Final Fantasy Suscitatio XIII
by GenesisArclite
Summary: A single choice can change everything. Lightning sets out to save the people for a new world, but when she accepts the one who destroyed the world as her reluctant ally, secrets are revealed sooner, feelings change, hearts are bared, and the future is unrecognizable as everything she thought would be is suddenly torn away. ["what if" fic]
1. Prelude: Dusk

_**Prelude: Dusk**_

It has been five hundred years since the world fell apart. The six l'Cie, in search of true freedom, have found their journey forcefully terminated. Time has stopped for the inhabitants of this strange world. A mysterious entity known as "chaos" now rules. Entire landmasses have eroded away and been swallowed by the thunderous sea surrounding what is left of the land. The sea has devoured the rest of the world, leading only a small corner, inhabited by a few thousand lone survivors. The whole of existence is perched on the brink of a final oblivion.

During the final thirteen days, something changes.

In the mysterious darkness of the chaos, the suffering that has gone on for centuries has cast a long shadow over all of this planet's existence. The fires of time are still, but not quenched. The whispers of the mysterious "liberator", an entity summoned by the overseer of this new world, have become murmurings as her awakening arrives. There is hope again for the people. Life twists and turns again, but no longer in a circle, as instead it begins to march forward toward the hope of a new world.

But the only hope for _this_ world is complete oblivion. And anyone this "liberator" does not save will be lost along with it, or so it is said.

The Liberator is a young woman, but she does not _look_ young anymore. Her eyes are serious. The lines of her face are hard. When she awoke, her first glimpse of the new reality was the brightest light casting its long shadow, saying that if she does its bidding, her bonds and those of the world's will break. She will get her sister back, she was told, and it is that tentative promise that spurs her into acting upon the wishes of Bhunivelze, the self-proclaimed god of this world, in the hopes of reuniting with her beloved sister.

No matter the cost, she is Lightning, and she will achieve freedom for all.

That will be more difficult than she knows. There are bursts of chaos in the night that the people have feared for centuries, for they bring powerful beasts resembling living shadows that devour those hapless enough to cross their path. No one has been able to vanquish even one of them. The world oozes pandemonium; paranoia creeps through the night as though all are being watched by angels of death.

It is into this maw of shadow the Liberator marches.

The six heroes of old, whose lives have become bedtime stories, whose sacrifices have become legend, whose flaws have been vindicated, are scattered.

And in the fountainhead of the chaos, something has begun to stir.

* * *

The Ark is a world displaced from the timestream of the land below, and Lightning is grateful for that – as grateful as she can be without being able to summon any real depth of emotion. For someone who has always felt strongly, the strange sensation of combined nonchalance, flat determination, and apathy would frighten her had she had the ability to feel such a thing, but she has been purged of the unneeded pettiness of emotion.

What remains is steel resolve, and knowing this place will protect her from the dying world under her feet helps her resolve more than this boy could ever know.

This boy, who had once been a man.

Lightning still felt echoes of feelings, but she knew, too, that the price of becoming so powerful had been giving up her emotions. She suspected it was to make her a better tool. That was fine. If being a tool was what it took to save the lives of those perched on the brink of the apocalypse, fine. She could deal with that. If losing her emotions was what it took to make her most effective, then that was the way it had to be. She'd deal, like she always did.

If losing most of what defined her as "human" meant Serah would return, so be it.

The echo she felt upon finding Hope Estheim in the same form she'd first encountered him so long ago could best be described as "confusion". She knew he had grown up in the timeline leading to this, but when she'd asked about it, he had shrugged and told her he couldn't remember how he'd gotten here. Demonstrating the same strength he had shown in her glimpses of time when he had been a man, though, quickly washed away all her doubts.

His job was to assist her in her task from this place, operating a terminal situated in the center of a vast chamber with a vaulted ceiling. In fact, when she looked up, she got a little dizzy, because she wasn't sure that actually _was_ the ceiling.

He worked feverishly at this terminal, constantly scanning a holographic map of the area and dropping pins on points of interest for her to investigate. "But not too many," he said at one point, "because you really _should_ focus on the task at hand, not all the interesting things to look at."

"Try to keep me busy," had been her response.

He, too, had been stripped of his emotional core, but still managed to work up a little smile as he complied, finding more points of interest on the map, which were then transmitted to her handset's map. Finally, after quite a bit of work at the terminal, he stepped back, a flicker of pride crossing his features.

"There. What do you think?"

She examined the map. "Very colorful."

The map showed the four continents splayed out in splashes of gray on black. Dots colored green, blue, and red glowed steadily in certain areas. Some of them were clustered, while others were strung out seemingly at random. At certain points, question marks hovered beside the dots, but for the moment, she didn't ask about them.

"I've managed to locate a few more people so far."

"And who would they be?"

Hope made a thoughtful sound. "Snow is still in Yusnaan."

Her eyes fell to the blue dot on the lower-left continent. Her old comrade's name hovered beside it. "Snow Villiers, the 'great hero' of the l'Cie," she murmured. The man had found himself in what Hope called the "city of revelry" – a place of eternal celebration as the inhabitants awaited the world's end. There, her new master had just enough influence that they considered the apocalypse a blessing, as in Luxerion. Unlike the latter, though, they refused to be very solemn about the event. "Has he left his palace at all?"

"From what I've heard, he hasn't left in centuries."

She wondered just how heavily the burdens of chaos weighed on his heart. Were they as fierce as she had heard they could become? Over time, she had been told, the burdens had accumulated in people's hearts, the years adding layer upon layer until their true selves were buried. The long life that came with time being broken meant that a person's normal accumulation of burdens had increased exponentially.

If she had to help Snow, then he had not escaped the chaos. The once eternally-optimistic man was now one of those she was required – no, _compelled by duty_ – to save.

How heavy _had_ his heart become?

"I'll go after him again when the time is right," she said. "Any others?"

Hope ran the back of his hand across his chin. "Well, I _may_ have found Sazh, but I'm not sure. There's also a strong presence of chaos in the temple ruins. From the energy waves bleeding off into the surrounding area, it appears to be the place where the chaos is flowing from."

Lightning gazed at the dot indicating the location of the temple – the ruins of an ancient metropolis the Angel of Valhalla had been predestined to lead her to. A great destiny waited there, and the memory of the whispering voice following her throughout the vast untamed wilderness still lingered. Someone wanted her to go there, into the thick of the chaos, fulfilling some wish of the voice's heart, and she could not ignore it. It had led her to the chocobo, led her to care for it, led her through confrontations and wilderness and darkness, ever closer to–

"The voice in the wilderness," she murmured. Her eyes, of their own accord, fixed on the dot of color. "It… told me to go… _there_. As soon as I could."

Hope hummed softly. "Into the font of the chaos. It could be very dangerous. You'll need to be careful, but I know you will be. Who knows, you may even be able to confront the erosion of the world and slow it. Perhaps, by some miracle, you can even stop it altogether, even if you cannot do it permanently."

Lightning lifted an eyebrow. "_Delay_ the end of the world?" She considered the possibility of achieving such a miracle. How many more people she could rescue from the chaos, if only she could stall its growth long enough to do so… "It's worth a try. Only a day has gone by so far. It won't be a waste of time.

"Good. I'll send you back to your chocobo once you're ready."

The woman gazed at the display, one hand resting on her thigh. "I'll have to search every corner of the world," she murmured. "Will I have enough time to save everyone?"

"It is not possible, Light."

She looked carefully at him, tilting her head slightly. "Isn't it?"

Hope shook his head, but didn't seem all that concerned. "You only have so much time, and there are many people left in the world. You can't save them all, despite the power Bhunivelze has given you." He gazed at her with soft eyes, reassuring her. "For each moment you spend on a more difficult task for a particularly dark heart, you may lose ten people with far lighter burdens. You must choose carefully." For a moment, something flashed through his eyes, but didn't last long enough for her to determine what it was. "The darkest hearts may have to be turned away for the sake of those who still have light within. I trust your judgment."

She nodded. This man – boy, as he had become once again – was always ready to believe in her. Sure, he worried about her, and watched her every move, but there was no one she would rather have watching her back, and if given the choice to walk alone or with him as her sole companion, well, she didn't have to wonder. "Add the ruins to my list of places to visit tomorrow," she murmured. "I have been told to go, and so, I shall go."

"What do you think is out there?"

She shifted her weight, staring at the dot. The ruins happened to be of the temple of Etro, which had once resided in Valhalla, the land where she had lost so much of her life to endless war. That land had been full of chaos, and that temple had been the seat of the overseer of chaos. No doubt it was strongly connected to the mysterious entity as a result. The only other entity she could think of so strongly connected to the chaos was the warrior, Caius Ballad, who had perished at the hand of Noel Kreiss on the temple's shores long ago.

"There are many guesses in my mind," she admitted, "but I will speak none of them until I have seen what's there."

"What if… what if there's something terrible out there?"

Lightning looked at him. "Such as?"

"Well, the chaos behaves like it's–" He shifted his weight. "–_alive_."

"Guess I'd better take care of it then." Now she flashed a quick smirk, but again, it felt hollow. Somewhere deep inside, some forgotten part of her clawed at her mind, but it was almost as though the part of her brain responsible for emotion had been removed. Only cold and simple logic remained, along with faint echoes of emotion, enough to get her riled, but not much else. That was fine. She did her best work when everything could be laid out logically. "I'll investigate. Meanwhile, try to find any others we might have known. I want to save as many as I can." She hesitated. "I can't save those who don't wish to be. Right?"

Hope nodded. "That would be correct. Bhunivelze put those restrictions on your power for a reason, I'm sure. It may be best not to question it."

"Or he just wants me to do what he wants so I get what I want." She sighed. "It seems no matter which way I turn, I end up as a slave to another's chosen fate."

Hope's green eyes narrowed slightly. "You aren't a slave to 'fate', Light," he said. "We got here _fighting_ a fate laid out by false gods, after all. We're going to pave our own path in the new world. When that day comes – and it _will_ – you'll see what I mean." One hand became a fist, which he raised to his chest. "We'll build our own future, Light. Don't get tangled up in the idea of 'fate' now, because it'll be over soon."

Lightning swallowed back the words she had nearly spoken – words intended to set him straight, but now, hearing him speak like the leader he had been in Academia, she didn't feel like it anymore. Little though he had become, his will, his determination, it seemed, had not dimmed in equal measure.

"You'll continue to return here at midnight." Hope turned back to his station, all business again. "I'm not giving you a choice, Light, and I can't. You'll need your rest. You're not superhuman."

"Oh, aren't I, Mister Estheim?"

He didn't look at her when he said, "It's Hope." Pause. "You have super_powers_, but I still would _never_ say you're superhuman. You're our last hope. You _have_ to succeed." He looked over his shoulder at her. "You can't falter, and you can't give up. And you _can't_ die. If you do _any_ of those things, it's over."

"Don't worry. I won't forget."

"Then…" His eyes softened again. "Please. Be careful, Light."

Lightning hesitated and looked carefully at him. "I will." Her eyes drifted to a slender tree sitting a short distance from the terminal. It had a few tendrils growing from it alongside a few leaves, but it looked thin and weak. "That tree needs to grow strong so that it can birth the new world."

The boy tilted his head. "It will be good to see."

Her expression didn't change when she said, "After all of this, it really will be."

The second of the last thirteen days began when she walked away from the terminal and the boy, allowing Hope to send her to the land below. It was simple: save the people of the old world, and go on to a new one. It was important, but still very simple. If someone could not or did not want to be saved, she would move on. Clean and simple.

But she understood the full depth of what she had been asked to do.

Her dear sister's fate hung in the balance: if she did her task well, her reward was Serah's life, able to go on and live in the new world. It was best, then, that she went through these next twelve days without her emotions. They would impede her, and turn her from the woman she had become into a doubting child, something she just couldn't afford to be. Too much had been lost. No, from here on out, she had to be the soldier with a heart of steel. She _had_ to keep her head up, eyes forward, shoulders back, never doubting.

When the new world came, everything would finally be alright, and the dreams and wishes of those who had been present for Cocoon's first fall would finally come true. There would be peace. This world would be gone, but it was a small price to pay to see all the pain and suffering come to an end.

Snow and Serah would be reunited. Since she had so foolishly refused to give her blessing when the time had been best, blinded by her lack of knowledge about a passionate but adoring man, this would be her next atonement – by saving the world, and uniting the two lovers again.

She stepped into the teleporter, and the Ark dissolved into starlit nighttime around her.

* * *

Lightning is a soldier, tasked with defeating the darkness with the power of the light. There are no doubts in her mind, no inkling that anything would ever sway her from her path. No matter what she encounters, she will never move from where she stands, never let her sights move from where they sat now, never sway from her ultimate goal of reuniting with her beloved sister, whom she had sent to her death, as she has already accepted.

Nothing will stop her, and no one can change her mind.

In the fountainhead of chaos, something is stirring, while above it a figure cloaked in darkness and lost in thought awaits the day when he no longer has to gaze at the world he brought into being. Maybe then, he can finally pretend to have some peace. He can never die, of course. No, _his_ fate will be worse than death, but he has accepted it. The Liberator will come for him, will try to help him – this, he knows, beyond all doubt – but he also knows that she has failed long before she has even begun.

All around, shadowy echoes cry for and plead with him.

In the midst of it, all he can do is what he has done for five long centuries: wait, patiently, for the day when it finally ends. Now, he adds another task to that one: how to explain to the woman that she can't save him, shouldn't try, and that he cannot be unbound from the world's fate by any mere mortal hand, not even hers.

It stings, it hurts, it makes him angry, but he has accepted it.

But she will still come for him, and the hands of destiny have begun to tick forward once more.

* * *

_And so begins the multichapter LR story I have been planning since the game was announced back in 2013. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoy the ride!_


	2. Seeds

_**1 Seeds**_

Tucked in a narrow valley filled with lush greenery, thick with the scent of minerals and dirt, Lightning found what she had been looking for.

An airship had nosedived here long ago, now overgrown and rusted from time. The morning sun made what bare metal was left shimmer like diamonds. Lightning slid off her mount, letting the bird fluff his feathers and pick at the grass, and hesitated, basking in the warmth of the sunlight all around her for a moment. Birds sang in the trees and butterflies flitted between flowers as flashes of color all around her. It was as though the impending end of the world did not exist at all, and all that mattered were the flowers, the trees, and the butterflies.

"Wait here," she murmured. "And be patient, okay?"

The bird trilled softly in response, but his look of displeasure burned like a brand, making her extend a hand to pat his beak very gently. Again, he trilled, but a little quieter this time, sounding slightly less worried. Turning away, she headed for what seemed to be the entrance to this mysterious structure. Half of her wondered if Hope had even been _close_ to right, saying that a signal seemed to be coming from somewhere inside this ancient place.

After only a few steps, she stopped and looked behind her.

There was no reason the Shadow Hunter would have followed her clear out here, though, dozens of miles from his new abode in Luxerion. Besides, she had only run into him once so far, after which meeting he had merely said he would wait for her to return, as it was "not the right time". There was no reason for him to follow her. Still, he had given her a good – if brief – match, during which he had demonstrated surprising ferocity that had made her nervous. He had always been a hunter, but she had never seen him look so _eager_ to kill…

_You will die, Lightning, by my hand, or none at all_.

Though she didn't feel the emotion that usually accompanied such a gesture, she did feel the hairs on her arms stand up. Tonight, she would need to return to Luxerion and see what the Children of Etro were up to – stop yet another young woman from being scarified, another soul from being lost, and once more protect the innocent from suffering because of the mistakes _she_ had once made. She would probably run into him again.

Sensing a flicker of chaos, she glanced around again.

And, again, saw nothing at all.

The white chocobo ripped up a chunk of grass, roots and all, and choked it down while warbling softly. Figuring everything was _probably_ alright, she continued on.

Cut into the side of the airship, overgrown with various plants, but with a path slashed through the vegetation, was a door. Trying the handle, she felt it give enough to swing it open and step inside. The metal blocked the sunlight and accompanying heat; her eyes had to adjust to the cool, shadowy interior that greeted her. It smelled like leather, old cloth, and soil – not unpleasant smells, by any mean. It was also very quiet inside, so she kept a hand at the ready as she moved deeper into the structure along a central corridor.

From somewhere deep inside, a breeze whisked past her neck, fluttering her collar, stirring her hair, bringing the scent of wet soil to her nostrils. From the ceiling dangled vines thick with flowers and tufts of green moss, swaying gently in that sweet-scented breeze.

"I'm detecting a couple of heat signatures," Hope murmured. "Human-sized, I think. Though, one's pretty small."

Not wanting to break the silence, she only exhaled into the mike.

He seemed to understand. "Be careful, Light."

A quiet splash reached her; she looked down to find one boot planted in a puddle a couple of centimeters deep and now swirling with dirt she'd upset in the process. She took a quick breath, lifting her boot carefully out of the water and placing it on drier ground – what remained of the metal hull that had not yet rusted away. Once she was firmly on that solid ground, she continued forward, picking her way carefully, avoiding spots where it looked as though the hull was nothing but wet rust and moss, where one wrong step could send her into whatever lay beneath.

After a time, she came upon a door, shut tight.

Lightning glanced over her shoulder at a long hallway sprinkled with shafts of light and with moss dangling from the ceiling like soggy green fingers. Nothing moved, and there was no sound. She took a breath, nose wrinkling reflexively at the scent of moldy soil, and tried the handle of the door, hooking her fingers tight into it and pulling with all her strength. It didn't budge; she tried again, and it groaned, but didn't give.

She released her discomfort as a quick exhale and examined the door more carefully. There were no hinges, and the rubber seal around it had rotted away long ago. Streaks of greenish rust painted the front.

It hadn't been opened in a very long time.

She moved on, following the hallway to the right across muddy spits of land and rusty puddles. The smell of ancient engine oil greeted her for a moment; she twisted slightly to see a door slightly adjacent, leading to what looked to be an old engine room. She paused and peered inside, but the engine had long ago seized up, dry but for the rusty water running over everything; she continued on, choking back a gag at the stench rising from the soil. A little further on, she found another door, and this one didn't seem to be in as bad a shape as the previous one.

Trying the handle, she tugged the door open.

"Not another step, you."

Lightning froze and slowly turned her head toward the familiar voice. A shaft of sunlight blocked her view; she squinted, but couldn't cut through the contrast enough to see to the other side. "Sazh?" she called, and started to take a step forward, hoping to go around the shaft of sunlight.

"One more step, and there's gonna be a neat hole drilled somewhere in your body."

She reversed her step. "Sazh Katzroy, it's me. It's Lightning."

"It's something that looks like Lightning, same as what whisked Hope to the Ark a long time ago." She still saw nothing, but at least could determine that the voice was coming from the far side of the sunbeam. He had managed to sneak up on her. Had her powers given her that much arrogance? She certainly wasn't invulnerable, and a well-placed bullet could still cause her plenty of discomfort. "I say whether you're her or not."

She frowned slightly. "I'm not an imposter."

"Easy for you to say."

Briefly, her fingers itched for her sword, but she resisted. "If I was here to kill you, wouldn't I just do it?" she said with a sigh. Maybe stating the obvious would help.

"Sure, but if you're here to trick me, this'd be a real fine way to do it, don't you think?"

Reasoning with him wouldn't work. "Sazh, either trust it's me, or you can stay here and keep suffering from the chaos burden in your heart. I know it's there. I can–" Reaching out with her senses, she probed the ever-present stink of chaos around her and found a particularly bright flare coming from Sazh's direction. "I can feel it. Something's troubling you, and unless you let me help you, you'll be destroyed with the world when it ends."

There was a long moment of silence before he punctuated it with a sigh. "Can't say that wouldn't be best."

Lightning felt her brow knit and her emotionless heart ache. "Sazh, please come out."

There was a crunch of gravel and the soupy sound of something pulling itself free from the mud, and then a splash as the owner of the voice stepped around the sunbeam into view. It was Sazh, definitely, dressed in a worn leather coat pulled over a faded green shirt and the cream-colored lower half of a pilot's suit, the rest of the suit tied around his waist with the suit's strings. As he moved further into view, he holstered a pistol on his thigh before stopping and peering at her along the wall. She gazed back, waiting to see what he would do.

"So, you came here to save me, huh?" he murmured.

She shifted her weight, glancing at the pistols in the holsters on Sazh's thighs. She knew how fast he could pull those out if he felt the need to. "Only if you wish to be," she murmured, shifting her weight. "I cannot save those who don't wish to be saved. Now, what is going on, Sazh? What troubles you?"

His eyebrows knitted. "You're really here to help, huh? The legendary Liberator, come to save the souls of those drenched in darkness, isn't it?"

Swallowing quietly, she said, "Let me help you, please."

There was a flicker of pain in his eyes. "Do you remember my little boy?"

Lightning felt her fingers flex. "Dajh. Yes."

"He's– come and see." He stepped past, motioning for her to follow, and opened the door she had been trying the rest of the way. As her eyes adjusted, she saw something interesting: a hole carved in the roof, beneath which sat a bed of red-hot coals. Around the coals was a small assortment of chairs, looking as if they had come from all different places. The rest of the room was sparsely furnished, with a man-sized bed in the far corner, and near it, propped against the wall–

Lightning moved toward that bed and its single tiny occupant, lying on his back, unmoving. "Dajh," she said, and reached out, gently brushing her fingers across his forehead. When she reached out with her senses, she felt nothing, not even a flicker of chaos – as if he were a void in the world.

"It's like he's in a coma. Been that way for centuries. Right after the chaos spilled into the world." Sazh moved up beside her, folding his arms. "I tried everything."

She withdrew her hand. "There's nothing there, Sazh. Nothing at all. Not a flicker of life."

"He's breathing," the man said stiffly.

Lightning's eyes roved over the boy's form. Sure enough, he _was_ breathing, but slowly and deeply. "As far as I can tell, there's nothing more than body here," she told him, keeping her voice low. "It's breathing, it's technically alive, but it's not doing anything else. Sazh…" She looked at him, seeing his expression darken. "…Dajh is not in there. It's not even that he's in a coma. He's not even _there_."

Sazh abruptly turned on his heel. "Don't you think I know that?"

"If you do," she said, "then–"

"Do you see this?" Sazh turned, and in one hand he held a small box with a glass heart on the front. It shone faintly in the morning sunlight. "Lumina gave it to me, said I can save Dajh if I can find where his soul ran off to and hold it in here long enough to bring him home." Gazing at the box, he missed Lightning's wince, missed the uncertainty that crept through her at the mention of the girl's name. "I've searched for centuries, and…" Bitterness seeped into his voice; he laid the box on a table and stared at it. "…found nothing."

"You said Lumina gave it to you?"

"Little pink-haired girl, kind of looks like Serah? Yeah." Now he looked back at her, his brow furrowing. "I know she's a mischief-maker, but I've got nothing else to go on."

"She could be lying to you, Sazh. Manipulating you."

"Maybe, but it's _all I have_."

She shook her head slightly, but decided not to push any further. "Perhaps I can search for him," she offered in as calm a tone as she could muster. "Maybe I'll have better luck finding him."

Sazh made no move to pick up the box. "Maybe."

Lightning gazed at him, then glanced at Dajh and sighed quietly. "I'm sorry, Sazh. I wish to help."

"You can't," the man said, but sounded more resigned and apathetic than in any way upset. "It's what it is. I can't keep a grip on my son. Seems like no matter what I do, I lose him." The man _should_ have sounded far more upset than he did, but he seemed instead as though every ounce of emotion regarding the situation had been sapped out of him. The five centuries had felt far too long for him.

Glancing back at the boy, she hesitated, then said, "I'll search for him." She eyed Sazh carefully. "Do you remember what happened when he fell asleep?"

"Plain as day," he told her, gazing at her, eyes plainly stating that the memory had been etched in deep. "There was a bright light just before the chaos came, and then it came for the two of us. Next thing I know, I'm still strapped in my seat, but Dajh is out like a light, and the airship's here." He spread his hands, dark eyes meeting hers.

"I see," she murmured. "Perhaps the chaos has him."

"Then _why_," Sazh demanded, "leave his body behind? What's the _point_?" His voice rose in pitch, but she heard the half-terror that underlined it.

Lightning fixed her eyes on his, making it clear that he _dare not_ look away. "The chaos is malevolent more often than it is benevolent. I was in Valhalla, surrounded by it, and it was always on Caius's side, not mine." She shook a few dark memories away before they could take too much hold.

"You saying it took Dajh away just to play with me?"

"I wouldn't ignore the possibility, Sazh, especially where Lumina is involved."

The man turned his back to her; Lightning saw an opening out onto what seemed to be part of the airship's deck, one he had turned into a makeshift patio. The bloom of sunlight made it difficult to see details.

"I've got things, uh, I need to do," he said, and went outside.

Lightning chewed her lip and glanced back at Dajh, wondering where Lumina, the chaos, and the end of the old world converged. Flicking her headset back on, she said, "Hope, I don't know what I can do to help Sazh. I can search for his son, but I'm not even sure where to begin looking. Or…" She sighed. "…even what I'm looking _for_. Got any bright ideas on how to proceed?"

"Lumina may know something," he said without hesitation. "When she turns up again, and she will, ask her."

Lightning snorted. "Besides that, Hope."

"Well…" There was a long moment of hesitation. "There's a lot of people in Luxerion, members of the Order, who have some experience with things like this. When you return to Luxerion tonight, my suggestion is to try going to them – maybe even the Grand Inquisitor – and ask about it. They'll have _unique_ insight, I'm sure."

Lightning felt her skin crawl slightly at the idea of facing the Order again. She would already have to face them to stop another senseless sacrifice this evening, near midnight; having to ask them where a small child could have been taken by the chaos was a prospect she didn't like.

"For now, why don't you just go speak to Sazh? Maybe he has more insight."

Lightning took another glance at the child before acknowledging him and switching off the vox function. When she stepped outside, her eyes hurt briefly as they adjusted to the light before she was able to take in her surroundings – huge tracts of land sweeping into the distance, mountains carpeted in prickly trees, a blue sky scattered with puffy white clouds, and in the distance, a gray-bellied cloud drenching a hillside in the thick gray mist of rain. Sazh stood at the railing, arms loosely crossed over it, and leaned over, staring blankly.

"I tried looking for him when it all first went down," he said as she moved up beside him. "Don't know how long I searched, but I did my best. Found no trace but his body."

Lightning said, "I'll find him, Sazh. I promise."

"Maybe," Sazh murmured. He still stared blankly into space. "If you find any leads, you know where I'll be."

She nodded and stepped away, giving him the space he obviously desired. Despite being out here for so long, all by himself, it seemed a visitor easily wore out their welcome. Keeping her thoughts to herself, she started back inside to leave the way she had come.

Then she paused, and said, "Sazh, you mentioned something that intrigues me."

"Yeah?" He shifted his weight. "What's that?"

"About an imposter who took Hope with her back to the Ark," she said. "I know little of what happened while I was asleep, but it seems that, at some point, Hope was here, on the ground, rather than in the sky." She felt her brow furrow tightly. "What imposter, Sazh? What happened?"

It was a long moment before he looked at her, leaning back on the railing. "Hope was haunted by someone who looked like you for a couple of years," he said, slowly, as if reluctant to speak – or, she thought, thinking very hard to pull out ancient memories. "I don't think he believed it was you, but he was so desperate to find you after losing Serah and everyone else to the chaos that he eventually followed her to the Ark and never returned." He sighed. "If you ever find him, you should ask about it."

"I did find him," she murmured. "He's been returned to his teenage body, and resides in the Ark."

Sazh blinked, mouth hanging slightly open. "You… he's there? He's _alive_?"

"He is indeed, Sazh, and more than that, he's been guiding me and helping me save others from the chaos."

Sazh's brow furrowed. "You haven't seen that imposter, right?"

"No. This is the first I've heard of her."

Sazh looked thoughtful, one eyebrow going down slightly further than the other. "Ask about her," he said. "I'm actually surprised he hasn't mentioned her. Doesn't seem quite like him. Actually… to be honest…" He tilted his head. "…you don't seem quite like _your_self, either. But, then, it's been five hundred years…"

Lightning let the silence stretch for a moment. "I will ask, I promise."

"Good idea. Meanwhile…" He turned away again. "…if you ever need me, I'll be right here."

It was a clear dismissal. Giving him a respectful nod, she turned away, seeing herself out of his living space. At the far end of the balcony was a set of makeshift steps onto the hull that she followed, before climbing down the rusted stepladder etched into the side of the hull and dropping to the ground. Feeling the springy earth underfoot eased her frustrations, but barely, and she took a moment to gaze up at Sazh until he turned away and vanished from her sight.

"I'm back where I started," she murmured into the mike.

Hope sighed. "You tried, Lightning, but don't give up. There may yet be a lead for Dajh."

She felt her chest tighten slightly. "I didn't waste time," she said. "That much is clear, at least. You're right. We'll solve the mystery of his disappearance yet." Switching off the mike again, she glanced over at the rainclouds and saw they were slightly closer now. Her chocobo, when she circled around the airship again, was where she left him, staring at her.

"What makes you think you can help Dajh?"

Lightning didn't bother to look – that voice had turned up enough times for her to know who it was. "What do you know about what happened to him, Lumina?"

The girl fell in step beside her. "Oh, you think I _stole_ him, is that it? That I'm keeping him far away from Sazh so daddy falls into deep despair?" She chuckled. "Sorry, but no. It wasn't me."

"Then you must know _who_," she said, and faced her suddenly.

Lumina only raised an eyebrow. "Maybe I do and maybe I don't. Either way, you're not getting much out of me, Liberator. Though, I will say, the whole thing about discussing it with the Order, not a bad idea."

Lightning felt her fingertips prickle. "How did you kn–"

"And you'll do it anyway, no matter how much you don't want to, because it's what you do and you just want all these people to be happy and safe again, right?" And with that, she vanished in a swirl of darkness, and Lightning was left staring at the void she left behind for a few minutes, wondering what that could possibly mean.

"Lightning, are you there?"

She turned back to her chocobo and climbed onto his back, saying, "Still here, Hope, what's up?"

"I found a small chaos emission somewhere in the forest. I'm trying to pinpoint its location, but it resembles the ones following both Sazh and Snow. I think there might be someone we knew with a strong burden out there. Once I have the location, I'll let you know."

Lightning looked out at the forest and its vastness. "Keep me posted. I'm moving out."

As she rode her steed out into the forest, heading for the network of valleys, canyons, and crevasses that surrounded the temple, she sensed a flash of darkness and twisted to look, quick as thought, hand on her blade.

There was nothing at all, but the weight of chaos sat on her heart.

"Easy, boy," she murmured, but her hand didn't reflect the words spilling from her lips. She thought of asking Hope if he picked up anything, but as the moments passed, the burden eased, though it lingered like a beast prowling about the fringes of forest shadows and sent tremors up and down her spine. It felt like the beast that had devoured a crowd of people in less than a minute last night, ripping the chaos from their bodies and killing them right after before vanishing into the emission from whence it had come.

A beast of shadow and many flailing tendrils, whose glowing eyes still bored into her in the back of her mind.

Shaking those memories away, she urged her mount onward.

* * *

Sazh watched for a while, until the pink-haired woman upon her white-feathered mount vanished into the forest, and turned away, walking back inside and gazing at the boy, lying without moving – as he had for centuries – off in the corner. For a moment, his steps stuttered; Lightning's words danced through his mind. Was she right? Was he just watching over an empty casket in the shape of his boy? Was it pointless?

_No_, he corrected, and shook his head. It could _never_ be pointless. It was his _son_. His one and only _son_.

"So, what's next? Anything new?"

Sazh stopped beside the fire, not bothering to look in the direction of the voice. "Same as always."

A girl's impish giggle met his ears. "Same, reliable Sazh. Five hundred years, and you haven't changed. You'll _never_ change. In fact…" And suddenly she was in front of him, hands folded behind her back, bright blue eyes boring straight into his. "…that makes me happy. You're always someone I can count on."

Sazh met Lumina's eyes, saying, "Am I?"

For an instant, her smirk faltered, and if he hadn't been watching carefully, he'd have missed it. He was sure. "Don't ever forget what happened here," she said, gesturing toward the boy. "Don't forget who did this, and don't _ever_ forget that because of him, your son…" Her smirk vanished, eyes growing solemn. "…is gone." She looked, just for a moment, utterly heartbroken, before vanishing in a wink of pale light.

Sazh stared at the space she left behind, thinking.

* * *

_Sazh will play a larger role here than he did in the game, and will reappear periodically throughout the story. One of my gripes with the game was that he got such a small role, so I'm hoping to rectify that somewhat. :) I will do my best to have weekly updates, but if my schedule gets too busy, chapters will come every 2-3 weeks, but (hopefully) no longer than that._

_Also, throughout, I will use a mixture of tensai-shoujo's translations and the English localization, particularly in dialogue and story structure. It won't be obvious so much at the start, but hopefully moreso later on._

_Thanks for reading! Please enjoy!_


	3. Shadow of Valhalla

_**2 Shadow of Valhalla**_

A narrow crevasse divided the mountain and formed a natural path littered with stones and weeds. At the other end of this path, the bridge connected the cliff she stood on and the stony face of the temple ruins. The chocobo made a concerned hooting sound as she swung off his back and dropped to the ground. The impact echoed for a moment in the natural amphitheater. The sun shone right into the valley, turning the air overhead gold. It was _beautiful_; she stood for a moment, hands buried in her companion's fluffy feathers, and stared. Echoes and memories of emotions – awe and joy, mostly – flickered deep within her. Her memories of Gran Pulse were hazy, but she certainly recalled seeing beauty of this magnitude during her dangerous trek with the others long ago.

Again, the chocobo made a concerned sound; she reached up and gently tugged on his reins, shushing him. "Stay here until I get back. I know you don't want me going alone, but this has to be done. It's my job, you see?"

He gently pressed his beak to her shoulder.

"Stay here." She rubbed his forehead with one hand. "I'll be back, promise."

Turning toward the ruins, she took a hesitant step onto the bridge and heard it creak. The chocobo warbled and stomped one foot, but she took another step, and the bridge held. Exhaustion from running all over the world since one o' clock that morning seeped into her bones – many hours now without rest – but the endurance given to her as part of her job would keep her going until midnight.

With brisk but careful steps, she crossed the bridge. It linked two sides of a chasm, at the bottom of which ran a river bordered by sheer rock walls. As she approached the all-too-familiar structure, the air grew colder and thinner, until she stood in the shadows and gazed straight up at its scowling face. The breeze died as she came to the edge of the steps. Goosebumps rose on her skin. Clinging to every corner and wall were the cobwebs of bad memories she still hadn't gotten rid of. The top half of the temple had once existed, but she could still remember the moment it had been torn away by her enemy's wrath. The impact with the meteor still made her body hurt when she thought of it.

She swallowed and walked inside.

The gloom seemed unnatural and much too thick for mere shadows. The air felt cold and thin at the same time as it felt thick and stifling, as though every element in the universe collided here and warred endlessly about who would come out on top. The sunshine didn't make it inside. The only light was some sort of greenish-blue ambience she couldn't determine the exact source of.

The place stank of chaos – a cold, bitter, organic smell that brought back another flood of memories. She could not react with the right amount of anger, but some of it leaked through, emotion bleeding into her, before it slipped away into the mysterious void that had replaced her heart.

"Is anyone here?" Her voice echoed. The sound of her heart in her ears seemed to be the only noise. "This is the font of the chaos, isn't it?"

No response. She kept going, looking around at where her eternal war with her rival had decimated much of the ancient stone, toppling spires and breaking platforms, forming staircases and ramps where none had existed in the first place. She followed her instincts, heading upward, ascending wherever she could, climbing toward the throne room. The further up she went, the thicker and more disgusting the stink of chaos became, until it turned acrid and filled her nostrils with every breath.

"Getting tired, are we?"

Lightning stopped by a pile of rubble that connected to the next floor up. "What do you want?"

Lumina said nothing for a moment, perched on a railing above her and looking down without expression, her eyes shining in the ambient light. Lightning sensed the same heaviness and prickle of chaos hanging around the girl's deceivingly petite frame as she felt just before a chaos emission ripped a hole in a street. The girl seemed to be made of chaos, and her presence made the back of her neck itch. She stank of chaos, and when she left, there was always a void in space and time that quickly filled like a bubble burst underwater. Even her steps left behind prints made out of chaos, like a trail of blood wherever she went.

Lightning shivered and moved away, clawing her way up a pile of rubble. She slipped once, caught herself, and climbed the rest of the way to a platform jutting out into open space. Overhead, crumbled ruins had toppled into thin air, but now they hung suspended there, unmoving, frozen in time.

"I hope you're not here to cause problems," Lumina said. "Don't you have stuff to do? Like, help Sazh? And what about Noel and Snow and the others? Don't _they_ kind of matter to you?"

"Why does it matter to _you_?"

Lumina made a show of yawning and swinging her legs. "You've been here before, right?"

"Am I wasting time, Lumina?"

Lumina shrugged. "Depends. Why don't you walk out before you get in trouble?" She smirked; Lightning looked around again, getting the impression that something was watching her. "That's what you do best, right? Walk away, or throw yourself headfirst into it. No middle ground."

Lightning looked at her. "Who's here?"

Lumina plucked at a strap on her shoe. "Well, lots of people, but most of them look the same. But there's _one_ who won't like you being here. Don't you get it? There's no one to save here, just living corpses waiting for oblivion."

A cold feeling slunk through her blood. "I _knew_ it…"

The girl smirked at her. "You have no idea what's waiting for you here," she said, "but I do."

"It is a land choked in death. No one here desires your presence."

Lumina stopped plucking at the strap and looked in the direction of the new voice. In a swirl of shadow and smoke, she vanished, leaving Lightning standing slightly bewildered in a dusty atrium with no one else in sight. She hadn't imagined the voice, but no matter where she looked, she saw nothing at all. The voice left a faint echo behind that quickly faded. The ambient light filtered through the gloom as spots of blue-green and silver across the stone walls and cracked floor. No breeze touched her skin, and yet something stirred her robes and made them flutter quietly around her. The sensation of chaos suddenly filled the air, tendrils reaching out to spread across the entire atrium like shadows creeping across the world with the sun.

The voice brought back a thousand memories. She would know it anywhere – deep, strong, fierce, like the howl of a storm or the rumble of thunder.

"Caius Ballad." Her lips formed the words quickly, trying to sound casual, but instincts on alert. Her hand itched for her sword; her gaze darted all over, trying to pierce the darkness, but this was _his_ place, it always had been, and the ever-present chaos meant she could very well be out of her league here.

"Why have you come to these catacombs?"

Trying to pinpoint his location proved difficult – it sounded as though he were all around her. "To seek the truth of the chaos emissions we located from the Ark. I didn't expect to find _you_ here." She supposed, though, that she really _shouldn't_ have been surprised. He had proven resourceful and difficult to dispatch before.

The question, though, was _how_ he was here.

"They are the emissions devouring the world. They are responsible for the darkness in people's hearts."

Again, she looked around, but still saw nothing. "You're supposed to be dead."

"How incredibly observant of you."

"Don't patronize me, Ballad. I can still handle you."

A shadow moved, peeling away from a pillar to move into plain sight. She focused on it, fingers again itching for her sword, and recognized his distinctive stride as he passed between the pillars, a spot of slightly lighter darkness against the endless gloom. He had solid form, but it almost seemed as if he had fashioned it out of the chaos that surrounded them, and as she watched, she sensed a trail of chaos, like Lumina's, behind him.

"We first met when you were the goddess's knight." His tone mocked her. "Then, you _could_ have handled me." Then he moved into view, and the ambient light let her see him properly.

She felt a prick of anxiety at the sight of him. His physical appearance seemed no different than from five hundred years prior, but his eyes seemed colder and harder, lips pressed tighter together, and instead of the smirk she was used to, he greeted her with a stare. Something about his presence seemed dangerous, daring, and iron hard – far harder and _harsher_ than when she had known him before.

"But you are no knight of Etro now. Now–" And he raised a hand as he spoke, a flare of energy casting a cold light across his hard features. "–you are a mere hunter of souls."

She should have known better than to keep standing there. The shield on her arm could not go to her defense quickly enough. The energy burst moved with the quickness of her namesake through the stifling darkness, slashing into her with the force of a hammer blow. It pierced her chest, just below the collarbone, filling her with a burst of pain that turned her vision red. She toppled back, the floor suddenly gone, her feet briefly trying to find purchase in midair, stomach flipping over as she fell.

Far below, she struck the stone, rolling with the impact, but her limbs shivered, breathing sharp and shallow.

"You should go before you cause trouble."

Grunting softly, rising to one knee, she fixed her eyes on his, though his form blurred in the shadows hanging around him. A hand clutched at her chest, where it felt as though someone had stuck her with a knife, making her breathing tight and shallow, shadows slowly wavering about the entry point. It _hurt_, an incredibly painful throbbing sensation that threatened to make her head spin. It stifled her ability to sense the chaos, she noticed immediately, which made her feel oddly naked.

"Why aren't you dead?" A throb turned her words into a grunt of pain, hand pressed against the energy burning in her chest. "You _should_ be dead."

Caius did not move, only gazing down at her in silence. Her hand clenched and unclenched at her side. If the need arose, she could snatch her blade off her back. That could provoke him to attack, though, and she hadn't come this far just to get herself beat down by him once again. This place echoed with memories and sensations, images in her mind of endless war and the crushing pain of his power colliding with hers, of a hopeless heart, of an emptiness that had grown exponentially in this strange new world.

"If only death's release could have been mine." The cold void of his voice clashed with her last memory of one so filled with passion that it'd frightened her. "They will not let me die. Instead, I must exist as a corpse unfit for any meaningful existence."

Rubbing a hand across the wound, she realized it hadn't actually broken the skin or even the armor. It was merely a bloom of chaos. If she'd wondered if he hadn't wanted her around, it couldn't be any clearer than this.

"Good luck getting me to turn around," she said.

For an instant, his features weren't so cold. "I see. Very well. If you see fit to navigate these halls, do as you please."

As he spoke, his voice grew thin, she felt as though she heard it inside her head instead of around her, and he faded away. Grunting, she hoisted herself to her feet, glaring at the spot he had once occupied, and wondered what he had done to her. If she left, it would go away. Somehow, she knew that. The chaos wouldn't sting anymore, and she wouldn't waste any time going after a man who, obviously, didn't want her there.

But there were so many unanswered questions.

As she staggered forward, getting her breathing under control, she heard familiar skipping steps behind her. "You're the most stubborn thing I've ever met. You get turned into the Liberator and it's like you lose common sense. The man doesn't _want_ you here. That chaos? It's gonna make it hard to even think, much less move. There's places here you forgot about that'll make it worse." Lumina lifted an eyebrow when Lightning glared at her. "You're special."

Lightning wasn't in the mood. "I've got things I need to finish with him."

"He's pretty powerful. More powerful even than _you_. Sure you wanna go up against him all alone?"

"I've got to try."

"You hate him so much, but you go be a martyr anyway. Fine." The girl practically spat the last word. "Have it your way." And then she vanished in a wisp of shadow, and Lightning began scaling the rubble in front of her until she reached the next floor up.

As she approached the edge of a ruined balcony, something lit up in the darkness, casting a less sickly green glow across her path. A crackle of static from the headset startled her; she switched it off. The sheer amount of chaos in the area was probably blocking communication, anyway, and the last thing she needed was a distraction.

She turned toward the light and followed it up a broad staircase to another balcony higher up. Halfway there, she stumbled, vision clouding and head spinning. Her balance vanished; she staggered forward, tripped over a step, and landed on her knees.

"If you leave, the pain will end." Caius's familiar voice echoed around her. "You are wasting time."

She dragged herself to her feet. "I'm not leaving."

"I am nothing more than a corpse forced to wander these halls until the end comes. If you come after me, this is a place steeped in the shadow of the old world, a place where those who still live should never tread. There is nothing here for one such as you – nothing but old and bitter memories of you and me." Then his voice faded away, and her vision cleared enough for her to stand.

The light came from what appeared to be engravings in the walls around her. Once her eyes adjusted, she walked without missing a step. Her footsteps echoed in the eerie silence. There were no monsters here, oddly – so many had come out of the chaos in the outside world, but none here, where the chaos was at its thickest. Only the silence and wisps of chaos, accompanied by faint whispers when she brushed past them, came to her.

Eventually, after a bit of wandering, she entered a multilevel chamber. The light painted her surroundings in a haze that made it difficult to make anything out, but she saw a small human shape in the corner near a pile of rubble, and as she approached, the light outlined her face clearly enough for her to see who it was.

Lightning breathed, "Yeul?"

The girl standing before her looked like the girls she had seen pass through Valhalla – a sweep of green-tinted hair falling elegantly down her back, vivid green eyes gazing at her from beneath thick dark lashes, a small and young face, caught in a soft glow of greenish light that came from everywhere and nowhere. Lightning stopped cold. It was the seeress, but curled around her legs were wisps of whispering darkness.

"You have been lead here, Liberator, to the fountainhead of the chaos." The green-eyed girl spoke softly.

Lightning blinked. "So that's what this place is."

The girl looked strong, but her eyes were sad, and for a few moments, there was silence. Her eyes fell to the floor, and Lightning stared at her. "You have been lead here, where only you can ease the pain of the eternally-suffering soul. Do it for me, Liberator, and save my Guardian, the one who cannot find rest. Please, save Caius."

Lightning felt a flicker of a memory at the girl's plea. She couldn't… _quite_ remember how she felt about the man, now that he no longer stood before her. Was it hatred? Anger? Bitterness? Sorrow? A mix of emotion, settling in the pit of her stomach, tied her insides into a knot. Part of her couldn't believe she was being asked to save the one who had brought the world to this state to begin with.

"What do you mean, save him?" she murmured. "What's going on?"

The girl looked uncomfortable, features twisting slightly, before breathing slowly and looking away. "He has lost his immortal heart, and with it, his will to live."

Lightning thought of her rival's unwavering will and stubborn refusal to listen, and found this difficult to believe.

"He longs for death. Can you bring it to him?"

The woman _almost_ smirked, but quickly decided against it. "Death, or salvation from the chaos in his heart?"

"Whichever you can, he will take either one."

She frowned. "So, he tried to defy fate and ended up in a trap of his own doing." Only the whisper of the wind filled the silence that followed as she slowly shook her head. "I shouldn't be surprised." Grunting softly and looking up at the balcony she had yet to scale to, she thought of the war and the scars he had left – literal, and figurative.

"Please try," the girl said gently. "I will build bridges as you need them and lead you there. He waits in the throne room." As she spoke, she raised a hand and pointed at the balcony. Wisps of chaos created platforms leading from the floor to the railing – all spaced just right for her to climb. "It is his doing that trapped him," she murmured, "and our own. You must save him from our hand."

Lightning began to climb. Behind her, the girl vanished in a wisp of smoke.

It felt strange wandering the grand halls and scattered rubble without Hope's voice in her ear. He was probably getting worried, but she didn't feel like trying to reach him at the moment. If he could pierce the chaos at all, he would know she was fine, and if he couldn't, well… he'd just have to wait.

As she passed a hall to her left, she glanced down it, and for a moment, heard the sound of crashing blades.

The bloom of chaos stabbed her in the heart.

Clear as day, memories of being dragged from reality by irresistible shadows, pulled into an infinite realm of light and dark and time, forced to witness changing history, and then dropped onto a crystal-laden beach came to her, one after the other, hitting her like stones. So much _pain_ piercing her heart, coupled with echoes of memories she knew were not entirely hers – _his_ essence flowed through here as well, thick and dark, seeping into her bones, heavy with the memory of his triumph, sour with her own bitterness and tears.

Dizzy from the sensations surging from the chaos, she turned away and stumbled on, gritting her teeth as the bloom in her chest gnawed at her heart.

Only when she had put a significant distance between herself and the memories did the pain finally die away.

At the foot of more impassable rubble, a girl appeared.

Lightning approached cautiously but curiously, looking the girl up and down. She looked different from last time, hair arranged a little differently and eyes shadowed in smoky makeup that told her the girl had come from a time of strife – it resembled warrior's paint, accentuating the piercing mystery of her eyes, bringing out the sharp slant of her dark eyebrows. Even her skin seemed tinged gold, as though she had spent a lot of time in the sun, and there was a tiny red bloom woven into her hair near her ear.

"You're a different Yeul," Lightning murmured, feeling as though she stated the obvious.

The girl looked her dead in the eye and nodded once. "Do you know what this place is, Liberator? Do you know how all of this came to be?"

Lightning glanced around the chamber at the gloomy lighting and shadowy corners. She actually hadn't explored all that much of this mysterious place – the chamber around her was foreign to her eyes, free of the scars of war. The two of them had never made it here during their skirmishes, and she had never taken the time between battles to see much of this labyrinth except a few lower levels and the throne room.

"I know it was a place in Valhalla, once the center of a great city long since fallen silent." Her heart tightened, but not from the chaos. "It had been my prison."

"Yours, and Caius's." This girl's voice seemed a little harder than the first's, but still had the melodic touch of ancient tradition on it. "Now, he is trapped here. We had given him the gift of immortality, so that we may be with him forever, but it was not meant to be."

Lightning looked at the girl again. "I thought Etro made him immortal."

"That was how it began." Her eyes turned downcast. "He rejected the gift and sought instead a way to bring about the end of time. Throughout his long journey, some of us tried to stop him, but each time he lost one of us, it only drove him harder and further. Now, we have come to the end."

Confused, Lightning looked all around, expecting him to appear. "The end," she murmured.

"You _must_ save him – from his nightmares, and from us."

Lightning returned her gaze to Yeul. "You're a different Yeul, with a different wish and different desires. Okay, fine, let's say I save him. What then?"

Wisps of chaos came together then, creating a wavering platform that led to the next level of the temple. It curled around in a sort of chaotic corkscrew that bypassed several floors. "What, indeed," Yeul echoed softly. "We can't live forever with him then, can we? And if he chooses to die…" She stopped, fingers flexing; Lightning looked her up and down. "If he dies, we can't be with him. We… had only wished to spend eternity with him, but while it was a desire he shared, the way it was bestowed on him was… not what he wanted."

Lightning snorted softly, an ache passing through her heart at the girl's words. "Not what he wanted" was one of the biggest understatements she had yet heard. Obviously he hadn't _wanted_ it, because he had torn apart the world and sent it spiraling permanently into despair.

And now, the end would come, and if she couldn't drag him away from the chaos, he'd go with it.

She wasn't sure how to feel about that.

"Save the one who cannot rest, and ease his pain, however you can." The girl pleaded, but sounded ashamed at the same time. Her eyes came back up from where they'd rested on the cold stone and landed squarely on Lightning's without wavering. "Go to him, Liberator, and save him from us."

Lightning nodded and continued on her journey.

"_Lightning_! Can… –ear me?"

The woman stopped dead in her tracks and nearly tore the com out of her ear. The burst of static had been _quite_ loud. "I'm fine, Hope, don't panic." She hesitated long enough to turn it down a little. "Couldn't you… _see_ me down here, or is there too much interference?"

"The chaos re–… –ing very high. There's– …from the temple. Can you–"

The line crackled and went dead; Lightning suddenly felt very alone, and a rush of memories flooded her when she looked around again – of crashing blades, broken bones, bruises, blood, and war – _endless war_, something she couldn't forget, _wanted_ to forget, but the scars he had left… not all of them would heal with time.

She would carry them to the new world, where they would remain throughout her days.

A hand went to her sword – she wanted to lift it free and break _something_, suddenly in agony, unable to forget all of what had happened here. The living nightmare. The endless war. The eternal struggle between her determined light and Caius's chaotic shadow. Something that should be nothing more than legend, but she had _lived_ it, and nothing could remove the hurt that still stained her soul.

_You are wasting your time. Leave us before it is too late for someone else_. His voice echoed around her; she clutched at the bloom of chaos and prayed this would be over soon.

At the top of the corkscrew, she found one more girl with air falling to mid-back and pulled out of her face, a little older than the other ones – sixteen, maybe – with serious eyes and a strained expression. Lightning approached her with a degree of wariness, feeling uncomfortable beneath this girl's steady gaze.

"Do you know what we are, Liberator?"

_I have a name_, Lightning almost said. "Only that you are copies of a single person, born from the chaos, and you're the cause of the world's end."

"Of the latter, more than you know." She stretched out her hand; chaos flared from her fingers and wrapped around the woman like tendrils of shadow, making the chaos in her chest flare brighter, and she couldn't breathe, having to close her eyes when it burned them, and then it squeezed her chest, and–

The dark cloud only she could see. Cocoon drenched in shadow. Tendrils of darkness dragging into the earth when it cracked open beneath her. Valhalla's crystal beach.

The darkness – the chaos – gently laying her on the sand where the waves lapped.

"All of the chaos around you? All of _our_ chaos?" The girl hesitated, eyes narrowing. "It is the chaos that came for you and took you from the world. We caused the decay, and broke the dam. We brought Caius's madness upon him, and _we_ ultimately destroyed the world."

Lightning struggled, strained, and fell back, landing on the stone on her hands and knees, somehow having twisted enough while falling to do so. "The Unseen Chaos is _you_?" she spat out, and enough anger – hidden deep, but not gone altogether – came to her eyes to make her glare back at the girl one of blue fire.

"More or less," the girl said, calmly.

"The world is decaying and _dying_, and I got dragged to Valhalla, and the timeline died, and– and all of–" The woman struggled to her feet, reigning in her anger. "It all happened because _you_ couldn't let go of Caius, because you _needed_ to be with him forever?"

Yeul wasted no time before saying, "Yes, Liberator, I _do_ need him. He is _everything_ to me, and I cannot be without him. We gladly returned by Etro's hand because we did not wish to be alone. _I_ could not bear to be alone. We may not be able to touch, or to be together as I would have hoped, but we _are_ together."

Lightning stared at her. "I'm not getting involved."

"Too late," a voice said from behind; Lightning turned to see Lumina leaning against the wall, the girl seemingly having appeared out of nowhere. Lightning snorted softly – did she just appear and disappear at will? "Because you didn't leave when _we_ told you to, you've gone and got yourself in trouble. Now you're in the middle of it. You got dragged into the mess, and now you've gotta help clean it up. Got it?"

Lightning stared at her. "What am I supposed to do?"

"I'm not the one that gave you that task." Lumina ran her fingers through her ponytail, blue eyes serious. It was an unusual expression coming from this girl. Lightning felt cold. "If you want to know how _you_ should fix a problem like this, you better ask _them_."

The woman's eyes roved over the darkness to see shadows in the shape of girls standing all around – on pillars, on broken columns, on evidence of war and strife and pain – and felt her skin crawl. _Hundreds_ of these girls, if not _thousands_ of them, all of them gazing at her, expectantly, waiting for her to fulfill their desires, ease their pain, and set them all free. Waiting for her to be a good little Liberator and free their Guardian from the suffering he had brought upon himself.

And she said, quietly, "Some of you want him to live. Some of you want him to be free. All of you care deeply for him, but you _can't agree_." She spun around, hearing the shadows begin to whisper, feeling her hair stand on end. "Each one of you contradicts the other in some way. You're a _mass_ of contradictions that can't be solved. I can't fix you. I can't fix _any_ of you, and I _know_ I can never fix _him_, not when this is going on."

"But if you save him, you might quiet the chaos," Lumina said.

"Might," Lightning growled, and faced the first girl, who gazed back without emotion. "What do you expect me to do? What do you _want_ from me?"

"We just want him to stop… _suffering_ so much." It was a Yeul to her right, standing by a broken pillar, hugging her arms and looking miserable. "It is all because of us. You are right, Liberator, in what you said, in that we contradict each other. No, we _cannot_ be solved. We cannot be fixed."

"The chaos – our chaos – is all the love we have ever held for him," another of the girls, to the left of Lightning, said when the second one finished. "You _must_ save him from it."

Lightning felt as though she were being pulled in many directions at once, with no one paying any mind to how _she_ might feel about all of this. All that mattered was how these _girls_ felt, because _they_ were holding the world in their hands and crushing the life out of it, and there was nothing she could do in the face of their power.

"But I–" She shifted her weight and looked around. "I might not be able to…"

"Please," the second girl said, "you must at least try."

"For us," the third one said.

Lightning looked to her right. The throne room was now only one level up. "Then, take me to him, and I _will_ try."

The first girl summoned a final set of steps with a wave of her hand and nodded. "Go on, then."

Lightning ignored the stares and made her final steps toward destiny.

* * *

_So, we get into the meat of the story, and things will be more interesting from here on out. I appreciate your favorites and follows, but please be sure to drop reviews as well, as they're the fuel that keeps my fingers flying over this keyboard and the incentive to keep me going. Also, this is one of my larger projects, so expect it to more or less approach the length of Hearts in Chaos. Thanks for reading, and I hope y'all enjoy!_


	4. Nexus

_**3 Nexus**_

She walked into the throne room, hearing echoes of memory all around her, seeing the evidence of her enemy's anger in the missing top half of the temple, exposing her gaze to swirling chaos mingling with murky sunlight so gray and dark that it only barely resembled its true nature. Her steps sounded hollow, scuffing on the stone, and the flutter of her armor sounded incredibly loud in the unbearable silence

Dead ahead, no longer shining with its ethereal silver light, the crystal throne, once the stead of Etro, towered over her, still floating in its abyss.

And atop it, not even looking at her, was Caius.

Lightning stopped in her tracks and clenched her fist around her blade, which she had drawn just outside the throne room. It was the first time she had personally seen him sitting there, but for all she knew, he might have sat there in her absence many times since the world's end. He owned it, she could see, perfectly comfortable in that position of obvious power, not at all disturbed by her presence.

"You are wasting time," was his greeting after a few moments of complete silence. "Are you so stubborn and so desperately seek vindication that you must come here to face me once again?"

She shifted her weight. "Yeul asked me to try."

"She asked you to come here, to this place of bitter memories, to save the one who had caused the death of the world to begin with?" Now he did look at her, but it was so dark that she could only tell from a change in his silhouette. "And you did not reject her request? Your stubbornness has not waned."

She lifted her sword a little, watching it shine dully in the thick shadows shrouding them both. The crushing weight of the chaos he bore like a robe wrapped around him reached her despite the bloom in her chest. "If fulfilling her wish brings her chaos under control, even if only to give me a little more time, then I will do it." Though she spoke in a loud, strong voice, she tried not to shout, despite it being her first instinct upon seeing him.

"Yet she asked you to save me, did she not?"

"She–" Lightning swallowed, left hand briefly touching the bloom of chaos in her chest. While it made it a little difficult to breathe, it didn't otherwise impede her at the moment. "–did."

He rose to his feet. "I refuse."

And he dared mock _her_ stubbornness? "I didn't come here seeking your _permission_," she retorted, raising the blade further to point it directly at him.

He was on the ground and in front of her so fast that only her instincts kept her alive – stumbling back, blade coming up to deflect his sudden strike, the familiar ring of metal on metal making her head ache for a moment. When she got her wits about her again and regained her balance, it was to stare straight down the length of a sword fashioned in the shape of a flare frozen in time, and at the far end was her rival.

"You could have refused her and saved yourself the time."

She swallowed again. "Too late now, isn't it?"

His eyes were hard and cold, practically void of emotion, as though he had drawn everything he was deep inside and closed it off tight where no one else could ever see or find it. "Though she desires my freedom, her contradictive nature may make it… difficult for you to fulfill that." He hesitated a moment after speaking, then withdrew, giving her room to breathe. "Yet, you have come this far. Do your best, hunter of souls, and save me from the evil that has claimed me." Again, he hesitated, and, briefly, a smirk passed across his lips. "If you can."

Was he taunting her, or warning her? Gathering her strength, she bent her knees slightly in her battle stance and looked him right in the eye. Memories of past wars came to her, reminding her of all the tricks he had used in the past. With that knowledge, she had a fair chance to survive.

"My soul is chained by chaos. You will have to take it by force, Liberator."

"That's not going to be a problem."

He reversed his grip on his sword, but didn't look otherwise concerned – not that he ever did, of course. "You may wish to be less hasty with your confidence."

Lightning gritted her teeth. "No more destiny, no more fate," she murmured, and gripped her sword two-handed, angling the blade across her body. "Let's end this _here_, once and for all."

She saw him twitch before he moved, and matched his stride, their blades coming together as one.

The collision blades felt like old times – and yet not, making her head ache more than the first time, and when they met, he overpowered her in an instant, pushing her back, making her stumble and barely manage to keep her feet beneath her. Barely did she have time to look up when she saw a flare of pinkish light coming right at her and ducked again, this time leaping to the side, and stone shattered behind her, sending pieces of it flying up into the air. They clattered around her, some of them landing right on her.

Scrambling away from him when he came after her, she leapt to her feet, turned, and deflected his strike, falling into the rhythm he made, deflecting strikes aimed at her head, her torso, her legs, and her armor's lengths of cloth flew about her, flicking into her peripheral vision, fluttering in the brief moments of silence. For a minute, it was just blades and instinctual footwork, barely staying out of each other's way, the rhythm beginning to feel familiar, and she stepped into the flow easily enough after a few rusty instants, but then he feinted, reversed his grip again, and went right for her legs, and she had to hop back to avoid it and went stumbling over a pile of rubble, landing on her back on the stone, hard enough to knock the wind out of her.

She brought her sword up, and he brought his down, his left hand seizing her wrist and putting enough pressure on the bones to make her wince from the pain… so she returned the favor, applying pressure through the thick armor protecting his bones from her attacks, making his eyes narrow.

With his eyes on hers, she kicked him in the torso; he grunted sharply and landed on his back on the stone.

She summoned some strength and came after him.

And got a nice blast of white fire to the chest for her trouble, clenching her chest in a vise, sending her to ground.

He was on her faster than before; she rolled just enough to avoid the strike.

When she backpedaled away, he sent another blast into a column behind her, causing it to topple, again stopping her in her tracks. He vanished in a wisp of smoke and reappeared behind her, but instead of running her through, he hit her with one elbow, sending her flying, but she rolled with it onto her feet, feeling the fire of war burn through her veins in a familiar flash of heat. She gave him a taste of his fury by sending out several blasts of white fire that exploded on impact; through it, she heard him grunt and hit the stone.

With a warrior's shout, she sprang back into the fray, having blinded him enough to get the upper hand, pounding him with strike after strike, some of them with a blade lit with flame, sparks raining off his sword where she found bits of metal to chip away, superheated and then cooling before they hit the ground. When he sidestepped to dodge a strike, she knocked him back, where he landed against a pillar.

She sprang; he vanished, and she landed where he had been. Whirling in place, she held her shield at the ready, her sword held out, and it was good she did, for when he reappeared, it was for an instant before he vanished again to reappear at her side, and then again, and again, until she decided to pull out some of her own powers and face him with a burst of speed she used to catch him and force him back again.

When she swung her blade, she cracked open a pillar, sending a shower of stone dust through the air, bits of it flying into her face. Huge chunks of stone toppled over; she bolted away from it, and they struck him instead, making him fall back. Seeing an opening, she pressed the attack, but then a whirlwind of fire and shadow stopped her in her tracks, nearly making her fall to her knees as she slashed out.

"_Enough_!" was her snarling reaction to this, and so she struck out with everything she had, both hands gripping her sword as she swung it like a bat in a swift, slightly angled arc in front of her.

Something broke open; she heard him yelp.

For a few instants, everything was dead silent, save for the whispers in the chaos curling about the pillars. Lightning didn't dare do anything more than grit her teeth and point her sword in the general direction of the sound until the smoke cleared and she could see again.

Caius had ended up on the other side of the landing, lying partly facedown in what remained of a pillar he had snapped in half by landing on it. Covered in rubble and dust, he didn't move, twisted into a somewhat unnatural position with half his body trapped under a broken slab of the pillar. His eyes appeared to be closed, but in the gloom, it was difficult to tell even if he were breathing.

Lightning suddenly realized she _was_ breathing, hard, chest heaving, the chaos bloom leaving an ache near her heart that made it a little difficult to focus. Her sword trembled. Some of their wars had paused like this, brief moments of heart-pounding terror, before one of them sprang back to life and continued on with twice the ferocity. If he stood up now, she wasn't entirely sure she would stand a chance against his fury.

Stone scraped and dust puffed into the air; Caius moved, slowly rising to his feet, staggering a little when he made it, blood smeared across one cheek and staining his hair, armor singed and scraped. "Your ferocity has not waned, I can see," he murmured, and had some obvious trouble remaining on his feet. Dark eyes bored into hers, creased a bit in the skin from what seemed to be discomfort. "Though you fight for my soul, it is one you cannot save."

Lightning frowned, still holding her sword up, taking no chances.

His cruel-looking sword hovered in the air; he pitched it straight up, only briefly taking his eyes from hers, and into the swirl of darkness and muddled sunlight it flew, vanishing for an instant. Something twisted his lips, darkened his gaze, and stiffened his stance, and then the sword came back and pinned him to the stone, ripping a pained grunt from him as his body abruptly struck the ground.

She felt a startled gasp tear from her lips, taking a half-step forward. For a moment there was nothing, only his lifeless body slumped over, impaled by his own blade, eyes still open but staring blankly into the chaotic skies. Lightning felt her heart pounding, the bloom of chaos aching a little more, as the darkness swirled around them without ceasing.

Then, with hissing whispers, tendrils came, encircling his body in obvious tenderness. A pale wink of light followed, casting strange shadows.

And then he rose to his feet from a crouched position, the blood gone, everything neat and shiny as though he were a newborn. Even his armor shone in the blue-black gloom that surrounded them. Lightning, wary, stayed back, eyes on his, heart slowing somewhat, refusing to take her gaze from his too-steady one – a gaze that looked ancient now, where once it had raged with hate and fiery determination.

"It is true that Yeul desires my freedom." Caius spoke firmly, without hesitation, and Lightning sensed a bed of coals beneath his words. "All the same, she cannot be without me. She wants you to fulfill her deepest desires, but she is an unsolvable paradox, and her wishes, ultimately, are empty."

Tendrils of darkness still hung around him, though faint now. She stared at them, trying to comprehend. "What are you talking about?"

His eyes flicked to her blade before returning to hers. "Yeul is not a single person, in essence. She is many shards of a person, copies of a girl from the ancient world, and each time she left this world, her memory would merge with the Sea of Chaos, but never truly fade. The chaos became a separate entity over the centuries, and now, it is Yeul – her memories, her dreams, desires, and all the negativity that comes with being… human."

For a moment, he looked down at himself, extending a hand. A tendril of shadow curled around it and whispered words she didn't understand. Lightning glanced around at the grand throne room, feeling echoes of memories ranging from sorrow to pain. Her mild anger still burned inside, though she felt it flicker a little as he spoke.

Then she said, "If she's the essence of the chaos, she _can't_ let you go."

"Did she tell you she could not be alone?"

She nodded stiffly, once.

"She is only a child. She never had the chance to grow up, and centuries of memories cannot replace a mortal lifetime of experiences. She wishes her Guardian to be with her in the darkness to come, so…" The pause was so brief that she nearly missed it. "…her Guardian will do as she wishes."

"Your soul is chained to the darkness now," she murmured. "That's your plan?" Finally, she lowered her sword, letting it hang at her side, getting the impression the man was not an immediate threat to her. "Go headfirst into the darkness and exist for eternity in the chaos after the end of the world?"

Both hands came up, and shadows emanated from his skin and armor. Lightning felt her breath catch slightly and her heart beat cold blood, just once. "I am a shell of what I used to be, a being of chaos, my soul restrained by chains I shaped with my own hands from the shadows," he said, still gazing steadily at her. Beneath that hard stare, she felt very small – a feeling she didn't like at all. "This body will be cast into the Sea of Chaos, and I will be its overseer, a being of darkness and death, who will never see the new world."

She reminded herself that he _had_ brought this fate upon himself, and he deserved it. Everything that had happened – Serah's death, time twisted, the flood of chaos, Noel's nightmare, Snow's sadness, Sazh's solemnity, the impending end of all things – had been brought about by _his_ hand. She knew that no amount of atonement could ever fix it, and nothing could ever make her forgive him. How _could_ she? He had taken _everything_ from _everyone_, and in return, he deserved to have his future stolen from _him_.

She felt a knot in her gut all the same.

"You can't atone by doing that," she muttered. "Even if you spend the rest of eternity behaving perfectly, do you know how many lives you ruined? Do you really think that throwing yourself at the end of the world will give any of us remaining behind any peace?"

The smirk he gave her was brief and bitter, and he glanced to his left, drawing her gaze. She followed it, and saw a girl-shaped bloom of chaos, and another, and another – _dozens_ of them, surrounding the two warriors, the whispers growing louder, but she could still discern no words. Some of them seemed upset, their gazes either meeting hers or fixed on the stone.

One of them, though, stared straight at her, and another, head slightly bowed, she recognized as the second girl she had encountered here.

Lightning stared at the girl with the war paint. "You wanted me to grant _your_ wish. But you still want to be here?"

"I want him free," she said, "but… I want to stay."

Lightning, feeling her chest tighten at the plight of these innocent girls, clenched and unclenched her free hand, eyes downcast. At the same time, she felt a sense of bitterness – their plight meant that Caius could never be saved from the fate he had brought upon himself. But, it didn't matter "He doesn't want to be saved," she said, "and because of that… I can't do anything. I…" A furrow tugged at her brow. "I failed every one of you."

A whisper passed through the assembly; they vanished in a twist of smoke.

"Now, leave us, Liberator." After the whispers and the gentle voice of the girl, Caius's strong voice slashed through the blanket-thick quiet like a blade. "Save those who can still be."

She turned in time to see him vanish as well.

Sitting atop the throne now was a pink-haired girl with a confident smile, chuckling softly in the silence. Lightning stared at her, feeling cheated. She'd wasted her time coming here, wasted her energy fighting him rather than – once _again_ – doing as he had advised. Now, she had fewer precious minutes to spend saving the ones she loved, instead of squandering those minutes on a man she could almost say she hated. So what if he would be lost with the world's end? It didn't matter to her, not when too much else was at stake.

Then she heard something, and looked to her left. A girl, between fifteen and sixteen, stood near the destroyed pillar, her green eyes solemn. "I told him I would see him again," she murmured.

Lightning hesitated. "See who?"

"The…" Her lips moved, forming words, but all that came out was, "…_one_." And then she too vanished, lost on the ethereal breeze like a cobweb caught in a storm, and Lightning was alone with Lumina.

"Well, _she's_ got somethin' to live for," Lumina said. "Guess she loved somebody other than Caius, huh?"

Lightning thought of Noel. "Maybe she did."

There was a lengthy pause; Lightning turned her back to the girl. "So, you can't save everybody after all. At least now you know why you got dragged to Valhalla, and how, and why we all told you not to bother with him. Well, now you've got to make up for lost time. How does it make you feel, not saving him or the Yeuls?"

"I can't save those who don't want to be," Lightning said.

As she walked forward, out of the throne room, Lumina hummed softly to herself, then stopped, letting the silence seep into the woman's bones. "Okay, so you can't save him. We all knew that coming in. Even _you_ kind of knew it in the back of your mind, right? Well, do you think he's a threat anymore?"

She answered truthfully. "No, I don't."

"He _is_ pretty powerful, though," the girl continued. She hummed a moment again. "What do you wanna bet he _let_ you win so you'd stop wasting time on him? The world's full of chaos, and he can control it without any effort at all. Pretty amazing when you think about it, that–"

Lightning stopped at the entrance and half-turned. "Is there something you want to say to me, Lumina?"

Lumina cocked an eyebrow. "He'd make a powerful ally."

The woman's namesake flashed through her blood all the way to her fingertips. She couldn't be saying what she thought the girl was implying. "He won't leave here, and besides, I'm powerful enough. I don't need any help facing whatever gets thrown at me. I can han–"

Lumina laughed, long and loud, and said through it, "_Handle_ it? Look at you, getting pounded by one of those five-ton dragons, and nearly shredded by that chaos beast!" She hopped to the ground and twirled her ponytail around one finger, tilting her head, blue eyes bright. Intelligent. _Mischievous_. "You think you can do everything alone, don't you? Let me put it this way, then: he's powerful, and… do _you_ think he's happy?"

Lightning's brow furrowed. "What are you getting at?"

The girl came closer, blue eyes shining, pink lips smirking. "All you have to do is ask. If he says no, you barely spent a minute on it." The smirk vanished; she shrugged. "If he says yes, you've got somebody to watch your back when things get rough – which, they will," she added, and nodded as she finished. "You haven't seen all the things waiting out there yet. There's far worse things than a couple of chaos beasts and a big red dragon."

The woman thought this over, surprising herself. Bring Caius Ballad, the great Valhallian warrior, along with her on a journey to save the very people he had cursed?

"If I ask," she said, "do you promise to leave me alone to do my job?"

Lumina shrugged. "That's pushing it, but…" She tilted her head. "…for a little bit, sure." With a final nod, she winked out of sight, leaving Lightning completely alone.

In the oppressive silence, she began to feel silly, staring at the swirling darkness with empty eyes and a confused heart. After a few moments, though, she turned away, walking out of the throne room, heading back toward the spiral of light that would eventually return her to the earth outside, where she would rejoin her chocobo companion and go back to doing her job as she had been instructed not very long ago.

Halfway to the spiral, her steps stuttered, and faltered.

In some other future, some other universe, she hadn't cast a thought to it. In some other future, she _had_ thought about it and decided not to go through with it. In some other future, everything went as planned, and the path to the new world went on as normal – no deviation, no blight, no evidence of a stray thought marring her way, and no soldier of chaos at her side. Instead, he was only a bitter memory plaguing her heart that faded with time until he was forgotten in the shadows of the past as though he had never been.

The hands of destiny pulled her onto a new path.

Lightning turned back in a rustle of fabric, brushing past the pillars, returning to the throne room. Her steps echoed, scraping on the stone; she halted in the center, gazing up at the ever-swirling chaos overhead. Some ethereal breeze stirred her hair; she lifted a hand to tuck it out of her face. The sword at her side returned to her back.

She took a breath, and said, "Caius, I need to speak to you."

Silence but for the whispers overhead.

Lightning frowned and spoke louder after wetting her lips with the tip of her tongue. "Caius Ballad, I know you can hear me. I have something I need to ask you."

The breeze scraped the stone; the whispers grew louder, like soft cries of dismay and fear, and a flash of anxiety surged through the air, making her skin prickle. The breeze came again, blowing her hair into her eyes; she tucked it back again, having to use both hands. The shadows thickened, the whispers grew even louder, and then–

"Why do you insist on such a senseless waste of precious time?"

She turned to see him, a vision of shadow and chaos, still gaining solid form from the darkness, tendrils drawing into him as he shaped his body from the gloom.

Facing him, she stopped her lips from trembling. "You're very powerful," she said. "A master of the chaos, still immortal, and with centuries of knowledge. I'm powerful on my own, but not like I should be. I face this ordeal alone." Her voice cracked slightly; she drew breath and continued, "I've already faced several powerful adversaries, but one of them was a beast of pure chaos." Her skin prickled at the memory of glowing eyes and jaws of shadow. "I couldn't kill it, and in the end, I had to turn and run. Without shame, I'll add."

Caius's gaze never wavered. It certainly looked different from before, when they'd had their last war, and his eyes smoldered with the muted burn of coals rather than the solar flares that had dominated them before. "Do you have a reason for drawing my attention from my charge, Liberator?"

Lightning blinked at his demand. "I remember Valhalla. You're a master of chaos and warfare. I can probably do this alone, but…" For a moment, her mind drifted to the boy in the Ark in the sky, wishing he were with her side, but also understanding that he could never be, and she shook her head. "I don't like it, Caius, but Lumina has a point when she says you'd make a powerful ally. Come with me."

His gaze, again, never wavered, but his lips twitched. "The destroyer of the world, accompany the woman chosen to be a guiding light?"

"Well…" She stared, shrugged, and said, "Yes."

"Why would I do such a thing?" His eyes grew stern. "Tell me, Liberator, and quickly. I have more pressing matters than your prattling."

Her teeth snagged the inside of her lip. "I can't save you," she murmured, "and I won't try, but if you want to atone, maybe you shouldn't hand off your mess to somebody else. Maybe you should get your hands dirty again. Maybe there's…" A pause; she swallowed. "…some things in life you just _do_."

Silence. They stared at each other, and neither of them moved, or really so much as breathed, as she sensed herself holding her breath, heart starting to pound. Any moment, and he would tell her to go on her way and fix his mess for him. Any moment, and she could just walk out of here. What reason would he have for going with her? His method of atonement was a bit extreme, but it had _him_ written all over it. It was something he could throw his very existence into, a duty that would rule him for eternity – much as his duty as a Guardian had until this point.

Then he said, "Leave us, and do not return."

Lightning blinked, nodded, and turned away, leaving the throne room, possible futures, a new destiny, and her old enemy, far behind, forever.

As she walked, the bloom of chaos vanished with a breathy sigh.

* * *

The darkness swirled around him as it had since his arrival here. There were no more whispers. For the first time in recent memory, there was silence when he stood in the throne room, alone but for the shadows of the girls' essence all about him, their tender gazes always on him. He stared at the entrance to the throne room, thinking of the woman who had just walked away. She had given him an offer, not to be saved from the darkness – because it could not be done, as he had discovered for himself over the past five centuries – but to help atone for what he had done. It had been a terrible temptation, one he barely resisted.

There could be no salvation for him, but perhaps he could have helped soften the transition to the new world for those whom he had so badly hurt.

Staring into the darkness, after a bit, he smirked, snorted softly, and told himself it was time to go.

But her words lingered, and he remained rooted to the spot in defiance of his will.

_Maybe there's some things in life you just do_.

To be able to leave this temple, feel the sun again, see the stars, _face_ the consequences of his actions, help keep the woman forced to clean up his mess safe… these were all desires of his heart, restrained by the darkness. He could do nothing to change his fate, but he knew what awaited her in the world. He _knew_ the monsters that came at night, the darkness in the hearts of the people, what waited at the end of it all. She _could_ do it alone, but it would be far easier for her to save those whose lives he had ruined with him at her side.

But… he had a purpose _here_, an eternal duty he could not abandon even for a moment. He had tried to leave before, and they had kept him here against his will.

And so, eventually, he had succumbed to their desires. It was no use fighting, no matter what he tried.

More than that, he knew she would eventually reject his presence, much more so his aid.

"She can do this on her own. You know this."

Caius turned enough to see one of the girls, wreathed in shadow, standing a few feet away from him. From the way her hair fell down her back – slightly shorter than the others girls', and with a few small braids behind each ear – he recognized her, instantly, as the one Noel so dearly loved. "Yet I have had to watch the world die for five centuries."

The girl's eyes briefly narrowed, as though in concern. "Now, you have the chance to help."

"What purpose would it serve? Even so, I cannot leave."

"No, for we have kept you here," said another voice, a bit huskier than the first, and a girl formed out of the shadows with piercing green eyes that fixed on him immediately. She was one of the oldest girls clinging to him, the one with the most feeling, the one he remembered as being particularly fond of him in life. "I am not heartless, my Guardian. You will be with us forever after these days are done. Do you wish to help her now?"

He glanced at the other girl. She met his gaze, but her eyes seemed to plead with his. "If I help her, not only can I help those I have wronged, but I may yet ease the burden for you."

"For we, too, have seen the world die." The second girl tilted her head, lips slightly forming a smile. "You would do this for us? Am I still the brightest light in your heart?"

There was no hesitation before he said, "Always. No one could ever take your place in my heart, or even join you."

The first girl whimpered softly; he glanced at her again.

There was silence before a whisper passed through the swirling darkness. A congregation of girl-shaped shadows coalesced around him, almost as far as the eye could see, all whispering, all fluttering in the ethereal breeze. It was a fairly normal occurrence; he kept his gaze on the second girl.

"If you so choose, we will allow you the chance to ease our burden," she said. "There is but one stipulation."

He said, "Whatever you wish of me."

"Each night, when she returns to the Ark, you must return to us for a time. You must be _here_, with us. It will pain us to be apart from you." The emotion in her eyes sharpened. "We will be with you, as we always have been."

"A shadow moves." The first girl spoke. "If you are to accompany her, now is the time."

"A shadow," he echoed.

"A beast of chaos comes for her. Do you truly desire to keep her safe?"

Caius felt his lips part, then hesitated. Was it about keeping her safe, or trying to ease Yeul's burden? The girls had also witnessed the consequences of their chaos infecting the world, and most of them blamed themselves for driving him to the point of destroying time. If he went with Lightning, aiding her on her quest, perhaps they would know peace, and perhaps his own exhausted spirit would know a little of its own in turn.

So, he gathered all his thoughts, feelings, desires, and lost hopes under a single spoken word: "Yes."

The second girl's eyes narrowed slightly, but she said, "Then, go."

With great reluctance, he decided to follow the briefly branching path of the future laid out before him then.

* * *

_Thank you for reading, and please let me know what you think! It gives me the motivation to continue this story... which is intended to be a monstrosity close to the length that "Hearts in Chaos" was, by the way._


	5. Into the Deep

_**4 Into the Deep**_

Lightning strode out into the sunshine, finding it a harsh contrast to the darkness behind her, and began walking across the chasm once more. Her chocobo stood at the far side, plucking insects out of the air, but he stopped and twittered when he spotted her. She managed a small smile in return. The further she walked from that place of death and darkness, the lighter her spirits felt.

"Liberator… Lightning, can you still hear me?"

Her steps stuttered until she stopped, and she looked all around at her darkening surroundings. Wisps of chaos flew past her; she looked back in front of her to find them coalescing into the shape of a girl – the one she knew as the girl Noel had known in his time. Though her eyes were heavy, she still managed a warm expression.

Lightning met her gaze, feeling her own expression soften. "You're the voice I heard in the wilderness, aren't you?"

Yeul nodded once. "I had hoped you would hear me. Many had, and thus a legend was born."

"A legend meant to bring me here, right?"

She nodded again. "Through that legend, you discovered answers to questions of your past." For a moment, her voice, which had been rather stern, softened, as though she were in awe. "You also encountered an old friend, your closest ally. You and he have always been closely bound, and now, more so."

Lightning tipped her head. "Of whom do you speak?"

Now the girl smiled, and her eyes weren't as heavy as they had been. "Your old friend and companion, the one who followed you through the fateful Thirteen Days prior to the fall of Cocoon, and the one who stood with you in the never-ending war that was your existence in Valhalla."

Now she was truly confused. "Who is that?"

Yeul raised a hand toward the bird, and an image shimmered beside him – an image of a towering knight in white armor brandishing a silver double-ended blade in one hand and an elaborate shield upon the other – and the bird trilled and hopped once in place, excitedly flapping his wings. The image flickered, vanished with a wink of white light, and Lightning felt a genuine smile curve her lips.

"Even now, you're beside me, Odin – my dear friend." Of its own accord, one hand reached out toward the bird, as if she could touch him from here. Despite her gratitude at seeing him, though, she couldn't feel much else, not even the exuberance she would have normally felt under only slightly different circumstances, and after a moment, sheer bitterness surged into the emotional void. Though her emotions had been a crutch more than anything else in the past, now she desperately wished she could feel them as she used to. "Thank you."

"Lightning, one last thing."

The woman in question looked back at the girl. "What is it?"

"Odin will not be your sole companion. He will not be the only one to help you. I cannot see the future, but I have hope." Yeul's eyes softened. "A shadow comes. Whatever you do in your journey throughout these final days, I know…" And she vanished, trailing a thin whisper that said, "You will do it well."

Lightning watched her return to the temple and saw a spot of darkness flash across the sky.

Odin warbled softly and stamped a foot.

And then she understood, and shouted, "_Odin_!"

A half-instant later, something plummeted out of the sky, all shadowy tendrils and four glowing eyes in a mass of shadow she guessed to be its head, and landed hard on the bridge, swaying back and forth like a predator scoping its prey. Lightning grunted and stumbled back, grateful the beast had at the very least dropped between her and the temple… but well aware of how fast it could move.

As she reached the solid ground, it raised its head, eyes narrowing, and something opened below the eyes, wide, with the ghostly pinkish outlines of fangs flashing in the darkness.

An unearthly roar broke her concentration as it charged.

Purely on instinct, Lightning clambered onto Odin's back and jabbed her heels into his sides. She no longer had the link she shared in Valhalla with him, unable to command him with her mind, but he knew her well enough to put some distance between her and the snarling beast of darkness, blacking out the sky as it moved. It was the same sort of beast that had threatened her last night, exploding unexpectedly out of a chaos emission in the late evening, one she had been unable to vanquish despite her best efforts. It had only vanished once it had finished making a meal out of some passerby, sucking the chaos right out of them and vanishing as abruptly as it had come.

She charged her sword with icy white light and blasted it toward the creature. It howled, taking a stumbling step to the side, head abruptly bowing. The howl reminded her of stone grinding on stone, a horrifying sound that made her skin crawl and Odin screech in obvious concern, if not borderline terror. Again, she blasted the creature, and the white light pierced its rippling shadowy skin in flares of crystal starbursts.

It was on solid ground a few moments later, and some of its tendrils lashed out toward her. Desperate to stay out of its way, she toppled off Odin's back and onto the grass.

Her sword collided with a tendril; the creature screeched and lashed out again.

Odin looked as though he were feeling completely useless, hopping around and pecking at the tendrils as they ignored him in favor of Lightning. When he snagged a tendril in his beak, though, and pulled, the creature screeched again and yanked him clean off his feet. Gallantly, the bird hung on, flapping his wings, letting go just before he hit the ground to soften the impact with an indignant squawk.

When a tendril reached for her, she twisted and clipped it cleanly in half, where it flopped to the grass. A moment later, it sizzled and vanished.

The four pink eyes bored into her; she charged into the flailing tendrils, avoiding two forepaws with ghostly pink claws that came at her, and leapt straight at the head, bringing her sword down in the same movement. Even with part of the tip lopped off by Lumina's magic tricks, it was still an effective weapon, and it punched through the surface of the monster's head with a fleshy _thunk_, causing it to scream piercingly loud. Tendrils came around, wrapped around her midsection, and squeezed until she couldn't breathe while chaos energy leaked from the wound in its skull with an eerie sort of hissing sound.  
At the very least, the creature couldn't steal her chaos. No, it would just crush the life out of her instead.

Straining, she twisted her sword and lopped off two more tendrils.

Snarling, it opened its mouth, then howled. She gasped for air and swung the blade around, taking a few more tendrils with her. A mass of them suddenly launched themselves at her; she went limp enough to slip through its grip and fell to the ground, rolling with the impact. The beast's forepaw stomped the ground, rattling little stones around her. Odin squawked again.

And then she sensed a too-familiar presence.

The beast was ignoring her, turning to snarl instead at a human-sized figure that had appeared on the bridge. His hands were upheld, fingers gripping the handle of his cruel-looking broadsword where the blade had caught the jaws at just the right angle, holding the head of the creature away from his own.

"_Caius_?" she screamed at him.

He broke his concentration enough to look at her and shout, "Do it!"

Not wanting to bother asking, she sprang up onto the beast, hating the squishy feeling of chaos-flesh underfoot, and slashed her blade right up where the spine would be on a normal animal. As more chaos gushed out into the air and the stink made her wrinkle her nose, Caius suddenly reversed his tactic and shot a wave of pinkish energy from his fingers, knocking the creature over onto its wounded spine.

With a warrior's shout, he lashed out again, more energy colliding with the writhing beast, and she chopped off a few more flapping tendrils before the creature howled, compressed into a dark cloud, and shot into the air, vanishing into the wide blue skies like a ghost. Caius's sword vanished in a flicker of shadow.

Lightning stayed where she was a few moments, down on one knee, hands gripping her sword so tight that she felt the circulation cutting off slightly from the pressure against her bones. Gaping at the Guardian before her, she felt a sense of relief, confusion, and bitterness. What was he _doing_ here? Had he taken her up on her offer, or just come out here in some halfhearted attempt at playing "hero"?

"What's going on?" she demanded upon catching her breath.

Caius looked at her, expression cold and hard; she subconsciously drew back from it. "That was a beast conjured from the depths of the chaos." He moved toward her; she rose to her feet. "Before you ask, it was neither conjured nor directed by either myself or Yeul. It is a force of the chaos's energy field."

Lightning rose to her feet, staring warily at him. Odin twittered and fluffed out his feathers, no doubt remembering what the man had done to _him_ as well.

"So," she said, a little less harshly, "did you change your mind?"

His eyes bored into hers. "Indeed I have."

She blinked. Odin cooed softly.

"You have what you wanted." He stopped moving only when he stood about three feet away. Lightning battled the hundred thousand instincts that screamed at her to prepare to defend herself for the moment he pulled out that sword and attacked her, holding her ground against that which had kept her alive all this time. "Now, shall we be moving?"

She snapped out of her trance. "You'll help me."

Irritation seeped into his words when he said, "You are wasting time _again_."

The instincts died away as she gave a sigh of resignation. "We are going into the Wildlands," she told him. "Hope told me there– oh, Hope." She flicked on her headset. "Hey. Hope, you still there?"

"Lightning!" He sounded so relieved that she immediately felt bad for abandoning him so long. "You're alive!"

"Sorry," she told him. "I couldn't hear you in the temple."

"So you just turned it off?"

"I'm really sorry, Hope," she murmured. "All I heard was static and bits of words."

"No, that's…" She heard him sigh. "That's fine. I'm just glad to know you're safe. You need to stop worrying me like that and be more careful down there."

Her gaze flicked to Caius's. "I'll be fine," she said.

"I see." The boy's voice suddenly sounded thoughtful. "Light, there appears to be a strong chaos reading very close to you. Please, keep your distance from it." He snorted softly. "We don't need you to go stumbling into another nest of chaos beasts like you did last night."

"It's alright, Hope," she said. "I'll keep an eye on it, I promise."

He noticeably hesitated. "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure. I'll be fine."

With a resigned sigh, he cut the line. Lightning switched off the vox functionality and went back to gazing at Caius, feeling unnerved beneath his intense stare. There was something completely new in those eyes that had certainly not been there before, when they had waged war in Valhalla. She didn't like it, but didn't feel a need to dig into it and find out what it was. Caius was to be her ally, but despite him potentially behaving like a servant, she could never forget how powerful he was. He could kill her, easily, and she knew it.

Whether he would use that power, though, she didn't know.

"Where to, then?" he said to her.

Lightning clucked her tongue and whispered her steed's name; he came to her, briefly slinging his head around to give the dark warrior a sidelong glance. "Hope told me he may have found a village hidden away in the wilderness that belongs to a small community of moogles," she said as she swung up onto the bird's back. "If that's the case, then Serah's little companion may yet be alive. I know where it should be."

"And you plan to get through the woods immediately?"

Lightning sighed. "I do, yes."

When Caius said nothing more, she gently squeezed her steed and allowed him to trot away from the shadow of the temple, leaving the warrior behind. As she passed out of sight of him, she shook her head, feeling a twinge of anger well up inside her. The warrior who had decided to become her ally was one who had not only tried to kill _her_, but had destroyed the world, killed her sister, and caused the chaos to invade the hearts of the survivors. Perhaps he had done far more during his time here, manipulating the chaos to suit his needs. He had gotten what he wanted, and no matter what he said in the temple, she had trouble believing the chaos wouldn't–

And then he was in front of her, causing Odin to shriek. Lightning gritted her teeth. "If you're going with me, you can't do things like that," she said through them.

Caius moved aside enough to stand at Odin's shoulder. "It is difficult passage."

"I've seen how the wilderness is," she told him, urging Odin on again. The bird chirped quietly, but did as he was asked. "When the going gets too rough, I'll just have to walk. Where there's a will, there's always a way."

There was a pause. "Do you believe Mog to be in the village?"

For a moment, she wondered how on Pulse he knew the name of her sister's little companion, but pushed that aside the moment she remembered his time-gazing in Valhalla. "If he's there, then he makes another I have to save from the darkness," she told him, uneasily looking over her shoulder at him. He still stood where she had left him, his face and body completely and unnervingly unreadable. Her eyes narrowed. "If you plan to go with me, then walk ahead of me. I'm not turning my back on you."

Odin seemed to share her thoughts, chirping softly and looking carefully at the dark warrior.

Caius said nothing, but did as she asked. Once he was a few steps ahead of her, she urged her mount on again and followed him through the underbrush, feeling the faint echo of fear at the sight of his familiar form making its way ahead of her, waiting for the moment he turned on her.

* * *

The sensation of watching the timeline of the world below from a place where time did not exist was strange; time both passed and remained still here, similar to what he had come to understand of Valhalla from his studies, though as far as he could tell events did not occur out of order here. It had been nearly two hundred years he had waited for the return of the one who would free the exhausted individuals awaiting the world's end. At the same time, it hadn't felt even as long as that, and he wondered why that was.

His eyes wandered to the map, watching Lightning make her way across the wilderness toward what he suspected was a small moogle village. If she moved quickly enough, she could sweep through the village and return to Luxerion by rail with enough time to spare to intervene in the Order's execution.

He wondered why she pursued that spot of chaos he'd picked up.

He could trust her to watch it, but still…

At his sides, his fingers clenched and unclenched, echoes of memory trickling through his blood. To see her so close to something that _could_ be one of those deadly chaos beasts greatly concerned him. She _had_ to succeed in her task, or else the world was lost and the chaos would be allowed to touch any world it pleased. If she lost even a day, that was another harvest of souls that could not–

Hope blinked, staring blankly for a moment. That could not what? The term on his tongue nearly came to his lips, but just as quickly as it had come, it died away.

"Light," he murmured, "please be careful, and move swiftly. Keep your eyes front. I'll be right here."

He exhaled. She was all that mattered, in the end.

"I'll watch the rear."

His voice sounded strange in the silent void around him, broken only by the chirp of his computer terminal every so often, telling him what it had found in the long stretches of silence. Time both ticked by and stood still; she both moved below his feet and had barely left the Ark. It would be unnerving, if he hadn't already been so comfortable with how things operated here. It was though he belonged, right here, and that was fine.

All the same, he didn't like being separated from her, and the gnawing anxiety created by the shadow she pursued only made that sinking feeling worse.

His heart aching a little, he cast a look around the Ark. After fighting across time and space to find her, after being drawn away by the illusion that had also driven him mad, after struggling to find a way to help those still lost to time… he couldn't give up now. And most of all, he could _not_ give _her_ up. When this was over, she would be–

And just like that, the word slipped from his tongue.

She would be… what?

If he'd had the ability, he would have felt a surge of anger at having pieces of reality stolen from his tongue before they could break free, but instead he felt hollow, and around that void danced blissful contentment, determination, and the fringes of a creeping shadow that did not concern him in the least.

* * *

As the sun tracked overhead like an enormous hourglass, taunting her with the passage of time, she allowed her mount to trace the best path toward the ever-growing chaos emission deep within the forest. The rainclouds that had been approaching all day were nearly here; the scent of wet soil seeped into her nostrils, thick as a blanket. Every so often she snuck a glance at Caius, who always remained ahead of her, picking a path aboveground to move unless he crossed a clearing, climbing swiftly through trees and across rocks.

The forest thickened the further in they went, and soon Odin had to pick his way, slowing almost to a crawl at times except for bursts of speed through clearings. It was when they reached a stream, across which the forest developed a sudden carpet of dense undergrowth, and she heard the hunting calls of beasts in the woods, that she decided it was time to move forward on foot and dismounted.

"Stay close," she murmured, gently stroking her steed's feathered forehead. She splashed into the stream, picking her way along rocks only partially submerged.

On the opposite side of the stream, once she stood on dry but soft ground, she stopped, looking around to find that Caius had disappeared, and that she could not sense his presence. A sense of unsettlement came over her; a hand came up to her blade, lifting it off her back, before it moved to hang at her side in a casual battle stance she held before moving cautiously forward, toward the trees. Odin stayed close behind her, silent.

Birds made a racket in the canopy; she passed through a stand of grass, gently parting it with her blade, eyes roving over the path that lay ahead of her. At the same time, every sense stayed on high alert, watching for any flicker of movement – to indicate a monster, or Caius.

He did not give her the impression of being a threat, she had to admit. Not at all. And _that_ was what unsettled her the most. Caius had never been a master of hiding his feelings – quite the opposite; he had always worn them on his sleeve in Valhalla, never bothering with a façade – and yet it seemed he had developed an impenetrable armor that shielded his heart from her powerful senses, until all she sensed was random chaos. He claimed to be aiding her, but while not displaying a threatening demeanor, it _had_ been rather callous. That was fine with her, but it did nothing to shake the feeling that all he was doing was waiting for the right time to betray her.

After all, hadn't he gotten what he wanted?

And yet… with that being said, she still had to wonder. He had also admitted his pain, though in a roundabout way. Was he trying to mislead her, or was there more to what was happening?

"Having fun yet?"

Lightning glanced at Lumina, who had suddenly appeared ahead of her, leaning against a tree. Her lips curved in a mischievous and too-familiar smirk; she frowned at the sight of it. The girl appeared and disappeared at will and seemed to demonstrate an obnoxious ability to be one step ahead of her at all times. How did she do it? And how did the other former l'Cie know her so well? It made her skin prickle with anxiety, the thought of ever discovering what might have happened in the years leading up to her awakening.

And what about the "imposter" Sazh had mentioned, the one responsible for Hope's disappearance? The boy never spoke of the five centuries that had passed, only touching briefly on how he had some trouble remembering all of it and insisting how much it didn't matter what all had happened.

"I don't have time to deal with you. I'm busy." In no mood for idle chatter, the woman overcame her instinct to keep searching the vegetation for the Guardian and made her way up the earthy bank to the tree line. Odin followed close behind her. As she passed Lumina, she pointedly gave the girl the broad side of her shoulder, looking the other way, picking a path through the underbrush. With the softest of wind-like sighs, Lumina vanished again, only to appear right in her path, hands behind her back, still smirking.

"Where did Caius go, huh?" she said, and didn't wait for an answer before saying, "You might want to keep a better eye on him. He might not be much of a threat, but that doesn't mean he's stable. You let him slip too much–"

Lightning shouldered past, shoving the girl aside.

Lumina grunted as she stumbled. "–and you won't have him helping you anymore," she finished flatly. Lightning heard her wink out of existence behind her.

Only once she exited the underbrush and stamped into a small clearing slashed in the trees, thick with the scent of wet earth and soggy bark, that she finally halted and looked all around for her… what was he to her? Not exactly a "companion", not in the traditional sense. Not an "acquaintance"; for all their time in Valhalla, she barely knew him. And not a "comrade", because he had only fought at her side once so far.

"Where did you go?" she said to herself.

And suddenly he was _there_, a few feet away, appearing out of a wisp of shadow and looking right at her. "Not far," he said, and sounded vaguely amused. Lightning instinctively shied back, creating a bit more distance between them as she locked her eyes with his. What an unnerving sight, she decided, seeing his hard, dark eyes staying on her no matter how she moved, his heart completely unreadable, as though he were a corpse.

She shivered. In a way, he _was_ a corpse.

Briefly, her mind wandered, eyes traveling over his hard, powerful body, remembering with an ache in her belly how easily he could thrash her when he really put his mind to it. He may have pledged his reluctant allegiance to her, but how could she know that would hold up?

"If you're going with me, you can't just _disappear_, either." She bit the words; each syllable came at him like venomous snakes. "Stay in my line of sight."

His gaze hardened. "_You_ were the one that requested my presence, Liberator." The amusement was gone, and in its place was the bitter taste of mild hostility. Lightning felt her lips tighten against her teeth and her fingertips twitch. He might be fast, but she could live up to her name. Her crimson sword could come off her back with the quickness of her namesake's strike, and she would do it in a thought.

The thought crossed her mind that he was somehow taunting her, but that thought vanished the moment she really looked into his eyes. Though his heart was closed to her and his true feelings unreadable, she could at least tell that he wasn't playing around in the least.

Her boots struck the moss underfoot hard enough to make muted thumping sounds; her sword came off her back and landed on his throat, the golden edge shimmering in the dappled sunlight – a harsh contrast to the shadows that seemed to cling to every hollow of his skin. Caius's eyes narrowed, but his eyebrows came up, slightly; she hid the smirk that nearly slipped free. So, he could still be caught off guard.

"Listen carefully to me, Caius Ballad," she said, again biting the words, taking care to make his name sound like the nastiest insult she could think of. "You're here because Lumina had a point and because I need your power. You're not here to make friends or help me kick the bucket. I'd rather you didn't return to the temple, but _only_ because _you_ vanquished a beast of chaos where I could not. Get it?"

His lips quirked toward the corner of his mouth. "I understand this situation far better than you ever could."

She pressed the metal into his skin a little. "I told you not to patronize me."

His dark eyes fixed on hers, and he said nothing.

This little standoff went on for a few heartbeats, her sky blue eyes locked tight with his. Odin shifted his weight and twittered softly. Songbirds made a racket some distance away. There was no breeze to stir the trees. Through all of this silence, she never took her eyes from his. It was a battle of wills, and she _dared_ him to remain, _dared_ him to test her patience, _dared_ him to try and crush her will this time, for it was a will of steel, forged by the radiant deity that had called her to its benevolent service.

An understanding seemed to pass between them, and to her faint surprise, his eyes moved from hers, and only then did she withdraw her blade, lowering it to her side. This close to him, she had to tilt her chin up to look at him, but even so, his gaze had fallen off to the side, fixed instead on some spot that didn't concern her.

"Better," she said, softening her tone. "Now, let's go."

He looked at her again, lips pressed into a firm line, but turned away and walked through the brush. Insects flew through the air; flashes of color drew her eye to butterflies flitting from flower to flower. The further they went into the forest, the more fascinating her surroundings became, and soon the tree trunks were covered in a thick green moss and wrapped in flowering vines as thick as her wrist. The heady scent of flowers and soggy earth filled her nostrils. She inhaled it, and it reminded her of Gran Pulse as it was.

After some minutes of walking, she pulled the tiny computer Hope had given her out of her belt and flicked it on. It gave the distance to the swirl of chaos Hope had spoken of as only half a mile, straight ahead.

"Half a mile," she murmured, putting the device away.

This time, Caius said nothing at all. Lightning watched him push through ferns and break branches reaching across their path, feeling her muscles tighten with each sudden movement he made. She chastised herself each time, telling her body _he's not going to do it this time_, but the memory of broken bones and bruised tendons and painful landings refused to leave. No matter how she controlled her mind, her body acted on instinct.

_Move on instinct_, she had said, long ago – a _lifetime_ ago – and now the words came back to haunt her, taking control of her body from her.

She gave a silent snarl at that realization. Her disciplined mind meant nothing when her body still operated under the belief that everything around her had the capability of killing her. After Cocoon's first fall, she had allowed herself to feel safe, though unsettled by the realization that there were no more wars to fight, and far too soon afterward, that feeling had been taken from her. Perhaps it was all nothing more than an artifact of a bygone age.

When this was all over and she set foot in the new world, she could relax for real.

Until then, she would just have to work harder.

"Stop." Caius's voice slashed into her thoughts with an ease she briefly hated, yanking her from her reminiscing and bringing her to reality, where she found herself standing before a mass of vines of varying colors, hung with flowers as big as her palm. "I believe we have arrived," he continued, and looked expectantly at her.

Lightning lifted the sword off her back, the tip easing into the chaotic greenery. About a third of the way in, she used it to push the vines aside and caught a glimpse of violet light beyond. "Looks that way." She nodded, looking sidelong at him. "After you."

Caius didn't return her nod, only staring at her for a moment before pushing through the vines into the valley formed from vegetation and stone beyond.

* * *

_So, a couple of quick notes here. First note: the chaos beasts were conceived by myself way back when the game was first announced, about the time when the developers started discussing the Cie (translated as "chaos infusions" in the final game) and ultra-powerful beasts that came from the Cie (now known to be regular monsters with higher stats). I decided to keep the concept for this story. Their appearance most closely resembles clouds of chaos with partial form, and their current design is influenced by the alien spirits of FINAL FANTASY: THE SPIRITS WITHIN and the Mimics from the film EDGE OF TOMORROW._

_Other note: the title of the chapter comes from an episode of ONCE UPON A TIME. For some reason, it really stuck in my mind and I didn't come up with another in time for this chapter's release, so... there we are! __Thanks for reading, and do let me know what you think!_


	6. Light in the Dark

_**5 Light in the Dark**_

Caius stepped into the cool darkness beyond the vines, his movements causing puffs of flowery perfume to surround him on all sides. With one elbow, he hoisted a heavy, thickly-flowered limb out of his way, stepped over a root, and ducked under a glowing red flower being visited by a pair of pink butterflies. A few steps later, he found himself out in a clearing. The Liberator came through the brush behind him, making soft sounds as she dodged branches.

"They must be somewhere ahead. Am I correct?"

He felt something apply pressure to his back and scowled at the sensation. She knew how to make it clear she didn't want any nonsense from him. "You are. Keep moving."

Feeling bitterness well up at the hard and cold nature of her tone, he kept moving forward, hearing her feathered companion also come tromping through the brush like a great fluffy menace. Part of him felt amusement at the idea of the great and powerful Odin being reduced to a chocobo. Bringing his mind back to that briefly chased away the aching void gnawing at what was left of his heart.

The racket of songbirds had been reduced to the thrum of insects and cooing of doves. In the darkness all around, he saw more of the great red flowers with their golden tendrils extended and waving about. Butterflies flitted all around in flickers of pink. He sensed her begin to calm; he risked a look back to see that her gaze had drifted to take in her surroundings, her expression faintly colored with wonder. That sensation also reached him, sweeping through his limbs, for he had not seen Gran Pulse's beauty in so many centuries and felt pleased to know that even the chaos had not been able to dull it.

And it was good, too, because the last time he had been surrounded by such magnificence, he had not been in nearly the right mind to appreciate any of it.

The further they walked, the more dreamlike the landscape became, the shadows around him thick with flowers, the canopy overhead sparkling with the light of golden fireflies winking silently in the dark, and ahead, a violet glow began to spread, steadily, growing brighter and brighter as they approached. He thought he heard the tinkling of a moogle's bobble somewhere off to his right, but when he looked, there was nothing he could see, so he reached out with his senses instead, using the chaos prickling all around him to extend himself, seeing how far he could go into the forest. The dense underbrush was filled with pockets of void, where no chaos could touch at all, but he _did_ find a few creatures in the darkness. Maybe they were moogles.

"There's so many trees," he heard the Liberator mutter. "Good thing there's so many glowing things around here, or I'd be blind." She sighed softly. "I can't even tell it's daytime."

He looked up into the canopy. Sure enough, it was so thick that absolutely no sunlight came through.

"Hey, what–" He heard her grunt softly. "That must be it."

He peered into the darkness at a soothing pinkish-violet glow about twenty feet into the thick brush. A few steps brought him close enough to realize there was a clearing beyond and about four squat, pinkish-purple houses that looked an awful lot like squat moogles. Behind him, he heard his companion step over a root, kick a rock, and then go climbing over another obstacle before she nudged him aside with the broken end of her sword. Caius resisted the urge to make a show of shoving it away, instead obediently moving toward the rock cliff.

His shoulder scraped the porous face; the Liberator moved past him toward a natural staircase surrounded by flowers, taking swift steps up toward the glowing houses.

He hesitated, then followed her, keeping pace, occasionally leaning slightly to the left to get around branches heavy with flowers. It was the first time since leaving the temple grounds that she had walked in front of him, and he had no desire to make it the last, keeping a respectful distance behind her but never straying far. It would be hard to lose him, anyway, as the surreal glow from all around lit him up like a star.

The woman approached a pair of small, rotund, white-furred creatures, dropping pink sparkles as though it were, as the saying went, "going out of style". One of them, the rounder of the two, waved its staff, using it to gesture about, making the soft hooting sounds its species was known for.

"Are you busy?" She stood behind them, a hand on her hip; he couldn't help but trace the line formed by her arm and the muscle it sported and frowned slightly.

"Very busy, kupo!" The round creature waved the staff at her behind its shoulder without even looking.

The woman tilted her head. "Must be important," she muttered.

The pair went on hooting and burbling to each other; Caius moved closer, mostly to get away from the powerful and vaguely citrusy scent of the blue flowers to his left, and stopped a few feet behind the Liberator, keeping one eye on her and the other on the thickly shadowed woods that surrounded them.

He heard her snort softly, but it seemed to bear a twinge of amusement. "You can't look away for two seconds?"

The first moogle abruptly faced her. "No, no, kupo, very–"

It gave a strange little gasping sound and seemed to freeze in midair. For a few seconds, there was silence but for the twitter of insects. Caius felt himself instinctively bristle beneath the armor, though he checked himself. There was no reason to be concerned about a mere little moogle.

"_It's her_!" The creature cried out with a shrill voice that hardly matched its round appearance. As the sound died off into the trees, the echo swallowed by the glowing vegetation, suddenly there were a dozen more of the strange little beings, appearing like fireflies at dusk, all making bemused hooting sounds that quickly turned ecstatic. There were a hundred different cries of the woman's title.

It was then her eyes widened almost comically.

"Now, no, wait, don't be–" Her demands ended in a surprised grunt as every moogle in the village flung itself at her, covering her in a coat of wriggling white fur. Her arms flailing somewhere in that white mass, and she took a quick step back; her heel snagged on a branch and she fell hard onto her rear end with a _thud_. The moogles kept on making their hooting sounds; she growled somewhere beneath it all, but he caught a softening of her expression, lips just barely forming a half-smile, as she raised a hand and patted one of them on the head.

It was then he realized that this was the closest to a real smile he had ever seen out of her that wasn't anywhere near a smirk, and it was all because of these small beings.

Suddenly hesitant, Caius took a step back, closer to the shadows, into the glow of the red flowers, as bright and fierce as fire. Moogles lived in another realm. They never ventured to the world of humans. For them to be here–

Bitterness welled up, but he clamped it down without a thought.

"We're so glad you came!" one of them – female, from the voice – chattered excitedly into the rose-haired woman's ear. Her bobble gave off waves of sparkling energy to punctuate her words. "There's monsters in the woods that try to eat us poor moogles, kupo! Don't let them do it, kupo!"

The woman brought her legs under her, heaving herself to her feet. "What monsters?"

"Tree-monsters, kupo." The rotund one spoke, sounding very authoritative. "They come to munch-munch us." He ended his sentence with a very nonthreatening growl.

The Liberator nodded once. Her hair sifted across her shoulder, catching the sheen of the flowers, making it seem as though she glowed with fire. Caius glanced around, thinking he had a clear shot out if he wanted to leave. No one was looking at him, and he suspected the moogles hadn't even noticed his presence. They were transfixed by the Liberator with the hair of fire – he could go back to the temple, right now, and…

Against his will, he felt his brow furrow.

And what? Turn his back on her _now_, when she had already reluctantly requested his help? Now, when he had been able to banish a being of pure chaos where she could only hold her own? _Now_, when Yeul suffered in her cage of darkness, when her soul could be lifted and brightened by the work he wrought here? No, he realized, feeling his determination harden, he could not return just yet. Tonight, he would go back and be with them. For now, he had to stay, had to take the punishment, because he had earned it, and he deserved it.

When these days were over, he would be with them forever, anyway.

"–the ruckus, kupo?"

Caius snapped out of his thoughts to see a new face appear from the shadows. The frown deepened as a prick of familiarity tingled in his blood at the sight.

The rose-haired woman turned, hair shimmering, armor shining a thousand colorful hues, with a rustle of the robes at her sides, her eyes turned upon the newcomer. The white-furred creature left a trail of pinkish sparkles in its wake as it approached her. It was thinner than the others, but bore the beginnings of what could easily become a pudge in its belly, and wore a shimmering gold and crimson crown on its head. The other moogles, at the sight, quieted at once and huddled together. One of them whispered "it's the leader"; for a moment afterward, they hooted in hushed voices, all of them facing the newcomer, the shower of sparkles greatly lessened.

The woman remained where she was, shoulders back and spine straight as a pillar of stone, saying nothing, hair still shimmering, but the way the flowers lit her made her look as if she were wreathed in flame.

Odin fluffed out his feathers and cooed.

The newcomer moogle stopped, and suddenly he felt a surge of recognition. The pang of bitterness returned; again he grabbed it and shoved it back down to whence it had come.

"Liberator?" the moogle squawked. "L– Lib– Li– _Lightning_?"

The creature gave a cry, and he fled the way he had come. Caius remained rooted to the spot, though the woman went after the moogle, despite the pang of guilt that demanded he go after her. After all, was he not here to help her? Suppose she found trouble in the darkness– but no, he told himself, silencing those thoughts immediately. The only trouble she would find here would be him, as anything else she could handle without a problem.

The woman extended a hand, raking her fingers through the air, but they closed around emptiness as he vanished into the shadows. "_Mog_!"

The woman raced after the moogle, half-springing over a tree root jutting out of the earth. There were a few moments where he remained where he was before some undeniable force – probably guilt, not at all helped by his own indomitable stubbornness – pulled him along an invisible path she had laid with her own two feet, and he followed her, unheeded, but took great care to stay a few steps behind, cloaked in darkness.

* * *

Lightning approached the cowering, whimpering creature before her with slow, careful steps, deafened by the thick moss and glowing green lichen underfoot. She felt a need to be cautious, to not scare him, and a complete lack of desire to move any faster than she needed to. She kept her hands open, fingers relaxed, palms out, painting as sure a picture of her nonthreatening presence as she could under the circumstances. Mog – her dear sister's companion, the brave and determined creature, whose heart had always been strong even as he were crushed underfoot – cowered in the corner near a tree wrapped in bell-shaped white flowers than made soft sounds on the breeze.

"Mog," she tried again, as gently as she could manage, and felt the shell of her heart go out to him. "Mog, please, look at me. I'm not–" She hesitated and bit her lip. "Mog, please."

"M– Mog?" His fur glowed in the light of the flowers as he retreated further, pressing himself into the plants.

Trusting her instincts, she stopped a few steps away. "Yeah, Mog. I know it's you."

"N– no, you've got the wrong moogle, kupo."

Lightning felt something squeeze her insides at the sound of his voice. It sounded so _meek_, and _small_, and she had to wonder what could possibly have happened to break him so. "Hey, Mog, it's– it's okay," she murmured. "I know I look scary with all this armor, but… I won't hurt you. I'm not here to– to _do_ anything." For a moment, her hand twitched, as though itching to smooth the sharp edges on her armor. She hadn't chosen the aesthetic, and if she had, she never would have gone with something so sinister. "Please look at me?"

Hearing something rustle behind her, she glanced over her shoulder. The warm feelings chilled as she felt her face harden at the sight of the man in black. The flowers didn't light his face well, leaving most of it in shadow.

Breathing deep as she returned her gaze to Mog, she tried again. "Mog, look at me."

The moogle shook his head. "Mog can't do it, kupo."

"You can't do what? Turn around?"

"No… no, Mog can't– I can't–" The pregnant pause made her skin prickle. "I can't look Lightning in the eye, kupo. Mog failed the mission he'd been sent out on. I _failed_ to protect Serah, kupo." Lightning heard his already thin voice crack slightly at the mention of her precious sister's name; she blinked at the pang of hurt that surged through her blood and made her chest tighten.

At the same time, a fresh wellspring of anger, sour as bile, came to her as she remembered Caius's presence.

The dark warrior had done _all_ of this.

"No, Mog, it wasn't your fault." _It was Caius's fault, he killed Serah_, she wanted to say, but held the words back, thinking it the wrong time to speak them. "It was partly mine, for sending her out on the journey to begin with, but by no means was it _your_ fault." Pause; she stepped forward, extending a hand. "Mog, for my sake, please just look at me. Come on," she added in a smaller voice when he still refused. "Please? Mog…" An unexpected pinprick of feeling flitted through the void, startling her, but she hung onto it, savored it.

The silence was broken by the pattering of rain, heavily muffled, somewhere on the canopy's sky-facing side, and the continued buzz of insects. The air seemed to grow thicker, humid, and her skin prickled. There was electricity in the air. A storm approached, probably the one she'd spotted before going into the forest.

At last, Mog turned, easing away from the vegetation. His tiny paws fiddled with one another. "Mog is so sorry, kupo." His voice was tiny and hesitant. "Mog couldn't protect Lightning's sister."

"_No_." Lightning spoke forcefully and took a step forward. "Mog, look at me. _Look at me_, please."

He did, tipping his head back, and waited.

"You didn't get Serah killed. It wasn't your fault, at _all_. Don't you dare start thinking it is. _You_ were in no way even partly responsible for her death. I was, far more than you were." The words came tumbling out in a rush, and she felt her chest tighten slightly. "You protected her and cared about her. It's because of you and Noel that she made it as far as did, and she's never gonna blame you, got that?"

"Wh… what do you mean, kupo? Serah's gone, kupo. She's never coming back."

"Actually, she is. I'm seeing to it personally."

Mog gave a quiet "kupo-kupo" and raised his bobble a little. "Serah's alive?"

"Not… exactly." Lightning frowned, running a hand through her hair as she hesitated. "But she will be, as long as I keep doing what Bhunivelze asks. If I save enough people, once this world ends, she'll be returned to us, and the sorrows of the past can finally be undone." Something stabbed her heart – or, at least, the void it had left behind long ago – as her mind flicked to the man standing somewhere behind her. "C'mon. I need you to look after all of these moogles, and I'll need you there when Serah comes."

Mog's wings beat faster, pink sparkles raining from his twinkling bobble.

"She'll need a friendly face besides mine and… Snow's." _If I can save him in time_. "So, can you do that? Promise me you'll be there to greet her. Okay?"_ In case I can't be_.

There was a moment of silence as Lightning gazed expectantly at him, waiting to see what he would do. If Mog gave in to his sorrow, his imagined guilt, and his acquired weakness of heart, the little one would be lost, and she would only have the ability to stand idly by, watching as he suffered and the chaos overtook him at the end of the world. No, he _had_ to find what he had been and all that he could be. This was one being in particular who could not be lost – she remembered him, small and weak, his white fur so starkly contrasted against Valhalla's gloom, as he joined her in a ferocious game of rock-paper-scissors, knowing full well he couldn't beat her in strength, so he counted on his will instead to overcome her.

He lost, but she had smiled and chosen to bend the rules of Valhalla, assigning him an important duty: to be Serah's sword as Noel was her shield.

Even then, she had known the most likely finale. She had hoped desperately for a peaceful resolution, that Serah and Noel would be able to fix the timeline, but even before reality's bitterness and Caius's hateful eyes etched the truth on her heart, she had known she would never go home again. She had _known_ that as long as Caius was alive, she had to remain in Valhalla to protect Etro and the entire timeline. Into the tiny, silly-looking creature, she had poured all of her hopes and wishes, knowing that since he could not return to his fellow moogles, if Serah and Noel succeeded, he could stay with her in her sister's stead as Lightning continued the endless fight.

No, Mog had to live. This strange little creature with his silly wings and absurd bobble _had_ to live, because he had always been so much more than a simple companion.

He had been with Serah in her last moments, as she had taken her dying breath, as Noel had cried over her lifeless body. If _anyone_ did not deserve to be swallowed up by the chaos, never to know happiness again, it was this little one and his innocence that defied the shadows in the approaching dusk.

"Then…" Mog sounded stronger now. "…you forgive me, kupo?"

"There's nothing to forgive, Mog."

He hesitated again, and his head turned slightly. Lightning felt her skin prickle, knowing that he had seen the man cloaked in darkness, whose burden of chaos felt oppressive, weighing on her, something she could neither dismiss nor ignore. Did even those incapable of sensing chaos as she did feel the weight of his presence and power?

The little one said, "Kupo?"

Lightning looked over her shoulder to see Caius looking back at her, face unreadable. "He won't hurt you anymore," she assured Mog, bringing her gaze back to him. "He's with me now."

She could tell from how his paws fiddled together and a ripple passed through his snowy fur that he didn't like the man's presence, or at least was put under a strong sense of unease by it. "Mog understands. Mog will… he will be there for Serah, kupo, and he'll be the best he can be." There was a moment of obvious hesitation before he abruptly flew forward, squeaking out her name, and she raised a hand on instinct, stopping him at arm's length with her palm on his forehead, as he grumbled and jabbered in midair.

"That's better," she said, and managed the tiniest of smiles. It couldn't be imbued with the feeling she desperately wished to provide, but it could look real, and that was enough for her. "That's more like the Mog I know. Now, stay and watch over the other moogles," she added, giving a gentle push to emphasize her point, and turned away. "I have to keep moving for now, but I might come back later. Will you be alright?"

"Uh… um…" She heard his bobble make a tinkling sound. "Mog will be fine! I'll protect this village like– like it was–" He made a hooting sound – moogle laughter? "Like it was a big, shiny pile of gil… oh! And the best fruits and greens in the whole forest! The Liberator has Mog's promise!"

Lightning felt her smile become slightly more genuine. "I'm glad to hear it, Mog."

That smile, however, vanished the moment she laid eyes on the dark warrior standing near the flowers, the light edging his features in a hard red light, reflecting faintly in his eyes. Casting her gaze away from his, she looked at the ground instead, watching the green lichen briefly glow brighter each time her boot met the moss, and picked her way over the roots standing above the earth.

"Will Lightning be okay out there?"

She stopped midstride and looked back over her shoulder at Mog. Caius stood maybe a foot from her left shoulder, looking at her, expectant, like a servant waiting respectfully in his corner to be called upon, while Mog came out of the shadows and floated toward the squat houses. Unsure how to respond, she merely gave a small shrug and a tiny flash of a smile, and returned to Odin to bury her fingers in his feathers. The warmth radiating from the skin below calmed her nerves; she briefly rested her head on her comrade's strong shoulder.

The patter of rain filled the silence; she looked back at Caius, who still hadn't moved. "We're leaving," she told him firmly, and jerked her head. "Take point."

The armor reflected the flowers' light in various shades and hues, dull or shiny, highlighting every nick and dent in the ancient metal, as he obeyed, moving to blaze the trail ahead of her. Lightning let her gaze rove over his back, taking note of the strange writing across his shoulders – writing she had always known was there, but had never really been able to _look_ at before – and felt her brow knit as she tried to puzzle it out. It was in the ancient alphabet she had seen in Valhalla, a script she had seen in various places in Poltae near the temple.

Perhaps the professor there could translate it.

Maybe, though, it wasn't worth it, especially when her curiosity just wasn't high enough.

"Where are we to go now?" Caius's voice pierced her thoughts, making her wonder just how he managed to pull her away from her wonderings so easily, returning her gaze to him. He still moved forward, never looking back, his stride stout and purposeful.

"I need to burn some time before tonight," she said. "The Heretics in Luxerion are going to attempt to make another sacrifice in the wee hours. For now…" Letting herself trail off, she thought about where to go next. She had no news to bring to Sazh as of yet. Snow's palace probably wasn't on high alert anymore, but showing her face in Yusnaan wasn't the brightest idea. She had made her rounds at Canopus Farms, investigated both ends of the expanse that made up the Wildlands, and already run into Noel in Luxerion.

That left the desert that made up the world's western continent, but Lightning balked at the idea of dealing with the hot sands and bitter heat. No, it was better to go at night, where the air cooled and the sands stopped blowing, to see what it was that drew so many to its empty expanse.

What wandered into her mind was the "imposter" Sazh had mentioned. Hope had never brought her up, but the fact that Sazh had shown such distrust at first told her all she needed to know.

Whatever the "imposter" was, it was worth investigating.

And the Order might know something.

"There's something I need to find out," she said at last. "We're going to Luxerion. You might like it there," she added dryly. "It's gloomy and full of chaos, kind of like that temple." She pretended not to see the stiffening of his shoulders as she spoke. "The Order would probably like you. It's because you killed Etro that their god woke up and started building a new world. The same one that I serve now, in fact."

"Is he, now." It certainly wasn't a question.

"Yes. I serve Bhunivelze, and I'm here because he woke me out of the crystal. I might not like the Order all much, but they seem peaceful enough, and they might have some understanding of some… things that are going on in this world." She hesitated, then said, "I also have unfinished business with Noel."

Caius suddenly faced her, stopping dead. "Noel is here?"

Suddenly uneasy all over again, she gripped Odin's feathers while he tittered in his throat. There was something fierce in Caius's eyes now, something that made her skin crawl and hair stand on end. Maybe it wasn't a good idea having him around, she started to think, but kicked those thoughts aside just as fast as they had come. Luxerion had been chaos central during the previous night. She would need his skill to keep more people from being devoured by the beasts that prowled the streets.

"He's in Luxerion, yes, and he's a little bit… well…" Feeling an emotion flash through her eyes, surprising her, but only for a moment, she raised her chin slightly. "He's different now. There's a heavy burden on his heart, and– hey," she said as he turned his back to her. "What, losing your spine _now_, Ballad?"

He whirled on her fast enough to make her gasp and stumble back, hand instinctively fumbling for her sword.

"And do not patronize _me_," he snarled at her.

Lightning swallowed, forcing her body and mind to obey. She still had to force her hand back to her side. "Never mind, then," she muttered, feeling her brow knit.

He waited a moment longer, the anger still roiling in his dark eyes, before it died out and he turned away, back as straight as an arrow and shoulders squared. Lightning gritted her teeth, feeling her lips peel back for a moment, as she questioned the logic of bringing this monster with her. It _had_ been Lumina's idea, after all. Still, it only took her remembering how he had dispatched the chaos beast to continue onward.

It wasn't worth losing more human lives to the monsters just because she decided she didn't like his pettiness.

After all, it wasn't as though he would suddenly turn on her.

She sighed quietly. No, he would just frighten and anger her instead, and make her wish the benefit to having him around didn't outweigh the bitter memories the sight of him still brought back to her.

* * *

_I apologize for how long it took to get this out! I've been playing through "Lightning Returns" and am nearly finished, and it's such a time sink that I kind of neglected this story. Anyway, please let me know what you think, and I hope you enjoy! I'll do my best to get the next chapter out within 2-3 weeks._


	7. The Age of Chaos

_**6 The Age of Chaos**_

The train to Luxerion took ten minutes to arrive at the Wildlands and another forty to reach the city; by that time, the sun was sinking below the horizon, and Lightning stepped off into the station alone. Caius had vanished once they were within sight of the Wildlands station, telling her he would meet her in the city. He hadn't given her a chance to respond, but she suspected that the last thing he wanted to do was spend time in a train surrounded by people, metal, and glass. A man like him needed to be surrounded by open sky, not closed up in a box.

Or, that was what she had gathered from his increasing reluctance as they had approached and how quickly he had stolen away once he had come close enough for his liking.

She moved aside to allow other travelers to get past her and turned an ear to the announcer, rattling off the arrivals and departures for the next four hours and thanking the "attentive and hardworking" staff for their "continued dedication to the rhythm of the divine city".

An amused smile flitted across her lips as she listened.

As she strode out into the plaza, she glanced at the clock perched on an ornate post to her right. It told her the time was six-fifteen – late enough for the shadows to become long and dark. The number of people making their rounds had begun to dwindle, leaving a few clerics and passerby who seemed eager to get away from the deepening gloom. Eventually, she knew, the lights around the city would begin to dim until only a surreal glow was left to light the paths of those who still worked in the wee hours.

Lightning sensed her unusual companion's presence moments before she saw him appear from a wisp of darkness to her right and fall in step as though he had been there all along. He said nothing by way of greeting, only giving her a look and _maybe_ a tiny nod, and she hesitated, looking him over.

Caius was a tall man, at least as tall as Snow, and his armor bore nicks and scratches from untold centuries of wear and tear. Even in the dusk light, his hair – the texture sleek but slightly coarse, she could see – shone dully, telling her that either his body was indeed real, or a brilliant imitation of it. The energy radiating from him almost made her wince – he was _powerful_, the chaos giving him as much power as it had in Valhalla and far more now that he was part of it, and the only thing restraining it were the girls forced to remain in the temple.

She wondered what could have possessed them to allow him to go with her. Then again, perhaps he hadn't been waiting here the whole time, but gone back to the temple to wait for her arrival in Luxerion. Maybe it was enough that he returned to visit them every so often. Besides, after that, they would have him forever.

"What is next to do?" he said, cleanly cutting into her thoughts.

She blinked, pulling herself back together. "I must confront the Heretics in the graveyard, and face Noel and find out why he wants to kill me." She didn't miss Caius's faint curiosity, but didn't bother to elaborate. "Tonight, the chaos will come again. It comes every night. We must stop those beasts before they cause too much havoc." Sighing, she tilted her head and met his eyes. "And by 'us', I mostly mean 'you'."

"Of course." His dark eyes never wavered.

Lightning shivered under that intense gaze, fighting back the bad memories that threatened to overwhelm her. The only way they could make this a successful "partnership" was if they could both ignore their pasts long enough to finish out the days. At the end, Caius Ballad and his darkness would descend into the chaos, and she would never gaze upon his hateful visage again.

A ghostly flicker of emotion passed through her and twisted in her gut at how she had to strain a bit to use those words. Only his eyes and the ancient memories clinging to her bones made them flow once she battled past the doubts creeping into her mind. She didn't have the ability to hate, she realized. She remembered how it felt, but it was impossible to be consumed as she used to be. Rather, when she looked at him, she remembered how bitter his voice had been and how he had seemed so–

_Stop that_, she demanded of herself, brusquely turning away, hearing him step closer. This man was responsible for the state of the world and the suffering of everyone in it. No matter how sincere he seemed to be in his burdens, she could never forget what he had done.

It could be her undoing.

"A friend of mine has a son, who has been lost to the chaos. According to Lumina, his soul isn't in his body." Her voice was completely emotionless, as though she were giving the time of day. "He's in a deep sleep. I want to know if the Order knows anything about what happened to him."

Caius was silent a moment. "What makes you believe they would know anything?"

It took a moment to realize he was actually asking the question and looking for an honest answer. "Because they follow Bhunivelze, my master, who is creating the new world we will go to live on," she said. "It's said Bhunivelze can see neither souls nor chaos, but the Order have made some studies into the nature of both. I think if anyone can tell me anything about what's going on with that boy, it'll be someone with them."

"Why do you follow Bhunivelze?"

"Because he has my sister," she answered simply. "He promised to restore her to life if I will become his Liberator and lead all of the people here out of their cages of darkness into the glorious light."

He grunted softly. "She is a chess piece, then, in his game."

"His promise was clear, and I hold him to it."

"By now, we should know that these 'gods' cannot be trusted."

"He can restore my sister to life, and I will be able to lead all of these suffering people to a new world. Is that not worth bending once again to the might of something far more powerful than I?" During their small conversation, they had walked about a block, and now she stopped and looked carefully at him. "Serah is precious to me. She is everything to me and the only person I will ever love. She deserves to go, and I can't just let her vanish."

For a moment, his eyes seemed to soften. "I believe you."

Unsettled by the change in demeanor, but not sure why, she moved away again. The cathedral's spires rose into the darkening heavens; she directed her feet toward them, ignoring the stares from the passerby, knowing they were curious not only about her, who bore the same color hair as the victims of the Heretics, but also no doubt curious about the heavily burdened and tall dark warrior in step behind her.

_Behind her_. Lightning sighed and stopped dead; Caius stopped about two feet behind her and to her right.

"Take point," she said, and gestured ahead.

Caius said nothing and did as he was told; this time, Lightning could not ignore the way his shoulders seemed to lose some of their stoutness, though his spine remained straight as her broken sword. It puzzled her, and the truth of his behavior seemed on the tip of her tongue, but would not come any further than that.

"Where to?" His voice was completely emotionless.

Lightning briefly wondered if him walking in front of her really made that much sense. She had already come to the conclusion that he wasn't really a threat – at least, not right now – and he couldn't exactly read her mind. Besides, if he'd wanted to do something to her, wouldn't he have done so already? The logic filled her mind, layering upon itself until she had no more ability to doubt beyond her own stubbornness.

"Well…" Bracing against the instincts battling her feet, screaming at her to stay _far_ away, she moved up beside him and caught a flicker of surprise on his face. "The cathedral is the center of everything. If anyone in the Order knows what to do about the boy, they'll either be there, or I can be pointed to them."

"I see," he said. He fell in step a foot or two behind her, close enough that she would be able to sense if he made any sudden moves, but not close enough to invade her space.

"So, what made you do this?"

There was a pause. "What made me do what?"

"Help me." Lightning glanced over her shoulder at him. "You don't hit me as the type who would do something like this. Wouldn't you prefer to stay with Yeul?"

She heard him snort softly. "Remain in those empty halls, existing without a purpose? Hardly."

"That doesn't answer my question."

"You are a charge, as Yeul was, and I also have the opportunity to ease her burden by assisting you. As far as I am concerned, accompanying you is not much different from protecting her." He hesitated, then said, "Except that you are far more capable of protecting yourself from this world's dangers than she."

She hummed softly, neither agreeing nor disagreeing. "So, you've got an ulterior motive: easing Yeul's burden."

"And perhaps extending the world's life by doing so."

She knew that, even as she gathered energy to breathe more life into Yggdrasil, anything helped. "If her chaos doesn't chip away at the world if you're out here helping, fine with me."

They made their way into a shadowy passage surrounded by concrete walls, though gaps in the stone provided glimpses of the sea beyond. She had yet to see the edge of the world with her own eyes, having not gotten close enough to the edge of any continent yet, but she had heard stories of an endless sea of chaos pouring into a clouded abyss, which was all that remained of the globe that had once been Gran Pulse tracking endlessly around its sun through the infinite cosmos. Would the universe die with Gran Pulse? Would the millions of stars in the sky also be devoured by the chaos when it all came to an end?

She thought of the possibility that other worlds circled those stars, that other civilizations lived and breathed out there somewhere, and that if the universe died, they too would suffer because of Caius's sins. Because she couldn't reach them, she couldn't save any of them. They would become inhabitants of the land of chaos that would come into being once Gran Pulse finally died.

How many times had this cycle occurred? Valhalla had been a city once. Had it too once been a world devoured by chaos, closely followed by a "new" one?

A twinge of bitterness passed through her, familiar on her tongue. No, she could never forget what Caius had done, for it truly _could_ be her undoing. Uneasily looking over her shoulder at him again, she saw him looking thoughtful, but nonetheless focused. Caius had always been easy to read, at least for her – angry, bitter, hateful, spiteful, or in a fit of rage after she found him collapsed on his knees and crying, only to lash out at her hard enough that she often wondered if she would survive the onslaught. To find him impossible to read, then, was nerve-wracking. There was no betrayal of thought or emotion in his stony expression, purposeful gait, and impossibly deep and dark eyes that she felt she would lose herself in if she stared for too long. No part of her wanted to find out where they led. All she could rely on was what came out of his mouth and the actions he took from here on.

And that was the most unnerving truth of all.

Beyond what remained of a wharf, rust-eaten and covered in barnacles and moss, was a small courtyard bathed in dusky shadows, ringed with blooming shrubbery. Fireflies winked in the air above the leaves. A lamppost wrought in a silvered metal spilled light across the courtyard. Two great gates of ornate iron stood between her and the grand cathedral beyond. A sentry stood at the edge of the lamp's light, a glimmer in the area of his head being the only way she could tell he was watching the two of them.

Lightning kept her gaze fixed ahead and passed through an archway into a smaller courtyard, more lengthwise in shape than the other. A fountain tinkled in the center, and around the intricately carved stone grew a ring of purple flowers. Golden centers glowed faintly.

"They sealed the gates," she muttered, groaning. While she'd heard that the gates were only open for a certain amount of time each day, she hadn't thought they would close this early. "Well, so much for getting in today," she added in more of a grumble than before.

Caius was gazing at the top of the wall. "There are always ways, Liberator."

Lightning caught the suggestive undertone in his voice. "Oh, no you don't," she said, sternly enough to bring his eyes back to her. "You and I are plenty powerful enough to break down this wall, sure, but I don't feel like causing a commotion. As for climbing over it, that's out of the question, too."

He tilted his head, the reflection of light on his hair shifting with the movement. "Not intending to disturb the peace this time around, are we?"

She opened her mouth to ask what he meant before thinking of the thirteen days of the Purge and how she and the others had roused so much chaos. No doubt that was what he was referring to. "No," she said. "It's not worth it. We can find another way." As she spoke, she glanced around at the impenetrable walls. The iron gates were the only immediately visible entrance, but off in the corner, behind a pair of flowering shrubs– "There," she said, nodding toward it. "That seems to be a service entrance of some kind."

She walked up to it and tried the handle, but it was locked tight, and the door was made of metal too stout to try and force open. A card reader blinked on the wall to the right.

She stepped back, lowering her hand from the handle. "If we can get a badge, this could be the way in for us."

"Is that so?" Caius sounded stiff. "You expect me to accompany you?"

Feeling irritation burn inside her, she faced him and placed both hands on her hips. "I do. The Order might even like you for awakening their deity, so it's not as if you'd be unwelcome. Besides, if I run into trouble, I need someone to watch my back. You know the deal we made."

"I doubt a chaos beast is going to erupt in the middle of their 'cathedral of holy light'."

"The brightest light casts the darkest shadow."

Caius's eyes seemed to darken further as he dipped his chin. "I shall wait until your return."

Lightning frowned slightly. "You mean you'll go back to Yeul until I'm done in the cathedral."

There was a long pause. "It _is_ where I belong."

"If that's where you _belong_, then why not just stay there?" Her voice, having begun to warm toward normal, turned back into ice.

"I have explained the reasons to you already," was his equally cold response. "If you are unable to understand after the rationalization I have already provided, then another certainly will not satisfy you."

She bristled. "I told you not to patronize me. Just because–"

Something moved in the corner of her eye; in a flash, she had her hand on her sword and faced it. Caius, too, had shifted into a ready stance. It took a moment for her eyes to adjust, but once they did, she realized there was a small human shape standing in the shadows, dimly lit by the city lights. It was a young woman in the gray-and-black outfit of a cleric, hands folded, brown eyes wide, mouth pinched closed.

Lightning stared at her for a minute. Then, slowly, she released the sword and relaxed her shoulders and hips. "Can I help you?" she said gently.

The woman's eyes darted between her and Caius, mouth opening and closing. "Ah, eh, well, I just– I heard raised voices and wanted to know what was… if anything was wrong." The words tumbled out as though they fell on top of one another in their rush to escape, and she stopped rather suddenly.

"No, nothing is wrong," Lightning said, soothingly. "He and I were merely having a… disagreement."

"Oh." The woman looked less anxious now. "Forgive my intrusion, then."

Lightning exchanged a look with Caius, who looked uncomfortable, but at least he was still around. "Actually, you might be able to help us," she said, looking back at the other woman. "We're trying to get into the cathedral to speak to your superiors there. We need assistance with a matter regarding a soul." When her eyes widened slightly, she breathed deep and continued. "The gates are closed, but there's that service entrance. Can you help us– me?" she said quickly, remembering what Caius had said.

"The service entrance?" She sounded thoughtful. "It must be important. You are the Liberator, aren't you?"

Lightning blinked. "Yes, I am. Word gets around the Order, I see."

"No other woman has rose-colored hair and carries the crimson blade and shield as you do," she pointed out. "Nor does she bear the blessed armor of Bhunivelze about her." Her voice bore a twinge of awe, reflected in her eyes, that did not leave even when she looked back a Caius. "And who is your companion? The Liberator was never spoken to have a companion but for the star of hope in the sky."

Lightning wondered who on Pulse could've written this fancy prophecy of theirs. "This is Caius," she said. On a hunch, she added, "He is responsible for the awakening of Bhunivelze."

The woman's mouth dropped open again. "He is the Destroyer? The slayer of the evil goddess Etro?"

Caius looked even more uncomfortable when Lightning glanced at him. "Indeed," she said. "Well, primarily. The Shadow Hunter was another part of Etro's end."

"I never thought I would see the Liberator. And to see her _and_ the Destroyer…" A gasp escaped her as she bowed at the waist, deeply, hands clasped to her chest. This lasted a few seconds before she lifted her head again and said, "Forgive my rudeness, I am Aremiah. I am a neophyte in the Order."

"Aremiah," Lightning repeated. "I am Lightning."

"A powerful name for the one chosen to save us from the chaos." Aremiah still sounded in awe when she spoke. Part of Lightning felt the urge to shake sense into her and drag her out of the hero worship, but she let it go, despite how it made her feel inside. She understood Caius's lack of comfort with the situation – neither of them had gotten these "exalted" titles by choice – but it could prove to their advantage, _if_ she played her cards right.

"The service entrance, Aremiah."

"Oh! Yes, of course. I have a key, but…" She trailed off. The expression of awe melted away into worry. "If you are the Liberator, perhaps you can help me. I have been ever so worried since the saint lost a crystal precious to her." Lines appeared near her eyes. "The Lady Vanille has searched for it in vain. I too have been unable to find it."

Something flickered in Lightning's heartless void. "Did you say Vanille?"

Aremiah seemed briefly confused. "Well, yes. The crystal is said to give her the ability to watch over the last of her family, who left her side almost thirteen years ago. She lost her only link to the Lady Fang."

At the sound of another familiar name, Lightning took a step closer. "Did she go out and leave it somewhere?"

Aremiah looked shocked. "The Lady Vanille is not allowed to leave the cathedral, so it is impossible for her to have left it anywhere but inside its walls."

"Really." Lightning looked over her shoulder at the glittering stone façade staring down at her. "So, you keep your precious 'saint' locked up like some sort of animal, is that it?" Ignoring the woman's gasp, she folded her arms as she returned her gaze to the woman's. "So, if she can't get out, then someone would've had to take it from _her_. Who else has access to her?"

"Only the clerics." Aremiah sounded insulted, but Lightning figured she dare not backtalk the Liberator. "If you are insinuating that one of _them_ took it, you are very wrong."

"Then who else could have?" Lightning shook her head. "It could've have gotten far. How long has it been gone?"

"Since this morning." She sighed. "Since the supply shipment left."

"And where do the empty boxes go?"

"To the warehouse district." Aremiah looked stricken. "This is my fault. The stone disappeared under my watch, and I should have kept a closer eye on it. Oh, please, will you find it for me? Only then can I rest. Only when I see it whole and well will I be able to beg the Lady Vanille's forgiveness."

"I doubt that's necessary. If she's anything like I remember, she won't pin a spot of blame on you."

"You… you knew her? Personally? Was that…" Aremiah took a breath. "…before the Age of Chaos?"

"Yes," she said, "long before."

The other woman's eyes slipped out of focus for a moment. "I was born before the chaos came, almost twenty years before, but I can't remember any of it. I think there was a city, and a moon on a pillar of crystal, but it all seems so far away. Like I'm remembering someone else's story from years ago."

"Maybe it's for the best," Lightning said. "The time when the chaos came is hardly something you'd want to recall."

She sighed. "Maybe you're right. After all, you _are_ the Liberator."

Lightning shook her head slightly. "I'll investigate the warehouse district and see if I can find anything. When I get back with that crystal – and I _will_ – I'm fully expecting you to hand over that key." To emphasize the seriousness of her words, she placed both hands on her hips, squared her shoulders, and frowned. It was a frightening expression, she knew, and it seemed to work, if the woman – closer to a girl, if she had only been born a mere twenty years prior to the Age of Chaos – abruptly straightening and looking all business were any indication.

Once Lightning left the courtyard, Caius said, "Vanille, is it?"

She didn't look at him as she said, "Yeah. Who knows why they're keeping her locked up in there, but I'm guessing I'll find out once I'm inside."

They made their way north now, following a route called "Pilgrim's Passage" to a gate barring access to the Warren and cut to the left through a cramped commercial district. The number of glances had increased since the last time she had come through here, she saw. Most people either knew what her role was or were simply curious because of her somewhat unusual appearance, but now she was accompanied by a tall, stern-faced warrior in black armor who exuded a sense of incredible power that even those unable to sense chaos could no doubt feel.

"Caius," she hissed at one point, "don't look so severe."

She never looked to find out if he had done as she asked, but at least the stares and nervous looks seemed to lessen once she'd spoken. She herself made sure to keep her expression relaxed, despite allowing her gaze to dart around as she kept a careful eye out for chaos emissions. Once the sun sank, the chaos began to move underfoot, and at times it ripped through the earth and pierced the sky. When that happened, nightmares followed and people died. Now that she had a powerful weapon at her side, she wasn't about to be as helpless as the previous night.

"When we're done here, I need to return to the Ark for a brief period."

"I will await your return in the temple."

Exasperated, she looked at him now, and he frowned back at her. "Didn't I just–"

"Yeul and I made an agreement," he told her. "Every night, when you returned to the Ark, I would return to _her_ for a period of time. That was her lone condition to allow me to accompany you."

There was a pregnant pause. "You're uncomfortable with this."

He stared at her. "How did you guess?"

A sigh escaped her. He told her what she asked and little else. "Look, if it's _that_ painful for you to remain at my side, then go back," she muttered. "I don't have time for your pettiness. I've got a job to do." Ignoring the stare of someone trying very hard to hide his interest to the left, she laid a hand on her hip and scowled. "If I need you, I'll call for you. Will that work out better?"

His expression didn't change. "You are sending me back to the temple, in spite of our agreement?"

"I didn't mean to keep you as a slave."

He kept standing there. Lightning began to wonder if he'd even heard her. "Our agreement is that I will accompany you. That does not entail allowing me to return anytime I wish, Liberator."

She groaned and turned her back. "You're impossible."

It was then she heard a piercing scream, accompanied by the sound of stone shattering in the distance. Lightning felt her eyes go wide, and she turned in the direction of the sound. Something settled in the pit of her stomach, cold and heavy, as she saw the wisps of darkness dancing in the sky. She was moving toward it, quick as thought, before she knew it, racing toward a pillar of shadow that surged with such energy that she suddenly struggled to breathe.

It was right in the midst of the warehouses.

_Oh, no_. Her sword came off her back and she charged into the emission, shield at the ready, stopping only when she was close to the center. A quick look around told her Caius was not here, but even with the chaos pressing down on her all around, she sensed his unique presence prickling somewhere behind her.

"Right on schedule, as always, being your reckless altruistic self."

Lightning briefly bared her teeth. "Lumina?"

The girl formed out of the shadows, hands clasped behind her back, blue eyes glittering, pink lips smirking. "This is a pretty nasty emission, don't you think? It's bigger than the one last night…" She trailed off and tipped her head, lifting an eyebrow. "Though, of course _you_ can't tell. But they are getting bigger each night."

The smirk got a little bigger.

"Just like those ones cropping up all over Yusnaan."

"What do you want? I've got no time for your games!" Lightning's eyes darted back and forth, and finally she saw Caius, though little more than a shadow in the shape of a man, the brassy checkered patterns of the emission flowing over and around him with the same sense of tenderness she had seen from Yeul's chaos in the temple. Did the girl's reach extend even here? Had even the wild chaos, the natural phenomenon of this planet, come under the rule of her painfully emotional and deeply longing heart?

"Caius is in his element, isn't he? He looks like he belongs here. Oh, wait…" Lumina giggled. "He _does_! Oh, this is just too precious. Caius of the chaos and Lightning of the light. How poetically ironic!"

Lightning felt a spike of power to her left. "What's your–"

"He might want to help a little, but I wouldn't turn my back on him. He _is_ under Yeul's direction, and that girl sure doesn't want to let him go." Lumina bent at the waist. "And besides, he _did_ get what he wanted, right?"

The girl vanished, and in her place appeared a quartet of glowing pink eyes, all glaring directly at her.

Lightning gasped and brought her sword up.

The beast bashed her with one forepaw, sending her skidding across the pavement, and turned away. A pair of onlookers, screaming in terror, suddenly fell to the stone, wisps of darkness leaving their bodies to be devoured by the ghostly pink fangs beneath the eyes. Her head throbbing, vision blurring, she climbed unsteadily to her feet and stumbled forward, twirling her sword to lop off a flailing tentacle.

A flare of pink energy appeared in the darkness, casting hard shadows, and crashed into its head. It squealed and hopped back; Caius, looking a little more familiar now, though still trailing chaos, used his sword to cut cleanly into a forepaw, the limb dropping to the ground and vanishing with a sigh.

The roar of chaos filled her ears; Lightning gasped and chopped off another tentacle, then brought her shield up just as the creature slammed a forelimb into it.

The onlookers panicked and ran in all directions, as far away from the raging beast as they could, as the ghostly fangs snapped at the air and Caius sent another powerful surge of energy into its side. It yelped, but still bore down on her, though she locked her elbows and pushed back with all her might. It was _powerful_, far more than the chaos-infused feral beasts she'd encountered during the day, reeking of chaos, blacking out her surroundings until all she could see were its fangs and eyes, tentacles whipping around and trying to grab hold.

She twisted and swung her sword, severing a pair of tentacles and causing them to vanish in shadowy wisps, but she could not turn back fast enough before it smashed its head into her shield.

She dimly heard Caius's familiar shout through the roar of darkness before a powerful blast sent the beast toppling over on its side, limbs pawing at the air, its "blood" leaving its body in spurts of black that turned to smoke. The roar having lessened, she climbed to her feet, infused her broken sword with a brilliant flare of energy, aimed for a crack glowing pink in its forehead, and slammed her blade into it. Using all her strength, she tore it straight down, cleanly ripping open a hole in its "skull", from which spurted liquid chaos.

The creature screamed, scrabbling wildly for purchase on the stone, and she felt it close its jaws around her blade as she tried to pull back. Seizing it tight, it began to pull; she settled back on her heels, trying to calculate the seconds she had left in her elbows and shoulders before she either found an opening or it ripped her limbs off.

_This isn't good_, she thought distantly.

Moments later, its cries silenced, the pull suddenly gone. It became a fountain in reverse, the shadows rushing back into the cracked earth, and suddenly there was silence again. Caius stood where its torso had been, prying his sword from where it had punched into the stone, looking sidelong at her without expression.

Lightning felt her chest aching and said nothing.

Caius wriggled the sword free and held it up. It vanished in a flicker of pale light. "Are you at all injured?" he said.

She climbed to her feet and blinked at him.

Still emotionless, he turned away to face the bodies left behind by the beast. Lightning took a breath and moved over to them. One look told her all she needed to know: they were utterly lifeless.

Something dark and unpleasant slunk through her blood. "Is this what you meant to happen? People rotting away in the chaos, unable to find any sort of hope, losing their minds, their lives, their dreams, all because you and Yeul just couldn't bear losing each other?" Feeling her face harden, she looked at him. His profile was as unreadable as ever. "Tell me. Was it worth the suffering of millions of innocent people?"

He did not respond, and no expression crossed his features.

She snorted and turned toward the warehouses. "Fine. Forget I asked. Let's get that crystal."

* * *

_If this feels a bit like filler, in a way it is, but there's some important bits here. I wanted to establish that the "Destroyer" is also a thing with the Order, for example. It seems reasonable, since they adore Bhunivelze and Caius is primarily responsible for his awakening. Also, I'm leading into visiting Vanille, and I plan to put what I hope to be a unique twist on the meeting with her, which I've already begun working on as the next chapter. Thanks for reading, and please continue to provide comments and constructive criticism for me! I appreciate every last one of you taking the time to do that. :)_


	8. Sealed in Darkness

_**7 Sealed in Darkness**_

Inside the cathedral of light, the shadows had fallen thickly across the beautifully polished stone and the angelic statues staring down from two corners. Images of death and rebirth, heavily stylized, gazed blankly at the checkered floor and bore into her with unseeing stone eyes. The clerics had long left for their evening rituals and rest, but the lone woman in the center of the huge ceremonial hall could not rest. Her bare feet made no sound on the cool stone, the raw silk tresses falling about her slender form whispering faintly as she moved. She was the brightest spot of color at the moment, all sunset hues and warm jewel tones, pacing endlessly across the colorless hall with her hands constantly roving over each other.

When she stopped, it was only because she had paced for what felt like hours, and her feet were cold and sore from all of the walking. She pressed her palms to her stomach, a half-whimper escaping her, gray-green eyes darting all around at her sterile surroundings. This was nothing like her home's fields of color and flowers, and whatever hope she had held within herself had been stolen away long ago by these walls.

She sighed, absently tugging at the ornate veil that surrounded her head and covered her brilliant red hair. Long hours greeting people of all kinds who came to be blessed by her had left her tired, and the constant pressure of the chained-up chaos behind her made her body ache for bed, but she could not rest.

If she rested, the dreams would come.

Oerba Dia Vanille swallowed and felt herself tense at the memory of the dreams. Once upon a time, she'd had Fang to comfort her when the nightmares came and she cried for the parents and family they had lost, but Fang was not here to protect her anymore. Ever since the days of leaving Oerba, she'd had to hold herself up mostly on her own. And now, she was here, basking in bitter memories of lost hopes.

Vanille whirled on one of the great statues in an uncharacteristic show of bitterness, glaring up at it, wishing she could break it apart by sheer force of will.

The clerics told her this was a place of safety, of peace, but it stank of death and chaos. There was no rest for her here, not even when she had clutched her crystal with her and wept bitter tears. Maybe everyone who came through here could not feel the chaos as she could, and maybe even the clerics did not know how hard it pushed down on her and threatened to crush her under its powerful and oppressive weight. If she didn't keep her mind under control, into its wild winds her thoughts would be swept, and her nightmares would worsen.

She turned to see the cathedral guards standing in each corner, impassive, unmoving. They never moved except if they felt her in danger. They were unobtrusive, and most days she could ignore them, but in the silence that always fell at night, their presence reminded her of the Order's gilded cage.

And she could not just send them away. Though most everyone here did as she asked without question, the guards were the exception. Their lone duty was to protect her.

Vanille never had any privacy here. Only her bedchamber and private bath had no eyes to watch her, but there were guards outside the door and beneath every window. She was pampered beyond belief, worshipped by the people in the city, guarded as though she were the most precious jewel, waited on hand and foot, and all of it was far more humiliating than being thrown out naked in the streets to scrounge on garbage and compete with the dogs for any scrap of kindness a passing stranger _might_ hand out.

She often wished she _had_ just been thrown out. At least then she could go to the Warren and vanish, be alone with her thoughts and guilt, and never stand out. Being so revered for something she didn't ask for and a fate that made her bones turn to ice when she thought of it, despite knowing she deserved it, only made her feel more caged than she already did, but she never complained, because it was a just punishment.

She longed to be free, to feel the grass between her toes and smell blooming flowers on the air, but that was a desire that would be, now and forever, denied to her.  
Again she paced, but she was growing bored, and her body groggily begged for sleep. At the thought of lying down in that bed of flaxen silk and pure-white cotton, letting her head rest on a pillow soft as a cloud, she froze up, fearing what the night would bring. No amount of comfort from the clerics could drive away the fear.

She hadn't found her friends and had lost her only family.

And the one person she longed to see had disappeared from this world long ago, never to be found.

At the memory, she felt tears tingle behind her eyes, but blinked them away and drew a breath. It was time to let go of the past and let rest a future she would never see. This had to be done.

Her bones pleaded for rest; she turned toward the silvered door with its ornate carvings of a large tree spreading its blooming branches across the sky, its roots sunk deep into the earth. The crest of Bhunivelze was positioned atop the tree. A great crowd of people prostrated themselves at the tree's base.

Vanille cringed back. It led to her private chambers, but it stank of death, and the images made her skin crawl and a sinking feeling creep through the pit of her stomach.

As she started toward it, a commotion from behind stopped her, and she craned her neck, peering across the pews at the great double doors at the far end. They were sealed for the night, but a service door cut into one of them gave those with a keycard in their hands access to the sanctum after hours. The only person she could think immediately who would need to venture in would be Aremiah and felt her breath snag. Had she found the crystal?

The four guards bordering the vaulted doors crowded in on a slender figure dressed in flowing white robes. It was too far away to see, but all the same, it made her sigh. Another cleric, it seemed, here to prattle on with boring lectures about the unworthiness of those touched by chaos to exist in the new world and how precious she was above all other beings, how _she_ was special and _she_ would save everyone from their sorrows.

She could recite all that from memory. It was important, but she'd been told it hundreds of times over the past years that she had begun to shut it out from boredom and fear.

The guards abruptly parted, though reluctantly returning to their posts, and the figure in white walked toward her. She frowned – something about that purposeful gait was distinctly _not_ clerical. Rather, it had the stride of a warrior, the grace of someone well used to handling a sword, faintly marred by the slight stiffness that accompanied those who had been fighting for a long, long time.

Recognition struck her like a bolt of electricity, but she still held her tongue, at least until the cathedral's faint glow reflected on hair the color of a young rose and she could see the individual– the _woman _ clearly.

"Lightning? Is that you?" she breathed.

When she was only a short distance away, the woman smiled, faintly. It didn't look entirely real, as though she were merely putting it on as one puts on a piece of clothing, but for the moment, Vanille didn't care. Silk billowing out behind her from the speed of her step, she came forward to meet Lightning and clasped a hand in both of hers. It was gloved, snug inside a strong but butter-soft leather, and definitely belonged to her.

"I can't believe it!" Even having been one of those _knowing_ Lightning had merely been lost to the chaos and taken to another realm, she still couldn't believe her friend was standing there.

"Vanille, it's good to see you." Lightning spoke somewhat stiffly, with a sense of formality; Vanille felt no response from the woman's hand and released it, unease filtering through her blood. "You look just I remember you, all those years ago. Though…" Her brow furrowed. "…your eyes are gray now."

Vanille self-consciously touched her fingertips to the skin just beneath her left eye. "Seems that way."

Lightning looked her up and down. Her eyes were the same pure blue, but they seemed… empty, as though her life had been partially sucked out of her. Was it a side effect of spending so much time fighting in Valhalla? An effect of having to witness her sister's death, the world end, and sleep in crystal for so long? It shouldn't be a surprise to see that some of the woman's fierce, proud spirit had been chipped away, and yet… it didn't seem right.

Vanille felt a bit as though she were gazing at a doll.

"How did you find me?" she asked, but didn't get any further before she felt Lightning press something hard and cool into her hands. She looked down to see the familiar rainbow hues of the crystal shard there now and closed her fingers around it. The nightmares would still come, but she had some comfort now. Where Fang once watched over her, now she watched over Fang in that dangerous desert.

"I am the Liberator now," Lightning said, without inflection. "I heard you were here and came to see if, maybe, I could find a way to free you from the chaos."

Vanille frowned slightly. "You save people from the chaos, right? Of course you'd want to save a comrade, too."

"Ever since I woke up, I'd been hoping I'd find everyone."

"Well, you found me. That's better than I did when I first woke up." She turned away, mostly to hide her expression as it crumbled slightly, and clutched the crystal tighter. "I searched everywhere, but once the Order got wind that I could hear people trapped in the chaos, I haven't been able to leave." Ignoring Lightning's soft gasp, she shook her head. "Sazh is off in the wilds with his son, and Fang's in the Dead Dunes. Snow is in Yusnaan, locked up inside his palace. And Hope…" Something stung her heart; she battled it back and went on. "Hope hasn't been seen for almost two centuries. No one knows where he is."

There was a pause before Lightning said, "I can assure you Sazh and Dajh are safe. Snow is also safe, for now. And Hope is very much alive. He's inside the Ark, helping me."

Vanille half-turned, feeling her eyes widen. "Then that phantom _didn't_ get him."

Lightning's brow knit. "I keep hearing of this 'phantom', or 'imposter', someone responsible for dragging Hope away from the people. Apparently, she looked like me. What's that about? And what is this about you being able to hear those who have been trapped inside the chaos?"

"She was…" Vanille hesitated. How could she explain something that not even the bright minds of Academia had been able to decipher? "…some sort of being that looked like you, and she drove the scientists to madness from their curiosity. Then, one day, from what I heard, Hope just up and left, on her trail, never to be seen again." She felt a twinge, an ache, in her heart, echoing her shock when she had heard the story herself, years ago. Hope had never seemed like the type to just leave, let alone fall into madness, and yet, something had plucked him from normality and sent him toppling over some invisible line between darkness and light.

"It looked like… me?" Lightning looked confused. "How is that–" Then she shook her head. "No, I'll ask Hope about it later. Please continue."

"And as for the chaos, well…" Vanille reached into a pocket inside her waist to tuck the crystal into it. Its weight felt reassuring. "It may be better just to show you. You see, there is a massive emission of chaos over here– no, it's fine!" she added quickly when Lightning's eyes widened and her body seemed to stiffen. "It's been there, building up, for centuries already. If it hasn't gone anywhere yet, it probably won't ever, not until the end of the world." She tilted her head. "Would you like to see?"

The warrior's eyes fixed on hers. "You're cooped up in here with a _chaos emission_?"

"Yes." Vanille winced and placed a hand on her breastbone. "It makes it hard to sleep. The pressure of it upon me is enormous. I can feel it all the time, and I can feel when chaos emissions erupt elsewhere in the city, though they are far more faint than this one is. But I must be here. It is my duty."

"They keep you locked up like a prisoner."

"I am a prisoner," she said, and smiled sadly, "but you will understand."

Vanille moved toward a door on the right that led the labyrinthine corridors, at the end of which was the atrium in which the final rites to quiet those trapped in the mass would be performed. With a small bit of effort, she swung the heavy brass doors wide and descended the steps. Lightning came right behind her. Neither spoke for a time, until the door swung back on its own, closing with a _snick_.

She heard Lightning pause, briefly, on her way down the steps. "You've been alone since Fang left?"

Vanille grasped the front of her skirts so she wouldn't step on them. Though they made her feel even more like a well-kept prisoner, they were luxurious and beautiful, and tearing them would be an insult to the craftsmanship that had gone into creating them. Besides, the porous stone felt good against her feet, a pleasant change from the sanded, checkered marble of the sanctum above them.

"Actually, no. Lumina keeps me company, though she comes and goes." She sighed. "You must know Lumina by now; everyone in Luxerion does. She's a prankster and a bit obnoxious, but even she gets lonely, and so she comes here and keeps me company." A cool breeze smelling of chaos met her nostrils. They were close now. "She's just a child, and children need time with others, just like any adult would."

Lightning said nothing until they had reached the sanctum. Though lamps glowing blue had been arranged around the raised central dais, their glow turned surreal and fog-like as the whispering chaos circled the room. Four statues of stylized angelic beings held out staffs and gazed at the ceiling with peaceful faces. Vanille ignored all of it and climbed to the top of the dais, finally releasing her skirts.

"This is all chaos?" Lightning sounded nervous and yet in awe when she spoke; Vanille looked at her to see her standing with her head tipped back, the blue glow making her look like she'd stepped out of a watercolor painting as the chaos slightly distorted her outline. "It's…" Grunting softly, she laid a hand on her chest, atop a silver emblem in the shape of Bhunivelze's "everlasting crystal" crest – befitting his chosen Liberator, of course. "It's painful. How do you cope with it, every day and night?"

Vanille raised her hands. The chaos flowed around her fingers like the waters of a river. "Because at the end of the world, I will be here to free these people." She took a deep breath and began to paraphrase that which the clerics had told her so often. "These are tainted individuals swallowed by chaos emissions or chaos beasts, their lives torn from their bodies, unable to live or die, instead existing in a state of perpetual agony."

"Up until the world ends, of course." A third voice joined them, and Lumina materialized, flashing Vanille a quick smile as she came closer. "Look at all these people, Lightning. Look at them, and feel them. Can you feel the weight of their burdens, crushing you until you can't breathe?"

Lightning visibly winced and again clutched at the emblem. "Good thing they want to stay here, because this emission is incredibly dense. If it ever got out, I wouldn't be surprised if it just flat destroyed the world from how much bound-up energy there is in here."

"Then you understand why I must do this?" _You see why I have to die_, she wanted to say, but refrained from letting the words go free. Lightning would only try to stop her, and it would devolve into endless drama that was not even close to being necessary this near to the world's end. She would find out when it happened, when her lifeless body struck the floor and there was nothing anyone could do for her anymore. "After all that I have done, I can't just let them rot away into nothing. You feel how terrible it is."

Lightning looked at her. "How long has this been building up, exactly?"

"Since…" Vanille frowned, one hand toying with her skirt. "Since the start of the Age of Chaos, if I'm remembering correctly. It's fit to burst, if that's what you're getting at."

"And you're right," Lumina chimed in. "If it ever got out, then yeah, it would not only be the end of these people, but everyone else in the world, too. That much chaos just isn't good for you. Might make you sick." She flashed a grin and giggled. "Or, alternatively, dead."

Lightning faced the way they had come, robes fluttering around her legs. "I've seen enough."

Vanille, finding it difficult to focus with all the noise in her head, silently agreed. Together, they left the blue-lit sanctum and returned to the main hall. Lumina had vanished, as quickly as she had appeared, leaving herself and Lightning, and of course all of the guards, standing near the central altar. Vanille stared at it, not really seeing, while the other woman seemed thoughtful, standing off to the side.

"I need to rest." Her hand brushed the crystal shard hanging inside her pocket. "Though, I admit I'm afraid of what might come in my sleep. Dreams, you see. And not good ones, either."

"I get that." The warrior shifted her weight. "I thought you weren't going to come inside, Caius."

Surprised to hear that particular name, Vanille turned and squinted in the direction Lightning was looking. The gloom shaped by the lights formed a shadow that fell over several rows of pews. A tall, broad-shouldered man sat in one of them, an arm stretched across the polished wood behind him, and gazed at her. Vanille gradually became aware of a weight of chaos, coming from his direction, that drove itself hard into her chest.

"Oppressive, isn't he?" Lightning said, looking at her. Her voice was low, as if she didn't want him to hear.

Vanille took a breath and said nothing.

Caius rose from his seat in the pew and stepped toward them. An instant later, he stood in front of the pews, wisps of chaos trailing from his armor, his violet eyes meeting hers without wavering. Vanille looked him over, taking in the strength of his form, the power radiating from every inch of his body, the unreadable but fierce emotion flickering deep in his eyes, and felt suddenly nervous under his gaze. Something about it disturbed her, but she couldn't figure out why, and the weight of the chaos made it hard to think.

"You're Caius Ballad, then," she said, and from the way his gaze hardened, she guessed he fully expected her to let her words of blame loose. Instead, she said, "You bear a heavy burden. It _hurts_." Her hands clasped at her chest, pulse quickening. "You feel like those who are trapped in the chaos."

She ignored Lightning's stare in favor of Caius's flicker of emotion. "You are here, and that chaos is there, because of what I did long ago. This is my fault." He spoke with a strong, smooth voice, completely void of any real emotion except an undertone of pain that she recognized all too well.

_It certainly is_, some part of her wanted to agree, but she held the words back. He deserved the blame, for his sins had been grave indeed, but she just felt tired, too tired to assign him blame. Besides, the pain in his voice reminded her of her own once she had been found out, begging Sazh to shoot her, to make her free from the horrors she had allowed to propagate because she wanted to _run_ instead of face and fix them. She had no energy to point fingers, and some small part of her told her there was no need to remind him of his misdeeds.

"What's done is done," she murmured. "Soon, the end will come, and all our wrongs will be made right."

Caius said nothing, but she saw his expression harden.

Her bones pleaded for rest; she rubbed her arms, letting the silken fabric soothe her. "It's well past the time when I normally retire," she said, and smiled faintly. "If you'll excuse me, I must go. Thank you for the visit, Lightning." She met the woman's gaze. "Say hi to Hope for me, please?"

The woman returned her smile. "I will, I promise."

Vanille nodded and turned away.

"Oh, one more thing, Vanille, if you wouldn't mind?"

Vanille stopped and looked back at Lightning. Caius stood slightly behind her, not moving. "Sure."

Lightning took a breath. "Dajh is asleep, and his body appears to be empty. Sazh was told, by Lumina, that his soul actually isn't _in_ his body anymore. Have you heard of such a thing?"

She frowned slightly. "It's theoretically possible, but I don't know that it's likely. When did he fall asleep?"

"When the chaos came sweeping in long ago."

A hand clamped around the silken folds of her gown before she noticed it. "There's a good chance something may have come and broken the bonds, sure," she said, slowly, choosing her words. "But… you said he's empty?" She looked carefully at her friend. "Lightning, next time you go, look carefully. Reach out. Make absolutely sure of what you sense, because maybe…" The words died on her tongue, but Lightning's eyes narrowed slightly. She had heard the unspoken words, and the warning wavering beneath them.

Giving them each nods of respect as a goodbye, she turned away, retreating behind the silvered door. She followed the halls to her bathing chamber and scrubbed the grime of chaos off her skin before slipping into fresh clothes and climbing into her bed, though she opened her window slightly to let the cooler air in.

Before she closed her eyes, she clutched the crystal close, bending her chin over it, and then set it on the nightstand, where she could reach for it easily if she needed.

She had seen Lightning with her own eyes. Now she knew Snow was safe and Sazh and his son were safe.

How was it, then, that Caius, who had been slain by Noel, still lived?

Realizing she'd forgotten to ask that important question, she stowed it away for later and fell into a fitful sleep.

* * *

_Thank you so much for all the feedback from the last few chapters! It's helped kickstart my creative juices again - I have four forthcoming chapters already fully written up, so there's guaranteed updates every 1-2 weeks at least until they're published._

_A few quick notes about this chapter: I changed Vanille's clothing because I didn't like her wearing the same outfit when she'd changed cultures as well as eras. There's also a few minor details about the cathedral that I added or edited as well. Also, yes, Sazh's equivalent of the game's "quest" is going to be longer and more involved, so the situation with him and Dajh will continue to develop, and we'll see more of Sazh as the story goes on (I love Sazh, as he's one of my favorite Final Fantasy characters, so I wanted him to have more screentime!)._

_Anyway, I hope all of you enjoyed reading this chapter. I loved writing it. It's interesting writing from Vanille's perspective. :)_


	9. The Brightest Light

_**8 The Brightest Light**_

Lightning was a few feet from the cathedral gate when her stomach suddenly growled at her. She stopped in surprise and glared accusingly at the offending organ – as much as she could, at least, through armor, skin, fat, and muscle. "I'm hungry," she murmured. "I know I'll eat when I get back to the Ark, but…" Casting a look at the clock hanging by the sentry, she saw it was only barely past seven o' clock. "I can't wait that long."

Caius stood beside her and met her eyes when she looked at him. "Then you need to eat something," he said. "You cannot be allowed to grow weak."

For once, Lightning wasn't going to disagree with him. Still, she would not give him the satisfaction of knowing he was right. Following a path north to the station, they then made their way to the restaurant district – a semicircle of mostly outdoor cafes – just to the west, through an archway and past a stylized angel statue. The tables had been set with bouquets of glowing flowers, all arranged beautifully for the evening, as the dinner crowd came from the streets, some seeking mere refreshment, others a heavy meal to help them sleep.

Lightning hesitated a short distance from the bustle to drink it all in. Despite the emissions, Luxerion _was_ peaceful, with cricket song and the lapping of water framing the quiet. Sentries making their patrols, watching for monsters, did not disturb anyone, making their rounds unobtrusively.

For a few hours, from dusk to dawn, the city lay in quiet, sleeping soundly.

"In the corner," she instructed, and moved without giving Caius the chance to acknowledge her. The corner table was nestled against the wall and held a bouquet of glowing crimson flowers, their light causing the polished wood to shimmer as she approached. It allowed her to place her back to the stone wall, giving her one less direction to watch for enemies or intruders.

Seating herself, she adjusted her collar and shifted uneasily when Caius joined her, across from her. He sat like an emperor, relaxed but regal, shoulders squared, mouth firm, face as stone.

She would have more openly admired his appearance, then, if she could have found it in her.

The waiter was a youth, older than her but younger than thirty, with brown hair and gray eyes. He laid a menu in front of her, but when he moved to do the same for her companion, Caius merely shook his head and made a dismissive sort of gesture with one hand. The waiter withdrew to give Lightning time to ponder, while the stiffness returned to Caius's body.

Lightning smoothed one hand over the butter-soft, scaled red leather of the menu before flipping it open. The letters were written in shiny silver ink, glittering in the light of the blooms.

"You don't eat anymore?" she murmured.

A barely-audible creak of armor told her he had turned his head. "I have not _needed_ to for many centuries, though I occasionally indulged in spite of myself. Now, however…" She looked up in time to see him shake his head lightly, the crimson blooms making his hair shimmer. "I no longer feel the ache of hunger. My body has not asked for sustenance since I came to Valhalla, and from there to here."

Lightning found herself staring and silently berated herself, burying her nose back in the menu. It seemed to swim before her eyes as her mind went wandering off. Caius, sitting there, so elegant, so sophisticated, yet stiff as a board, would have choked the life out of her when he got that close, once.

It was unnerving knowing he wouldn't do it now, and fascinating in a way that tormented her.

She selected an item that included silverfish, a strip of grilled behemoth flank steak, gysahl greens grown out in the Wildlands, and diced potatoes with herbs and spices. It was somewhat pricey; she felt a stab of guilt for indulging when Hope had already told her to be careful with her gil, but she reassured herself in that she would find more gil somewhere or other, even if it only consisted of what was needed to get coffee.

The memory of the silky brew, sweetened with sugared sheep's milk and doused with flakes of chocolate, made her suddenly long for the old days back on Cocoon, though she pushed those memories aside. Cocoon was a dead world and long gone. She had to focus on the here and now.

Glad for the shadows due to the wall being between her and the nearest lamppost, Lightning dropped her chin in her hand and scoured the plaza with her eyes. Caius remained where he was, though he seemed to have relaxed a little, and instead seemed fascinated by the blooms, even reaching out one hand to touch the petals. She kept her gaze moving, searching for any signs of enemies or troublemakers, but saw nothing, and she began to relax for the first time that whole day, letting her body sink back into the chair.

It was then she realized just how spent she was, worn out from dealing with Caius, tromping all over the woods and uneven terrain of the grassland, climbing uncooperative ruins, riding on Odin's back, and of course doing more than her share of walking all over the hard stone streets of Luxerion. Her knees ached, her feet were sore, her legs had begun to stiffen from being clamped to her chocobo's fluffy back for hours, and all she wanted to do was curl up and catch some rest. That would come in a few hours, when the bells tolled midnight and the end of the day according to the standard twenty-four-hour clock, and Hope brought her back to the Ark.

She called upon all of her strength and vowed to last the few hours it would take before she returned to the Ark.

Caius was still fondling the glowing petals; she looked at him.

As if sensing her stare, his eyes came up to hers, and she felt uneasy under his steady gaze. It felt eternal, as if she could lose herself to the infinity of the cosmos if she kept on staring, and wondered why. What was it about Caius's eyes that were so utterly unique in this world of crushed spirits and wounded hearts?

"What you said to Vanille…" She stopped, unsure how to continue.

He withdrew his hand and returned to sitting upright, though he rested his back against the chair. "I only told the truth. Are you so surprised?" His face remained impassive, but his eyes seemed to darken with feeling. It stirred her blood, making her wonder was going on inside his head. She'd never been able to gaze at him this long before.

"Guess I shouldn't be," she murmured. "You've always told the truth."

He sighed softly. "I never had a reason not to."

She caught the scent of behemoth steak and barely resisted the urge to squirm in anticipation. "Lying probably would have made your job easier. The worst you did was embellish." Something stung her heartless void and made her fingers flex. "And got my sister killed and Noel caught by the web of chaos."

Even to her own ears, the words sounded cold, perhaps too much so, but she didn't care. Some childish part of her wanted him to hurt and feel how she felt, even if it _was_ cruel.

But Caius only gazed at her. "That is true."

She wasn't sure what to think of him agreeing with her, but didn't get a chance to say anything else before movement in the corner of her eye caused her to turn her head slightly. She felt her expression harden; Caius did not move, though curiosity flickered in his eyes. He seemed to understand that to look would be exactly the wrong thing to do, and for that, she was grateful, just for a moment.

"Heretics," she hissed, and adjusted the flowers to take some of the glow off her face.

She needn't have bothered, though, for there were three of them, two men and a woman, who allowed their hoods to drape across their shoulders, their masks removed, as they chattered quietly amongst themselves, approaching the restaurant counter to place orders. The woman had long, wavy red hair she wore pulled back, with a pair of braids dangling in front of her left ear. One of the men was tall, but lanky, indicating that he was little more than a teenager, with longish black hair. The other man was shorter, but older and calmed, though Lightning guessed he was barely thirty, if he was at all, with pale blond hair.

They took a seat a few tables away and seemed ignorant of her presence.

She couldn't believe the blessing that had been bestowed upon her. Not only did they speak loudly enough for her to hear their conversation, but they completely ignored their surroundings, engrossed in their own idle chatter. Their table even had a bouquet of blue-white flowers that cast a strange but clear light across their faces.

"Enough of that," the eldest said. "On to more pressing matters."

The teen straightened in his seat. "The sacrifice."

The woman scratched the back of her neck. "Maybe Mwynn can return."

"Mwynn?" The teen made an annoyed sound. "You keep saying that. Mwynn's _gone_. She got ate up by the chaos a long time ago, and she can't just come waltzing back to this world, even if she _is_ still existing." When the waiter set down a trio of cups, the teen immediately took drained all the liquid from one with a huge show of bravado.

The woman groaned. "Pity. She could take over for Etro and save us."

"And Etro is _truly_ gone," the eldest said, sounding sad. "Nothing will ever bring her back. She passed into the chaos, and then she was slain from within it. No one is left to restore the balance."

"Deader than dead," the teen put in.

The eldest shot him a look. "Keep your wits about you. Tonight's rite is a special one: the Liberator is said to be in this city, right now, and she will no doubt come to try and save an innocent from being slain. If she comes, then will be the time to stop her." He took a deep breath. "And with her death, we may yet be able to save the world from its fate. We may yet be able to prevent it from slipping into the chaos."

"And one day, _I'll_ be the one to wield the sickle." Though the teen sat with his back to her, Lightning saw how his body language communicated his glee. "It would make me so happy and clean, to know we were slaying those who resemble the wicked Liberator, ending th–"

The eldest abruptly _whacked_ him across the shoulder with the back of his hand. She saw it wasn't hard enough to do more than bruise, lightly, but the teen still yelped and tensed, shoulders hunching. "We are gutting what are most likely _innocents_," he told the teen, very sharply. "None of them have displayed the bravery or power of the true Liberator. And Molok, he won't listen. He _refuses_ to listen to this madness!"

The teen rubbed his shoulder. "Then why don't you _make_ him?"

The woman stared at him as if he'd gone mad. "Because Molok would throw us into the chaos emissions and let us be warped into monsters," she said. "He's too strong to be stopped by _us_."

Lightning felt a prickle of anger at their cowardice. They could probably overpower this "Molok" of theirs, and yet they sat and twittered like children. Even the eldest might be able to swing a blade well enough to chop a man in two, just from the way even his robes couldn't hide all the muscle clinging to his body, but instead they just sat there and talked big while all the while caving to their master's whims.

Her lips tightened against her teeth as she restrained a sneer. It was people like this that made her sick.

It wasn't until she saw Caius staring at her that she realized her fingers were digging into the table.

"Oh," she murmured, and was grateful for the distraction of the waiter setting her meal down in front of her. As Caius went back to his guard duty, Lightning picked at her food before forcing herself to eat. The taste of it was far beyond anything she could remember eating, but her stomach was upset, making it hard to hold it down. She forced herself to clean off every tidbit on the plate before paying the waiter and abandoning her seat.

Caius rose and followed her without a sound. The Etro fanatics stayed where they were, now bent silently over their meals and eating without looking up.

"They're ashamed," she said. "They _know_ they're committing murder, but they won't stop, because they're afraid. Cowards," she bit out after a brief pause. "Dirty–"

"Remember, warrior," Caius murmured, and something firm in his voice gave her pause, "that not everyone is as strong in these matters as you or me. Our convictions overcome even our fear of death, but for others, it is better to commit such wickedness than to die in agony."

She looked at him and saw stern bitterness in his eyes. "It's not an excuse," she said.

"Not to you, but to them, they can justify it, if barely."

Turning away with a huff, she examined the clock fixed on a post a short distance away. Its face lit by a splash of pale light, it read nine twenty-three. The shadows were thick now, and the streets were mostly deserted. Only a few people wandered in the darkness now, and most of them were clerics. If any more heretics were around, they kept themselves hidden. Following them that first night had proven them cunning, so she knew they could be literally anywhere, though that could just be a tiny bit of paranoia.

They had spent nearly two hours just walking and sitting. She hadn't realized how the time had flown.

"And how to amuse yourself now?" Caius seemed to read her thoughts.

She looked at him. "If you're so bored, go home."

The sudden emptiness of his eyes, quickly covered by a thick and strong armor plate, made her wish she could take the words back. Old memories held her tongue fast. _Never forget what you've seen_, a voice whispered deep in her heartless void. Those eyes had carried burning glee and impossible rage, turned on her so often that he had, at times, become her whole world, her entire existence, menacing and powerful and insurmountable. Nothing could stop him, and no matter what she tried, her best merely slowed him down. Even the timeline had bent to his will and the mighty chaos itself had obeyed his commands.

Feeling suddenly spent, she turned away from him again and rubbed the heel of her palm in her eye. Now, though he was even more powerful than he had been during their final battle, he walked with his chin up and spirit down, at her side, lowering himself to her level from the limitless power he had clawed his way up to. He could kill her with a look, break her neck with a snap of his fingers, and yet he did not.

She blinked suddenly, coming to her senses.

They had wandered back into the North Station plaza, the less beautiful of the two stations, where its boardwalk looked over a rippling sea she knew contained little actual water. In the center, a stylized female figure held a clock on her shoulders as she gazed blankly into the heavens. She glanced around at the cheerless checkered floor, the shadows clinging to the corners of every building, and shivered.

It was then she heard it – the soft, choked sobs of a child, trying very hard to restrain itself. Lightning looked that direction, peering into the shadows, and made out a lone, very small figure curled up against the wall beneath the scaffolding just to the right of the station entrance.

Her feet carried her to the child as she felt a strange need to reach out. "Hey," she said, bending with her hands on her knees, "are you okay?"

The girl abruptly looked up, face tear-stained, but eyes bright. "Fine, just cold," she said in the sweet voice of a girl no older than ten at most. She smiled slightly, and Lightning felt herself return it as she crouched.

"You're crying because you're cold?"

The girl scrubbed at a cheek with one hand. "No, of course not!" she insisted.

"Alright," Lightning said, nodding. "What's troubling you?"

The girl tipped her head. "Are you the Liberator?"

Lightning stifled a sigh. Did everyone in this city know about her? "Yes," she said flatly.

"Well…" The girl had short-cropped, dark hair and clear gray eyes. Her skin was pale, as if she had spent far more time in the night and the shadows instead of in the sun. "I lost my favorite doll. A green Carbuncle doll. I looked all over for it, but it's…" She hesitated. "…been gone for months."

"Where did you leave it?"

"Right here." She looked crestfallen. "But the chaos took it away."

Lightning heard something shift behind her and glanced back to see Caius looking uncomfortable again. For the moment, she ignored him. "Maybe we can find it for you," she said, not daring to reach out for the girl, so instead she poured as much warmth as her emotionless existence could muster into her voice. "Maybe someone took it home for you? They saw it here, and thought maybe you left it behind by accident?"

Her expression softened. "This is my home."

This time, the sound of Caius's unease seemed louder. "If the chaos took it, we'll rip it right out of the jaws of a monster, or I'm definitely not the Liberator. Sound okay?"

"Yes!" the girl cried, but then she gathered herself, saying more softly, "Yes, please. Thank you."

Lightning smiled, then rose to her feet and moved away.

Caius caught up to her after remaining where he was a few seconds longer. "We are not likely to find it." He kept his voice low. "Still, there is always a chance, and I am willing to help you look."

She shot him a look. "Why do you care?" she demanded, though she also kept her voice low.

Caius's face may as well have been carved from steel. "Because that girl lost a possession very dear to her to the chaos I unleashed upon the world." He sounded exasperated, as if he were explaining something to a child to him it had been explained a thousand times already.

Lightning shook her head, clearing it, and looked out over the water. "These are trying times," she said, folding her arms. "Maybe it's good the world's ending so soon. The pain can all be washed away, and we can all start afresh, like nothing ever happened. Nothing…" She tapped the center of her chest with one finger, just below the crest on her armor. "…but the memories branded on our hearts."

* * *

An eternity later, Hope recalled the warrior back to the Ark and frowned at the sight of her. She looked exhausted, scuffed and dirty from her day-long trek, and there was a hitch in her gait that indicated she was sore. But her eyes were blazing, blue as the skies, and he knew he had little reason to worry for her. She was strong and ready to take on the world, as she had been so often before.

For a moment, he drifted into a haze of memories, many stripped away, but some remaining, though he felt little more than echoes of emotion when he recalled them. He remembered Lightning standing between him and the Palumpolum enforcers, raging against the unbreakable shell of Anima, standing tall at the siege of Eden, her determined speech to Orphan, and the Oracle Drive showing her fighting bravely in her unending war against the destroyer of worlds, Caius Ballad. She had _always_ been strong, and she could do this.

"Welcome home, Light," he said, warmly.

Lightning flicked her gaze to him before facing the tree of Yggdrasil, dangling its feathery roots over the abyss that was between them and the bottom of the Ark. While a starry sky twinkled overhead and he turned the lights a little lower to coax her to rest once she finished, she placed a hand over the crystal beneath her emblem, embedded there by Bhunivelze's hand, and then stretched it out. A flash of energy touched the tree, and it squirmed before producing a limb heavy with a large and very blue fruit.

"Interesting," she muttered. "So, got anything new to provide?"

Hope was shaking his head before she finished. "Sorry, Light, but there's not much news. Nothing's really changed since you left." He paused. "Though, I wanted to ask you something."

She approached stiffly. "Yeah?"

"There's been a knot of chaos pursuing you all over the world. Sometimes it's so close that I can't reach you, or see you with my sensors." Hope frowned slightly when she continued to gaze impassively at him. "What is it? What's so powerful, or invisible, that you haven't stopped it?"

She leaned on the console and rubbed the back of her hand across her eyes. "Caius is with me."

Hope wasn't sure he'd heard right. "I'm sorry?"

"You heard me." Her voice was thick with exhaustion, but her eyes remained emotionless when she raised her head to look at him. "He was allowed to leave the temple to help me, provided he returns every night while I'm up here, for a time, to visit the Yeuls he left behind. He's helping me clean up the wreck he caused." She turned her head to look at the tree again. "Don't worry, he's not out to kill me."

If Hope could have felt true alarm, he would have been consumed by it. As it was, concern washed over him like a tide. "Lightning, I know you mean well, and I know you're the Liberator and all, but he _did_ try to kill you in the past, many times," he told her sternly. "He killed Serah, drove Noel to the brink of insanity, and is the crux of all the madness that's occurred in this world. You _know_ he's dangerous and not to be trusted even for a–"

"What would you have me do? You know about the chaos monsters, right?"

Uneasy at being interrupted, he said, "Yes."

"When I face them alone, I can force them off, but not before they kill and cause panic and destruction, then _decide_ to leave. I can't kill them, but Caius is powerful enough to send them slithering away much sooner than I can." A hand touched her belly. "One of them got its tentacles around me and started to crush me before he chased it off and saved my life. I don't like him, either, but he's a powerful ally."

"Lightning, he's our enemy, the destroyer of our world and future." He tried reasoning with her, wondering what sort of madness had consumed her. "You can't keep him with you. You just _can't_."

She shook her head. "It's not forever, Hope, just until the end."

"Now I'm going to be worried about–"

"That's enough," she snapped, and he immediately fell silent. She was high-strung right now, stretched taut, and in no mood to argue with him. They hadn't argued since leaving the Fifth Ark long ago, hadn't exchanged more than playful banter since meeting here. To hear her do otherwise meant she was badly strained.

A cold feeling crept through him. If Caius hurt her, he would pay dearly. She was too precious to their future and bore all the hopes of the people on her shoulders.

"Get some rest," he said, "and that's an order. Stop thinking for a while."

At once, she looked defeated and very, very tired. "Right," she said. When she turned away, he flipped a switch, and out of the floor rose a one-person bed, barely larger than a cot, but very comfortable, that she stretched out on after gazing at it for a second. He himself had little need for sleep, but Lightning was far more active than she, and though she was extraordinarily powerful now, she still lived in the body of a human.

A body battered, bruised, wounded, and strained by constant activity and little time for peace since the Pulse Vestige had been found and the war had begun.

As she fell into a doze, Hope turned back to his instruments, wishing desperately that he could save her.

* * *

_So, as you can see, I'm trying to integrate some sidequests into the story as well as the main quests. I'm pulling story elements from everywhere - sidequests, loading screens, the epilogue novella, wherever. Anyway, I hope you're enjoying the story so far, and please, it really makes my day when you drop a review. I appreciate every single one and they help give me the grit to keep going. Thank you!_


	10. Shadow Hunter

_**9 Shadow Hunter**_

Lightning awoke to a hazy yellow light, dim and pleasant, warm and safe, and rolled slightly, laying her forearm across her brow, and yawned. One foot slipped off the cot she lay upon, landing on the hard stone floor, her boot making a soft clicking sound as it landed. For a few moments, she lay there, slowly drawing herself out of the haze of sleep and the dreamland she had just finished visiting. They had been pleasant dreams – of Serah, smiling at her, and Snow, making promises he swore to keep if it cost him his life. Parts had been incredibly surreal, as though she saw everything at once, but it had made sense at the time, and continued to now.

"Good morning, Light," Hope's voice said to her, soft and soothing. "Looks like you slept well. I'll keep the lights dim for now until you finish waking up."

Lightning groaned and sat up, yawning again. "Time to go back," she murmured.

"Eager to get going, are we?" Hope chuckled softly. "Well, of course you are. The more people you save, the closer you get to saving Serah, right?"

She felt a distant pang of longing and swung her legs off the cot. Was this how the Yeuls felt, risking everything just to be with Caius, even if it meant causing both of them to suffer for so long? She felt desperation, determination, to be with her sister, see her safe, see Snow sweep her up in his arms, and know that all would be well. It was worth the emptiness inside to know the future would be bright.

She stood slowly and approached Hope, who said, "I'll send you back to the graveyard gate. Did you already find the code needed to get inside?"

She nodded. "Caius and I searched for them before midnight struck. They're hard to miss. Apparently, they're half the size of a man and glow purple."

Hope looked stern, but amusement twinkled in his eyes all the same. "Caius assisted you with that? Are you sure it's really a good idea to have him with you?" When she nodded, he sighed in obvious defeat. "Well, like I said, I'll just have to trust your judgment. But, Light, if he causes you _any_ trouble–"

Raising her hand and cutting him off, she said, "It's okay, Hope, I know what I'm getting into with him."

Hope didn't look sure, but he said, "Well, alright, then."

"Now, there's something I wanted to ask you," she said after a brief pause. She thought back to Sazh and Vanille and the "imposter" they had mentioned; her fingers flexed at her sides. Hope looked expectant. She fixed her eyes on his and said, "There's a couple of people who spoke of some sort of… imposter. She apparently looked like me and was responsible for dragging you to the Ark. Is that true?"

The expression on the boy's face seemed to freeze, as though it had been carved of stone. "You… you have heard of the rose-haired phantom?" His expression softened again. "I'd hoped it'd never be brought up to you."

"Why?" She placed a hand on her hip. "Is it bad?"

"It's–" His green eyes briefly flicked away. "That depends. It was how I– how I– how…"

The boy's eyes suddenly unfocused, his body going rigid, expression twisting into something that frightened her, making her bowels suddenly tighten. It was though he had been suddenly stricken with illness, one that froze his blood and turned his bones to steel, and for a long moment, he neither moved nor spoke, merely staring blankly into space, while she waited, feet planted, for something to happen.

When he continued to stand there impassively, she cried, "Hope! Snap out of it!"

And just like that, the spasm passed. "I'm sorry?"

She frowned at him. "What happened?"

"When?" He looked confused.

Something nibbled at her subconscious, whispering words she couldn't decipher. His eyes were back to how they had looked before the spasm, but they seemed oddly, slightly, hollow. "Never mind," she murmured, not wanting to risk another episode. "I, uh… I spoke to Vanille, by the way. She's in the cathedral in Luxerion, and she wanted me to say hi to you for her."

"Vanille?" The hollow look vanished; his expression twisted faintly. "She's… well, then. Alive and well. Good, I'm glad to… good." He looked at the floor, then back at her. "I came to the Ark when she was still in crystal stasis, and I'd hoped to see her awaken. That that did not come to pass upsets me somewhat."

She frowned. There was _something_ in the boy's expression… "You miss her, don't you? Vanille, I mean?"

The boy looked slightly aghast, but she saw confusion flicker across his features, as though he didn't understand what she spoke of… but something deep inside him tried to make him remember. "I miss all my friends," he said, in his typically monotone voice. "Vanille was my friend."

_Just that?_ "Did you had the same desire to see Fang awaken from crystal sleep?"

Hope blinked. "I didn't know Fang as well. I admired her strength, but I didn't know much about her."

Something about the way he spoke made her uneasy. Something was _wrong_ about his words. "I see. Well, she wanted me to say hello. It seemed she wants to see you herself, and she laments you having left the world before she could awaken." She carefully watched his impassive features and thought, for a second, that something ghosted across them, but it vanished before she could figure it exactly what it was.

"If you succeed in your mission, she will go to the new world, and all will see her again."

She nodded. "Of course. And that means you too, you know."

As she turned away, heading for the warp device, Hope said to her, "By the way, the original plan was to recall you to the Ark at six every morning instead of midnight. I wanted to see how this would work out, but it seems I have a higher likelihood of cutting you off in the middle of a mission if I do it at midnight."

Stopping, she looked back at him. "Thinking of changing it back?"

He nodded once, slowly. "Yes."

She thought of having to spend six extra hours wandering around today and wondered if she could take it. "Alright, but why six in the morning?"

"At that point, the world is transitioning between dusk and dawn. Things are generally quiet then. The changing of the guard in Luxerion occurs at six, and you are less likely to get caught running an errand as the shift rolls over from graveyard to early shift." A hand ran through his hair as he looked thoughtful. "It will be more difficult to keep track of the remaining days, but I believe it will make it easier for you in the long run."

"That's why you tried midnight, to match the clock?"

"Exactly. It's the usual turnover between two days, as you know, but…" He sighed. "…we might have to go back to the original plan. Here, give the new schedule a try, and then let me know how it works out for you. If it seems okay, then it'll be six a.m. each time from now on. Sound good?"

She nodded. "Sounds fine," she said, and strode into the warp gate.

The world fluttered and glowed in checkered patterns around her, and then suddenly she stood, not in the graveyard in the clutch of nighttime, but in a large, circular location, resembling the Ark, but so dark all around that she could only see the immediate area. Where the edge of the platform normally dropped off into the abyss below, there was nothing but darkness. She smelled chaos, so thick it nearly smothered her, and saw the crystal throne of Etro before her, no longer glowing with ethereal silver light with the death of its overseer.

Instinct took over, and she switched on her headset. "Hope? Can you hear me? Do you know where I am?"

A blast of static responded, and she switched it back off.

"Well, hey, sis, how's it going?"

Lightning let her hand drop as she looked up at the throne. Lumina, propped on her elbows, grinned at her, eyes bright and mischievous. Even in the darkness, she was well-lit, as though she exuded some sort of light of her own.

"Where am I?" Lightning demanded immediately.

Lumina's eyebrows went up. "Ouch, wow, way to get to the point, huh? Well, let me put it this way: Hope can't find you, can't talk to you, and we can be private here. Nobody can see us but those you let in. Wanna know why?" She didn't wait for an answer, even as Lightning opened her mouth. "Because we're _inside_ you! Spooky, huh?"

She stared at the girl. "Like, inside my… my mind?"

"Eh, more like your heart, but sure." Lumina swung her legs and tilted her head. "This way, we can chitchat about all sorts of things, and nobody–" She drew out the first syllable of the word, raising a hand with her index finger up, and moved it in a small circle. "–can hear us. It's great! I love it, don't you?"

Hardly. "Hear us," she muttered. "Like who?"

The girl's expression fell. "You're a smart cookie, I see," she muttered. "Like _Hope_, duh."

Lightning folded her arms. "Why do I care?"

"Because everything he sees and hears get sent straight to Bhunivelze, whether he wants to share it or not."

Lightning blinked. "I got nothin' to hide."

Lumina slid off the throne to land in front of her, mimicking her arms-folded-hip-cocked stance, and tried to look stern. Exaggerated though it was, Lightning had to admit that it sure did look like her. "Yeah, right, right, 'cuz you're Bhunivelze's faithful servant, and you would _never_ do anything to betray him. You're as good as good little slaves – oops, I mean, _servants_ – come." She placed a finger alongside her lips and smirked. "No secret thoughts, no hidden agendas…"

Lightning couldn't believe what she was hearing. What was she implying, that she would in _any_ way jeopardize her reunion with Serah? Break the rules? Be anything but the servant she had chosen to be? The sword she had been shaped through so much warfare to become? No, Lumina was a fool if she believed that for a second. No thoughts of betrayal had ever crossed her mind. _Never_ would she betray Bhunivelze.

Serah, and the rest of humanity, was too precious to risk the wrath of a being so much more powerful than she.

Flicking her hand and feeling irritated, she said, "Look, you're wasting my time. I've got no secret plans and no betrayals in mind. Now, let me outta here."

"You can go anytime you want, you just got to wanna." Lumina spoke flatly now. "I don't think you really do."

Lightning growled softly. "What do you want?"

"Oh, just… little things. Like, for you to know the truth about Serah, and–"

"Serah?" Lightning blurted the word before she could stop herself. The sound of her precious sister's name brought a powerful shock to the void where her emotions should have been. "What do _you_ know?"

Lumina blinked calmly at her. "That she's okay." And for an instant, just a _glimmer_ of an instant, there was Serah's image, dressed in the time-traveling clothes bestowed upon her by Etro long ago, superimposed over the girl, giving Lightning a smile that made her stop breathing.

Fear slunk through her. Why would she see this, _now_ of all times?

"Serah!" she cried out.

Lumina giggled. The girl's image had already vanished. "Oh, and watch out for Caius, okay? Don't turn your back on him."

Irritated again, Lightning scowled at her. "You don't have to tell me."

"Right. You hate him, don't you? For what he did."

Lightning opened her mouth to agree, then hesitated. She felt around inside herself, seeking confirmation for the girl's words. Lumina sounded so sure, in ways she rarely had before, despite the playfulness in her tone that she always displayed. Yet, no matter how she searched, all she found was bitterness.

The hatred she had once felt for the world-destroying terror in the guise of a man was gone.

"No," she murmured. "I remember hating him, but I don't feel it anymore. Like… something's missing, something important, something I really, really need…"

Lumina looked surprised. "Huh, really. I was pretty sure you'd deny it. Looks like when you lost that part of your heart, your hate for Caius went with it. Wonder why." Sounding genuinely confused, she only hesitated a minute before shrugging and saying, "Doesn't matter. Long as you remember what he did, you don't have a thing to worry about." And with that, and a smirk, she vanished.

Lightning felt a sense of vertigo and landed on her feet in a grassy courtyard thick with shadows. Refreshed from her nap, mind mulling over the strangeness of what had just happened, she came to her senses, hearing the sound of a phone ringing somewhere behind her, and turned toward it.

It was the booth the Heretics used.

She swallowed and walked toward the handset. It lifted with a _click_; she held it to her ear and spoke the words when the gritty, dangerous voice on the other side demanded she prove herself. Though she had worried about forgetting the numbers, they came with crystal clarity to the forefront of her mind and rolled off her tongue as though they had always been there. To her relief, the gate slid up. She returned the handset.

Beyond the gate was a knoll carpeted in short, brown-tinged grass. No flowers grew here, and the shadows seemed thicker than outside. Spindly wooden vegetation, resembling elderberry bushes with all the leaves stripped away, stood all around her. Their naked limbs seemed to reach for her, as if to tug her into their grip and never let go; she gave them a wide berth, feeling the hairs on her forearms stand on end. It was a strange, eerie, unfriendly place into which no living thing should ever venture, she knew.

Her boots brushed the grass, sinking into damp earth. She inhaled. The air smelled of dirt and stone, dank and dark, with the faint scent of chaos mingled in it.

Soft chanting came from ahead; she gasped softly and picked up the pace.

She rounded a corner to find a disturbing sight: a group of Heretics, all bearing jagged curved blades that they lifted in unison with their chanting, stood in a grid pattern, while torches lit at each corner of a gray stone dais spilled light across the gathering. At the head of the group stood a man whose scythe was stained with old blood, and in front of him, held up by her chained wrists, eyes wide with terror, was a woman, maybe her age, with the same color hair as her own. She had long given up fighting, Lightning could see.

"The day of judgment has come." The man spoke, pointing his blade at the woman. Though his hood hid his face, there was no mistaking the glee in his voice. "Wicked Liberator, go now to Etro's side! Look upon the face of our precious goddess of death and condemn us no more to your evil!"

Lightning charged at the man.

He raised his scythe. It shimmered in the torchlight. Now she saw a mad gleam in his eyes.

The scythe came down with a _clang_ on her broken sword; the sound broke the spell on the crowd. While the woman gave a terrified whimper, the Heretics suddenly broke apart, eyes wide and wild. Some of them wore black masks that half-hid their expressions, while others only had the shadows cast by their hoods. All of them stared at her as she delivered a kick to the man's midsection before swinging her sword the other way. With a _clank_ of metal, the chains binding the woman broke free; she toppled onto her side, moaning.

"What are you doing?" Lightning demanded, brandishing her blade in a way that threw the light from the torches all over. She couldn't put much anger into her words, but she was able to slam a certain amount of weight into it as she looked around at the assembly. "Killing innocents? For what purpose?"

The man, who had nearly fallen to his knees, glared at her. "To kill you," he said simply. "You will not destroy our future, and you will not destroy our world. You will take no more lives. You will bring no more of your evil into this world." He straightened; the other Heretics assembled behind him. Lightning saw the trio from the restaurant, their eyes wide and glittering in the torchlight.

She briefly bared her teeth. "I'm here to help everyone to the new world. What madness could possibly make you believe that I would have the gall to destroy all of you instead?"

"The Oracle Drive said so!" he snapped at her. "They have _never_ been wrong! They were visions bestowed by our beloved goddess Etro herself unto her chosen seeress, who has _also_ departed this world. Yet, somehow, this one survived the end of time, and now it is our salvation and our–"

Lightning shook her head. "Get out of here. Don't take any more innocents for your stupid rites and leave the rest of us alone. None of you have–"

"I am _Moloch_!" the man screamed at her. The madness in his eyes intensified. "_I_ shall be the one to direct these ones what they shall do! I have the power to take life and destroy it! All who defy _me_ shall be cast into the chaos to burn in a fate far worse than death! You–" A smirk spread across his mouth. "–will make a _magnificent_ monster."

Lightning growled and brought her sword around to face him.

"You're not gonna be the ones to kill her, and _you_ won't have a thing to do with it, Moloch!" A new voice joined in the din of murmuring, and someone to the ground near the dais.

Lightning gazed at Noel Kreiss for a moment, wondering how long he had been pursuing her. No longer dressed in the garb of the hunter, the fabric had long given way to more contemporary clothing. Synthetic fabric trimmed more homespun materials in a short-sleeved black-and-gray top lined with deep blue. His pants were made mostly of wraps of fabric and animal pelts. Around his waist clung a belt of leather garnished with gold wire and decorated with a beaded blue-white flower. A practical pack made of leather, the furred tail of some beast, and a sheath of reinforced leather and a silver metal hung from the belt.

Noel had the look of someone who had seen too much, eyes blazing in the torchlight, but burdened with darkness she felt weighing on her shoulders. A scar decorated the skin on either side of one eye, there was a bruise on his jaw, charcoal-colored paint on the left side of his face and near his eyes resembling a raven's wing, and a grim line in his lips that told her he was not here to make friends.

"This is _my_ job," he said, brandishing a well-worn and familiar javelin that split in two when he grasped it and held it in both hands, "and you won't take my prize. It's disgusting," he added, this time looking right at Moloch, "you thinking this is okay. What is _wrong_ with all of you?"

There was silence, then an incredulous voice cried, "He means to pass judgment on us!"

Lightning snapped out "don't kill them!" just as Noel leapt into action with the agility of someone well used to fighting quickly and efficiently, knocking over a torch that merely sputtered in the wet earth, slashing here and there and again until screams of terror and pain filled the air. Even knowing that these people had killed so many for the sake of their mad cult, she still felt an empty pang of horror at seeing Noel lash out as he did. Hoping to save some from the judgment of his sword, she joined in and used the flat side to bash them down. In moments, the whole of the assembly lay on the ground, all of them groaning and writhing in pain.

Instantly, she turned her sword on the man beside her in time to meet his. This was what he had come for, to _kill_ her, and if ever there was a right time–

"No, not here," he said suddenly. "Find me in the Den of Shadows in the Warren."

"Wait, Noel–" she cried, but he was gone, and she stared after him. After a moment, she cursed, gazing around at the bodies around her. All of them still lived, most of them in excruciating pain. Blood painted the dais in spatters. The stench of it turned the air rotten and made her feel sick.

Feeling an echo of anger, she kicked one of the discarded scythes, sending it flying into the wall. The resounding _clang_ made her feel no better. Why had Noel done this, and why did he want so desperately to kill her? What of this "Oracle Drive" they had spoken of? Such devices had once held prophecies of the future, but now they were mere remnants of an ancient world, rendered useless by the chaos. They were an impossibility now. There was no future to show any longer, nothing but the end of the world.

_The Den of Shadows_. Lightning paced a moment before kneeling to unshackle the woman still lying on the stone. It sounded like a dark place, especially if it were part of the hopelessness of the Warren. As the woman wandered off, Lightning stayed put. Of course it was a trap – Noel wanted to kill her. But for _him_ of all people to want to kill _her_… it made little sense. What madness could consume him so wholly that he wanted to kill even an old comrade and make sure no one else killed her first?

As she glanced around, she saw the fire-eyed Moloch had vanished.

She was walking, crossing the plaza, when she sensed a presence materialize close by, familiar, the heavy burden returning to rest over her heart. She battled the instinct that flared in her chest, clenching her hand into a fist to keep it from flying to her sword. When she looked, Caius had taken his place at her side, looking weary, but otherwise just as impassive as when he had left her.

"I'm going to face Noel." They had entered the plaza in front of the North Station; she stopped and drew his attention to her with a beckoning gesture. "Considering what you managed to make him do in Valhalla, it might be a good idea to leave for the time being. He wants to kill me–"

"Then I will remain with you," he interrupted smoothly. "If someone seeks your death, then I will prevent it."

She stared at him. "What, you gonna protect me?"

Rather annoyingly, no emotion entered his eyes at _all_. How he managed to stay so stoic, when she had known him as the quite vocal and emotional warrior that had decimated her multiple times in Valhalla, was a mystery that had begun to take hold deep inside her. If only _she_ could be that good. "If that is what must be done to further your goal of saving the people of this world, then I suppose that is what will happen," he said.

"No," she said, shaking her head, "I'm not Yeul."

"I am well aware of that." Through an infuriatingly impassive voice, she thought she heard a tinge of something she dared compare to admiration. "Since you insisted on wasting time on getting me out of that temple to assist you in your job here, then it is my assistance you shall have."

She started to walk off, then hesitated and looked back at him. "Caius," she murmured, "if you face Noel too, there's no telling how he might react. He's pretty far off the deep end already." The image of Noel completely losing it at the sight of his ancient mentor returning from the dead, long after his lifeless body had collapsed on the crystal-laden shores of Valhalla, made her heart beat cold blood. "I need to save him. I _have_ to rescue him from whatever burden he's suffering under. I _need_ to." She found herself quietly pleading, hoping that Caius would understand and return to the chaos until she was finished. Noel needed her to save him from the chaos, so that he too could be there to greet Serah when she finally returned.

But she knew she had lost before she even finished when Caius neither moved nor spoke, his infinite gaze locked with hers, and she was forced to drop hers away.

"There is always the danger of chaos coming after you," he said. "I will remain with you, for now."

His words were loaded; her eyes snapped back to his.

The fierceness in his eyes contrasted so heavily with the stoicism of his expression that she wondered if she were imagining it. "At least keep back, out of sight," she murmured. "If Noel sees you, there's a good chance you'll undo any ground I gain with him. I can't have that. Noel's suffering. I've _got_ to help him."

Caius nodded and remained silent.

Together, they left the plaza and headed down the narrow corridor leading into the Warren. This deep in the night, there was almost no one around. There were no couriers, no clerics, only sentries patrolling or guarding from their stations. The lights of the city had been turned low, even back here in the dirty shacks and cracked pavement that so many people called home. Neon signs hung from posts and walls, sometimes crooked, casting strange hues across tiny puddles of water and miserable faces. Scraggly dogs and cats missing patches of fur picked through the garbage or loitered near businesses and homes for scraps. The whole place smelled like rotted wood pulp, dirty paper, rusted metal, mud, and a general lack of cleanliness.

She sniffed and rubbed the back of her hand against her nose. Throughout the ages, Gran Pulse had always had its poverty, often with living conditions just like this, but to see it continue into the immortal age made her sick.

"This is disgusting," she murmured.

"It will soon be over," Caius said. "Try not to let it get to you."

She looked at him. "I couldn't even if I wanted. One of the things I had to give up to become Bhunivelze's servant was the majority of my emotions. Some things remain – determination, irritation, mild anger – but all the rest has been stripped away." She ignored his growing look of incredulity and shrugged one shoulder. "I remember _how_ to feel and how I felt, and I can sometimes feel _echoes_ of emotion, but it's all gone."

She heard something, so low and soft that it took her a moment to realize that she was actually hearing it, and then another moment to realize it was coming from _him_.

"Are you _laughing_ at me?" she said, dismayed.

For the first time since they had met again in this world, he didn't look stern. "Do you expect me to believe that?" he murmured, and stopped as he spoke. Lightning stopped as well and stared at him. "I remember how you reacted to me and what you have said and done since then. You will need to try harder to convince me if you want me to believe you have been affected this way."

"Why?" she muttered. "Is it honestly that hard to believe?"

He answered simply, "Yes."

Snorting, she turned away and continued her march through the ghetto, but something scratched lightly at the back of her mind even as she did her best to ignore it. _Caius is right_, it whispered. Her emotions were greatly tempered, but beneath it all, dancing on the fringes of the void, she felt twinges of feeling that surged with enough of a push. Hope told her Bhunivelze had sanded her feelings away, but now that she thought about it, the emotions that would help get her job done _did_ remain behind, and little else.

Yet, even as she thought that, she remembered her love for Serah and how desperate she was to save her.

A cold feeling twisted in her gut. _Desperate_.

_Stop it_, she chastised herself, and shoved her thoughts down into some dark place where they wouldn't trouble her for the time being.

The deeper into the ghetto they went, the more sinister and silent their surroundings became. Signs painted on the walls, including badly faded arrows made of neon-filled tubes, proclaimed that this was the path to a particularly run-down and dangerous section called the "Den of Shadows" – the place where she and Noel would confront each other, she knew now. Between them and the Warren were two tall and horribly dilapidated doors made of wood and crossed with heavy iron bars, rusted and cracking. Lightning approached them warily, eyes darting up and down their length, the silence almost hurting her ears.

"Careful," Caius said, seeming to echo her thoughts.

She glanced at him before looking the doors over for some way through. The half-rotted wood stuck out at all angles and reeked of water and age. It looked ready to fall over.

"Noel got through here," she murmured, "and so we will be able to as well, right?"

Caius moved up beside her. There was a long pause; she looked at him out of the corner of her eye, listening to the steady rhythm of his breathing. Then he raised a hand, waving it backward in the universal gesture for "move back", and she obeyed, putting some distance between herself and the doors. She didn't know what he was going to do, but if he wanted her to move away, then there was at least a chance of it being risky.

A look of concentration fixed on his face, he lightly tapped the wood with one hand, then gave it another, harder tap. It creaked in response. He lifted one arm and rammed his elbow into the spot where a lock hung; the door squealed and groaned loudly, and a gap appeared. Both doors trembled under the blow, even though she could tell he really hadn't struck them that hard, before the one on the right swung open.

Lightning came forward to stand beside him. "It takes force to get in," she murmured.

Caius shook his head. "This hasn't been opened–"

A very loud groan came from above, accompanied by the screech of straining metal. Lightning bolted through the gap, not stopping until she had nearly collided with the mud-streaked concrete wall, and slid on wet trash and mud as she gasped and looked back. Caius watched with her as the right door came crashing down, snapping in half as it fell, splinters flying, metal plates bouncing until they sunk into the wet earth.

She saw a look of irritation on her companion's face. "Many years," he finished, and grunted softly.

Lightning placed a hand over her heart, feeling it pounding.

After a few moments, she caught her breath and straightened out. "If it hasn't been opened in so many years, how did– oh." As she'd been speaking, she looked up, eyes tracing the top of the fortress-like wall ringing the Den, and saw where stones had been punched out or fallen from years of wear and tear. Noel had simply climbed using the holes left behind. "This place is _beyond_ disgusting."

"It is the ghetto, warrior," Caius murmured. She noticed, _really_ noticed, for the first time, that he had never once called her by her name to her face, even in Valhalla. "I doubt the Order cares what goes on here, despite what they may claim. It matters not what the people do to one another so long as they do not get out and spread their pain to the city of light." Voice dripping with scorn, he met her eyes. "The monsters will feast well tonight."

Stomach flipping over, she swallowed. "I have to save them," she whispered.

He nodded. "You will, but stay focused now."

Forcing her mind back on track, she headed north, deeper into the Den of Shadows, eyes darting around as she watched for monsters or chaos, but neither appeared. Something picked through discarded garbage in the corner and scampered away with a squeak as they approached. Long-abandoned shacks and buildings made of wood and metal towered around her, casting long shadows edged with the light from bare bulbs and dilapidated lamps. She shivered as she walked. What could possess Noel to come to this place of evil?

A ladder made of metal set against a building caught her eye, and she began to scale it.

"Are you sure?" Caius said behind her.

She hesitated and looked down at her. "I have to help him. Just wait in the shadows for now. I'll call if I need you. For now, though, just _stay hidden_."

All the force in her voice made it a command that communicated a warning against refusing her. Caius seemed reluctant, but he nodded and took a step forward. When the step landed, his body turned into a ghostly visage of its true shape, then further transformed into a wisp of chaos. This happened quick as a finger snap, and swept past her, curling like smoke, melding with the shadows; she continued climbing, and when she reached the top, it was just in time to see him curl into a shadow cast by the overhang of a building and vanish into it.

Lightning climbed atop the building to find a path made of wood leading further forward. Up here, the air seemed less dank than down below, and she had a clear view of the night sky. It seemed as though someone had laid a swath of the purest velvet and seen fit to throw handfuls of diamonds upon it, where they sparkled in a cloudless sky and transfixed her with their simple beauty.

For a moment, she did nothing else, just staring up into the infinite cosmos. She could even see where the arm of their home galaxy arched across the sky and the stars grew denser. Had she never left Cocoon, mankind would have never known of galaxies, or stars, or the universe, or that their planet and its star were but one system of so many making their way through the universe on an endless march.

She prayed that it would not go with Gran Pulse and the chaos at the end of the thirteen days.

She followed the wooden platforms deeper into the Den and grew aware of a presence keeping pace with her at her side. It took a moment, but she recognized it, and wondered what it was about her that this girl found so fascinating that she had to turn up at the oddest times. "Lumina," she murmured, "what do you want?"

Lumina swapped out a normal step for a skip, saying, "Oh, good, you're after Noel. I'd hoped you wouldn't leave that poor boy to rot away in the chaos."

Stopping, she whirled on the girl, but Lumina wasn't fazed. "What's it to _you_?"

Lumina clasped her hands, eyes sparkling. "He's got the Oracle Drive with him. Y'know, the one those Children of Etro were going on about, that showed you destroying the world?" Resting her clasped hands alongside her cheek, she sighed, smirking slightly. "You know how that goes. Anyone with half a brain knows that anything shown in one of those drives is bound to happen, even poor little Noel."

Lightning frowned. "Does it show him, too?"

"Better." Lumina's eyes widened. "It shows him _killing_ you."

There was silence. Lightning flexed her fingers. After so much time traveling, Noel should know better than to trust an Oracle Drive to show an unchanging future, yet something about this one had him set on killing her. Of _all_ the people she knew, _he_ should know that even that was a future that could be changed.

"He thinks I'm gonna destroy the world?"

Lumina giggled, opened her arms, and twirled around. Her coattails flew around her in streaks of black, echoing the scent of chaos that rolled off her like a choking mist. "Of course he does!" she said, and laughed this time. "He's got a good stake in that drive now. It's showing him a _good_ future!"

Lightning snarled softly. "He should know better. _Nothing_ is set in stone, not even what the drives show."

"Yeah," Lumina said, shrugging, "true. He should. But not this time."

"And why not?" Lightning demanded.

Lumina laced her fingers together and raised an eyebrow. "Tell you what…" A slow, sly smirk spread across her very pink lips. "Why don't you go look?" She raised a pale, slender arm and pointed to her right, off the edge of the building. Lightning took a breath, walking forward as if drawn by some unseen force. "Look down there at the pain and sorrow that has been wrought from the madness in that drive. He looks at every night, sits there on the cold, dirty ground, and remembers. Remembers what's been _lost_."

Lightning looked down into a tiny courtyard, cleaner than many of the others in the Warren. An assortment of bare bulbs and neon signs shed a strange light on a lone figure sitting cross-legged on the ground. In front of him, atop an old, dirty pillar of carved marble, perched an Oracle Drive, glowing white, projecting images into the air above it. As she watched, she saw herself, holding an enormous sword of light, and charging forward with a look of fierce anger in her eyes. As she brought it down and around, what was left of Gran Pulse suddenly cracked, pieces flying into space from the force of the blow.

The image shimmered, showing Noel finding the drive and confronting her. He leapt at her, they parried, and in a flash, he impaled her, through the torso, piercing her heart, leaving her bleeding out on the ground.

"It _does_ show me dying," she mumbled numbly.

The image changed, and now it showed a field of green grass littered with tiny white flowers. A girl with long, flowing, teal-colored hair and eyes as vibrant as the most precious emeralds, ran across the field and straight into the waiting arms of Noel, who clung to her and never let go.

Her breath left her in a rush as she understood. "So _that's_ it: if he kills me, he gets to see Yeul again," she said. "But Yeul is _trapped_."

"He doesn't know that, or that Caius's interference means he will _never_ see her again."

Her knees felt as though they wouldn't support her much longer. Fresh echoes of anger at Caius's foolishness came up inside her, raging like the bile of an angry stomach, before she forced it back down. "I won't let this future come to pass," she said firmly. "Noel is going to the new world. I will _not_ let him be responsible for sending all the other people in this world to a grave of chaos."

Lumina leaned into her field of view. "Then go down and settle it."

Without looking at the girl, she climbed swiftly down a ladder and skipped the bottom few rungs to land hard on the ground below. For a few moments, silence reigned. Noel did not look at her, did not speak, did not acknowledge her presence in any way, while all the while the Oracle Drive played the prophecy in an endless loop. Behind the glow of the drive, painted on the wall in red, was the same promise she had seen at the crime scene the first day.

"Noel?" she said. "What are you doing here?"

He still did not look at her. "The same thing I've been doing for a lot of years now, just waiting for the time when you come and try to stop me from carrying out what I must do." Now he moved, but only to look up. "You see, a real long time ago, I killed a friend, who had become the world's nemesis, to save us, but because I did what he wanted, I ended up destroying everything. Now everyone's going to die."

"So this is why you want to do it? To reunite with Yeul."

"If I kill you, the world is reborn, and…" There was silence; he sighed. "Yeah, I get to see Yeul again. But I can't just sit here and do nothing. That's what I did before. Hope never blamed me. Neither did Snow, even though–" Tone suddenly sharpening, shoulders stiffening, he continued in a harsher voice. "Even though I got Serah _killed_ just because _I_ couldn't stop playing around with the future. Because I believed in something that didn't exist."

Lightning felt cold all over. "Noel, you didn't do this. I did, more than you."

"Didn't I?" Suddenly rising to his feet, startling her into stumbling back, he turned on her. "I was the one who drove that blade into Caius's heart and _destroyed the world_. The worst you did was try to help us stop it. But now–" He pointed behind him at the drive still playing its images. "Look at that! There's a _future_. After I managed to take all our futures away, _now_ I can bring it back. You think I'm gonna let that go?"

Not sure what to say, she only stared at him.

"I'll be able to see her again." Something entered his eyes and filled his expression with pain. "I've done so much wrong that killing you won't mean a thing. What's one more life to destroy to see her again?" His arm dropped back to his side, where the fingers flexed against his hip. It was as though he couldn't sit still anymore, not with his prey so close, his goal so near. "She's going to hate me for killing you, but I don't care. Just being able to _look_ at her one more time will be worth the guilt I'll have to bear for the rest of my life."

Lightning barely had time to react before he leapt straight at her, but his rage had blinded him, made him clumsy to the point of only being able to give a sweeping strike – something she easily deflected while staring at him. There was no more feeling except regret for forcing him into this corner. He'd been there with Serah in her final moments and helped change the future. No wonder he blamed himself.

Knowing what had to be done, she said, "Go right ahead. You're not the only one bearing sins. I'm carrying around my share as well – taking innocent lives in supposed self-defense, sending my precious sister on a death march, and losing everything that makes me human." It wasn't entirely untrue. Embellished, maybe, but not untrue. "But you know that this isn't something you can do. You _can't_ kill me."

Noel hissed at her and swung his javelin in a more efficient arc. Lightning blocked it again. Compared to Caius's ferocity, this was like being attacked by an angry gorgon cub. She wanted to laugh. Had Noel grown so careless, or had she really become so honed by Caius's relentless war that this display didn't have the ability to bother her?

Grudging gratitude for Valhalla, for the first time, flickered inside her.

Noel attacked again, but she deflected it, kicked his javelin, and then slammed her knee into his chest. It lifted him clean off the ground and made him land on his hip. He rolled to his feet, grumbling something, and shook his head, probably to clear it. "I can't kill you?" He laughed, but it was cold. "Watch me!"

"You can't, because I'm Bhunivelze's servant, his war machine." Angling her blade across her body, she searched his eyes, waiting for the inevitable flare of fury. "Don't get in my way. I've killed plenty on my way here, and Caius put on a better show than _this_. You can't _touch_ me." Twisting the blade, she let the light dance along it gold-plated edge. "Get in my way, and I'll just cut you down."

The prodding seem to have worked, but seeing the fury appear in his eyes, she wondered if poking him like this was really the best idea. What if he suddenly summoned the skill and strength to accomplish his goal? What if he _did_ actually cut her down? _If you die, it's over_, Hope had told her when they had begun. _I've got no one to replace you, so don't go doing anything too reckless or out of your league. You're powerful, but you're still mortal_.

"You just watch me. I'll rip you _apart_."

She sensed Caius's presence in the shadows behind her, feeling him materialize into solid form as some of the ache of his chaos retreated away from her. She knew she had far more than a good chance to come out of this alive.

But to get him to release all that pent-up anger, she'd had to reopen old wounds.

She waited until he pounced, a warrior's cry raging from his throat, and the first strike both underlined her doubts and forced her to retreat a few steps as it came dangerously close to slashing her side. But then, perhaps Noel would prove to be a dangerous and worthy opponent after all.

* * *

_The dialogue between Lightning and Noel contains a mixture of tensai-shoujo's translation (used with her permission) and the English localization, along with my own original touches._


	11. The Sound of Grief

_**10 The Sound of Grief**_

Whenever the woman had fought in his presence before, it had been against him. He had never had the chance to see her fight before from the outside, as he did now. When Noel came at her, nearly cutting into the exposed flesh on her side, she deflected the strike, somewhat clumsily because of having to do it so quickly, backpedaled, and blocked another strike the boy had aimed at her throat.

It was then that Caius understood that Noel truly _was_ trying to kill her, _and_ that he was attempting to get it over as quickly as possible. He had known Noel all his life, though he not been seen by him until the boy was several years old, living in the same village. The last of the Yeuls had grown up strong, and Noel had been protective of her since he had first met her. Noel had always been the type to give up half his meal to a sickly friend, or go out hunting for many hours in search of food. He had always been there to help perform the traditional funeral rites of the Farseers when a friend finally passed from disease or starvation. Defiant in spirit as he had always been strong in body, the boy survived and thrived where others gave up and died, and that was how Caius had known, instinctively, that _this_ was the one to fulfill his dream.

Noel, however, refused to take a life, so steadfast in the belief that Caius also knew he could never be coaxed to run him through when the time finally came.

Hence had he needed to force the blade through his chest, armor and bone and muscle and all, as the boy screamed his horror and the world grew dark in more ways that just his loss of senses. Noel could not be _told_ to kill, he had to be _made_ to – the Liberator had driven him to that point now, as he could see, to where Noel fought blindly tooth and claw and tried to kill that which he blamed for his plight.

But even as Noel darted in and out like a cobra, he knew even this would not come to pass. The woman had done her best, but it was too much. Noel would lose his nerve. The fury would fade from his eyes and his anger would slip away into nothing as old morals stayed his hand from a killing blow.

Of course, she didn't _want_ him to succeed. She wanted him to release all his pent-up emotions, wear him down, and then force him into a corner to free him.

He could see that as clearly as the stars in the black sky.

Noel circled her like a wild animal, darting in and out, and the first time the ragged edge of his ancient javelin pierced her skin and spattered the ground with blood, Caius felt himself stiffen and bristle even as Noel hopped away. The woman released a choked gasp of pain as she patted a hand at the wound, blood streaking her skin and armor. If Noel made too many of those cuts, she would grow weak from loss of blood. She was too important to the future of mankind – this could _not_ be allowed to happen.

But he stayed rooted to the spot, safe in the black shadows for now, and waited. He could let this run its course and leave when she did, of course, do as she had asked and let her save Noel from the chaos. The boy would never need to know he still lived, or confront his ancient and imagined sins. He could live the rest of his life with a piece of his heart always blaming himself, and Caius could fade into the chaos and leave it be.

But there was a choice now where there would not be otherwise.

And to ignore it would only be one more thing he'd never forgive himself for. Noel deserved to know his madness was in vain and blame horribly misplaced.

The tussle continued in front of him, with the woman never making a wrong step despite Noel's fierce attempts at upsetting her balance. He came at her now, feinting to the left before shifting sharply to the right, but she reacted as fast and lowered her shield-shoulder into him. Noel grunted as he struck the shield, flailed when he dove under him, and landed with a _thud_ when she dumped him over his shoulder. It was like watching a sack of Pulsian wheat fall off a chocobo cart, and the boy made a graceless attempt to get up, all arms and legs.

He smirked, recognizing the move as one he had taught to the boy.

And it was one he had used a few times against Li–

He cut off his thoughts right there. Her name was not something he could just throw around. Hers was special: if he spoke it, if he _knew_ her as more than the great warrior who had stood against him without fear, he would place a name to the nameless. He refused to give her the satisfaction of knowing he considered her human, refused to give her that inch that could become a mile, and understood that if he thought it, he would say it, and the names wouldn't be just tags on a pair of fierce, faceless warriors.

Instead, he focused on the battle, in time to see Noel separate his javelin in two and slash at her from both sides in a pincer move. She grunted and tried to dodge, but he struck the side of her head with one of the blades. She fell to the side with the sharp _hnf_ of air rushing from her lungs. Obviously dizzy, she brought her legs under her, in time to block another strike aimed at her head. Swinging around, she fell on her back, then shoved both feet into his chest, forcing him to fall back. She returned to her feet, using the leftover momentum to right herself, and shook her head, no doubt to clear it, before facing him again.

It wasn't going to last much longer, Caius could see, and clearly – she was getting tired of the game, and Noel had begun to look irritated, weary, as though he _pleaded_ for her to bring a decisive end.

Then he charged again, and she met it.

The woman hooked her broken sword into the elegant and worn wings splayed out from the javelin's blade, yanked the boy to a halt, and rammed her knee into his chest. When Noel coughed violently, she twisted the blade to knock him back, slung around, and kicked his legs out from under him. This sent the boy stumbling back, trying to keep his legs under him, but she simply flicked her blade again and tripped him flat. Noel yelped and toppled onto his shoulder, rolled with the impact, and came up on his feet, panting.

The Liberator remained frozen in place, and waited.

Caius let his gaze rove over her for a moment. In the village of the moogles, she had looked as though she were wreathed in flame, surrounded by glowing flowers and shadows. Here, even in the trash of the ghetto, surrounded by the stench of decay and grime, even with blood painting her skin and her brow shimmering with sweat, she looked every bit the image of the legendary "Liberator".

As Etro had once made a very wise choice selecting this warrior as her champion, able to stand on even footing with _him_, it seemed that Bhunivelze, too, had chosen well.

Noel coughed again and swallowed hard. "You've gotten pretty tough. You really _are_ just a machine."

She shifted her weight. "Yes. My only purpose is to save Serah from the jaws of death. I don't care who or what I have to cut down on my way through. And that means you, too." Her voice did not quiver, even in the slightest, as she spoke words of half-truth. "But you're different. _You_ can go on to see a new future, even if I don't make it there. You can go to the new world."

"Giving…" Noel straightened and hefted his blood-painted javelin. "…I succeed in killing you."

"That is true," she said, quietly. "Yeul would want this, wouldn't she?"

Noel panted for a few moments until his breath slowed, and then he just looked at her in silence for a few beats longer. "No," he murmured, "she wouldn't. No matter what might come of me killing you, she'd never forgive me for such a crime." Locking her with a blank, hollow stare, hands quivering, he swallowed, and said, "My hands would be drenched in blood, and I'd embrace her, but it wouldn't–" He shook his head, shutting his eyes tight. "She'd _never_ forgive me, but I could see her again. And even _seeing_ her again would be– it would–"

The Liberator said, "You love her so much, then?"

"_Yes_!" Noel cried. "I do! And if it means I get to see her again, even if she won't look at me, I'll _destroy_ you!"

She swung her blade up and around.

Noel, looking furious, confused, and heartbroken, hefted his javelin again and slung it around once. The intensity of emotion in his eyes pierced Caius's heart to the core, despite the centuries-thick armor he had so carefully laid around it, and he knew what had to be done. Even if she convinced him he had no fault in this, Noel would still go on blaming himself, in some secret place in his heart, and that was something he could not allow to befall the boy he had known for so long.

Even if it summoned ancient nightmares, Noel – and by extension, himself – must be made to confront the bitter consequences of the world's state.

Caius hesitated no longer, swiftly stepping into the light pooled around the now-extinguished Oracle Drive, and spoke a single word in his firmest, strongest voice, stepping between the Liberator and the Shadow Hunter, sword called to his hand and coming around to stop the young man's javelin cold.

"_Enough_."

For a few moments, there was nothing, only the woman's breath quickening behind him and Noel panting from the exertion of their scuffle. Then, as though struck by a night terror, the boy gave a blood-chilling gasp of horror, eyes springing open, and stumbled back, falling slightly onto his knee as it bent behind him. The javelin came up to point right at Caius. Fear and fury roiled in his dark eyes; he panted, chest heaving.

"You," he said. "_You_! How could– it's not _possible_!"

Caius said nothing, curious as to what he would do.

"_I saw you die_!" And then, suddenly, Noel reacted, slinging his javelin around with enough force to knock the cruel blade away, and Caius sidestepped before returning to his original spot, determine to remain between him and the all-too-important woman still standing beside him. "You _died_! I _killed you_! You can't be alive! _Not after all this_! This _has_ to be an illusion, some kind of _trick_ of the chaos! Did I go _this_ _insane_?"

Angry, grieving, he punctuated every sentence by lashing out with his javelin, and Caius easily blocked every one of them, quickly draining the force out of his attacks. On the last, he landed close to the hilt, so Caius flicked his wrist and upset Noel's balance, making him scramble backward.

"Caius," he heard her say, sharply, at his back.

Noel lifted a dusty face from where it had bowed toward the dirt, ocean-blue eyes fixing him with a stare so hot with accusation that Caius did not dare make a sound or move an inch. "You did all this," he said, voice shaking. "_You_ did. I tried to kill her because of _you_. This cesspit exists because of _you_. Because _you_ killed Etro, everything fell apart. _How_ can you possibly be _back_?"

When the Liberator started to move past him, he blocked her way with one arm and pushed her back, gently but firmly. She grunted, but seemed to understand.

His sword vanished in a wisp of darkness, and he looked Noel right in the eye. It was time to offer nothing short of the truth to the boy's grieving spirit. Noel deserved it. "You knew even then that I was immortal. However, neither of us knew the true extent of my immortality, or what it meant."

Noel stared at him. "You don't have the Heart of Chaos anymore. Whatever explanation you got better make sense."

Caius kept his voice low and calm. "I am being kept here against my will by Yeul."

He snorted in obvious disdain. "Against your will? _Right_."

He said nothing and only gazed back.

Slowly, the anger melted off the young man's face, and he straightened, still looking wary, but no longer as though he would pounce at the slightest provocation. Instead, he looked confused, anxious. For a moment, Caius felt bitterness rise up inside of him again. This _was_ his fault. Noel had always been realistic, but more optimistic than cynical, eager to live, never with the mind of condemning others. To see him curled up in this shadowy den, driven mad by the images of an Oracle Drive, reminded him of himself, driven to senselessness by centuries of Yeul's visions and many more centuries of her endless deaths.

"Didn't you get what you wanted?" Noel sounded small.

It was a testament to sheer force of will, being able to stand there with an expressionless face, while his heart churned and raged. _I was a fool_, he wanted to shout, proclaim to the world how horrible the things he had done truly were, but he carefully maintained self-control.

"On the contrary," he said, "were it not for her coming for me–" Here, he tipped his chin toward the warrior behind him. "–I would still be trapped in the temple with all the Yeuls who had ever known me. We are all chained to the chaos. They will not allow me to die, and they cannot allow me to be free. They have decided, and I have agreed, that the chaos is where we belong."

Noel stared at him. "Is… is my… is the one I know–" He took a breath. "Is she trapped, too?"

"The girl you love is there. She cannot leave, though she wishes it with all of her heart. She has wanted to see you to fulfill her promise, but she is as much a prisoner as any of us."

The look of grief and horror that came across Noel's face felt as though somehow had taken a sword and slashed across his heart. The centuries-old armor could not protect him from the pain. Noel reeled back, making a choked sound, a cry of anguish, and his bones seemed to give out as he collapsed to his knees and pressed his hands to the sides of his head. Another cry, this one louder and harsher, escaped him – a sound of sorrow, of insurmountable pain, that echoed thinly within the filthy walls that surrounded them.

"She can't _leave_!" he cried, the horror thick in his voice. "Even if I _had_ killed Lightning and even if that had been true, she _still_ wouldn't have been able to get free! I _still_ wouldn't have seen her! Oh, Yeul–" A cracked sob left his lips, and the depth of what he felt was painted plain as day.

Noel had fallen in love with the girl at the end of the world, deeply and truly, absolutely devoted to her, only to have her taken away by an early death. Now, even when the new world came, even if he glimpsed her one last time and fulfilled her promise, it would be little more than a passing dream. Now, he understood. Noel knew the truth now, and there was no escaping the fate that had been brought upon them.

With obvious difficulty, Noel pulled himself back together before lifting his gaze and letting his hands drop to his knees. His dark eyes blazed with feeling.

"How does it feel, knowing you're tearing lives and worlds apart? Was it worth it? Huh? Do you still think her fate was forced on her and she didn't want to live again?"

With great effort, Caius held his tongue, feeling rage deep in his soul.

"You ruined _everything_!" Noel cried, and then sobered as he rose to his feet again. "Fine. I'll never get to see her again, but there was always hope. Not that you know what hope is anymore, probably. You don't get it. But hey, at least I did what you wanted, right? I killed Etro and destroyed the world."

It had been a long time since Caius had allowed the depth of what he had done sink in. He could still remember the moment when realization had struck, when something had clamped his cold heart in a vise and began to squeeze until he would have been crushed, overcome by feeling, raging against his fate, and they had dragged him back, over and over, until he understood his fate, accepting it, deserving nothing less.

"Noel," he said, "I am responsible for all of this. There is no one to blame but me. You are not to blame. You have done nothing wrong. I forced you to this. If you must have someone to blame–" Taking a deep breath, he fixed his eyes right on Noel. "–you know to whom it must be directed."

Noel seemed to stare without seeing for a long moment, then he said, quietly, "I see one Oracle Drive prophecy and I lose it. I couldn't deal with Snow and Hope never blaming me for what happened. Yeul smiled even when she died, and what do I do?" He curled his fingers into a fist and pressed his wrist to his forehead, eyes closing. "I decide to kill someone to try and change what happened. I wanted to see her again, save her, so badly, that I didn't care what I had to do to make it happen."

He heard the woman behind him sigh; resisting the urge to look at her, he kept his eyes on Noel.

"I had to do something. I had to fix what happened, bring her back, save her from this, make sure that what I did didn't keep her from–" His eyes flew open and the hand fell away from his forehead. "I turned into _you_. Even though I hated what you'd done, I turned into _you_. I ended up doing the same thing, and all this time– it wasn't– it wasn't– I wasn't–" His voice suddenly cracked, eyes clouding with emotion. "_You_ were to blame, not me. _You_ did this and I did nothing except try to kill Lightning, an innocent."

Caius waited a few moments before speaking again. "You cannot change what has happened. You can only move forward and into the future she is leading you toward."

Noel's eyes darkened. "Yeul is suffering because of you, and I should just give up and move on?"

Caius said nothing, only nodding, once.

Noel was still holding his javelin at his side, but it unfolded again with a _snick_. Caius took a step back, more to be close to his charge if Noel should make a sudden move, and Noel leapt straight up into the air with the enviable ease he had always shown, one arm extended to aim while the other threw his javelin. Arcing over their heads, it sang as it flew, the stabilizing wings ringing through the air, and there was a _crunch_ and sound of shattering glass.

He heard a gasp as he looked over his shoulder.

The javelin had been thrown with enough force to pierce the Oracle Drive. Pieces of beautifully carved enamel and gold-embossed metal lay scattered on the ground. Electricity arced in _pops_ across the hole punched in the center of the device's internal workings. His javelin had embedded itself in the filthy dirt near the wall at an angle, the back end wavering from the impact. No one spoke or hardly breathed for a very long minute.

It was the woman behind him who broke the silence. "Why do this?"

"Because… Caius is right." Noel moved like a Cie'th now, shuffling toward the broken drive and laying a hand upon it. His voice was flat; Caius knew the last thing he wanted to know was admit _he_ was right. "This isn't what should be happening. I'll never see Yeul again, and I'll never be with her, but…" His shoulders shook, just once. "She wouldn't want me to do anything else."

Caius stared at him, feeling a tiny weight lift from his shoulders, seeing the boy stand there, accepting his fate and ready to move forward. It crippled him that Yeul could not be there – that was what he had fought for, so long ago, after all, with her final promise being his lone drive – but Noel was strong. He could bear the uncertainty, and he would recover from the grief of his loss.

"I'm sorry, Noel." It was Lightning – he chastised himself in his heart, cursing his thoughts for slipping, but now her name was there, engraved, chained to the woman standing before him, and not easily removed – who spoke this time. "I backed you in a corner. I just… I had to get you to release all your pain."

"I know," he said, back still turned to them.

It was then that a flare of light, like one of the flowers of the deep forest, appeared in the shattered Oracle Drive, surrounded as it was by wisps of whispering darkness. Caius felt the prickle of chaos, but noted a complete lack of hostility. Instead, it seemed to twist and turn, taking shape, and as Noel gasped and took a few steps back, it finally revealed a familiar shape – a girl in a plain outfit of white with long, teal-colored hair, who reached out for the boy and brushed her fingertips on the back of his hand.

Noel choked out her name, mouth falling open.

"You did the right thing, Noel. I know it hurts." She spoke in an impassive voice, eyes soft, but expression tinged with sorrow. Her hand moved again, fingers closing around his, and his mouth moved as though he were trying to speak. "Lightning will help you through this. Please have faith. We _will_ see each other again, once more, before this is over." And she began to fade, her fingers sliding out of his, smiling, but with deep, sorrowful eyes.

He found his voice, reaching for her. "No, please, _wait_! Not yet!"

But the chaos with the heart of a star winked out of existence and spread out into the ghetto, vanishing. The boy's knees shook, and then he collapsed on them on the dirt. His hands clutched the edge of the small platform where the broken drive still sat, no longer sparking. His shoulders began to shake again. No one said a word; Caius turned away, leaving whatever was to follow to Lightning.

"Her promise will be fulfilled, in time," she said, quietly. "Are you ready to walk out of the shadows now?"

There was a pause. "You're _not_ a machine after all."

"It's true that Bhunivelze cut away my emotions, probably to make a better servant, but as far as I can tell, I'm no machine." Her voice softened as she spoke her next words. "Come on, Noel. I can't watch everything. I need you to keep an eye on Luxerion. No more hiding in the shadows."

"No more hiding." He heard Noel rise to his feet and looked over his shoulder to see him brushing off his clothing as he looked at Lightning. "I know the truth now."

Caius did not miss the way his eyes darted accusingly to his own.

"I can't fight those monsters that come out of the emissions, though." Shivering, he folded his arms and rubbed his hands up and down them. "Those things are really powerful. I'm pretty sure they'd suck the life out of me before I could get very close. There's no way I'm dealing with _those_."

"Caius is capable of getting rid of those monsters. That's part of the reason he's here with me now."

Noel looked at him again. "Yeul let you out, huh, for that?"

"More or less," he responded.

Noel shrugged one shoulder and looked back at Lightning. "Let's get out of here, then." Turning, he plucked his javelin from the soil and returned it to its sheath. "I'm sick of being surrounded by this. Now all it's gonna do is remind me. Lightning…" Hesitating, he looked at her again. "I'm sorry. It was wrong of me to do this. I'm…" He gritted his teeth. "I'm so_ ashamed_ of what I just did, _tried_ to do…"

"Don't worry about it," she said, and tapped him on the shoulder with one fist. "It's not the first time someone I know tried to kill me, and it won't be the last."

Noel began to shake his head, long dark hair flying wildly about with the gesture. "_No_, you don't understand. You know long I plotted this? I had– _ugh_!" In a sudden show of fury, he whirled and kicked a pile of rotted trash. It flew apart, some of it hitting the wall with soft _splats_. "I had _nightmares_ about it, _dreams_ about your blood turning the dirt crimson and holding Yeul even though I– I just– _killed_ you! My hands were all bloody, but she was pure white, and she looked so _sad_ and I kept– I clung to her, I cried, because she'd never–"

His words devolving into a strangled cry, he kicked out again. This time, he collided with rusted can that nearly exploded when he touched it, flying through the air to smash against the wall. The sound of it landed sounded tinny and pathetic in the silence that followed.

Caius repressed a grunt. Lightning, for her part, looked concerned, eyes widening.

"That's _not_ something you just say 'don't worry' about to and move on!" Noel turned on her with raging, grieving eyes, fists shaking where he had tightened them at his sides.

Lightning swiftly regained her composure and placed her hands on her hips. "Noel, stop that."

"I can't," he mumbled, sounding like a child, "it's too much–"

"Noel," she said, firmly, "_enough_."

The boy stopped going on, jaw slamming shut, and his eyes darted between them. Caius stood immobile, making sure his expression was stern and solid, but inside, he understood, too well. Noel would need time to recover from centuries of plotting for blood, getting drunk off the high of madness, to adjust to the new nightmares that would come now that he had _finally _seen Yeul, and lost her just as fast.

The three of them left the dankness of the Den of Shadows behind. Caius took up the rear, noting that Noel, despite having obviously shed a great burden, still walked as though weighed down with shame. He sighed at the sight. He had done what he could to free him, from the burden he had carried for so many centuries. It was up to Noel to do the rest, as no one could do it for him. No one could brave the nightmares to come but him.

And then, his thoughts drifted to Lightning.

_Lightning_. He had never called her that in her presence, not once, and had only voiced her name one time, on the shores of Valhalla, when confronting her sister and Noel. Even in his mind, he had skirted it. Now, though he had yet to speak it, he had forged some sort of filament that tied itself to some spot deep in his heart no one else could see. No longer was she simply "Etro's champion" or "warrior goddess", or "Liberator" as she now was. Titles would continue to leave his mouth, but in his mind, her name was now firmly rooted, and he understood that there was no taking it back, and that presented a small problem.

If he wasn't careful, her name would slip his lips, and that would be the end of it. She was a great warrior, but still human and without the immortality that he had. She could be killed, though she had no doubt had immense power and durability bestowed upon her. And if she died, the world would end and his meager hopes would be crushed.

He sighed again, softly, ending it with a stifled groan.

He would have to protect her now. Lightning was a woman, more than a faceless soldier or warrior selected by some creature more powerful than her, more than the steel wall he had beat vainly against in Valhalla, more than the fierce tempest he had raged against like the flares of the sun. He had hoped that perhaps he could steal away after a few days and bury himself back in the chaos, ignoring the state of the world until the end, but now he saw no way for that to happen. He would be with her for the foreseeable future. He would do his best to keep her alive. This, he had already decided, but now, he felt it, stronger, and familiar.

Like when he had taken his oath of Guardianship millennia ago, when he had sworn to protect Yeul forever, given his life away in service to another for eternity.

But this was different. This had a time limit. He would make the best of these final days, keep her alive, and in the process, he would ease Yeul's burden. He would try to atone for something he could never be forgiven for, and he would do it with what dignity he had intact.

At the end, into the chaos he would go, gracefully, and he would not look back when it was time for them to part.

Sealing those thoughts away, he followed in silence.


	12. The Shining Dark

_**11 The Shining Dark**_

Vanille woke into the darkness of her bedchamber and didn't know where she was for several heartbeats. A choked cry escaped her, and as the sleep-paralysis eased, she sat bolt upright, clambering away from her pillow as though it had scalded her, taking her sheets with her, and hunkered at the foot of the bed, swaddled in blankets, knees folded to her chest with her arms clamped against her.

The dreams. They had come again.

Vanille never really remembered them clearly. While she slept, they were terrifying; as she woke, as they began to fade, she caught glimpses, and they seemed so silly, but all that was left behind once they settled down to become no more than hazy memories in the back of her mind was the sensation of terror they brought in the night. There were rarely words spoken that she could understand. Usually, they were just surreal images of light and dark. Tonight had been no different.

Someone knocked at her door; she looked at it and composed herself. "Come in," she said.

It opened a crack, and a cleric – young, maybe too thin, but loyal to her and always concerned – leaned inside just enough for her to see him. "Are you alright, my lady?"

She forced a smile. "Yes, I'm fine, Cecil. I was just having a… a dream."

Cecil looked far from reassured. A frown creased his brow. Cecil had been a member of the Order for nearly two hundred years and had been assigned to be among those who helped care for her at the beginning, so he knew her well and all about her nightmares. He had to be only a little older than her, yet he moved and spoke with the airs of a far older soul than she, and his wisdom and concern flattered her.

She knew he probably cared for her more deeply than was proper, but knew better than to let on.

"Is there anything you need?" he said.

Letting the covers slip from where they had wrapped partly around her head, she smiled wider. "No, it's alright," she said. "I just need some time to recover. I'll be back asleep in just a few minutes."

But Cecil knew from experience that it wasn't going to be that simple and came into the chamber, closing the door gently behind him. "You need your rest, but you are far too frightened to sleep. My lady…" Trailing off, he looked at the floor, then back at her and sighed. "There are herbs in the kitchens that can help – natural remedies that will leave no ill effects. I will fetch them for you so your dreams do not trouble you tonight, if you wish."

Maintaining the smile, she nodded. "Alright. Thank you, Cecil."

The frown left his features. "I will return shortly." He slipped out, leaving her alone with her thoughts.

The smile slipped off her face, and she blinked, letting the tears stinging her eyes come forward. They did not fall, however, drying as fast as they had come. She touched the back of her wrist to each eye to make sure they were dry, then gazed out the window at the velveteen, star-filled sky spread out overhead. Long ago, in Oerba, when she had been just a little girl, she and Fang had gone out into the village at night, in defiance of the communal elders, to see the stars and watch them glitter on the water. She longed to do the same again, but the clerics were so afraid that she would be kidnapped, lost, hurt, or killed that for her to sneak out would cause a riot.

Besides, even if they overindulged her, they adored her and took care of her. Though she hated this existence, it at least was a good one. She was a slave in a gilded cage with no free will, but at least in the final days leading up to the final rites, she would be loved.

Fresh tears stung her eyes; hating them and her weakness, she battled them back.

She heard a whisper in the corner of the room, saw a shadow appear on the chair she used to dress in the morning, and managed a small smile. Lumina came and went as she pleased, a prisoner to no one, reminding her of herself so many years ago. Carefree, she was, and always seemed to know what people were thinking, what was going on, and how to make them squirm or smile or laugh. She played pranks on everyone until she grew bored, left it for a few weeks, and then started the cycle over again. Full of spirit, vim, and vigor, she was Vanille's proxy, her window to the outside world, and the one friend she still had.

"Can't sleep, huh?" Lumina sat with her heels on the chair and arms wrapped around her legs.

Vanille sighed. "Some nights are worse than others."

The girl was hard to see in the darkness, so Vanille switched on the lamp on her nightstand and turned it to a dim setting. Lumina's big blue eyes met hers.

"Lightning and Caius coming here didn't cause any nightmares, did they?" she murmured. Vanille shook her head; Lumina nodded. "Good. It's hard enough for you to sleep sometimes without thinking about that thing being alive–"

"Thing?" She sighed. "You mean Caius?"

"Yeah. He's a 'thing' now. He's part of the chaos, you felt it. He'll do the same thing that all the regular chaos does and infect everyone he touches with despair. Even Lightning won't be immune." Lumina sounded miserable.

Vanille frowned. "He didn't _seem_ dangerous," she said. "He even, sort of, apologized to me."

Lumina shrugged. "Give it time."

There was silence for a few moments. Vanille let the scents on the air waft over her, breathing in the scent of water, earth, stone, and vegetation. She longed to be among it again so much that her bones ached. "At least Fang seems to be okay," she murmured. She hesitated, then said, more quietly, "And Hope is alright. I'm so glad Hope is alright."

"He's still stuck up in that Ark being Bhunivelze's plaything."

Her blood turned to ice water; she twisted to face Lumina and leaned over to grip the girl's arm. The chamber was just big enough for a bed, the chair, and a small bit of pacing; this gesture required a small bit of stretching, which made her muscles twitch, but she didn't care. "What do you mean, he's Bhunivelze's plaything?" Feeling the color disappear from her cheeks, her mouth went dry. "Lumina, what's going on?"

A giggle left the girl's throat; she felt colder than before.

"Oh, nothing. You'll find out."

Vanille released her and turned her back. The last time she had seen Hope with her waking eyes, he had been fourteen, growing up a little faster than he had intended. Hands linked with the other l'Cie, he had watched in blank horror as she and Fang had chosen to fulfill their Focus, ignoring the pull of Etro's gate as the world had begun to come to an end. After that, he had come, growing taller every year, to the base of the crystal pillar just to stare up and make promises he probably couldn't keep.

Vanille missed Fang, a woman closer than family, part of her existence for as long as she could remember, dearly, but there was a much different ache in her heart for Hope.

The words coming from Lumina's mouth had implications too horrible to comprehend.

Both resolve and doubt trickled into her heart. She _had_ to be there for the final rites on the last day. Only by washing away the pain of those trapped in the chaos could Hope and the others live peaceful lives. Perhaps Fang's beloved Lady Luck would end up being real and smile upon her, allowing her to see him one more time before she died, but another part of her hoped that did not come to pass. She wouldn't be able to bear it then.

And when she went through with it, _never_ would she see him again.

But he would be safe and happy in a new world.

Guilt and unwanted emotion bubbled up inside, but she pushed it back down.

"How is the world?" she finally managed to say, blinking to clear her eyes. "The chaos in Yusnaan? And here?"

"Every day it gets stronger. Although, I guess Lightning was able to save Noel from the chaos."

Vanille felt a weight lift off her shoulders a little. "Good."

Lumina slid off the chair and climbed onto the bed instead. Vanille, used to living communally in Oerba, did not mind when she did these sorts of things. It wasn't like either of them had any real sense of personal space, anyway – Vanille because of living in Oerba, and Lumina, simply because of how she was. The two sat in silence for a long while, and she was just opening her mouth to ask a question when a knock came at the door. Vanille, knowing who it was, called him in, and Cecil stepped inside the room.

"Here you are, my lady." He pressed an insulated cup, warm from the contents, into her hand. She inhaled a strong scent of herbs from the cup as she examined it.

"Thank you, Cecil," she said, and smiled up at him. "You may go." She drank from the cup after he left, ignoring the temperature that hovered in the too-hot range, and drained it before setting it on her nightstand. Ignoring Lumina now, she crawled back up to her pillows, dreading what night could bring, but knowing she had to rest. Very soon, she would be able to rest in the chaos for eternity, but until then, she needed to gather her strength for the final day and the very important rite she still had to complete.

Lumina clambered across the bed and sat on her hands and knees beside her. Vanille looked at her. The girl said, "Is there anything else you need from me?"

Vanille smiled. Lumina always made this offer. She knew the woman couldn't leave the sanctum and explore, and the clerics shielded her from so much, so only Lumina told her the truth. They didn't like her worrying their saint and tried to stop her every day, but stopping a girl made of chaos from flitting wherever she pleased was like trying to catch the wind. She merely giggled and danced out of reach. Sometimes she twiddled her fingers and cocked her hip so much like a rebellious child, knowing no one could stop her.

"I think I'm alright," she said.

Lumina sat back on her heels. "I'll come see you tomorrow. We can play some games."

Vanille slipped a hand out from under the covers and patted the girl's head, smiling wider. This was the one person out of everyone here who could still make her forget her worries. "I'd like that."

Lumina clapped her hands. "Okay! Sleep well, Vanille."

Vanille watched her vanish in a swirl of chaos before switching off the lamp and eventually falling into a deep sleep.

* * *

Lightning walked aimlessly for a few minutes, aware of Noel trying to keep a conversation going and herself trying to indulge him, but her mind wasn't in it. Her thoughts drifted into the Den of Shadows, replaying the confrontation between the boy and his former mentor over and over. She tried to make sense of what she had seen, but she could not make what had unfolded before her eyes line up with the man she knew – or, thought she knew, she reasoned. Caius had been calm, collected, and unreadable, and yet–

She remembered how he had spoken to her the temple and realized he had spoken the same way again here. His voice was calm, but somewhere buried within was the burr of emotion, carefully sealed, sounding like herself so long ago when she had been stoic yet angry and young, so young…

Caius had disobeyed her, rebelled against her request, and yet he had seemed to facilitate Noel's salvation from the chaos in ways she did not yet fully understand.

She looked over her shoulder to see him gaze back at her.

_Never forget_, the voice whispered in the back of her head, but now it sounded hollow. The man behind her had done so much to cause so much suffering, and he had done his best to destroy her in Valhalla, but what she saw in his eyes now was completely different from what she was used to seeing there. Whatever it was or whatever it meant, it teased and tormented her, and she wanted to know _more_.

Confused and unsure, she looked back at the path ahead of her, but had to fight her thoughts and guide them toward the path they needed to be on.

Snow was still in Yusnaan. She had to find a way to save him yet. He was the patron of the city, ruling it from inside a palace so heavily guarded that she would have to find another way in than just walking through the front door. It would be tricky to accomplish, but she _had_ to start working on a way to get in there, and soon. Thirteen days were not a long time, and she had lost one already to chasing Snow and making Odin and his chocobo self well again. That left twelve days, soon to be eleven, and then ever fewer…

And what of Vanille, and Sazh, and Fang? She needed to return to Sazh to further investigate the boy. She had to go to the Dead Dunes and look for Fang. And she had to figure out why Vanille was being so secretive and how to save her from the clutches of the Order.

There was no way she would leave her comrades behind.

In that moment, she resolved that, when the first train left for Yusnaan, she would go there and try to formulate a plan to save her friend. When Serah returned, Snow had to be there, had to greet her with his smile and strong arms, and they needed to be laughing and happy together. She needed to see Snow being the big hero again and swearing that he would always protect everyone around him until he got on her nerves – not the man she had confronted in the grand central room of the palace with his empty eyes and harsh voice.

She wondered if she would be able to reach him and prayed to whoever or whatever was listening to give her the strength she needed to save him.

When she looked at Noel again, it was to see him staring expectantly at her.

She blinked. "I'm sorry," she said. "Did you say something, Noel?"

He sighed. "Nothing, it's not important."

"Noel, please tell–"

"No, seriously, it's nothing important. I was just mumbling."

Lightning saw that they had exited the Warren and were now walking through the North Station. A clock quietly struck the hour; she squinted at the station's clock to see that it was one in the morning. She sighed without really meaning to. For the next twenty-nine hours, she would need to occupy herself somehow, as well as stay rested, her stomach kept full with good food, and save as many people as she could.

"Noel, how often do the chaos emissions come?"

Noel hummed softly. "Nightly."

"How often nightly?"

"Well…" He scratched the back of his neck. "Two or three times."

Lightning hissed through her teeth. "I've already dealt with one. That means there's going to be another one around here somewhere. Where do they pop up most often?"

"Don't know." He looked sheepish. "I honestly didn't leave the Warren much over the past three hundred years–"

"_Three_ hundred?" Lightning stopped and stared in dismay. "You've been dealing with this for three hundred years?"

"Actually, more than that. Closer to three-thirty or so." He nodded. "Since Hope left."

Caius moved past her to stand near the corner, where the shadows shrouded him and blurred his outline. She looked at him, but he had returned to his guard duty, looking casual, but she saw the intensity in his eyes. She could occupy herself with Noel knowing full well nothing would sneak up on them.

"Was Hope that big of an influence?"

"Oh, yeah." Noel looked uncomfortable – probably coming across unwelcome memories as he spoke. "Hope tried to remain the leader of mankind. He encouraged people to stay on the Ark and did his best to be a good leader to us. Without him, we might've lost our minds, but Hope kept his head." Shifting his weight, he looked at his shirt and plucked the fabric absently. "Snow and I did our best to keep the chaos monsters at bay, but as more years went by, they got more powerful, until we couldn't anymore."

She tilted her head. "I know you didn't stop completely."

"No. Hope worked with some scientists to develop new technology to combat the monsters. He said it was a form of 'AMP technology', whatever that is."

Lightning smirked slightly. "Antimatter manipulation principle", or AMP, had been the technology behind her long-lost grav-con unit and what powered the manadrives responsible for PSICOM and Guardian Core "magic". Once the people had come to Gran Pulse, where such abilities generally manifested naturally, AMP technology had fallen out of everyday use. To hear that it had the ability to manipulate chaos – or, at least, Hope had probably theorized it did – didn't really surprise her, considering what it did in her time.

"Did it ever work?" she said.

Noel raised an eyebrow. "He got close, but was dragged away by something that looked like you before it could be completed. After that, people moved off the Ark, and the project was abandoned."

"Something that looked like me," she muttered. "Vanille and Sazh mentioned something like that, too. Some sort of 'imposter' that drove the scientists insane and got Hope sent away."

"Nobody knows what it was, though. That's the problem."

"But it wasn't me. You knew that."

Noel visibly hesitated. "Not at the time. Look…" Sighing, he stared into her eyes. "The last I heard of you, Caius said he'd killed you with his own hands." He gave a sidelong glance to the warrior standing in the corner, but he did not look back. Noel continued, "At first, I'd thought he was lying, but then nobody can find you no matter where we looked. I thought you _were_ dead, so this _thing_–" He gritted his teeth and sucked air through them. "Lightning, it looked like you, and it came after us. We thought it was a ghost. It bothered the scientists. It came after me, Snow, and Hope, but it only snagged Hope so we never saw him again."

"I wonder why," she murmured, looking away now toward the water.

"Because before that, he'd been looking for you for over a century. When I told him what Caius said, he refused to believe it," he said. She glanced at him in time to see him frown at her. "That man… he never gives up on _anyone_. He didn't give up on Vanille and Fang, he said. Always saying how much he missed Fang's snarkiness and Vanille's smile. Always saying he missed you because he remembers you giving him strength." A soft snort escaped him. "All based on memories. That was all he had left."

Lightning walked away from the station, reeling from this information. Hope had never given up on her? He would have had every reason to believe what Caius had said, yet he had continued to search. After so many centuries, no wonder he had been so easily taken in. Hope had a logical mind, but also one still burdened by emotion… or, it had been, before Bhunivelze had gotten hold of him.

Her steps faltered. The ghost had taken him away, and next, Bhunivelze had him.

"The chaos has come again. Look."

Lightning snapped out of her thoughts at the sound of Caius's voice at her shoulder. Ahead, across the water around which the city was built, she saw the lights of the city flickering and wavering, a bloom of shadow reaching into the sky and blotting out the stars. Gasping softly, she ran forward to the railing and caught herself on it, leaning over it slightly. The strong scent of chaos wafted on the breeze to her.

"Can we get over there in time?" she said, and was already running, taking the route to the right. The bloom of chaos was somewhere just to the south of the restaurant district.

"I can," was Caius's flat response. Lightning wondered if she had somehow asked a stupid question, but just then, he continued. "I can make my way there before you. At the very least, I can hold them until you come. I am not entirely strong enough to take them down on my own, but I can come very close, and you can finish–"

"_No_," she hissed, blocking his way with one arm. "You _stay_."

He was in front of her so fast she nearly crashed into him. Noel made a concerned sound in his throat. "And leave you to face whatever lies ahead alone?" Caius demanded.

She looked up into his blazing eyes and realized she had said and done exactly the wrong thing. She chided herself, realizing she had to be more careful. In this particular subject, Caius was high-strung and sensitive, no doubt uneasy about her having to face the consequences of his sins at all, much less risk being killed by them. Lightning had spoken out of instinct – not just to keep her fated enemy away from her, but also in an attempt to turn down help, when she had already, if grudgingly, _requested_ his help.

This was something that needed to change. Caius had been her enemy once, but right now, he helped keep her alive.

"Sorry," she said with some effort. "Let's go."

Feet pounding on the pavement, she followed the stone through empty streets and took the steps two at a time to arrive in a swirling mass of chaos just past the archway. Instinctually, she threw an arm over her eyes, choked by the oppressive darkness threatening to crush her chest. Distantly, she heard cries of fear; she forced her eyes open and saw people, some of them garbed in the robes of the Heretics, and a pair of sentries, all of them spread out and trying to stay as far away from the monster in the center.

The roar of the winds of chaos drowned out all the other sounds; she managed a battle cry that turned the creature's attention to her, where its four pink eyes blazed in the shadows.

"You're plannin' to kill _that_?" Noel cried in obvious alarm somewhere behind her.

She lunged, dodging tentacles and a clawed forepaw, but missed the first strike when it suddenly hunched back, the forelimbs nearly touching the stone, and roared an unearthly sound that rattled the stones around her. Shaken and disoriented for a moment, she stumbled, and it slapped her aside. The pavement came up too fast; she struck and saw flickers of light accompanying the shock of pain.

Regaining her senses, she looked up to see it lash out with its fluttering mass of tentacles and snatch wisps of shadow out of the bystanders. A sentry dropped his gun and clawed at the stone, trying to flee, but the beast came forward so fast it was like a striking cobra and picked him up in its jaws. A flash of light and gush of shadow came, and then the limp, broken body of the man clanked to the ground.

"Lightning, there's _another one_!" Noel's voice came tinny through the roaring; gasping in shock, Lightning looked and indeed saw another of the beasts, all tentacles and blazing pink eyes, staring her down from maybe a foot away and abruptly lunging at her with a snap of ghostly teeth.

With no other choice, she fell straight back and hit hard, knocking the wind out of her.

Caius's familiar snarl of battle tore through the chaos as though splitting time and space, and the beast went toppling onto its side when a sudden blast of silvery-pink light hit it on the neck. Noel came flying from above, javelin piercing the creature's head, and chaos spewed into the air. The beast squealed, making her teeth clench, and shook its head. Noel valiantly hung on to his javelin and stayed right where he was, but she saw his eyes roll about and flutter closed for a brief moment.

Again Caius attacked, and this time the beast turned and headbutted him.

Lightning wasn't too concerned – the sheer amount of punishment the man could take amazed her, and he had the extra benefit of being drenched in chaos and Yeul's favored Guardian – but she still felt a twinge of surprise when he landed with a grunt and struggled back to his feet.

If Caius could be hurt by them, then these beasts were more powerful than she had initially thought.

She felt an echo of fear in her heartless void.

She turned in time to block a snap of teeth with her sword; it hit with a _clang_ and bounced off. Snarling, the beast gave up trying to bite her and whipped her off her feet with one of its tentacles instead.

Rolling, she flipped over her shoulder and stood, dizzy.

Then it was on her, chaos pouring off its injured head, having tossed Noel aside before pinning her with a forepaw and curling two tentacles around her arm. Its jaws opened, then closed around her, but she got her shield up and fit it into the teeth before the jaws closed. It screamed at her, shaking its head back and forth, but she held on with all her might, trying to work her arm free of the tentacles.

Caius suddenly appeared and brought his broadsword down with a resounding _clang_ that chopped the tentacles off.

The beast screamed; she hissed and slashed across its nose.

Chaos sprayed into the air as the beast reeled back. Caius had moved again, this time standing between Noel and the other beast, holding it at bay much as he had outside the temple in the Wildlands, and Noel ducked around him to leap onto its side and drive his javelin into its flesh. Lightning had no more chances to look, though, before she had to swing her sword with both hands to bash the broken end into the beast's head, over and over and over, taking brief seconds to chop off tentacles, before aiming for an eye and slashing it open.

The eye burst with a horrifying _pop_, and chaos streamed out of the hole. Screaming and more enraged than ever, it lunged and snapped its teeth.

Briefly, she stared down its throat and saw pitch blackness somewhere in the swirling, brassy mass of shadow that made up its body – the only spot of complete blackness in its whole body.

Moving on instinct, she nimbly dodged its flailing tentacles and dove through the gushing chaos to instead hack at its side, where the ribs would normally be. Chaos spurted like blood, but she kept at it, choked as she was by the constant spray of shadow in her face. Suddenly, she heard a squeal of pain, and her blade sunk deep into the body of the monster before her. At her side, Caius appeared like a firefly in the darkness, bringing his sword down with the kind of force that made her flinch, and broke open the beast's side beside her sword. Together, they lifted their swords again and brought them down. Caius made the hole bigger; she drove her sword straight in.

The dark heart of the creature burst, and the beast vanished.

Noel landed on the ground, coughing and sputtering, barely staggering to his feet in time to avoid the claws of the remaining beast. Lightning decided to try the same strategy and dodged tentacles as she began to hack at its side. Noel regained his strength enough to chop off a tentacle, then slash across the monster's nose. Squealing and making strange sputtering sounds, it snapped its jaws at him.

Lightning aimed and lunged triumphantly. Though it took three people to do it, it _was_ possible to bring more than one of these beasts down in a reasonable–

Something constricted her chest, pinning an arm to her side. The ground plunged away from her. Caught in a feeling of vertigo, she tried to blink away the spots of darkness crowding her vision, but there was only the intense, bone-crushing pain, the tentacles squeezing her ribs and spine, her armor, cutting off her breathing, and she felt the bone in her upper arm begin to strain and bend slightly.

In moments, it would snap, and she would be helpless.

Her sword slipped from her hand despite the desperate clenching of her fingers. Dimly, she heard it clatter to the ground, drowned out by the roaring winds.

Someone shouted her name, piercing the hurricane around her.

Lightning had been close to death before, many times, but this pain was unlike anything she had ever experienced in any moment of her life. Reinforced by Bhunivelze's power, her bones could take enormous pressure, but this beast seemed more than capable of exceeding that, and did so, wrapping its tentacles tight, something cold sliding around her throat until a wave of panic burst through her.

Seeking survival, she struggled, but it continued to squeeze, slowly, like a nightmare.

_I'm going to die_, she thought, the words rolling around in her head like a mantra, and the finality of that realization hardly gave her any peace. Instead, it enraged her, panicked her, but no matter how she struggled or strained, even her free hand, clutching at a tentacle in desperation, could do nothing.

There was a jerking sensation, the _snick_ of vertebrae suddenly snapping back into place. She felt as though she had been suddenly thrust into zero gravity. Wind whistled past her head. Distantly she felt her body crash through something that cracked loudly and the winds that had surrounded her suddenly cease, but she had no time to wonder as her body struck something hard as stone and she fell into the dark.


	13. Moments

_**12 Moments**_

He reacted without thinking, throwing everything he had into the monster that was crushing the woman who would fix his mistakes and save the world from his terrible sins, blasting it with so much force that a shockwave spread out from the impact and sent Noel stumbling back. Overhead, Lightning struggled, but barely moved at all, eyes falling closed, mouth open, her chest and shoulders straining as she gasped for air.

Ice water replaced his blood and he felt himself shivering.

She couldn't die. _She couldn't die_.

Throat still raw from screaming her name into the hurricane, he changed strategies, flipped his sword over, and cut into a forelimb, nearly taking it off. The beast howled and jerked suddenly, throwing her into the air, and he watched in horror as she flew into the starry sky and dropped into a row of apartments. His mouth suddenly went dry, and he felt nothing but battle instincts flowing through him, his blood on fire, thinking over and over that if she died no one could fix his mistakes and he could never atone and humanity would be _doomed_–

"_Noel_, get over here _now_!" he shouted.

Noel came flying in out of nowhere and used his javelin to attack. It was sloppy, but Caius hardly cared. He dodged the tentacles, swatting away a set that reached for his shoulders before feeling himself yanked off his feet, breath rushing out of his body with a chesty grunt when he landed. It was only through quick thinking that he managed to cut the tentacles around his legs away even as one slithered around his throat and tightened. Caius had not feared death for many centuries, though, and so he stared into the beast's eyes without concern as he, very calmly, used his sword to sever the quivering, slippery object from around his neck.

As it shrank back with blazing eyes, Noel regained his feet and leapt straight at it. The javelin punched through one of the eyes and deep into its skull. Chaos gushed in a solid column of smoke into the air. With some effort, Noel pulled the javelin free and slashed at another of the eyes. At the same time, Caius flipped back onto his feet and rammed his sword with all of his strength into the creature's side, causing the ribcage to burst open and spew even more chaos that whipped his hair around his shoulders and stung his skin.

Forcing an opening into its body, he wasted no time and cleaved the black heart in two. The beast convulsed and fell onto its side, a sudden gush of chaos pushing into him so hard that he stumbled back, but then, seconds later, it was over, and it lay still, twitching only once before rushing back into the earth.

In moments, only Caius, Noel, and the survivors, still huddled at the edge of the warzone, remained, and the city fell completely silent beneath the stars.

Noel puffed a couple of feet away before looking at him and raising both eyebrows. "Well, that was inter–"

Caius pivoted hard to the right and took a step.

A heartbeat later, he stood inside the dark hallway of a very Spartan apartment complex, blinking as his eyes adjusted to the darkness. A pair of terrified individuals, a man and a woman, stood outside a door that had caved slightly outward. Plaster dust covered the crimson carpet underfoot. Paying little heed to their wide, staring eyes, he wasted no effort on a clean opening and instead tore the door right off its hinges, leaving it on the floor. He stepped over the pile of rubble and looked around.

There were still lights on in what remained of a comfortably furnished apartment. Plaster dust and the stench of hot electrical wiring filled the air, choking him. Silencing a snarl of derision, he waved a hand, and a gust of wind blew the dust back as though it shrank from his wrath. There, in the center, lying on her back with her eyes open and staring blankly at the skylight she had inadvertently added to the complex, was Lightning, splayed out, armor no longer black but white from dust, hardly breathing, if she did at all.

Caius forced himself to stay calm, battling a sudden burst of rising panic, and climbed over the rubble. A live cable shocked him, leaving a painful burning sensation even through the armor, but he ignored it and slid down into the shallow crater left behind by her landing.

Falling to one knee at her side, he laid two fingers on her throat. Her pulse, weak but steady, greeted him.

Relief and irritation washed over him as he gazed at her.

Her sky-blue eyes moved to his. She looked weak, skin pale and lips nearly white, hardly breathing. Her left hand, lying twisted at her side, moved with great, obvious effort, slinking across the rubble and up her armor toward the silver emblem on her chest. Nearly there, she stopped and winced.

Caius wished he knew what was proper. Should he help her? That would mean having to touch her, and she would never stand for such a thing. She would never accept his help if it meant touching her… and yet, staring down at her, so obviously wracked with pain, eyes dull, betraying her inability to focus, the urge to follow his instincts tormented him, and he felt as though he were being torn in two.

As he tried to figure out what to do, she finally reached the emblem, fingers barely grazing the stamped metal that stood out so prettily among the dust. She drew a pained, sharp breath, and a white light flared from the center of the emblem. It spread across her body the way fire licked across paper. He squinted against the brightness, and when it faded, she took her first real breath and let her hand drop away.

Words bubbled onto his tongue, senseless words, but he regained control of himself and said, "You are alive."

She inhaled again. "Caius," she said, his name barely a breathy sigh off her lips.

Daring not speak any further, he stared at her.

With obvious effort, she lifted her head, but a wince she couldn't hide prevented her from going any further. After a moment, she dropped it back with a groan. "I almost died." Though she spoke words, they came out in the form of raspy breaths, betraying her pain despite her expressionless features. "Bhunivelze gave me a lot of power. I couldn't have survived…" She suddenly tensed and made a soft sound in her throat.

Caius wanted to pace, unsettled by her pain, put off ease by the way her state made him feel, and resisted the urge to make demands of her. She _was_ incredibly strong, impossibly powerful, or else she would never have survived not only being crushed but also plunging through multiple floors of this building. Yet, she had come close to death, too close, and his sins had nearly come back to haunt him. Without her alive, he would drown in guilt, the chaos would come, and all hope for mankind's future would be lost.

Finally, her body relaxed, and she breathed easier. Again, she tried to lift her head, then her shoulders, but she had to stop partway up, tensing on her elbows.

Caius tensed and battled the instinct to help her.

She made a pained sound, cutting it off as quickly as it had come, lips lifting from her teeth. With a shaky groan of effort, she hoisted herself the rest of the way up. Her eyes found his, and there was silence.

Her eyes _were_ the color of the sky, he saw, framed in long black eyelashes that made her look fierce and mysterious. Her rose-colored hair fell in bangs of varying lengths across her eyes and swept across her forehead, leaving shadows so faint he could hardly see them. Her skin was pale, but he saw it burnished slightly red from her time in the Wildlands sun. This close – inches from her face, it seemed, _far_ closer than he had ever been – he saw nicks and tiny imperfections scattered all over her skin.

He wondered how many of those were from his own hand.

"You called me 'Lightning'," she said, and broke into his thoughts as he realized what she was saying.

He shook his head at her. "It was nothing."

"You have never called me by my name before, not to my face." She still stared at him, eyes locked with his, even as the instinct to turn away and create some space raged through his blood. _Turn away_, his mind demanded of him, but there was something that transfixed him about her eyes – emotionless eyes, she had tried to make him believe, that glittered faintly now with something unreadable.

Aware she was still in pain, he tipped his head. "It matters not," he insisted. "You need–"

"It does." Her eyes seemed to bore into his, chaining him to the spot, and he found it inexplicably impossible to look away from her. "We fought a long time, and you never used it, not even once."

He gave up. "Would you prefer I use it?"

"Well…" She seemed to genuinely puzzle over this, eyes flicking between his, for a moment. "It's my name. I don't get why you _haven't _used it." She hesitated to take a breath before looking into his eyes again. He forced himself not to gawk, feeling pinned and helpless beneath her gaze. Their eyes had met _thousands_ of times before, but this was somehow different. "It's okay, far as I'm concerned."

Something prickled across his skin. "Alright…" Pause. "…Lightning."

Her eyes seemed to lose focus; Caius felt a prick of concern. She was delirious, he could see, if only slightly, from the pain. No doubt it was _excruciating_, and yet, here was, soldiering through it as though it were nothing. The depth of her strength amazed him, but the extent of her recklessness worried him.

Leaning forward, she twisted her body, briefly supported her weight on her right leg alone, and managed to get on her knees. Caius reached out without thinking, stopping a mere hand's length from her arm, and pulled back again before she could see. She got to her feet, and he rose as well, taking a step back. Something shifted – a chunk of plaster sliding down into the piles of rubble surrounding them, most likely; he shifted his weight, but refused to take his eyes off her to check their surroundings just yet.

"Alright," she said, "let's go."

He stared at her. She couldn't be serious. "You are still injured and in pain. You need time to recover."

Her eyes narrowed. "I'll have to heal as I go."

"Lightning, listen to me," he said firmly, "you need to rest, if only for a few minutes."

A faint smirk touched her lips before she chuckled softly and shook her head. Turning, she climbed up the side of the crater she had left, but then she stepped on an uneven section, a chunk of concrete, and slid. She fell to one knee and only inhaled sharply, but quietly, when she landed. When he came around to her side and bent at the waist, he saw her expression twisted mildly into one of pain – an expression that quickly shifted to annoyance.

"I'm fine," she insisted, straightening again, but when she did, a hand came to her temple.

Caius decided to stop being nice and glared at her.

After a few moments, her eyes flicked met his. They stood in silence, a battle of wills, but this time, unlike the time in the forest, he refused to back down, folding his arms, staring her down. Lightning had gained great power, or else she would not have survived, but she would need time to mend. Perhaps she _could_ mend on the go, as she said, but he also knew she was just being stubborn, insisting she could do _everything_.

Unfortunately, she was too precious and the only method they had of saving the world. As her companion, he had to keep her alive.

"Why don't you ask Hope?" he said.

Lightning averted her eyes. "You know what he'd say," she murmured.

"Yes," he said, but allowed his voice to soften as he spoke. He had already made his irritation at her stubbornness clear; no longer was it necessary. "His purpose is to guide you and keep you alive, Lightning, and both of you must consider what is best for you and the people you are trying to save. You must stop being stubborn."

Her gaze snapped back to his. "I don't have a lot of time."

"You do. You can spare some to rest."

"Why does it matter to _you_?"

Instead of being annoyed, he felt a prick of sadness. It was a relevant question to ask of a man once so dedicated to destroying her and her whole world. "Lightning," he said, as softly as he could, "I am here, instead of in the temple, because you requested my help. We have been over this. Regardless of our pasts, we _must_ look forward to future." Knowing it was a risk, he stepped closer, letting his still-folded arms drop to his sides, and waited until she looked back up at him. "You _must_ live, or my sins can never be undone."

"Undone, huh?" Equally soft, if firm, her voice quavered slightly – still in pain, he knew.

"Yes," he said. "They cannot be forgiven, but a new future can still be built from their ashes. This, you must live for, or all those whose lives I destroyed will _never_ know peace."

A hand rubbed at her temple. "If I promise to rest for a short time at the inn, will that satisfy you?"

He bowed his head briefly. She nodded, and climbed out of the crater.

In silence, they walked down the hall and took the stairs to the ground floor again. Caius spotted Noel over by the survivors, obviously attempting to comfort them. Most of them had left, but three or four remained, two of them children, too frightened or too hurt to move. The lifeless armor of the sentry remained where the beast of chaos had dropped it – no one had bothered to move him yet.

As they moved closer, he became aware of one of the survivors singing softly under his breath with his arms around his knees, rocking back and forth, his eyes shut tight.

Noel looked at them and trotted over. "They're okay for now," he said. "Are _you_ okay, Lightning?"

The woman groaned softly. "Barely," she murmured.

Caius stayed at her side and looked around, searching for anything even remotely out of place that would indicate a threat, but within moments, he realized there was nothing. Still keeping his senses alert, he let his gaze drift back to her as she spoke softly to Noel, in time to hear Noel say, "Sure, I'll keep watch here. No problem."

"If any more of those things show up," she said, "you stay away."

Noel's expression darkened. "But–"

"No," she said, shaking her head. "If it's not too risky, see if you can help people escape, but you _can't_ take on any of those things by yourself. You'll die if you do."

The boy looked reluctant, but he seemed to understand. "Yeah, I know. Don't worry, I got an up-close look."

Lightning nodded. "Good. Now, get going, and stay alert."

Noel turned back to the survivors, and Lightning turned her back to him, rubbing the back of her neck now. Caius waited patiently beside her. "Alright," she said at last, "I'll go rest at the inn. The next thing I want to do is go look in the Wildlands and speak to–" She hesitated. "What's that?"

Caius followed her gaze to something lying on the pavement, a few feet away. Before he could comment, she came up to it and picked it up, turning it over. It was a green, stuffed Carbuncle doll, dirty, but intact. As he came closer, he realized it stank of chaos, but knew that would vanish with time.

"This must be the little girl's toy," Lightning said.

Not missing the twinge of feeling in her voice, he tried to gauge her expression, but failed.

"Let's take it back to her first," she said, and wrapped an arm around it to hold it against her side. "If she's still there, she'll want this back. And no, I am _not_ resting until this is in her hands." Her eyes seemed to flicker with blue fire for a moment. He did not dare argue with her this time.

In silence, he followed her back to the plaza in front of the North Station. It was virtually empty, save for a sentry patrolling, a sentry in a guard station beside the station entrance, a strangely-dressed woman clad in brightly-colored feathers, and a cleric murmuring to himself as he made his rounds. Beneath the scaffolding in the corner, Caius saw the girl at last, curled up on a few blankets and covered by another pair of them, asleep. Lightning approached her, slowing as she reached the scaffolding, and knelt a few feet away.

"Excuse me? Hello?" she called quietly.

The girl stirred and lifted her head, blinking groggily. Then, suddenly, she was wide awake, throwing back her blankets. "My doll!" she cried. "You found it!" Lightning held it out to her, smiling slightly, and the girl embraced it, burying her face in it. "Oh, thank you! I've looked all over for it! I can't believe you found it, it's a miracle!"

"Don't know about that," Lightning said, "but you're welcome."

The girl looked at her. "My mom gave it to me years ago. She's gone now, but I keep coming here, the last time I saw her, just in case she ever comes back. You know, maybe, if I make it to the new world–" Her eyes were large, shining in the city's dim lights, framed by eyelashes as long and thick as Lightning's, he saw. "–maybe I can see her again, right? She can't be gone forever, maybe?"

There was a brief pause before Lightning said, "Who knows, maybe you can."

The girl smiled. "Thank you. What's your name?"

"It's Lightning."

"Lightning?" She smiled. "I like it. It's pretty, like you."

The woman didn't seem to know what to say to that, only responding with a quiet "thank you" before she nodded and turned away. Caius stayed close to her, considering the girl's words. Almost shamefully, he let his gaze return to her, taking in her stiffened gait, the dried blood surrounding the gash in her side from Noel's javelin, her mussed hair, her tired eyes, her red-tinged skin, and the lean but strong muscle that clung to every bone and curve in ways that made it impossible to miss. Despite all of her imperfections, she _was_ rather…

He let those thoughts trail off and felt a twinge of guilt. For some reason, he felt admitting that he found this woman in any way attractive, if he did, would be a betrayal to Yeul, yet he couldn't puzzle out why that would be. Though he knew of the strong – _powerful_, in some cases – feelings some of the girls held for him, he did not return the ones with romantic inclinations in kind, and he never would.

It had no _reason_ to feel like a betrayal. It was not as though he were attracted _to_ her, only recognizing the idea of her _being_ attractive, and even _that_ would be nothing more than mere observation.

Annoyed at his thoughts, he forced them aside and focused on following her. They were halfway to the inn on the far side of the plaza before the woman in the feathered outfit made a soft sound and took a couple of steps forward, saying, "Lightning! Hey!" She waved her arms as she approached.

Lightning slowed to a halt. "Excuse me?"

Caius looked the woman up and down, but quickly decided she was no threat. She was a thin, pale sort, with dark hair and blue eyes, wearing a revealing blue-and-gold feathered outfit reminiscent of a chocobo. Her hands were not visible, for they were fitted inside gloves resembling wings, so she stood with her fists planted on her hips, smiling at the rose-haired woman as though they were very old friends.

"It's been such a long time," the woman said. Her voice was quite chipper. "How have you been?"

"I'm sorry, but have we met before?" Lightning said.

"What?" Looking taken aback, she tilted her head and pursed her lips. "Don't tell me you don't remember your old friend Chocolina!" She blinked and quickly said, "Oh, duh, of course you wouldn't." Before Lightning could go any further, she smirked mischievously. "Let's just say I knew your sister, and I helped her and Noel out on their journey a long, long time ago, whenever they needed me, _wherever_ they needed me!"

"You knew Serah?" Something entered Lightning's voice now, soft and – if he dared – almost vulnerable.

"Indeed." Chocolina's voice softened. "I can help _you_, too, you know."

"But, how do I know I can trust you?"

"I could always tell you my life story!" she said cheerfully, but Caius caught a glimmer of mischief in her eyes. "I can tell you _all_ about that time _way_ back when it first started, back when I first set out on my _long_ journey and I was _just_ a little–"

"Alright, I trust you," Lightning cut in. "Please stop talking."

She kept smiling. "So, who is _this_?"

Caius grew aware of both her and Lightning looking at him, in entirely different ways. "You helped Noel and Serah, and you don't know who this is?"

"Maybe," the woman said, lifting an eyebrow. "_You_ tell me who he is."

Lightning blinked, something entering her eyes now. Caius looked between her and Chocolina, thinking that she was actually, somehow, testing Lightning – gauging her, somehow, by how she responded, and by extension, himself. As he waited through the brief silence, he realized that the name "Chocolina" sounded oddly familiar, but he could not determine why that was.

At last, Lightning said, "This is Caius Ballad. He is the man who destroyed the world."

"Oh, really?" Chocolina peered at him.

Neither Lightning nor himself seemed to have any idea how to respond to this not-quite-a-question from this strange woman. Instead, they exchanged a quick glance, and he again grew aware of her exhaustion just from the way her eyes met his. His gaze drifted back to Chocolina's, and when they met hers, she smiled and looked back at the rose-haired woman. There was silence for a moment.

"Oh, poor thing," she said, "you look so tired! Why don't you go get some rest, huh?"

Lightning blinked, but Caius saw her purse her lips – not pleased that even she could see she was not well. "Yeah, guess so," she muttered. "Well, good to meet you. We'll meet again sometime."

"Oh, don't you worry, you'll see me again, I can promise you _that_ much!" Chocolina waved her feathered arms and grinned broadly. "Go get some beauty rest, will you? Even _my_ fantastic beauty regimen includes lots and lots of beauty sleep, so if it works for me, it'll work for you!"

Lightning turned away without another word; Caius felt a prickle of amusement at her _un_amused expression. No other words were exchanged between them as she made her way to the open-air desk of the inn near the station entrance. Behind the desk sat a man who rose to his feet when she placed her hands on the counter.

"May I help you?" he said, also placing his hands on the counter.

"I need a room for the night," Lightning said.

The man wore gold-rimmed glasses; he peered through them at Caius. "Two of you?"

"No," Lightning said, quickly, "just me."

The man made a thoughtful sound in his throat and looked down at his ledger. Caius turned slightly and checked the plaza over again. The feathered woman had vanished, as had the wandering cleric, leaving only the sentries. The silence, barely broken by the whisper of lapping waves and faraway chirp of crickets, made him uneasy.

"Here you go," the innkeeper said, and handed Lightning a key in exchange for gil.

Lightning brushed past him without another word; Caius followed, ignoring the innkeeper's sidelong look, as they made their way through a door behind the desk that led into a long, shadowy hallway. She took a look at the room number stamped on the key. The hallway was barely wide enough to walk through without scraping his armor on the walls, leaving perhaps a half-inch on either side.

"This is it." She stopped, inserted the key, and swung the door open. Inside was a small room with a bunk on one side, a very basic kitchen on the other, and a bulge in the corner indicating a water closet beside a narrow sliding window that looked out over the street. "Alright. Wake me in a couple of hours at most."

Caius considered leaving her longer than that. "Can I trust you to rest?"

She stepped into the room. "Yeah. Go see Yeul."

She started to close the door; he extended a hand and stopped the door cold. Lightning grunted softly. "You felt a strong need to give that doll back to the girl. Why is that?"

Her expression hardened. "Does it matter?"

Refusing to be ruffled by her attempt to push him away, he only said, "I _am_ curious."

She snorted under her breath, but he saw her shoulders lose their stiffness – slightly. "It reminded me of when I found Serah with her stuffed animals after our mother died," she muttered, not looking at him. "She was too old for it, but there she was. As if some manmade inanimate object could replace what died with our parents."

Caius noted the bitterness in her voice. He had always known Serah to be this woman's lone remaining family, but had not known _this_ part of her history. "How old were the two of you when your mother passed?"

"Fifteen," Lightning bit out. "Serah was twelve."

Caius decided to make his next question the last. Lightning obviously had little desire to speak about this. "When did your father pass?"

"Way earlier." Her eyes returned to his. "Are you done?"

Making his movements smooth, trying to be as non-threatening as possible, he gave her a slight, graceful bow and backed away from the door, releasing it. Lightning stayed where she was, a hand clinging to the handle, her brow knit, lips pressed tightly together, eyes thick with feeling.

"Sleep well, Lightning," he said, his voice all business again.

She nodded and closed the door. The lock _clicked_ into place a moment later.

Caius stood out in the dark hallway, taking a moment to listen to what was going on around him. before turning his attention inward. A thread of chaos tied him to the shadows awaiting him in the temple, and if he followed it, Yeul would welcome him with open arms as she always had, to the one place he still belonged.

With one last glance at Lightning's door, he let himself vanish.

* * *

_To all those wondering where this is going, yes, I am slowly building toward major plot points, one of which occurs in the chapter coming up next . It's moving a bit slow now, but it's going to start picking up real speed next chapter. Thanks to everyone who reviews - constructive, positive, and negative, all of it - and I hope you enjoyed this chapter!_


	14. Hollow Seclusion

_**13 Hollow Seclusion**_

Lightning woke slowly to murky light filtering through her still-closed window and the feeling of unfamiliar sheets wrapped around her. Momentarily disoriented, she fought back the coaxing of sleep and threw back the blankets so the cool air struck her skin, bringing her more fully awake, but it was only when she fully understood the meaning of the way the light looked that she suddenly jerked wide awake and completely alert.

Standing, she hissed under her breath, glaring at the pre-dawn, gray-blue light.

Caius had allowed her to sleep longer than she had intended him to.

Even as she realized this, she felt her anger dissipate. Had he not demonstrated concern? Had he not made it clear that he considered _her_ the key to saving the world, the _only_ method of fixing the mess he had made? No doubt he had done this only because he had believed it best. Yet, despite not allowing her anger to linger, she still felt a deep sense of annoyance at what had happened. Caius couldn't even follow simple orders.

That, or he simply did not wish to.

It was then she noticed the knocking at her door and faced it. She reached out with her senses and found a fierce, dark bloom of chaos. Unmistakably Caius's whirlwind of complex emotions and secrets he would never tell her about – she shook her head and approached.

"You disobeyed me," she growled as she swung the door open.

Caius looked at her without emotion, except for something in his eyes. They were deep, infinite eyes, as vast as the cosmos, as full of secrets as the same, and she found the words she had intended to speak die on her tongue. For some reason, she had no desire to accuse him any further.

A few moments of silence sat between them. "How do you feel?" he asked at last.

Lightning briefly checked herself over. "No longer hurting," she said. "Were you with Yeul?"

"Yes," he said.

Lightning plucked the key for the room off the nightstand and closed the door behind her as she stepped out into the hallway. Hesitating with a hand on the door, she looked back at him. Something about the way he was looking at her bothered her somehow, but she couldn't put her finger on what it was. She refused to let it rule her mind, though, and pushed it aside. Caius Ballad was no friend of hers, but he _was_ an ally. He had protected her from the beasts of chaos and helped her save Noel. Though he had been a monster once, he was no clear threat now, and yet, that bothered her more than anything. His continued refusal to let her slip through any cracks made him seem so alien and foreign that he rarely resembled the man she knew.

Not sure what she had wanted to say, she forced herself to stop churning over old memories and instead let her gaze wander across his features.

They looked tired. Worn. And, as always, _completely_ unreadable. No matter how she searched, she saw no pieces she could pry away to get to his heart and no way to decipher the storm-like chaos that surged in his eyes. Why did he guard his heart, and why so fiercely?

"I will go to the Wildlands first," she said, breaking the spell. "I have to see about Dajh." Taking a deep breath, she added, "It's Day Three already. I only have nine days left after this one."

"That is more than enough time," Caius murmured. "Do not dwell on its passage."

"You don't understand," she growled, and placed both hands on her hips. "There's maybe a thousand people left on this chunk of planet, but I can't save them all. Hope told me so. And yet–" She blew through her lips and closed her eyes. "Caius, I have to _try_. Every moment I let slip away is another life lost."

"Yet you wasted time on _me_ when I explicitly told you not to, at the start of this journey, and _now_ you waste time bickering about things that I already know."

Her eyes flicked open. Coldly, she turned her back and walked swiftly down the hall to the exit. She heard Caius snort softly behind her before falling in step on her heels. Pushing back the flicker of panic that came from losing precious hours, she instead focused on flexing her muscles. They felt fine, without a hint of soreness or pain, and she had to grudgingly admit, solely to herself, that Caius's insistence that she rest had indeed seemed to do the trick and given her the means to push on, which she would need.

It was, after all, going to be a long day.

They exited the inn, her dropping the key in front of the innkeeper as she passed, to find the sky tinged blue-gray and the beginnings of a sunrise on the horizon.

When the time came to go to Yusnaan, how would she fare? Would she be able to plow into the palace? Would the guards have been returned to normal duties after the shakeup she had caused just a few short nights ago? No, she realized sullenly, they wouldn't have – Snow would still have the city on alert for her. He had made it _very_ clear that he had absolutely _no_ intention of being saved.

At that realization, Lightning clenched her hands into fists before staring blankly down at one. This coming from _Snow_, self-proclaimed hero, who had refused to believe his Focus had been to destroy humanity, had gone out of his way to help everyone around him, braved incredible odds and never lost his sense of optimism – even after being trapped in the Coliseum by the powerful force of chaos he could not resist, beyond her reach, but never beyond her sight, as she had watched him wage an endless war–

He wasn't smiling anymore, though. His engagement pendant still hung about his neck, but it seemed more a noose than a tangible promise now.

"I'm gonna save him," she murmured, and tucked her fist against the emblem on her chest. "This, I promise."

"Do you speak of Snow?"

Momentarily surprised, she stared at Caius before realizing he had probably put two and two together. "Yeah," she said. "I doubt I'll be able to just push on into the palace. The last thing I want to do is cause another stir."

For a few moments, the line of his mouth softened. "This," he murmured, "from the woman who had led the Siege of Eden and raised enough chaos to nearly end the world."

Lightning raised an eyebrow. "We must've really stood out in those prophecies, huh?"

"You and your companions, the five other l'Cie, were shown in prophecies millennia ago." Something changed on his features, as though he gazed through many years. "Though you did not know it at the time, that journey is a keystone. Various elements of it showed up in many prophecies, and it went on to change the world. Time's path was permanently altered because of your actions, and those of Etro's."

Curiosity momentarily tingled in her blood. "The Siege of Eden was completely different. This is not…" She trailed off at his steady stare, then snorted and turned south, toward the train that would take her back to the Wildlands. _Let him believe what he wants_, she thought. "You wanna ride with me, or you want to just meet me there?"

"Can _you_ teleport rather than wasting even _more_ time riding about in a train?"

She stopped and faced him. "I _know_ you've been on a train before."

"I do not enjoy being caged."

Something about the way he spoke made her response stall on her tongue, and she stared at him, again feeling as though he were a puzzle missing a hundred pieces. They were all _there_, she knew, but putting them all in place would take so much effort that he would end up being another project – and in the end, he would just slip into the chaos, anyway, so what difference did it make?

"Yes, I can teleport," she said. "Hope has warned me that it does sap my strength for a time. Though I am filled with Bhunivelze's power, all of that power is contained inside a still-human vessel." She sighed. "Hope likes to remind me of my mortality. I'm not powerful enough to conquer death."

Caius said nothing for a moment, then looked at her and said, "You were able to win against me, despite my being filled with the power of chaos. I am far more powerful than last we met, in Valhalla. Therefore, I would say you are far more powerful than you have ever been."

"It came with a price," she said. "Though I appear human, I grow stronger every day. _Am_ I human, then?"

Caius gazed steadily at her. "We shall see.

The lights around town began to go out. Taking a few moments, she looked carefully at Caius. He looked away after a moment, staring into space. Wanting to unravel the mysteries being dangled in front of her, she prevented herself from asking after his thoughts only by reminding herself there was no point.

After a few more steps, she stopped and said, suddenly, "I'll teleport." Summoning her strength, she raised a hand to her crest, where it flared to life. "Meet me there."

He glanced at her. "Where, precisely?"

"There's a crashed airship in the Wildlands. Sazh and his son are there."

Giving him a nod, she focused her thoughts on the glowing crest and saw Caius wink out of existence before feeling the ground shoot away from under her feet. A moment later, she seemed to topple into nothingness, surrounded by impossible colors and a swirl of sounds and images fit to drive her mad. Her eyes wide open, gazing into the dancing light and shadow around her, she reached out half-blindly, seeking something familiar. Eventually, she made out the whisper of voices that soon became words – endless echoes of conversations from across time, she quickly guessed, able to pick a few familiar snippets out of the madness.

Still trying to make sense of it, she grasped desperately for answers. Was this the Historia Crux, or some twisted, chaos-infested, horribly mutated shadow of it?

If chaos had bent time to the point where it could not be recovered–

And then she hit the ground, brought down by her own weight as gravity greedily pulled her onto her face. For an instant, she couldn't pull herself upright, unable to overcome her own mass. Her head spun; she closed her eyes to shut out the swirling colors and shapes around her, before hearing someone saying her name. It sounded muddled; she lifted her head and felt herself careen backward into the void again–

"_Lightning_!" Caius's voice slashed through her confused thoughts and pulled her back to solid ground. The dizziness vanished; she groaned and sat up.

She grunted, rubbing her face with a hand. A quick glance around told her what she needed to know – she was in the Wildlands, beneath a gray-blue sky, with Caius on one knee before her and a warm breeze on her skin. "How long–" For an instant, the dizziness returned, but her vision cleared again. Groaning softly, she rose to her feet, swayed, and found her balance. Caius straightened, unreadable and expectant, and did not respond to her half-spoken query, just staring at her when she looked at him.

She soon realized that she stood some distance away from the nosedived airship, its fins still sticking up into the air and the stink of badly rusted metal still permeating the otherwise sugar-sweet scents of the wilds. Somewhere in the distance, a raptor called; the insects were silent.

Lightning looked up at the balcony above and saw no one. "He should be there."

Caius did not speak, but she heard him shift his weight. She strode forward, the same path she had followed to get in the first time, only to find the door Sazh had opened for her before locked tight. When she tried to force it, it only creaked, and she decided not to give it everything she had lest she break something. He had either locked it to keep others out and himself in, or he wasn't actually present at the moment.

"Perhaps he went to hunt," Caius said. "Gran Pulse has always been verdant hunting grounds."

"Yeah, probably," she murmured. Reaching up, she switched on the mike on her headset. "Hope, can you check and see if Sazh is anywhere nearby? I can't tell if he's inside."

"Hold on." There were a few moments of silence. "Well, it looks like Dajh is, but Sazh isn't. Hang on, I'm running a scan of the immediate area. Give me a minute."

As she waited, she glanced at Caius, but he wasn't looking at her, instead gazing over the plains. Lightning watched his hair blow around his shoulders and felt a shiver at the sight before chastising herself. She could suppress the instinct to fight or run when she saw him, but she had more trouble separating her hollow doubts from the reality of what she saw. What she _saw_ was a fierce, powerful man whose inability to be read unnerved her. What she recalled was a warrior of incredible power who never hesitated in his attempts to _kill_ her.

_Who are you_, she thought, her mind beginning to jostle around the idea of answering that simple question. She knew the basics of his history, his name as it was written in Paddra's Book of Guardians, his careful manipulation of time and space, his raging emotions and fury-fueled wars, but the _man_ himself was a mystery.

And for the first time, she wanted to know the answers.

"Here we are." Hope spoke so suddenly that she flinched in surprise. "He's a short distance away, closer to the camp over to the east, near the crags. Seems to be coming back." There was a pause. "Hmm… it looks like he might be carrying something with him. It's still warm. Fresh kill, I suppose."

Lightning frowned. "If he's only feeding himself, then Dajh must be in a coma brought on by magic, or his body would have starved and died."

"You're right," Hope murmured. "You're absolutely right. Interesting to note."

Now Caius looked at her. "A magical coma?"

"Seems that way. There's no other explanation for the fact that he's been asleep for years and hasn't died. We're not immortal, Caius, merely ageless." She hesitated. "Not like you used to be at all."

His expression darkened, and he looked away.

"He should be within visual range now," Hope said into her ear. "See him?"

Lightning looked over the plain, craning her neck. In the pre-dawn light, the shadows blurred, making it difficult to make out specific details. Eventually, though, she saw a humanoid shape walking briskly across the plains, dressed in the same colors that she had seen him in last. Anxiously, she waited for him to approach, climb up a makeshift ladder bolted into the cliff a short distance away, and head toward her. In his left hand, he carried what seemed to be a pair of game birds, their wings dangling limply, eyes glassy.

"Sazh?" Lightning called to him.

The man stumbled slightly and looked wide-eyed at her. "Wha– Lightning? You're back!"

She waited until he was closer to say, "Just killed?"

"Hmm?" Sazh lifted the birds. "Yeah, just need to be plucked, skinned, and gutted. They're always good, grilled up over the fire. Tender, juicy, sweet. I always find the plumpest once." A deep sigh escaped him, and his eyes briefly turned downcast. "It's… too bad Dajh can't enjoy 'em. He always did love fresh campfire food."

"It'll happen again, someday," she assured him.

Lowering his catch again, he shifted his gaze to Caius. There was a long, heavy, pregnant pause – his dark eyes scrutinized the man, as though he _knew_ something, but couldn't place why. "I know that guy," was what came out of his mouth a few moments later. "I _know_ him. He's the… uh, he's the guy Noel and Serah were tryin' to catch up to way back in Academia all those years ago. Um… Kain, wasn't it?"

Caius wasted no time saying, "Caius."

"Eh, close enough, I suppose." Sazh placed his free hand on his hip. "You destroyed the world, didn't you?"

"Yes." Caius again spoke without hesitation.

"Well, then, I guess you're more or less responsible for Dajh bein' asleep. Though, uh, it's too late to go pointin' fingers, I guess. Lightning is going to fix it." Here, he looked at Lightning, who nodded once. "I'll go unlock the door, and you go on inside. Let me just clean up these birds and–"

"Lightning needs to speak with you, and preparing the birds will take time," Caius cut in with almost obnoxious grace. "If I may, I can take care of them for you."

Sazh looked surprised, but handed over the birds without protest. Once Caius had them in hand, Sazh led the way into the airship, unlocking and sliding open the door to the living space. The door to the balcony had also been slid closed and locked, but he opened it again, letting in a burst of fresh air. "What'd you need to talk to me about?" he said, coming back and squatting to light the fire.

Lightning took a seat near the ashes. "I spoke to…" She hesitated. Sazh and Vanille had traveled together, long ago, both trying to run from their fates in their own way, so he would probably like to know she was alright. "I did some investigation regarding your son's state, and… well, I was told to come back and investigate further by Vanille."

Sazh froze and stared at her. "Vanille? She's okay? Where is she?"

Lightning hesitated at Sazh's wide-eyed expression. There was something in his eyes that gave her the impression that, for one reason or another, the thought of Vanille had warmed his heart where it had been set in cold stone for far too many centuries. "She's in the cathedral in Luxerion, under watch of the Order of Salvation, the followers of Bhunivelze, whom I now serve as well," she said. "She cannot leave."

"Can't leave?" Sazh gritted his teeth. "Why _not_?"

Lightning blinked. "She's being kept there, but when I tried to persuade her to leave, she refused. For some reason, they are keeping her there, and she's complicit. There's something she needs to do on the final day to help those who have become trapped in the chaos, she says."

Sazh flicked the lighter in his hand harder than before to light the next piece of kindling. Once it was going, he pocketed the light and stared into the fire. "She's staying to fulfill some obligation," he muttered. "Man, that sounds _just_ like what I remember of that girl. No more running, huh?"

Lightning plucked absently at her armor. "Yeah, but it could be to her detriment."

"She told me all about what led to her and Fang getting crystallized the first time." Settling back, he stretched one leg to the side and rested an arm on his knee. "She doesn't like hurting people. That girl would rather die than let anyone else suffer because of her, but she didn't do anything this time. I–" His dark eyes met hers. "She– she's not still blamin' herself for what happened all those years ago, is she?"

"I don't know," Lightning said. "That's the truth."

Sazh made a frustrated sound and prodded a piece of charcoal near his knee with one finger. "So, she told you to look at Dajh again. Did… did she mention why, exactly?"

Lightning said nothing, waiting until Sazh's curious eyes met hers again. Quietly, she rose to her feet, walking across the room to the boy still lying on the cot. He was in the exact same position as before, as hollow as before, and this time, she reached out with all of her senses, feeling out the aura of darkness that surrounded him. It was chaos, but far, _far_ too much for an empty shell. There was chaos everywhere now, but concentrations of it were rare, limited to the heaviest burdens, the chaos emissions, and…

Swallowing, she placed both hands on the boy's body and dug her fingertips in. It was a beautiful mimicry, so much that it fooled her, but it felt somehow _wrong_. "This isn't Dajh. I told you that before." Focusing on the boy's closed eyes, she leaned down. "But, I can't tell you _what_ it is, only that it isn't a little boy."

"But it–" Sazh scrambled to his feet behind her. "No. No, that can't be. He _is_ there, just asleep and missing pieces of himself. We've already been over that, and I know that–"

Lightning abruptly raised a hand, silencing him, before focusing on the boy again. There – deep inside, she found a flare of chaos, wild like a storm, tight and small as a singularity, around which the chaos in the immediate area spun as though captured in a whirlpool. It felt dark, deep, and unnatural, but when she tried to seize it to pull it free, it actively fought her, nipping and clawing, until she was forced to back away.

There was silence for some minutes before Caius came in carrying a naked bird in each hand that he gave to Sazh, who moved to the kitchenette to finish preparing them. Lightning stared at him for a moment, thinking that if anyone could help her, the man sunk over his head in chaos could.

"Caius," she murmured, "come here."

Caius moved quietly, barely making a sound as he came to her side. Lightning wondered how to ask him to help, but before she could, she saw his expression tighten. "This is the mystery you wish to uncover," he murmured.

"Yes," she said. "What's going on?"

Caius lifted a hand before setting it, slowly, on the boy's shoulder. A few moments of silence passed before his eyes fell closed. "There is a singularity of chaos inside this shell," he said, "which gives it form and purpose, but no life."

"I tried peeling away the outside lays," she said, "but it fought me."

"Then allow me to overcome it." His eyes met hers. "If I may."

Realizing that he sought her permission, she nodded.

Caius returned his gaze to the boy's body, and for a moment, nothing seemed to happen – then, slowly, she grew aware of the boy's body darkening to a shadow, the distinct checkerboard pattern of chaos flowing over it. The longer she stared, the more surreal it became, until the outline of the boy remained, but a bleak heart of darkness lay inside. Caius reached into the chaos, his hand closing around the shadow inside, and he lifted it out. The instant the heart of shadow left the image of the boy, it vanished with a sigh.

"Dajh!" Sazh, hands still slightly bloody and sticky from the birds, came running to the cot in time for the last wisp of darkness to curl up into the air and vanish. "Dajh, _no_! No, no, no, no–" With a sound of grief, he turned abruptly on Caius, who still held the dark singularity in his hand, and shouted, "Where's my son? What did you do to my son? _Why did you take him away_?"

The dark warrior lifted the singularity, still roiling and surging in his hand. "Dajh may have been here once, but he has long vanished," he said. "This is what drove you to your hollow seclusion." Expressionless as ever, he held out the handful of shadow to the man, who stared incredulously at it.

"Wha– it's not…" Sazh blinked. "It's not Dajh?"

"It never was, Sazh."

Sazh kept staring. "Then, what _is_ it?"

"It is not a natural occurrence," Caius said, "though it could have been formed out of your grief. Chaos has been known to manifest from strong desires. This was merely a point of chaos, churned and shaped by your heart into that which you love most." Opening his fingers, he released the shadow.

Sazh's expression became unreadable. For a long, long minute, he stared at Caius's now-empty fingers. At his sides, his hands worked, clenching and unclenching. Birdsong began to fill the air; Lightning saw the sunlight beginning to turn the air gold. The silence lingered long enough for their shadows to take proper form.

"So, Dajh _was_ taken from me again." Sazh spoke in a low, firm voice Lightning knew well. "Something took him away, a long time ago. He might even be trapped in the chaos."

Lightning instantly thought of Vanille. Did she hear Dajh there?

"Which means…" Sazh looked over his shoulder, his gaze sweeping around the room. "…I can't waste any more time just sitting around and waiting for the world to die. I refuse to believe my son is gone. He's still out there, and I'm going to find him." Something entered his eyes as he now looked at Lightning. "You said Vanille wanted to help those trapped in the chaos. Can I see her? I wanna talk to her."

Lightning blinked. Caius moved away. "I'm sure you can." She hesitated. "You believe he's alive still?"

"Dajh is tenacious." Emotion began to seep into the man's voice again. "If _anyone_ can survive even the worst, then it's my son, and I'm _going_ to find him. Thing is, if he's in the chaos somehow, then the only one who can help me find him is the girl who wants to save those people."

"Supposedly, she can hear their voices," Lightning said. "If Dajh is there, she'll know."

Sazh took a deep breath. "When are you going to Luxerion again?"

"Not soon," Lightning said. "I have to go to Yusnaan and figure out how to get Snow out of there. After that, I'm going to the Dead Dunes. Fang might be out there."

Sazh nodded. "The Dead Dunes, huh? And Fang. Well…" He sighed. "I think I'll meet you out there."

Lightning blinked. "In the desert? With Fang?"

"Yeah. I've spent enough time here. If Dajh isn't here, then I've got no reason to stay. I'm…" Folding his arms, he tilted his head. "I'm going to Luxerion, and I'm gonna see Vanille. She can tell me if Dajh is there. Then, I'll meet you out in the desert and we'll see if we can find Fang. By the way, did you ever find out what happened to Hope?"

Lightning nodded. "He's safe. I can explain some other time, but he's safe."

Sazh returned her nod. "Alright. Let me, uh, finish up these birds, and we can have something to eat. Don't want you heading out on an empty stomach, now, and I'm not wasting this meat."

While he went off to finish the birds, Lightning pivoted and went straight out onto the balcony. Caius leaned on the railing, the breeze stirring his hair and making it shimmer. Lightning stopped a couple of feet away, feeling that if the distance between them closed any tighter, she would be violating his space.

"You didn't have anything to do with Dajh's disappearance, did you?" she asked instead.

Caius did not look at her. "Only by unleashing the chaos freely into this world. I did not have a direct hand in it."

She squeezed the railing. "Do you think he's trapped in the chaos?"

"Perhaps," was his response.

Again, there was silence, filled only by the breeze blowing past her ears just strongly enough to make a soft whisper as it stirred her hair. Behind them, Sazh clanked around in the kitchen, obviously agitated. Lightning again found herself looking at Caius, again felt the questions from earlier roll around in her head, as she wondered what to do next. There were only a few days remaining, and she couldn't afford to spend much more time just standing here.

"I'll go to Yusnaan next," she said, and paused before saying, "You can go, or not."

Caius did not move, only saying, "As you wish."

She squeezed the railing again before taking a step back. Caius still had not moved when she turned away and went back inside, but when next she looked out at the balcony, he had vanished. Lightning sat with Sazh for a while to eat from the birds, but most of the time was spent in silence. When she finished some minutes later and stepped outside to teleport once more, he had not reappeared, and she went to Yusnaan alone.

* * *

_I apologize for the wait this time around. Your feedback (which I honestly and truly appreciate, y'all have no idea) has caused me to restructure the story a little going forward, so this was delayed partly because of that. Please enjoy, and let me know what you think!_


	15. Deep Shadows

_**14 Deep Shadows**_

The ancient temple, older than time and far older even than the existence of Valhalla, perched atop a great, roiling, thunderous sea of chaos oppressed only by Yeul's grand power, held down by time, its waves lapping at the land and chewing slowly away at the fabric of reality. It had not yet left the planet, but the fabric had weakened greatly, and at the end of the world, it would surge into the cosmos and devour everything. Wild and unable to be contained forever, it took all the Yeuls to hold it back, to give Lightning the time she needed, and burned and scratched at the back of his mind like a raging animal.

But he did not go back into the chaos this time. He climbed to the crystal throne instead, marking the passing of time by his breathing, the silence achingly deep until he felt it would drive him mad. The chaos was alive all around him, but in his human form, within the body that could not be allowed to die, he felt it as a normal human would, as an endless and oppressive darkness thick with unfathomable power.

All of it was tempered by Yeul's gentleness, some of them full of guilt, others at peace, still others endlessly pleased that their dream would come true, soon.

Their burden was easing. With every spot of hope Lightning brought to the world, they felt a little more joy and a little less fear. With each moment that passed, it brought his sins closer to being swept away and all of them closer to being together for the rest of eternity, as he had so long desired.

_Why are you not with her?_ Speaking through the chaos as whispers and thoughts, the girls did not need to manifest to reach him, though sometimes they chose to. _Does she not still need you?_

"Need?" He spoke without meaning to, his voice – though soft – seeming thunderously loud. "She does not."

_You protected her from the golems. Your presence is needed_.

"She will still succeed without me." For some reason, it felt good to hear his own voice, to pretend that he was still a living being – a secret, bitter wish of his heart, a silent and eternal prayer he felt ashamed to bear, one that he always crushed and killed in desperation whenever it flared. "This is where I belong. To return to her side and forsake you would undermine all that I have done to win your freedom."

Freedom from death, he reasoned. Freedom from madness and the chains of chaos. But not liberation.

He had taken that unto himself, to bear with them, forever.

"She is strong and intelligent. She has no emotions to weigh her down. If I happen to leave her side for a time, she will succeed without me, alone, as she always has."

_This is not a burden to bear alone, my Guardian_. The voice seemed more insistent now. How many of them were speaking to him? It was hard to tell. _She cannot succeed when she is incomplete. Power does not supersede purity. It does not conquer death. It is not greater than love_.

"I _am_ power, and I could be hers to wield when she need, but my future is here. It is _you_ whom I love, whom I will be with for eternity." He straightened slightly, wondering why he had to explain this yet again to these intelligent, beautiful creatures. "There is no peace for the wicked such as myself. Why chase a semblance of it?"

_Are you calling yourself too wicked to help her, or are you trying to avoid reality?_

He hesitated. "You want me to be out there with her."

_To keep you here is a sin. You would be nothing more than a prisoner_.

"Ah. Then what is our eternity to be?"

There was no answer for some time. Regretting his words, Caius sunk back into the throne again, propping himself on one elbow. He had allowed secret feelings to slip out for an instant in words that could never be taken back. They hung in the air like scars that could not heal. Yeul did not need to be reminded of what she could not help. Lightning could never rescue him from this fate. He had realized that centuries ago, and accepted it.

Their love for him was eternal, and bound him to them through the bond they had forged across millennia.

_To have you here is to make us hurt. You should be with her_.

"Hurt?" A little surprised, he peered into the swirling darkness. "How can _that_ be?"

"Some of us never wished this fate upon you," a voice rang out, clear and strong, silencing the whispers as she materialized some distance away. She stood with her hands clasped, her vivid green eyes a great contrast to the darkness around her, and despite her frail body, he sensed her strength of will. "Some of us wish nothing more than for you to be free. To see you here deepens our despair."

A sardonic chuckle escaped him. "Then our eternity shall be Hell."

Her eyes fixed on him like daggers, even from this distance, and he immediately sobered. "Go back to her. Your future is here, but your present is not. The Yeul of War released you from your prison for these thirteen days, but for a mere few minutes each night. Why are you defying Lightning's request? Why not take advantage of the gift you were given? You can leave your fate behind for a few days. Do it."

Caius left the throne to stand before her instead. "Because you are precious to me," he murmured, "and to be away from you only makes me wish to see you more. This shall never change."

The girl gazed calmly at him. "Soon, very soon, you'll be with us forever. Help Lightning fix the world you hurt."

He met her eyes without wavering. "Is this what you wish?"

"Caius Ballad," she said firmly, "it is what _we_ wish."

It was as clear a dismissal as she could ever make, and as her Guardian, it was his duty to do as she asked, as long as it did not put her into any danger – and there was nothing anymore that could harm her but her loneliness. With some reluctance, realizing how submissive he had become over their many millennia together, he lingered, but soon gathered the grit to leave the last place he could still call "home".

* * *

Lightning spent the entire morning in Yusnaan, working alone, running odd jobs and chasing clues as to how to get back into the palace, having already dismissed her hopes of going back in the same way she had before. Hope warned her against causing a scene and reminded her of Snow's predicament, which she found impossible to get her mind away from the more she looked around the glistening city.

"Snow has turned an oasis in the middle of rocky badlands into paradise," he had told her. "This continent is mostly bare rock, but he encouraged the construction of the city. Now, all those seeking entertainment of all varieties can come and let their worries slip out of their minds. Everything you can imagine can be found here – fine dining, fireworks, dancing…" He paused. "…and, frankly, catering to every imaginable taste."

Lightning had initially wondered why she hadn't ended up at her intended destination. "Hope, why am I here instead of inside the palace? I meant to go inside the palace when I teleported."

There was silence.

Frowning, she touched the headset. "Tell me the truth."

"Well…" He sighed. "Lightning, the thing is, the palace is swirling with chaos. When you tried to go inside, I nearly lost track of your pattern. You were being drawn away. I _had_ to pull you out, I had no choice." A long pause sat between them. "My job is to keep you alive. If you choose to be reckless, fine, but I _will not_ allow you to be lost to the chaos. There's no way that's going to happen on my watch. You _can't_ die."

"Bhunivelze can appoint someone else, you–"

"Lightning!" he snapped in her ear, making her flinch. "Don't say things like that! It's too late in the game for him to pull someone else, don't you get it? You are _way_ too precious to just be thrown aside! And…" He hesitated, and she found herself holding her breath in anticipation. Something about the way he had spoken made her skin prickle – but she wasn't sure in what way. "…I want to see you, in the new world, happy with your family and friends again. You _have_ to make it, Light."

It was midday before she was finally able to pause for breath. She had helped a struggling restaurant get back on its feet in exchange for gil and a good meal, reunited a father and son, told off a pickpocket and gotten her gil back, eaten again, and loitered around the station trying to figure out the shortest route to the Dead Dunes. That had taken up more time than she had expected, and now the sun was beating down on her shoulders, making her too hot.

And she was still no closer to getting in that palace.

Leaving the station area, she wandered down the corridor bookended by a cactuar statue on one side and a large, obviously five-star hotel on the other. In broad daylight, only the guards gave her more than a passing glance, making it difficult to go more than a few steps before she had to knock someone else out. By the time she had left a trail of groaning sentries behind her, the passerby weren't looking at her, and she had made it to a plaza in front of very tall metal gates that sparkled in the sun.

"That's the Augur's Quarter there," Hope murmured. "Very high end, very stately. Us, uh, 'common folk' don't get to do more than, uh, well, look and hope."

The metal gates hummed quietly, as though charged with a current. Getting as close as she dared, having to squeeze past a few other people, she managed to peer through the gates at the large, circular plaza beyond. Huge and flat, it glowed pale yellow in the sunlight, rimmed with apartment buildings that reminded her of the ones in Palumpolum that stretched on for several blocks. Neatly-trimmed hedges, vivid green trees, and flowering bushes decorated the yards. Off in the distance, half-hidden by haze, was the palace.

"It's really something," she said, and squinted. Nearer to her than the palace, but beyond all the houses, was a large, stylized golden statue that towered over the lower apartments and houses. Its image squirmed in the waves of heat that came off the pavement. "What's with the statue, huh?"

"Some kind of Bhunivelze tribute, I guess. Yusnaan isn't as into him as Luxerion, but, uh, it's got a few."

"It kind of looks like Palumpolum back there."

"Yeah." A hint of wistfulness entered the boy's voice. "It's a little like looking back into the past. Maybe Snow liked the architecture and suggested it to the designers. Who knows. But it _is_ magnificent, certainly befitting a town of such, uh, well, shallow grace and beauty. Too bad Snow doesn't fit it."

Feeling her chest tightening from the heat, Lightning moved over to a bench in the shade of a large, shaggy palm tree and plunked herself down, massaging her leg where the skin was exposed. Her feet were sore from packing her weight all over the city, her knees hurt, and her skin felt hot to the touch. Ignoring the nagging voice in her head that told her to stop wasting time, she stretched her leg until her knee popped, and groaned.

Hope snorted softly. "A little cooked, are we?"

She closed her eyes. "I feel like a behemoth steak, yeah, _way_ too well-done."

The boy laughed softly in her ear. "Well, be sure to get some dressing and potatoes to make it palatable. Can't have a good steak without good potatoes and some dressing."

Lightning smirked. "Want some take out? You sound a little hungry there."

"Um, well, actually…" He made a few soft sounds, making her think that he was struggling to think of an answer. "Uh, how about this. Why don't _you_ cook me something and bring it back? I mean, you _do_ have some of the finest restaurants in the whole city all around you, so… whaddya say, huh?"

"I can cook a steak. Supposedly." Opening her eyes again, she flexed her knee and sighed. It had begun to move without grinding the joint anymore.

"I'm up for that. Just make sure that it's hot."

"Wow, that's rude. You go running around a blazing hot city, and now Hope's gonna make you slave over a hot fire to bring _him_ a meal? I've never seen anything so pathetic, Lightning, really."

Lightning glared at the new voice. "Lumina. Been a while."

The girl was sitting beside her, swinging her legs with her ankles crossed. "It's true," she said, shrugging. "By the way, where's Caius? You know, the one whose help you need?" She leaned forward and gave Lightning a look of appeal capped off with a positively angelic-looking smile. Lightning scowled and looked away to focus on flexing her other knee. "Wait a second, he left you all _alone_?"

"He just didn't turn up," she muttered. Why did this girl insist on pestering her so much?

"Oh, you mean he _abandoned_ you."

Lightning didn't even flinch. "Really, now?"

"Oh, c'mon, it's not like he's your _friend_!" The girl giggled, rather obnoxiously, and stubbed the toe of her shoe on the ground, making a loud scraping sound. "I said he'd be a powerful ally, but that doesn't mean he's a friend. He is still a real dangerous man, and he _is_ under Yeul's direction."

Lightning looked at her, trying to ignore her, but doubt had begun to trickle in again. Had she pushed him away with her words, exchanging his power and knowledge for a more difficult path? If he had gone back to the temple, and she encountered another chaos beast, then what? Could she save herself, or would she be a victim of their power, as she had nearly been back in Luxerion just that morning?

Caius was an ally, but a man too deeply shrouded in secrets to truly know, and thus not to be trusted. If she couldn't trust him, how could he _truly_ help her?

"Don't forget how you used to hate him so," Lumina murmured. "He ruined everything. Besides, you've gotta focus on helping everyone else, right? Like, uh, Noel, and– oh, wait, that's right, you _saved_ Noel already!"

Lightning, not liking how the girl spoke, said, "What's your point?"

"Three guesses on who made the prophecy!"

Lightning clenched her jaw as she met Lumina's bright eyes with a fierce stare. Doubt clouded her mind and a cold feeling slunk through her blood. "You," she murmured.

Lumina giggled and clapped her hands. "Very good! Hey, look, I knew you'd save him, _obviously_. I just wanted to have a little bit of _fun_ while I was at it." Giggling again, she slid off the bench and spun once on her toes, ending the spin by facing Lightning with a very mischievous, very dark, sort of smirk.

"You were _having fun_?" Lightning summoned a semblance of anger and aimed it directly at Lumina. "You _broke his mind_, and it's _still_ laying around in pieces. If it hadn't been for Caius forcing him to face reality, and me being able to overcome his desire to _kill_ me, he couldn't have been salvaged. He would have been _lost_." She stood despite the discomfort it caused her and placed her hands on her hips. "You can't play with people's live like that for your own amusement. That is _beyond_ cruel. What is _wrong_ with you?"

Lumina's smirk lost its amusement. "Oh, so you don't think I'm cruel?" When Lightning's frown deepened, she abruptly vanished, leaving behind the sound of laughter.

There was silence for a time, and for a brief moment, Lightning wished that Hope were at her side. Sure, he could talk into her ear all day long, but that was no substitute for him being right there, tangible, within arm's length, a person to whom she could entrust all she was without worrying about judgment or fear. He could not leave the Ark, though, and it was no use hoping for things that could not be changed.

"So, uh, Lumina was responsible for the prophecy that broke Noel." Hope was quiet for a moment. "Lightning, be careful around her. That's obscene for _anyone_ to do."

Lightning nodded. "Yeah," she said, and looked back toward the palace. "So, any ideas yet?"

"About wh– oh. No, but I'm still looking. If I find any hints about how to get in there, I'll let you know. I will tell you those gates are charged, though, with a high-amperage electric current, very painful if not deadly if you touch them. Beyond those gates, the chaos readings start spiking really high, and there's so much chaos around the palace that it's a miracle no one there has been warped by it."

"Maybe something, or someone, is holding it back," she murmured. "That's all I can think, at least."

"I'd say it was a valid theory in this case."

"Keep me posted." She switched off the vox and moved closer to the gates again. Aware of the hum, she kept a safe distance, peering through the bars. The crowd had dispersed but for a small child riding on her father's shoulders and a tall, lanky man with bright blond hair who kept staring at her until she finally turned her head. He greeted her with a very goofy-looking, lopsided grin; she said, "Can I help you?"

"You're the felon who caused the ruckus, right?" Both eyebrows went up; she only stared at him. "Well, I won't say anything to the authorities. I know you're the Liberator and all. My sister's a member of the Order, and she used to talk about you a lot before she got stuck working in the cathedral for the past century, y'see."

"Okay." She wondered where this was going.

"Anyway, you're not gettin' back in this way." He shrugged. "There's a tour guide around here who has his ways of getting tourists in the, uh, 'back way', but he's skittish cuz of the guards, so he's hard to find sometimes. _But_, he tends to kinda stand out. You can't miss him if he's around."

Lightning stored the information away to retrieve later. This could be her way back in. "Where's he usually?"

"Around." The man rolled his eyes a bit.

Lightning folded her arms. "It's better if you just talk. I've got a job to do here."

"I dunno, but sometimes he hangs around here. Bright purple jumpsuit, goofy hat. You'll see him." With that, the man – probably barely out of his teens, and behaving as though he had yet to grow up – gave her a small wave and went back down the steps to the dusty main street. Lightning watched him go, gave the gates a lengthy glare for good measure, and made her way down the steps as well.

"Have you made any progress?"

The familiar, strong, low voice reached her from the bench she had vacated; she looked to Caius sitting casually in the shade, arms draped on his knees, and gazing up at her. Though his features remained impassive, they seemed less heavily armored than before, and his appearance overall less severe.

Lightning walked up to him, then, slowly, she lowered herself to the bench once more. "I saved a few people from the chaos, yeah," she said. "Nice of you to show up."

"You gave me the option," he reminded her.

Lightning took a moment to recall that memory before filing it away. "Did you go to the temple?" she said, and when he nodded, once, slowly, she continued, "What made you come back?"

"It was Yeul's request that I come here."

"Huh. She's got you whipped."

Now his expression hardened. "Yeul is my reason for existing. She always has been. She is the drive behind all of my actions and the only reason it took me so long to implement my plans." In the shade, his dark eyes seemed even more vast than before, and colder. "Of course I have a tendency to bend to her will."

"Of course," she murmured. "Alright. If she insisted, I guess you're moving with me from now on. No going back at random times, I'm guessing?"

"That is correct." Caius rose to his feet; Lightning did the same. "Where to, then?"

"I'm looking for someone. Some guy told me I'll know when I see him because he stands out so much." She briefly cast her gaze around the immediate area, but she saw nothing out of the ordinary. Perhaps it would take a bit more searching to find him. "Keep an eye out, and don't wander off."

They moved away from the shade. Lightning felt something nagging her at the back of her mind and found herself looking at Caius once again. He looked back at her, frowning slightly, dark eyes shadowy from the angle of the sun, and finally, she stopped, ignoring the heat of the sun.

"If we're going to make this work," she said, "maybe we should have some camaraderie."

"Camaraderie?" He stared hard at her. "What of it?"

"We'll be working together for a while yet, and the only way to make sure you don't disappear right when I happen to need you, _and_ make sure you don't get in the way of things, is to figure out some sort of way to work together as efficiently as possible." She remembered Lumina's words as she spoke. "Both of us have reached pretty much the upper limit of our power. Between the two of us, we can crush any resistance."

"There is no point in getting to know one another. Our time together is short, and it will be cut off long before we can get anywhere worthwhile." His expression darkened; Lightning felt her skin crawl in anticipation, and not in a good way. "You do not wish to get to know me."

"We're not 'getting to know' each other, Caius. That's not what I mean. I mean just getting past the _past_ to focus instead on the here and now."

Some of the darkness vanished from his expression. "You wish to set aside our experience in Valhalla, hard feelings, and destructive relationship, long enough to secure a path to the new world. Is that what you are after, Liberator?"

"Yes," she said, nodding, "that's exactly it."

Caius said nothing. He seemed to be thinking. Despite the uncomfortable relationship they had, they'd already been able to push past it a few times and work together. The best way to receive his help was to make sure he would be open to giving it. She had long ago learned that the help of others could be valuable, and to turn away the aid of someone as powerful as Caius would border on absurd. He had been her enemy once, but circumstances had forced a change upon the way of the world. For now, Caius was not a threat, and very soon, she would be free of the burden of memory the sight of him brought to her.

In that moment, she knew that she had done the right thing.

When his gaze dropped to the ground, she said, "I'm willing to do anything to help Serah," she murmured, "even put up with you. No more pushing you away, and no more running. All I want is your help facing the unique dangers of this chaos-infested world. When the days are up, it's all over with."

His eyes flicked to hers. "You will make no attempt to save me from the chaos, and you will make no attempt to turn me from your side again. Those are _my_ conditions."

Lightning exhaled silently this time, but his conditions were acceptable. "I accept." She shifted her weight. "Just remember, we are _not_ friends. I'm not putting up with you so we can get on good terms. I want to save Serah, and I am willing to do _anything_ to save her. I don't care what happens to me, as long as she can be safe again. I don't care how much pain it might bring me to have to be with you."

His features stayed hard. "I will do whatever it takes to ease Yeul's burden. She wishes me to be here with you. Therefore, I shall do as she requests, and in turn, what you request."

The pact was made, and sealed in words.

"Alright." She breathed in, and let it out, slowly. "Alright. Help me find this tour guide, now."

The two of them searched all over the street, peering into every corner and side alley, for nearly half an hour before they finally found a man dressed in a skintight purple jumpsuit and adorned with enough random pieces of décor to make her wonder if he had crashed into a reject clothing sale. None of the passerby gave him more than a brief, sidelong glance, if they even gave him that. She got the impression that he was a normal part of the city and a very normal sight even with his absurd appearance.

She was within ten steps of him when he decided to focus his attention on her, instead of the strange contraption – a mishmash of boxes, drums, and brass instruments – sitting on the ground before him. "Hey, pretty lady," he said, and flashed her a wide grin. Lightning cringed slightly at the sight of it. "Sounds like you're responsible for getting rid of all those nasty guards. Good on you, and thanks for that."

"I didn't do it for you. They were giving _me_ a hard time." She raised an eyebrow. "So, I heard you're able to get tourists into the Augur's Quarter."

The man, tall, athletic, blond-haired with dark roots – probably bleached – let his grin melt away. "Figures. People always want _something_. Yeah, I can do it, but it'll cost ya, and you _do_ have to make sure you're in the designated area on time, or you'll get left behind. Two grand, up front, no take backs."

Lightning exchanged a look with Caius. "Two grand. In gil?"

The man stared at her. "No, two grand's worth of rocks, in pounds. _Of course_ in gil, woman."

She mentally rolled her eyes. "And if I don't have two grand?"

"Then I don't got two words."

Lightning blinked at him. "I have other ways of making you do what I want."

Though his expression stayed neutral, she didn't miss the way his eyes briefly darted down her body… before abruptly looking over at Caius and his steady stare. Some of the grit seemed to leave the man's bones. "Uh, well, threatening me really isn't what you want to do. Besides, if you're so tough, go shove your way in there." Though he looked at her, his eyes darted back to Caius at least twice.

Lightning realized that having him around might have more uses than she thought. "The idea is to get in as quietly as possible. I'd rather not wave my sword around."

Caius folded his arms; the man shifted his weight. "I'll cut you a deal. I've gotta make money somehow, so just take it and deal with it, will you? A thousand gil for a ticket backstage. It's good for six p.m. sharp, any evening from now to the end of the world, but only once. And they'll stamp it to be sure, just so you know."

Lightning advanced a step. "Is that the best you can do?"

He yawned. "It leaves me about four hundred gil in profit, but yeah, it's the best. I'm not the only one trying to make a living here, you know. Deal with it."

Finally, she nodded and fished around in her pack. She found a thousand gil in the form of ten large coins, each of them representing one hundred gil, and dropped them in his palm. He scrutinized them, counted twice, and opened a box at his feet. From the shadowy recesses, he withdrew a piece of paper with black writing and handed it to her.

"Note the time and conditions on the ticket. Be there by six or you'll have to wait 'til next evening."

Lightning turned away, looking down at the ticket for a moment. "Here's a map," she said. "Looks like the starting point is on the other side of the city near the warehouse district. From there, it follows the monorail tracks to where the supply lines for the palace cut through the Augur's Quarter." She felt Caius standing at her elbow and looked up to see him gazing intently at the ticket. "Guess it's part of some sort of 'guided tour'."

"What is the purpose of this… tour?"

Lightning skimmed the ticket. "So the middle class can see the big show Director Sarzhak puts on every evening. It's otherwise only for the rich. Looks like they bribed security a long time ago to get this started." She looked at him again. "It's a play of some sort – the 'Ballad of the Liberator', it's called. Interesting."

His lips twitched. "It sounds like something the Order came up with."

Glancing around, she saw one of the posters she had seen all over town just to her right. It showed a woman in a purple floor-length dress on a balcony in front of the statue adorning the plaza in the Augur's Quarter. Printed in large, golden letters were the words "Ballad of the Liberator".

Staring for a moment at the title, she wondered if some powerful entity found the word choice amusing.

"The plan is to follow the supply lines into the palace and hope we are not caught?"

"Apparently," she said, shrugging. "If it works, then I'm game."

"Six p.m. it is, then," he said. "But until then?"

Lightning pocketed the ticket. "Until then, we'll go to the Dead Dunes."

"The sands will be very hot. You wish to travel there before the ground has cooled for the night?"

"Don't have much else to do."

He looked away. "Have you nothing in the wilds?"

Her expression tightened. "We're going to the desert, Caius Ballad."

His gaze returned to hers. The sun shone on his hair, highlighting its slight coarseness while making it glitter like fibers made of amethyst. Even his armor shone, if dully, in the sunlight. Valhalla had not had much sunlight, usually overcast or very gray, so it was a bit startling to see him look considerably less gloomy than she was used to. "Do you feel well enough to travel in spite of teleporting twice already today?"

"Yeah. I just need to get back to Luxerion's South Station and then go from there to the desert."

He nodded. "I shall meet you there." He became a wisp of chaos that soon dissipated, leaving her alone.

* * *

_From here on, the chapters are going to be longer and I'm going to pack more into them. No more padding like I've been (somewhat unintentionally) doing. My usual practice is to write chapters that are about 7,000 words, and most of these have been 5,000 or less, so there will be an improvement in the narrative going forward. I realize there was a lot of stumbling in this story up to this point, and I honestly do appreciate all of you critiquing and criticizing to bring it to my attention. I'm going to do my best to make the chapters much higher quality going forward, which means greater gaps between updates, but don't worry, I won't abandon it, ever._

_Thanks for reading, and please let me know what you think. Always feel free to tell me what I can do better - it helps._


	16. Repercussions

_**15 Repercussions**_

The cathedral, in the middle of the day, bustled endlessly, with the constant comings and goings of clerics making for a noisy approach, but Sazh found it somewhat, if oddly, relaxing after the centuries of silence in the wilderness. He made his way through the crowds, excusing himself and dodging traffic often, until he crossed the threshold of the grand building and the vaulted ceiling made all the bustle echo distantly.

Chocolina, nestled on his shoulder in her chocobo form, didn't make a peep, though her little head turned all around and he felt her tiny feet move as she rotated to look.

At the end of the numerous rows of pews, the red carpet terminated at a few short marble steps, at the top of which, near an altar, stood a tall woman. Apparently the head priestess, she spoke in a booming voice the ceiling happily carried all around the huge expanse of the cathedral's interior. There were many people seated in the pews, all of them fixated on her, some of them with their mouths slightly open.

But what caught his attention far more than her priestess was the woman beside her, shorter and dressed in colorful tresses deeply contrasting the other's black and white robe. Her red hair hid beneath the headdress she balanced atop her head, her hands clasped, her eyes staring without seeing, but–

The angle of her jaw, the hue of her hair, the way she held her hands before her breastbone in a familiar way–

He _knew_ her instantly.

Sazh stopped at the base of the stairs. "Vanille! Hey, Vanille! It's me, it's Sazh!"

Her gaze suddenly came alive, flicking to his, and a look of joy covered her face. "Sazh!" she cried, and came rushing to him even as the priestess stuttered and snapped off a snide remark behind her. Punctuated by a hushed gasp from the audience, she took both of his hands. "I don't _believe_ it! How did you find me? It's been so _long_!"

"Hey, now, one thing at a time!" he said, but found himself grinning.

She was grinning, too, ear to ear, and somehow, he just _knew_ this was not something she had done very often. Pushing most of the questions he had to the back of his mind, he let her throw her thin arms around him and hug him, but there was something in the way she did it that made him hug her back tightly. He felt her chest heave once – still so much a kid, in so many ways, he realized, and felt his heart ache. How much more had she been through since those fateful days? How long had she been awake? Why was Fang not with her?

"Stay away from the saint!" The priestess shoved herself between them. Vanille was forced back, gasping as she stumbled. "No one is allowed to touch her but those anointed by the Order!"

"Oh, _bite_ me!" Sazh told her, sharply and sourly. "I _know_ this girl! You're just her _watchman_!"

"Sazh, it's okay!" Vanile called to him, flashing him an unmistakable – forced – smile as she did. The audience had begun to stir, some of them on their feet now, and a grand fuss had begun that filled the air with so much noise that he felt his head begin to ache from it all. It wasn't until he heard a shout and the sound of someone crying out in shock that he realized he really _was_ in trouble.

Chocolina squeaked loudly and burrowed into his hair, the safest possible place at the moment, and he felt his hands fly on instinct to his pistols – centuries old, but perfectly maintained and still very much in working order – as the guards descended upon him and the madness abruptly ensued.

"Man, nothing's changed," he grumbled, and released the pistols from their holsters. "_Still_ can't catch a break!"

"Sazh! Hey! Stop it, all of you!" Vanille shouted somewhere to his right.

The guards were well-trained, he saw, clad in thick metal armor that shone tarnished bronze in the light, their rifles coming about on him and the bayonet under the barrel gleaming. This sent the audience into a panic, and as they fled in a mad scramble, the priestess started screaming something.

"Hey, now, _she_ came over and touched _me_ first, would you just–" But of course the guards paid him no heed as the priestess continued shouting things and the cathedral emptied, the audience scurrying to get out of the way of rifles and blades, while Sazh felt adrenaline spritz through his veins. They were merely protecting their saint, probably not really understanding what was going on, but that could get him killed, or at least maimed.

"Vashti!" Vanille shouted. "Stop! By Pulse, _call them off_, will you? Enough already!"

The priestess stuttered. "But, my–"

"_No_, that's _enough_! Call them off! Sazh is a friend. They're not needed!"

The woman shouted a single word at the top of her lungs, and the guards stopped running. Faceless because of the strange, jewel-like faceplates on their cylindrical helmets, they stayed right where they were, rifles still aimed at him, but didn't make another move or take another step.

"All of you overreact way too much." Vanille stepped back into his field of view. "Go on back to your posts. That's quite enough nonsense. Same to you, Vashti, it's alright."

The priestess faced her. "Will you be safe?"

"I'll be _fine_." Now she sounded irritated. "Please, go on."

Vashti, the priestess, gave a quick bow and a glare to Sazh, her eyes barely visible through the black mask about her eyes, before turning and striding away. The grand audience hall was practically empty, except for a few people still standing around or just getting up from where they had hidden between the pews. The guards, slowly, went back to their original posts, and Vanille faced Sazh with a sheepish look.

"Sorry," she said. "They're, uh, kind of protective."

He warily holstered his pistols. "Yeah, uh, I can…" He glanced around. "…see that. Um, why is that?"

She sighed, folding her arms. "Because I'm their saint. I can feel the people trapped in the chaos, something no one else can do. I can communicate with them, too. There's something very important that will happen here at the end of days, and I have to do it. No one else can do it, and it has to be here."

Noting her melancholic tone, he frowned. "What's going on? They have no choice but to keep you here?"

She shook her head. "If I leave, something could happen to me, so I stay."

"Is that why Fang isn't with you?"

Her eyes flicked to his, and he realized with a start that they weren't as green as they used to be. Instead, they were mostly gray with a faint green tinge. "There's plenty of reasons for that," she said. "She felt there was something much more important in the desert, so she left me in the care of the Order. It's alright, Sazh," she assured him as he felt his frown deepening, "I'm safe here, as you saw. They won't let anything happen to me."

"Lightning said you were caged up," he growled. "Guess she was right."

"Sazh, please," she said, more sternly now, "I'm fine here. Things will turn out fine. Now, we have to get the people back in here to continue the sermon, and it may be best if you go for now."

"Wait," he said as she turned away, "I'm here about Dajh."

She stopped. "Dajh? What about him?"

There was silence for some time. During those moments of quiet, Vanille slowly turned around, looking at him with wide, ancient eyes, her mouth set into a thin line. For a moment, he couldn't find his voice, struggling to decide how to ask the questions that tangled in his mind. He felt his mouth opening and closing, but she just stood there, patient as ever, waiting for him to speak without an ounce of judgment.

Dajh was gone, swept away by the chaos sometime after it had first broken into the world. Caius Ballad had been to blame, and yet he had been the one to reveal the boy's absence, while he himself believed the dark warrior's words that he had not directly caused his son's disappearance. Now, Dajh could be anywhere, drifting in the chaos or out in the cosmos or somewhere else beyond time and space. This young woman could give him answers, but first he had to determine how best to form his thoughts into words.

At last, he took a deep breath, steadying himself, and said, "Dajh was asleep for centuries, I thought. Then, today, I found out that it was just a chaos illusion, built out of my own hopes. He hasn't been asleep forever. He, uh… he fell asleep sometime after the chaos came. He got swept away then, I know it. Vanille, I know you can communicate with the people trapped in it. Have you seen him? Heard him?"

Her eyes narrowed somewhat. "It's… it's hard to separate the voices." Now her gaze fell to the floor. "The next time I go back there, I'll look, but… I haven't heard anything. I'm sorry."

Sazh's face hardened. "If you do, you tell him his old man is looking for him, and he won't stop until he does."

Vanille's features softened. "I will. I promise."

There was another bit of silence before she turned and continued back to the altar. As she neared it, Sazh caught the way her gait seemed to drag slightly, her shoulders not as strong as they used to be – her whole body painting a picture of a woman burdened by the future. Something was off, completely – like when she had lied about being the one who had ravaged Cocoon, or presented her happy façade to prevent anyone from seeing the fear and guilt that lay hidden beneath it. Something was wrong, and he knew it.

"Vanille," he murmured, gently, "come on, let's get out of here. Let's go. You can always come back."

She didn't look at him. "No. I mustn't. I _have_ to stay."

"What about Fang? You don't think she misses you, even if she 'had' to leave? And what about Hope? The two of you were pretty close. Don't you wanna see _him_? Everyone else misses you, too, I'm sure. You can't stay cooped up in this cathedral, living out the final days–"

"I've been here for thirteen years already, Sazh," she said. "A few more days won't hurt."

Silence fell but for the breeze whispering through the aisle.

"Now, please, Sazh, go. Keep looking for your son. It'll all be over soon."

Reluctantly, Sazh did as she asked, but as he went back down the aisle, resolve formed in his mind. Even if he had to bring a whole cavalry with him to do it, he was getting Vanille out of this place that stank of death and chaos. There was something horribly _wrong_ here, and he did not know what it was, but somehow, he knew that to allow her to stay for the final days would end in more trouble than it was worth.

And with the familiar way she carried herself around this place, bearing her burdens all on her own, there was no doubt in his mind that she was once again hiding something from them all.

He _had_ to get her out of there.

* * *

The train rolled into a dusty, dilapidated train station, and the crushingly dry heat of the land squeezed her chest in a vise the instant she stepped off. "I'm afraid this is your stop, Light," Hope said. "Welcome to the desert."

She glanced around. "I don't remember there being desert on Gran Pulse."

"This used to be a lakebed, but there was some geological upheaval over the centuries, so it got shaped into a sort of island. Couple that with the lack of normal weather patterns, and you've got a fine recipe for a desert island right in the middle of the Sea of Chaos." There was a pause. "The only big settlement I see is one called 'Ruffian' in the island's interior. Everything else is sand and rock. There's a couple of little settlements, one near this station and another at the north end, but…" He sighed. "There's a lot of ground to cover. Please be careful, especially since I won't be able to reach you easily."

She squinted into the shimmering sands. "Why not?"

"Caius carries a lot of chaos with him. He contains it well, but I still have trouble getting through at times. Nothing like in the temple or anything, though."

Lightning switched off the vox and glanced around again. This time, she saw Caius, leaning against the wall and bathed in shadow, gazing steadily at her with his arms loosely folded. The only other visible inhabitant of the station was a man in a dusty stationmaster's uniform who sat in a chair in the shade. He didn't bother to look up the whole time she stood there, even when the train went rolling off again.

"We need to find the shortest route to the island's interior," she said.

Caius continued to gaze steadily at her. "I did some scouting while I waited. I believe I have found the best path for us, as long as you do not deviate from my suggestions."

She moved closer and panted softly for a second, blindsided by the heat. "Hope you know what you're doing."

"You will need to trust me either way."

Her eyes returned to his and fixed him with a solid stare. "Trust you?"

Moving away from the wall, he walked closer, arms loose at his sides, and stopped two feet away. Lightning met his eyes without hesitation and, to her surprise, found it less difficult than before. Any hostility the man had carried in his soul toward her had either vanished or lessened enough that she could no longer see it. _He's still a dangerous man_. Lumina's words came back to her even as she gazed into his eyes, again feeling as though she stared into the heart of the cosmos… and not really understanding why.

"Only in this matter," he said, and his gaze had fixed with hers. Neither of them looked away, and she didn't even feel the inkling of a desire to. "You need not trust me in anything else. I do not deserve nor desire your trust in any other matter. I merely wish to keep you alive."

"But to do that, I've got to trust you've picked a good path." Her eyes flicked between his. "Alright, then."

Caius's chin lowered slightly. "This desert is not safe, Lightning. We must be careful."

"Between you and me, we can handle it."

"Lightning," he said, a little more firmly, "like the Wildlands, this island sits on the brink of a rift in space and time. The Historia Crux bleeds into our world here, and chaos has mingled with it until the lines between reality and dream have blurred." He tilted his head, eyes narrowing. "There are things here in this desert that should not exist, and yet they are as real as you and I are. When I say to be careful, I mean it."

Lightning felt her skin prickle. "Is it like Valhalla?"

"Not as extreme, but, in a way."

Feeling a shiver pass through her body, she looked out at the desert, more warily this time. In her hand materialized the heavily stylized sunglasses Bhunivelze had gifted her – a polarized, wraparound pair that shielded her eyes from the brilliant glare of light on the sands. Caius had reminded her of the impossible creatures of Valhalla, who came in from the Rift, the connection between all worlds – things of pure time, or pure chaos, or pure entropy, things her human mind simply could not fully understand. This world's laws might prevent such mind-bending monstrosities from existing in true form, but if the possibility even existed…

Feeling a distant flash of anxiety, she stepped out into the sands and felt them give beneath her feet. Frowning, she took a few more steps; her feet sank slightly, but beneath, the earth was so tightly packed that she could dig in a little more and pick up speed to a jog if she needed. Her first obstacle was a windswept dune with a sharp edge on top that blocked progression to the interior.

Her second was the infernal heat of the sun on her shoulders.

Mentally, she cursed her human body for still being a slave to the most basic necessities. She could practically feel the water being sucked out of her skin. Scanning quickly, she saw a small collection of tents a short distance away and veered toward them, sensing Caius following her close behind, hoping that at least one of those tents had some fresh water that she could use to quench her growing thirst.

Finding a tent labeled promisingly, she picked up the flap and stepped into its cool, shadowy interior. Caius entered behind her, briefly casting a long, black shadow before dropping the flap. A small, middle-aged woman tended the register and greeted them when they walked in, and Lightning looked around, smelling the distinct, bitter tinge of deep-freeze AMP technology used to keep objects in extreme cold in high-heat locations.

"For all your power, you must still tend to your body's needs," Caius said as she wandered over to a frosted glass door and peered through it at the selection of liquid-filled plastic bottles. "I would have thought Bhunivelze would have stripped those away to make you more efficient."

She opened the door and briefly reveled in the rush of very cold air. Snagging a bottle from the top shelf, she said, "I guess he couldn't, or he would've made me invulnerable, too. Hope likes to remind me I can still die."

"You nearly did when you fell into that building in Luxerion."

She squeezed the bottle, feeling the plastic give slightly, and looked carefully at him. "Yeah," she murmured, recalling how she had awoken to his concerned features hovering over hers and the way his eyes had chastised and worried even when all that had left his lips was barely the latter.

After paying for the bottle, she lashed it to her utility belt and went back out into the blazing heat. Pausing, she looked at Caius, and he nodded and began to walk at a steady, ground-eating pace that she had to jog a little to catch up with. Unable to match the length of his strides, she quickened her pace, maintaining her position a small distance behind him. As they traveled, at first she stared at his back and sometimes her mind wandered off into all the things she had yet to do, but eventually her eyes roamed, and soon she forgot about the walking.

The desert stretched as far as her eyes could see, broken up by rippling dunes and huge rock formations that pierced the cloudless skies. A bone-white lighthouse, probably bleached by the sun, towered highest on the island, the sun overpowering its single light perched at the apex. The interior was surrounded, fortress-like, by rock towers, layers of bedrock, and what appeared to be a salt flat she glimpsed as they climbed atop a dune.

When they reached the top, she slowed. Her eyes roamed across the brilliant, dry, dusty expanse – a dead island, filled with sand and heat, with no movement or life that she could see, its ceiling consisting of brilliant blue sky and a blazing white sun. Now stopping, she raised her arms, feeling the dry, hot breeze blow across her exposed skin and stir her hair, and took a breath. The air smelled and tasted bitter and wild, tinged with the distinct scent of chaos but bearing the sweetness of open land.

"This place is dead," she murmured, "but it's one of the most beautiful I've ever seen."

Caius's soft snort came to her; she looked at him in confusion to see his expression soften when he looked back at her. "This is hardly a dead land," he said. "Look ahead and down. Do you see the ripple in the sand there? And look to your left – do you see the shadow in the sky?"

Lightning blinked and looked down the dune's slope at the valley formed by the winds below. Her eyes adjusted to the shadows, and soon she saw something twitching in the sand. As she stared, a fin suddenly popped out and threw sand into the air, where it landed in dark piles. A familiar chittering sound came to her, and a scaly, large, flat head briefly protruded before vanishing again.

When she looked to her left, wheeling over the faintly-visible beach was a beast with a broad wingspan, and now she heard it calling faintly across the desert.

"This place teems with life," Caius said to her. "You simply must know where to look."

Her eyes returned to his. "Sahagin in the desert and a raptor in the sky."

His lips twitched. "Familiar sights."

For an instant, her mind traveled back through her memories to images of Gran Pulse's nights, when the air lay thick with the scent of evening blossoms, when predators called endlessly into the night, when insects sang and falls churned melodically over rocks and through channels into pools of crystalline water. A memory of how the beauty had made her worries feel far away caused her lips to turn up at one corner.

The crackle of static in her ear ripped her out of those memories, and Hope's voice came through. "I found a little m… inform… about the …ettlement." His voice, broken up by the static, sounded very strange. "It's… pected Fang m… be there. Might want to be …ful, though …bandits."

Enough came through that she understood the overall meaning. "Keep me posted."

Caius's expression had gone back to neutral. "From here, we must go down to the rocks," he said. "Tread carefully. If you fall, it is a long way to the bottom."

Lightning winced at the thought of hitting anything if she happened to slip.

The sun continued its march overhead and had visibly moved by the time the two of them made it to the sandy bedrock that surrounded the interior. The desert's silence seemed amplified, except for the call of raptors from in the distance, the skittering of small, clawed feet in the labyrinthine twists and turns of the rocks, and the sound of their steps echoing quietly around them. Somehow, though, the rocks seemed to both amplify _and_ swallow the sounds, and the hard surface beneath her feet made her knees ache.

After a few minutes of traveling, she unlaced the bottle she had only barely touched from her belt, leaned against the rocks, and took a long, greedy swig of the still-chilled contents.

Caius stopped a short distance away. "Try not to give yourself cramps, Lightning," he muttered.

She swallowed and glared at him. "This isn't my first rodeo, Caius."

He moved closer to her, and when she slid her back down the rock to sit on the cooler stone floor, he sat beside her, close enough that it made her a little uneasy, but she quickly suppressed those feelings of anxiety and again took a swallow – smaller and slower this time – from the bottle.

For a few long minutes, they sat in silence. Lightning stared at the patterns of sunlight on the rocks and watched tiny lizards dart across a large stone. Two of them met head-to-head and briefly clashed, all lashing tails and flailing, sticky toes, before disappearing as fast as they had arrived.

"Not much further?" she said.

This close, she actually _heard_ the sound of his hair brushing his armored shoulders. It was a quiet sound, very soft, reminding her of the brush of grass blades against one another. That was how she knew he had turned his head to look at her, and when she did the same, she felt a sensation like dropping her stomach into ice-cold water at the rather shocking proximity he had to turn. It was closer than at the table in Luxerion, his shoulder maybe two inches from hers – the absolute _closest_ he had ever been to her…

And yet… she found that she wasn't afraid as much as merely… _anxious_.

_He's dangerous_, her sensibility reminded her, scraping lightly at the back of her mind with unsheathed claws, but the voice had grown hollow and more bitter than truthful. Lumina's words battled against her sensible understanding of the current situation, and she suddenly found herself struggling to recall the sensation of Valhalla… but _all _of the emotion she had ever felt during those long battles had been torn away. What had been left behind turned out to be little more than the frayed echoes of feeling fluttering in the wind of the void.

_Did I not hate you once?_ She could recall feeling that she had hated him, but no matter how she searched, she could not dredge up any of it, and so, she cast those thoughts aside.

"Perhaps another ten minutes of walking, if we are able to keep up the pace."

She nodded, turning the bottle over in her hands and staring blankly at it. "I'll be glad when this is over," she said, very softly. "When we all make it to the new world, once Serah is safe with Snow and myself again, everything will be set right." She took a deep breath. "It will be the first time I'll be at peace."

The sensation of his eyes on her came to her; she turned her head again to meet his eyes once more. "You and Serah deserve to have such peace," he told her.

"Especially after everything we've been through." She let her head fall back and closed her eyes. "To think, from the beginning, everything I've done has been for Serah's sake. Literally, _everything_. This battle started with the Purge, and now I'm seeing it through primarily to save _her_."

"Remember, Lightning, that this world is suffering and dying because of the extent _I_ had been prepared to go to save someone just as dear to me."

She let the silence sit between them for a few moments. Only then did she allow her eyes to open to slits, and she stared up into the sky without really seeing. "I'm not going to lose it and destroy the world, though."

She heard him rise to his feet. "That is what I had believed, once."

"Maybe so, but I'm definitely not you."

"I am aware of that."

Lightning returned the nearly-empty bottle to her belt and stood up. Without another word, they continued on into the island's rocky, shadowy interior, but now she found herself staring at his back, thinking. She had been willing to do anything, even sacrifice her future and remain in endless war in Valhalla, to protect Serah and the others from an unjust fate. On the opposite end of the spectrum, Caius had been willing to do anything, even risk permanent death, to save all of the Yeuls across all timelines from what he perceived to be an unjust fate.

_No_, she thought, clamping down on any rebellious wanderings of the mind. _The similarities are nonexistent. Caius is a destroyer of worlds. I am a guardian of them_.

"So," she murmured, "speaking of Yeul, what makes her so special that she happened to be the only one who caused the end of the world? Why wasn't it anyone else with strong emotions?"

He did not look at her. "Yeul was the first human. Her essence has existed in one form or another since time began."

Lightning raised an eyebrow. "So she _wasn't_ being sent back against her will?"

"Yes, and no," he said, but his tone had gone stiff.

Recognizing the warning, she still felt the need to press further. "How so?"

So suddenly that it shocked her, Caius stopped and pivoted to face her with the speed and grace she had been used to facing. When the red haze of instinct fell away, she found her hand on her sword. Caius's eyes bored into hers; she felt the contradictory sensations of her heart suddenly walling itself up with armor while her defenses and bravado melted away. For the first time, when she met his eyes, she saw something raw and powerful that, after a moment, caused her to drop her gaze.

"Etro sent her back time and again because she would not pass on into the next world for eternity as other humans do," he said. His voice was stiff, hard, and so painfully sharp-edged that, had it been a physical entity, it would have been as hard and cruel as his sword. "Her inability to do so meant her essence continued to build in Valhalla until she became a chaos all her own. The bonds between her various lives created something impossible to control. It was always only a matter of time before the dam Etro had crafted finally broke."

Lightning swallowed. "You didn't know before now."

"_No_." Caius practically spat the word. "These things she withheld from me until after the world had been poisoned by the chaos." There were a few moments of silence; she tentatively lifted her gaze again to see his eyes closed and expression completely neutral. She heard him breathing deep, regaining control. "It is too late to be concerned about such things now," he murmured at last, voice flat once more.

Lightning flexed her fingers. She had just seen Caius's rage, just for a moment, flaring bright and hot as it ever had in Valhalla, and yet it had been so badly stunted all the same that it was as if his own heart had been taken away or sealed tight. That he could regain control over it so quickly made her curious, and nervous.

The man she had known had never been able to control himself so well.

When he turned his back, she followed him without saying another word. Her hands rose to clasp her arms, fingers squeezing the flesh and skeletal metal. Caius's moment of rage deepened her curiosity, making her wonder what sort of passion and raw power lay beneath the thick plating he had drawn up over the storm in his heart. Perhaps Lumina _had_ been right – maybe he could still be pushed to the edge, still be able to focus his anger so it spelled doom for all around him. If he ever lost control again, what could the consequences be?

The angry warrior was still there, she realized, buried in the darkness of his heart. The man who wanted to keep her alive was something new, a shell placed over the top, keeping the rest of him sealed beneath.

_He is still a dangerous man_.

Lightning raised her gaze once more to Caius's back and again saw the inscription written in Etro's ancient language across the broadest part of his back. The gold stood out and shone against the deeper hues of purple and black that made up the rest of his armor. His hair hid a bit of it, but she could see it well enough. It proclaimed to all who could read the dead language, _undying witness of infinite fate_.

Etro had probably gifted him his armor many long centuries ago after she had given him her heart and inscribed her words across his back at that time, as she had done so on her own Valkyrian sword and shield.

"You were cursed from the start," she murmured.

Caius's steps never faltered. "The consequences of my actions are mine to bear. Blame me all you wish, but do not give me your sympathy. I neither deserve nor wish it."

Lightning stared at the back of the walking contradiction before her for what felt like an eternity.

* * *

Caius maintained an air of neutrality. Inside, he seethed at Lightning.

She dared. She _dared_ pry open the wound.

He had spent many centuries plotting and planning Etro's death, his own death, or the death of Cocoon if the other plans failed. He had been able to push all of his failures to the back of his mind – that he had been so brazenly planning the deaths of countless people, never knowing the truth and refusing to listen when anyone tried to tell him otherwise – and now Lightning had happily torn open that bitter wound again.

_Control_. Again taking a deep breath, he steadied his raging heart, stifling the black flames, reminding himself that he had to continue to hold himself together.

She had not spoken for some minutes now; he forced the anger to fizzle out.

His heart had always ruled his head.

As they exited out of the narrow passage carved between two towering walls of rock and stone onto a wide, dusty path formed out of a split, he moved closer to the wall and again struggled to stay calm. For many years since the end of the world, he had practiced self-control, something he had lost long ago in the latter decades of the old world, and now he needed to get it back or he would not be able to maintain it for eternity.

A shadow flicked in the distance; he stopped.

Lightning instantly froze. "What?"

When the shadow flickered again, closer this time, he darted straight across to a cleft in the rock just large enough for both of them. Lightning followed on his heels; he stopped just outside the entrance and motioned for her to go first. Once she had, he followed her, backed as far in as he could, and braced himself against the rock, careful to keep himself between her and any potential danger.

Lightning hovered beside him, her back fitted into the arch in the cleft, and when he looked, her sky-blue eyes were wide but focused. Her chin was rather close to his shoulder, giving him a good look at her face before he had to look away. She _was_ an attractive woman, he observed.

The shadow passed overhead, slowly, blotting out the sky, but the sun's rays and the haze of heat blurred its shape to make it difficult to see. It was _enormous_, though, with a wingspan that dwarfed the breadth of the chasm, and flew just above the cliff's topmost edge, as though it owned the area.

"What is it?" she breathed.

Caius frowned. "I have not identified anything specific, but it appears this is a being feared by the locals, enough that those who see its shadow immediately seek shelter. It seems to kill at random and without apparent reason."

She shifted her weight. "I'll kill _it_, then."

Expecting such a response, he climbed back out of the cleft. "Only if I can help."

He heard her snort behind him. "Well…" There was a pause. "Actually, that's not a bad idea. If we run into it out in the desert, we'll _have_ to take it down. But, uh, I'm guessing that's probably not the only big beast around here, if what you're saying is true."

"Perhaps." He looked at her. "We are nearly there."

Some minutes later, after circling around a vortex of sand and wind that blocked any passage through the most direct path, they came to the top of a slope and looked down through the haze at the valley below. Directly ahead, a structure carved out of the bedrock and blanketed in sand stared back at them. Across a small stretch of sand was a pool fed by a spring that bubbled and rippled faintly near the cliff. Large palm trees, some with shaggy fronds, drooped over the water, a couple of them heavy with small unripe fruits.

Lightning moved right to the edge and crouched, using one hand to steady herself. "Must be where the bandits are," she said, and straightened again. A hand came up to her headset, and he heard a _click_. "Hey, Hope? Can you tell me anything about these bandits?" She moved away; he folded his arms and waited.

For about a minute, Lightning interfaced with the boy in the Ark, nodding often and staring down at the building in the sand. Caius scanned it, looking for signs of life, but nothing moved in the shadows and the glare of the sun on the sand made it impossible to see the interior of the building.

Lightning came back to him then. "Hope seems to think Fang might be down there. He also wanted me to be careful around the bandits." She sighed. "As if I can't protect myself."

"He seems to be very concerned for you."

"That's his job." She looked sidelong at him. "Hope's entire purpose is to guide me through these final days. He was anointed by Bhunivelze to serve me. When all of this is over, he won't have to do _that_ anymore, either. Yeah, he can get a little overprotective, but I guess it's kind of to be expected for what he does."

Hope was _intended_ to keep her alive and safe. Did that make Yeul's desire for him to be here redundant?

"Alright," she said, and grunted. "Let's go."

There was no direct path down the cliff that did not involve falling into a very shallow pool of water. Instead, they had to circle around to the left and climb carefully down a sandy slope consisting mostly of smooth bedrock. She picked her way carefully enough, but there were several times when her feet shot out from under her and she had to slide down sideways before regaining her grip. Caius had similar problems, mostly surefooted, but the sand tended to give at the most ridiculous times, and finally he just went down to the bottom of the slope and stood at the corner to wait for her as she continued to pick her way down.

The slope became gravel several feet from the bottom, an artifact of the area's time as a lakebed. When her feet hit the loose stones, she skidded and made to take a few running steps down to solid ground. Once there, she then slid on the sand-coated rock, but righted herself without doing more than going down on one knee.

Caius raised an eyebrow. "Well done, Lightning."

As she brushed herself off, he caught a glimpse of smugness on her face. "Not bad, I guess."

A few more rocks clattered down the slope, echoing in the towering cliffs. There was no other sound. Lightning finished brushing herself off and began making her way toward the building. Caius stayed close to her, reaching out with his senses, using the ambient chaos to extend his reach. Only then did he grow aware of individual presences in the cliffs, tucked in clefts or behind stones or brush and sensed all their eyes on them. At the same time, he felt the sensation of more waiting in the building. They had been watching all this time.

Carefully, he probed their senses. It was an imperfect method, probing the aura of chaos around them in an attempt to understand intent, but it was all he had.

When he found flickers of red, he reached out, the tips of his fingers landing on her shoulder.

Lightning stopped dead and fixed him with a cold glare, but he let his hand drop away when their eyes met, frowned slightly, and nodded toward the opening of the building.

After a moment, the meaning sunk in. Her slow nod was all he needed; her hand lifted the broken crimson sword off her back, the gold plating practically glowing in the light, and her shield, which she had collapsed hours ago, came open. A twinge of admiration touched him; this was not Yeul, a frail girl whose core of steel could not protect her from the dangers of the world. This was a great warrior, a woman who had more than proven to be his equal, enough times that to call her anything less would be the worst of insults to her character.

Again, their eyes met, and he gave her a nod this time.

Without a sound except her boots pounding on the gravelly desert floor, she came around the corner between them and the nearest opening to the building, raising her sword as she came about, himself close on her heels, and only when she was inside did she unleash her distinctive war cry – loud enough to rattle the stones and echo off the walls to add such a fierceness that their would-be attackers came stumbling out looking stunned and unfocused.

She took the left half; he took the right, mimicking her movements.

Yelps of terror and shock escaped all those around them as they struggled to get out of the way or fought for a good perch from which to fire their guns or use their blades. Lightning, though, as he saw when he glanced back at her, crowded them too fast and knocked several off their feet. With the flat of the blade, she tripped others. Several more bandits streamed into the building; she turned on them.

Caius did not bother with the sword and used his bare hands instead, grabbing two at once and forcing them back into other ones, tripping others, and finally slamming one determined man into a wall when he didn't back off. In a few moments, despite them attempting to pile on like ants, soon both had the group shaken off, mostly on the floor, and all of them either groaning or looking stunned from pain.

"Alright." Lightning hefted her sword and smirked slightly at the assembly. "Now that you've made introductions, allow _me_ to introduce _us_. I–" She raised the blade; someone groaned. "–am Lightning, Bhunivelze's Liberator. This man back _here_–" She nodded at Caius. "–is responsible for making the world like it is. The short of it is, it's best if none of _you_ do anything to interfere with _us_. Does that make sense?"

Those sprawled out on the floor let out a collective groan in response, while others grunted and still others continued to stare blankly at her.

"Good enough, I guess," she muttered, and sheathed her sword. "I'm looking for someone named Fang."

One of the men on the floor slowly sat up. "What about her?"

Caius fixed his gaze on the man – tallish, so blond his hair was nearly white, with skin tinged very red from time in the sun – as Lightning turned her head slightly to address him directly. "She was a comrade of mine from many years ago. If she's here, I'd like to speak to her. If she's not, point me to her."

The man raised both eyebrows. "After you two just _trashed_ us?"

"You started it," was Caius's flat response.

Lightning snorted softly in obvious amusement. "Look, none of you are _permanently_ injured. You'll be bruised and sore for a few days, probably, but hey, it's good for you."

Someone groaned and fell on their back.

"So? Where's Fang?" she continued after a brief pause.

The blond man who had spoken leaned forward, stopped, brought his legs closer, squeaked quietly, and turned to lean on his hands instead. With a great deal of effort, he finally got to his feet and swayed there for a moment before abruptly stumbling over to a pillar and leaning on it for support. There were a few more moments of panting and under-the-breath grumbling from him; Caius and Lightning exchanged glances. She shrugged one shoulder.

"You got my attention," the man said. "I'm Adonis. Fang's our leader."

Lightning collapsed her shield. "Where is she?"

Adonis raised an eyebrow and attempted to lean casually against the pillar. His expression broke, comically, for a moment as he winced and rubbed his hip. "She's, uh, right back there, actually." He gestured behind him. "If you know who she is, and after _that_ show, I'll take you, no matter what she says about it."

She looked at Caius again. "Great. Let's do it."

Adonis shuffled his way toward a gate at the back of the building while the other well-thrashed bandits, as well as a few who had wisely decided to stay out of the conflict once it sparked, went back to their usual routines. The ones in pain were lead to the infirmary, marked with a large green sign, at the back of the building. As they crossed a large central chamber, Caius sensed the immensity of the structure and realized that many antechambers and atriums were carved into the back and stretched deep into the bedrock. He could not recall such a structure existing anywhere on Gran Pulse and thought it must have been built since this age began.

Adonis unlatched the gate and slid it open. "Go on." He gave Lightning a lopsided smile. "Don't mean to run out on you, but I've gotta get this hip taken care of…"

Lightning shook her head and gave him a pat on the shoulder. "Sorry about that, by the way."

"You made an impression." Adonis shrugged and left.

Lightning turned to face Caius now, placing one hand on her hip. "Fang is high-tempered and probably pretty high-strung by now, after all she's been through. I have no idea how she'll react to you, since I'm pretty sure she knows exactly who you are, so don't say anything or make any sudden moves unless I include you."

"Even if she addresses me directly, Lightning?" He stared at her, a flicker of amusement nearly breaking through, knowing she would get how absurd that request has been.

"Well…" Her features tightened, then relaxed. "That's, uh, that's fine. Just no sudden moves." She slid the gate open, then hesitated and looked back at him. "Sazh was supposed to meet us here. I hope he didn't get lost or…" Pausing, she stared into space a moment, then shook her head. "I can sense Fang's chaos, but I can't tell if Sazh is in there already. He probably didn't just… barge in like we did…"

Caius stepped over the threshold of the gate and peered down the hallway. "Perhaps that was not the best move."

She shrugged. "Eh. Guess we'll find out."


	17. Burdens

_**16 Burdens**_

Halfway down the short hallway, Lightning began to hear soft voices. The hallway was lit in ambient orange light that softened the edges of the small number of furnishings that lined it, while pots of dirt filled with cacti filled the corners when the hall abruptly turned to go deeper into the bedrock behind the building. The second turn brought her to an opening closed off by a sheer sheet of golden fabric draped from the ceiling and split in half. From beyond came the soft, warm glow of torch-lamps on the walls, and as she moved closer and parted the fabric, she saw a pair of familiar-looking shapes sitting in two blood-red chairs.

Oerba Yun Fang looked overall the same, long and lean, her skin more deeply tanned than before, but gone was her familiar blue sari and black top. In its place was a length of orange and gold satin, shining in the light and wrapped around her shoulders and hips before sweeping down behind her nearly to the ground. Preserving her modesty beneath the satin was a dark brown top that covered her to the bottom of her ribs. She had been speaking to Sazh, perched in the chair across from her, but when Lightning entered, she immediately stopped talking, smirked, and rose to her feet, looking down at her as she always had.

"Nice of you to show up," was her greeting as she extended a hand. Lightning took it, giving her a firm handshake, as Sazh stood up and stretched. "It's been a long time, Lightning."

She hesitated, considering this fact. Fang was right – it _had_ been a long time since last they had seen one another in person. _Many_ centuries, in fact, had passed since last they had even spoken. As she gazed at the other woman, she timidly reached out with her senses and found a swirling mass of burdens that made her wince before she could stifle it. Fang bore concern for her friend, Vanille, but something else also made her heart bitter, and she could not determine what it was.

"It's good to know you haven't changed much," she said at last, and managed a small smile in spite of herself.

Fang raised an eyebrow before her gaze drifted. "What's this?"

Lightning felt her chest tighten slightly as she looked over her shoulder at Caius, who looked vaguely uncomfortable now. His eyes briefly darted to hers before returning to Fang, but before he could speak, she moved closer with her hands on her hips and frowned at him.

"Caius Ballad, the greatest of the Guardians. I know about you." Her eyes narrowed further. "You're the one who got the world into this sorry mess, aren't you?"

He only said, "Yes."

"And you did it all because of that girl."

"I had believed my choices to be correct," he said. "I was wrong."

Lightning gazed at him, letting his words sink in, and not saying anything.

"He also helped me discover what'd been keeping me chained down," Sazh broke in. "He's not all bad."

Fang made a thoughtful sound and turned away. "Yeah, well, we'll see."

"What are you doing here, Fang?" she said.

"Hmm? Oh, I'm here looking for an artifact. Spent thirteen years lookin' for it." She plunked herself back down in the chair and propped her chin on one hand. "It's out in some ruins in the desert somewhere, y'see, and after all this time, we _finally_ tracked down where it should be." She raised her eyebrows. "Thing is, the door between us and it is sealed tight, and it won't budge. I'm thinkin' a Liberator can crack it open."

Lightning folded her arms. "Then let's go."

"Not so fast." Fang waved a hand. "The desert's crazy hot in the middle of the day. You go out there and you'll come back a nice, crispy chip, trust me. There's no water for miles and lots of dangerous critters. Believe me, it's much safer to go out after dark."

"Isn't that when _more_ critters come out, though?" Sazh said.

"Not really. The earth eaters don't see too well at night. The things that normally fly around all day roost up. All that's left are sahagin and armored lizards." Crossing one leg over the other, she looked between the three standing before her. "You're free to hang out until then."

Lightning shook her head. "No. Tonight, I have to be at Yusnaan's festival to save Snow. I can't put it off any longer."

Fang groaned. "Yeah, well, we _also_ have to save Vanille."

"And we will," Sazh assured her. "It just has to come one thing at a time. C'mon, now, even _you_ know she's safe in that cathedral, for now." He held out a hand, and Chocolina, who had been quietly perched on his shoulder, flew to his palm and ruffled her feathers before chirping in obvious agreement. Lightning stared at her, marveling at the fact that she was both chocobo and human. "One thing at a time, Fang."

The woman gave a sound of dismay and abruptly stood to pace for a moment before coming back to Lightning. Her expression relaxed. "You look parched, woman."

Lightning tilted her head, thinking she was right. "My stomach _is_ rather empty."

"Perfect." Fang smirked. "If you go straight back out, there's a bar where they serve the best nachos on the whole planet and tequila fit to knock you out." She rolled her eyes heavenward and briefly bared her teeth in a grin. "Tell the bartender I sent ya, and he'll cut your tab in half, or – and you can tell him this – I'll come over there and knock him right out. Now, go on, and I'll be right there."

Sazh yawned. "Y'know, I'm pretty hungry myself. Those grouse didn't hold me over too well. Good old nachos sound pretty good right now, though I'll pass on the tequila." He chuckled. "One time and one hangover back in my younger days was more than enough."

Lightning glanced at Sazh with her eyebrows lifted. Wisdom came with age, she knew, but that also entailed quite a bit of experience gathered along the way. Sazh had always been the gentlest, wisest, most collected member of their group, and his warm and friendly heart had always been open to anyone who wanted to listen or talk. Even now, with a heart of stone and only vestiges of emotion, she felt some part of her wanting to reach out, to the only father figure she could recall having. She hadn't spoken to Sazh much since they had begun their journey long ago, but what little time she had spent speaking to him had been worth it.

She couldn't remember her father well. He had died too long ago, when she had been far too young, and she had no real recollection of his warmth, his strength, or his love.

Nothing except faint memories of a strong voice her mother had adored and a distinct feeling of happiness.

Lightning turned away, trying to distance herself.

That her thoughts had trailed on their own from Sazh's fatherly figure straight into faded memories of her ancient past and the father she barely remembered concerned her. She had not thought about her parents in years. Was time beginning to wear on her, to where she dug up ancient memories and let them flow through her?

"Caius, let's go," she said – too abruptly, she realized, when Caius snapped his gaze to her and looked briefly, faintly startled. She didn't wait for him, striding out of the room, taking deep breaths, trying to push all of those faded memories out of her heart and soul until all that remained was pure purpose. _Clear your mind_, she thought, and exhaled everything that scratched at the back of her mind.

"Are you alright, Lightning?"

Caius's voice sounded deep and strong; she felt a surge of some unfamiliar instinct, but she kept her feet on their current path, with never an unsure step. "Yes, I'm fine," she said, all business, and resisted the urge to dig her nails into her armor, above her physical heart. Was she _actually_ Lightning? The woman she _had_ been felt so strongly that she could set her world on fire, but here _she_ was, going around feeling nothing at all, not even anger at being a slave.

Caius said nothing more, and she sensed him at her elbow, obediently following her without another word.

Lightning felt her teeth grit against her will. "Don't walk on my heel."

He exhaled, and in two strides, he was at her side, still not saying anything. She glanced at him, only to find him looking at her, though his eyes shifted away before too long passed. He walked on her right, allowing her to get a good look at his features and realize that she actually had to crane her neck a bit to look up at him. Hope was short and easy to trust, with warm, soft features that seemed angelic in comparison to Caius's stern, somewhat weathered features with his straight angles and dark colors.

Confusion churned inside of her. This man was _still_ dangerous, with an appearance befitting a man who had killed the world for selfish reasons – a man in black, tall, stout, stoic – and yet some sort of feeling scratched lightly at the back of her mind, something familiar, that she could not – was unable to – place at all.

"Is there something I can help you with, Liberator?"

Lightning blinked. "N… no, sorry."

Now his gaze returned to hers; she looked away, and so did he.

The bar was a warmly-lit place at the other end of the structure, open to the sands outside but heavily shaded, with a pair of ceiling fans dutifully keeping the airflow going. Several inquisitive gazes rose when she walked in, but most of them returned to whatever they were up to before. The din, which had been a comfortable volume, suddenly died off, though, even when she took a seat on a barstool. Sazh groaned and sat down heavily to her left.

Under everyone's heavy stares, Lightning felt a warrior's instinct tingle in her blood. "What?" she muttered.

Someone grumbled in response, and slowly the din resumed.

Sazh ordered a tall glass of ice-cold water and sipped it despite the look on his face that screamed how much he wanted to down it all in one gulp. Lightning told the bartender, a tall, heavily tanned and weathered sort, that Fang had sent them and was met with a mildly disapproving stare. He said nothing, though, and took her order without a word of backtalk or complaint.

"Tastes like minerals," Sazh said. "This stuff is good."

Lightning looked over her shoulder as one table in particular became rather noisy. It seemed they were engaged in some sort of drinking game that involved shots of clear liquid, and each time one went down, some of the onlookers cheered. Lightning watched them for a moment before returning to the cold glass of water before her, then realized that Caius had moved away to take up residence in a corner. She wondered why he kept gravitating to the shadows.

The bartender set a plate of nachos heavy with chunks of meat in sauce, bright vegetables, cheese, and spices before Sazh and a plate of cold fruit and strips of sahagin jerky before her. She ate in silence, listening to the table getting rowdier and louder behind her.

"These guys don't know what's waitin'," Sazh muttered, and took another bite. He spoke around it as he continued, "I did three shots and no more, a long time ago. Man, was that a hangover."

Lightning looked at him. "You need to tell us about those days."

"Nah." He shook his head. "They're not worth remembering. I like living for the future, not the past."

Frowning for a moment, she went back to her food, but this time she picked at it a little. _Living for the future, not the past_. How many years had she spent wrapped up in the past, chained down and unable to move forward? When this was all over, would she finally be able to shed the burdens she had dragged around for so long?

"Thello har."

She stopped with the fork halfway in her mouth, frowned, pulled the fork out, and turned toward the voice. A pale boy, scrawny, with a mop of dark hair, wearing well-worn traveler's clothes, looked at her from beneath goggles fastened with jewel-tone lenses and a leather strap. "Um…" She blinked. "…hi?"

The boy narrowed his eyes. "Shure in sy meet, stoman wupid."

Lightning tilted her head before switching the vox on her headset. "Hope, tell me you're hearing this," she muttered as the boy said something else in that strange language.

"Yeah." The boy sounded quizzical. "It's… some sort of code, I think."

The boy whistled. "_Shure in sy meet_, stoman wupid."

And suddenly it made sense. "Listen, kid, you backtalk me and I'll slap that snide look off your face. You might _look_ like a boy, but I _know_ you're not one anymore." Switching off the vox again, she turned in her seat to face him, placing both hands on her thighs. "You've got a problem with me being in your seat?"

He groaned. "You're a jerk. That's _my_ usual seat."

"You're a little young to be _here_."

"Whatever. We're immortal now. Not like _anyone's_ young anymore." He climbed up on the barstool beside her and folded his arms on the counter, then looked sidelong at her. As the silence stretched out, she felt him out and found a small burden of chaos coated in bitterness inside him. "So, uh, you're new. You're the gal that bashed your would-be attackers. So, what brings you to the butt end of nowhere?"

Lightning made a point of chewing, swallowing, and dabbing her lips before saying, "Searching for Fang."

"Oh, yeah, Fang." The boy raised an eyebrow. "Know her?"

"Yes." She hesitated while the bartender set a glass of blue juice in front of the boy, who picked it up with a look of disgust. Judging by his expression, it was _not_ what he had asked for. "So, tell me, who are you, and what's your story? Why are _you_ out here in the middle of the desert?"

"You mean 'still'." He gave the blue juice a glare, then tipped it back and drained it halfway.

She gave him ten full seconds. "Well?"

"Same reason anyone's out here: looking for something, or waiting for a way to leave." He wished the juice around and stared at the back wall. "Came out here with someone, lost 'em, hung around a while, and never got around to leaving the place. Still looking for–" He made a strangled sound and swallowed the rest of the juice. Lightning cleaned off her plate and folded her arms on the counter.

"Well?" she prompted.

He groaned. "I lost something in the desert, somewhere near Atomos's carcass. Never got around to going back out there to get it. Maybe I don't want to. Maybe I do. Doesn't matter." When she continued to stare at him, he met her eyes directly and raised one eyebrow. "Fine. A loupe. Don't try to find it. Not worth it."

"What makes you think I would?"

"You got that look, like all the folks that wanna make things right for everyone."

Lightning got the distinct impression that she wasn't looking at a boy, but a very old, pessimistic man trapped in the guise of a young teen. Though he turned back to his drink and ignored her, she realized that, despite his assurance that this "loupe" didn't matter, it _was_ keeping him here. Perhaps he was right – no one in this world was young any longer, the years having worn away innocence and brought experience without age.

_Caius did this_, a voice said, but this time, she forced it to shut up.

Sazh stayed in his seat, only giving her a glance when she slid off the barstool, paying their tab to the bartender, and moved over to where Caius sat – or had been sitting, at least until he had apparently managed to move over by the entrance to the desert without her being aware of it. Resisting the urge to roll her eyes, she threaded her way past the increasingly rowdy table ringed with onlookers to come up beside him.

He was leaned against the wall, arms loosely folded, and did not look at her.

For a few moments, she let the silence sit between them. The desert air felt hot and dry, oddly refreshing after all the cold things she had consumed, and she watched a large green lizard with a pale green back creep across a rock near the water and stretch out, obviously sunning itself.

"I thought you said you wouldn't go wandering off," she muttered.

He leaned on his left shoulder, so his hair hid his features from her entirely. "I said nothing of the sort."

She sighed and flexed her fingers. "So why'd you walk off?"

There was silence for a time – hesitation, she guessed. "A table away from me sat three men. One of them spoke of how he had lost his family here in the desert to monsters animated by chaos. Therefore, I am responsible for that man being here, and responsible for his family's death."

_So you didn't want to listen to it_, she nearly said. "Yes. You're responsible for all of this. I thought you knew that."

"I do not enjoy being reminded," was his tart response.

Lightning stared at him, once more trying to reconcile what had been with what she knew with what he still hid from her. His burdens still surged and churned, though he restrained them within his heart. She couldn't pry it open – that was beyond her power – so they had to be coaxed out… but that was the path she took when trying to _save_ someone from the chaos, and he had explicitly told her not to try that.

"Alright." She sighed. "Fine. Only a few people know you did this to begin with–"

"Unless you _tell_ them," he said, and now he looked at her.

For a moment, the words died on her tongue. In the shadows, his eyes looked darker and more intense than ever, but this time, she thought she… _saw_ something. "I'm sorry," she murmured, then cleared her throat and straightened up a little. "I won't do that anymore. I don't know what I was thinking."

His eyes stayed intense, but seemed to soften. "I will bear their accusations, but I will not facilitate them."

She groaned and shook her head. "You're impossible."

He nodded. "So I have been told."

She stared at him for a moment. He was so close, but she felt no fear, only anxiety forged from untold centuries of war. Did he feel the same way? Did he ever think that she would try to begin their battle anew? "Well, I've been told that, too – by Serah, no less." She shook her head again. "I deserved it, too. I _know_ I deserved it." She turned away, shaking her head. _Save some people, you'll feel better_, her mind told her. There was no reason to dig up forgotten memories, not when the future would be so bright.

Again, the silence fell, and she forced herself to turn back around.

Caius turned to lean his back against the wall now, letting his arms fall from their folded position, and his gaze shifted to her. She met it, consciously trying _not_ to puzzle out what she saw there.

"Do you know how far it is to Atomos from here?"

He snorted and looked dour. "Lightning–" Just as quickly, he cut himself off, relaxed his features, and looked at her. "Indeed," he said, his voice impassive once more. "It is two miles from here. Atomos rests upon the rock formation the chaos had felled him on. Why is it that you ask?"

"There's some time before we must be in Yusnaan," she murmured, "and instead of standing around, I want to do as much as I can to help those here."

He pushed himself away from the wall and nodded. "Whatever you wish."

For a moment, she hesitated, staring at him. Caius had fought her quite violently in the past, done his best to _kill_ her just to get to Etro, insulted her and incited her with mocking laughter and unkind words that had cut into her heart and made her scream and hurt as though they were daggers. She never should have accepted Lumina's proposal, but it was too late to turn him away now.

"You're not even gonna try to stop me?" she said, feeling one eyebrow go up on its own.

"You tend to make up your mind and stay with it."

Not sure how to respond, she only turned away, sensing him move up beside her. The memories could cripple her, if she let them, but she could overcome them. She was strong. She needed no one to help her, no one to help her fight back the bitter memories and feelings of hurt she had too long carried inside her soul. Even Caius's great power was nothing more than a means to an end.

"There's something in the sand there that belongs to someone here," she said. "You're going to help me find it."

* * *

Sazh was shortly joined by the tanned, black-haired woman with a faded tattoo on her shoulder as he still sat at the bar, picking at what remained of his food. It had been a filling enough meal, especially when chased by a good cup of coffee, but though he was full, he did not feel satisfied. Lightning and Caius still talked near the entrance of the bar, backlit by the sunlit sands, and he wondered what about. Caius had been responsible for unleashing the chaos, and yet Lightning was obviously working with him in a professional, if not amicable, relationship.

He looked at Fang when she said nothing. "What's up?"

She shook her head. "I'm just… thinking." She frowned slightly. "Did Vanille seem alright when you saw her?"

"She was fine, if a little stressed." Sazh tilted his head. "You can always visit."

"There's too many things I've gotta do here."

"Like whatever's in the ruins?"

Fang nodded before looking at the countertop again. The silence sat between them a moment; Sazh raised a glass of iced water and took a sip, all the time keeping his eyes on the woman beside him. Long ago, Fang had found him alone in the Font of Namva, home of the Steppe's chocobos, and tried to take upon herself the blame for Dajh's transformation to crystal. He sensed a similar burden now, he realized, as though Fang were blaming herself for something that had happened – or was about to happen.

But what could he do? What he had at his disposal wasn't much – single father, widower, pilot, and soldier whose training had consisted of being run over a few dozen times by bulldozers shaped like impending doom. Fang had also been through a significant amount of difficulty in her life. What did he have that she didn't?

And then he realized – experience.

"Hey," he said, and nudged her with his elbow. "Fang? Look at me, please?"

They had spoken for several minutes before Lightning's arrival, long enough to determine the state of Fang's current life – that she and Vanille had awoken thirteen years ago, that Vanille had inexplicably awoken with the ability to hear and speak to those trapped in the chaos, that Fang had abruptly left to pursue a lead in the desert, and neither had seen nor spoken to the other since then. She had expressed trust in him by speaking so freely, and he hoped that she would continue to exhibit that trait now.

Her vivid green eyes, outlined with thick black eyelashes, turned to him. "What?"

He hesitated at the whip-crack-sharp tone of her voice. Something was terribly wrong, and she meant business – strictly business. "Fang, listen to me. Whatever's going on, it's not impossible to overcome. I didn't get this far because I gave up on the rough patches, y'know. Sometimes, you just gotta keep moving."

"_Moving_?" Her palm sharply collided with the counter, startling the nearby patrons into silence for a moment before they slowly resumed conversation. "You don't _get_ it. Look, if I don't find what I'm lookin' for here in time for the end of the world, bad things are gonna happen, you got it?"

Sazh took a deep, steadying breath. "Yep," he murmured, "and if we hadn't run into a miracle on Cocoon's final day, every one of us would've become Cie'th."

Fang's eyes flashed, but then her gaze fell away from his. The hand on the countertop curled. "I just…"

He leaned closer and laid a hand on her shoulder. "What're you looking for, Fang?"

She didn't look at him. "It's important." Her voice was small.

Sazh sighed and gently rubbed the back of her shoulder. "You keep saying that, you know. The thing is, why can't you tell me what it is, if it's so important? C'mon," he coaxed when her head bowed and turned away. "Whatever it is, you know you can trust old Sazh with it."

Her shoulders hunched. "My burdens are mine to bear. No one else can help me with them."

"That's not true, or did you forget that?"

"It's…" Fang shook her head, but some of the brusqueness had vanished. Then, she raised her head and rose from her seat, giving a quick tug on his sleeve. "It's not something I can really talk about here," she said as she leaned in and spoke in a near-whisper. "Follow me, and keep quiet."

Sazh left a tip near his plate and stood to follow her. He gave one glance out to Caius and Lightning, but they had vanished. Following on Fang's heels, looking all over, glancing at the layers of orange silk that cascaded across her shoulders and down one arm, shining gold in the torchlight, he saw that life had gone back to normal, with a regular flow of people out of the infirmary and idle chatter kept up in the cool shade.

Fang led him back to her chambers and closed the curtain, dragging him in when he didn't move fast enough.

"Why can't you talk about it?" he demanded. "They know, right?"

"No." She turned, suddenly anxious, and faced him with her hands on her hips. "They know I left someone behind in Luxerion, but not who it was. They also know I'm looking for some artifact here, but not what."

"You obviously wanna talk. So tell _me_."

She scoffed and shook her head. "Personal burdens."

"You say that, but you dragged me back in here, _obviously_ to talk." He softened his voice and extended hand, palm up, to her, fingers splayed. "Now, come on, tell me. You can trust old Sazh, you know that."

She bowed her head. "It's called the 'clavis'."

Sazh blinked. "That sounds like a name the Order would give it."

"It is." Her shoulders lost some of their squareness, but she didn't look up. "I don't know what it was called before, but it's apparently an artifact fashioned ages ago, before Cocoon had even been built." She took a deep breath and raised her head, hands falling from her hips. A deep silence fell over the two of them; Sazh felt as though something were about to happen, and his pulse began to quicken. "I found a mural, written in the oldest dialect of Gran Pulse, which spoke of the clavis being constructed by fal'Cie on order of Pulse in the epoch before Cocoon's construction. I can't reach much, only bits that look similar to the language my people wrote in back when I was still living in the old world." She began to speak more quickly now, excitedly. "Bhunivelze had something to do with the creation of the clavis, that much we know."

Sazh felt himself slowly sinking into a chair. It was hard to think of a time before Cocoon's creation, but what Fang said intrigued him – that Gran Pulse had been the land from which Cocoon had been built, preferably to be a human sacrifice in the future, and there had been an age, an _epoch_ even, before its construction. What had life been like then? Had humans existed yet? Had the sky looked as it did now?

"So," he murmured, "there's more truth to be found about the ancient world, but nobody told us?"

"Played for fools," she growled. "Just like we once worshipped a fal'Cie."

"It's not like you knew better. We didn't, either."

"That makes it _worse_ somehow." Turning, she lightly kicked a table leg, making it squeak. "That's not the half of it, though. I have an idea what the clavis _does_. Y'see–" When her gaze met his, her eyes were determined, but hollow. "The person using it must be able to see into the chaos, and clearly, and whoever uses it will be executed real soon after the clavis finishes its job, whatever that exact purpose might be."

A pregnant silence fell over the room; his hands gripped the chair.

"That's right. Vanille's gonna die."

A thousand scenarios blew through his mind. Dajh could have died too easily because of Fang's foolishness, as well as his own, but had been sentenced to a fate worse than death. He may as well have been dead when he turned into a silent crystal statue. He could be dead _now_. But he was not about to let that happen again.

"She could _die_?" Sazh gripped the chair harder. "Does she know that?"

"Yeah, she knows. She knows."

He shook his head, trying to clear it. "When?" he said, trying to stay calm.

"On the final day. She'll perform a final rite to 'purify' the people in the chaos, and then…" Jerking a finger across her throat, she gritted her teeth and clucked her tongue. "The resulting energy will kill her. It _will_ kill her. And there will be _no_ way to revive her – a complete severance of the soul from the body. Dark magic."

He climbed to his feet. "How are you so calm?"

"It took thirteen years to get this calm," she admitted, waving a hand. "All this time, I knew about the whole 'killing her' thing, but she knows too and doesn't care. It's _supposed_ to send them off to peace, they told her, but what's the point if it _kills_ her?" Wild mass of hair shaking about her shoulders, she began to pace in a small circle, and he got the impression she was merely trying to occupy her mind and her feet, else she'd go mad. "There's got be another way, but I can't stop her. I've _tried_. Right now, I can't leave. Gotta stay so Ruffian – this place – doesn't go all nuts before the world does. What I'm hoping is Lightning'll do it, but…"

"I'll help," he assured her, firmly, and walked toward her, extending a hand to her shoulder. When she looked at the floor and frowned, he cleared his throat, drawing her gaze again. "You stay and keep order. We'll bring Vanille to you, together. We'll find a way to get her out of there, okay?"

Fang laughed, but it sounded strained. "Good _luck_! The Order guards her like a seeress. You wanna get her out, you might need to break some bones, and that kind of runs counter to what Lightning's here for." Her eyes became like fire despite her laughing mouth, and soon the sound died away. "Sazh, I get what you're saying, but it wouldn't be easy to get her out. You might have to force her."

He shook his head. "Nobody's gonna force her. Vanille will do the right thing, as long as she knows what it is. We won't have to force her, Fang, I promise you that."

"Then, tell Lightning, and get over there as soon as you can. I started this whole mess. She can't die because of it."

Sazh stared at her, mouth going slack, and said, "_You_ started it?"

She shook her head. "Doesn't matter. Can you do it?"

He forced himself to keep his mind straight. The world wasn't ending yet, and he wasn't about to give up on Dajh, or this young woman he had seen bearing a heavy burden, all alone. Fang was not the only one who did not want to see her die, and he knew he was also not the only other. He could also recall Hope, young and unsure, drifting to and comforting Vanille when she worried about Oerba and their future. No, Vanille had to live, and he would personally make sure she made it out of there very much alive.

Chocolina fluffed out her feathers and made a soft chirping sound.

"I'll do it," he said, and nodded. "Between her and Dajh, I've got plenty of motivation. Now, don't you worry, Fang. Leave it to us. We'll bring her back. Alive."

Fang shook her head, but he could see she had accepted his assurances. As long as she knew she could stay here, maintain her focus on taking care of the little town she'd found herself in, he knew she could keep her own head on straight. Giving her a warm smile, he squeezed her shoulder, then waited until she looked at him and nodded back. Only then did he move away, aware of how silent she was at his back, and continued with a purposeful step. Now, he only needed to find Caius and Lightning, and then they could all go after Vanille together.

He searched for nearly half an hour, asking where the two had gone, but soon he found that they had gone out into the desert and would not be back for a time. Not that it mattered. For once, time _was_ on their side, mercifully giving them a few more days before Vanille would be executed.

So Sazh spent his time wandering all over the mysterious structure in the desert, listening to a hundred tales, waiting for the Liberator and Destroyer to return.

* * *

Magnificent Atomos stood black against the afternoon sky, his shell cracked and bleached from centuries spent in the sun. He had died long ago, Caius could see, plowing his way through the earth until it could bear him no more, and found his final resting place beneath a sun he had barely known. Atomos had been busy, but quiet, one of those who could think no better than an intelligent animal. Caius had sometimes followed his labyrinth for miles at a time and listened to him burrow through rock as though it were no harder than packed sand.

To see the mighty fal'Cie lying out in the sun to decay, awaiting the world's end, brought an unexpected prick of sadness to his heart. The time of the fal'Cie had come to an end. Not all of them had been bad. Many had been benevolent at best, simple workers like this one at worst, and not one had deserved this fate… or perhaps it was best for them, as soulless beings born from the earth.

As his rose-haired companion searched in the sand for something she called a "loupe", he found himself staring up at Atomos with a twinge of bitterness alongside the sadness. He had known many fal'Cie through the years, some of them long enough for there to be an unspoken camaraderie – colossal Titan, humble Atomos, mighty Jormungandr, graceful Bismarck. He had known them by name. Either the chaos had destroyed them, corrupted them, or simply twisted their habitat to the point where they could no longer function, as Atomos had found, and eventually had nowhere else to go but into silence.

Atomos perched atop a rock formation, too high to reach, but Caius still gazed up at him, laying a hand on the rock, feeling his expression sour. He had done what he had once believed to be the right thing by allowing the chaos to flow free, releasing Yeul from her endless cycle, but the consequences stretched further than he had seen even when peering through the chaos at hazy images of the "new" world. Even the fal'Cie had been silenced or twisted. What a magnificent fool he had been.

His hand smoothed across the porous rock a moment, sensing echoes of the passage of time in the rock as ripples in the chaos. Mankind had stopped aging, but time had marched on, somehow. He had accomplished nothing at all.

He glanced at Lightning. She was crouched and digging vigorously in the sand.

Leaning his head against the rock, he closed his eyes.

Every Yeul had been different, no matter what era she came from or how long she lived. All of them had even made a point of making their appearance unique, so now he picked them out easily. Most of them had faced their eventual demise with smiles. Some had been solemn. A few had been heartbroken. Two shattered once they understood the full truth, growing angrier as their time approached. One of them had been among the last he had protected, who had only lived to be thirteen. The other had been much longer ago; she lived to be seventeen. Growing up after the War of Transgression, she had really only known him, with there being so few left in the world. She had grown quite attached, and to her dying breath, she had despised her fate.

All of that had caused him to determine the fate of the world, deciding that it would be best if _no one_ could ever die, but it had spiraled out of his control, and now–

Caius found his gaze drifting back to Lightning, who had unearthed something and was now working at shaking the dirt off it. He wanted to tell her, wanted to trust her with all that had driven him to his madness. He wanted to tell _someone_ about the vise squeezing his heart, the words he kept locked under steel walls, and the truth sealed behind his lips. If he did that, though, he knew she might get to _know_ him. That simply couldn't happen.

But, he knew, in his heart, that he wanted her to. Under the guilt, the stubbornness, the shame, he wanted someone to know him and to hear him screaming in his soul.

But this woman had _known_ him as a dangerous warrior in Valhalla. She wouldn't want to _know_ _him_, anyway.

"Did you find it?" he said, moving closer to her.

Lightning lifted up a small silver object and held it up to the sun. It glistened dully. "Looks like it. Hope, does this look like a loupe to you, or do I need to keep looking?" She was silent for a brief time; Caius closed the distance a bit more, to within several feet, before stopping again. With nothing between him and the sun, he felt hot beneath his armor, though it vented enough of the warmth to keep him from getting overheated. "Alright, good. I'll head back to the town – what was it called? Ruffian, that's right. Thanks."

Instead of immediately marching off, though, she remained crouched, instead looking up at him with a quizzical expression in her sky-blue eyes. He gazed back, and for a few moments there was silence but for the hot, dry breeze blowing past. She raised a hand, tucked her hair back, and lowered it, in one, smooth motion.

"Did you know that fal'Cie very well?"

Briefly surprised at the words she spoke, he raised an eyebrow. "I have spoken to him, though he did not speak back. I have listened to him burrow into the rock, echoing, miles away. Quite an eerie sound." The eyebrow came back down. "Why do you ask, Lightning?"

"The way you were looking at him. It was like you were looking at the corpse of a very dear friend."

The vise tightened. "Atomos is a remnant of a dead world."

Lightning's face was cold. While he had expressed a belief that she was not _as_ cold and distant as she believed, she was still distant, and it was an obvious struggle for her to pull out any echo of emotion at all. Yet, he saw her eyes soften and her expression briefly tighten before she looked away, at the horizon. Rising to her feet with the rustle of fabric and creak of faux leather, she tucked the loupe into her utility pack.

"We should get back," she murmured, still looking at the horizon.

Caius looked up at the sky, checking the time by the position of the sun in its vastness. She could teleport, but it was a bit of a strain. She had plenty of time, but wished to use it as wisely as she could. "It seems the press of time adds a layer of unnecessary stress," he said. Her eyes came back to his. "If you allow me the opportunity, perhaps I can find a quicker way behind the Augur's Quarter gates, one that will not attract attention."

She stared at him. "You… you want to try?"

He dipped his chin. "Yes, Lightning. I would like to try." Tipping his head to the side, he let the smallest curve come to his lips, just an echo of a smirk. _Tell me you remember_, he wanted to say. Surely she remembered the innumerable smirks he had given her. "You will be fine on your own."

For a moment, she seemed to hesitate, and he wondered if it would be best not to leave just yet. But then, when she spoke, he heard familiar strength. "Alright." She nodded. "I'll take this to the boy, and then I'll wait for word from you. Please, let me know if you find something – or, if you don't."

"Will you be in Ruffian?"

"I'll try to stay in its vicinity, yes. If you're gone longer than two hours, though…" Raising both eyebrows, she tilted her head slightly and pursed her lips.

"I understand." She would continue with the original plan. "You will be well traveling from here?"

"I don't need to be protected all the time."

He carefully ignored the bite in her tone and nodded instead. "I will go to Yusnaan, then, and will return as soon as I can manage." When she looked at him, then turned and began walking back in the direction of Ruffian, he knew the matter was done. He paused, checking ahead to be sure there were no chaos plumes in her path, and pointed himself toward the glistening city of Yusnaan. Taking a breath, he took a step. In that same single movement, he allowed himself to phase out, using the chaos to direct his steps.

His step landed on the polished rock of Yusnaan's plaza, outside the gates of the Augur's Quarter.

The sun had begun to drift into the lower section of the sky, turning the light a burnished gold color. There were very few people out. The air was still and silent. Caius went no further for a moment, carefully examining the path ahead and his surroundings. The key was going to be getting behind those gates without the aid of teleportation, and the only other method he saw was through those very gates. Aside from getting a pass from someone – probably for a ridiculous price, too – he saw no immediate method of getting in. Just on the other side of the gates, two guards flanked them, dressed in the garb of the palace, not looking at him.

He moved forward, up to the gates, and peered through them, avoiding the aura of electricity that hummed around the bars. He could not immediately see another entrance.

With a grunt, he moved to the side, toward a shaded corner, and moved beyond the wall into a niche formed by a stone alleyway, heavily shadowed. The only way of getting in there was from inside the gated community, but there did happen to be a door just to his right, so he tried it, found it unlocked, and closed it with a _snap_. Only then did he move out into the courtyard, in full view of the guards.

Though they did not move, he knew they watched. Pretending not to see them, he moved on, and they stayed put.

Once he had gone about a hundred steps, he slowed, and stopped.

There was a breeze, tangy with the scent of the ocean and its shore, stirring the fronds of palms above his head. The sun had thoroughly baked the ground, and the air smelled of hot rock, pleasant and earthy. A delicious smell, like someone baking a fruit pie, wafted on the breeze and drifted right past him. Besides the hissing of the fronds, though, everything was silent, but in a way that relaxed him.

Caius stretched out his arms, palms up, and tilted his head back to face the sky, eyes closing, breathing in the scent of his surroundings in a long, deep breath.

Though the scent of chaos clung to everything, it did not fill his nostrils and burn his lungs and bring the bitterness of decay with it. The silence was a warm, sleepy one, nothing like the cold silence of the temple. No one stood at his back, whispering words of love or despair into his ear. For the first time in centuries – since before Valhalla, even – Caius Ballad was truly _alone_, with only himself as company. And the very sensation of it exhilarated him in a manner he realized he no longer knew as he used to.

_Alone_, his lips echoed, forming the words, though he said nothing. When the world ended, this sort of peace would be alien to him, something he could never know again. He relished it – the feeling of freedom, and _life_, that he did not realize he sorely missed in the ache of his bones and soul.

Unexpectedly, his throat tightened up; he lowered his hands and face and stared instead at the ground.

_You did this to yourself, you fool_, something whispered.

Resisting the urge to kick the pebbles at his feet, he picked his head back up and began to walk, examining his environment, searching. The houses were lined up with delicate square yards full of grass and flowers, some of them with palm trees heavy with feathery fronds. Each one was the color of sandstone, with brown roofs that deflected the heat of the sun. Down the avenue of porous limestone, he spotted a statue with multiple wings that stared down at its surroundings with an apathetic stare. Beyond it, the domed roofs of the palace towered over all of it, and another set of gates barred entrance to it, black and heavy.

As he made his way closer, still searching, he turned his head to see a small girl sitting on a wooden bench in the shade, twirling a length of pink hair around her finger. When he looked at her, she smirked back at him, blue eyes wide and bright with mischief. He turned away again, knowing it was too late.

Soon, the _clop-clop_ of her steps came close to him. "Well, hello, you," she said, cheerily – _too_ cheerily. "You're out here without Lightning? Huh. Why's that?"

"This does not concern you, Lumina," he said to her, and kept up his brisk pace.

Lumina hummed and skipped along beside him. "Trying to find a way into Snow's palace, are we? Besides the black-market way, I guess. Well, you'll probably want to know there aren't any easy ways in." With a giggle, she darted in front of him, forcing him to stop in his tracks. Clasping her hands behind her back and bowing slightly at the waist, she raised both eyebrows. "Whatever you do is just gonna keep her task difficult."

Caius barely maintained an expression of calm as he moved around her and kept going.

Lumina giggled again. "Why help her, huh? Didn't you try to kill her?"

"Valhalla was a different circumstance," he said.

"Maybe, but your past is all stained when it comes to her. You tried to kill her plenty of times, and then you ended up destroying her world and getting her sister killed. Everyone here is suffering because of you." He heard her kick a pebble and the rock go rolling across the ground. "Don't you care?"

Not letting anything come to his face and not bothering to give her the satisfaction of responding, he kept walking without even a glance back at her. She sighed loudly, and he heard her take a couple of skipping steps, but soon she slowed and eventually stopped altogether.

"Whatever. You know the truth, and so do I, Caius Ballad."

Though her words had voiced what he knew in his heart, he still did not react. Lumina vanished behind him with a hiss of chaos. Helping Lightning save those he had hurt was more important than his thoughts right now, thinking of how this freedom would be stolen away was a betrayal to Yeul, and all that ultimately mattered was that Lightning succeeded and Yeul was safe. He could worry about the other issues later.


	18. Pulse

_**17 Pulse**_

In the heart of the Augur's Quarter was a circular plaza that functioned as a small shopping district for those who could make their way into the gated community. In the center, the statue towered above it all, golden against the cloudless sky. Its shadow stretched to his left as an inky black stain. Just ahead of him stood a small stage made of wood and trussed up in unlit lights. Various people worked on the stage, scaffolding climbing up the statue, and meandered about the area, all deep in thought or conversation. About fifteen feet in the air was a balcony, also covered in unlit lights, and a man dressed in black and white leaned on the railing, staring down at the activity, but he didn't really seem to see any of it, merely staring instead.

Caius looked away from him after a moment and looked around. Several palace guards flanked the gates leading to the palace courtyard, both inside its wall and out, and a large armored lizard waited alongside them, its head lying on the ground, armor plates rising and falling with its breathing. There were not many other people out, but what few there were either sat and talked or wandered around the shops.

Moving deeper into the district, aware of the passage of time, he looked for any other entrance, but there were none that he could see, even at the ends of the alleyways.

The Augur's Quarter was a fortress.

Refusing to give up, he took up a casual pace and circled instead. The balcony wrapped around the entire plaza and gave him shade as he walked. For a time, all he saw was the constant comings-and-goings of the community's inhabitants, watching craftsmen work on the stage and string up more lights, gussy up the statue, and then spend a few minutes pointing and talking amongst themselves. For the most part, he avoided them, keeping a casual air, but knew he could make, at most, one circle before people would start to notice.

About three-quarters of the way along, he leaned against one of the pillars supporting the balcony and did his best to look inconspicuous. Not that it was easy, though, being that he was noticeably taller than most everyone in the plaza and had a… distinct palette.

"Still trying to find a way to help, huh?"

It was a testament to self-control, the way he managed to keep his expression from going dour. "Is there a purpose to your machinations, or are you simply here because you have nothing else to do?"

The girl leaned against the pillar and gazed steadily at him. He pretended not to notice. "I'd say it's both."

He occupied himself with examining the statue. It wasn't very interesting.

"Why don't you give up? Lightning has a ticket."

Her voice grated on his nerves; he began to count the number of lights on each string wrapped around the statue – not easy, with it being halfway across the plaza and all, but he managed.

"Give up and give in. It's what you're best at."

A muscle ached for a moment as he felt his jaw clench.

A long, thick silence, heavy like wet wool, stretched between them as he pointedly continued ignoring her. After a while of this, the girl groaned and shifted around a bit before saying, "Alright. Obviously you're not giving in this time. That's pretty amazing. Proud of yourself?" When he still did not respond, she added, "You used to lose your temper _a lot_, you know. The things that happened when you did…" She clucked her tongue.

Finally, he said, "If you will be little more than a nuisance, then you may leave."

There was a pause. "What's the matter, too close to home?"

"No," he said. "You are wasting your breath. I will not leave until I find a better way for Lightning to get in." He took up his walk once more.

"Whoa, hold up." Suddenly, she was in front of him, one finger on his chest, eyebrows raised as she gazed up at him. There was no way for a girl her size to stop him, but he did anyway. In the odd sun angle, she looked sweet yet mischievous, her eyes hooded in shadow and cheekbones lit with yellow-orange light. "I _might_ have something."

He glanced to his right, then looked at her. "Is that so?"

The girl's mischievousness seemed to lessen, her eyes softening slightly, her mouth parting. "You really do want to help her," she murmured, and for a moment she just stared at him, but when the moment passed, it was as though it never occurred at all as her lips curved into a smirk. "Why waste your time floundering around here? You're stupid powerful. Just tear a hole in the palace wall, and you're done. The two of you can easily carve your way to Snow and give him the beating he has longed for since the world fell apart."

For a moment, he considered her words. Indeed, it _would_ be easier just to force a way in. Lightning might be limited in what she could do due to a number of factors, but _he_ was not bound by such laws. Yeul would keep him alive no matter what he did, and he would be quite capable of keeping her safe.

And then he remembered her refusal to force her way into the cathedral, despite her awareness of how powerful both of them were. She had a reason for wanting to take the slow way in.

"Lightning would not want that," was his cool, firm response, "and I will honor her wishes."

Lumina blinked. "Huh, really. Yeul wouldn't have wanted you to destroy the world, but you didn't honor _her_ wishes. Lightning never once _said_ she _never_ wanted to cause a ruckus. That just applied to that _one_ time, but here you are. Are you _sure_ that's what she'd want?"

Doubt touched his mind, but still he said, "I am certain."

Lumina clasped her hands behind her back. "Well, alright. I can give you _some_ pointers."

"Then speak, Lumina," he said. "You are wasting time."

The girl's eyebrows went up and came back down after a second. Hopping up on a bench, she shielded her eyes from the sun and pointed. "Way over there. Scalpers. They sell passes at ridiculous prices." Following the line of her arm, he saw a pair of people in the shade. "Over there, we've got the workers–" She changed direction; he looked to see the workers at the stage, pounding away at the wood. "–who _might_ be nice, or they could report you. It's kind of risky. Most of them are looking for a nice reward for – get this – 'intention to trespass'." She flashed him a grin. "Last one is that ticket she's packin'. Make your choice, Ballad."

He glanced around again before returning his gaze to her. "Why does Snow desire to fight?"

"Don't you know?" She blinked at him. "Because he lost Serah, his only reason to live or be a good person. Without her, he pretty much can't function, and he just wants to see her again." A cold feeling settled over him as her eyes seemed to glitter. "Even if it means in death, _without_ salvation."

It took all the willpower he had remaining to not react with more than a knitting of the brow to her words, but on the inside, his heart churned. He knew, instinctively, that if he were to confront Snow, even with Lightning, it would not end well. He could help her get into the palace, but he could not take part in the battle that would be sure to follow. It was his sin to bear, but not his war to fight. Not anymore. The time to fight the war ended the moment he had given in to his foolishness and lost, all those centuries ago.

"Speaking of wasting time," she muttered, "quit standing there like an idiot."

Caius forced himself to look away, switching off the guilt that threatened to consume him. Holding it down, keeping it silent, took effort, but he managed. When she vanished in a whisper of chaos, he mulled over his various options, trying to determine which was best. He had no money for scalpers, and he did not want to trouble Lightning with that option, either. If he spoke to one of the workers, he could very well get his face plastered alongside hers on the wanted posters that littered the city. And if they waited, she would waste time.

It was then that someone started banging a hammer rather loudly on the wood on the corner of the stage and he came to his senses in curiosity.

"No! No, no, stop! _Stop_!" One of the workers, blond and tanned, waved his arms, and the man hammering on the stage looked at him… and kept hammering. "Stop means _stop_! Stop that! It's not right!"

The hammerer stopped mid-swing. "What's not right?"

"That whole corner is lopsided, you _idiot_! Look!" Grabbing the worker's arm, he pulled him back a few feet, though the second one didn't let go of his hammer or look the least bit concerned. Rather, he looked bored. Caius got the impression that this had happened before. Many times. "It's off! Look at it, it's _off_!"

The hammerer blinked. "Huh. Is it?"

"You're dumber than a _bag of rocks_ if you can't see that!"

"Hey! You! The blond one! Shut up!" This came from the man hanging over the balcony above, who continued shouting about the blond man's uselessness as he came down the stairs. "Every one of you is a cog in this grand wheel, and _every one of you_ is expected to do your job and _just_ your job!" The man wasn't very tall, but he wore a black-and-white striped suit with a ridiculous matching top hat that made him impossible to miss, not to mention he spoke with a sort of zest that dripped with annoyance. Caius thought he could probably hear him shouting from a good few blocks away. "It is _my_ job to keep things straight around here… in _every_ way." He grabbed the blond by the shoulder and the hammerer by the elbow. "Now, what's going on?"

The blond swallowed. "It isn't… straight."

The man in the suit looked at him as though he were crazy, and so the blond pointed to the corner of the stage. The man said, "Looks fine to me, uh…" He tugged on the blond's shoulder. "What's your name?" The man mumbled something; the man in the suit looked even more irritated. "Oh, _you_. Get lost and go do your job." He gave the man a shove and looked at the hammerer. "You're doing fine. Go on."

"Sure, Director Sarzhak," the hammerer said, yawned, and went back over to resume his work.

The man – the director, it seemed – stood there a moment longer with his hands on his hips, his gaze sweeping the area and the expression on his face one of irritation coupled with boredom. Caius moved closer, wondering if he could somehow use this high-tempered director to–

"Where is she?" the director started muttering, cutting into Caius's thoughts. "She should've been here. Where is she? Where _is_ she? I swear, if she drops out _tonight_…"

Caius moved a little closer. "Director Sarzhak?"

"Hmm?" The man pivoted, looking surprised and slightly less irritated. "Yeah. Who're you?" Before Caius could answer, he raised both eyebrows and folded his arms. "I'd remember a face like yours. You're new. Never been to one of my shows, I don't think. You really should."

For a moment, Caius couldn't believe his good fortune. Whatever obstacles he had worried about in his mind vanished in an instant at the director's words. "I would like to," he said, and meant it – the play interested him, and it seemed that not only did significant craftsmanship go into it, but he had the impression it was also something well worth seeing. "However, we do not have any means of getting in tonight."

"You're here now, aren't you? Wait, who's 'we'?" Sarzhak folded his arms.

Caius tilted his head. "Myself, and a comrade."

"Comrade, hmm? A woman, by any chance?"

Caius hesitated. "Indeed, she is."

"So, you'd like to show your… woman friend one of the most spectacular shows in all of history, fit to overshadow even the Pompa Sancta of Old Cocoon?"

Caius's expression tightened. "We are not _together_, if that is what you are implying."

His response was a noncommittal, but hardly objective, "hmm", which Caius found oddly obnoxious. "Anyway, you have no means of getting in, but you want to. Well, if you're a paying customer _and_ interested in my play, I suppose I could get something wrangled up for you. _If_ you're a paying customer," he reiterated.

"And, if I may," Caius said, "why would you be so… _kind_ as to do this?"

"Kind?" Sarzhak almost seemed befuddled. "Hardly, but it's none of my business how _paying_ customers get in here, only whether they can _keep_ paying and cover expenses. As far as I'm concerned, if I'm being honest, I'd be a complete idiot to turn down another five hundred gil for my own pride." His lips formed a smirk. "And what better way to enjoy Yusnaan's nightlife than to cap it off with the play?"

This time, Caius did not comment on the implications. "I will return with the payment, then, and soon."

Sarzhak nodded. "I'll be looking forward to it. Five hundred exactly, get it?"

Caius raised an eyebrow. The director seemed satisfied with this as an answer and turned away. A moment later, he was back to shouting at another small group of people, and Caius turned away into the shadows of an alley. As he approached the wall, he allowed himself to melt into the ambient chaos, briefly feeling Yeul's presence – which always pursued him – grow stronger, touching him with feathery wisps. Moments later, he reformed beneath the impassive stare of the Ruffian building in the wall of stone.

It remained as quiet as before, but the sun was now down at the horizon and the shadows had grown thick, long, and dark. The sun had turned bronze, highlighted with gold streaks, and very dark at the opposite horizon. He hesitated, reaching out with his senses, determining exactly where Lightning could be, and found her deep inside the temple. Her presence felt faint and faraway, but he knew beyond a doubt that it was indeed her.

His steps stuttered when he started to walk inside.

Lumina was right. He had gone and destroyed her world, her future, and all of her friends and family, and now he had the audacity to try and help her. Even though Yeul had encouraged him to do exactly that, it still bothered him, dragged out guilt and frustration, things he had worked so hard to suppress for so many centuries–

_Enough_. There was no time for that now.

He squared his shoulders and walked in without further hesitation.

* * *

Lit by the soft, warm light of the torches on the walls, Fang paced in obvious and continuous anxiety between the two chairs of her quarters. Her steps had grown stiff and struck the ground harder as each minute passed. Lightning stood quietly, absorbing the information she had just been given. Not for the first time, she wished she could feel more than mere and mild concern at what the woman had said.

Sazh had rejoined them, but he sat in one of the chairs, not saying much. Instead, he had Chocolina in one hand and stroked his finger down her back. The bird made soft chirping sounds every so often, but she seemed well aware of the silence and just why it had fallen so heavily.

Lightning finally broke it. "So, Vanille will die if she does as the Order asks."

This only seemed to aggravate Fang further, her pace quickening as she continued to march back and forth between the chairs, now accompanied by a soft whimper.

"You needn't worry. We can help. I just can't _make_ her leave."

"And why _not_?" Fang snarled, whirling on her, golden silk flaying out as though billowed by a breeze and shining in the light of the torches. "I've coaxed her into doing plenty of things she didn't really want to do. Vanille _will_ do the right thing, as long as she knows what it is, or is shown what it is. You can't convince me that _you_, one of the most rock-headed folks I know, can't make her leave!"

"It's not like that," she said, shaking her head. "It's outside the scope of my power to _make_ people do anything. If they choose not to be saved, or they defy me, I can do nothing. All I can do is coax, but if they continue to push back, I have no choice but to let them go."

"I don't believe it." Fang came right up to her face. "Not for a second. Why would Bhunivelze give you a restriction like _that_ when he needs you to _save people_? It doesn't make any sense!"

The rose-haired woman opened her mouth, but whatever words she wanted to speak simply died.

The other woman snorted. "That's what I thought."

Back to feeling nothing, the warrioress let her mind focus on duty once more as Fang turned away, again sour-faced. There was little else she _could_ do. Fang had expressed her anxiety, and though she had calmed somewhat after being reminded that the end of the world was still over a week off, it had done little to dull her worry. Unable to leave Ruffian, lest it fall into some imagined disarray of hers, Lightning understood how helpless she felt, not able to go after and retrieve Vanille herself.

"Perhaps there is something in those ruins we could find that could help us?"

Fang stopped. When she sighed heavily, her shoulders heaved. "No," she said, her tone one of defeat. "We've gone over all the places we could get to. All that's left is whatever's sealed behind those heavy golden doors deep in the catacombs. My guess is that the clavis is back there." She turned. "There's not all that much–" As though someone had flicked a switch, she stopped, skin around her eyes tightening.

Lightning turned her head to see Caius come into the room, as stone-faced as ever, and glance at her, meeting her eyes, before looking back at Fang.

The dark-haired woman, shoulders taut and straight, suddenly strode forward. Quick as a thought, and to Lightning's muted shock, she lashed out, backhanding the warrior who towered over her as though he were a child, forcing him to turn away and twist his upper body slightly to stay upright. The _crack_ of bone striking bone set the small hairs on the woman's skin standing upright as a chill settled into her bones.

Fear pierced Lightning's heart and shot through her blood as a spurt of adrenaline. Caius could break bones with one hand and send Fang flying to the other side of the room in a heartbeat if he so chose. There was no telling what could set him off, but Lightning knew that a physical attack had been in excess of enough in the past. She had once sported the bruises and scars to prove it.

But he did nothing now, the only reaction being a narrowing of the eyes, even as the skin on his right cheek grew red in harsh contrast to his dark hair.

"That's for Vanille and everything else," was the woman's snarled remark before she whirled away from him.

Lighting instinctively tensed, but Caius did not move.

No one said anything or hardly breathed, and no one made a single movement. Only after a good ten seconds had gone by did Lightning finally released the breath she had been holding, eyes fixed to the welt the woman had left on his skin. Despite being mostly hidden by his hair, it was impossible to miss, and she knew it had to smart even if he did nothing to show discomfort – nothing, that is, except for a faint tightening of the jaw and a bead of perspiration that briefly appeared at his temple.

"Now," Fang went on, as though she could no longer stand the silence, "about Vanille. You go in there and get her out, you hear? Bring her back here, where she'll be safe. I can watch over her here. She's still just a kid." Shaking her head, she looked sadly at Lightning. "I can't protect her forever, but for now, it's what I have."

Did she really believe her own words? "I understand."

"She's all I have left. Especially _now_." Her gaze flashed back to Caius as she spoke. "If you can do that for me, then I can rest easy at last. Well, easier." As though all the strength had been suddenly sapped from her, she sank down into the free chair and buried her face in her hands.

Sazh looked at Lightning. "You let me know when you're ready to get Vanille," he said. "I'll help you out."

Lightning nodded to him. "I will. Thank you, Sazh." She looked at Fang, hearing Caius shift his weight behind her, but still say nothing. "Why did you do that, Fang? It wasn't necessary."

A sound very much like a choked snarl came from behind her hands. "I've been thinking, and I've been stressed."

Lightning did not like that answer. "You were fine with him earlier."

"Well–" Her head suddenly came back up, eyes on fire. "–it sure ain't _earlier_, is it?"

Though she felt it as merely a distant prickle, she nonetheless felt frustration at the woman's words and led the way out of the room, turning sharply, and it was only when they were in the hall, past the bend and away from Fang's quarters, that she stopped and faced Caius. The welt was still visible, not as much as before, but she could tell just from its appearance that it hurt. Yet, he continued to display no real signs of pain, only minor discomfort, as though he were merely a touch sore and little else.

"I would have stopped her if I had even the slightest thought she had been about to attack you," she said.

Caius's dark eyes fixed on hers. "I need five hundred gil."

Lightning blinked. "You need… what?"

"I require the use of five hundred gil for entry into the Augur's Quarter." It was as though he were merely telling her the weather. "Do you have enough gil on your person to provide? I must return soon so that I may acquire the tickets that are needed for the both of us. They will be good until world's end, or so I was told."

Again, she blinked. Perhaps the welt was only the result of striking a body that was a perfect mimicry of flesh, and he felt no pain at all. "Yes, I have five hundred gil."

He looked impatient. "May I have it?"

She mumbled an acknowledgement and reached into her satchel. As she felt around, she looked back up at him and saw him glaring back at her. Without another word, she handed him the necessary coins, dropping them into his outstretched hand. He spent a moment flicking through them with a thumb and forefinger, then closed his fingers around them and dropped his hand to his side. Lightning stared at him, unsure what to do next.

"Wait here. I will return shortly."

She finally found her voice. "No, wai–" But her words fell on deaf ears, his form melting into wisps of chaos and vanishing before her eyes before she had even finished the first word. When his visage had completely vanished, she allowed herself to seethe a moment, the faintest hint of frustration filling her blood. She continued on through the hall, back out into the central atrium, to find that it had cooled, the residual heat of the desert dissipating into the cloudless evening sky. The activity level had increased in turn, and shops that had been closed all day had come open, their neon signs shining bright above shutters that had been thrown wide.

In a small half-circle of chairs off to the side sat a trio of bandits. One of them, a young woman with long, black hair, leaned excitedly toward an older woman, looking haggard and stressed, as she gestured wildly. The third sat with his back against his chair, but still appeared fixated on the older woman. With nothing else to do, Lightning moved closer, doing her best to look casual.

Just past the group was a small weapons shop, so she directed her feet there. It sold a wide assortment of items, from small daggers to vials of oils and various other cleaning agents. She removed her sword and examined it below the blue neon light, eyeing the nicks and scratches in the blade. They were so light that, unless she turned the blade, they could not be seen, but they were present and gave her something to do. She purchased a vial of viscous oil and a rag, sat in one of the empty chairs in the half-circle, raised one leg to lay her ankle on the other knee, placed her sword across her knees, took out the rag, and began to fill in the imperfections.

The repetitive motion of working the oil into the metal and filling the scratches felt real and human, giving her hands a much-needed respite. It reminded her of days of field-stripping weapons and cleaning her gunblade. It felt good to work with her hands again, something so simple and human, and though she split her attention between cleaning and listening, it was a welcome respite from being a powerful, emotionless pawn.

"Did you see where it went?" one of the bandits said.

The older woman grunted. "Off into the sky, like it'd never seen me. But I saw it again afterward. It–" She paused; she heard a rustling sound. "It blotted part of the sky out. It's _huge_. I think it has six wings. Maybe four. Well… I'm not sure, really, but it was just _huge_." Her voice became raspy; Lightning imagined her eyes widening. "I got away while the rest of my team got picked up in its jaws. Its wings blew up a sandstorm. Next thing I know, I'm getting pelted with little rocks and twigs – but they weren't rocks and twigs, I soon saw."

"What were they?" said the young man.

The woman suddenly laughed, but it sounded bitter and a little forced. "Why, it was _bones_, young man, stripped of flesh and thrown at me as though they were this thing's toys. When I saw a skull land at my feet, I dug in and ran for my life. And that was fifty years ago." The woman snorted. "That's why I don't go out. That's why, when night falls, I stay right here. It's a man-eater. I don't plan on being the next victim."

"But you'd see it coming–" the young woman protested.

"No, no, you wouldn't! It's huge, but it flies _silent_, and if it comes opposite of the sun, or right out of the sun, you don't see it in time. To stay alive, you keep your wits about you. You run, flat out, as fast as you can. Never look back at it. Just _run_, or it plays with you."

Lightning could no longer bear her growing curiosity. "What is this beast you speak of?" she asked, and looked right at the gray-haired woman. Their eyes met and locked.

"The great flying gorgon," she said. "It owns this desert. Its wings cause a sandstorm, its teeth will peel the flesh from yours bones, and its _eyes_–" She took a deep breath. "Its eyes, they… they're small, and black, but there's so _many_ of them. They may be made of crystal. They might not even be eyes."

Lightning had no more chances to ask questions before she sensed a thick aura of chaos at her side and turned her head to see Caius materialize out the wisps of shadow. For a moment, all she smelled was the sickly sweet scent of the oil and the pungent, bitter scent of chaos.

Caius extended and opened his hand; Lightning half-expected to see the gil still there. Instead, though, she saw two laminated tickets, gleaming dully in the dying sunlight. On each ticket was written _Ballad of the Liberator: A Sound and Senses Spectacular_ in bold black letters. The image of a woman in a purple dress stood lengthwise on the ticket, and below that was printed the show times and the words "not void if unused".

She reached toward him, hesitantly, and plucked the ticket out of his hand, avoiding touching his hand. "We have our way in, as often as we need," she said. "End of the world special?"

"Something like that." He withdrew his hand. His fingers fell open, but the ticket was no longer there. Where could he have put it between those two movements? "Shall we?"

Her eyes found his as she pocketed the ticket. "The sooner, the better." She rose to her feet. "We will also make it a point to rescue Vanille as soon as we can. I think that will be enough to calm Fang's raging soul. She is–" She shook her head as she closed the vial of oil, neatly folded the rag, pocketed both, and returned her sword to her back. "She is hurting and suffering. I must do what I can to help her."

The warrior said nothing, only gazing steadily at her. Once more, she felt unnerved beneath that gaze. She had no real reason to fear him, right now, but the memory of his outburst on the way to this desert refuge still tingled in the back of her mind. Though he seemed restrained, she could not fully shake the memory of his old fighting prowess, how quickly and easily he could turn the tables with nary a thought.

"Let's go to Yusnaan," she said, more to break the uneasy silence than anything, "and see what we can find."

* * *

The gates of the Augur's Quarter were as tall and imposing as they had ever been, but this time, when Lightning came up and swiped the barcode of her ticket beneath the scanner, followed by Caius doing the same, they slid open enough for the two of them to enter. When a small group of onlookers attempted to get through, the single guard on the other side of the gate raised a baton that hummed with energy, causing them to shy back. As she passed through, she half-turned and pitched her thousand-gil ticket into the group. They scrambled for a moment before one of them came out victoriously holding it up and giving her a grand smile.

"The Augur's Quarter looks like a nice place to live," Hope's voice said in her ear. "It's unfortunate that the nicest part of town is off-limits to those who could most benefit from it."

Lightning glanced around. "I'm not so sure. This place is as dead as the desert. It's just more expensive. There's more life on the other side of those gates." Without slowing her pace, she continued forward, following Caius toward the statue in the plaza a long distance away. "So, what's the plan, now that we've bypassed going the long way around?"

"The palace is surrounded by a twenty-foot-high wall reinforced with steel girder. It's also topped with electrified wire. There isn't a way over or through it. All entrances are guarded by armored soldiers and beasts." There was a pause and a thoughtful _hmm_. "You either have to cut in through the supply line, which wouldn't be easy at all, especially in broad daylight and with the city on high alert, or punch a hole in the wall. I know how you feel about not interfering enough to cause a stir, but it might be necessary this time."

Now she slowed. "What did you have in mind?"

"Let's find out if you can use the supply line first. It would be difficult, but not impossible."

She stopped. "The supply line goes where?"

Caius stopped at this and looked at her with a wrinkled brow. "It goes into the loading bay of the palace. It will be heavily guarded, based on the chatter I heard from the guards. It…" He gave a lengthy sigh. "…won't be easy. In fact, it probably won't even be that efficient. You know what, never mind about that one. Go to the second plan. We'll go through the wall instead."

She briefly bared her teeth. "I won't do anything that will cause a riot and innocent people to possibly be killed."

"Don't worry about that, Light. I've got it handled. I was a scientist."

She blinked. "And what does that have to do with it?"

"Well, see that big statue there?"

Lightning looked at Caius, who tilted his head slightly, but said nothing, before looking up at the statue. "Yeah," she said warily, "I see the big statue, Hope. What does the big statue have to do with it, Hope?"

When he spoke again, she _almost_ thought she heard a chuckle in his voice. "You see, Director Sarzhak – first name Bennie, I think – puts on a show twice a week called 'Ballad of the Liberator', which the ticket in your pocket allows you in to see from now to the end of the world. One of the big draws is the fireworks show. While it's not as big as the one the city does almost all night, it's lit off during an awesome climax. If you were to, oh, say, double or triple the amount of fireworks and aim them _just_ right, you'd topple the statue."

"What did I say about _not_ raising a ruckus?"

"That's what the play is for."

Letting the words sink in a moment, she looked back at Caius. He folded his arms, hair and armor shining in the lights that had begun to glow all around as the sunlight faded, and gave her a curious look with one eyebrow raised. She nodded. "So, the guards and everyone would think something just 'went wrong' with the fireworks when the statue goes down and be too focused on that to notice if I slip inside."

"Exactly," he said approvingly. "The festivities don't start until seven o' clock, and the play itself doesn't start until three in the morning. It'll give you plenty of time to gather up the fireworks you need to bring that statue down, and convince the stagehands to help you do it. From what I've heard from the news feed, there's rumors all of them are getting very bored of the show, hence why some of the 'oomph' is gone."

Lightning considered this. She could come back after the festivities began, hand over the required fireworks, get into the palace before the dust settled, and take care of Snow. She doubted she could get up to Snow before her six a.m. curfew came up, but at least she could tread inside, and tomorrow, she could simply teleport to the Augur's Quarter and walk the rest of the way in – or get even closer, providing the chaos didn't warp anything too much.

"Sounds like a plan. Where to first?"

"Speak to the lead stagehand. He handles the fireworks."

Lightning switched off the vox and began to walk. In moments, Caius was at her side, keeping in step with her though she could tell he had to shorten his stride, and it wasn't comfortable, and not speaking. She snuck a glance at him to see that the red welt was still present, but the majority of the red had vanished, leaving a faint bruise that would go away soon. He seemed to be alright, so she kept moving.

In the center square, Lightning gravitated toward a tall, blond, broad-shouldered man working over to the left of the statue. He had an armful of fireworks, all of them the type stuck on a long stick with a long fuse, and was working at very carefully arranging them inside a container. As he jostled them about, she said, "Excuse me."

The man grunted and glared at her. "Oh. What do you want?"

She didn't allow herself to be fazed. "It's about the fireworks. We need them to–"

"If you've got something to say about how something's handled around here, you go talk to the director. Everything gets filtered through _him_. Don't bother me." With one knee he kept a firework from falling before returning his full focus to the load he carried. Lightning opened her mouth, but Caius quietly said her name.

She backed away and looked at him. "Yes?"

"The director is up there on the balcony. He is the one in black and white stripes." Caius nodded at a man above her and to her right, currently engaged in intense conversation with a young and very lovely woman, taller than her with long rose-colored hair, wearing a purple dress – the same one from the ticket image, in fact. "Sarzhak is the one I acquired the tickets from."

Lightning followed the stairs up to the balcony and approached the pair. As she drew closer, she caught snippets of conversation. They seemed to be in the midst of an argument, but all she _really_ caught before the woman huffed and stormed off was something about the director's treatment of her.

"I've kept you employed _seventy-four years_, and _now_ you're complaining about how you're being treated?"

The woman stopped as if to respond, then kept going.

Lightning glanced at her, then at the director, who had folded his arms and turned his back. "Was that the leading lady of your play, the one who portrays the Liberator?"

The director turned very slowly to look at her, his eyes traveling down to her feet, then back up, before one eyebrow arched at her. "Emphasis on _was_. Since we're so close to the end and she's 'so bored', she basically tried to argue special treatment. I turned her down, she left. But it's probably what she was looking for." The man shrugged. "Ah, it's you again, big man. This must be your lady friend?"

Lightning wasn't sure what to think of Sarzhak's tone at the end of his sentence. It seemed to go up a little too much for a mere inquiry. "We are currently comrades in arms," she said before Caius could respond. "We wanted to know more about your play." She glanced at the palace wall. "And see the palace."

"My play's not off-limits, but the palace is." Sarzhak groaned. "Well, with my leading lady having gone off in a huff, I might not be able to get a play in tonight, anyway." Pause. "What a bummer," he added flatly.

She looked back at him. "Are you bored of this?"

He had dark eyes set into a sun-weathered face, but she could tell he was not much older than her, physically. "I've been doing this play twice a week for three hundred and fifty years. You could say that. But hey, the world's ending anyway, so what difference does it make?" There was a single black feather in his cap that arched back and ended in a gracefully drooping furl at the end. As he glanced at the palace, then the statue, then back at her, the feather floated a second or two behind, its fibers flaying out in the breeze.

"Then perhaps you should make this your best show yet," she said.

Now he looked at Caius. "You _are_ up to something."

Lightning shifted her weight to get his attention back to her. "Perhaps if you added more fireworks – say, double or triple the amount – it would make the show that much _more_ spectacular."

There was a long, long pause, during which Sarzhak simply stared at her as if she'd gone completely mad. "Did you escape from a mental hospital?" he asked finally.

Not sure how to respond beyond very mild irritation, she merely shrugged.

"Double or _triple_?" His stance shifted into one that oozed stubbornness and authority – hip cocked, arms loosely folded, head tilted, eyebrows up. "You know, a blast _that_ big could turn the stage into splinters. It might even be enough to bring down that statue. It _would_ certainly be quite a show."

"If you're unwilling, I'm sure everyone would be fine continuing the retinue you currently have until the end."

"Now, don't get me wrong," he said, "I'm curious now."

Lightning nodded. "You'll do it, then?"

The man's eyes seemed to twinkle. Did he suspect what they were up to? "Oh, why not?" he said. "I'm bored of all this, anyway. Thing is, I'm out of a lead actress." Relaxing his stance, he let his arms fall to his sides, then placed one on his hip and gave her an inquisitive look. "Sure, I could try chasing her down, but she's pretty hardheaded, and I'm not exactly on her 'most favorite persons' list. You look like the Liberator. A lot like her." His lips quirked very slightly. "Hmm. How'd you like to replace her?"

Lightning stared at him, not comprehending, much longer than she should have, before saying, "Me? On _stage_?"

"Sure, why not? You look like her and your walk tells me you're a fighter. You can do it."

Still staring, she turned on the vox. "Hope, did you catch any of this?"

"No, I'm–" There was a hissing _pop_ of static; Lightning grimaced and moved away from Caius. Only after she was a few feet away did he come through clearly again. She quickly told him what had transpired and was greeted by a few moments of utter silence. Then, slowly, he said, "Well, I suppose there's no point resisting. If you're up there, we don't have to worry about the actress getting hurt. You'll also be in a good position to get into the palace without any further hang-ups. Besides, it's not a question of can or can't…"

She sighed, feeling defeated. "There's some things in life you just do." She hesitated and looked over at Caius, who looked back at her without expression. "Then, you've got my back?"

"Of course I do, Light. Why wouldn't I?"

Unsure how to respond, she turned the vox off and walked back to the two men. "Alright, I'll do it," she said to the director with a nod. "Tell me what I need to do."

"The actress is taller than you, so you'll need to talk to the tailor about getting a dress fitted," he said. "You'll also need to get some fireworks. If you talk to the lead stagehand, he'll help you out with that." He nodded. "And, also, what is this man going to do, uh… you know, I never got your name."

Caius and Lightning exchanged a quick look before he said, "I am Caius. I will observe."

Now the director was genuinely, slyly smirking. "No," he murmured, rubbing his chin with one hand, "I don't think you will. I have a better idea. But first of all–" His eyebrows quirked. "What are you to each other? Just comrades? Friends? Colleagues? More than that? Closeted lovers, perhaps?"

If Lightning had still possessed her emotions with any real depth, she knew beyond any doubt that his last three words would have greatly annoyed her. "We are comrades, but formerly, we were enemies." She took a breath. Was it a good idea to give him even an inkling of the war they had been involved in, of the true depth of the relationship they had now? Would he understand? "We fought a long war. I lost. I–"

"You _are_ the Liberator. I knew it." The man's smirk widened. "And this must be the Destroyer. Yeah," he said at her startled expression, "I've heard the Order's propaganda." He brought up both hands and began to gesture in a somewhat wild and borderline comedic fashion. "Fated rivals, both chosen by Etro, destined to battle until the day Bhunivelze awakened. Yadda, yadda, yeah, we've all heard it. Most of us don't care. I'm one."

She raised an eyebrow. "So?"

"So, I think I'll write _you_ in." He began to slowly circle Caius, hands behind his back, while Caius's expression morphed into one of irritation coupled with very mild horror. Despite herself, she found herself struggling to hide her amusement. "The Liberator and the Destroyer, great warriors destined to fight until time's end. What a fantastic twist _that_ will make. And!" At this, he suddenly ducked to Caius's side, one finger up, and looked ecstatic. "I can _finally_ do something new. Between adding Caius and putting more fireworks in the show, this will be a performance they'll remember right into the new world!" He nodded. "Perfect."

Caius's jaw tightened, the muscles along the back of his cheekbone tensing, but after a moment, he relaxed. "It is up to you, Lightning. I will do as you ask."

She remembered all the times he had laughed in her face at her simple requests in the early days of the war. "It's not a bad idea," she said, meeting his eyes. When their gazes met and locked, she once again found the cosmos gazing back at her, though this time she did not feel as though she were staring into a void. "Alright. We'll talk to the lead stagehand and the tailor. I'll be back by three a.m."

"Yeah, about that last part…" Moving away from Caius, Sarzhak looked sternly at her. "Be back here by two to read over the script. I don't want anything going wrong, and I want to make _sure_ you're going to do the best job you can. I don't want a single thing phoned in, as the saying goes."

Lightning managed a smile, despite knowing it was more forced than anything. "I guarantee it will be."


	19. City of Color and Light

_**18 City of Color and Light**_

"Greetings, citizens of Yusnaan! It is now seven o' clock and the festivities have begun!" The voice called out over loudspeakers hidden around the trees across the sudden chaos that erupted throughout Yusnaan. Right on cue, girls of all shapes and sizes in colorful chocobo-esque costumes came swirling out onto the streets, accompanied by a shower of colorful confetti that sparkled in the warm yellow light that flooded the city. The crowd cheered and laughed; the girls in their revealing costumes giggled and grinned and tossed flower petals into the air. Men and women on drums beat out a primal rhythm that went directly into one's blood, feeding the fury and igniting a wild sensation that turned the night into a carnival of light and color.

Lightning had never been comfortable with parties to begin with, and being surrounded by one of such madness would have driven her right into frustration if she had been able to feel it. As it was, though, she felt a flicker of irritation as she looked around at the absurdity of it all. The sight of it seemed to drain some of her energy away; the day had been long because of the altered curfew, and the effects were beginning to show in a slowing of her body.

"Look at these fools," she murmured, "partying as though this is all they live for."

"Snow made it law a few centuries back that everyone was to live in eternal revelry." Hope sighed. "That doesn't sound like the Snow we used to know at all."

"Maybe not." She looked to her left; Caius quietly stood there, obviously waiting for her, but she noted a look of thoughtfulness etched into his features despite his overall stoicism. "But then, he lost that which made him happy a long time ago. Maybe he wanted to make sure everyone else had everything."

"Either way, things like this don't generally end well. I'd watch your back, Light. You're a good-looking woman in a city caught in the jaws of hedonism."

"Don't worry about me. Caius will watch where I cannot."

There was a pause. "Are… you sure it's a good idea to trust him so? I mean, after everything that's happened."

"No," she admitted, "but I don't have much choice."

"Well, alright. I guess I can trust _your_ judgment. Please be careful, Light."

Lightning switched off the vox and looked back at Caius, who met her gaze. They had spent the past couple of hours drifting through Luxerion, helping some people and trying to scope out the cathedral. All they had been able to find for sure was that, during the day, the place crawled with guards, and once the gates closed, it was locked up tighter than a fortress. Even the maintenance entrance, which she still had the key to, had been triple-locked, and Aremiah had been nowhere to be seen. She shuddered to think that the Order may have caught wind of her transgression and brought her back inside, where she could cause no more trouble.

Essentially, the ultimately goal of returning to Luxerion had been fruitless, and freeing Vanille looked to be less possible than ever. They _had_ briefly encountered Noel, but had only seen him long enough to tell him they were going to try and save Vanille before he had needed to make himself scarce.

Lightning stood with Caius near the entrance to the u-shaped street that curved through Fountain Square and toward the Augur's Quarter. It was not a very big city, Yusnaan, and so the revelers took up every spare inch. Confetti and lights sparkled all around, and the sound of music filled the air. Part of her wanted to give in, tempted by the sheer carnality of it all, but knew she could not. She was above it. She had to be.

"We need fireworks," she said, feeling the folded-up piece of paper that was the lead stagehand's note, scribbled on the wrapper from one of his rockets. "That's our first goal."

Caius looked hesitant. "So, we must wade into this…" Pause. "…madness to accomplish this goal?"

"Yeah," she muttered. "We've got to."

"Well…" Pursing his lips, he looked out across the crowd and placed his hands on his hips, shoulders back. "Where you go, I shall follow. Lead the way, Liberator."

After giving him a quick, quizzical look, she proceeded down into the ramp and waded into the cacophony of color and sound that was the night's festivities. People of all types had joined some of the dancing girls in their bright and colorful costumes, though any who tried to touch them was immediately swatted away with a loud and embarrassing _crack_, sending the offender cringing back again. Lightning made a circle around a pair of chocobos, gussied up in jewels and feathers, as they danced in rhythm to the music.

A pair of chocobo girls, one very dark-skinned and dressed in orange and gold feathers, the other tan-skinned with blue and green feathers, came up to them, showering them with rose petals and flashing wide grins before they went scampering off again, tossing more petals.

Lightning wished she had the ability to crawl in a hole.

"Perhaps they believe us to be together," Caius murmured. "They appear to be doing the same thing to other couples in the street. Do you see?"

"Yes." Why had she not foreseen such complications? "Thing is, we're _together_, but not like _that_." She hesitated as white petals fell on them, thrown by another overzealous chocobo girl. "You know, saying it like that doesn't make it better. What are we, Caius? Hesitant allies?"

His dark eyes and normally unreadable, shadowy features were lit gold by the lights, and for the first time, she could really see him. When his gaze met hers again, he looked less stoic than before, more relaxed, his brow no longer knit in the near-permanent semblance of a frown. "We wander in a gray area now, Lightning, neither friends nor enemies nor true comrades, merely coincidentally walking the same path, side-by-side. I suppose we can be what we wish to be, now – especially here, in this glittering city."  
She hesitated, letting his words sink in, and nodded. "Let's find some fireworks."

Before long, however, the infectiousness of the festivities began to get to her, and she found herself looking all around in a semblance of wonder. While some salaciousness took place, some of it right in the open, there was more dancing, singing, music-making, and innocuous color than anything else. A woman dressed in a blue silk dress and wearing a white, feathered mask sang in clear notes from a small stage in front of the fountain. Chocobo girls put on a show, dancing with juvenile birds not much taller than them. Throughout it all, the music kept on, the petals flew, confetti sparkled, and the occasional rocket exploded in the sky.

"Alright," she said, "we need fifty more rockets and at least three boxes of firecrackers." She peered through the crowd at a man preparing to light off a rocket and hurried to him. Caius came along a bit slower, more interested in sweeping the confetti off his shoulders at the moment.

"Excuse me?" she said as she came up to the man. His stand was located just beyond the fountain, near the wall. "I have a note from the boss. I need fireworks."

"What for? What boss?" The man snatched the note out of her hand. "Huh. Martin? What's he want these for?"

"We're adding to the Ballad of the Liberator."

"More fireworks?" He handed the note back to her. "Well, okay, whatever the boss says. Here." Picking up a bundle of rockets, he handed them to her. With some difficulty, she balanced their heavy tops on their willowy sticks; Caius helped her adjust them until she could tuck them into the crook of one arm. "And you need a box of firecrackers, too, it looks like. Uh, here, have these." A wooden box was thrust into her free hand, but Caius took it before she could attempt to, and she shot him a grateful look. "And for the signal…"

The man fitted a rocket with a pink and gold wrapper into his launch tube, lit it, and a few seconds later it went flying into the air with a _thwoop_ before exploding in a shower of pink accompanied by bits of gold. The crowd around them _oohed_ and _ahhed_ at the sight.

After the next group of fireworks was taken, Caius somehow managed to gather them all up at once into his arms before vanishing in a wisp of chaos. A few moments later, he returned, empty-handed, and she nodded to him. His presence made it so she didn't need to spend time running back and forth, at least. As she moved off, she tallied up the fireworks in her head and breathed a sigh of relief.

"We have twelve rockets now and two boxes of firecrackers. Thankfully, they've been generous."

Caius did not respond; surprised, she looked around, only to find him standing nowhere near her. Instead, he was back where she had left him, gazing up into the sky with light swirls of confetti, sparkling in the lights, falling all around him. As she came closer, she saw that his eyes were closed, head tipped back enough for his hair to fall away from his face, and a strange look on his face, one in no way positive.

Feeling unsure of herself, she moved to within arm's length. "Caius? You okay?"

His eyes opened. "After all that happened…"

When he trailed off, she felt herself frown. He had spoken so quietly that she'd barely heard him. "What are you thinking about?" she said, and moved a little closer. Now he looked at her, a few bits of confetti in his hair and on his skin, and she felt her breath hitch slightly at the look in his eyes. They were immensely solemn, sad, the usual stoicism gone, and he did not bother to hide any of it from her prying eyes. She stared openly at him, wanting to repeat her question, but the words would not come.

"Even after all that I have done, still the revelry continues," he murmured. With one hand, he shook some of the confetti out of his hair. It fell in glittering swirls to the ground. "I have not seen festivities such as this since Paddra, at the height of our civilization. We had…" He looked skyward again. "…incredible festivities."

"Were they a lot like this?" she said.

Now his lips twitched before curving, slightly, sadly. "We had lanterns instead of electric lights, for the sake of tradition, and we frowned upon the displays that we see here… but, yes, it was much like this. It was a celebration of the end of trade season and of life. This is a revel in hedonism, but there is life, too, here and there."

"At least they aren't fixating on destruction and darkness."

This time, when he looked at her, his gaze was razor-sharp, the solemnity amplified, but now standing alongside anger. "I am reminded every moment of the travesty that was my unleashing the chaos on the word. With all due respect, Lightning, you _are_ the Liberator, but I would prefer _not_ to be reminded by you."

"Then you will remember why you are here?"

"Believe me when I say I will. Do not remind me, not when we have a mission."

Though she would not admit it, she _did_ regret having said those words, but she allowed it to slip away, whispers in the back of her mind encouraging her to stay quiet. They went off again into the crowd, searching for the next stand of fireworks, but as they circled back from the Augur's Quarter, they passed the woman singing in front of the fountain, whose strong voice rang out across the more distant beat of drums. A twenty-piece orchestra accompanied her, arranged on either side of the stage. Caius slowed as they passed; Lightning did the same, more for his sake than anything. The song she sang was one she didn't know, but it was beautiful, accompanied by the swirling sound of the strings and a soft touch of brass and woodwinds.

To her surprise, he stopped altogether, looking across the crowd at the woman. "I knew a Yeul who could sing," he said as she moved up beside him. "Her voice was not as strong, but it sounded much like this woman's. She sang all the time, and she sometimes asked if it irritated me." She was close enough to hear a deep breath rush into his lungs and a quiet creak of armor with the movement. "It never did."

Lightning looked up at him. "What is she to you, exactly, if you don't mind my asking?"

He did not look at her. "My charge, and now my reason for existing at all. My–" He cut himself off abruptly, and whatever he had been about to say turned into, "–daughter, in a way, century after century. Every one of them was unique. I cannot, and will not, abandon them to the darkness beyond the world's end."

"I know, Caius," she said, and this time he looked curiously at _her_.

The last stand of fireworks was visited, but this time, the half-drunk man that greeted them flat refused to provide more than a single firework. "The rest of these are special," he told her, giving a show of finger-pointing despite his obvious tipsiness. "Very special. Don't you dare ask for them and– _don't you dare_!" he cried when she started to reach for the rockets. She snatched her hand back as though scalded.

"What makes them special?" she murmured.

The man's eyes looked empty. "Don't matter. Don't serve their old purpose now. They… I can…" He shook his head. "You want more fireworks, go find 'em. Don't care what da boss says." Picking up a bottle from the ground, he took a swig, and when next he spoke, he stank of cheap alcohol. "Got 'nough on me now with…" Expression contorting, he waved the hand holding the bottle. "Jus' go," he slurred. "Get lost!"

Lightning turned away; Caius snorted softly.

"Choco-boco! Did I hear something about needing to get some _fireworks_?"

The rose-haired soldier and the dark warrior turned toward the obnoxiously saccharine voice at the same time. They were met by a broad, red-lined smile and large blue eyes framed by long blonde tresses – a girl in a bright yellow chocobo outfit with red and blue accents, who placed her hands upon her hips to accentuate her smile.

"We are," Lightning said, warily. "Why do you ask?"

"Well, choco-boco-oco! It just happens to be your lucky day!" The girl reminded her of Chocolina, for the most part, being only somewhat more restrained. "Find the Golden Chocobo Girls and speak the secret words. They'll then present you with our very special gold-wrapped fireworks!"

Lightning was almost afraid to ask. "And what are the 'secret words', exactly?"

The girl's smile seemed a bit mischievous. "Here! It says right there on the back of the flyer." She held out a flyer with a chocobo girl on the front; Lightning took it and flipped it over. "Choco-boco! Have a wonderful evening, you two, and enjoy the festivities! Don't forget to check out the couples' section." Before Lightning could berate her for making silly assumptions, she went zipping off into the crowd again.

The woman stared at the words on the back of the flyer. "Are you kidding me? There's no way I'm saying that."

She heard Caius shift his weight at her side. "Are you so proud?"

"Hardly," she said as she folded it and tucked it away. "That doesn't mean I can't still be embarrassed. Is it wrong for me to be, Caius Ballad?" At this, she looked sidelong at him with a small quirk of the corner of her lips when he stared back at her. "I may not have all my emotions, but I know how to be embarrassed." Not that there was much point in avoiding the chocobo girls. They weren't going to get enough fireworks from the others, so that left the girls instead. So much for maintaining an image.

The first chocobo girl, dressed in a golden outfit edged in glittering blue feathers, stood over by the fountain, greeting guests as they passed, all the time wearing a bright, broad smile. She was a pretty girl, about Lightning's height, larger than the vast majority of the other girls, her outfit reflecting the light in a way that made her glitter like diamonds. As Lightning approached, she tossed her blonde hair out of her eyes and grinned wider.

"Choco-boco, hello there!" she said. "Enjoying the festivities?"

"Haven't really taken advantage of them yet," she admitted. "We need fireworks."

Her eyes seemed to glitter, like Lumina's did when she was up to some mischief. Lightning immediately felt herself go on guard. "Well, then! Chocobo! It's time to tell. What are the magic words?"

Lightning opened her mouth, and balked. She heard Caius snort softly. Probably laughing at her.

"No choice," she muttered. "Uh… meow-meow choco-chow."

The girl's grin got even _wider_, if that was even possible, and she let out a cute if somewhat ear-piercing squeal that made her wince involuntarily. "That was _adorable_!" she said as she finished, holding out her hands wrapped in the golden feathers and raising both eyebrows. "Oh, that completely earns the reward! These are for _you_." Turning, she gathered up five rockets and handed them over; Lightning grunted as she juggled their unwieldy shapes until Caius plucked them out of her arms and vanished in one smooth movement. She mentally rolled her eyes. "So, what else have you two been up to this evening?"

She caught the suggestive tone and immediately felt her spirits plummet. Her lack of experience with such things had not given her the foresight, so now she tried to keep the mess from growing. "He is not my boyfriend, but my comrade," she said, and the word rolled easily off her tongue and made her feel oddly better. _Comrade_.

"Oh, my apologies," she said, and seemed genuinely so. "It's just that most couples who come through here are looking for a good time together, but it seems you two are on a mission, is that right?" She tilted her head. "Oh, just ignore me. But try to have some fun, too, okay? You look like you could use it."

She couldn't fathom the idea of having fun at such a time.

Caius returned a few moments later as she continued walking and fell in step beside her. Together, they visited the three other chocobo girls, and soon Lightning had all the fireworks they needed. Once Caius returned after handing off the last of the fireworks, it was to a woman wandering forward without feeling much direction.

"We are finished," he said to her. "How are you feeling?"

Lightning didn't look at him. Her head felt heavy, her knees and feet sore from walking. She knew she had enough in her to continue to the end of the day, but she didn't want to. Bhunivelze had given her great power, strength, and endurance, at the cost of her emotions. It was a fair enough trade, yet right now, it felt… incomplete. Had he been lax in his gifts? Because now she felt as though if she sat down, she would sleep until the sun rose again.

"I feel tired," she admitted at last, "but I am fine otherwise."

"I see," he murmured. "Do you need to rest?"

Still walking, she glanced briefly at him. He looked back at her, and she thought she saw a hint of concern in his eyes. Maybe. "I'm fine," she said, but knew herself to be unconvincing when Caius frowned harder. She sighed. "I do feel drained," she admitted, and looked down at the ground. "There are a few hours yet until we have to go back to the Augur's Quarter. I am… tempted to rest."

"Then you should," he said.

"No." She shook her head. "I can hold out a few more–"

"And then what?" he cut her off, and looked sternly at her. "None of this will do any good if you run out of energy before you are recalled to the Ark. You must be in prime condition for the play. I will not have you going up there and stumbling through because you are exhausted. Without you, we cannot win this."  
Lightning stopped. "Is that what this is about?"

"Lightning, you _are_ the Liberator. You have the power to keep these people from the darkness. You are the opposite of me, the light to my darkness." They had stopped a fair distance from the crowds, near the wall, where it was more shadowy. He moved to stand in front of her and leaned on the wall, propping his arm up above his head. It seemed to emphasize his height. "You are more important than you grasp."

"I'm still just a pawn, though," she murmured, "being pushed around a board in some cosmic game. Maybe I'm all that stands between these people and darkness, but I've still been reduced to being an errand girl for an entity with no grasp of humanity, and it isn't the first time."

"And that," he murmured, "is a negative trait of these creatures. Only Etro had any idea what it meant to be human."

"And you killed her for it."

Caius's features hardened, but his eyes fell from hers. "Yes," he said in a soft voice. "That was my foolish choice to make, and you know that." His gaze stayed down for a time; Lightning folded her arms and leaned shoulder-first against the wall. "All the reason more that it is important you live." His eyes returned to hers. "You are the last light standing between the madness I created and the hope of a new world."

"How fitting, then, that my nickname is 'Light'," she said. "Caius, I understand my purpose. I know how important I am. Hope tells me constantly."

Caius's eyes remained fixed on hers, and as she gazed back, she found herself staring more than anything, the world around them growing quiet. For a few moments, all that mattered was the way his eyes and hair caught the light and how he gazed at her. The severity on his face had given way to a strange gentleness that she could not recall him ever showing her before. Neither of them spoke for a time.

Her body felt strange beneath his gaze. All her stoutness, her assertion that she would be alright without resting, began to lose strength. Her spine, once rigidly set into a straight line, relaxed; she felt her face soften. Did he really want her to rest? Was he actually, truly caring about her welfare?

"I will do as you ask," he said, softly, "and I will not make you do anything you do not wish. All I ask is that, for your safety and the welfare of the world, you would rest."

An involuntary growl reached her throat as she lowered her gaze, but she could feel herself giving in. "I just…"

"I will say no more on the matter. This, I promise."

Lightning raised a hand to her face. "I suppose there isn't much else I can do, is there?" After rubbing some of the stiffness out of her brow, she looked back at him, giving him a stern expression, but perfectly aware that her eyes were softer than she intended. "Alright. I will be no good stumbling in exhaustion about the stage, and I cannot save anyone when I am dead. Fine, I'll rest."

Caius's hair shone gold in the light, the colors shifting as he briefly bowed his head to her. "Good. There is an inn at the plaza near the station. It may be best to go there."

Lightning nodded. "Lead the way."

Caius hesitated, but only for a moment, before moving away from the wall and threading through the crowd and confetti. Lightning stayed right behind him to the best of her ability, and he paused and waited for her if she took a bit longer. At the inn, tucked between two apartment buildings, they entered a small lobby lit with soft lighting and surrounded with sound-deadening panels that greatly dulled the noise of the festivities. An old woman sat behind the counter and looked up as they approached.

"One to stay," Lightning said, and deposited the required gil on the counter. As the old woman flipped through an old ledger and made marks with a golden pen, Lightning looked at Caius again. "I guess you'll take this time to go back to see Yeul, right? You can stay a few hours this time. It'll be nice."

He did not immediately respond. "Indeed," he said. "When would you like to be awakened?"

"Come by at one-thirty. That will give us plenty of time."

"One-thirty it is. I will return then."

The old woman handed Lightning a card key; she moved away from the counter and started to head toward the lift to go to her room on the third floor, but then stopped and looked at Caius again. He had turned his back, walking back toward the door, so she swallowed and called his name.

As though she had flipped a switch, he stopped and half-turned again. "Yes, Lightning?"

She looked him in the eye. "Call me 'Light'."

His expression did not change, but she thought she saw his gaze soften as he nodded. "As you wish. I will see in the morning, Light." Though his lips quirked at one corner, no other change came to his features, and he turned away and went out the front door. Lightning glanced at the floor and continued to her room.

* * *

The last of the pilgrims had been ushered out of the grand cathedral and the great doors shut as the holy section of the city closed down for the night. Guards changed shifts and went into corners to take up their vigil. The only people left standing at the altar were Vashti, the priestess, and Vanille, the saint. Vashti busied herself on reading to herself, under her breath, from one of the books on the altar. Vanille, meanwhile, bade her goodnight and went away to her chamber, where she could shut the door and have a semblance of privacy.

Only once the door was shut and locked and a lamp lit in the corner did her friend reveal herself. "Hey, Vanille."

The young woman managed a small smile. "Lumina, it's good to see you."

Lumina sat on the foot of the bed, swinging her legs. "I'm kind of surprised they haven't given you stately quarters to sleep in," she muttered. With one hand, she twirled her hair around her finger. "You deserve it. You _deserve_ the privacy and respect that comes with larger quarters. Don't you think so, too?"

"It won't matter soon enough," Vanille murmured. "So, how are things in the outside world?"

"Oh, you know. The usual."

The young woman sighed and sank down onto her bed. "I'm not surprised," she murmured. "Well, then, I should get some rest. You probably should, too, if you do at all."

She smiled again, and Lumina rolled her eyes, but flashed a grin and vanished into a wisp of darkness. Vanille shed her ceremonial robes and headdress and donned instead the nightgown that would keep her cool throughout Luxeiron's warmer night. Peeling back the sheets, she switched off the light and climbed in. In moments, the only sound was that of the insects beneath her window in the cathedral garden and the glow of starlight. The ethereal glow of the world's edges gave the sky a faint, blue-gray glow.

Vanille lay there for a few minutes, feeling her body sink ever more toward sleep, with her fingers clutching the crystal shard tucked under her pillow.

The sound of the guards taking up residence outside her door made her wince and curl up a little bit tighter beneath the sheets. Lumina had needed to face them head-on, and Vanille had needed to tell them that she was perfectly fine to allow in, before they had decided _not_ to decapitate her. To touch the saint was punishable by being thrown out of the cathedral for seven days. To be in the saint's room, _alone_ and without a chaperone, was punishable by beheading on the spot. Lumina had only escaped in the end because she laughed and joked and drove the guards mad until they believed her to be a prankster without malice and had no _choice_ but to leave her alone.

The sound of clothing rustling faintly at her window jolted her out of her thoughts. She held her breath, listening, and heard the soft sound of someone breathing.

Vanille lifted the covers and choked back a gasp of shock. A young man, bathed in starlight, dressed in Luxerion-style clothes, crouched on her windowsill and stared right at her. A pair of ornate but deadly-looking swords were crossed on his back, shining dangerously in the faint light.

Suddenly terrified, Vanille shot bolt upright and opened her mouth.

The man pounced from the windowsill to her bed and covered her mouth with one hand, the other grasping one of her flailing wrists, but Vanille was having none of it, the instincts of a huntress kicking in as she became a beast, lashing out with nails and feet and trying to boot him off. All the time, she tried to pry his hand away to call for the guards – guards she had never before wanted, but was suddenly grateful for.

"Vanille, _stop_, I'm not here to hurt you!" The raspy whisper came against her ear, just loud enough to hear. A jolt of familiarity made her stop struggling. "There. Recognize me?"

Vanille pried his hand away with both of hers. It was too dark to make out his features, so she shook her head.

"It's me," he said, still close to her ear. "Noel Kreiss."

She gasped his name, then covered her own mouth with both hands before removing one to cover his. The guards outside the door moved and murmured amongst themselves, but despite all the struggling, they did not seem to have been alarmed. She released her breath and removed her hands. "Noel," she whispered. "The Shadow Hunter. Why are you back? I thought you rejected the Order's teachings centuries ago."

"Oh, I did," he whispered back. "Believe me. And, for good measure, you should too. Look, I can't stay long. I think I tripped an alarm on the way over the outer wall."

"I'm sure you did. They have this place locked down like a fortress." As she spoke, she heard the sound of boots on the ground outside and winced. At any moment, they could burst into the room to protect their saint, as soon as word reached her guards that there was someone inside. "Noel, what's going on? Why would you risk getting beheaded by coming here? Is it that important?"

"Stay quiet and listen," he ordered her. The urgency in his tone silenced her immediately. "I'm here to get you out of here. I know it won't be easy, but I've gotta try, or else it'll just get worse."

"_Out_ of here? Noel, I can't leave! Ever!"

"Keep your voice down! Lightning and Caius mentioned something about you needing to get out of here. I couldn't stay long before the Order's guards shot at me." He rubbed his upper left arm with his right hand; she looked to see a bandage for the first time wrapped there. Had he been hit by them? "I didn't get any details, but Lightning seemed serious. We need to go, _now_, before the guards find me."

Vanille felt her chest tighten and breathing start to quicken. "No, Noel, I can't… I _can't_. You don't _understand_."

"I'm trying to save them time," he said. "Don't _you_ wanna see Fang?"

"Of course," she said, "but there's something more important _here_ that needs to be done. I'm sorry, I can't leave, but _you_ need to." With both hands, she pushed him away. "Get out of here–"

The door suddenly flew open and banged against the wall. Vanille shrieked and Noel's eyes flew wide in the glow of light from the hallway. A guard shouted, the bayonet on his rifle gleaming. Noel stumbled backward toward the door, but was not fast enough to avoid the guard ramming the blade into his shoulder. The smell of fresh blood, very pungent and metallic, filled the air, and Noel cried out, first in pain, then in anger. A kick and stumbling step later, and he was flying out of the window with the guard straightening from where he had been forced backward a step by the blow. A single shot rang out before the three guards rushed to the window.

"M'lady? M'lady!" Firm hands took her shoulders while concerned eyes fixed on her widened ones. As the lamp in the corner came on, Cecil's warm features greeted her. "Are you alright?"

"Yes, yes!" she insisted. "I'm perfectly alright."

It was forbidden to touch the saint without being anointed by the Order, but even as an anointed member, Cecil still was not allowed even the slightest of unprofessional touches, yet he raised a hand to briefly cup her cheek before quickly moving away. Vanille felt her heart clench. It could get him permanently banished from her presence if he got caught, but he didn't seem to care, though she wished he did. She liked Cecil quite a lot. The thought of never seeing him again would make it very difficult to greet the next day.

"She is unhurt," Cecil announced. The trio of guards kept searching around the room, though there was not much to see. Vashti stood at the door with her hands covering her mouth, but the severity of her expression made Vanille's stomach plummet. Without her mask, the priestess was less intimidating and more… frightening.

But Vashti's hands quickly fell away before she came with a swirl of her nightclothes to the younger woman's side, grasping her wrist with both hands. "Thank Bhunivelze," she murmured. "What did the intruder want with you? He must have come for a reason; did he say what it was?"

Vanille desperately tried to think of what to say, and in her terror, she said, "He wasn't here long. He had only just come through that window when all of you arrived." Even as she spoke, hating herself for falling back into the lies that had so often brought suffering, something told her she had said exactly the wrong thing.

"Thank Bhunivelze. Will you be alright? Perhaps…" Her eyes fixed Vanille with a concerned stare. "Perhaps you should come to the main chambers. It will be… wait." Rising, she snapped her fingers. "Guards, gather the saint's things and bring her to the inner chambers. She will be safe there."

Now her stomach shot straight down through the earth into some hellish underworld. "Vashti, what's going on?"

"You mustn't be left out of our sight, from now on."

"Nothing _happened_," she tried, but from the woman's cold stare, she knew it was too late.

"But it _could_ have. Vanille, my dear, you know how precious you are to Bhunivelze's plans. So much rests on your shoulders. You are the _only_ one who can banish the darkness forever." The priestess embraced her, but her arms felt stiff instead of soft. "Come now, and don't fret. You'll be safe with us."

Vanille said nothing, bowing her head submissively, as the guards formed a protective halo behind her and Vashti led the way to the chambers in the cathedral's center. As she descended from the starlight into the pit of darkness, nearer the chaos, for the first time, she truly felt the weight of her gilded cage.

* * *

_I apologize for the wait on this one. It gave me... a lot of roadblocks, plus it's been "one of those months". So, anyway, yet another twist to the canon narrative I'm adding here. They just keep piling up, don't they? What more could I possibly add at this point? Well, as you'll see... quite a bit. I have a lot more up my sleeve yet to come, so stay tuned. Things are going to get... interesting, and I'm only just now getting to the conclusion of Act I!_


	20. Ballad of the Liberator

_**19 Ballad of the Liberator**_

Caius had not been among so much madness since many long centuries ago spent in the presence of the seeress during one of Paddra's grand ceremonies – an officiated wedding, or a large banquet. The rumors were spreading that the woman who would be donning the Liberator costume tonight _was_ the Liberator herself, though the others turned them down as unfounded. Caius had declined to change out of his armor into a different outfit, insisting that it would be quite enough for their purposes. Lightning had been led away to a dressing room after going over the new script with him and Sarzhak, and he had not seen her for some time.

Caius waited outside the dressing room, sitting on the stairs, back straight and shoulders squared. Anyone passing gave him a noticeable berth and did not meet his eyes. That was fine. Lightning could handle herself, but there was no way he was letting anyone so much as look her direction if they did not belong there.

He had not returned to the temple while she slept. This, he had not told her. Instead, he had gone to the clock tower in Luxerion, towering into the clouds above a silent, sleeping city, to meditate. Up there, the wind had been cold, but he could think clearer than in the midst of the temple's chaos.

Yeul's voice had come to him, pleading with him to _return to us_, but though it had taken great effort, he had resisted the desire to do so, and she had withdrawn soon after. His mind, consumed, and his heart, churning, were his sole companions as he closed himself off to the world instead.

He had sat there for hours, doing nothing but watch the clouds drift by and the stars move slowly on their axis.

And then, right on schedule, awoken Lightning from her rest.

It had been relatively easy to rouse her, and at first he had not questioned why, but upon seeing her exhausted face, little better than when he had left her to begin with, he could not help but do so. She had said nothing, walking upright out of her room and locking it, leaving him staring at her until she turned and asked him why he could not seem to look away. All he could do in response was stare. It unsettled her. He apologized and looked away, but it had not come soon enough to soothe her mind.

Caius felt helpless before the new feelings that had arisen inside of him regarding this woman. He had started this journey with her to soothe Yeul's troubled heart and pick up the pieces of the mess he had left. In the time between now and when he had joined her just yesterday, his concern for her had grown to cover her wellbeing. It was logical to do so, of course, her being the one who would ultimately save the world from the madness he had unleashed, but he knew all he could do was wait to see how it evolved.

_Let it not be a repeat of Yeul_, he prayed silently. _I cannot be a Guardian to yet another_.

Not that Lightning needed a Guardian at all. She had needed an ally, and received one in him. Was he the best she could have hoped for? Hardly, but at least he could actually help her.

The door to the dressing room finally opened with a creak of hinges; Caius rose from his position on the steps and turned to see Lightning striding out. For a moment, he could only stare – she was a vision, fitting the image of the Liberator legend, dressed in a flowing multilayer mint-green dress that reflected the light in shimmering waves and bared her shoulders to the cool night air. The neckline formed a very narrow vee below her clavicle that plunged about six inches before terminating at an embroidered flower pattern. The flower pattern followed the edges of the dress, the gold thread sparkling in the festival's colorful light displays.

"They said the purple clashed too much with my hair," she muttered, oblivious to his stare. "Too pink. But they said mint green worked. I don't know, I'm not fashion-minded at all. So, uh, what do _you_ think?" Raising arms adorned in elbow-length white satin gloves, she turned completely around once.

Caius found his voice. "You look–" When her eyes found his again, the stoic expression and stern eyes daring him to say one wrong word, he quickly considered what would be most appropriate for the situation. "–perfect for the role," he finished, relieved she didn't seem to notice his hesitation. _Beautiful_, he wanted to say, as an objective measurement, but something told him to hold that particular word in check.

"Good." She raised a hand and tugged on her hair, done in a loose braid and bound with three pinkish flowers with bright green stems. When she passed him, taking the stairs one careful step at a time, their scent wafted in her wake and momentarily caught his attention. Feeling briefly lightheaded, he glanced at her back and realized most of it was bare, edged with the same golden thread that embroidered the front. "You ready?"

"As I can ever be," he assured her. "Where is your armor?"

She gestured with one hand. "Secure, away from the statue. I'll change back into it once it hits the ground." She gave him a small smirk. "Let's go check on the director. We're only minutes away from starting the show. I'm sure it's one nobody's gonna forget."

People stared and murmured as she passed, though she kept her head up and eyes fixed ahead. Caius walked a step behind her, at her shoulder, occasionally meeting the stares with a sidelong and impassive glance. No one seemed willing to gaze back for too long.

"I'm ready to take the stage," Lightning told the director as she approached, in her most businesslike tone.

Sarzhak folded his arms and raised both eyebrows. "Huh, would ya look at _that_. You really _do_ clean up nicely. Go figure." He lowered both arms. "Well, you two, get over there and hang tight. The fireworks are lined up and all the staff I _trust_ have been warned what's gonna happen. The audience is also pushed back a bit further than usual. There should be no casualties."

Lightning stared at him. "What do you mean, 'casualties'?"

"What, you didn't think I'd notice? It's _my_ show. I've been running it for _years_, and you didn't think I'd notice those fireworks you gathered would be enough to topple the statue? _Hah_!" He extended his arm to point right at her face. "My, my, my. Staff I can replace, but audience members, well, I _can't_, so I did my best to make sure nobody dies. Unlike you, apparently. Reckless girl." He shook his head. "Well, you ready?"

"Certainly." Lightning nodded. "Are you?"

Sarzhak smirked at her in response.

At the top of the hour, the crowd, which had been jostling for position, suddenly quieted. After the clock struck three, the entire plaza went completely silent. Caius waited at the corner of a tall building above the plaza, watching the proceedings from a perch high above all of it, and saw a section of ground at the base of the statue suddenly turn white from spotlight and a mist go rolling across. A single figure strode out of the mist, his arms upheld; Caius stayed in the shadow and watched, waiting for his cue.

"My dear ladies and gentlemen," the figure called out, loud and clear, "welcome! I have told this story, as you know, hundreds of times now, but _never_ before has it been told quite like this! I want you to see, to _believe_, that which is about to unfold – a spectacular vision of color and light as you have _never_ seen it before." The last word came in a near-whisper, and Sarzhak, who had changed out of his striped suit into a black one that sparkled in the light, bent at the waist, spreading his arms, and backing out of view.

From either side came a dozen dancers in elaborate costumes, and as the mist cleared, they performed a series of swift, synchronized movements that reminded him of gorgons on the prowl on Gran Pulse. Beads and tiny gems sparkled like stars; strange shadows flitted across the ground in flickers of pale gray. They ended their parade by extending their arms upward, toward a small stage partway up the statue, striking poses that accentuated the length and the many elaborate curves of their costumes.

It was to be, after all, their final performance before the world's end.

The announcer's voice rang out from the speakers hidden all around the plaza. "My Liberator," he said, "hear me now. Come forth and become my sword!"

From the shadows cast by the play of light came Lightning, rising from a crouched position and brandishing a rapier with an elaborate rose corsage at the hilt. In the light, she shone and sparkled with the sort of dazzling beauty that befitted the spectacle of the stage, drawing gasps and sounds of awe from the audience. Hope had promised to feed her the lines, since she simply had no time to memorize them, and so when she spoke, she put into her voice the sort of authority and strength he would expect of Bhunivelze's Liberator.

"Radiant Bhunivelze," she called out, "I have heard your voice and step out with courage in your name. With me as your sword, your light shall cleave the darkness." With a flourish of the rapier, the blade sputtered a flame that she used to light the candles that surrounded her on the stage. "Against the greatest odds this world can cast at me, I will conquer even the deepest of the dark."

All around the base of the statue, multicolored spotlights shone upward. The bright yellow ones dimmed, and great jets of flame momentarily erupted to cast sharp-edged cones of light across the woman's features. The noise of the crowd was deafening for a moment.

The narrator broke in then, his voice booming over the assembly as he spoke new lines that had been added in just that night. "The Liberator, Bhunivelze's chosen, whose strength and courage shall lead the chosen few out of the chaotic darkness. Her journey has been one filled with strife – a great battle to save a forgotten world a millennium ago, and an endless war in a chaotic realm to save all from a worse fate."

Caius felt his body tense, anticipating his cue. Sarzhak had given explicit instructions to both of them to put a bit of stage persona into their actions. Years ago, he had learned to temper his emotions and restrain his passionate heart; it would feel strange, and dangerous, to do the opposite now. He would need to be careful to balance restraint with the more exciting stage persona Sarzhak had demanded of them.

"The Liberator has battled long and hard. All of you must know the story of the Destroyer!"

Right on cue, he instantly appeared on a second stage, higher up, and at the same time, a ring of fire lit the candles as he landed in a crouched position, feeling a little absurd but deciding to give the audience their money's worth. As he rose, gasps of shock rose from the crowd before they applauded briefly. With a flick of one hand, he turned the flames from yellow to blue and purple, casting a strange light, and looked at Lightning.

When she looked up and met his gaze, she nodded faintly.

As he extended a hand, fingers open, his sword appeared in his hand, the grooved handle feeling familiar in his grip. A single whipsnap-quick movement, slinging the blade around to hold it behind his back, angled out, sent the flames fluttering all around him, before he leapt off the stage and down toward her.

The rapier, despite being for show, was stout, and landed with a _clang_ against his sword. The crowd went wild, their applause and obvious pleasure at the twist filling the air. The narrator continued, speaking of a lengthy war and long nights of "blood and battle", as the two fell into a familiar but non-lethal rhythm, more of a dance than a battle, in the narrow space afforded them by the stage.

As she frowned in concentration, he did his best to follow her lead. There was no set choreography, but she seemed to have settled on movements that echoed their previous war, and for a moment, he could feel the familiar surge of adrenaline, honed by millennia of warfare, coursing through his still-living veins.

For a moment, he felt more alive than he had in five centuries.

"Their endless war consumed the timeline!" the narrator continued; Lightning suddenly dug in and backflipped to a floating platform slightly above them, landing with enviable grace. She straightened, again brandishing her flaming rapier, and Caius watched from below in a battle stance, waiting for the next cue.

"The sea of chaos has consumed all," she said, her voice amplified by the mic hidden in her hair. "Let's see how you _burn_!" Punctuating the word, she lit the candles, and they exploded into flames, casting a bright yellow light. The platform began to move upward, but slowly. She had not yet triggered the final act.

Bathed in colorful stage lights and strange flames, Caius moved again, easily leaping from the first stage to the next platform, and suddenly the platform plunged into darkness.

Lightning growled; he said, "Hold on."

"But after the darkness consumed the world, circumstances changed, and the path of history was altered! As the last days approached, even the Liberator could not conquer the darkness alone!" The light returned, in the form of a single spotlight shining down from above. Her dress sparkled brilliantly. "Though she has been given great power, an even greater darkness churned over the horizon. The Destroyer brings the night, but the Liberator shall conquer even that night, for an instant, to shed instead the glorious, purifying light!"

Caius nearly rolled his eyes at the poetic nonsense before leaping backward to a platform even higher up, nearer the final trigger, the sword vanishing in a flicker of chaos. As she leapt up to him, the lights followed her, tracing her movement up the statue until they were both once again bathed in an orange glow. As she came at him, he grasped her outstretched hand, let her momentum sweep her along the floor of the platform, the skirts of the dress billowing out and sparkling like diamonds, and sling herself upright. To keep her on the platform and balanced, he had to pull her slightly toward him, until she was within inches.

For a moment, her grip tightened on his hand and her eyes widened slightly. He could feel the slender shape of her fingers, the strength of her grip when she clasped his tight to keep from sailing right off the platform. In that brief moment, she had absolutely trusted him not to let her fall, and he had kept her secure, easily maintaining both his balance and hers. She was a little lighter than he expected.

It was the first time their hands had ever touched. Certainly her fist had collided with his jaw or he had grasped her neck to throw her into a wall, but their hands had _never_ before touched, and certainly in no manner akin to this. For a brief moment in time, they were not enemies, but comrades, and nothing mattered except the brief bond of trust they had formed in this one simple movement.

Shining in the light, her eyes came up to his and locked their gazes, her mouth set firmly, but her eyes, though anxious, seemed softer than normal.

This was not a look meant to challenge. It was unlike any he had even seen from her.

From stages drenched in shadow came performers and dancers dressed in dark silver costumes. The two made a show of fighting them off, moving in tandem. Caius had fought her so much and for so long that he knew how she moved, how her steps landed, how she shifted her weight, and fit his movements to the gaps in hers. From the way the crowd cheered, he knew the illusion of a single entity was good enough.

"And so the world burns," she said, and as the last shadow dancer was dispatched, she turned her rapier to the final trigger and lit the candle that would set off the climax.

Right on cue, fireworks soared, hissing into the air and exploding too close to the statue. He could feel the heat against his exposed skin, felt the sudden loss of structural integrity before he heard the _crunch_ of metal. The world began to move upward; Caius watched the crowd go from fascinated to horrified.

"I was made to serve Bhunivelze," she said, her body shifting to maintain balance on the tipping platform. "He promised to restore to me what has been stolen. But if he _lies_ to me–" Springing to the top of the statue, closely followed by Caius, and perching atop the stylized head of the angelic being, she raised her flaming rapier and glared down at the crowd. "–then _he dies_!" The rapier pierced the head of the being at her feet, the metal cracking into many pieces and suddenly shattering.

And just like that, the show was over, and the statue crushed the palace wall beneath its weight, sending a massive cloud of dust swirling into the air.

And the world fell silent but for the panicked cries of the audience.

* * *

It was too dangerous in Luxerion now. The guards had seen his face. So Noel ran, away from the cathedral, dodging bayonets and bullets, deep into the darkness, until he realized that they were searching for him _everywhere_. They even went into the Warren, normally considered far too filthy for the purity of the Order to tread. Forced to make quick choices, he found a hooded jacket someone had discarded and replaced most of his threadbare outer clothes with it, ignoring the stench the permeated the fabric and stains he didn't dare think about. He left the clothes in a dumpster, bundled tight, and again, he ran.

No longer safe in his home of so many centuries, he cut through the graveyard, avoiding the strange creatures that prowled in the darkness. On the other side was the highway that linked Luxerion with the Wildlands, but the gate on it had been sealed tight long ago and the lock was badly rusted.

No matter. Noel scrambled up the rocky cliff next to the gate, gouging handholds with his swords until the blades chipped, and sprang right over. He landed too hard on the far side, rolling with the impact; it left him dizzy for a few long moments. When it passed, he stood, listened briefly to the sounds of pursuit in the distance, and jogged off into the shadows, returning the chipped and worn blades to their crossed position on his back. He knew this road ended at the Wildlands, and that a short distance away was a road that would take him to the Dead Dunes, but his plan was to jump on the monorail in the Wildlands and ride it to Yusnaan.

He had not been to the Wildlands since the chaos had come. Once Academia had been infected by chaos and the temple had appeared, those left on Gran Pulse – himself, Hope, Sazh and Dajh, and the soon-to-reappear Snow – had escaped the airship after it crashed on the city outskirts and wandered around a while. Everyone else in Academia had been evacuated to the New Cocoon, and the only people left behind had been some individuals living far away from it, on farms or in little towns, who either had not heeded or not heard of the imminent demise of Cocoon.

The temple was still there, he now knew for sure.

He walked without seeing for a time into the deep dark of the night. Once he left solid ground and began to cross the sea, the sounds changed from that of the city to that of crickets and cicadas. The air had been dry in Luxerion, but it slowly grew humid, as well as warmer. After about half an hour of walking, he peeled off the hooded shirt and a shirt beneath it, leaving him in a short-sleeved top, pants, and shoes that he had bartered for by slaying a whole lot of monsters for an elderly man in the high-class quarter of the city.

To his surprise, he encountered nothing more than some rodents and small monsters mutated by the chaos, resulting in them being balls of wire-like fur, a pair of tentacles ending in feelers, and large eyes clearly designed for a nocturnal lifestyle. They were easily dispatched. He walked for what felt like hours, long enough to see the stars move a little, before finally emerging into a noisy outcrop with a ceiling of stars, surrounded by so many singing insects that he felt as though he would go mad.

The Wildlands stretched before him for miles, and above it all, glowing in the darkness, were the broken spires of the temple still piercing the heavens.

Noel hesitated, staring at the spires, his mind reeling at the sight. That temple had existed in Valhalla for an untold amount of time. Legends of the Farseers told that it had been built by Etro to imprison some ancient enemy that had been long forgotten. Rumors persisted that the temple had existed longer than the mortal realm.

But he did not care about those ancient tales. All he cared about was that Yeul – _his_ Yeul – was in there, somewhere, trapped in the chaos with the others.

And if he kept walking, a little longer, he would reach it. Reach _her_.

Reluctantly, he pointed his feet toward the monorail station and began to walk, staying close to the granite cliffs and dodging trees branches. What he wanted more than anything was to see Yeul, partly to assure himself that she was real, that she was still alive, but he knew better than to just go off into the darkness looking for her. Besides, wasn't there some legend about how only the Liberator could reach the cliffs that surrounded the temple?

In Yusnaan, he could disappear. The crowds would shield him.

Noel's steps stuttered as he walked.

But there was a gang of bandits in the Dead Dunes. Members of the Order who had abandoned the teachings had even taken up residence there if they didn't go to the Wildlands instead. Would he be better as a bandit living in arduous lands, or a scurrying vermin trying to live off slim pickings in the city?

Noel stopped, taking a minute to be surrounded by starry skies and nighttime shadows, letting the sounds of the night absorb into him. Well, he was used to living in unfriendly lands.

His steps turned west again, taking him toward the road that linked the Wildlands to the Dead Dunes. He moved as quiet as possible, staying low to the ground and keeping to the shadows, avoiding the various beasts he saw even if he had to skirt them at a significant distance. At one point, he spotted a pair of behemoths fighting over a fresh kill, their steps landing hard enough to cause thunderous rumbles that shook the shale around him. Too engrossed in each other, they ignored him, and he darted past as fast as he could. The smell of fresh blood turned the air putrid while flies began to investigate. Only when he was a good distance away did he breathe again.

"Where do you think _you're_ going, huh?"

Noel hissed through his teeth and whirled on the voice. His sword came out at the same instant to point right at the girl's face, but she only giggled, her eyes shining from the starlight.

"I'm done with your games, Lumina," he growled at her, hoping to make it clear he had no interest in her.

"Yeul's right up in that temple, you know," she said with a shrug. "Remember? The girl you loved so much that you were prepared to kill Lightning to see again? It's not so bad at night. You could get there if you _really_ wanted. Don't you want to see her again?"

Despite the tightening of his chest at her words, he did not waver. "I don't trust you. How do I know you didn't get that Oracle Drive to just show me what I wanted?"

"I did," she said, this time with a verbal shrug. "What? Didn't think I'd admit it so readily?"

Noel forced his mouth closed again. "Look, I have nothing to say to you. As far as I'm concerned, you lied to me and made me crazier than I already was. I don't have _any_ interest in what you've got to say."

As he turned away, she said, "It brought you to Lightning."

"I don't care, Lumina."

"So I had a little fun with you. Lighten up!" She laughed, and he resisted the very strong urge to shush her. Those behemoths were still back there, and he had a feeling that if they came, she would just vanish, while he would be left to deal with them on his own. "Look, it wasn't anything _serious_. I mean, I _knew_ you didn't have it in you to kill her. It was a… think of it like a test, okay? And you passed!"

"That was _my_ life you played with." It took great effort to maintain his calm. Blowing up would only give her the gratification of seeing him lose this strange battle they were now fighting. "Doing what you did was cruel. I don't trust you, and I doubt I ever would again. So leave me alone and go play with someone else."

There was a pause as he walked away, and he thought he had finally gotten through, but then she appeared in front of him, forcing him to stop to avoid running right into her.

"Yeul's right up there in that temple. Remember, she's as much a prisoner as Caius is. What, you think that if you behave yourself, be a good little Noel, and promise to never, ever step on Bhunivelze's toes again, all of this will just vanish and she'll be safe in your arms?" She punctuated that with a laugh that sent chills down his spine. "Silly little boy! Life doesn't work that way. You're not getting her back, so you may as well say what needs to be said now before it's too late."

Noel stared at her. Though he had understood she was trapped, the full weight of that truth did not hit him until now. "She has to," he said, and even to his own ears he sounded meek and childish. "I won't go on without her. Not if I don't have to. She _has_ to make it to the new world."

"Caius won't. None of the other girls will. I can _assure_ you." Clasping her hands behind her back, she gave him a wide smile. "Have you ever told her you love her, huh? Have you ever assured her that you care and your heart is all hers, and it always will be? Did you tell her that if you have to live without her, anyone else you find won't ever fill the void in your heart, and you'll be no better than a Cie'th caught–"

"_No_!" he cried, barely stifling his voice enough to keep from catching the behemoths' attention. "I… I haven't told her _anything_. And she wouldn't want me to exist without love."

"Maybe you should get closure _now_."

"No. She said we'd see each other again. It was practically a _promise_."

Lumina laughed at him, but her eyes gleamed cruelly in the starlight. "When do _you_ think you'll see her again, then, Noel? You must have _some_ idea."

He opened his mouth, and suddenly realized he had nothing at all to say. When was he expecting to see her? In the new world? At the end of this one? During a dream, or a nightmare? Some random encounter like she had given him at the site of the destroyed Oracle Drive? Disappointed in himself, he hung his head, staring at the ground without really seeing it, wishing that he had not suffered defeat once more.

"Maybe she meant you to come see her," Lumina murmured. "You're so close to her now. Why don't you visit the temple before you continue on to the desert, get some closure?"

_Don't listen_, his mind screamed, but he raised his head and looked right at her. "I should."

The girl's features were expressionless as she turned away. As the breeze carried her away in a wisp of chaos, he glanced over at the glowing spires of the temple, feeling something tug him that direction. It was as though there was a voice that sang to his heart, pleading with him to follow, enticing him with promises of paradise. And to him, there was no paradise where Yeul did not exist.

He took two more, sensible steps toward the desert, but then Lumina's words, still echoing in his head, stirred his heart, overruling his desperate mind, and he turned back and began to run.

* * *

_Sorry about the wait on this one, I got a huge block after the scene in Yusnaan and wasn't sure how to transition, until Noel's little sideplot came to mind. Lumina has many new toys to play with now that the timeline isn't proceeding as originally planned, doesn't she? Anyway, next chapter, we visit Snow's palace, but I would encourage you not to expect it to follow the game. Many, **many** things are going to start swerving away from canon, more and more, going forward, so stay tuned. It should be interesting._

_So far, this story looks like it'll be longer than "Hearts in Chaos" was. Like that story, I already have the ending and major plot elements mapped out, so really, the trick so far has been to a) keep a good pace, b) keep the narrative interesting, and c) stop running into blocks._


	21. Thine Heart is a Gate

_**20 Thine Heart is a Gate**_

It was bitterly cold in the hallway leading to the Patron's quarters, cold enough that Cora could see her breath in front of her face as a pale fog. Shivering despite the heavy armor, her arms folded tight, she listened to the sound of her own heart and breath, heels clicking on the cold marble floor. The sad blue lights coloring the halls were her sole companions, and the faint scent of chaos hung in the air. No one dared venture so near the Patron's quarters, not in these latter days. In fact, his quarters had been more or less off-limits for decades.

The door to his quarters was closed and locked, with no light visible around it. Still shivering, she raised a hand and knocked. It sounded meek in the silence; she gathered her courage and knocked again.

From inside came the Patron's voice. "What do you want?"

Cora recoiled as though bitten, wanting to slink away at the tone. "I've come to deliver a message, my lord," she murmured. "May I be allowed inside?"

"You can deliver it through the door."

"No, my lord," she said, mustering all her courage. "I cannot."

There were a few moments of silence, and then she heard the door unlatch. With a trembling hand, she pushed on it, and it swung inward silently. Thick shadows greeted her; she swallowed as she stepped over the threshold. Though she knew it childish, she did not dare close the door behind her. It would be her lone escape should something with her Patron go horribly awry. Not that it would, she reasoned, chiding herself on her silliness, but she could not shake the steady-growing fight-or-flight within her.

"Stop right there," came his voice from somewhere in the shadows. She squinted, but though light came in through the sliding glass door leading to the balcony, he did not stand anywhere near it. The shining marbled floors plunged into blackness on either side of the spill of light brightening the single plush red carpet.

"My lord," she said, steadying her voice with great effort, "the Grand Statue of Bhunivelze has been toppled and the outer wall smashed open. Two figures were seen entering."

"Entering the grounds? Who witnessed it?"

Cora swallowed. Not knowing where he was frightened her. "Ju– just a few guards, and… a– and…" Why was she so frightened? What was there to be frightened of? Just because his voice _seemed_ disembodied by the darkness did not mean it actually _was_. Besides, her Patron had never harmed a single citizen. Reclusiveness did not equal danger. Swallowing, she said, more clearly, "And some of the performers in the play. It appears also that the Director has made himself scarce. No one has been able to find him."

"Find him," the man's voice demanded on her. "You know what will be done when you do."

"My lord," she said mechanically, but her stomach tightened. "As for the intruders, what shall be done about them? Shall we dispatch a containment team and–"

When next his spoke, his voice was low, animalistic. "No," he said. "Let them come for me. I'll deal with this little insurrection myself." There was a pause; she waited, knowing he meant to say more. "Was… there a pink-haired woman? Was she one of the intruders?"

"Yes, my lord," she murmured. "How did you know?"

Now the Patron chuckled. "She'd come back for me. She wouldn't miss this chance." The amusement drained away, and he said, "Who else was with her?"

"The guards reported a man, my lord," she said. "Tall, with shoulder-length dark hair."

"That could fit a thousand people, though who it would be with _her_, who can tell." When the silence fell, she realized she couldn't even hear him _breathing_. No sound at all but the beating of her own heart, quickening slowly the longer she stood and waited. "Give 'em a few obstacles for kicks, but nothing that could turn them away."

"My lord," she said, and bowed at the waist. "If there is nothing else, I will go."

Silence greeted her. She gave the regulation turn on her heel and began to stride away, crushing the instinct to _run_ for the door. Having the Patron's voice coming at her from the darkness frightened her enough, but to have it at her back would be terrifying. The sad blue lights seemed to reach out for her, welcoming, promising her safety if she could just escape the endless shadows at her back.

"Core, isn't it?" Suddenly his voice was at her shoulder; she froze midstride, the hair on her arms, already prickling in the cold, abruptly standing on end. Her throat tightened, trying to swallow and gasp at the same time, and she did not dare turn her head to look. "You've always been a good soldier."

Her throat was too tight to speak, so she nodded instead. _Go_, her mind screamed at her. _Run_.

The silence went on, and then he said, "Dismissed."

Cora's feet could not carry her fast enough away from the Patron in the darkness.

* * *

As the soldier's steps retreated – much too quickly – down the hallway, the Patron moved away from the shadows enough to shut the door again and lock it tight. In the thick silence that followed, he stood at the door, the black clothes donning him from shoulders to ankles causing him to blend in with the darkness. A pink-haired woman and a dark-haired man. Who on Pulse could Lightning be running with in this land?

Was the Liberator not to come alone, shed light into the darkest places, and bring hope to the lost on her own?

Avoiding the light, he moved away to the bed and stared at it a moment. The sheets were thrown asunder, some of them spilling onto the floor, the pillows in disarray. None of it looked the least bit tempting to him, not that he had slept well for decades. In the past few weeks, he'd slept barely at all.

His eyes moved to the nightstand, where his engagement pendant had been yanked from his neck, the chain broken and lying crookedly on the polished wood carved out of a sweet-smelling tree.

He couldn't even speak _her_ name anymore.

Knowing there was little else to do for the moment, he sank down on the bed and covered his face with both hands. He did not cry, for he had done enough of that for many lifetimes. He did not lie back, for he had done that many evenings already. He just sat there, eyes closed and staring into the welcoming blackness, for a very long time, until he lost track of time and lost himself in the silence, as he had for years already.

The scent of chaos in the air became more pungent; he sat bolt upright and dropped his hands. The air did not change otherwise, but he felt a strange, ethereal sort of chill come to it. Breathing deep, then holding his breath, he waited for something to happen. Nothing seemed to.

Frowning, he looked back at the floor between his boots and drifted away again.

"You want to know who's with her, don't you, my lord?"

The Patron's eyes flicked to the newcomer, and he felt an instinctive flash of wariness in his blood. The girl stood in the shadows with her back to the light, outlined in darkness with her hip cocked, but he could see her eyes somehow, staring at him, seeming to twinkle despite the void her body formed.

"You are not welcome here," he told her.

"Your curiosity sang through the chaos, and I happened to hear it. That's all." The girl spoke softly, barely above a whisper, the rasp of her voice like the whisper of wind through grass in the quiet. She shifted her weight; he heard her clothing rustle with the movement. "Do you wanna know who it is?"

The Patron did not immediately answer. The girl had proven herself sly and unpredictable, yet oddly endearing, her playfulness mixed with her eerie mischievousness setting him on edge. Some of the palace staff loved her, but more made themselves scarce or on guard when her presence came. She had only been in his life for thirteen years, yet he always felt as though he had known her a lifetime.

"You're only going to tell me things I'll find out in a short while." Rising, he flexed the fingers of both hands before he glanced at the brand on his arm. It ached and burned, the eye fully formed, and beneath his skin he felt as though somehow had crushed glass into powder and deposited it in his flesh. "I'm going to confront her. I'll find out soon enough who it is. Might as well make yourself scarce."

"Oh, Snow, poor Snow," her sweetly condescending voice murmured to him, "your heart couldn't take it. Oh, but I guess you'll just have to deal with it."

He gave a bitter laugh. "What's it matter? I'm gonna die anyway."

"So you'd rather die with a sword through your heart as Lightning mercifully ends your suffering, or of the madness brought on by a completely destroyed heart as your body twists into crystals and you die a Cie'th?"

Snow snorted at her. "I have better things to do right now."

"But she betrayed us, you know. She betrayed _all_ of us. Even her own sister."

Though he didn't want to give her the satisfaction of knowing she had won, he felt his steps stutter all the same as those words fell from her lips. "Who, Lightning? What you mean she 'betrayed' us? The _last_ thing she would betray is her sister's memory. It's too important to her, you know that."

"Then why would she decide to accept her sister's murderer as her most trusted ally?"

Snow practically heard his world shatter around him and his heart turn cold and beat icy blood as Lumina's words began to sink in. _Murderer_. "She… wouldn't," he said, but his voice cracked, unable to bear the weight of the truth. The pieces fell in place. _Tall, with shoulder-length dark hair_. "She wouldn't… dare. And he's _dead_."

Lumina walked closer. "No, he isn't. He's alive, and he rules the chaos eating away at the world. That Liberator coming to save us? She's working with him."

Snow felt as though he were choking. "She can't. I don't believe you."

"Well, if you don't believe me, why don't you go down there, meet them face to face, and find out for yourself? You can face Serah's murderer. Then, once _he_ goes down…" She giggled and twirled with her arms held out at her sides as he stared blankly, not comprehending. "…you can _finally_ see her again. Her blessed blade will pierce your heart and send you into the welcoming oblivion at last."

The brand on his arm began to burn hotter; fighting a spark of panic, he focused on keeping his adrenaline down. To become a Cie'th _now_ would not befit his end. He _had_ to be in his right mind when he saw Lightning for the last time, and some part of him wanted to feel the cold steel when it split his chest in two, even if his skin had begun to crystallize when she at last landed the final blow and ended his pain.

"She can't," he panted out. "She can't. She can't. She can't." _Murderer. Murderer. Serah's murderer. Lightning is with him. Murderer. Killer. Destroyer_. "I'll kill him. I'll _kill_ him."

Lumina's eyes seemed to glow. "Sounds like you got it all together, huh?"

He recalled an ancient saying, of how revenge left one's soul empty, but there was crystal ash in his flesh and a hole where his heart should have been. Soon, he would be dead, his body left to be swallowed up by the chaos, and it would no longer matter. Soon, Serah would welcome him in the afterlife, whatever it was like. He wouldn't live long enough to find out if the saying was true.

Turning on his heel, he marched out, and thought he heard Lumina laughing.

* * *

In the huge audience hall of the palace, the chandelier still perched atop its crystal pillar, sparkling in the light of the moon and stars and soft ambience, casting an icy blue glow to keep back the shadows. For a long minute, Lightning just stood in its shadow, staring up and thinking it looked so much like the crystallized Cocoon from long ago. The memory made her chuckle bitterly as she recalled standing in _its_ shadow, unable to believe that the miracle of a new life had befallen them, and all had been made right again.

The chaos in the air all around her shifted and rippled as though she stood on the ocean floor. Chilled, she flexed her fingers at her side and looked all around. Caius stood close by, his back partially to her, but alert, staring into the distance with his chin up and shoulders back.

"What do you see?" she asked of him, voice low. It carried easily in the silence.

He did not answer for a time, but she knew all was right when the lines of his body visibly relaxed and he looked at her with a nod. In the glow of the crystal, his hair shone like strands of silver, a strange contrast to the oppressive chaos that pressed up against her whenever he stood close to her.

"There appears to be few obstacles in our path," he said, moving closer now, "but the chaos becomes thicker the deeper we go. It is almost as thick as the temple grounds."

Lightning felt her skin prickle. "Chaos is part of our humanity. It can manifest as desires of the heart."

"It often reflects the heart," he said. "Snow's is in turmoil."

A flicker of emotion danced around the void where her heart used to be. "It may not be such a good idea to bring you with me," she said in a sudden flash of insight. "Everyone who knows about you knows you were responsible for the coming of the chaos. Maybe he was fine when Noel last worked with him, but…" Shaking her head, she sighed deeply. "Caius, I'm serious. You should go."

Before he spoke, she saw the answer etched on his features and in the hardness of his eyes. "I am not leaving, not when you are traveling through such a dangerous place."

"I can handle myself," she said with an unintentional snarl to her words.

"I understand that, Lightning," he said, very calmly. "However, you know our agreement. You will make no more attempts to turn me from your side again. You recall this."

Lightning looked away from him, wishing she had _not_ agreed to those terms. Trying not to think of the effect Caius's presence would have on the brokenhearted Snow, she moved away from the crystal monument and crossed the massive ballroom to one of the branching hallways hidden beneath the balcony's overhang. It was so quiet that she heard her own heart thudding in her ears, while her breath seemed raspy and loud.

As they exited the ballroom and ascended the carpeted stairs, their footfalls went silent and the walls seemed to swallow all other sound. She dared not even breathe as she climbed the stairs into the shadows above. Though the huge picture windows adorning the north wall of the ballroom let in the nighttime light and she saw the fireworks going off in the distance, it only fell so far inward before giving way to darkness.

The air grew chillier the farther they climbed, and up on the balcony, it was noticeably cooler, the scent of chaos stronger, than only a short distance below her feet.

"Something's wrong," she whispered as Caius came up beside her. "Do you feel it?"

He exhaled quietly. "I do."

As she walked briskly toward the hallway she had gone down the first time she had come here, she sensed a ripple in the darkness and braced herself. During that first evening, huge bipedal monsters had stormed from the chaos and wreaked havoc before she and Snow had dispatched them, shortly before turning on each other. While they appeared to lumber about, they had slung their axes with great, ruthless speed and, had she not had the benefit of Bhunivelze's blessing, she could have easily been cleaved in two.

Nerves tingling, she moved faster, seeing Caius close at her side, and for a moment, she felt a twinge of instinct at the familiar sight of his long strides. This man was her _ally_.

"Lightning–" was all he managed before the ambient chaos suddenly cracked open and a beast, towering over them both, stepped out in shimmering gold and swung a gilded axe. Lightning gasped while Caius reacted first, stopping the axe on his sword. Using the brief opening that resulted, she slashed with her sword at the creature's side and tore open its hide. Chaos gushed out and made the air reek. Caius's sword vanished from view, then reappeared beneath the creature's narrow snout and rammed the cruel-looking tip into its flesh. Lightning sprang at it from the side and gouged her blade in, over and over, until chaos spewed out in all directions.

Making a strangled grunting sound, it swung blindly and sent both of them toppling over the balcony rail. Lightning had a moment of clarity, realizing she was plummeting toward a marble floor, right before she struck and the impact rattled every bone and made colors spray across her vision.

In her ear, Hope's voice, garbled from the presence of the chaos, pleaded with her to stand. In the other ear, Caius's voice cut through the ringing and ordered her to her feet.

Battling her mortality, she swung her legs under her and stood up in time to see the creature land right in front of her and swing its axe. Wounded, its movements clumsy, it still struck with wicked speed, and she barely sprang out of the way as the axe split the marble with a mighty _crack_. She slammed her broken sword on its knuckles, eliciting a loud _huff_ from its snout as it released the axe.

Another of the creatures, this one unhurt, landed behind them, and she hissed her disapproval before scrambling out of the way again. The axe whistled over her head and struck Caius's sword with enough force to send him stumbling back, off-balance and with a look of irritation on his face. Again it swung, while the wounded creature picked up its axe and came after her again.

Quickly sizing it up, she ducked to avoid its swing again, kicked off the blade before it lifted it, and cut its knee with the sharp, broken corner of the blade. Chaos gushed out; she dodged the spray. Summoning some of her strength, she moved, fast as her namesake, to the creature's opposite side and slashed open its back. At the same time, Caius landed a similar blow, making his quarry give a strangled howl of agony.

The bipedal beast fell to one knee and struggled to stand; Lightning glanced over to see how Caius was doing, but he had done away with his sword and now struck the creature in the face with a powerful blast of purple energy that sent it toppling onto its back. Its axe hit the ground with a noisy _clang_; Lightning gritted her teeth and swung her sword backward, ramming it into the wounded creature's knee. As the other beast struggled to stand, Caius came to her side, and together they knocked the wounded beast to the ground, where Lightning delivered the final blow by splitting the creature in half with her blade. An explosion of chaos ripped open the air as its body dissipated into purplish light and vanished.

She turned to find Caius already busy decimating the second beast, coming forward in time to see him smash the monster's head into the ground with his sword as it tried to stand. As it lay there, struggling to stand again with its head gushing chaos, he put it out of its misery, neatly severing its head from its neck. Chaos spouted from the body through this newly-opened orifice before becoming light as the other did.

"I would expect more welcomes such as this," Caius said as his sword again vanished. "This palace reeks of chaos, and from what I can sense, it shall only become worse."

"Worse, as we go further in, right?" She shook her head. "Could Snow really have caused all this chaos?"

He tilted his head. "Does his heart not ache for Serah?"

"It more than aches," she admitted. "From what I understand, as the years have gone on, he's become so broken up about her that he spends days in seclusion and doesn't even really come out except for the most energetic occasions of revelry." She sighed and rubbed her forehead with one hand. "You shouldn't come."

There was silence for a time. "You truly believe that?"

Her eyes fell to the mighty crack in the floor, then came back to Caius's expressionless features. His dark eyes glowed faintly in the soft blue-white light, hair shimmering with the faintness of movement that accompanied his breathing. Snow had to know by now who was responsible for Serah's death. Noel had made it clear that Snow had never blamed _him_ for her sister's death, and she knew, from her own time in Valhalla, that Snow, trapped in the Coliseum, _knew_ what had been going on all up and down the timeline.

He knew who to blame for his fiance's death.

"Snow _knows_ you did this. I have no idea how he'll react to seeing you, and I _have_ to bring him back to our side. Otherwise, when Bhunivelze brings Serah back, she won't be able to meet him." Feeling her head swim slightly, she pressed the heel of one palm to it and closed her eyes. Now that the adrenaline was wearing off, she began to feel the effects of landing so hard. "It might make him impossible to save."

After a few moments, she lowered her hand and opened her eyes to see Caius standing right next to her and looking her right in the eye. "Allow me at least to accompany you there. I will do as I did with Noel once we arrive and wait in the shadows, unless you need me."

"I need to be the judge of 'needing' you, get it?" she said. "No more jumping between us, like you did with Noel. Just stay on the sidelines for now. This is more important than you know."

"Believe me, Lightning, when I say that I _do_ know."

Something about the weight of his words made her hesitate, but rather than dwell on it, she turned away, briskly striding back to the staircase and ascending again. This time, they proceeded without incident to the far side, where a narrower staircase led deeper into the complex. The air grew stale and thick with chaos, the ambient lights casting long, sad shadows behind them as they moved. The sounds of their breathing and movement grew more subdued, swallowed by the walls that somehow absorbed instead of deflected sound. The progression of narrow hallways and cramped storage rooms seemed to go on for miles, and yet despite the ever-present chaos, no other monsters came for them as they traveled.

Aware of a slow descent, she felt her nerves fraying the further down they went. Caius hovered always behind her and said nothing, but she developed a strong sense of unease. "There's nothing down here, no more monsters, _nothing_," she muttered out the side of her mouth to him.

"Not entirely correct," he said, but before he could clarify and before she had the chance to ask what he meant by that, there came to them a sound, echoing off the walls and making the hallway sound like an amphitheater. It was a quiet sound, one that would be soothing had it not been for the context. It was the sound of someone humming – a girl's voice, moreover – very close by, softly, and it happened to be a tune she recognized.

Her brow furrowed, and she stopped dead in her tracks, feet planted in a soldier's stance with her heels together.

Caius also stopped at her shoulder and made no sound.

The tune was one she knew very well, she soon realized – a soft, sweet tune, but the way it wandered down the hall without an echo turned it from soothing to eerie.

It was Serah's song – the one she hummed to herself to remind herself of hope.

As the humming continued, soft and slow, the sound of boot heels, hammering on the tiled floor, came to them from down the hallway, past the corner. As she drew her sword, a small group of soldiers in heavy armor rounded the corner and immediately began firing. Bullets spewed from the guns and spattered the walls; Lightning dropped to one knee behind her shield and used her sword to protect her face, but a bullet grazed her before she could get down and she felt a sharp pain in the unprotected side of her thigh before her knee hit the floor.

Caius moved before she did, electricity crackling in the air as it turned colder than before, and after the _crack_ of thunder, she looked to see the soldiers sprawled against the walls, barely moving, all groaning, but none dead. He faced her and held out a hand, brow wrinkled; Lightning collapsed her shield and stared at his hand as though it would scald her if she touched it.

"Bravo, bravo, bravo!" came a girl's voice as the humming ended; Lightning turned her head to see Lumina leaning against the wall between two fallen soldiers and clapping gleefully. "I mean, I'm totally _not_ surprised you took them down, Caius – more like, I'm _shocked_ none of 'em are dead!"

More to spite the obnoxious girl than anything, Lightning sized Caius's outstretched hand and allowed him to pull her to her feet in a single smooth motion. When he released her, she looked at Lumina, quickly sizing the girl up and narrowing her eyes. "Back harrassing Snow?" she muttered.

Lumina inspected her fingernails. "Eh, could call it that, I guess." Her eyes flicked up. "You look bored."

"Come on," she murmured, and began to walk, right past the girl, whose expression turned empty. Caius walked close at her side, as close as the narrow hallway would allow, until she grew almost uncomfortably aware of the proximity. At least it no longer bothered her the way it had when he had first joined her. It wasn't until Lumina began to giggle quietly that she felt an echo of anxiety slink through her blood.

"You are bleeding," he said to her in a soft voice.

Her hand absently brushed the bullet wound and a finger discovered a hole punched in the flesh. The inside of the muscle burned like fire, but she could walk on it fine. "Give it time," she said as they entered a large atrium.

"Lightning," he said, even more softly.

She turned her head as she walked to look him in the eye, saying sharply, "It will heal quickly."

Caius's eyes narrowed, but he said nothing more and looked away.

Behind them, Lumina's giggles grew louder, and then she appeared in front of them, twirling and skipping her way down the hallway just like a small child – only, her apparently physical age of preteen made it particularly eerie in Lightning's eyes. "There's be nothing but soldiers down these halls," she said. "How boring, how _drab_. I bet you need some more monsters, huh? Warm you up before you go kill Snow?"

"I'm not _killing_ Snow," Lightning said firmly. "I'm here to save him. You should know that by now."

"Okay. That's why you're bringing Serah's murderer, right?"

Lightning's steps stuttered. "He's helping me."

"Right! And Snow's _totally_ gonna understand that. He'll just go along with your explanation that Caius Ballad, the one who _murdered_ the love of his life, is here to help us. I mean, it makes total sense!" Eyes glittering, she faced Lightning and clasped her hands behind her back. "Ha. Man, you almost had _me_ fooled!"

"Serah will come back to us," she reminded the girl.

"Sure," Lumina said, rocking from side to side. "But that doesn't change the fact that he murdered her in the first place. The past _does_ affect the future, you know."

For a moment, Lightning felt her mind clasp a memory – the image of Serah in Valhalla, staring into the sky, as the symbol of Etro appeared in her eyes, and herself watching helplessly as Noel caught her limp body before it hit the ground and the life leapt from her bones. She had watched her sister die, a casualty of changing the timeline – a journey she never would have had to undertake had it not been for Caius's foolishness.

To keep herself from turning on the man himself, she dug her heels into the floor and raised one fist to rest over her heart, feeling it quickening beneath her fingers. "That doesn't matter right now. What does is making sure Snow gets to the new world so he and Serah can be together again."

"I know," she said, shrugging. "I just wanted to stall you a little, that's all."

A strong echo of horror spread through her bones as the girl laughed, head tipped back, and snapped her fingers. In a swirl of chaos, a bipedal beast with a single red eye and bearing a club half its size appeared in the atrium. Lighting stopped in her tracks and lifted her sword off her back, forced to leap aside as the beast slammed its club with speed that belied its bulk into the floor. Caius had already moved away from the impact zone, standing on the opposite side of the atrium from her, while Lumina had disappeared again.

"What's the _point_?" she shouted as she readied her sword. "Lumina! Stop with these games!"

The girl's cruel laughter was the response.

The beast swung its club too fast for her and launched her off her feat into the wall. The world went dark for a moment and her head rang; sprawled out on the floor, all she could do was stare into space, chest heaving, as she willed her body to recover. The beast faced her, but as it brought its club down, Caius darted between them and sent a powerful blast of energy into its face. It stumbled, its single eye blinking rapidly, and he slashed it with his sword, chaos gushing out of the wound like a great waterfall.

As she picked herself up, head clearing of the fog of pain, she joined him in the battle, slashing and stabbing, until its legs collapsed under it and its great bulk rocked the earth when it landed. Together, they finished it off, severing its head from its body, and the chaos exploded out in a hissing, whispering wind.

"Ha, ha, _ha_! More! _More_!" Out of the swirling chaos came a dozen strange bipedal creatures bearing wings, their red eyes gazing at her without blinking. They moved fast, darting out of the way when she tried to cut one in half, and when she pivoted to face it, its razor-sharp claws raked her shoulder and left deep gouges in the armor. Irritated, she blasted it with a column of ice before striking it with a bolt of lightning. As she bisected it as it hovered there, dizzy, a whirlwind started around her, causing the monsters to shriek in fright.

Taking advantage of the sudden storm, she charged the winds with more lightning, crackling around them, as tendrils of purple energy bristled through the air. With a snap of her fingers, she caused the lightning to explode, lighting up the atrium in a brilliant white flash accompanied by deafening thunder.

The monsters' bodies fell to the ground as ash.

"That's _enough_, Lumina!" Lightning shouted at the girl, now seeing her perched above on the balcony. "I'm here to save Snow, and _no one_, not even _you_, is going to stop me!"

"So if you plan to _save_ Snow, why are you bringing the one thing that could drive him straight into Cie'th territory?"

Lightning faced Caius, who gazed calmly at her. "It won't matter!"

Lumina laughed. "Pieces of chaos, fragments of possibility, and a whole lot of unknowns. No one knows the future anymore, you see? Even if someone _had_ been able to know it before, it's totally changed now. You can't predict what will happen to Snow. How do you know you can save him at all?"

"I have to. There is no if or maybe where Snow is involved. I will do _whatever_ it takes to save him."

"Lightning, calm down, it doesn't help!"

Lightning felt as though she were suddenly choking and whirled on the familiar voice at the other end of the atrium, in time to see a slender young woman in a mostly white outfit, holding out her hands and looking very worried, before the chaos swept her image away. She called out the woman's name, stumbling toward the image as though pulled along by a magnet, distantly hearing her companion's voice calling to her. As she reached the spot where the image had been, the winds suddenly stopped, and the world fell silent.

Lightning stumbled over her own feet and slid to a stop where the image had been, but there was nothing but the sound of her own breath rasping in her throat. Caius approached her with slow, careful steps, and when he was just a short distance away, she looked at him, stone-faced.

"It was an image in the chaos," he said. "Nothing more. It was not your sister."

Feeling her heart pounding in her chest, she brought her breathing back under control. "You don't think I know that?" she muttered. "It was obviously one of Lumina's ruses."

"Of course," he said, amicably, and she pointedly kept her eyes on the hallway ahead of them.

Warier now, Lightning lead the way down the hall, Lumina's cruel giggling fading behind her, heart finally slowing in her chest to a manageable pace. The image of Serah's body collapsing in a lifeless heap against Noel's chest kept coming back to her, churning through her mind, while Caius's mocking laughter and cruel stare underlined it and her own suffering in that timeless realm providing the foundation. Though she was missing her emotions, she still felt echoes of them coursing through her veins, and it took some effort to keep those echoes from becoming stronger and bleeding into her heartless void.

"Lightning…" Someone moved in front of her, and it wasn't until she stopped to avoid running into him that she realized her leg felt worse and her lungs gulped air.

"Wha…" Shaking her head, she looked up into Caius's dark eyes. "What? What is it?"

"You're limping," he said, very sternly.

"It's healing," she growled at him, but her hand brushed across the wound as she spoke, making it sting. "I just irritated it a little. It'll get a chance to heal when I rest on the Ark this morning. I need to get to Snow before I go back up there. Out of my way." Shouldering his towering bulk aside, she kept striding down the hall, the image of her sister pulling her along, ignoring everything else. Snow had to be there for Serah when she came back to them. He had to see the new world. Nothing else mattered at that moment.

"Lightning, _stop_!" Caius made no attempt to shield his furious heart as it caused the chaos around her to churn like a maelstrom. "You are exerting it. There is blood everywhere."

At the corner, she lurched forward to land against the wall and examine her leg. Hissing at it through her teeth, she pawed at it with one hand before giving it a _smack_ with her fist, demanding that it obey and heal. The bullet was gone, but the flesh was healing far too slowly, and blood ran down her leg, turning the armor from black to a velveteen crimson color. Placing a hand over the wound, she gritted her teeth against the pain as a flicker of white light leapt from the symbol on her chest to the wound. The light briefly scalded her.

Caius stood beside her, and when she looked up at him, she saw concern accompanied by frustration and a hint of anger. Despite herself, she felt her faint frustration ebbing away.

"My sister is all I have left, Caius," she murmured. The pain receded, and her head cleared. "When I go to the new world, she is all I have until she marries Snow and I'm alone again." Her gaze wavered before finding his again. "I reacted when I saw her image. That's all." She rubbed her face with a hand, still leaning against the wall. "Between that and Lumina, I just wasn't thinking. I'm alright now."

The feeling of him in the chaos calmed and receded until she could feel him no more. "You are all that can correct the mistakes I have made," he said. "My concern is justified."

"Is it?" She managed a wry smile. "We were enemies. There should be no concern."

"Perhaps," was his cool response. "It matters not."

Finally, she straightened, abandoning the support of the wall. "Alright. Shouldn't be far. Let's go."

They traveled into the bowels of the palace, deeper into the swirling chaos and closer to the source of the emissions. Once or twice, she thought she heard Hope trying to get through to her, but between the mass of chaos and Caius's proximity, there was simply no way for him to succeed. She was alone in a chaos-infested land, her sole companion being the man who had warred with her in another land of chaos long ago.

"Lumina is right," she murmured. "Like I said, too, you might jeopardize _everything_ by being there. If he sees you, and he knows you're responsible for her–"

"I will accept whatever consequences he deems appropriate," he interrupted. "The matter is closed."

Lightning frowned and said no more.

As they traveled, groups of soldiers tried to bar their way, guns blazing and bayonets gleaming, but they were ordinary men and women, easily dispatched. Lumina did not reappear, though Lightning could hear faint echoes of her laughter, pursuing them through the labyrinth.

At last, they came to a T-junction of marbled floors and beautifully-textured walls filled with flecks of gold that sparkled in the blue light. Set deep into the center of the wall ahead was a door, encased by crystalline ice. When she approached, she sensed darkness beyond the door, ebbing like waves on a beach, pushing back against her like a physical force. She smoothed a hand across it. "It's not cold," she said.

"That is because it is not ice," Caius said. He moved to stand beside her and extended a hand to touch it also. "It is crystal, but its lattice is formed from chaos. It is at its base a crystallized form of chaos."

"Can you remove it?" she said. "He's gotta be here."

"The chaos is radiating from beyond that door," he murmured, "but no, I cannot force it. Either it opens on its own whim, or there is another way to clear it." He looked at her, features outlined in soft blue light that cast soft shadows across his skin. "If Snow does want you to kill him, he is presenting an obstacle for you to overcome. Perhaps he is counting on your imagination to accomplish this task."

"Why does he want me to kill him?" she murmured. A crackle of static came in her ear; she waved a hand, telling Caius to remain where he was, and moved a distance away. "Hope?" she said into the comm. "Hope, can you hear me at all?" More static and what she thought was an occasional, broken syllable. "If you can hear me, I need you to give schematics. Just send them to me. Hear me? Schematics for the palace. Repeat, send me schematics for the palace. It's important." She repeated her request twice more, then switched off the comm when all she received in response was one or two badly fractured words and a lot of static.

"Schematics," Caius mused. "What for?"

Lightning looked carefully at him and his patient expression. "To see how close we are to the patron's quarters. It might take a while for him to send them… if he heard me at all." She sighed. "From what little I understand, Snow is so broken up over Serah's death that it's destroyed him. That's why it's so dangerous for you to go, you see? He might lose his mind when he sees you, and Lumina said he'd become a Cie'th, possibly."

"Snow is a l'Cie, the last of them," he said. "He was branded by Cactuar centuries ago before the fal'Cie vanished. His final Focus is to protect Yusnaan." At her blank expression, a smirk tugged at his lips. "I may have been locked away in the temple for five centuries, but I saw glimpses through the chaos – voices, memories, thoughts, anything that the chaos could reflect or mimic, it would carry through its fabric."

"I see," she said, nodding.

"Do you expect to find something in Snow's quarters?"

"I don't know. Maybe. It's really just a hunch." As she sighed, she felt her PDA – graciously given to her by Hope on the first day – buzz in her pouch. Unsnapping the flap, she pulled it out and flicked on the display. A low-quality map of the palace greeted her; she smiled faintly at the sight. "Good man, Hope," she muttered. "Alright. Snow's quarters are right down that hall. Let's see what we can find."

The door to the Patron's quarters dangled on its hinges, with the topmost and bottommost torn free and the remaining ones barely hanging on. A gouge in the door testified to it being thrown open with great force. The air stank of chaos and pain; Lightning wrinkled her nose and flicked on the light beside the door. What greeted her made her heart skip a beat: a well-kept bed with badly worn and tossed sheets, worn carpet, a wall made of bars between the bedroom section of the quarters and another section she guessed had been meant for complete privacy, and a stain on one wall that reminded her of dried blood.

Swallowing hard, she turned the light back off and let her eyes adjust to the darkness.

A few moments later, soft violet light formed a sphere in the darkness, not enough for her to see the details of the horrors around her, but enough to see by and not trip over anything. Lightning glanced at Caius to see him standing with one hand outstretched, a translucent globe of light cradled in his palm. She wanted to thank him, but could not find her voice and instead looked around.

Something glinting on the bedside caught her eye; she picked it up to find a familiar object in the shape of Cocoon and its pillar dangling from a silver chain snapped in half.

"Snow's necklace," she whispered, staring at it as it sparkled dully in the violet light. "He broke it off."

"And left it here." Caius moved up beside her. "He did not plan to return for it."

Her fingers tightened around it. "No, he didn't. He _does_ plan to die. That cowardly fool." She briefly bared her teeth in a semblance of frustration before wrapping the broken chain around her hand. "Either that, or he left it here for me to find. It was his engagement necklace – only Serah meant more to him. It was his promise to her that he would never abandon her." She hissed through her teeth. "He stayed with her when even _I_ turned her away."

Caius said nothing, but she heard him shift his weight.

"This might open the door," she said in sudden realization, tightening her grip.

She then strode out of the room, returning to the door encased in crystal, and held out the necklace toward the crystal. Instead of responding, it just sat there, its glimmering facets taunting her. Behind the door, she felt the oppressive maelstrom of chaos and a sudden burst of frustration, welling up from deep inside, somewhere beyond her heartless void, tinged with anger.

"Snow, you fool," she hissed. "You're going to shut yourself away and wait for death. You think Serah would want that? You doin' this for _her_? You think _dying_ will make everything better?" Closing her fist around the pendant, she slammed her fist down on the door. "Don't you abandon her now! Snow!" Swearing at the door, she brought her fist up again to lash out at it, but before the strike connected, the pendant emitted a sudden, radiant light, and the crystal lattice abruptly vanished. Lightning gasped as the doors swung open.

"Infused with elements of his heart," Caius said quietly. "That pendant has accompanied him throughout his journey, and it now bears the scars of the centuries. Do you feel it?"

She stared at him without understanding, then turned her focus to the pendant. Only then did she register that the metal was burning in her hand, making her bones ache and heart beat faster. The stink of chaos wafted off it; in surprise, she nearly dropped it, uncurling her fingers from around it. Drenched in memories and chaos – she did not dare try to read any of the deeper facts of the trinket.

"Yeah," she said, and tucked the pendant away into her pouch. "Stay here. Let me see what's going on."

Caius remained where he was while she stepped into the atrium beyond. It seemed to be a meeting-hall of some sort with a vaulted, shimmering ceiling thick with shadows. On the far side stood another set of doors, beyond which she felt the presence of a huge chaos emission, much like the one in the cathedral. She took a deep breath and walked deeper into the hall, reaching out, feeling for any sign of trouble.

"There you are, Lightning," a voice said from the darkness. She stopped in her tracks. "It's about time you came for me. Had to know you were the real one – no imposter would know what to do with that old trinket. But, uh, if you're the real her, then I _know_ you've betrayed us all."

Lightning frowned in the direction of the voice, but Snow was cloaked in shadows. "Betrayed? Snow, come on out, I won't hurt you. I'm here to _help_ you."

Something moved in the darkness, and she saw the glitter of crystal moments before she saw Snow, still dressed in his sharp black suit, now with the beginnings of crystals smattering his flesh, emerge out of the darkness. In his right hand, he carried the pole he had fought against her with before bearing a heavy crystal lattice at each end. Its facets reflected the pale blue light all around and made the whole ensemble twinkle like grounded stars.

"Glad to see you're alive," she said, and drew her sword.

"Out of the way, Lightning. I've got no interest in you, this time." Snow's icy blue eyes, deadly serious, terrifying cold and hard, did not land on her at all. "First, I'm gonna kill Caius. I will rip the flesh off his bones, even if it doesn't make him dead for long. I want Serah avenged before I die."

* * *

_Sorry about the long wait on this one! I had major blocks and a lot of stuff going on, but I'm finally getting back on track. Here's an extra-long chapter to get us moving ever closer to all the fancy new changes I'm making... should be interesting. Anyway, thank you for being so patient and waiting on me to get my act together._

_Also, I didn't have the opportunity to beta a lot of this chapter, so if there's typos or minor inconsistencies, that's why. I wanted this chapter out before the middle of the month. Technically, it is, so, yeah. Enjoy!_


	22. Nadir

_**21 Nadir**_

Lightning felt her eyes narrow and herself swallow nervously before she couldn't help but glance over her shoulder toward the doorway. As she realized her mistake, Snow snarled and brandished the pole before launching himself away from her. She shouted and brought her sword off her back, but Caius met him halfway, appearing in a flicker of chaos, stopping the other so suddenly that Snow fell back as though he had run into a solid wall and could not keep himself on his feet. Rolling tightly, he ended back upright and wasted no time swinging the weapon in the kind of arc that left little room to maneuver.

Not that Caius had much problem, moving with the sort of speed that seemed impossible for a man of his bulk, and brushed past Snow enough to trip him and send him landing hard on the floor.

Not looking the least bit fazed, he appeared beside her and stared without expression as the blond man tried to stand.

"Snow, listen," she said, "there's no need to–"

Cutting her off with battle cry, he sprang off the floor and lashed out. Lightning dodged as best as she could, but felt the wind from the swing stir her hair. At the same time, she swung her sword up – _clang_ – and backpedaled out of reach of Snow's flying fist.

"C'mon, Lightning," he growled. "I told you, this is your chance for _payback_!"

"I don't _want_–" Snow interrupted her by suddenly filling her vision with crystal dust and shooting a burst of electricity through her body that tightened her vocal chords and made it impossible to speak. Her vision cleared quickly, in time to see Snow thrown halfway across the atrium and land with a loud grunt. Caius stood in the spot Snow had been forcibly ejected from, then turned to her and extended a hand. Lightning grasped at it and let him pull her up again. The two then faced Snow.

"You _are_!" he shouted, glaring at them with mad eyes. "How could you _betray_ us?"

Lightning gritted her teeth. "You're not gonna stop," she murmured in stark realization, but resolved not to lay a mortal blow on him no matter what he said or did. A spurt of anxiety touched her heartless void, though, when she saw a flicker of light from his forearm and found herself caught in a chilly whirlwind that almost knocked her off her feet. It was bequeathed of a l'Cie in the final stage – great strength and endurance, great power, and she knew, right then, that Snow did not have much time left.

If he had any left at all.

Braving the chilly winds and snowflakes, she charged him and tried to hit him with the flat side of her blade, but he dodged it and elbowed her midsection. She gasped slightly, and it was a long enough pause that he was able to pounce and tackle her onto the floor. It took all her concentration not to land a killing blow, kicking him off with both feet and flipping upright when he fell back.

He came after her again in seconds, but the world went dark, howling in her ears, blocking him from her view. She heard him snarling and raging like a caged animal; she moved close enough to see through the chaos to Snow, who looked all around and seemed to slash out randomly at a shape moving in the darkness. As he stood blinded by the chaos and her vision cleared, she slammed into him and sent him skidding across the marble. Limbs landed with fleshy _thuds_, and he screamed in a way that reminded her of a wild animal.

In a flash, she was on top of him, slashing and striking with the flat of her blade, bruising and battering him.

"I'm not killing you!" she shouted. "No matter what, I am _not_ killing you, Snow!"

This only seemed to infuriate him further as he flailed beneath her and finally bucked her off. She landed hard and skidded a few feet before she was able to stand up again. Snow attacked without hesitation, lifting her off the ground with one end of the pole, but somehow she gained her balance and launched herself into the air. Flipping in midair, she landed, rolled backward, and slashed to force him to back up.

He cursed her, swore at her, his attacks becoming less precise and more violent as the madness seemed to overcome him. She soon realized they were backing up, moving closer to the doors behind which the chaos surged, and felt a bubble of uncertainty well up inside her. Why was he doing this?

He stopped her blade suddenly, a mad gleam in his eyes. "Behind me is all the chaos in Yusnaan that's been building up for centuries," he said to her. Lightning glanced at the door as he spoke. "But, you see, I can't hold it back there forever. It'll have to come out eventually. I'm gonna absorb all of it. It'll save the city."

Lightning's eyes widened. "No. No, you _can't_."

"Actually, in reality? I _can_." Suddenly, he reversed tactics, swinging the pole in an arc at her knees. She reacted, springing straight up and bringing the flat of her sword down on his head. Snow yelped in pain and crumpled to the ground, holding both hands on his skull; Lightning held her sword at the ready.

And then, at that moment, the humming from before, of Serah's song, came to them.

Snow stopped making noises and seemed to freeze in place, but the way he tilted his head indicated that he heard the humming as well. Slowly, his chin lifted, and the humming echoed around the chamber. A look of horror expanded on his face, fingers clenching around his hair, gathering it into clumps, his eyes widening. His breathing quickened, and slowly, he rose to his feet, still grasping his hair. It took a moment for her to realize his lips were moving, and another moment to realize that he _kept repeating her name_, over and over, as though it were some sort of mantra.

His eyes turned on Caius, and her stomach plummeted through the floor.

Though she tried to stop him, Snow summoned strength like she had not yet seen from him and swatted her aside, at the same time as she saw the chaos streaming through gaps around the door leading to the bloom. She landed too hard on her shoulder, teeth clacking together, and though she clamored quickly to her feet, she could not move fast enough to stop him from attacking her companion with everything he had. She shouted his name, demanded that he turn his attention to her, but her words flew right past.

Caius had his sword now, but had to move quickly to block and deflect Snow's assault. Instead of calling on his power, he worked instead to match Snow's attacks rather than overcome them. Something whispered in the back of her mind, telling her to _wait and see_, and half in agony, she watched through wide eyes.

The black, twisted crystals of a Pulse l'Cie crept up his left arm, spreading from his brand, melding even with his clothing as it continued upward. Still he fought, harder and faster, and the chaos streamed from around the door evermore, and Lightning did not dare move, but she felt a sense of horror all the same. Though it was slow, the transformation _was_ happening, _and he was making it happen_.

To her surprise, he overcame Caius for a moment, long enough to knock him backward onto his back, but Caius ended up on his feet again seconds later and resumed his defense. A look of firm concentration turned his features to stone, lips tight together, armor and hair shining in the strange light, while Snow sparkled and shone like thousands of diamonds. Beautiful, had the circumstances been different…

The humming continued, louder. Lightning gritted her teeth, knowing precisely who it was.

Caius's face became a scowl as he forced Snow's latest attack to the side and then kicked the side of his exposed midsection. "_Enough_ of this!" he barked at the other man.

"No! It's what I _deserve_!" Snow howled in response, but his voice was cracking. "I couldn't _save_ her! My Focus was to _save_ her, to _be there for her_, and I _couldn't do it_! I let her down and now she's _dead_ because of me! I wasn't there to help _stop_ you! You killed her, and I am _also_ to blame for that! _You killed her_!" He punctuated the final remark by slamming the pole down in the blink of an eye, and Caius grunted from the impact and collapsed to his knees. Snow struck him again, and again, over the other man's shoulders and head before finally throwing the dark warrior into the far wall with the ease of a child pitching a rag doll.

It cracked with the impact, pieces of stone falling, while Caius weakly stirred.

"Snow! _Snow_!" How could he do this? How could the high-tempered but gentle-hearted Snow Villiers be driven to such extremes of madness? Snarling, launching herself from her prone position, she crashed into Snow, but landed on his crystallized side and sent waves of pain all up and down her body. "Snow! Please, stop this!" She reached for his throat, but the skin had turned hard as crystal and glittered faintly in the light. For a moment, she felt as though all her emotions had suddenly returned, rushing through her void, as she panicked and struggled to bring him down. Not enough time. _Not enough ti–_

The chaos stopped roaring when they both hit the floor, Snow's chest heaving beneath her, his one human arm clawing at the air while she pinned his Cie'th arm to the marble. She dug in, using all her strength and weight to hold him down, praying it was enough.

Except for his faintly distorted grunts, silence fell once more.

"Snow," she said, pleading now, "come back to us. Don't be like this. You don't have to _die_."

Snow's eyes had gone red, turning on her now.

"But he _wants_ to, Lightning. You understand that, don't you?" And Lumina strode out of the chaos ebbing overhead, her hands once more clasped behind her back. Her eyes twinkled with amusement, and for the first time, Lighting felt a strong sense of bitterness and despair at the sight of the girl. "He wants to see _Serah_ again. Come on, you have to grant him _that_, at least. If he dies, he knows he sees her again."

"He'll see her again if he _lives_," she snarled. "Bhunivelze promised to return her. _He promised_. He's going to keep that promise if it _kills_ me!"

Lumina was laughing before she even finished. "Yeah, I think we're way past that now. Snow's half Cie'th. Are you gonna just let him _suffer_? Only Etro was ever able to return Cie'th to human form, remember? And don't forget, that man over there? You know, the one who killed Serah–"

Snow roared beneath her, guttural and distorted, and she thought she saw the crystal creeping toward his eyes turn moist. Lightning felt her heart speed up.

Lumina tipped her head. "–_also_ killed Etro, the only one capable of saving him. End it, Lightning – or are you gonna put words in Serah's mouth? Speak for the dead? How do you know Serah wouldn't appreciate him coming back to her, huh? You gonna let him die a monster? It'll be quick, and painless, with you." Lumina paced beside them and looked up at the ceiling. "Meanwhile, you let him live as a Cie'th, and he's not going to the new world. _Ever_. Cie'th are things of the chaos, and they don't belong in the new world."

Lightning stared at her before returning her gaze to Snow and his continuing progression. _My fault_, she realized then, remembering that she had allowed Caius to come with her despite his objections and Lumina's warnings. This was _her fault_, ultimately, and no one else's, not even Caius's. Pulling the engagement pendant from her pouch, she let it hang on its broken chain, dangling over Snow.

"Don't you remember your promise to her?" she murmured. "Don't you remember promising to _always_ be hers and stand by her side? If you don't go, who is my sister gonna come home to, huh? You can't do this to me, Snow… You have to _live_! Come _on_! You're too stubborn to _die_!" Her voice cracked, the sense of emotion within her growing ever stronger, as she bowed her head, begging the memories in the pendant to reach him.

A final, broken wail came from Snow's chest, so heavily distorted that it sounded almost nothing like him, and she was forced back by a flash of light and the force of him pushing her away. The chaos rushed out of the chamber, the doors flying open, and the blood turned to nothingness as Snow's body absorbed the full of it.

When her vision cleared, Snow had vanished.

And in his place, climbing unsteadily to its feet, a face resembling Snow's meshed into the formations where his head used to be, was a Cie'th formed out of crystal.

Lightning stared without understanding for a long moment, something dancing on the fringes of her thoughts and feelings. The Cie'th turned on her, growling and hissing, suddenly striking her across the chest with one arm and knocking her almost to the floor. Shellshocked, she let it happen, knowing she deserved whatever punishment and pain he dished out. She should have listened to Lumina. She should have left Caius behind.

Her eyes widened as she looked at the cracked wall.

Caius had not moved from that spot.

Despite knowing he was responsible for the Cie'th behind her, she still gathered herself up and made her way over to him, limping slightly in pain. Behind her, Snow hissed again, but did not pursue her. His wailing echoed in the chamber, and no doubt it could be heard all over this section of the palace, but she forced herself to block it out, trying to focus instead on her goal, shutting out everything else.

When she came up to him, he was alive, but staring grimly at the floor, not moving except for his breathing. There was blood on the wall. No doubt the impact had broken every bone in his back.

Confused about how to feel, she said, "Caius?"

His dark eyes flicked up to hers, and the look of darkness he gave her made her shrink back, feeling as though she stared into a void. She said nothing as he climbed to his feet, the smell of blood betraying the fact that he had, most likely, driven his own sword through himself to be rid of the pain.

"What will you do?" he demanded, and she, taken aback, could only stare, trying desperately to think of a response, but her mind was foggy with pain and uncertainty.

"I want to save him," she mumbled, "make him free. But… I don't know _how_."

Caius's eyes were dangerous. "Then you must figure that out, or his crystalline corpse will be devoured by the chaos at the end of the world. I cannot guarantee he will even exist."

She shook her head. "He _will_ live. He… he has to. I just haven't… I haven't…"

"Etro is gone, Lightning. If you recall, I _am_ responsible for her demise. She _was_ the only one capable of reversing the transformation into l'Cie, or a Cie'th, or a crystal statue. Her power over the chaos was enough to make it obey her, to an extent. The only one capable of saving him is gone." Though his expression did not change, his gaze seemed hollow. "If I had not come, perhaps all would have gone as was proper."

She shook her head again, but more forcefully this time. "There's no point wondering. Right now, we have to figure out what to do about _him_." She looked over at the sad, pitiable creature shambling about in the dull light, wailing and groaning, and felt her chest tighten. No. She couldn't give up, not when there were so many days remaining, but she still felt some distant part of her demanding _how_ she planned to accomplish the impossible task of retrieving Snow from the darkness he now wallowed in.

Long ago, she and three others had reached the end of their brands' cycle and been transformed into Cie'th, while Vanille and Fang had been forced to look on. That time had become a haze to her, unable to pull out details from the fogginess, but she could recall a feeling of terror and helplessness. She had no true control over her own body, as it seemed to function on its own, blinded by pain. Even the sensation of being covered in crystals had been painful, pulling and stretching and pinching and–

Lightning shut her eyes tight, willing the memories to go away. Caius was right – only Etro had had the ability to reverse such a radical transformation, and now she was gone.

The sound of boots pounding on the floor came to her, and she opened her eyes to see a group of guards come running into the chamber with their guns at the ready. She stepped out into the light, but did not draw her sword, curious as to what could have called them into the depths of the palace like this. While the wailing of the Cie'th was mighty, she knew it could not have extended beyond the local chambers and halls.

There were six guards, four male and two female, all of them dressed in the armor of the inner palace guards, without the elaborate helmets donned by the street patrollers. All of them stopped and gave small gasps at the sight of the Cie'th, backing up when the creature howled and shambled toward them.

One of them raised his rifle and clicked off the safety.

Lightning walked quickly toward them. "No, _no_," she said, softly enough not to startle him, but loudly enough to draw his attention. "It's Snow. It's Snow, your Patron. Put your rifles down and stay back, but don't shoot. Please, don't shoot him. _Please_." She patted her hands in the air, and though obviously reluctant, the man did as she asked, watching her with suspicious eyes.

"You're the Liberator," one of them said. "You took down a _bunch_ of our guys!"

"I didn't kill a single one," she pointed out. "They will all survive. None of them are more than a little battered."

He grunted, but said nothing more.

One of the female guards looked at the Cie'th with wide eyes. "He doesn't look like a normal Cie'th," she murmured. "Did he… go through with his threat?"

Lightning looked again, slowly realizing there _was_ something… unusual about Snow's current appearance. The body was that of a Pulse l'Cie, no doubt, but the crystals on his left arm seemed to flow in the shape of a checkerboard, while the icy blue tint on the front of his body gave way to a more golden color as it flowed around to the back or over his shoulders. She frowned at her examination.

"He absorbed all of the chaos. He can't be allowed out of this chamber." Lightning turned back to the guards. "I failed to save him this time, but I will look for another way. Please. Seal him in here until I return. If I cannot find a way before the final day…" She took a deep breath, closing her eyes, unable to believe that it had come to this. "…I will return and finish him off with my own hand."

Her words were greeted by stares and shocked silence, but no one raised any objection. Turning away, she looked at Caius, but his hard stare forced her to look away again.

"Did you do this to the Patron?" one of the guards demanded. "Are you responsible?"

Lightning looked at him, not sure how to answer. She was responsible because of bringing Caius along, but Caius was responsible because he had killed Serah, the only thing anchoring Snow to any semblance of sanity. Being reminded of the woman's demise had snapped whatever grounding he'd had.

"He was reminded of the death of his love, my sister, when I came here," she admitted. "So, I suppose I am."

The guard snorted. "Then you better leave."

"He _must_ be locked in here, do you understand? Do not slay him until I am certain there is no method of returning him to his original state." She scowled at them. "In fact, all of you, get out. I will personally seal the doors behind us. _Get out_. I mean it." Bringing her sword off her back, she swung it, and the guards raised their rifles, but backed up toward the door. The Cie'th wailed, and they stumbled out.

Lightning and Caius crossed the threshold as the guards retreated into the distance, and she quickly slammed the doors shut. Snow made one attempt to open them, screaming his defiance at their abandonment, but she forced herself to ignore it, sealing the door in a solid sheet of ice. The air became very cold; she could see her breath now. Snow howled behind the door, and Lightning stared, wishing she could do more.

There was a crackle of static in her ear, but she resisted the urge to try and reach out to Hope, instead using the map he had provided to find their way out. They walked in silence, Caius remaining always behind her, as she led the way through a twisting, narrow hallway that led to the rocky shore beneath the far side of the palace where it hung out over the Sea of Chaos. The stars were out, the horizon glowing blue, the New Cocoon hanging in the sky and shining a pale, silver light across the landscape.

As they exited the passage, they had to slide down a rocky hillside to the shoreline – a narrow spit of land littered with rocks and patches of black sand. As she landed, she briefly wondered who would put an exit there, but quickly decided it really wasn't that important.

Lightning briefly stumbled into the shallows of the Sea of Chaos. "There. They won't try to find us here."

Caius, who had landed close behind her, said nothing.

Lightning looked at him, noticing also that the fireworks had ceased for the night. Knowing Yusnaan tended to party all night, that had to mean that it was actually early morning. How much time did she have left before she had to return to the Ark? "Hope should be able to hear me here, and I should be able to hear him. Shouldn't be long now before I have to go back up there."

Caius still said nothing, and she looked to see him staring intently at the Sea.

The longer she gazed at him, the heavier the weight of the situation became. Snow was a Cie'th. She had failed in her attempt to save him, and though she had told the guards she would try to find a way to save him, she knew it to be a hopeless endeavor. Etro was gone, and the chaos ruled.

Since Caius had come with her, very little good had come out of it. His presence had pushed Snow into becoming a Cie'th before she had a chance to intervene. Fang had been firm in her belief that Caius was responsible for all of the terrible things that had come. Bringing him with her was a constant reminder of the pain he had caused to everyone and everything he had done to _her_, and he had nearly set Noel off on a path of insanity.

Though she hated to admit it, Lumina had been right.

_There has been some good_, a voice deep inside her whispered, but she swatted it aside, feeling tired and blind from lack of rest and breakthroughs. She didn't want to think about Caius's good right now, of which she could convince herself he had _none_ at all. She wanted instead to focus on the negatives of bringing him along, wondering if his great power, which he had yet to truly demonstrate, was really worth suffering for.

She opened her mouth. _Go back to the temple_, she wanted to say. _Go back there and rot for all I care_.

But the words died before they reached her lips.

Caius turned his back to her when she faced him. "It is approaching six," he said. "Make use of what time you have left this morning. The next time you want to try and save the world, I will remain behind."

She swallowed. "I made a mistake bringing you."

"To begin with? Perhaps you did."

One hand came up to rub her forehead. "Maybe the terms of our agreement should change. Snow's a Cie'th now, and you're right – it _is_ your fault. You killed Serah, and then you reminded him of it by showing up. I don't know if I can save him. I doubt I can. I _lost_ him. He can't go on to the new world now." A rising, faint sense of panic burned the back of her throat like bile, and she carefully held it in check.

"I will meet you upon your return. Once you have made your decision about our agreement, you may tell me there."

Lightning gritted her teeth. "Fine."

The breeze stirred his hair. "Rest well." In a whisper of chaos, he vanished, leaving her alone on the narrow, rocky shoreline. The Sea of Chaos lapped at her feet, shining and sparkling, but leaving no wetness in its wake, just like in Valhalla. The memory of endless war reached her; she hissed through her teeth, summoning her strength, and decided that maybe in the silence of Luxerion, she could think a moment.

The trip through the corrupted Historia Crux felt easier this time, less turbulent, and she stumbled out in a wink of white light. It was the North Station in Luxerion, with only a couple of Order members strolling in the dusk. None of them did more than glance at her, though their looks were ones of respect. Lightning looked up to see the clock over the station reading five-fifteen.

She desperately wished she could rage, or cry, or scream at the cosmos, but nothing of her old self came.

* * *

It took a long time to trek through the dark woods between the roads linking the continents and the crevasse leading to the temple, but Noel guided himself through the use of the bioluminescent plants and lichens lining his path. As the stars tracked overhead, he came upon a village near the glowing spires of the temple, lit with small torches set into the stone walls. He waited in the shadows, crouched close to the rock. The instincts of a hunter kept him silent and still, watching as several guards slowly patrolled the area.

He waited for many long minutes, carefully watching their pattern, memorizing where they strode. There seemed to be little variation – as unimaginative as the Order had been.

He winced at that memory. The Order had managed to cause him a good deal of pain even still.

Perhaps it was best not to underestimate these ones, too.

When one of the guards vanished, he came from his hiding place, following the shadows and darting across the patches of light, counting the seconds in his head. The loose gravel and dusty earth made his steps sound loud in the silence; he prayed it was merely to his own ears. When he reached a corner near what seemed to be a home carved right into the cliff, he stopped again, in time to see the guard return and begin patrolling again. Curling up tight as he could, he watched carefully as the patrols continued.

As he waited, he looked at the spires and quickly realized that, between himself and what seemed to be the temple entrance, stood a ruined city and a crumbled bridge – what remained of Valhalla's mysterious city, maybe. There seemed no easy path to the temple gate, but Noel felt no concern. He had made it this far, and he would continue as far as he needed to see Yeul's face again.

If he closed his eyes, he saw her ghost in his lids, smiling and extending hands of welcome, like she had in the vision of the Oracle Drive.

_Go back_, a voice whispered in the back of his mind – soft, but firm. _You are not supposed to be here. Noel, please, go to the desert. You still have time to leave_.

He blinked in confusion, feeling as though he had _physically_ heard the voice, but pushed the idea aside when he realized how silly that sounded. Maybe the past five hundred years _had_ driven him completely insane, and he would need a lot of time to clear it all up from his memories.

When the guards vanished, he darted for a slope that curved around toward the ruins. The gaps were rather large between the ruins, but he would figure it out. He was making this all up as he went anyway. Besides, the cliffs seemed to be made mostly of clay, and there was a funny thing about clay: it had a tendency to be perfect for making footholds and handholds with his two blades…

At the top of the slope, as he slowed to take a quick survey of the area, a guard stepped out of the shadows, dressed in worn robes that reminded him of the Order, and looked right at him.

Noel yelped and slid, falling to a half-split position.

The guard's eyes were hard. "You're not the Liberator. You can't go to the temple. At all."

Noel snarled, deciding then that he wouldn't give up, and barreled right past the guard, nearly knocking him over. As the man howled and shouted for backup, he ran the rest of the way, past the crest of the slope to the edge, getting a glimpse of sun-bleached ruins and dusty ground, spying bits of rainforest curling around some of the buildings, right before he toppled off the edge of the cliff, slid, and encountered empty air. In the second before he hit the ground, a wave of panic overcame him, and he hit and rolled hard enough to see stars.

Unable to move for the pain and disorientation, he just lay there a moment, staring blankly up at the starry sky. The guards shouted and the commotion grew louder; he swore under his breath and forced his body to move. Pain jolted through him like spots of fire, elbow hurting when he tried to use it as leverage. Forced to use only his left arm and two legs, he somehow climbed to his feet and limped as he ran toward the far end of the ruins.

"You can't!" someone shouted behind him. "No one but the Liberator can enter that temple! You could die!"

Noel desperately ignored them and hobbled on.

Between himself and the cliff leading up toward the temple were sinkholes, tree roots, crumbled stone, and toppled pillars. Cracks in the earth betrayed where the land had, at some point, split open. He had to either dodge or hop over these, and jumping sent such pain through his body that he began to grow dazed. He only stopped when he suddenly ran into the far cliff with enough force to knock him back and remained there, splayed out on the dirt, staring through a red haze at the sheer, dusty cliff and the faint glow of the spires beyond.

Shouts and sounds of pursuit filled the air.

But Noel was not about to give up. When he had come this far, he could not give up. Swallowing, gasping, he pulled himself back on his feet, pulled out both swords, and with a great cry of pain, drove them both into the cliff. Chunks of clay and rock sprayed from the impact, dust filling his eyes. He blinked the worst of it away and heaved himself off the ground, setting his feet into the grooves as he climbed. Chips of stone flew around him with each time he scraped or punctured the cliff-face, desperately scouring for places to form his handholds. Halfway up, an entire chunk of clay tumbled to the ground, and he cried out and slid down a few feet.

"You can't go!" his pursuers screamed. "You _can't_ go! Get back down, _now_!"

"No!" he shouted, remembering Lumina's words. "No, no, no! I can't stop! I have to see her! I _have_ to!" Repeating those last three words over and over, he continued his climb, gouging the swords in over and over as the feat sent sweat pouring down his back and his pulse pounded painfully in his skull. Still dizzy from pain and exertion, he kept climbing, scaling as fast as he could, the sounds of pursuit getting quieter. It seemed as though he climbed into an abyss, the night sky horribly blurred and pulling him in when he looked up.

Only a couple of feet from the apex, he stopped, chest heaving. He should not be this tired. He was a _hunter_, capable of grand feats of physical prowess, not a weak old man who could barely walk, but his body seemed to suffer from overexertion and the toll and pain had become taxing.

Then he thought of Yeul, of seeing her just _one more time_, and it boosted him over the crest.

He lay at the top, feet hanging over the edge, panting against the dust and breathing some of it in. His lungs rasped from the effort of climbing so high and so fast. The minutes ticked by, and slowly – excruciatingly slowly – he began to feel a little better. With great effort, he dragged his arms under him and pushed his tired body off the ground, looking up and blinking the dust out of his eyes. Through blurred vision he spotted a rickety ladder, half-sagging from age, leading the way to the very top.

Noel wheezed as he climbed to his feet, trying to shake the exhaustion out of his brain. Dragging himself along, he slowly scaled the ladder, each movement as though it would rip him in half. He took a pause every couple of rungs to catch his breath again, his body like stone, arms ineffectual as elastic strings.

When he crawled atop the final rise, it was to look up and see the temple's spires not half a mile away and a wooden bridge linking the cliff with the temple.

Noel gave a soft, pained laugh and forced himself to stand upright.

Yeul would not see him like this.

As he made his way toward the bridge, he grew aware of someone walking nearby with catlike footfalls. When he looked, he saw Lumina, faintly outlined in the eerie glow of the temple and the starlight, gazing at him without expression. He knew that she had led him to the Oracle Drive that had driven him mad, yet he felt oddly grateful this moment that she had encouraged to come up to the temple.

"You look beat," she murmured.

He laughed again, shuffling onto the bridge. "It'll be worth it. I'm doing this for her. She's all that matters."

He heard her scuff her toe on the ground. "Too bad she can't come meet you, huh?"

He sighed heavily. "Me, too, Lumina."

"But that's okay!" Lumina giggled and ran in front of him, waving him along. "You'll soon see Yeul! Just be careful – there's a _lot_ of chaos in there! You might get a little sick from it." Laughing, she ran up the bridge, but then she vanished, and Noel's eyes widened as he forced his steps to quicken.

Panting as he ran, he crossed the bridge, stumbled over the entryway, then clamored up a flight of long, narrow stairs. The further he went, the harder his lungs seemed to work. At the top of the second flight, he found an atrium frozen in time, pillars of stone blasted outward from the wall, their bits hanging in midair in the shape of a spray. Beyond the overhang, only a few feet in front of him, was an abyss.

"Yeul?" he croaked, and coughed at the stink of the chaos hanging in the air. He coughed again, and again, the dust in his lungs rattling in his throat. "Yeul! Can you hear me? _Yeul_!" He shouted desperately into the darkness, seeing no way of traveling any higher, the gaps between platforms too wide for him to clear on a _good_ day… a day that was most certainly not today. "Yeul! Please, where are you?"

The chaos seemed to whisper and writhe around him, and he held his breath to listen. It was then that flashes of memory came to him – Serah's lifeless body crumpling in his arms, his Yeul dying with a smile, another Yeul simply going limp like a ragdoll, and Caius, smirking triumphantly as the world was enveloped in the chaos.

Again, he shouted her name, and what greeted him was the sound of scattering gravel.

Stomach dropping like a stone, he looked.

From a hollow in the darkness, set into the wall, slithered a great beast made of chaos, its glowing pink eyes fixed on him, its ghostly pink fangs snapping the air. He felt the color drain out of his face, readying his swords, but knowing already that it was over before he had even begun to fight. In his current state, there was simply no way to win, and he had already seen what one of these could do to Lightning.

The beast howled, lunging, but was suddenly blasted off its feet, squealing piercingly loud. It swirled and became nothing, vanishing into the darkness.

Noel stared after it, but had no time to do more than just wonder before Lumina reappeared, perched on a rock hovering in midair, swinging her legs and grinning. At the same time, a girl with long, teal hair materialized out of the darkness, and her large green eyes fixed on him without expression.

He gawked at her. "Yeul? _Yeul_?" He ran toward her.

But the girl narrowed her eyes. "You should not be here."

As he came closer, able to see her better, he understood and slowed to a halt. "You're not my Yeul," he muttered. "Where is she? I came up here to see her." His head swam, the whispering around him getting louder; he groaned and held his head in one hand a moment. Again, the image of Serah and his Yeul falling limp in his arms, more vivid this time, came to him. No matter what he tried, he could not make it go away.

"I said you'd see Yeul," Lumina said. "I didn't say _which_ Yeul."

Noel tried to look at her, but the chaos swirled around him, fit to drive him mad, laughing at him, and in a moment of panic, he stumbled back, trying to get away, and fell over a pile of small stones. The impact shot so much pain through him that he blacked out for a full moment, coming to only when the laughing awakened him.

He made meek attempts to fight it off, but it seized him.

"There is a reason only we and the Liberator can exist in this realm." The voice of the unfamiliar Yeul spoke through the hissing, maniacal laughter of the winds. "It is soaked in the blood of the ancients, in memory and the singularity of time itself. You wish to see your Yeul? If you continue this, you will only see her in death."

Noel struggled. The bonds tightened. "Let me go! _I have to see her_, just _once_!"

The last thing he remembered before blacking out was a familiar voice berating him by name and pulling him out of the chaos's grip, then pitching him through time and space, and the world went silent.

* * *

_Well, this was a long time coming... and there were a few radical changes I made. Things are going to get even more interesting as we go on. That Lumina - what could she possibly be up to with all her new playthings? And Snow as a Cie'th, Noel's head even more messed up from the chaos... these folks just can't catch a break. Anyway, let me know what you think, and hope you enjoyed it!_


	23. Of Beginnings and Endings

_**22 Of Beginnings and Endings**_

"Good morning, Light. I hope you rested well?"

Lightning lifted her head from its resting position on the cot to see Hope smiling at her, his expression radiating warmth and kindness in a way she realized she had sorely missed over the past day and a half. With a soft grunt, she managed to sit up, pushing her sleep-mussed hair out of her eyes. The events of the previous day hung in her mind, but they were faded now. Hope's smile seemed to promise renewal.

"We're back on the regular schedule now, right?" she muttered. She shook her head and yawned. "So. Find anything else I might need to do today?"

Hope made a thoughtful sound. "Actually, yes. Here, take a look."

Lightning eased to her feet and moved toward the large display of Nova Chrysalia's landmass. The spots of chaos she had seen on the first day were either shifted, gone, or brighter, worrying her. The chaos amassed in Yusnaan seemed to be concentrated on a single, fiery point inside the palace – no doubt where Snow was. In the Wildlands, the chaos of the temple had grown larger and fiercer. In the Dead Dunes, the emission had grown larger, spreading out across the island, slowly consuming it.

"Yusnaan is already talking about Snow's disappearance. No word's gotten out about what he's become…" Here, Hope closed his eyes and bowed his head slightly. "…but that can't, and won't, last. Snow has the chaos contained, for now. It's closed up within his own body. Problem is, he's not going to be able to hold it forever. Snow could die from holding back all that chaos. He _will_ die from it, actually."

Lightning briefly bared her teeth. "What do you expect me to do about it, Hope? I _knew_ that when it happened. He won't make it to the new world now."

"We've changed our fates before," he said firmly. "You have to try. You have time."

"To do what? Hammer it home that he's–"

"No, Light, of course not." Hope looked at her very seriously. "No one is beyond salvation, not even Snow. At least, that's what I believe. If there's even a chance, you have to take it, for his sake and your sister's. If you can't find a way, you can take some comfort in knowing you tried." His brow furrowed. "It won't be much comfort, I admit, but at least it'll be something."

Lightning looked carefully at him for a moment. "You brought that up for a reason."

Hope looked pleased. "Yes. The village of Poltae near the entrance to the temple in the Wildlands is populated by people sympathetic to your cause. They're an offshoot of the more violent Children of Etro in Luxerion. In fact, they have practically zero affiliation. They're nonviolent and help travelers who pass through. They're descended from those who used to worship Etro. If any mortal knows anything about Etro's power and the chaos, it's them."

"Caius insisted only Etro could help," Lightning reminded him.

"Yes, but it's a chance. Caius is not omnipotent. Inevitably, there _will_ be something he doesn't know. You can at least give it a shot. Who knows. Maybe there's someone there to save, too."

"Alright." She nodded. "What else, then?"

Hope tapped something on his keyboard, bringing up a map of the Dead Dunes. "I've been tracking two strong energy signatures in the desert. One of them is pure chaos and is warping local spacetime. The other spends its time circling the island, as though it were looking for something." He folded his arms. "From my understanding, they both regularly terrorize the locals."

Lightning thought of the traveler in Ruffian speaking of some flying beast. "Kill them, save locals. Makes sense."

"Well, destroy the chaos signature. The other I'm not sure about yet."

She frowned, but didn't press the matter. "Fang mentioned something about a 'clavis' when last we spoke. Have you found any leads about that?"

"I came across the term in my searches, yes. The clavis is incredibly old, said to predate Cocoon. It was last known to be held by the Haerii tribe on Gran Pulse. They practically worshipped it." Hope narrowed his eyes. "A lot of centuries passed, and after the Haerii civilization was destroyed, it changed hands many times. Last anyone knew, it ended up being sold to a high bidder in early Academia. Then, it disappeared." He nodded at the map. "It's in the ruins, as far as I can tell. She was right."

She rubbed her forehead, taking a deep breath. "Alright. Then I have to go down there."

Hope nodded. "Yes. You have to get it out of those ruins, Light."

Her hand dropped to her side again. "It has to be done at night, though, or it's too hot to travel. I'll see what I can do when nighttime comes again. Do you have anything else?"

Clear green eyes focused on hers, the thin mouth below set firmly before it spoke its next words. "Please be careful around Caius. I don't know what he's planning or thinking, but ever since you took him with you, nothing but trouble has been the result. Were it up to me, I would say to send him back to the temple and leave him. No good can possibly come of his presence. Look at what happened to Snow, for example."

Her gaze met his, trembled, and lowered. "It _was_ Lumina's suggestion. Maybe she knew this would happen. And yet…" Sky-blue eyes lifted again. "_Some_ good has come of it." It was not something she wanted to admit, but she could not really stop the words from coming at that moment.

"I said if it was up to _me_," he told her. "It is not. It is _your_ decision Light. I just want you to be safe, and if keeping Caius around doesn't keep you safe, cut him loose."

She bit her lip. "He isn't dangerous to _me_."

"But he _is_ dangerous to your environment, which can put _you_ in danger."

Lightning looked away. "I'll do what I can, Hope. I'm still trying to sort out exactly what needs to be done, but by the time I get down there, I will have figured it out. Send me to Poltae."

Hope sighed. "I'll drop you right outside it."

Lightning made her way to the teleporter and watched Hope turn his back and touch buttons on the console. A few moments later, familiar prickling cascaded across her body, the Ark winked out of sight, and she reappeared before the facsimile of Etro's throne again with the ever-present veil of chaos surrounding her. It only took a moment for her to realize where she was. "What do you want?" she muttered.

Lumina appeared on the throne, hands resting on the arms. "Wow, harsh, are we? Don't blame _me_ for what happened to Snow… though, what you said to him was pretty low, even for you."

"What are you talking about?"

"Using Serah's memory to try and manipulate him into coming back from Cie'th city." Lumina scowled at her – an expression that seemed unlike her. "Like, 'who is she supposed to come back to'? Come _on_. Talking about putting words in your sister's mouth. Maybe she doesn't want him anymore, or won't come 'home' at all. And, you know what else? He's a Cie'th. Unless he dies, he'll never see her again."

Lightning folded her arms and returned the girl's scowl. "He was a hollow shell as it was. It was my fault that it happened, but what was I supposed to do? Just _leave_ him in his prison until world's end?"

"No. You were supposed to _kill_ him."

"And _that_ would have made things better… how, exactly?"

"Well, _duh_, he would've been able to see your _dead sister_, of course!" The scowl disappeared, replaced by the type of expression carefully calculated to exude a holier-than-thou attitude. "But, of course, you _had_ to ignore your own conscience and drag Caius along with you. He even warned you, and you ignored it. Either you're stupid, which you _aren't_, or Caius is clouding your mind. Bringing him along ruined everything."

"You don't think I realize that?"

Lumina shrugged, vanished, and reappeared with a sigh a few feet in front of her. "I wonder sometimes. But it doesn't matter. You're gonna make up for it by sending Caius back to the temple and saving Vanille. You'll also go find that clavis-thing Hope and Fang talked about. You'll atone for the mistakes made so far and get on with your life, and without Caius's influence, you'll be good to go, and his fate sealed."

"His fate is _already_ sealed," Lightning snarled. "Me toting him around doesn't change jack."

"You're right, you're right," Lumina conceded. "So, you're gonna cut him loose, or are you gonna keep him around, make both of you suffer some more?" She smirked at Lightning's slight twitch of the brow. "Yes, _both_ of you. You didn't think I noticed? He's reminded of the destruction he caused everywhere he goes, while _you_ are constantly reminded of what he put you through in Valhalla." She giggled. "You might wanna think this one over, sis. It has ramifications for _your_ future, _and_ everyone else's." With a cruel gleam in her eyes, she and the facsimile vanished, and Lightning stood on solid ground just outside the opening to Poltae.

She grunted and glanced around. Early morning sunlight beamed over the tops of the cliffs, dusty gold in the hazy atmosphere, while specks of pollen and dust drifted through the air. The smell of minerals, wet soil, and vegetation filled her lungs with a refreshing, calming scent.

Part of her wanted to just sit and watch the sun creep up into the sky for a few minutes and take it all in.

Her mind reminded she had not the time to do so.

With a flutter of her robes, she crunched across the shale and gravel underfoot toward the schism in the rock, one of only a small few pathways to the little village. She had come through during her first visit to the temple, but avoided it when exiting, choosing instead a heavily-vegetated crevice only Odin could comfortably scale. As she walked, she sensed a surge of chaos nearby and gritted her teeth, somehow pinning her feelings and flashbacks to the floor of her mind, where they squealed and screamed for release.

"Have you made your decision, Liberator?"

She slowed, and stopped. "Caius, I–" Suddenly, she did not know what to say, turning to see his stern features and exhausted violet eyes, hardly changed from yesterday evening. In the morning light, he seemed even less dangerous than before – like a weary old man, not a world-destroying monster, a broken warrior who needed rest. She faltered, aware her mouth hung open, but not sure what else to say.

_Say something_, a voice deep inside whispered.

"It… wasn't your fault, Snow's transformation." The words _almost_ surprised her, but when she thought about it, they made perfect sense. Yes, his presence had triggered the bad memories, but who had ignored logic and demanded he come despite his _own warnings_? "I chose to bring you. Snow's transformation is, ultimately, my fault, even if you were the catalyst. I must make it up to him. I _must_ try to save him as I work toward the end."

Caius looked too tired to argue. "Then what of myself?"

"You?" She looked him over, head to toe, taking in the ancient armor and how he stood like a warrior should, as though he owned the world and earned the privilege. "I… I will keep you with me for now. But I can't have any more _incidents_. Our agreement was supposed to prevent that from happening. Your loyalties need to be to me and what I ask of you. Nothing else." Turning on her heel, hoping that it punctuated her words, she continued on into the village, feeling him close behind her.

He spoke once they had entered the cleft into which the village was set. "Lightning, if I may?"

She stopped and turned again, demanding, "What is it?"

"If my loyalty concerns you, then I shall set those worries to ease this moment." To her surprise, he took a single step back and lowered himself, with the grace and ease that had always annoyed and fascinated her, to one knee on the shale, a hand resting on that knee, the other touching the ground, head bowed. For a few moments, there was silence, and then, he said, as clear as crystal, "My loyalties are yours. From this moment on, you are my charge, and I am your sword. Your words are my will, your wishes my actions. Speak your words and command me, and I shall remain in your service until you need me no more."

Lightning did not realize her mouth hung open until a few more seconds of silence had passed. Caius straightened smoothly once again, arms at his sides, and looked her in the eye. The early morning breeze stirred her hair and his. She grew slowly aware of her own heartbeat, thudding softly in her ears.

"I, ah…" At a loss for words, she looked at the ground, then back up at him to find him still gazing at her, waiting for her to speak. "Wait. That was a _Guardian's_ pledge."

He tilted his head. "Either your perception is better than some, or I was far too obvious. But yes."

She swallowed. "I accept your words, Caius Ballad. But you are not my servant, or my slave. You are my ally, my comrade, in these difficult times. Remember that your place is at my side, not at my feet." She raised one hand and lifted her index finger, meeting his eyes. "And if you do one more misstep, I am throwing you into that temple where you can rot for eternity, and I _won't_ feel the least bit of regret. Do you understand?"

"As clearly as can be, Lightning," he said.

Lightning wasn't sure what to make of the events, but figured they would sort themselves out. Either way, she knew she had secured his loyalty – a Guardian could not willfully break his pledge of service. "Alright. I am here to see if any of these villagers know what could be–" As she spoke, she turned away, only to discover that several villagers, all dressed in their usual brown robes, were looking at them. A few spoke softly among themselves, and she felt oddly self-conscious beneath their gazes.

She heard and felt him move closer. "You needn't worry," he said. "Their eyes hold no hostility. They are merely curious about what just transpired."

She took a deep breath. "Caius, Hope worries you'll endanger me."

His steps sent puffs of dust up from the ground as he moved to stand before her. She looked up at him, again aware of his height and size compared to herself. "My purpose is not to endanger you. It is to make things as right as I can. I must leave this world better than I made it." His gaze fell from hers, brow furrowing, lips pressing tighter together, and when he looked back up, his eyes were more serious than ever. "No. No, it is not that. As of right now, it is also to protect you. I shall do all within my power to keep you safe."

"I'm not looking for protection, and I don't need it," she said firmly, crossing her arms.

"No, _you_ do not need to be protected, not directly, you are correct. However, the chaos can still warp your mind, and the monsters can still seek to destroy you. Beings of great power wander these lands. While you may be able to stop them all on your own, you will do it quicker with my help." Again, the breeze stirred his hair, making it shine blue-violet as it shifted. "It is less about protection and more about aid, you could say."

"Fine," she said, suddenly feeling uncomfortable beneath his gaze, but not knowing exactly why. "I'm here to see if they know anything that could help Snow."

She expected him to react, but though the skin around his eyes tightened, he only nodded.

When she turned this time, she saw the villagers milling about as usual, none of them looking her direction. She kept her head up and shoulders back, and when she walked, Caius matched her step for step, never drifting too far or too close, always exactly parallel to her. A warm, oddly pleasant feeling crept into her soul – he had pledged his loyalty to her with the kind of firmness and finality that she knew he would never revoke, and now she had a sword to wield so powerful that _nothing_ could stand in her way.

Something made her stomach flutter. _In_ _their_ _way_, she realized.

As they came down in the midst of the village, she realized it was actually a hub of muted but constant activity – a few small children loitering around a doorway from which a delicious smell wafted, elderly men and women doing their errands or sitting and talking quietly, younger women hustling in and out of a doorway that lead to what seemed to be a hospice, young men tending to chocobos and skinning animals for meat.

Lightning stopped, surprised, and placed a fist on her hip. "They don't look sorry they left Luxerion," she muttered.

"I would say the Children of Etro are the ones missing out," Caius said. "This land is alive – Luxerion is a husk, its shell no protection from reality." He grunted softly and looked sidelong at her. "It is a land of death and the poison of the Order. _This_ land… it is _alive_."

She looked carefully at him, snagged by his words. By the way he _spoke_ them. "Caius?"

His eyes met hers. "Yes?"

"What is it about the Wildlands that fascinates you so?"

He said nothing for a moment, then murmured, "Ask me another time."

Lightning nodded, then looked to her left at a flicker of movement to see a young woman, her hood down and draped on her shoulders, with light brown eyes and freckled skin, approaching. She seemed anxious, but in a shy way, her hands toying with her robes. Lightning offered her the best smile she could muster, turning to face her, trying to look as disarming as possible.

The girl spoke first. "I'm Aeia," she said, returning the other's smile. "You must be the Liberator."

"Just 'Lightning'. You don't have to call me by my title."

She smiled wider and bowed slightly. "I saw you come through here… before. If you're who they say, you can help people in dire need." Her eyes widened, smile dropping off her face. "Who is the man with you?"

"This is Caius," she said. "He is helping me on my journey."

"Help? The Liberator was never intended to need any help. She _never_ had help, even when she–" The girl's eyes widened, and Lightning felt her own curiosity pique suddenly. "It's changed. The future has changed. No, no, not that much, no." She shook her head. "No, never mind. Forget what I said."

"Even when… what, Aeia?" Lightning pressed gently.

The girl sighed. "I know the Liberator spent time warring in Valhalla against he would bring about the end of the world and awaken Bhunivelze. That means you. We sometimes wonder what happened to the man you fought." She shrugged; Lightning tried not to look at Caius. "He won, though. Now, Etro's gone, and she's the only one who could have helped us." The girl looked solemn. "Poor Etro."

"I know what Etro was like," Lightning murmured. "She was a lonely creature and loved all of us, though she didn't seem to be particularly intelligent."

The girl laughed softly, her eyes sparkling. "No, she wasn't. She meant the best, but always ruined it. If it weren't for the catastrophes, I'd say she was like that one friend who wants to help in the kitchen, but always ends up throwing flour everywhere!" The girl seemed to find this particularly amusing, breaking into giggles, and even Lightning couldn't help smiling. "Sorry if I seem to make light of this devastation. We've had a lot of years to come to terms with everything that happened, and I've learned a lot."

Lightning jumped at the opening. "Can you tell me anything about this world, Bhunivelze, the chaos?"

"Can I? Of course I can, I listen!" She seemed pleased with herself. "What do you want to know? I have a pretty good memory, I can tell you lots of things! Though, it's probably not best to stand around talking in the middle of the plaza. Come on." She waved Lightning to follow her to a bench close to the door where the lovely smells were wafting out, their backs against the coarse stone walls. "Alright, better."

Lightning took a breath. "Is it true that only Etro can reverse the effects of chaos? Like, crystallizing after fulfilling a focus, or merging with an Eidolon, or becoming a Cie'th?"

The girl nodded. "Etro was a master of the chaos. She _was_ the chaos, in many ways. She could remove brands or reverse transformations, though the effects usually warped spacetime in some way. Usually, they were pretty minor, but then there was that time she broke the timeline." Aeia shook her head, threading her hands through her long, thin hair. "Not that she knew better. She didn't get the chance to."

Caius still stood, leaning against the rock, but though he looked relaxed, she knew he was listening and watching, ever a watchful Guardian, though close enough that she could turn in place and look up at his face. Right now, his hair obscured his features when she glanced at him.

"Didn't get the chance? Bhunivelze abandoned her, but that was a long time ago."

"Etro's basically a child. When she traveled to the realm of chaos, she barely had time to speak to Mwynn, so–"

Lightning raised a hand. "Wait. 'Mwynn'?"

"Oh, you don't know her? Oh, yeah, of course you don't." Aeia looked sheepish. "Nobody talks about her. The Order's struck her from their records, and modern peoples don't know about her. Records exist buried in old ruins and stuff, places where nobody looks. Anyway, she's Bhunivelze's mother, you see?"

Caius's armor creaked. Even Lightning couldn't help staring. "Bhunivelze… had a _mother_?" she mumbled.

"Uh-huh," Aeia said. "He killed her, and she ended up in the Unseen Realm."

"Bhunivelze killed his own _mother_?" Lightning raised an eyebrow, leaning forward. "But _why_?"

"No one knows. It's a miracle we know _that_ much, honestly. I guess she had a lot of power, as much as Bhunivelze, or more, so maybe he killed her because of that."

"So, she's dead?" Lightning sighed. "Figures. She might've been able to help."

"Well…" Aeia screwed up her features. "…yeah, she got swallowed up, but chaos doesn't _destroy_ things so much as it absorbs them. If you're strong enough, you can avoid being sucked up by it." She tilted her head. "Or, so they say. But it doesn't matter – dead or alive, she can't be of any use to us, or she would've been already. If she still exists, the chaos is her prison now."

Lightning nodded in understanding. Bhunivelze had a mother. Bhunivelze had a _beginning_. "So, if Bhunivelze has a beginning, he must have an end," she murmured.

"Oh, I don't know about _that_. I wouldn't say he's mortal or anything, or can be killed. Maybe he can. Maybe the chaos can kill him, or something." She shrugged. "If he was 'born', it was probably through some way we wouldn't call 'reproduction'. We're talking about much weirder beings, after all, here." A giggle escaped her. "Why even worry about any sort of 'end'? Don't you hope he lives forever to watch over the new world?"

"That depends entirely on whether he keeps his end of the bargain." Lightning propped her chin on her hand. "We made a deal – I be his Liberator, he gives me back my dead sister."

"I see." The girl's eyes widened. "You wouldn't _actually_ try to kill him, right? I mean, if it doesn't happen?"

Lightning leveled her with a calm stare. "He has my sister."

"Oh, ah, uh… of course," she muttered, toying with her robes again. "Um… that's all I know. You can find murals and stuff in the ruins – the ones that are left, anyway. They might tell you more." She cleared her throat. "Is there anything else?"

Lightning crossed one leg over the other and looked around the village, trying to think of something to ask. "Does anyone here need help?"

"Well…" Aeia looked down. "Yes. I mean, really, we _all_ need help, but… there's someone in particular. He's sick."

"Sick? Why doesn't he just get a doctor?"

"We _have_ a doctor," she said. "It just isn't something we can treat. It's degenerative, or seems to be. Maybe someone with your power can help him. I know he keeps mumbling a name. A woman's name." She rubbed her forehead with one hand. "Maybe his life's flashing before his eyes or something."

Lightning leaned against the cliff. "Where is he?"

She looked up. "The hospital. His name's Taleb, and he's dying. Or, at least, we think he is."

Aeia leapt up before Lightning could say anything more, and so she was forced to follow the girl across the plaza toward the other door – the one the young women were ducking in and out of. Lightning shouldered her way in, and the way seemed to part for her – whether a result of her rank or her boldness, she didn't know, or care. As she came into the room, she spotted several cots and a man in what seemed to be hunting gear stretched out on one, restless, his arms twitching and body writhing in constant motion.

Lightning moved over to the man's side, watching the light cast her shadow over him. As he tossed and turned, teeth gritted in obvious pain, he murmured words.

"Why haven't you _killed_ me yet?" he demanded in a low voice. "Come _on_, Cardesia, _kill_ me! Kill me!"

"Cardesia?" She looked up at a nurse at her side.

The young woman shrugged. "It's the name of a woman who used to live in the Jagd Woods not far from here, but that was centuries ago, when Academia was still a grand city. She was a great apothecary, one of the best. If she's still alive, someone that direction may know of her."

"Really, no one's looked?"

"Taleb tosses and turns and cries out her name for hours every night." It was an older woman who spoke now, her hair shoulder-length and almost white, age-lined face unimpressed; Lightning gave a small bow of the head at the sight of her. "We know nothing of her. It has been a slow, painful suffering."

She glanced at him. "Is it as bad as it looks?"

The woman's lips quirked. "Not so much at the moment. We've treated him well."

"Cardesia, _please_." Taleb's pitiful cries broke into her thoughts, drawing her attention, and she eyed him as she sidestepped away. He repeated her name a few more times.

"Then why does he look so pained?" Lightning had to ask, looking back at the woman.

"Because he has been suffering for years – well over a century or more, in constant degenerative pain. We cannot determine the cause, and we haven't found a cure." She sighed and looked away. "If this 'Cardesia' is still alive, then perhaps she can help him… or kill him, as the point may be."

"Where did Taleb come from? Was he always one of your people?"

"No, he came from Academia originally. When the chaos came, he stumbled around in the wilderness for a few years before we found him as a wild man." The woman sighed. "Hardly a day goes by that he doesn't say this woman's name. He's been doing it since we found him, really. Perhaps the chaos is burning his heart."

Lightning looked at Caius, who looked as expressionless as usual. She pursed her lips a moment. "Well, if no one else wants to look, I will, when I can." She sighed. "Is there anyone else here who needs me?"

"None I can think of," Aeia said. "I'll let you know, though."

Lightning nodded, then glanced over at the other cots. Most were empty, except for one with a middle-aged man glaring down at the bandage on his legs, flicking it lightly with one finger. Amused, she moved closer, and he looked up at her when was a few feet away.

"If you must know, I scraped myself chasing some stupid boy last night," he said suddenly.

"It was more than a scrape, Dale," a nurse said.

The man grunted. "Yeah, whatever."

"Some boy?" She frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Eh, some kid came chargin' in here last night and went straight to the temple. 'Bout killed himself. Eh."

"Dale, stop picking at the bandage."

"I'm not picking!" he said, snatching his hand away from his leg. "I'm not."

"He went to the temple?" Battling the sinking feeling in her stomach, she took a step closer. "What did he look like? Did he come back through here?"

"Couldn't get a good look, but he was tallish and dark-haired. And no, he didn't come back."

Lightning turned away, rubbing her forehead with one hand, before hearing her companion whisper her name. Confused, she met his eyes, to which he pursed his lips and nodded slightly toward the open door. "Thank you, Dale," she murmured. "Take care of yourself."

Aeia stared at them as they exited the hospital; Lightning turned to Caius and raised her eyebrows.

"The boy who came here was Noel," he said.

Lightning bit down on her lip. "Somehow, I knew it – but why would he?"

"To find Yeul." His gaze drifted to the temple spires, just visible over the crest of the ruins between them and the village. "The chaos was overwhelming him when I found him, threatening to imprison him much as I am, but I pried him free and threw him away from it." A few moments of silence passed before his gaze returned to hers. "He is safe in Ruffian. He would be badly disoriented if I had not placed him into a deep sleep. He will not wake until I allow it. We will need to go there before he can be reawoken."

"He's safe." She sighed, relieved. "Thank you."

The man nodded once. "Should we try to find Cardesia first?"

"That may be best. I don't know if I can stand to see Taleb suffering like that. Anyone, really." She ran her fingers through her hair and glanced in the direction of the woods. "Need to find Odin, now that I think about it. Could the chaos have caused him enough suffering that he can't help obsessing over this woman?"

"Chaos can amplify existing feelings and embody memories, as you saw with Sazh. That is how it controlled him. It may be doing the same with this woman of Taleb's past."

"Right," she said. "Let's see if we can find her."

As they started off, Aeia suddenly said, "Be careful. The chaos is nasty."

"I noticed," Lightning told her. "I've run into my share of chaos-infused monsters."

"Watch out for the people, too!" she shouted. Lightning stopped and looked at her, frowning. "The chaos doesn't hurt _everyone_, you know. Some people have an affinity to it. I think they keep to themselves, mostly, but I've heard stories. Please be careful." She wrung her hands and turned away.

As they left the village, Lightning reached out, calling silently for her steed, but in doing so, the press of Caius's chaos felt stronger than normal. Gritting her teeth against the sensation, she wriggled past it, searching the nearby area for any sign of Odin, who left a distinct sensation in his wake. The harder she tried, though, the stronger the feeling of her companion's heart became, until it became like a physical discomfort.

"Caius, your heart is like a solar fire."

He stopped dead in his tracks. "What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean." Withdrawing, letting the sensation of him fade away, she faced him. "I wish I could help calm the storm a little, but I don't know how just yet. Please try to keep it under control."

"It will not work like that, Lightning."

She frowned. "That so."

"Believe me when I say you cannot temper this storm."

Annoyed, she turned her back, briefly remembering his outburst in the Dead Dunes. "Does it have anything to do with you being chained down by Yeul?" she asked. When he did not respond, she folded her arms and said, "Fine. If that's how it has to be, so be it. If you can't hold it in, I guess I'll just need to deal with it."

"I am doing what I can, Lightning."

Noting the strain in his voice, she _almost_ looked back at him. "Fine. I'll deal."

Though she searched for Odin, he seemed nowhere nearby and did not come when she called out for him. They made their way into the Jagd Woods without him, having to cross a silent canyon of granite and shale while avoiding monsters infected by chaos and wild beasts alike. The last obstacle preventing them from easily leaving the canyon was a nearly sheer, rocky cliff. Lightning began scaling it without hesitation, not vexed by its apparent difficulty, and halfway up looked around in concern for her missing steed.

Odin had always been with her, a friend and comrade, helping her battle insurmountable odds. Never had he failed to come to her side. Never had he vanished for no reason.

Lightning called out into the canyon, but nothing responded save for the moan of the wind.

"He would have come to you by now," Caius said, still at the bottom of the cliff – no doubt waiting for her to finish the climb before coming up himself. "I do not believe he is anywhere nearby, and…" He hesitated; she saw his expression turn thoughtful. "…I cannot sense him, either."

Battling her worry, she continued her climb. Two-thirds of the way up, a handhold gave out, crumbling in her grip, but she caught a jutting stone and kept from sliding. Once she reached the top, Caius appeared before her, waiting for her to stand. She almost didn't want to – the cliff-top was carpeted in green grass and dotted with tiny, colorful wildflowers, shafts of sunlight filtering through the canopy and butterflies flitting from flower to flower.

When she remained where she was, staring at the landscape, he knelt at her shoulder. "Are you alright?"

Without looking at him, she said, "Yeah. Just looking."

"I see." He sighed. "Yes, it is beautiful."

Lightning finally forced herself onto her knees, then up onto her feet. Caius stood with her. She looked at him, at the light streaming through the leaves onto his skin, his hair, his armor, the way it somehow made him look disarming rather than terrifying, and found herself saying, "Is this how all of Gran Pulse was?"

"What I saw of it was at least this beautiful, or more so," he told her, in a voice softer than what she was used to.

She hesitated a few moments, then started to move past.

"And soon, it will all be gone, destroyed by the chaos. It will not even survive into the next realm."

He had spoken the words almost too quietly for her to hear, but they caused her to stop, sensing the weight behind his words, and look back at him. He looked away from her, off into the distance, as though he saw things she never could – years, maybe. Centuries. Things as they once were, perhaps.

As birds chirped overhead, she said, softly, "You're like a storm one moment and a breeze the next. I can't make out who you are or what you want."

As though her voice had broken some sort of spell, he faced her, back to the way he had been minutes ago. "This path will take us deeper into the woods," he told her. "The only village in the area is not far from here. It will only be a few minutes of walking. Be mindful of flying beasts."

Lightning shook away her confusion and stifled a groan as she continued on.

Most of the "flying beasts" between them and the village consisted of butterflies, large moths, and smaller insects, though they did encounter a small group of creatures he referred to as "dryads" – spindly creatures that looked as though they belonged embedded in a tree trunk as branches rather than actual organisms. Their bodies splintered like wood and distributed pollen-like puffballs when they disintegrated, in addition to wisps of chaos.

Lightning had to ask. "Did the chaos give them life?"

"Not life," he said, "merely animation, a mimicry of it. It is as it appears – they did indeed used to be trees."

She glanced around at her surroundings. "Creepy," she muttered.

Deeper into the woods, they crossed a small valley bisected by a shallow stream of clear, cool water she splashed through on her way. Several animals that had been sunbathing or drinking from the stream scattered with small cries as she came through, again leaving them to encounter another group of dryads. They were easily dispatched, though this time she hardly got the chance to draw her sword before they suddenly puffed into flame and floated to the forest floor as ash. She gave Caius an accusatory look.

His expression was neutral, except for a faint curve to his lips betraying amusement and smug satisfaction. "It is not as though they suffered," he said.

Biting back a sharp retort, she replaced her sword and continued on.

They made their way through sun-dappled clearings and past thick-trunked, flowering trees that filled the air with a soft, warm scent, and Lightning slowed, the sensations of her surroundings seeping into her flesh. For a moment, the press of time was forgotten as she took in the landscape – the carpet of greenery underfoot, the insects fluttering from flower to flower, the songbirds in the trees, the scent of flowers thick in the breeze…

"It reminds me of Bodhum," she muttered.

There was silence; she glanced back to see Caius looking quizzical.

"Ah, Bodhum," she said. "It's where I came from, back on Cocoon. It was a coastal town, not huge but hardly blink-and-you'll-miss it. I was part of the Guardian Corps there, in that regiment. It's what kept Serah and I afloat after our parents left us alone. We didn't have extended family."

"Cocoon," he said. "I went there after the Fall. Yeul wished to keep an eye on Serah and Noel."

"You weren't there to hurt them?" As she finished, she stopped and half-turned, looking him in the eye.

"In the early centuries of their travels, no," he said firmly. "My purpose was to observe, as several Yeuls requested of me. Though I had determined they were causing the future to change, she requested I do nothing to stop them." He hesitated. "It seems, at that time, I listened to her."

"Yeah, you didn't seem to so keen on behaving by the time I met you."

He seemed very interested in the grass. "No," he said.

They did not speak again until they reached the village proper, tucked away beyond a fissure in the granite cliffs that walled off sections of the forest. The first thing that greeted her was what appeared to be a stripped-down variant of an open-air market, wrapping around an enormous tree in the center of the village that spread its branches in a brown-and-green web overhead. Sunlight filtered through, dappling the forest floor in a checkerboard-like pattern of yellow-green light and gray shadows.

It took a moment for her to realize that a man, dressed in garb that reminded her of a hunter's, was staring at them. When she looked back, he folded his arms and kept staring hard.

Finally, she said, "What?"

His face was that of an upper-middle-aged man, weathered and lined. "You're a new face. Need something?"

She hesitated, glancing at Caius, but he said nothing. "I'm looking for Cardesia. Is she here?"

"What do you want with her?"

"To help a sick – even dying – man," she said. "Where is she?"

He shook his head. "At the apothecary on the other side of the tree. Don't cause trouble."

On the other side of the tree was a relatively well-off apothecary, staffed by a single woman who looked to just be reaching middle age, with short dark hair and an unfocused gaze. As Lightning approached, the woman looked up from her work, but said nothing, though she did not look hostile.

"Cardesia?" Lightning ventured quietly.

"That's me." The woman smiled. Her voice was somewhat hoarse. "And you must be…?"

"Uh, Lightning." She extended a hand to shake the other woman's. "I heard you were the apothecary here."

"Heard that, did you?" She coughed once and cleared her throat. Lightning frowned slightly. "Well, whoever told you forgot to mention that I'm the best in the Wildlands. You have the Academy doctors to the north, but they just stab you with needles and tell you to lie down." She laughed, though halfway through, her voice cracked. "Erm, uh, anyway, yes, that's me. You came here for a reason. What for?"

Lightning said, "I need to ask you something." Cardesia nodded; Lightning glanced around the apothecary, seeing herbs on strings and various other goods arranged in neat piles or in boxes around the hut. "I was in the village of Poltae and found a man named Taleb who wouldn't stop saying your name."

"Oh." Cardesia's features crinkled a little. "Oh, ah, yes, him. Him. I know him. It's a name I haven't heard in many years, but it's one that hasn't left my mind in all of them, either." She looked at the ground. "It's been so long since I have even spoken of him, but he apparently hasn't forgotten me."

Curious, Lightning tilted her head. "Is there something about you two in particular?"

"Well," she said, "not what you're thinking. We were friends many, _many_ years ago. We grew up together. The thing is, I'm not able to help him right now, not just yet."

She blinked. "Can't, or won't?"

Suddenly, she broke into a coughing fit – painful-sounding coughs that wracked her body and caused her to double over, and when they stopped, she wheezed trying to take in a breath. Her skin went pale; Lightning stepped forward, laying a hand on Cardesia's shoulder.

After a few moments, she recovered enough to straighten and gave the rose-haired woman a smile. "Don't worry about me. I probably won't die before the end comes if I survived this long. But no, I can't help. I'm missing a lot of ingredients, and I don't have the strength to get them. It's a special elixir, and it has to be done right." She hesitated, then sighed quietly. "The first time."

"What do you mean? What's wrong with–" Hesitating, she studied the woman's lined face and sad smile, glancing at Caius once, then returning to Cardesia. "Ah. It isn't a normal sickness, is it?"

She glanced at the ground. "No."

A few moments of awkward silence passed. "I... see." Unsure what else to say, Lightning stepped back, folding her arms. "Well, ah, I can try to help you. I _am_ the Liberator. My purpose is to help people, and I'll do what I can. Tell me what you need and where I can find it."

"You don't have to," she said with a shrug. "I can get the others in the village to help."

"If that were the case, you'd have done it already."

Cardesia visibly hesitated, then met Lightning's eyes with a genuine smile. "Well, alright, if you wish. I've heard about the Liberator, so I'm sure you can help me."

She turned away, opening a box sitting in the corner, and carefully withdrew a piece of paper, crisp and white as though it had been written on moments ago. She handed it to Lightning, who took it and spent a moment admiring the cool whiteness of the paper, the elegant calligraphy of the apothecary's handwriting, and the faint traces of gold ink that decorated the edges of the paper. The woman had taken great care in creating the list, she realized, so she folded it as neatly as she could without crinkling it and fitted it gently into her hip bag.

"I can see you put a lot of care into this." Lightning looked her in the eye. "I will take good care of it and bring those ingredients back to you as soon as I can."

Cardesia coughed for a few moments before smiling. "Oh, thank you, Lightning. I appreciate it." As she finished, her gaze drifted – over to Caius, Lightning realized. "I haven't been introduced to your friend here. He seems rather quiet, though. What's your name, stranger?"

Before Lightning could respond, Caius moved beside her and gave a small dip of the chin. "Caius."

"Caius? That's an interesting name." She hesitated, as though thinking, then smiled. "Well, it's good to meet you. I'm sure our paths will cross again, if you're with Lightning. Come back and see me, you two."

Lightning nodded and turned away. It wasn't until they had left the village that she pulled out the paper again, unfolding it to study the elegant calligraphy again. "Some of these ingredients can be found in the Wildlands," she said. "It looks like a couple she marked as being in Luxerion at an herb shop and... hmm, one here in Yusnaan. Why would it be in Yusnaan? It's not exactly a place of herbal medicines."

"It is a land where many cultures intersect, however."

Lightning looked up at him. "I suppose you're right. Well, I guess we can visit later. I'll need to come back with a bag to gather these items here in the Wildlands. There's no way I can carry them in my two arms." She smiled slightly into the distance. "You said Noel was in Ruffian?"

Caius nodded. "It seemed the safest place to send him at the time. The fool needs his rest." Though he spoke firmly, the words seemed to carry an undercurrent of warmth. "You said you had wanted to investigate the ruins after dark. I can allow him to wake now, but he will have no strength until we arrive. Only then will I allow it."

She nodded. "Then wake him. But why so keen on keeping him there?"

He folded his arms. "Noel might try to return to the temple, or he may get himself hurt another way. It is simply best to leave him be for now. Fang and Sazh can take care of him until the night comes."

She glanced around. "Where _is_ Odin?" she murmured.

Caius also glanced around. "Concerned?"

"Well, yeah. This doesn't seem like him." Rubbing her fingertips together, she shifted her weight, then returned the paper to the bag. "Maybe he'll be here the next time we come," she said, but even to her own ears, her words did not sound convinced. "I hope so, anyway. That's strange. He _never_ abandons me."

"Would he know that you are here?"

"I would think so. I've been calling and calling, so he should've heard me." Fighting a wave of concern, she turned her focus back to the mission. "I don't like this, but I can't do anything about it right now. Let's go back to Luxerion and see what we can find. Maybe I can fill the hours by saving some people."

* * *

Fang stood with her arms folded over the sleeping form of a brown-haired young man, no older than Vanille at least, flopped down in a cushioned chair outside her quarters, in clear view of the rest of Ruffian. While she had never met Noel in person, she had seen his face on an Order bulletin before leaving Luxerion and caught glimpses of him while she and Vanille were sleeping in the crystal pillar. Despite his somewhat ragged appearance and sullied skin, it was definitely Noel Kreiss, Serah's companion through time.

And according to Adonis, he had very suddenly appeared in a puff of chaos in that chair.

"In the middle of night, out of nowhere? And he hasn't moved?" She looked over at her number two, who rubbed a hand across his blond ponytail and shrugged a shoulder. Rolling her eyes, she returned her attention to Noel, who seemed peaceful enough at the moment. "Weird. Any ideas?"

"Not really," Adonis muttered. "He just kind of... wasn't there, and then, poof, there he was."

She sighed. "Like magic, yeah?"

"Pretty much, boss." Adonis shrugged again. "Should we leave him?"

Fang scrutinized the teen. He seemed peaceful and well, as though he were just in a deep, dreamless sleep. It was a bit like crystal stasis, without the crystal. "Seems to be some of kind of magic-induced sleep or something. He must have been put there for a reason. Might as well leave him be."

"Well, nobody here's gonna bother him, and..." Stepping closer, he gave the teen's shoulder a good shove. All it did was loll Noel's head to the other side. "...frankly, it's not like he's gonna care either. If he's been sitting here this long, for this many hours, a few more won't kill him.""

Fang hid her amusement. "Let's leave Sleeping Beauty there and check on him later. Either he'll die of starvation, or he'll wake up. No use standin' here like–"

Noel picked that moment to stir, groaning and extending a hand, the fingers groping at empty air. Fang stared at him, mouth still hanging open from the last thing she'd said, and didn't move, waiting while he stirred and tried to stand, but his legs gave out and he collapsed back in the chair. The groans became words, badly slurred, but they were just clear enough that she could make out a few words strung into senseless sentences.

"Whoa, there, sit yourself back down and stay," she said, firmly pushing him down into the chair again. He gave a groan of protest, but she ignored him. "Go back to sleep."

Adonis scoffed. "Huh, go figure. Fancy that, him waking up _just_ now."

"Yeul?" One of Noel's deep blue eyes cracked open, but immediately closed tight. He covered his eyes with both hands, again groaning in discomfort and confusion. "Wha... Yeul? Wait, who are _you_? Who are–" Again he tried to stand, and again she pushed him back down. He began to struggle, but his movements were weak, as though he were still functioning in a half-sleep state. It took no effort for Fang to hold him down.

"Noel, hey, it's me, Fang. You've never met me, I've never met you, so, good to meet ya and all. Hate to meet under these kinds of circumstances but will you _sit down_!" She punctuated by shoving him back down harder.

His eyes reopened. "Aw, man... it's really bright... Fang? Wait, Fang?"

"Yeah, yeah, the one and only." She kept him in his seat with both hands, but at least he'd stopped wriggling. "Now, stay right here and rest. You've been out for some hours."

"Yeah." He shook his head. "It's... daytime. It wasn't wh..." A yawn interrupted him.

"Yeah, that's right." Half-smiling, she tousled his hair with one hand as he settled back into the seat, obviously trying very hard to wake up. "Just take your time. Wake up nice and slow. You're safe in Ruffian."

His eyes flew open. "Wait a minute. Where is _that_?"

"Uh, Dead Dunes. You got dropped here." Fang exchanged a glance with Adonis.

"Dead Dunes?" Noel rubbed a hand across his face. "That's where I was going anyway, but... how did I end up here? I didn't... did anyone see? How did I get here?"

"You got dropped here by the chaos," Adonis said. "Don't try to move too fast, now."

"The chaos? I got dropped here by... maybe by Yeul?" His expression soured. "No, she sent me away. How did I get here?" Groaning, he dropped his face in both hands, and Fang met the eyes of her number two, confused as ever.

* * *

_Sorry about the wait on this chapter. It gave me a bit of a headache. But! In exchange, I give you the Exposition Dump! This chapter may look like filler, but it actually has a purpose in the narrative - all these little pieces will fit in eventually, you'll see. Anyway, please drop a review and let me know what you think!_


	24. The Best Laid Plans

_**23 The Best Laid Plans**_

Luxerion had occupied most of their time, running errands and searching for the ingredients to Cardesia's elixir. They had facilitated the healing of a grave illness, spoken to a man about a lost journal of his, run into Chocolina again, and a dozen other tasks before the sun had fallen into the early evening hours. As the world cooled and the first of the stars came out, Lightning finally had the chance to stop running around at full speed. Only then did she leave Luxerion's gloom, briefly jumping through the chaos-tainted Historia Crux and landing on the sun-warmed sand of the desert, a short distance from Ruffian's entrance.

Caius moved faster than her when he teleported, melding in and out of the chaos at will, and was already waiting for her when she arrived, stock-still, shoulders back, hands clasped behind his back, watching her as she approached the entrance. In the fading reddish-gold light, he almost looked like a bronzed statue.

As she passed, she sensed his storm-like presence and subconsciously withdrew from it, but resisted the urge to give him a bit of a berth. "This is the last thing I will be doing before I return to the Ark," she said.

Caius fell in step to her side and slightly behind her. "You will need your rest."

She nodded slowly. "Day Four is almost over. Hard to believe."

"Not to worry. You will have plenty of time yet."

She gave a short, bitter laugh – forced, she knew. "Time is a luxury, Caius. Thirteen days is all I get, and no more. It sounds like a lot until you're in the middle of it."

Silence, then, "Perhaps."

There was something irritating about his apathetic responses. He may have sworn himself to his service, but she knew that his ultimate goal was still to soften Yeul's burden, and his service to _her_ was little more than another way to accomplish that. Still, she knew the gesture meant he would no longer be a threat.

At least it meant she could turn her back.

Inside Ruffian, torches had been lit on the walls and lanterns hung from rafters, bathing the area in a golden glow that cast soft shadows. In the cooling of the night, the place had become much more lively – shopkeepers open, the bar bustling, loudmouthed vagabonds shouting and telling tales at the tops of their lungs. The sound of shattering glass over at the bar told her about all she needed to know.

"Oh, good, you're here!" Fang's familiar, accented voice cut through the din as though she'd practiced doing that exact thing all her life, and she greeted Lightning with a lopsided grin and pat on the shoulder. "Thought you'd never show up! Too good for us ruffians, yeah?"

"Yeah, right, and leave _you_ without a chaperon?" Lightning shook her head. "With _that_ attitude?"

"Hey, now," Fang said, mock-sternly, "I'm not so bad." Her green eyes shifted to Caius and her expression instantly soured. Folding her arms, she gave him a quick look up and down. When Lightning also turned her gaze to him, she saw him gazing stone-faced back at the woman, back straight and shoulders squared – as though her show of bluster and disgust were little more than a breeze brushing a stone wall. "I assume you got him on a leash?"

It was Lightning's turn to go sour-faced. "I don't have him on a _leash_."

Fang's gaze briefly darted to her, then she shook her head and ran one hand through her unruly hair. "Huh," she muttered. "Alright, then. Think I got somethin' of yours, by the way. Lose a mop-haired kid with an attitude?"

"Mop-haired– ah," she said with sudden understanding. "Noel's here?"

"Yeah, just fell right down in that chair over there." Fang turned and extended an arm in one movement, nearly clotheslining an explorer walking by. As he passed, he looked momentarily frightened, and Lightning watched with mild amusement. "Plop. There he was. But he ain't getting' up."

"That so? Is he not able to?"

"Don't seem to be. Like he ain't got a use of legs or somethin'."

Lightning looked at Caius, who silently met her gaze and nodded. She followed Fang to the other side of the lobby, threading their way through the crowd, to Noel, sprawled out in a chair and staring dejectedly at the floor. As they approached, he raised his head, but didn't seem to be completely awake, his unfocused gaze passing right through her. At either side, his fingers, spread out, twitched slightly.

"Noel?" she said, moving closer. "Hey." But he didn't respond, still staring through her. He seemed to see her, but was unable to make sense of what he saw.

Caius moved past her and waved a hand in the air over Noel. Immediately, startling her, Noel's eyes focused and he sprang to his feet, glaring daggers at the dark-haired warrior, a hand going to one of his swords. Fang snapped off a warning and moved between them, but wasn't in time to keep Noel from slashing out with a sword, blade singing through the air. Caius took a single step back, dipping his head just enough to avoid the swing.

"_Noel_!" Lightning joined Fang and gave Noel what she knew was her best look of irritation.

His gaze cleared, and he slowly returned his sword to his back. Caius, for his part, still looked unconcerned – even, if she dared think it, a little bit bored – though his eyes were hard with disapproval. "I don't think I... knew where I was, for a second," the younger man murmured, shaking his head very slightly, then running a hand down his face and blinking a few times. "I'm... I'm sorry."

"You should have known better than to react in such a way," Caius told him. "I _taught_ you better than that."

Noel looked tired and slightly distressed. "I was in a stupor, having day-nightmares. I couldn't move, could hardly so much as _breathe_, couldn't see... I was just... swamped in memories. Not the least of which involved you smirking in my head while the sky cracked open."

Lightning caught a twitch in Caius's expression, betraying some fleeting emotion she didn't dare name. "I am sorry you had to relive that. It had not been my intention."

"Your inten–" The other man's eyes widened, then narrowed. "_You_ put me in that stupor? _You_ did this? _Why_?"

"To keep you safe until we arrived. You were sick from the chaos."

Noel blinked. "Did... _you_ pull me out?"

Caius's expression softened. "Yes."

The other man looked very confused, gaze shooting between Caius and Lightning and occasionally darting over to Fang, who still looked annoyed, and the tension eased out of his body as his hand, all this time still clasped to the grip of his sword, slid back down his side. He bowed his head.

"What happened in there?" he said, almost in a whisper. "What did the chaos do to me?"

"There were many factors," the dark warrior responded, "but in essence, your tumultuous heart called to the chaos, and it tried to take you away to the dark, as it was what you wished."

Deep blue eyes met amethyst ones. "No. Never."

"You cannot lie to the chaos, Noel," Caius told him. "It exists in your heart and betrays you. That which you had desired, the chaos had been willing to give. You would have existed eternally in the dark, surrounded by a facsimile of that which you longed most for."

"No. No, no, _no_..." Covering his face with both hands, he rubbed his forehead with his fingertips. "I went there to see Yeul. That's _all_. That was _all_."

"The chaos knew that. The temple exists atop the fountainhead, Noel, the crack in space and time through which its energy flows. Very soon, it shall breach what is left of the dam and devour this world." Caius spoke without emotion, but Lightning sensed the storm that was his heart darken further. "If you _ever_ wish to see her again, Noel, you must help us. Only then can your wish be truly fulfilled."

When his eyes reopened and focused, Lightning saw solemn determination in them. Noel was not healed of the dark that had pervaded his soul for five centuries. It would take more than some talking and a few nights alone to fix the wounds he still bore from his self-inflicted suffering.

"If it gets me to see her again," he murmured, "then I'm prepared to do anything."

"Yeah, I know," Lightning broke in, "and I saw the results myself."

The color drained out of his face. "It's... not like–"

Fang apparently had heard enough. "We can talk about our feelings later, ladies and gentlemen," she said, sternly enough to bring all eyes back to her. "Ain't a big deal right now, anyway. We all got problems. Anyway, it's a long walk to the ruins, and you need to be as prepared as possible, alright? Get somethin' to eat and meet us back here in the lobby in half an hour. You got that?"

"Is it really that far?" Lightning frowned at Fang.

"Yeah. Your feet are guaranteed to get sore and your knees to take a beatin'. Trust me, get some food in ya before you start marchin'. You'll regret it if you don't." She folded her arms. "Sazh will be goin' with us, so don't be shocked if he shows up, okay? The bar's a great place to eat right now."

The sound of shattering glass and a dull _thump_ caused Lightning to raise her eyebrows. "You sure?"

"Yeah, it's fine." Fang wasn't concerned. "Go on."

Lightning exchanged a look with Caius. Noel placed his hands on his stomach. "Food sounds amazing right now," he muttered. "Lived off scraps and cheap meals a long time now. Be nice to eat somewhere they don't have a sweet bounty on my head, you know?" He smiled a little.

When they investigated the bar, it was as full of boisterous patrons as she'd suspected, groups of them parked all over. Volume seemed to be on the verge of "out-shout the other guy", while glasses teetered precariously on table edges or in the limp hands of drunkards. The waiters made the best time of it they could, weaving through the crowds with enviable finesse, while overhead the fans stirred the smoky air and red lamps gave the entire place a strangely inviting ambiance she rather liked.

Caius stood at her shoulder, mildly amused, while Noel only said with a sigh, "Seen worse."

Lightning waded in and selected a table against the wall, which allowed her to place her back to it and see all around at the same time. Caius sat to her right, close enough that his back was more or less to the wall, while Noel sat to her left, elbows on the tablet and staring down at it. The only words spoken for a long while were to the waiter, taking their orders and then hurrying away to make them up. Lightning's gaze drifted to Caius, finding the way the light outlined his features in red fire somewhat fascinating, while Noel toyed with his utensils.

"Is there something I can assist you with, Lightning?"

She mentally cursed. "No, Caius."

His gaze shifted to meet hers directly. "Are you certain?"

He had caught on to her stare. The problem was that even she didn't know what she found so interesting about what she saw there. "Very," she said. After a pause, she settled back in her chair and interlaced her fingers, resting her hands on the table. "So, Caius, tell me, did you really have to pull Noel free?"

When he turned his head, his hair blocked the light, casting soft shadows across his features. "I had no other option."

"I'm not sad you did it," Noel said. "Just can't believe it happened."

Caius's eyes remained fixed on hers. "No matter what may have transpired between us, it changes nothing in the grand scheme of things. I may be here to ease Yeul's burden, to make her transition to the world beyond this one as peaceful as possible, but I do not object to helping those whom I hurt."

Noel leaned back with a sigh. "Look, you might have 'helped' back in Luxerion, but I spent a lot of years with the memory of your triumph trapped in my head. You pulled me free, sure, and for some reason it looks like you're all chummy with Lightning, but it doesn't change the past."

Now Caius looked at him. "You are correct, Noel, it does _not_ change the past. With that in mind, can you accept that it may yet change your future?"

The younger man didn't seem to know what to say to that and looked away.

The meals for Lightning and Noel arrived a few minutes later – cheap and delicious combinations of vegetables, cactus, meat, and spice blends – and she ate in complete silence. Noel picked at his food for a minute, turning over pieces with his fork, before he finally decided where to start and began to eat. He said nothing, and Caius sat still as a statue, hands folded on the table, watching their surroundings.

"Guess the party really doesn't start 'til I'm here, huh?"

Lightning looked up at the familiar voice and smiled at the sight of Sazh standing over the table. He had changed his clothes out for what appeared to be brand-new threads – canvas pants with many pockets, a beige shirt and green jacket similar to the one he had worn so long ago – and returned her smile. His chocobo was nowhere in sight.

"We were just waiting for you to make it interesting," she told him.

"Good, figured as much." Sazh took the only free chair and flagged down a waiter. Once he had finished ordering, he looked over at Noel. "Well, I'll be – Noel, that you?"

Noel met his gaze, blinked, then recognition came. "Man, Sazh, how long has it been?" he said, reaching over to give the other man a light fist-bump. "Last time I saw you had to have been... what, a couple centuries back now? Has it really been that long?"

"Think so. I didn't pay a lot of attention to the time passing." Sazh tilted his head. "You look awful."

Noel pouted. "Thanks, Sazh. Appreciate it, really."

"Fang told me what's going." Sazh looked over at Lightning. "So, as I understand it, we're going out to the ruins on the other side of the desert to get the clavis. I guess the Order has done their share of tryin' to get it themselves, so we have to get it before they do. Lightning, she tells me you can open doors they can't?"

"So I've heard," she said. "We'll only know for sure when we get there. As long as we don't run into any beasts of chaos or Order members, we should be fine."

"I hope we don't run into the Order," Noel muttered. "They can be, ah, a little dangerous."

"A little?" Sazh raised an eyebrow.

The younger man smiled sheepishly and shrugged. "Okay, a lot dangerous."

"And if they get the clavis, Vanille will die. But why can't we just leave it there? If it's sealed up behind doors they can't open, why bother? If they can't get it without my help, then why does Fang even want to bother?"

Noel's eyebrows were practically at his hairline, while Sazh propped his chin on a hand and looked unfazed. "It's true they can't get to the clavis chamber, but that doesn't mean they won't try. Opening the doors would be the easiest way in, sure, but where there's a will, there's a way."

"They can't just drill into the rock, and I doubt anyone else can open it."

"Maybe. But Fang wants to destroy it anyway."

Lightning folded her hands and rested her chin on them. "That doesn't make a lot of sense. It stays behind doors she can't open, that the Order can't open, then it doesn't make a difference."

"You try to tell her that," Sazh sighed. "I tried already."

"No one else has my power," Lightning said firmly. "No one else _can_ do it."

Caius had not even moved during this entire exchange, but now he leaned forward, folding his arms on the table. "The Order is not simply a group of mad men," he said. "They worship Bhunivelze and are backed by his power. If he wishes the clavis to be retrieved, then he will make a way to do so–"  
"No, he wouldn't, he _promised_," she interrupted.

"–no matter what must be done to accomplish it." Caius spoke firmly over her, looking her right in the eye and making her momentarily unsure. He just seemed so _certain_. "Bhunivelze created one Liberator, but if he is as strong as it is said, then he can make another. Do not underestimate his capabilities."

Lightning brought a hand down on the table. The impact rattled everything on it, and the sting of the landing and loudness of the strike brought strength to her mind. "_No_. I'm not going to risk his wrath over something like this. It's going to be sealed up behind those doors as long as I don't go near them. The clavis will _kill_ Vanille, and it might do worse than that. That _can't_ be in his plan. Impossible. I refuse to do it."

"We know very little of Bhunivelze beyond what the Heretics told us. What makes you so certain?"

She sensed her certainty wavering. "He _promised_ me," she said, almost hissing the words. "He told me that if I do what he asks, he'll bring Serah back to me. I'm not going to do a _thing_ to risk him revoking that. Getting someone, an innocent, _killed_ probably isn't in his plan. No, Caius." She slid her hand off the table, aware of Noel, Sazh, and half the bar staring. "The clavis stays in the ruins."

She saw his features tighten, saw the signs of gathering anger. "It is better to destroy it _now_."

Lightning met his gaze, steady as stone, knowing that his vow to her meant she had the high ground. His gaze at last wavered before falling to the table, and he withdrew, dipping his chin.

Satisfied, she finished her meal with the others in silence before she stood, leaving the dish and utensils behind, and returned to the lobby. Fang was there, as before, dressed in an outfit the color of the woods while leaving her arms and legs freedom to move, shimmering in the torchlight – a wrap of silk, it seemed, similar to her old blue outfit and the golden one she had worn before – and standing before a group of what she assumed were bandits. She seemed to be lecturing them on the dangerous of the deep desert.

"You got your assignments," she said, "now get out there and do your work. Get lost, the lot of ya."

Fang had probably been expecting – or perhaps hoping – to greet a friendly face, a Lightning willing to cooperate and go into the ruins with her without a word. An hour ago, she might have, though she knew she would've still asked why she needed to go destroy something that couldn't be retrieved in the first place. Instead, Caius had gotten under her skin, so effectively, as he always somehow knew how to, and now she approached Fang with the sort of vigor that reminded of her old days, when her emotions were still real.

"Lightning, good, you r–" Fang stopped dead as Lightning, despite knowing she was the obviously shorter of the two, came right up to her. "Is there something–"

"Leave the clavis in the ruins. If you don't go after it, the Order can't get it, and we can get Vanille."

The other woman's expression soured. "It needs to be destroyed."

"Fang, if I don't open the doors, nobody gets it anyway." Lightning couldn't understand how Fang could be so obstinate. Destroying the clavis could save her, she knew, which only made this more difficult, but at the same time, who knew what would happen if something followed them in, or got between them and the clavis? "They can't open them in less than six days, or they would've by now. Let it go."

"I don't _trust_ the Order," Fang spat. "I left them behind for a reason, alright? And it was _because_ they were gonna do things like this, like what they're gonna do to Vanille! That clavis is the only thing they can count on to do whatever it is they wanna do. You don't think they're gonna try everything they can to _get_ it?"

"It doesn't matter, they _can't_ get it! Only the Liberator's power can open the path to the clavis!"

"You're _thick_, you know that? _Thick as ever_!"

"Fang is right, Lightning." Caius's voice was hard as stone and instantly drew her attention – and her ire. "It must be destroyed, or they will grow more desperate at the end."

She felt her composure crack as she faced him. "Caius, I'm not doing it. I'm not going after the clavis. If I don't open the doors, they can't–" A sudden tightening in her chest, over her heart, briefly interrupted her, but she battled past it, leaving only a scant gap in her words behind. "–they can't get to it. Bhunivelze won't make a way to do it, either, because killing an innocent can't be in his plan. I'm not bending to your panic, Fang. We have to focus on Vanille. If we get her away from the Order, she'll be safe, and the clavis won't matter. And we are–"

A flash of heat struck her chest like a white-hot poker piercing her body, and in the instant before she blacked out, she realized with a faint sense of panic that she couldn't breathe.

* * *

Vanille missed her window to the stars, the fresh breeze pouring in with its sweet scents, the sounds of night. She knew she would not experience any of it for much longer, and she enjoyed savoring what little she could still get in her gilded cage. Now, in the bowels of the cathedral, in its labyrinthine hallways of rock and polished marble, there was only the stink of chaos and chill of air that never stirred.

She was also trapped down here with Vashti, the high priestess, who preached and fawned over her at all hours. The older woman had been just an ordinary member of the Order once, she knew, with brown hair and a nice smile, even if she didn't always seem all that pleasant to be around. Now, her hair had turned silver and was kept cropped short, she rarely went anywhere within the complex without the elaborate golden mask that covered half her face, and she only smiled in malice or faked concern. Sometimes, she really _did_ hear Bhunivelze, one instance of which Vanille had witnessed herself, but it was rare, and she mostly blustered her way through everything.

Vanille sat upright, back against the wall, on a cot guarded on both sides by sentries. The only other people in the room were Cecil, a few other guards, several handmaidens, and Vashti, who sat at a desk murmuring to herself while flipping through some sort of book. The rustle of the pages sounded obnoxiously loud, as the only other sound was her own heart and breathing.

Vanille tried not to sigh at the sight. Vashti was clever, but also mad. She was zealous to the point of obsession about Bhunivelze, believing every small thing to be a sign, and she never cared who or what she had to crush under her heel to "do his bidding". The only one she really listened to was Vanille, and that was strictly because they couldn't risk losing the one person who could cleanse the chaos before purging her own soul.

It was cynical, and she would hate the woman if she didn't already think of herself as little more than a vessel to complete her final atonement.

At this, she bowed her head and steeled herself against her emotions.

Not even Lumina could visit here. They were in the Sanctum, the heart of the cathedral's labyrinth, not far from the chaos that swirled in the great antechamber, and so heavily fortified that an army would have to come down here to dig her out. The presence of the chaos clouded her mind, pressed down upon her like a great weight, made it hard to think, hard to function, and everything stunk like it. It was a smell she couldn't scrub out of her skin, and even the fresh flowers tucked into the corners couldn't mask the bitter stench.

"Is there anything you need, milady?"

She looked at Cecil, who looked as sincere as ever, and smiled. "No. I'm fine, don't worry."

"She hasn't eaten for a while." It was Vashti who spoke, in a distracted, clipped tone. "Cecil, fetch her something. We don't need our saint withering away into nothing."

Vanille bit her tongue as Cecil ran off to do exactly that, but she couldn't keep herself from blurting out, "You don't need to watch over me like some helpless pet, high priestess. Not only that, but you didn't need to bring me down here into the darkness. I was fine upstairs."

"Until that man got through our security and tried to kidnap you." The priestess looked up, one hand holding one of the pages of her mysterious book aloft. "I'm sorry, dear saint, but that can't be allowed."

"He wasn't kidnapping me." She knew it to be futile – Vashti had her mind made up, and she didn't dare explain that Noel had come to try and convince her to go free, an offer she had refused.

"Nonsense. Why else would he come? No, Vanille, you must remain here, safe, in the Sanctum."

Vanille forced herself not to scream. "I miss the stars."

"Oh, my dear..." She could barely stand the woman's faked, overly saccharine concern as she rose from the desk and came over, taking Vanille's shoulders in both hands. "You will see the stars again, I'm sure. Try not to worry. It will all be over very soon, don't you see? You are doing something so wonderful. You will end so much suffering."

She couldn't think of an answer, so she only nodded and looked down.

Vashti's grip tightened briefly before she released her and took a step back. "Why has Cecil not returned?" she murmured as she took a few steps back. Vanille looked up to see Vashti's face twisted into one of deep thought, and for a moment, she seemed uncertain, as though trying to decide whether to go after Cecil or just go back to her desk and keep working on whatever it was she had been doing.

Then her expression froze and her fingers splayed out at her sides. Vanille let out an involuntary gasp as a wink of light overcame the other woman – so brief that she almost missed it, a flicker of golden light that caused the dark of the Sanctum to flee, and it seemed so bright that its very luminosity would scald. For a moment, the pressure of the chaos on her chest lessened, as though something else had taken up the space.

Then Vashti spoke, in her usual calm zealotry. "Bhunivelze has spoken to me. I have felt his power. He has spoken, and I must obey, as is right of me."

Feeling cold all over, Vanille stared at her. "Vashti?" she ventured quietly.

The woman's cold stare met hers, and a strange smile spread across her lips. It wasn't exactly malicious, but it still chilled her to the bone. Something about it seemed... _wrong_. Like a smiling doll. "We must fly. Stay here, dear saint, and stay safe. Apollo, fetch some of the guards with field experience. Something great is upon us." Still smiling, she turned, her skirts and robes billowing out like wings, and she strode out without another word. Vanille called out to her, but was ignored, and when she tried to rise and follow, guards held her back. She did not dare struggle, instead staring, confused, at where the woman had been.

Had Bhunivelze truly spoken to her? That would explain the glimmer of light, but to her knowledge, the enigmatic being had never actually _done_ anything to the high priestess before.

Dread crept into her head, and she bit her lip.

* * *

Caius found himself being the first one at Lightning's side, down on one knee at her shoulder as she fell, and snaked an arm around her shoulders to keep her body from hitting the hard-packed ground. She made no response, features frozen in one of complete neutrality, her body limp in his grip. Fang fussed a few feet away and walked up quickly, while all around them others questioned and made noises of concern and shock.

"What happened? What _happened_?" the other woman demanded, crouching on the other side of her, too interested in Lightning's condition to make a pass at him.

He raised his free hand and laid it on her throat. The skin there felt soft and warm against his, and in the groove formed by the artery, her heartbeat felt uneven and much too weak. "She is alive," he said, barely keeping his voice from trembling, "but she is..." He listened and felt a moment, and his fears were confirmed. "...not breathing. Fang, do you have a doctor of some sort in the area?"

Fang looked at him. "Yeah, yeah. She's over..." She took a deep breath. "Yeah."

"Go get him, please." Caius kept his grip on Lightning as Fang scrambled off into Ruffian to carry out his request, and stared blankly down at her, both seeing her and seeing right through her, trying to feel, trying to understand, but he could make little sense of the sensations cascading over him. He had felt, in the moment she had been overcome, a sudden spike of power before it suddenly reversed, bringing her down with it.

He said her name, several times, but she did not respond.

She was a strong woman, as fierce as she was beautiful, more than a match for _him_ in combat, holding her own for an impressive amount of time against the chaos beasts, and yet, in his arms, she felt small, reminding him so much of the older Yeuls who had only ever been granted his touch by dying in his arms.

Fear pierced his heart, and his grip on her tightened. He could pull up some of his old warrior's bravado, could swear he would keep her safe and would never allow her to die, but he knew it was a lie. He had no power over life and death, no say in whose soul stayed behind and who had to pass on. Not for the first time, he was completely helpless to do _anything_, and the bad memories of _all the other times_ he had not been able to help came flooding back, unbidden, and ruined all his thoughts completely.

The doctor came after an eternity, falling to her knees beside Lightning and quickly checking her over. Fang paced behind her, and a crowd had begun to gather.

"Signs of shock," the doctor said as she opened the woman's eyes to check them. "Erratic heartbeat. Her skin feels too cool for the ambient temperature. Alright." The doctor, calm and professional, met his eyes. "Bring her. We need to get her back up or we could lose her. You're obviously strong enough to."

He didn't question it and made no hesitation, easily lifting her limp body off the ground and following the doctor to the back of Ruffian to her hole-in-the-wall clinic. In the center was an examination table; he carefully laid her on it and withdrew only enough to give the doctor room to work. When he caught a glimpse of his hands in the dim light, he saw they were shaking.

The doctor found the clasps on the side of Lightning's armor quicker than he expected, peeling back the outer shell to leave the soft, thin fabric between it and the skin – obviously not meant for anything other than to protect against abrasions. A needle glinted briefly in the light before piercing the fabric, the skin below, and – he could tell from how much of it disappeared – the flesh beneath it.

"That should get her heart rate evened out," the doctor murmured. "Now I have to get her breathing."

Feeling even more helpless, despite knowing all the necessary techniques, he stood back and watched without the slightest movement as the doctor did everything she could to resuscitate the other woman. Time ticked by without ever slowing or pausing in his mind; he counted the seconds without meaning, watching as her pink lips began to turn pale, her skin paler, darkness appearing where there should be none.

"Heart seems steady," the doctor told him after a time. "Still isn't breathing." She continued her work; he moved to the other side, leaning over her, staring down at her. Frustrated. Angry.

"You are stronger than this," he whispered. "_Fight_."

After an impossibly long amount of time, Lightning's eyes suddenly flew open, color racing back into her cheeks, and she took a few gasping breaths, arms twitching and fingers splayed out as though searching for something to grab on to. The doctor stopped administering the treatment and instead turned her attention to telling Lightning to "steady" herself. At first, she didn't seem to be listening.

"Lightning," Caius said to her, a hand on her shoulder, restraining her only enough that she would not fall off in her initial confusion. "_Lightning_. You are safe now."

Anger, tempered only by the lack of emotions she had claimed plagued her, surged into her eyes, and grief quickly followed before both cleared and she fell back, flat on her back, on the table. "Serah," she gasped out, chest heaving and voice raspy. "Bhunivelze dangled her in front of me. I saw her, Caius, I _saw_ her, smiling at me, and then she screamed and reached out, and I couldn't _save_ her–"

Instead of speaking, he tightened his grip on her shoulder, instantly drawing her gaze to him. Her eyes hardened, but she made no other movement and stopped her rambling.

He said her name again, much more gently than before, aware of rubbing his thumb across the skin bared at the crook of her shoulder, but not stopping simply because she didn't really seem to care. As he watched, the tension eased out of her body, joints loosening, fingers relaxing, eyebrows returning to their normal neutral position. The doctor said nothing, but observed without moving.

"I don't know what happened." Devoid of emotion once more, she swung her legs over and sat up, her back facing Caius, so he moved around to stand beside her, removing his hand from her shoulder. "I just know that I stopped breathing, blacked out for an instant, and then starting having that..." She waved a hand, flipping it through the air, and shook her head. "...that _nightmare_, whatever it was."

The doctor stepped forward and checked her over, less hurriedly this time. Lightning submitted to the exam without a word or moving a muscle. "Everything seems back to normal." The doctor sounded confused as she took a step back, folding her arms. "Well. I'll need to run a more thorough exam to be sure – won't take long – but whatever happened seems to have passed. We almost lost you."

Caius felt a shiver pass through him, but kept his expression perfectly neutral.

Lightning looked down at herself, grasped the armor dangling by the other side's clasps, and slowly returned it to its proper position, _clicking_ each snap carefully in place. "I'll submit. I need to make sure I'll be okay for the next run – which is out to the desert," she said, directing this last part at him.

"It'll be a few minutes. I'll release her when I'm done, if everything seems well. Wait outside. I need to clean up the injection site." The doctor looked directly at him and raised one eyebrow.

Aware of the implications in her statement, he inclined his head respectfully and left the clinic, dropping each of the privacy curtains behind him. He ran one hand across his face, from top to bottom, aware of his body trembling and his heart beating a little too fast. Perhaps she had come out of the incident entirely on her own, or perhaps the doctor had been able to resuscitate her, but in either case, it had been too much.

_Not another Yeul_, he thought, but as soon as those words crept into his mind, he swatted them away. No, Lightning was not "another Yeul". She was a grown woman, dangerous in battle, fierce and beautiful and strong, and in no way was she anything like the defenseless, petite girl he had guarded for so long.

Perhaps that knowledge made this event that much worse.

"Well?" The hard voice sliced through his thoughts and jolted his attention to the owner – Fang, standing a few feet away, her arms folded, her green eyes narrowed. "What happened? Is she alright?"

"She is fine." Sheer strength of will kept his voice flat and calm. "She recovered, and is undergoing an examination by the doctor. I am sure she will be out shortly." How long had Fang been standing there? Had she seen him come stumbling out with his face contorted into one of pained concern? What would she think of what she saw? Would she understand, or would she go off and make assumptions about things she couldn't know?

"Well, good, because I still need her to go to the ruins."

Caius felt a temptation to berate her – Lightning had _stopped breathing_ and nearly gone into arrest, so how could she could be so heartless – until he heard the wavering in her voice and realized she was angry because of worry. The woman in the clinic had been _her_ companion and comrade in arms long ago, he knew. Of course Fang was worried about her friend, even if right now she could only show it by complaining.

"She will be fine, Fang," he assured her, meeting her eyes.

The woman's eyes softened a little, her brow knitting slightly. "You're worried, too, aren't you?"

Caius said nothing, uncertain what he could possibly say, and instead just stared at her hopelessly before his eyes fell to the ground, betraying him.

And then Fang surprised him by saying, very gently, "Sorry."

* * *

_I'm very sorry about the delay. There were a lot of factors that went into the, but finally, 2.5 months later, it's finally out! Here begins another big shift, but it's way bigger than any of the ones I've pulled out before. The next chapter will make this even clearer, and it'll be out sooner than this one. Let me know what you thought of this one!_


	25. Dust

_**24 Dust**_

It was closer to half an hour before Lightning left the clinic. By then, the sunlight was long gone and Ruffian was more alive than ever, with more torches lit, more people wandering around, and more shopkeepers shouting out their wares. She waded into it with a slight headache from the painkillers the doctor had given her, but didn't let her discomfort show even though she had a sore spot in her chest from the needle and the noise just made her headache a little worse.

To her surprise, she encountered Caius almost immediately despite the crowds – or perhaps it was the unmissable shade of her hair – and his eyes betrayed concern.

She had woken up to him gazing down at her with worry, his hand on her shoulder and slightly calloused skin cool against hers. Her whole body had felt, for a few moments, as though it had been lit on fire, and his skin felt like a spot of relief against hers. If she'd had to wake up out of a nightmare to anyone, the only person she might have preferred was Hope, but even Hope had never looked at her _that_ way.

"I'm fine," she said, before he could speak. "The doctor cleared me. It just took longer than expected."

He nodded slowly. "Are you certain?"

"We need to get moving. Wasting time." She used one hand to push him away, slightly, against his shoulder, before walking swiftly past. Caius fell in step behind her without hesitation.

"Good!" was Fang's greeting, where she rose from the sitting area in the central lobby. "You're not dead!"

"And I'm cleared to walk," she said with a nod.

Fang moved closer, hands on her hips, and her green eyes carefully searched hers. "So, what happened, exactly? You went down like a rock. We were all worried."

Lightning felt her brow wrinkle. A harpoon being punched through her chest, a sudden blackout, the familiar light of Bhunivelze greeting her from the dark... and an apparition of Serah. _You're doing so much to help, and soon I'll be back home with you_, she had said, smiling and clasping her hands behind her as she had so many times before. It had made the void of her heart tighten, the only real semblance of feeling she still had. _We'll be together again, you and me and Snow, and all the others, just like old times!_

But though Lightning had tried, she couldn't move toward her, feet apparently stuck the ground beneath her. She had flailed and struggled and screamed, but soon her body paralyzed, and Serah's smile suddenly crumbled into a look of terror, right before she covered her face with both hands and screamed.

_Serah_ had left her lips, but no sound.

And then had come Caius's familiar voice, muffled and faraway at first, but steadily becoming clearer, pulling her out of the sea of darkness and Bhunivelze's pinprick of light back to the world of the living. She still didn't understand what exactly had happened.

"I wish I could tell you," she murmured, "but I just don't know."

Fang frowned, but despite obvious misgivings in her eyes, she seemed to understand. "Well, as long as you don't keel over suddenly again... though, with Caius there, at least someone will catch you again."

Lightning looked at Caius. "You caught me?"

His face couldn't be a more perfect mask of neutrality if he tried, but he nodded. Lightning frowned again and turned back around, but her eyes skated across the floor instead, too deep in thought at the moment to focus on who could be approaching her, their footsteps deadened under the bustle of Ruffian.

"We heard what happened." Sazh's voice brought her attention back to the real world. "Good to see you're okay, but it sounded pretty scary."

"I'm fine." She looked up and managed a small smile. "I can walk."

Sazh looked over at Noel, who had changed out of the raggedy clothing he had been wearing before into an outfit befitting a desert traveler – cotton and silk, mostly browns and golds, with blue threading around the edges and sandles like the ones he had worn during his journey with Serah – and they exchanged worried looks. Lightning shook her head and moved outside into the cool night air.

Noel came after her. "Hey, sorry, we worry!"

"I'm the Liberator, backed by Bhunivelze's power. And I'm too stubborn to die." She winced a little at this, thinking of Snow in his Cie'th state. "Besides, Caius is with me, and a lot is riding on me. He won't let me die, either."

"Caius isn't all-powerful," the younger man protested.

Lightning returned her gaze to his. "Maybe that's the case, but apparently you can't pick up when something's meant to be _amusing_, not serious. Look, we've wasted enough time here. Can we please get going?"

"What, you changed your mind?" Fang said.

Lightning frowned slightly. "Yeah, I guess I did."

Noel looked sheepish, but Fang nodded. "Alright! Let's get going before it gets too dark and creepy. The stars will light our way." She moved away before anyone had the chance to say anything else; they followed her up the gravelly slope to the left of Ruffian, and before long they had left the bustle of the ruins behind. Nothing, not even clouds, stood between them and the open sky.

Lightning walked in silence behind Fang, with Caius beside her as usual, following a long path away from Ruffian and into the deep desert. The only sound was their breathing and their feet on the desert floor – not even any wind blew across the dunes, and nothing else stirred the sands. In the distance, she spotted a flurry of sand and the flick of a fin meant for digging into the hard-packed earth of this land, but the sahagin seemed uninterested in them, instead going after some meal she couldn't quite see.

"Whoa, heads up!" Their leader suddenly ducked to the side, motioning the others to follow. Lightning climbed over a small divot in the sand that ran up the hill they had been climbing, and the others quickly followed her, though Noel mostly backed his way in, looking confused.

"What–" Lightning tried, but Fang clamped down on her arm with one hand.

Then, she saw it – a huge, sweeping shadow, trailing darkness, fanning across the stars high in the sky. It moved without a sound, but she felt the hairs on his arms stand on end. It was the same shadow spoken of in Ruffian, and she had little doubt it was also the same one that had spooked Caius on their way here. Could it be one of the beasts Hope had been tracking from the Ark, so powerful that it warped space and time?

"Some call it Ereshkigal," the other woman whispered, close to her ear. "It can probably smell us, and if I talk any louder, it'll hear us. Gotta wait until it passes."

The beast wheeled on its right wing, making a slow circle over the immediate area.

Caius's hand brushed her left arm; grateful to get away from Fang, Lightning leaned the other way until she was practically on his shoulder and he dipped his head close to hers. "It knows we are here," he murmured. "We did not move quickly enough to get away from it this time."

"But how can you tell?"

"Look how it moves. It knows its quarry is here."

She frowned. "We might be able to fight it if we had to, but I'd rather not take any chances yet." She quickly looked around, sweeping the visible landscape. "Over there. Seems to be a ravine. If we can get down in there, we might be able to get away from it long enough to reach the ruins."

"We're not even halfway there," Fang told her. "If we don't make it, we die, or we get in a big confrontation. That thing has been known to dive out of the sky and snatch people away, never to be seen again."

"Then it needs to die, doesn't it?"

"Yeah, maybe so, but I'm not ready to fight it just yet. Leave well enough alone."

Lightning chewed her lower lip for a moment. "How much further is it to the ruins, exactly?"

"If I had to guess, another hour of walking. Less if we jogged some of the way, but we wouldn't get there anytime soon no matter what we did. I'm taking us along the shortest possible route. That ravine will add a few minutes to the travel time, but you're right, it might protect us until that thing gets bored."

The beast completed its circle and began a second; Lightning gritted her teeth. "We should be able to run just fast enough to get there, but we have to go when it's on the far side."

"And what if _you_ get carried off by it? Can't exactly have that, now can we?"

"It will _not_ happen," Caius assured her. "Even should she be taken by its claws, I swear not to let her come to any harm, no matter what I must do to retrieve her."

Fang growled, but Lightning nodded. "I believe you. Alright, just another moment..."

The beast wheeled slowly around the area, still silent as before, and the moment its inky shape appeared against the stars over the far side of the plain, Lightning sprang out of hiding and immediately angled to the right, running as fast as she could toward the ravine. Fang, Sazh, and Caius were right behind her, and Noel took up the rear, all of them running as fast as possible across loose sand and weathered rock. The ravine seemed further away than before, particularly when she looked to her left... and the beast was coming straight toward her.

"Keep running!" she shouted. "It's coming!"

"I knew this was a bad idea!" was Fang's shouted response.

Now the beast was no longer silent, its movements sending up swirls of dust and sand in its wake, and when she looked again, she spotted the silhouette of huge, fanged jaws opening up, fully prepared to sweep the party up with frightening ease. Left with no other options, she shouted for the group to scatter, and they immediately split off into various directions while she dive-rolled out of the path of the jaws. They snapped the air behind her, and the wake swirled sand around her like a great tornado.

Without waiting to see if it was coming back, she immediately scrambled to her feet to continue her run, only to get the funny sensation of something bearing down on her.

Looking over her shoulder, she saw the beast more clearly, its ornate wings silhouetted against the stars, eyes glowing faintly gold in the darkness, and a tail unfurled behind it, smacking the sand and sending up torrents that blocked the stars and the landscape behind her from view. This time, when its jaws opened, she heard an inhuman scream and wasn't sure if it was the wind or the creature making the sound.

Lightning immediately threw herself out of the path of the jaws, only to realize with horror that it had turned its head and was again reaching for her. Scrambling and throwing dirt, she got up to her feet and put everything she had into it, but its jaws still bore down on her... until she was suddenly knocked off her feet, hitting the ground shoulder-first with the wind slightly knocked out of her, having landed on something uncomfortably hard. As the dust cleared, she looked up at Caius, who had apparently brought her down on her side but taken the brunt of the impact with his own body. She could've taken the hit, though it would have hurt, but she appreciated his willingness to.

She scrambled back to her feet as the beast swept by.

"I could do nothing while you were so close," he told her as he also stood. "I hope–"

"Caius, relax, it's fine," she said, and slapped his shoulder.

"Comin' round!" Fang shouted. Starlight and the glow of the Ark flicked across a metallic tube, and she spotted the other woman's staff unfurling from its lock position with a _snap_. Sand and dust swirled around her as she quickly flipped it into an angled, battle-ready position. "Can't outrun it!"

"Yes we can!" she shouted back. "_Keep moving_!"

"No," Caius hissed when she tried to do so. "No outrunning it. That much is obvious. We _must_ fight it off."

She gritted her teeth, but said, "Okay. Got any ideas? I'm all ears."

"Let me handle this one."

Understanding swept over as she looked at him with slightly widened eyes. Though she was fully aware of Caius's raw power, she had yet to see it truly unleashed. Now, it seemed he was going to do exactly that. "Do it." She faced the others and shouted, "Fang, Noel, Sazh, get somewhere safe _now_!"

"What a great idea, I never thought–" Noel's sarcastic quip was cut short by a yelp as the beast swooped right over him and slashed at the ground near him with its tail.

As she ran toward the ravine once more, she heard the sound of sand rushing over itself and looked back to see Caius in his familiar battle stance, hands held out to his sides and his back to her. As the mighty beast swooped up into the stars, corkscrewed, and came back down, a sudden blast of darkness laced with golden checkerboard patterns split time and space, slamming into its face and stopping it cold in midair. The beast screamed, beating its wings against some sort of shimmering barrier. It wasn't until Fang ran by and yanked her by the shoulder that she realized she'd stopped dead to watch and continued her sprint to safety.

Caius pushed back against the beast, and she looked back as she reached the ravine to watch. Two fountains of great power pushed against one another, one a cloud of shadow and the other a shimmering spire of gold, and they seemed to be evenly matched at first glance, but as she looked more carefully at Caius's stance, she realized he had hunkered down more, pulling more chaos into the area, coalescing into a–

Lightning's eyes flew wide open. "Not good," she muttered, then added "_Move_!" when everyone stared at her. The three then began to run along the length of the ravine, the rush of air and sand filling the spaces between them with alternating shadows. Fang led the way, running and leaping over cracks and crevices, dodging roots and rocks, before she suddenly clambored out of the ravine some distance down and ran full tilt out across the sand, still in the direction of the ruins. Lightning and the others followed.

The sudden explosion of hot, compressed air knocked her off her feet. It took the others down as well, all of them tumbling with the impact; Lightning brought her knees around to land on her feet and looked back in the direction of the explosion. The beast trailed golden light as it screamed and flew up into the air – the only thing visible, in fact, in the swirling bloom of darkness that had taken its place.

Then Caius was beside her, trailing tendrils as he formed in midair. "That may not deter it forever, but I was able to wound it. That should be enough for now."

She managed a smirk. "Excellent. Alright, everyone, keep moving!"

"Be wary, Lightning," he said as they moved off again. "We _will_ have to face it again. Next time, you may have no choice but to face it head-on and try to kill it."

Fang had no problem with this, moving at a ground-eating jog with her staff still unfurled and gripped tightly in one hand. The sound of the beast's pained cried followed them all across the desert, but though she saw its shadow fall across the stars above them more than once, it did not seem keen on attempting another assault. Remembering how painful some of her companion's attacks had been, she smirked, knowing it had no desire to repeat the experience of its scales and skin becoming scorched by chaos-fueled fires.

"Right over the ridge and down that slope," Fang finally said, and pointed. "Go along the beach. There's an entrance in the rocks, you'll see it. Get inside before that thing changes its mind."

Lightning groaned. "Followed us all the way here. It's personal."

"We'll probably have to deal with it on the way out. Sounds fun." Sazh wheezed slightly when he spoke, obviously tired from the hike. "Sooner we get in and out, sooner it's over."

The slope was gravelly and strewn with what seemed to be the crumbled remains of sea creatures, and it led down to a swath of brown sand against which the edge of the Sea of Chaos lapped. The blue luminescence cast an eerie glow on the party's features, reminding her too much – and too suddenly – of Valhalla, and yet oddly it made her think of lying at the bottom of the sea and gazing up at the light filtering through the surface.

It was strangely calming, and she revealed in the sensation.

"Wait a second." Fang stopped some distance from the entrance, twin torches sputtering on either side and evidence of ancient vegetation rattling against the rocks. At first, Lightning wasn't sure what made her stop, until she saw where sand had been kicked up near the entrance and rocks scattered. Moving past Fang, she approached and saw a spatter of darkness on the rock.

"That's blood, Fang," she said, frowning and backing up. "That always there?"

"No." The other woman sounded strained.

Lightning moved to the threshold and peered down into the shadows. Though a torch could be seen in the darkness, it was very orange – more coals than fire, as though no one had tended to it for a while. A faint scent of chaos mingled with something bitter came to her nostrils, and she looked back at the others. "Something doesn't look right," she murmured. "What's this normally like?"

"There's normally a guard here, then some guys scurryin' around down there." Fang's voice had become even more strained, worry furrowing her brow. "They're not here, and no evidence of 'em, either. Lightning, something's up, and I'm suddenly real glad you're here with us."

"What else is in these ruins besides your bandits? Any creatures?"

"Ah, well, we haven't run into very many. Been pretty manageable so far, but we didn't get past some of those doors, like I said. Might be worse further down." Setting her jaw firmly, she frowned at Lightning. "Maybe they ran into trouble with bigger monsters or something. I don't know."

Sazh fingered his pistols. "We will soon enough."

"If there's something down there, we can handle it," was Noel's response. When Lightning looked at him, she noted that he didn't seem all that concerned. "Whatever it is can't be much worse than some of the things that'd wander in Luxerion at night. You should've seen what they left behind sometimes." He raised one eyebrow. "That is, if they left anything behind. Sometimes they didn't, except the blood."

Lightning felt a shiver pass down her spine, but turned and moved inside the entrance. Caius remained close to her, between her and Fang, as they moved into the darkness. The torch popped, sending up a flurry of embers, but there was otherwise no sound besides the whisper of wind across the stone. The torch's orange light was dim and cast thick black shadows that cloaked the walls. Unnerved, she moved slowly and carefully, finding both the weight of the sword on her back and Caius's proximity oddly reassuring.

No one made a sound, and as Lightning's eyes adjusted to the darkness, she began to truly grasp just what sort of place they had found themselves in.

Cracks in the ceiling let in the faint light from outside, and a distant orange torch cast light into a broad hallway with small chambers on either side, sealed by fallen rock, metal bars in terribly dilapidated states, or roped off with small yellow caution signs hanging on them. The chambers and hallway plunged into pitch darkness beyond the reach of the starlight and torchlight, as though the world simply ended.

"We have to go down a few levels," Fang whispered to her. "But it's no good if we can't see. I gave very strict instructions that as many torches as possible were to be kept fueled and lit at _all_ times, and that hasn't changed since I've been here. Something is _very_ wrong. And it's far too quiet. Where _is_ everyone?"

"Which direction to the lower levels?" Lightning asked.

"Should be that way, dead ahead."

"Can we pull one of these torches for the walk?"

"I hope so. This place is creepy." It was Sazh who spoke, though he seemed more annoyed by the creepiness than actually nervous about it. Noel made a sound of agreement.

"They're fitted pretty tight into the walls," Fang said, "but I can see if I can pry one off..."

"Fang, move aside, please." Caius spoke this time in a very low, quiet tone. Fang looked at him, but did as he asked, sidestepping toward the wall. Lightning watched, his body faintly outlined by orange light, before a sudden flare of purple light appeared before him, casting violet light across his features. With a flick of the wrist, he tossed it into the darkness, and it left a trail of purple light – not terribly bright, but more than enough for their darkness-adjusted eyes to see without tripping over anything.

"Looks like you're good for something after all," Noel said.

Fang moved up, now on the other side of Lightning from Caius, and with the warrioress on her left and her enemy-turned-comrade on her right, she moved forward, following the phosphorescent trail of purple as it floated in midair and made a turn further down. Sazh and Noel stayed at the rear of the group. The purple light cast soft-edged shadows on the walls that stretched toward the ceiling.

"Don't hear a thing," Noel said after several minutes. "Nothing. No footsteps, no voices. Like a tomb."

"There's more entrances to the ruins, but they're sealed from the inside and I never bothered to have anyone open them, though everyone's aware they exist. Maybe something happened and they had to leave that way." She didn't sound all that convinced, and Lightning was not, either.

As they began their descent, Caius tossed out another orb of light that revealed a stairwell leading to a door open to a large atrium beyond. The air down here was still, though piles of dust and sand were visible in the corners. No one said a word as they moved in, but Lightning sensed Fang becoming more agitated by the second, and she seemed to be making soft sounds of worry deep in her throat.

"All wrong, all wrong," was what finally came out. "_All_ wrong. Someone should _be_ here."

Lightning did not dare call out, so instead she reached out with her senses as best she could, probing the shadows. She did not like the chilly feeling of being watched, as though enemies hunkered in the shadows and gazed steadily at them – a thousand eyes all staring from the darkness, but when she tried to pierce the darkness, nothing except the abyss stared blankly back at her. A chill passed through her body, and Caius seemed to sense her unease, moving closer – either that, or it was pure coincidence he chose that moment to do so.

They walked in almost complete silence for a long time, with only the sound of their footsteps breaking it. They passed through several more chambers, a large atrium, rounded a corner partially blocked off by metal bars, and were met with a large, ornate door covered in tarnished silver leaf.

Fang stopped dead at the sight. "Oh, no," she said in a quiet voice. "_No_."

The doors stood open, evidence of them sweeping the ground visible where they formed arcs of flattened sand. Fang moved closer, one hand outstretched, her mouth opening and closing several times before she stopped and faced the others again. Lightning understood what was the matter very quickly.

"This is one of the doors, isn't it?" she murmured. Fang's expression was all the answer she needed.

"But I thought only Lightning could open these because of her Bhunivelze-given power," Sazh said. "Isn't that why you brought her here? I thought nobody could get these open without her."

"That's true," the darkhaired woman snapped. "_No one_ should be able to open these doors, _ever_, unless their name starts with 'Lightning'. This doesn't make _sense_. Everyone's missing, the door's open, it's dead quiet and the torches are going out. What could have _happened_?" Seething, she turned and gave the door a swift kick. It did not budge at the impact. "I don't _believe_ this!"

Lightning frowned thoughtfully at the open doors, watching as another orb of purple light was flung into the room beyond. It illuminated a huge chamber crosscrossed with balconies and walkways, so huge that its ceiling was only barely lit by the purple orb and most of it actually disappeared into darkness.

"I don't like this," she admitted quietly.

"I have sensed a growing presence of chaos down here, and more than just the usual ambient amount." Caius looked down at her when she looked up at him. "It seems there is a bloom of it below us." He looked thoughtful a moment, then turned and lowered himself to one knee, reaching out a hand that hovered over the stone floor. A few seconds of silence broken by Fang's irritation followed. "Some sort of central chamber, very large. There is an immense power source down there, but I cannot tell you more than that."

"That'd be the clavis chamber. It's right down there. We have to go down one more level."

"I have a bad feeling about this," Noel said.

They all looked at him. "We don't have much choice," Lightning said. "If the doors are open, then we _have_ to get to the clavis before the Order realizes the road's open." She sighed. "I don't like it, either, Noel, but if we're going to make sure Vanille is safe, we _have_ to get down there."

"You hear that?" Noel said suddenly.

Lightning held her breath, listening, and the others did the same. There – the sound of something... _clattering_ faintly in the darkness. More disturbed than ever, she drew her sword, holding it at her hip in a stance of battle readiness. She peered into the darkness, but again could discern nothing, and the sound of something _scraping_ lightly across the stone, disturbing the dust, made goosebumps creep across her skin.

"I don't like this," Noel said, echoing her feelings.

"It does not appear to be in this room," Caius told her. "The sound is carrying from elsewhere."

"And it ain't my bandits. By Pulse, _what_ is going on down here?"

"We need to keep moving, pick up the pace. Fang, can you lead us to the clavis chamber?"

"Yeah," the other woman said in a clipped tone before jogging ahead. The rest of the party strung out behind her, Noel bringing up the rear. Sazh made concerned sounds and grumbled about the "creepy darkness" again, but kept up the pace fine behind them. Each pocket of darkness they entered was soon lit by purple luminescence, giving the whole place a surreal sort of appearance, and coupled with the perpetual acrid stench of the chaos, which grew stronger the further they went, it made her think of Valhalla.

Well, at least she wasn't having flashbacks.

"This one shouldn't be open, either," was Fang's response to encountering another silver door. "It's just like the first one, so it's _gotta_ be the same sort of door!"

The clattering sound had been following them the entire way, and had also grown much louder.

As they quickly made their way through another doorway, partially blocked by the archway having collapsed from the wear and tear of time, the acrid stench of the chaos suddenly becoming sickening, and Lightning felt her throat constrict when she breathed some of it in. Her affinity to the chaos had been dampened by Bhunivelze's power, but at least it let her walk through clouds of darkness mostly unscathed.

"There's way too much of this stuff down here! It shouldn't even _be_ here!" Fang swore loudly and bounded forward into the massive chamber that lay beyond the collapsed doorway. Caius cast out an orb of light... only for its brilliance to be swiftly dampened by a bloom of darkness roughly halfway into the room.

Startled, Lightning slid to a stop, spraying dust and gravel. "What do you mean, Fang? You saying all this is _new_?"

"Well, far as I know, it wasn't here two days ago!"

"It's _awful_," was Noel's response, and when she looked back, she found him doubled over, both hands grasping the sides of his head. "You hear them? All those voices? Just _screaming_!"

"Lightning, _help me_!"

She whirled at the distant sound of Serah calling out to her, but saw nothing except the darkness, the checkerboard patterns shifting around the orb of light and causing it to scattered like refractions in a crystal. The chaos seemed to have a mind of its own after all, and now it was having fun playing games with their minds.

"Not real, not real, not real..." She practically chanted the words, and slowly, she felt herself begin to calm again.

"I know it's not!" Noel shouted. "It's just... there's too _many_."

"I hear it too, the screaming! Like wind and death. And I _swear_ I heard Dajh in there somewhere."

A clear, childlike laugh rang out from the depths of the darkness; knowing she heard it for real, Lightning turned and stared into the shadows, willing them to part. She knew the voice, all too well, even though she had really only been hearing it for a few days. "_Lumina_!" she shouted. "Why are _you_ here?"

Then, suddenly, the darkness parted, exploding outward toward the walls and ceiling, and as the light of the orb fell fully on their surroundings, she saw something that chilled her bones.

They were utterly _surrounded_ by skeletons.

Noel unleashed a very colorful string of exclamations, backing toward the light, while Sazh pulled both pistols and fired at two of the skeletons, hitting them directly between the eyes. Lightning took a step back, colliding with something, but when she looked, it was Caius, in a battle stance and back-to-back with her, his long-vanished, vicious-looking sword having materialized in his right hand.

The skeletons, eyes glowing pink with the fires of chaos, shambled forward, holding ancient swords and shields, making no other sound but that of quaking bones. Enormously disturbed, Lightning gritted her teeth, swung her sword, and cleanly removed the head of one. The skull bounced across the ground; the beast kept coming, so she reversed, slashed up, then straight down, cleaving the skeleton neatly in two. The _crack_ of shattering, dusty bone sounded like a gunshot, despite the clattering and the roar of chaotic winds.

Sazh was off to the side, shouting dares at the approaching beasts, bashing them with pistols before proceeding to perforate them with bullets, removing heads and bones that clattered to the ground. Noel had taken out both swords and was doing his best to clear a path, but some did not go down without a fight.

And through it all, she kept hearing Lumina's giggle.

"Caius Ballad," she said over her shoulder, "you ready to remind me what you're capable of?"

She felt him shift his stance slightly against her back. "Say when."

A large group of skeletons approached with shaky steps, belying the brutality they were no doubt capable of. She bared her teeth and growled softly in her throat. When they were maybe a dozen steps away, she said, "Let's end this quickly," and immediately lunged forward, tearing into them with all the strength she could muster. She hacked off limbs, severed spines and necks, crushed ribcages, and all the while, Caius moved beside her, perfectly melding every step, every strangely graceful strike, to fill the gaps in her own – never missing a step, never getting too close or moving too far away, never leaving any part of her six unwatched.

And in return, she did exactly the same, cleaving a path of destruction in her wake.

The years and years and _years_ of war in Valhalla immediately showed the only positivity she had ever seen as they moved together in an efficient, perfectly matched war dance, as though they were two halves of a single entity made just for battle. Caius's longer years of experience showed in quick, silky movements, but she matched them closely enough, mimicking steps and swings and stabbing uppercuts that she had practiced for too many centuries on him that she now could use without concern at his side.

Even on Gran Pulse, alongside others of her kind, with two warrioresses well-accustomed to battle and a man used to pummeling monsters with nothing but his fists, she had never moved in such perfect harmony with _anyone_, and it was a refreshing, _exhilarating_ sensation.

As the skeletons continued to advanced, seemingly forming out of the chaos itself, she slashed out with her sword and blasted them into bits with white fire. Flickers of pink and violet revealed Caius's power behind her, carefully calculated for maximum effect in a very small area, like with her own. They soon stood surrounded by piles of bones, cracked shields, and swords, and still the skeletons came.

Lumina, who had been giggling through most of the skirmish, was no longer laughing.

She felt nothing but battle flowing through her – no exhaustion, no pain, only the feeling of sweat running down her bare back and across her palms, the burn of exertion in her lungs, her blood thrumming with the familiar rhythm of battle. To her left, Fang seemed to share her feelings, battle cries and insults flying from her lips as she bashed skeletons away with her spear and kicked them back into the shadows. Sazh was still shooting, while Noel was still doing his best to avoid disappearing until a pile of bones.

"Alright, I'm bored! This is too _easy_!"

The skeletons suddenly dropped into piles of inanimate bones at Lumina's voice. Lightning stopped dead, halfway through another step in her rhythm, sword hovering out in front of her. Caius stood just behind her, but she didn't have to look back at him to know exactly how he was feeling.

"Too _easy_?" It was Noel who shouted this time, bones and shields and swords rattling as he pushed his way through the pile. "Really? You wanna come down here and do it _yourself_, you stupid girl?"

"Evil little rugrat," was Sazh's thought on the situation.

Lightning, chest heaving, shifted her weight, pulling herself back into a normal stance. "We're only here for the clavis. We plan to get it and get out. Get out of our way."

"You're here to destroy it. You see, I can't let you do that. It'd be _way_ too easy." Her disembodied voice seemed to come from everywhere at once. "You know, you and Caius actually make a halfway decent team when you're not trying to kill each other." She giggled. "And we _definitely_ can't have _that_."

"Lumina–" Noel began, sounding angrier than ever.

"Less talking, okay? More fighting!" And again the chaos swirled around them, carrying away the bones, only to coalesce a short distance away. In the light of the orb, she saw plate armor, large glowing eyes, limbs and claws made for striking and death, and all around it swirled the familiar checkerboard pattern.

"I can't believe I thought coming with you was a good idea!" Sazh cried.

"Less talk, more kill! _More kill_!" Noel told him.

Lightning swallowed and looked over at Caius. He met her eyes, and the corner of his lips twitched up into a smirk she knew all too well – except this time, she rather liked the feeling behind it. They nodded, faced the beast, and immediately leapt into battle without further hesitation.

The beast was enormous, the size of one of the normal chaos beasts, only this one had the advantage of being covered in thick plate armor. When she tried to attack it head-on, it roared into her face and knocked her off her feet. She rolled back up onto them quickly enough and swiftly gauged her opponent. It had a soft underbelly, and its face was mostly unprotected, but it would be very difficult to get to the heart of darkness that gave it form and power without essentially going right down its throat.

Caius, though, didn't seem unusually concerned, tossing pearls of light into the creatures face, then bashing it where its skull would be when it tried to snap its jaws at him. Tendrils of darkness, protruding from the armor on its back, flailed through the air and brushed the ceiling. One of them swung around toward Noel, but he dropped to the ground to avoid it and was immediately up on his feet again, fighting back.

Caius landed on the ground beside her, looking mildly perturbed at his rhythm being interrupted, and looked over at her when she looked at him.

"Any ideas about the armor? We need to reach its heart!"

"We will have to remove it, but to do that, I must get under it. And _no_, I do not want you to even _attempt_ it. This is far too dangerous for the Liberator to risk her life. I will not die. It will just hurt."

Lightning didn't feel like arguing this time. "Alright, fine. Talk to me!"

"Keep it busy and try to make it stand up more! It is too close to the ground now for me to do anything."

Lightning looked over at it and realized that it _was_ practically on the ground, its belly brushing across the stone. She looked back at him and nodded, then scrambled to her feet and quickly relayed the orders to the other. They all gave her looks that made her realize they were all in over their heads – except Fang, who looked absolutely _delighted_ to be fighting in such a desperate, dangerous battle.

Sazh, on the other hand, was wide-eyed and nervous, while Noel looked ready to kill someone.

Well, the voices probably hadn't helped.

"Alright, fan out! Flank it!" Lightning ran to the side, followed by Fang, while Sazh and Noel followed. The beast slung its head back and forth for a moment, as though not really sure what it wanted to do, before deciding that the two men looked less dangerous and lashing out at them.

"Hey, beastie! Over here!" Fang struck out, hit the armor, took a few steps to the side, and rammed the tip of her spear deep into its shadowy flesh. It screamed.

"That's the worse thing I ever heard!" Noel shouted. "Let's _kill_ this thing! It's making me _angry_!"

Fang rammed her spear in a few more times before the beast swatted her away. She landed some distance away on her back, and though she climbed back to her feet, she looked dazed. If not for her natural strength and the effects of a changed world, Lightning guessed her spine would have snapped on impact.

The four of them leapt at once, and while it lashed out with tendrils and teeth and claws, Caius approached directly from the front, a familiar look of determination on his face, and leapt straight up into the air. Flipping the sword around, he drove it right into the skull, spewing liquid chaos and smoke. The beast screamed, shaking its head, trying desperately to get him off, but he hung on, pulling out the sword. When it swung its head up, he let go to land on the ground below it, and before the beast came back down, he disappeared under it.

"Almost there," Lightning panted, and dodged a sudden snap of the jaws.

Lumina laughed like a gleeful schoolgirl.

And then the creature just _exploded_ into smoke, the orb illuminating its vanishing body as it drifted into the furthest reaches of the huge chamber. On his knees where the beast had been moments before was Caius, one hand on his knee and the other resting on his sword where it had been plunged into the ground. To her left, Fang groaned and leaned on her spear, shaking her head, while Noel looked around frantically to her right. Sazh aimed his pistols around for a few moments before holstering them.

Lightning came up to Caius, bending down when she stood in front of him. Slowly, he lifted his gaze to hers, lips parted and a pained expression on his face.

"I am alright," he murmured. "Just give me a moment to recover."

She nodded and turned away, this time going over to Fang. The other woman nodded and straightened, though her chest visibly heaved, betraying exhaustion and discomfort. "This better be worth it, because I'm gonna need a long nap and a _hot_ shower when it's all over with."

After a few more moments, Noel finally sheathed his swords. "Any more excitement?" he growled.

Lightning looked at him and shook her head.

Fang collapsed her spear and returned it to its sheath on her back, and as she turned to continue forward, Lightning saw her eyes widen slightly. "Whoa," she said, almost breathless. "Look, guys, I know the clavis is important and all, but did y'all see what's on the _walls_ around here?"

For the first time, Lightning turned to take in her surroundings. The purple orb, now unobstructed by the chaos, cast soft light on the nearest walls and support pillars, revealing vast, weathered murals spreading from edge to edge, their stories painted in what she supposed were once-vivid hues. Caius climbed to his feet and tossed out another orb toward the wall, where it came to hover above the mural closest to them. Lightning gasped softly – it was chipped, as though someone had sabotaged it, and badly weathered, but she could still make out the form of a woman in ornate armor, blood dripping from her robes, with a crystal covered in gold leaf hovering above a landscape that included cities, wilderness, and people wandering the streets.

"I think that's Etro," Fang said. "We saw some other murals up top, but never got this far in. Looks like the dialect is the same, though. See the writing?" She raised one hand, gesturing at the Pulsian script. "Uh, let's see... some of it's kind of chipped off, but I think, uh... something about a great battle to take place at the end of time, the chaos, and something about Bhunivelze, but that part's all gone."

Lightning tilted her head. "And who's that?" she said, pointing at a figure in the lower-right corner. It depicted a woman with long silvery-blue tresses, reminding her of Yeul, one hand outstretched and a look of horror on her face, but the script beside her had been mostly worn away, leaving few pieces behind. She was sinking into a vast black sea below the landscapes and seemed to be in the midst of a losing battle.

"Looks like her name is 'Mwynn", and it says 'mother of'... and then the rest is gone. Someone desecrated it."

"Bhunivelze's mother?" Lightning stared at the figure.

Sazh made a surprised sound. Fang stared at her. Even Noel couldn't stay quiet, saying, "Wait, what?"

"Someone told us that Bhunivelze had a mother named 'Mwynn', who he sent to the chaos long before Etro had even been, well, 'born'," Lightning said. She looked over at Caius, who stood a few feet away and seemed to be staring at the mural, transfixed. "From what I understand, he fought a war with her that he started, won, and killed her, sending her to Valhalla, where she was swallowed up by the chaos."

Fang looked back at the mural. "It's not mentioned in any legends. No literature, no scriptures. Nothing. No one ever makes any mention of Mwynn, even back in my original time."

"Why would they? Saying he has a mother might mean he's not immortal," Noel said.

Lightning felt her brow wrinkle in thought.

"It would ruin his reputation as a 'benevolent' deity, you know?" The young hunter moved closer to the mural and used the inside of his wrist to buff away some of the caked-on filth. "The guy killed his mom. I mean, that's not exactly the kind of bedtime story you wanna tell your kids."

"Right," Sazh muttered. "Hey, kids, remember that guy Bhunivelze? You know, the head honcho? Yeah, he killed his mom. But he's _totally_ the good guy, don't worry!"

Fang snickered. Lightning said, "My perspective is definitely... altered. But I'm still his Liberator, and I'll remain so until – or, hopefully, only if – he gives me some reason to do otherwise. For now, we need to focus on fulfilling his mission so he'll give us the new world and bring Serah back. That's all that matters."

"He's going to bring Serah back?" Noel paused and looked thoughtful, though he kept his eyes on the mural. "I don't know the exact circumstances behind him killing Mwynn, but can you trust someone like that?"

"He _promised_ me," she snapped, and Noel raised an eyebrow.

Fang moved away from the mural, though she still looked thoughtful. "The clavis chamber is right over there. Hey, Caius, can you toss out another of those orbs? We should be pretty–"

Dead silence fell over the group as the orb flitted through the air. Its light illuminated two enormous, ornate doors, carved with the image of a huge tree with numerous deep roots and broad branches. Since the doors were wide open, this was really all that could be seen before the reality of the sight sunk in. Lightning stared at the room beyond, not sure she wanted to go inside and confirm what she already knew.

"No," Fang said, her voice uncharacteristically small. "No, _no_, this can't be right."

Lightning swallowed. "The clavis is gone."

The other woman hung her head, one hand rubbing her forehead. Noel and Sazh looked at each other, but neither seemed particularly keen on speaking. Caius, standing at his normal spot beside her, only gazed blankly into the darkness, the orb of light casting his body in soft shadows and smooth glimmers of violet light. Lightning found it much less stressful to look at than the darkness.

"Someone got in here and took it," she added, "but I couldn't tell you _how_. Caius, can you find out where they are? I need to track that clavis down and get it back, or destroy it, worst case scenario."

"Good. You're startin' to see reason," Fang grumbled.

Lightning glanced at her, only to notice that Noel had moved away from the group toward one of the support columns, squinting at it. While Caius developed a look of supreme concentration, eyes closed and fingers splayed, she moved over toward Noel and saw etchings in the pillars – more scenes, she guessed, to accompany the murals that no doubt covered every wall. "See something?" she said.

"Well, this one seems to depict the War of Transgression. Either it's newer than all the others or based on some sort of prophecy. Can't really tell." He smoothed one hand across the stone. "It's a different style. Huh. Must be a whole different era." He looked at her. "Well, while you were getting all worked about the clavis, I decided I'd look around a little bit. I'm kind of a history buff, and these are just fascinating."

Lightning circled around the pillar to see more etchings – a village in the wilderness being attacked by a monster, a stylized image of what appeared to be Titan shaping mountains out of the earth, a great serpent sweeping through the mountains, its ridged back creating gorges and cliffs in its wake.

"More over here. Looks like all the pillars have something on them." Noel moved to a different column, closer to one of the floating orbs of light, and brushed away some sand. "This one's real stylized, but it looks like Cocoon. It must have been a _huge_ prophecy to get attention like this." Lightning peered closer to see a sphere trailing wisps, like a comet, balanced atop a stylized pillar of crystal. "And, this one. Huh. Got me."

Lightning peered around at the next etching. It was in shadows, but she made out a box surrounded by people on their knees, arms raised, and a swirling cloud rising out of the box. A figure stood in the center of it, expression twisted into one of pain, while misshapen faces screamed in terror, scattered across the cloud.

"That's disturbing," she muttered.

A soft sigh told her that Caius had appeared beside her from the chaos. "They are no longer in the desert. They are on one of the monorails, heading toward Luxerion."

Lightning gritted her teeth. "They must be taking it to the cathedral. Alright. We're going back there."

Noel looked up from the etching. "Taking it to Vanille?"

"Looks that way. We're going to have to save her from them, but I can't force her." This she directed at Caius. "She has to come of her own volition, or it won't matter. Kidnapping her won't solve anything. If she's going to come, she has to accept that continuing her path is wrong. Guilting her won't help, and if we force her, then she'll always think she would be better off there. No. We'll take care of the clavis _and_ save Vanille in one go."

"Alright." Noel straightened and tapped his fists together. "All in."

"That will cripple the Order," Caius said, but he sounded pleased. "It should be interesting."

She managed a half-smirk. "Oh, I'm sure. Let's rest here a bit before heading back to the surface. I know Sazh will go, no question, but Fang needs to stay in Ruffian to watch her bandits and rest. We'll bring Vanille back to her, safe and sound... if she agrees to leave." She took a deep breath. "Alright. We move in five minutes."

"What about the people who disappeared here?" Noel said.

She looked at him. "Well, it sounds like the people who stole the clavis have some explaining to do."

* * *

_Finally, we're away from the ruins, as well as done with the desert in general for now. These two chapters have been dedicated to setting up... well, pretty much the rest of the story. The groundwork is laid and things are about to Get Real. __Some quick notes regarding this chapter:_

_1) Changed the reveal of the clavis's purpose to the manner described above, because the way the narrative is constructed, having Cid Raines pop up would have involved some shoehorning, so I decided to do it this way instead. A bit clunky, but it works._

_2) Yes, that is THE Ereshkigal, the superboss from the game. She's playing a larger part this time, as you'll see as the story goes on._

_And the chaos just keeps getting weirder. It will all make sense sooner than you think, but for now, between Lumina and myself, we're enjoying just kind of toying with your brain a bit. Chaos makes all sorts of weird stuff happen..._

_Anyway, let me know what you think. Next chapter will come sooner than this one because I've been planning it for MONTHS. Should be fun._


	26. Fighting Fate

**_25 Fighting Fate_**

In the wee hours of Luxerion's morning – around the three o' clock mark, he guessed – things were eerily silent. No clergy wandered the streets, and even the guards seemed to have vanished. The entire city lay under a thick blanket of deep darkness, the stars shining brightly overhead. Most of the streetlights were off. Shuttered windows and locked doors peered out from every side. He tailed Sazh and Lightning, exiting the monorail and quickly making their way toward the cathedral in the heart of the city, staying in the shadows and as quiet as they could manage. No really said anything except for an occasional whispered order from Lightning.

Noel had at first wished to go to Luxerion, but upon returning to Ruffian, he balked and expressed a desire to stay behind, citing "not getting along" with the Order as being the reason and offering a wry smile. Lightning had said nothing, only patting his shoulder in understanding. Fang, in obvious discomfort, had been lead away by the doctor to be tended to without a backward glance.

Sazh, saying he wanted to see Vanille safe and free, chose to go along, smiling when asked if he was sure.

Caius knew the look on the other's face.

No longer tethered by the illusion of his son, the man had fallen into form easily enough, and the shadows had begun to vanish from his features. He smiled with several decades of wisdom, seeming completely at ease accompanying Lightning. Caius knew he had traveled with her before, and no doubt been through his share of perilous escapades. Add to that five hundred years of chaos, and what could faze him anymore?

And it gave Caius time to think.

In a few hours, Lightning would be returned to the Ark to rest, and he would be back, temporarily, with the Yeuls in the darkness of the temple. He accepted it as his duty, but for the first time, he wished he could forgo it and just wait for Lightning where she left him. The thought of returning to the chaos made him uneasy. He would have an eternity there after this world ended, never to see the sky or the real world again – a self-made prison, he knew, that he had no one to blame for but himself.

Selfishly, he wanted to leave her for a day. He had spent five hundred years there, and soon it would be forever. This world did not have long. He wanted to _see_ it.

But he was a sworn Guardian to her first, and to Lightning second. Nothing could reverse that truth. Yeul had always been his charge, and he was out here primarily to help her. The longer he did as she wished, the more he helped Lightning accomplish her task, and the more time the world had. If he could help give his old rival the time she needed to save as much of the world as she could from the fate he had bestowed upon them, then a little time spent in the darkness each day was hardly a high price to pay.

* * *

Lightning noticed that Caius was quiet tonight as she led the way through the shadows toward the cathedral. Sazh kept up well enough, though he too said nothing. It shouldn't even matter, she thought – Caius was _always_ more likely to be silent now than to speak, she knew. This wasn't Valhalla, where he had taken every opportunity he had to tell her _exactly_ how he felt about their war. This was the land birthed from what he had done, and his silence was now not the exception, but the norm. And yet...

The pledge of a Guardian was not one to be taken lightly, she knew, and she didn't much like the fact that he hadn't said one word to her since leaving Ruffian.

"There, across the road." Lightning nodded toward the towering edifice of the cathedral, its glowering face lit with a sickly yellow light and crisscrossed with evil shadows cast by the carvings on its columns. Just the sight of the place gave her chills, and it was worse knowing Vanille was trapped in there, fully prepared to kill herself when the time came. "She'll probably be down in the lower level. I remember there being a lot of halls down there, when she took me to see the chaos brewing. It's more secure than upstairs."

"I went there to see her, too," Sazh murmured. "It was bad. I didn't like it, and I liked her being there even less."

"Right," she said. "We have to get through those gates to get inside."

"Let me handle that," Caius said. "I will also open the main doors. Guards are easily dispatched."

"Yeah, I'm sure that's the case, but don't kill them." She looked him in the eye. "Fiends and monsters, you can kill. That's all they are, after all. But people, no. I want as many of them kept alive as possible."

He nodded. "As you wish."

"Good. Go do it."

Caius vanished in a sigh and wisp of darkness, leaving just her and Sazh, huddled at the edge of the deserted street, cloaked in shadows. For a while, there was silence, and Lightning studied the back of one glove, where the ridged metal following the line of her arm met the tough leather-like material that encased her hand. Both were still relatively flawless, with no visible nicks or scratches that her eye could see.

Sazh was the one who broke the silence. "So, what's it like, traveling with Caius? Didn't you used to fight him?"

She flexed her hand, sighing. "Yes, I did."

"This must be weird for you, then. You're trusting him to watch your back, knowing full well that not that long ago he would've stabbed it." He shifted his weight.

"He did, once," she murmured. "Just before our final battle, I was distracted by an image of Serah's death, and he used that opportunity to take me down. That gave him the chance to get away, into Academia. I wasn't there to stop him that time." She shook her head. "And because of that, the world ended."

"Look, so many factors went into Caius winning that I don't think any _one_ person can be blamed, see? So there's no point pouting about the past."

She leaned against the wall, hand on the porous stone, and looked at him. "I'm not _pouting_."

"Maybe, but you won't let it go, either."

"Not true. I'm working on it."

"Lightning, I remember the old days – you know, like when Serah turned to crystal? You always liked to say it was 'your fault' somehow, even when it obviously wasn't. Looks like you haven't changed." His voice was stern, like a parent talking to a misbehaving child. "If you need someone to blame, Caius is it. Even then, even though I want to be mad at him, too, what good does it do?"

"He can't be allowed to forget what happened," she said.

"He won't. You see the way he walks? See the way he kind of stares into the distance sometimes?"

Feeling her brow furrow, she considered Caius's recent behavior. It was true the fierce determination and anger had all but vanished, but what had been left behind was stoicism and the storm of his heart, a constant storm that hid his true thoughts and feelings from any attempt at prying. Caius had never been good at hiding how he felt, but now, it seemed, he had become a master at masking his heart.

"I never really paid attention," she said, and heard the sound of the front gate opening slightly.

Sazh nodded. "Trust me. He won't ever forget."

Lightning looked toward the cathedral to see Caius's distinct silhouette, motioning them forward. Boots pounded on pavement as she crossed, closely followed by Sazh. Inside the courtyard, she saw three bodies encased in the strange jewel-faced armor the Order favored, but when she looked deeper, she realized they had fallen into a deep sleep that completely closed them off to their surroundings. Sticking to the shadows more out of instinct than necessity, she hurried toward the front doors and tried the latch. It came free easily.

"There are guards on the other side." He hesitated. "Take caution – it seems they have fiends at hand to guard."

"Wait, fiends? Like, beasties they enslaved?" Sazh said.

"Looks that way," Lightning said. "Well... I guess we'll find out for sure once we're inside." She pushed open the door enough to slip through and made her way in as quietly as she could. Sazh came in right behind her, and Caius came last, stopping long enough to close the door again. Inside, the cathedral was almost pitch black, the only light coming from the stars, moon, and city filtering through the windows, leaving huge pools of shadows that made it easy enough to move, though difficult to see obstacles in her path. More than once, she narrowly avoided crashing into a pew and eventually resigned herself to the aisle to move.

"Who goes there?" came a voice, muffled and distorted by a helmet; she swore under her breath and sat up... and looked directly into the faceted face of a guard. Her eyebrows went up.

Before he could react further, she had him pinned to the ground and held him there long enough for Caius to send him into a deep sleep, but the alarm had already been sounded, and now more guards were appearing out of the dark like rats fleeing from water. Sazh grumbled, but she heard the sound of his pistols being drawn from their holsters. Moments later, bullets _pinged_ off tempered metal, startling the target more than anything. Caius took two of them down in one swift movement while Lightning blasted another off his feet. He collided with one of the pillars and crumpled to the floor with a load groan.

"Hey, hey, _hey_, wait a minute! No challenges, now!" Sazh scrambled backward from a sudden flare of bright light, and out of it crawled some unholy conglomeration of lizard, mammal, and avian, snarling and hissing at them as it dug its claws into the polished marble underfoot. Lightning made a face. They _had_ been sneaking in, but now the whole city was going to know they were here.

"We cut through!" she shouted. "Focus on getting to Vanille! Nothing else matters!"

"I heard that!" he said, and squeezed the triggers. A hail of bullets splattered the creature's hide, eliciting squeals of pain and droplets of blood. Lightning charged forward, somewhat grateful for being able to face a beast that bled red rather than one that gushed chaos, and hacked at its hide. Beneath the thick, matted fur, the creature was encased in a thick armor plating she couldn't quite bust through without hacking at it some more.

Caius was at her side – of course – and as she stepped back, raising her sword to try again, he blasted the beast with a hammer made of darkness, forcing it to stumble sideways and howl. A blast of ice quickly followed, snap-freezing the fur and armor beneath. Seeing where he was going with this, she smirked and followed up with a flare, bright and hot, that ignited right on the plating.

The shell cracked open with a _snap_. The monster bellowed.

Sazh aimed for the beast's eyes, simultaneously keeping a nearby guard from getting too close with a well-placed kick in the shin, pelting the gnarled skull with a hail of bullets. Yet, despite being assaulted on all sides, it refused to go down without a fight, and suddenly she was hit with a powerful shock that made her heart feel like it would explode, knocking her right off her feet onto her back.

But she took it in stride, using the momentum to roll right back up onto her feet, sword ready.

Caius looked at her, concern briefly visible in his eyes, but once he really took in her current state, it vanished, and she could have sworn a familiar smirk curved his lips.

"Behemoths, Eidolons, ugly bird-lizards, big land fish..." Sazh laughed. "..._nothing_ bothers you, does it?"

She glanced at him. "Not anymore, no."

The beast came after them again, all fangs and claws, but Caius stopped it before it got too far, once more forcing it to stumble, then fall onto its side with a yelp of pain. A guard shot at her, but he ended up in a heap on the floor in a half-second, leaving only the fiend before them. A pair of heads hovered on long, scaly necks from its shoulders, and from there came both painful bolts of lightning and blasts of ice that chilled her to the bone. Gritting her teeth, she forced her way through and jumped straight up to hack off one of the heads.

It bounced and rolled off to the side.

"Oh, that is just _so_ wrong," was Sazh's contribution, and he shot at the remaining head, though it wavered back and forth and dodged most of the bullets. When a tendril of chaos tugged it down and pinned it, however, she reached up and easily severed it where the neck met the skull, lopping off the head and letting it bounce to the ground. In the spray of blood and howls that followed, she attacked the main head of the fiend, bashing it right between the eyes, sending it into a bout of confusion.

A few more moments of all three attacking the head, and the skull suddenly caved in, sending the rest of the body into spasms, claws clenching and unclenching rapidly.

"Caius, again!" she shouted, and this time the entire shell snap-froze in place. She followed up swiftly with a flare of heat once more, and the shell shattered into fragments that skidded across the floor, leaving the softer flesh behind in its wake. Somewhat dreading what had to be done, she found the spot that would provide the least resistance and drove her sword deep into the chest.

The body stopped spasming and just lay there twitching instead. Blood pooled across the floor.

Lightning curled her lip at the sight of her broken blade soaked in the fiend's blood and quickly washed it off as best she could with a splash of water. "Alright, now that's done, let's keep moving."

Sazh groaned loudly. "That _smell_."

Lightning gave the air a sniff and had to agree. "The sooner we leave, the better. Come on." She ran the rest of the way to the heavy doors at the back, the same ones Vanille had led her through not very long ago, and opened them as quickly as her strength allowed. All three of them practically bolted down the steps, and the doors, like they had before, swung shut silently behind them. She knew their presence was no secret – it would be impossible to hid the noise of the dying fiend, even in the labyrinthine halls down here – so instead she focused on knocking down guards and struggling to find some sense of direction.

"Wait, Lightning," Caius said suddenly, "turn left up here. She is down that way."

"You feel her, or you feel the clavis?" Sazh said.

"I feel a void in the chaos. If it is the clavis, then I expect her to be close by."

"They got the thing back from the desert pretty fast. That's amazing." She frowned, wondering how they could have possibly moved so fast, but decided that it didn't matter right now. Following Caius's directions, she practically skidded around the corner, rammed her shoulder into a guard that suddenly popped up in her face, and used her shield to run straight through a hail of bullets. Without slowing, she bulldozed her way through, knocking them all flat on the ground, leaving them groaning in pain in her wake.

"Charging! Ramming! Yeah, all of _that_ usually works, at least for _you_!" Sazh had not lost his ability to make light of things, even when barely staying on her heels. "Look at you, forcing your way through all graceful and stuff, and then there's _me_, just kind of _dangling_ at the back end, lookin' like a _loser_ behind you, the all-powerful warrior! Man, I can't keep up with you _still_..."

Half-smiling in amusement, she kept going, this time directing herself toward a set of nondescript doors set into the far wall. The only guard between her and them was the first one to show any brains, making a surprised yelp and diving out of the way before she hit the doors so hard that they about flew off their hinges.

"See? If _I_ tried that, I'd break my neck! But no, with _you_, it's done _right_! I don't get it! I'll _never_ get it!"

Lightning ducked a guard swinging a bayonet at her and another one shooting at her. In the confines of what seemed to be a room just _barely_ big enough to qualify as such, there wasn't enough room for anyone to maneuver, and in her attempt to take them both down at once, she ran into the wall.

Frustrated, she backed up and landed right on top of a guard, who went down and insulted her the whole way.

"Well, _now_ you're not graceful," Sazh muttered.

As she struggled to stand up and get out of the tight space, the guard suddenly vanished from under her, a little sooner than she expected, and she hit the floor with a surprised grunt. After blinking the sparkles from her eyes, she glanced sideways to see the guard, now upside-down, with his back against the wall, slowly falling over.

"On the contrary – _that_ is not graceful."

This time, she directed her glare at Caius, and despite the perfectly stoic expression, there _might_ have been a little bit of amusement in his eyes. Sazh, standing beside him, looked innocent.

"Whatever," she muttered, and scrambled to her feet. The other guard had dropped his weapon and was cowering against the far wall, hands up and palms out. She gave him one look before shrugging, kicking his weapon away into the hall, and storming out. "She's not in here. Uh, obviously."

"Yeah, I doubt she's gonna be in a supply closet." Sazh looked at the room she'd vacated. "Or, whatever that is."

She glared at Caius. "Well, now what?"

Unfazed, he gestured down the hall to their left. "Down that way."

Lightning spotted another set of doors and ran in the direction he had indicated. A few feet from one of the doors, she heard him shout at her to stop, but she rammed into the doors before he was halfway finished... and bounced off, head spinning, stunned by the impact. Blinking away the shock, she looked at the doors, only to find that not only had they not opened, but they seemed completely unmoved by the impact at all.

Grunting softly, she shook her head, then heard Sazh come up beside her. When she looked up, he gave her a blank look, then reached out and gently tugged on the latch. The door swung outward.

"So, grumpy," he murmured, raising his eyebrows, "why can't you just do doors like a normal person?"

She looked at the door, at him, then back at the door, groaned, and shuffled over the threshold. Caius followed right behind her; Sazh brought up the rear and closed the door. Pitch darkness greeted them until Caius threw out another of his orbs of light. Lightning let out an involuntary "ow" as her shoulder shifted with her steps.

Her companion came up beside her. "Are you hurt?"

She looked at him, head clearing. "Uh, no, actually, I'm fine. Feel like I maybe bruised by shoulder, though. I should have used my shield. But, I'm alright." When he continued to stare at her, brow furrowing, she grunted and turned away. "Really, I'm fine. Would you stop looking at me like that?"

"Well, he has to worry. I mean, you're kind of, you know, important?"

She gritted her teeth. "Stop reminding me."

"Alright, alright," Sazh said, and punctuated his words with a chesty sigh. "Hey, purple wonder, just how far have we got, anyway? Feel like we've walked for hours already. Got an idea?"

"We are close," he said. "A short distance–" He cut himself off with a hiss through his teeth, one arm flying out before her, stopping her cold. Though she wanted to protest, she also knew Caius never made any abrupt movements without good reason and didn't move. She saw that he had also raised his other arm, barring Sazh from going any further, either. "Do you feel that, Lightning?"

She frowned at him, looked down the hall, then returned her gaze to his. "Yeah."

"Well, I don't. What's going on?" Sazh demanded.

"The chaos. It's getting... I don't know, _worse_. Feels like someone drawing a noose around my chest." She laid a hand over the silver emblem on her armor. "Making it hard to breathe."

Caius sounded concerned when he said, "Lightning?"

She shook her head. "No, no, I'm fine. No more episodes of me collapsing to the floor and blanking out." She gave him a quick smirk, though it did nothing to smooth the worry from his brow. This was ridiculous, she knew. He was here for Yeul, and he shouldn't be so concerned about her. That wasn't his primary job, and she felt the temptation to slap that expression right off his face, but held her fist in check.

"Are we gonna run into somethin', maybe, comin' back?" Sazh sounded worried.

"Possible," she ventured. "Maybe one of those beasts."

Caius finally looked away. "We need to move quickly and stay focused. She should be just down there." He nodded, and Lightning led the way, following the trail of purple luminescence through the shadows to a pair of completely unremarkable brown doors at the far end.

"Now, Lightning, how do we open doors?" Sazh spoke as though to a preschooler, but instead of feeling irritated, she felt only amusement.

Reaching out, she undid the latch and pushed the door inward.

"Stop right where you are."

Lightning sucked air through her teeth and glared in the direction of the voice. On the other side of the doors, warm light filled a room with potted plants in the corners and colorful tapestries on the walls – a sanctum, she guessed, for the saint and her closest companions. The one who had spoken was a tall woman with silver-blonde hair, her face partially hidden by a black mask, though her eyes were plainly visible.

She resisted the urge to chuckle. This woman, the few guards, a chambermaid, and what seemed to be a pair of acolytes huddled in the corner were no match for the three of them. Sazh had already taken up position on her right, while Caius stood at her shoulder, unmoving.

"You have come for the saint," the woman said. "That can't be allowed. She _must_ stay here and perform the ritual."

Lightning didn't care. "You have one chance. Where is Vanille?"

The woman gave her a strange look, then shifted her gaze to Sazh. "Ah, _you_ again. Haven't you disturbed our dear saint enough with your heathen ways? Must you return?"

"I came here for Vanille, to _save_ her. She's not going to _die_ because of you!" was his response.

A familiar voice said, "Sazh? Is that you?"

Sazh's expression instantly brightened. "Vanille? Hey, girl, you're alright!"

"Of course I'm alright, what are all of _you_ doing here?" Vanille appeared in the back, rising from a cot flanked by two guards, but she only took a single step before they blocked her way. Irritation and sadness warred on her face before she lowered it and stepped back again. Sazh growled and drew his pistols, pointing them in the direction of the two guards, but thankfully not yet pulling the trigger.

"That answers that," Lightning said. She raised a hand to her sword. "Let her come with us."

"I think not," the woman said. "She _must_ stay."

"There's three warriors standing here," she pointed out flatly, "and a bunch of low-grade guards between them and who we came for. If you value your life and those of your guards, you're going to give her to choice to leave. You _will_ allow her to leave if she so chooses."

The woman opened her mouth, then closed it. A smile slowly spread across her face. "Do you wish to leave?"

Vanille looked at her. "Vashti, you can't just–"

"Irrelevant, my child. Tell me the truth. Do you wish to leave with these..." Vashti looked disgusted for a moment and waved her hand in Lightning's direction. "...people?"

"I..." The younger woman looked suddenly unsure, her gaze darting between Lightning and Vashti, drifting over to Sazh the longer she stood there. After a few seconds of this, she clenched her hand into a fist and pulled it tight to her chest, closing her eyes and shaking her head. "I _can't_ leave. My duties are here."

"Even if you _die_?" Lightning demanded.

"I can't just leave those people in the chaos to suffer!" she shouted. "I can hear them, all the time. They _have_ to be free, and if that means _I_ have to die, so be it! I'll do it!" In a familiar gesture of defiance, she straightened and pulled her shoulders back, gray eyes fixed on Lightning's blue ones. "They are _suffering_. I can't just sit by and watch!"

"But what if there's another–"

"You see?" Vashti interrupted her. "She has no desire to leave! She must stay, and perform the ritual! We must be _cleansed_ of our darkness and bathed in Bhunivelze's glorious light! Now, _begone_!" Before Lightning could react, the woman waved a hand, and a bright flash of light and heat forced her to stumble back. As she shook her head to clear it, Vashti snapped her hand back the other way, but this time the brilliance collided with a wall of darkness that deflected the blast to the sides of the room.

When Lightning looked at Caius, she recognized determination in the set of his jaw, but his eyes were solemn.

"What is _this_?" Vashti demanded. "That dark power... it's of the chaos!"

Lightning looked at her, raising an eyebrow. "Yeah, say hello to the Destroyer," she muttered.

A collective gasp rose from the assembly. Vanille looked between all of them, but clasped her other hand before her once more and ducked her chin. No one spoke for a long time, and slowly, she grew aware of everyone staring in awe and terror at her darkhaired companion. Sazh still had his pistols out, unfazed, looking dangerous and worried the longer he stood there, fully prepared to run right over to Vanille in an instant.

"The Destroyer?" Vashti said, sounding breathless. Lightning felt her expression darken, not liking the admiring tone of the woman's voice. "Slayer of the evil goddess Etro, bringer of the apocalypse... the one who has awakened Bhunivelze from his long sleep! Most have only _dreamed_–"

Caius's expression turned dangerous. "Do _not_ speak of me in such a way!" And suddenly, Vashti and most of the assembly was on their knees, all of them clawing at their chests, obviously trying to breathe. Lightning gasped and reached out, catching his forearm where he had it extended, clamping her fingers tight around the armor.

Caius looked at her, but the tension went out of his body.

Relieved, she released him, facing Vashti, now struggling to stand. "Vanille, do you _really_ want to sacrifice yourself? What makes you think this isn't part of some _ploy_ of theirs?"

Vanille shook her head. "I have to. I _have_ to." The words came out in a choked whisper.

Lightning looked at her. "What is the 'cleansing' she mentioned?"

Vashti gasped. "It is the cleansing of all souls, their hearts purified, with no more darkness, no more pain, to carry into the new world!" she managed to get out between the choking. "We will live on, free of our burdens, while those trapped in the darkness will be _cleansed_! They are not part of Bhunivelze's plan, and so they must be washed away in the brilliance of his glorious light!"

Something clicked in the back of her mind as she remembered the etching in the ruins. "What does it do to all those trapped inside the chaos?" she murmured. "Tell me the truth. Tell _everyone_ the truth."

Vashti glowered at her, but did not speak.

Caius stepped into her peripheral vision, a look of spite spreading across his features now – a dangerous prelude to all-out anger, she knew. Destructive anger, if left unchecked. "You mention a cleansing. What _exactly_ does it do to those people in the chaos, and why do you want it so badly?"

The woman climbed slowly to her feet, coughing a few more times, before straightening and looking the other woman right in the eye. No one spoke for a long time, and then she said, "It will cleanse them of the darkness and our minds of the scars they left behind. There will be no more pain caused by the dead."

"Cleanse our minds? _Cleanse_?" Lightning felt her eyes widen as realization sunk in. Peeling away layers painted with pretty words, she found the truth, buried. "It will _destroy_ them."

"No," Vashti assured her, "but we will not know them."

"We'll forget them, and they'll keep suffering, only now they'll be _forgotten_." Lightning narrowed her eyes again and sensed Caius's anger growing beside her. Anger, and self-hatred, breaking through cracks in the shell of his heart and threatening to overwhelm her with its force of will.

In the back of the room, the young woman with the red tresses and clasped hands gasped.

Lightning breathed deep. "Is that what you want, Vanille? Just give up, without even _looking_ for another way to save them. Is that what you _really_ want? To destroy all those people?"

"Destroy the people's hope, accuse me and adore me as the one who awoke your precious deity, destroy _me_ if you like, but _do not_ force the innocent to bear the burden of my mistakes."

Startled by his sudden shift in tone, she looked, and found such a mass of emotion that she instinctively withdrew from him, giving their bodies a little more space. Caius still looked angry, but now his heart overflowed with grief, with self-hate, with bitterness and spite, and some part of her understood now why he had shielded his heart from her prying. If this was what it felt like just to stand next to him while he struggled to hold everything in, she could only imagine what it would feel like if his firestorm broke out into the ambient chaos.

She found the thought absolutely frightening.

"I... I can't just..." Vanille seemed at a loss for words, her hands working before her. "Even if I _could_ do something, _anything_ else, I can't just... I owe so _much_." Her voice cracked, and as she buried her face in her hand, Lightning caught a glimpse of tears welling up in her eyes. "This is my atonement for everything I did – for Euride, for Ragnarok, for lying and running away! I can't run anymore, I just _can't_!"

"Vanille, don't you dare throw your life away! Euride wasn't your fault, you know that!" It was Sazh who spoke now, his voice strong and clear in the quiet that followed her words. "This is actually your chance to make things _right_! You can give up and die and think it'll all be sugar and rainbows, or you can live and come with us, and conquer the darkness! But you've _gotta_ choose your _own_ end." His pistols never wavered, and his voice only grew stronger by the moment. "And I _know_ your story doesn't end here."

The room was deathly silent after he finished speaking. The guards tensed, their weapons held at the ready, and the chambermaids looked anxious. Then Vanille slowly lowered her hands, blinking away tears, and she raised one hand again to swipe them away with the back of her wrist.

"I... can't just run away from it," she said, "but... you're right. This isn't how it's supposed to end."

"Vanille, you mustn't listen to these _heathens_!" Vashti cried.

"You lied to me! You said I would end their suffering, but I'm going to just make it worse! And I _knew_ people who went into the chaos! I'd rather live with the pain of having known them then just wipe them away!" Still sounding as though ready to break down in tears, but oddly determined, she seized her headdress and tossed it aside, the veils fluttering from the suddenness of the movement. "I would _never_ do this, and you knew it!"

Vashti looked panicked. "No, don't! Bhunivelze, he–"

"You just wanna forget all your mistakes and pretend you never did anything wrong," Sazh said, his voice taut and accusatory. "I bet _you_ sent some of those people into the chaos, or oversaw the things that did! You wanna just give up everything and walk into the new world all pretty and clean? Well, you're too _full_ of it to go quiet into that good night, Vashti! And it's _over_ now!"

Not even a heartbeat of silence followed his words before Vashti let out a bloodcurdling scream and a sudden blast of brilliant white light. Lightning suddenly found herself on the ground, landing hard, while Sazh reeled back against the wall and Caius struggled to right himself. Before the three could react any further, Vashti reached out with both hands and threw out bright, hot pearls of light that scorched her robes and prevented her from standing even when she finally got her legs under her.

"How did _you_ get Bhunivelze's power?" she demanded.

"I am more _loyal_ than you, and Bhunivelze will not allow _anyone_ to interfere with his plan!" The woman punctuated her words with more pearls of light, and this time Lightning went momentarily dizzy from the heat and light and stumbled when she tried to stand again.

"You opened the doors," she wheezed out. "He gave it to you so you'd open the–"

"Because _you_ walk on eggshells! You tread the line with your dark thoughts and ruinous ways! Thoughts of betrayal cannot be accepted, and Bhunivelze will only allow the _chosen few_ who are purest of heart to come to his new world and revel in his glorious light!" The priestess was shouting almost at the top of her lungs, hands ablaze with white light, tossing out flashes of white and heat and keeping them back.

Caius was the first to stand upright, though he looked a little dazed and annoyed. When the next flash headed for them, he blocked it with a shimmering wall of shadow that lasted for an instant, deflecting it harmlessly away.

"If you cannot see the error of your ways," she continued, "then you must–"

Vashti's knees went out from under her, and she collapsed on her hands and knees, barely giving herself enough space on the landing to avoid smashing her face into the floor. Behind her, headdress clutched in both hands, stood Vanille, her eyes fierce, her body having fallen into a familiar battle stance.

"I'll do this _without_ your help, thank you!" she snarled at the fallen woman. "I won't be your judge, but I think you deserve a lot worse than a kick when you're down!" Gritting her teeth, she did just that, giving the priestess's side a swift, hard kick that toppled her over. Before she could move any further, pools of darkness swallowed her up, and she vanished without a trace.

"Alright, great!" Sazh shouted. "Vanille, let's get out of here!"

The redhead looked at him, nodded, and tossed the headdress aside as she ran forward, followed by a hail of bullets from the dumbstruck guards. Caius slammed them into the far wall, punctuated by the sound of armor clattering to the floor, and Sazh kneecapped the one that he missed, also taking that one down.

Then Vanille seemed to think of something, stumbling to a halt just inside the threshold of the door. "Wait, wait, is Cecil still here? _Cecil_!" Lightning made a grab for her, but Vanille avoided it and ran back into the room, standing in the middle and looking all around. "Cecil!"

From over where the chambermaids trembled in horror, Lightning heard a young man's voice respond.

"Oh, good, you're alright!" Vanille waved a hand. "All of you, let's get out of here!"

A young man – Cecil, she assumed – dressed in an acolyte's garb rose from the floor, his eyes wide in fright, but his demeanor mostly calm. "I'm a member of the Order," he told her, voice trembling. "Even if you leave, my lady, I am still loyal to this place. I can't go with you."

"But... you... _Cecil_..." Vanille made a frustrated sound. "You can't just stay here!"

"I can, and I will." He nodded. "Go before they stop you!"

Lightning noted the uncomfortable look on the young woman's face, but it quickly turned to one of determination, and she nodded. When she turned, she closed her hands into fists and held them before her. "Alright, Lightning, lead the way out of here! I've had enough of this place to last me a lifetime."

Lightning nodded. "Alright. Let's get out of here."

As Vanille ran out into the hall, the skirts of her outfit billowing out behind her, Sazh was the first to greet her, and she leapt forward and gave him a hug the moment she was close enough. He about lifted her off the ground, his joy at being reunited with her as evident as the sun in the sky.

"I knew you weren't that dumb!" he told her. "Good to see you're actually running _at_ your fate, not from it!"

"Meanie," she said, and chuckled. "It's good to be back."

"Fang's going to be happy to see you, I know," he said, grinning. "She's in the desert still. We'll take you there."

She smiled and released him. "Alright. Let's go!"

Lightning started to follow, but noticed that Caius was not. She looked back to see him peering into the room with a look of supreme concentration on her face. She hurried to his side in time to watch him throw out of a blast of violet energy that pierced the clavis like a harpoon, punching clean through to the other side. In the instant that followed, she thought she caught a glimpse of an image – something swirling in the light that burst from it – before the clavis suddenly exploded into dust and scattered to the four winds.

"Huh," she muttered. "Well, no problems there." She raised an eyebrow. He looked pleased.

They retraced their steps, putting all of their energy into avoiding guards as they ran through the halls back to the surface. To her relief, the oppression of the chaos lessened as they exited the cathedral, and by the time they had made it back out to the streets, she could breathe freely once again and felt burdened no more.

Sazh was the first to slow, stumbling over to a wall to half-collapse against it, but he was grinning and raised a fist in the air. "Man oh man," he said, "there is _no way_ we're bein' allowed back there!"

"Yeah," Vanille said, "not us heathens!"

As they giggled at their shared joke, Lightning caught her breath and returned her sword to her back. Caius, not at all winded, came up beside her and took his usual spot at her side, not moving or making a sound. Sazh and Vanille chatted quietly behind her; she looked at him and noticed that his expression was dull and withdrawn, his eyes gazing into space. He seemed unaware – or uncaring – of what happened around him.

"Hey," she murmured, "you okay?"

It took a moment, but he responded, meeting her eyes. "Yes."

She waited expectantly for him to say more, but it quickly became obvious he wasn't about to. "You were, uh, pretty bothered by the Order wanting to destroy the people trapped in the chaos," she said. His expression darkened, and he rather pointedly looked away from her. She sighed. "Look, it was their plan, not yours. I know you were the one who unleashed the chaos and made it so it could happen at all, but it wasn't specifically _your_ plan."

He said nothing, the breeze stirring his hair around shoulders as still as stone.

She rubbed her forehead. "Fine. Never mind."

As she turned around, she saw Vanille choose that moment to look at her with a soft smile. "If you hadn't come for me, I probably would've been in the middle of the rite, or even dead, before I had another chance." She shook her head, her hair free to shift around her shoulders. "Thanks."

"It's my job," she said, "but I'm glad you came willingly. If you hadn't, I'd have had to walk away."

"Nah, she'd have come." Sazh patted Vanille's shoulder. "She knows what's right. Besides, old Sazh would never let her die when he could do something about it, now would he?"

Her lower lip trembled a moment when she looked at him and smiled wider.

"That's right." He squeezed her shoulder and released her. "Well, since we're all here, we should probably make tracks back to the desert. I think I can handle it from here. You two go back to your liberating stuff. I'll take care of Vanille, don't worry." Lifting a hand, he tapped the center of his chest with his fist. "And, who knows, if we just keep our heads up and backs straight, this might all end up a bad dream and fade away."

"Look how that worked out last time, Pops," she muttered, good-naturedly. Sazh made a face at her, which made her break out into soft giggles.

"Good to hear." Lightning half-smiled. "We'll meet you there tomorrow. I have to go back to the Ark at six every morning, so I'll probably come there in the morning."

"The Ark." Vanille sounded thoughtful. "Um, Lightning, didn't you say that... Hope was up there?"

"Yeah. He's there monitoring– oh." She sighed. "He's probably having a fit. I was down there in the chaos, making it so he couldn't pick me up, and when I'm not down there, I'm too close to Caius for a good link." She waved a hand. "Well, he can wait a little longer. Anyway, yeah, he is."

Vanille clasped her hands in front of her. "Can you tell him I said hi again? And tell him I miss him."

"I can," she said. "I won't forget, Vanille."

Only when Vanille looked a little more relaxed did she feel satisfied. Waving her and Sazh off, Lightning stayed behind on the darkened street with Caius, waiting until they were safely out of sight before she turned and began to walk toward in the direction of the market.

"So," he said quietly, "how would you like to spend the last few hours?"

"I figured, since the market is open pretty much at all hours, I can grab a few more ingredients for Cardesia's elixir," she said, and pulled out the paper from her sling. "I have to admit that I'm curious about Taleb's illness. The sooner we get those ingredients, the sooner that mystery can be solved."

"Do you need to contact Hope?"

She hesitated, tilting her head. "I... probably should. Yeah. And let him know I'm alright. Wait here." Moving away, leaving him standing in the darkness, she switched the vox on her headset, saying into it, "Hey, Hope?"

"There you are!" He sounded relieved. "I couldn't get through to you."

"Sorry. I was in the cathedral. We rescued Vanille."

There was a pause, and then, a soft sigh. "You got her away from the Order. Good. They can't have their claws on her anymore. And, she won't die, not by their hand." There was another, longer pause, the sound of him taking a deep breath, and then saying, "I was able to track you a little, but in fits and spurts. I'm glad you're safe. You have a couple more hours before you have to come back. What will you do with them?"

"Hunt down some ingredients for Cardesia's elixir. Maybe see if anyone has anything they need done that can be done quickly." Pause. "And then... I think I'll just... stop a moment."

"And check out the sights?"

"Yeah." She looked up, through the faint light of the city, at the night sky. "It's been such a long time since I looked at the stars that I think I'd like to just _look_ at them a moment. In the center of the city, Luxerion opens onto this big stretch of open water. I'm sure it's pretty right now."

"I'm sure it is, Light. I wish... I could... _be_ down there, with you, seeing it, by your side."

She sighed. "Maybe in the new world. We'll be together."

"Of course," he said, very quietly. "Well, let me know if you need anything. I'll always be here if you need me. I have to look out for you, now, you know."

"Instead of me having to watch out for you." She shook her head. "How the tables have turned." She switched off the vox and looked over at Caius, still standing in a pool of shadow at the corner of a building. He did not look her way, arms at his sides, apparently staring off into the distance again. Frowning at the sight, but only briefly, she came up to him and waved him on before going off into the night.

* * *

_Something I realized as I'm writing this is that I really didn't mean to turn Hope and Lightning's friendship into something that only pops up occasionally. It was such a big part of LR that I felt it needs more attention, hence the bit at the end that I will try to sprinkle in more often. Also, I've been replaying FF13 lately, and Sazh and Vanille's sections inspired me to put more emphasis on their bond in this chapter, something I hope to continue in later chapters._

_ Anyway, reviews are the lifeblood that keeps this story going. Please let me know what you think, and I hope you enjoyed this chapter!_

_And yes, the chapter title is the name of a track from FF13's soundtrack - specifically, Barthandelus's battle theme._


	27. Twisting the Knife

_**26 Twisting the Knife**_

The sun was just beginning to peep over the horizon of the desert when Vanille and Sazh arrived at Ruffian. The place was quiet, shops shuttered, the darkness thick. Vanille was still in her robes and barefoot – uncomfortable the whole way, of course, but her feet were tough enough that she handled it with only mild grimacing. It would be nice to throw them aside and put on some actual clothes, but first, she would need to present herself to Fang, whom Sazh had explained was the leader of the citizens that had made their homes here.

Vanille found herself growing hesitant as they went inside, until she slowed, then stopped, just beyond the threshold, her hands becoming fists at her sides.

She hadn't seen Fang in thirteen years. She _wanted_ to see her, of course, but at the same time, reluctance had begun to chew away at her insides. Once upon a time, she hadn't been bothered much by Fang worrying about her, fawning over her... but that had been long ago, when she hadn't been strong enough on her own. Now, having been left to take care of herself for so long, she wondered how should ever explain to her lifelong friend and companion that she no longer needed to be protected, just know she was loved.

"Hey, girl, you okay?"

"Hmm?" She looked up at Sazh's concerned face. "Oh. Just thinking."

He made a thoughtful sound, moved closer, and folded his arms, tapping a finger on his chin. "Is it anything I can help you out with? I've got a lotta years of experience, you know."

"No, I'm okay, for real this time." A sigh escaped her before she could stop it. "Just... facing Fang, after all these years. She's used to protecting me, you see. She's _always_ been the stronger one, but..." Scowling, though not with any real malice, she placed her fists on her hips. "I can take care of myself now. I'm stronger now. I don't need her to watch over me all the time, but I don't know how to tell her."

Sazh lifted both eyebrows. "That's true. You were always pretty tough, but things do seem different this time around. Make her understand, then. You can do it."

Vanille let her hands drop to her sides again. "You know Fang."

"Yeah, yeah," he said reluctantly. "I know how she can be. Stubborn as a behemoth and feisty as a chocobo with its tail on fire." He seemed to find this image amusing and made a face, then added, "Don't worry. The gang is pretty much back together, and we can face anything, even Fang being herself. Right?"

She tried to maintain the scowl, but his expectant, amused expression made it crack. "You're right, Pops," she said, smiling. "I shouldn't be so negative."

"That's the Vanille I remember. C'mon, let's go see her, huh?"

"And maybe I can get this blasted thing off..." She took handfuls of her robes, almost feeling as though they scalded her with memories, and dropped them as though burned. Sazh led the way through the shadows of Ruffian, the whole place almost deathly quiet, to a hallway in the back. They passed a clinic, as dark as the rest of the place, and made their way down the hallway to a curtain separating the hallway from the room beyond. Vanille spotted her old friend's silhouette as Sazh pushed the curtain aside.

"Sazh?" Fang's voice sounded tight. "It's about time you came back." As Vanille came into the room, she saw Fang sitting on a well-cushioned chair with one leg slung over the other knee, her torso at an angle, expression tense with discomfort. Worry seeped into her heart – had she gotten herself badly hurt?

"Fang? Hey, remember me?" she said.

The other woman's eyes had been mostly closed, but at those words, they opened wide and she sat straight. "Hey, is that Vanille?" she said, grinning. "I... I can't _believe_ it!"

"Whoa, don't get up!" the redheaded cried as Fang started to do just that.

"Fat chance." Fang heaved herself to her feet and came over to wrap her arms around the shorter woman's shoulders. "'Bout time you came around," she muttered. "Had me all worried, thinkin' you were gonna kill yourself and leave us all behind. So glad you're _safe_ again, here with us. With _me_."

For a moment, Vanille let herself be weak with this woman who had always taken care of her, even when they had both grown up into warriors in their respective rights. Remembering the crystal that had let her see her friend, still tucked into a pocket in her robes, she sagged against her, enjoying the embrace.

"Now don't you worry," Fang said. "We're all one big, dysfunctional family, but we won't let anything bad happen anymore, you hear? Now that you're safe here with us..." With some reluctance, she pulled back, but left one hand on Vanille's shoulder. "...I'll make _sure_ the Order doesn't get you."

Vanille battled back the tears of relief that threatened to well up, straightening her shoulders and nodding.

Fang's brow knitted. "You've... changed, haven't you?"

Vanille placed both hands on her hips, cleared her throat, and carefully made her spine ramrod straight. "It's been a long time, and I've been looking out for myself over the years. I couldn't ever really trust anywhere there, so I really just sort of... looked out for myself, and..." As she trailed off, she felt Fang's stare like a weight and heard Sazh shift from foot to foot beside her. "You don't need to worry about me," she said finally. "I know you've always looked out for me, and I... I've _always_ appreciated that, but–"

The other woman cut her off with a chuckle that slowly became actual laughter. Vanille stopped dead and stared at her with her mouth slightly slack, not quite believing what she was hearing. Fang was actually _laughing_ at what she was saying; anxiety filtered into her blood, and her shoulders slumped.

And then her friend surprised her by saying, "Look at you, all growed up, and look at me, still worryin' like when we were kids. Now who's lecturing who?" With some effort, she managed to stop laughing, but kept smiling. "I'm not gonna worry about you, now you're away from those creeps. No, wait, I take that back – I shouldn't have worried to begin with. Hope was right." She tilted her head. "You _are_ tough."

She felt her heart tighten a little at his name and folded her hands in front of her, bringing them up to her breastbone with her eyes still on Fang's. "I guess I never really knew it."

"I probably didn't help." Fang groaned and went back over to the chair, plunking down in it.

Sazh sighed. "You _know_ you're supposed to be resting."

Fang looked at him for a moment, then said, "What? This is resting."

A smile cracked out across the redhead's face. Things sounded normal enough, and she wondered why she had been concerned about the reunion to begin with. For so many years, the two had only really had each other, but it looked like both of them were finally – _finally_ – ready to spread their metaphorical wings. Maybe, in the world yet to come, without the weight of destiny, they would both finally have their own lives.

So, she couldn't resist the opening. "Well, _you're_ obviously fine, throwing yourself around."

Green eyes met hers. "Am not. I'm resting."

Vanille put on her absolute best don't-try-that-with-me face and returned her hands to her hips. "Fang, you would do everyone a favor if you'd just go lay down and sleep for, like..." Pause. "...well, ever."

"I don't need sleep. Just a little restin'. Which I'm doing."

"Is this going to be the behemoth all over again?"

Fang made a show of groaning and dropping her head back. "You're _still_ dangling that one over my head? Good grief, girl, how long ago was _that_?"

"Wait, behemoth?" Sazh piped up. "I've gotta hear _this_ one."

"Maybe later, when I'm not _resting_." Fang looked at her, then back at Sazh, then back again, but all she got in return were stern looks from both of them. After a few moments of this, she seemed to acquiesce. "Alright, fine. Vanille, there's a tailor in this place. Go bang on her apartment door and tell her I sent ya. Maybe you can get out of those ridiculous clothes. Not fit for the desert." She raised both eyebrows. "You'll crisp."

Vanille nodded. "Okay. Which apartment?"

"Hard to miss, got a piece of bright green cloth hangin' on the door." Fang grunted and heaved herself to her feet, raised one eyebrow at her, and then said, "So, did Lightning and Sazh here bust you out?" When Vanille nodded, her brow knitted again. "I see. So if Lightning was there, Caius must have been, too."

"Yes," she said, picturing the dark warrior in her mind. "It's... funny. I thought he'd be scarier than that. All those stories we heard about him and all."

"There were stories about Caius even before the war?" Sazh sounded surprised. "Man, just how old _is_ this guy?"

"The oldest human being in known history," she replied, "close on two thousand years, I'd say. I know he became immortal before the War of Transgression. That war pretty much cemented his status as a myth, at least from what I recall of the actual conflict." She shrugged. "Doesn't matter. I'm still the oldest _hag_ on the planet."

Sazh snickered. Vanille took a deep breath. "It's good to be back, Fang."

"Yeah." She smirked. "Like old times."

"Speaking of which, how did you get yourself hurt?"

Fang looked bewildered for a moment before understanding crossed her features. "Oh, yeah. Got in a fight with a nasty and thrown pretty hard. Don't worry, I'm mending up. Doc says I'll be good in a day or two. Guess I'm still pretty tough." She chuckled, then winced. "Ow. Anyway, tailor. Get out of that... thing."

The redhead smiled. "Oh, believe me, I can't wait." The smile fell off her face as she looked down at the robes and gathered them up in both hands. "There's so many... memories. I mean..." She raised one hand, taking the uppermost layer with it, to examine it in the light. The fabric was of excellent quality and craftsmanship, threads shimmering in the torchlight. It would be a shame to destroy, even knowing the story behind it, but part of her wanted to throw it all on a pyre and watch it turn to ash.

"It's alright," Fang assured her. "You just march on over to the tailor and get yourself taken care of. Once you're out of that thing, you'll feel much better. You'll see."

The other woman sounded as sure of herself as ever, and Vanille glanced up to see her half-smiling. Taking strength from the look – from the woman who had protected her from Cie'th, shielded her from the elders' wrath when they were still small, always done her best to brush away her burdens and fears, been there with her ever since they had met in that orphanage so long ago – she released the fabric.

"Of that, I'm sure," she said, quietly. She gave Sazh a quick smile before turning and walking away.

* * *

Lightning woke very slowly from the thick, syrupy haze of sleep, opening her eyes the dim golden glow of the Ark's central chamber. She roused herself quickly enough, though, easing herself upright in a sitting position, stretching her arms over her head until every joint popped. When she opened her eyes again from the pleasure of stretching, she saw Hope, standing at the terminal as always, the soft light of the screens and holographic keyboard creating a pleasant white halo around him.

She half-smiled softly and moved to stand on her feet. "Good morning, Hope."

Soft golden light shifted across his hair as he turned his head to return her smile. "Oh, good morning, Light. Did you sleep okay? You were pretty tired when you got here."

"Yeah. Almost too much to give my eradia." She glanced at the tree, noting that more leaves had unfurled from their places embedded in the slender stalk. Last night, she had provided enough to birth another bud. "How many days do I have racked up now?"

"Nine, according to my instruments here." He nodded. "You're doing well, Light. Soon, you'll have thirteen days in your pocket and no more worries. Almost there."

At his words, she felt her brow furrow. _No more worries, huh? _Not yet, not for her. There was no rest yet to have for her. Not until she stood on the surface of a new world, watching Snow and Serah embrace and smile, would she be able to rest again – and that, in turn, was only if she could rescue Snow from his existence as a Cie'th. Part of her still couldn't believe that he had crossed over that threshold – typically seen as a point of no return, and with no Etro to save him, she couldn't imagine how _that_ miracle could be pulled off.

Her throat tightened; her hands balled into fists. There was a very real chance that she would not be able to save him at all. When Serah returned, her eyes would fill with tears at the loss of her soulmate. Lightning herself had never felt that kind of love, but if it was anything as strong as what she felt for her sister – though of course of an entirely different nature – then she could imagine the grief.

But she had to face reality. Snow could very well slip through their fingers. His grave could very well be the palace he'd shut himself up in for all these years, and his final resting place could be the land of chaos that would be left behind, wandering in the whispering shadows for eternity.

A soft sound came from her throat, and she shut her eyes, trying to block out the thought of Snow shambling in the darkness, crying out as only a Cie'th could, endlessly wandering the clouds of chaos until he could no longer bear the pain of his existence and became a stone, still awake, still crying out.

"Can you..." Her mouth went dry; she licked her lips, but it did little good. "Can you tell me anything about Snow right now, Hope? _Anything_ at all? Any change?"

His green eyes were solemn. "I'm having trouble penetrating the chaos. I'm sorry."

She rubbed a hand across her face. "I guess I'll find out for myself when I get down there. I mean, I have to at least try. But..." The hand fell away to her hip; she shook her head. "Without Etro, how can he _possibly_ come back from beyond the brink like that?" Feeling as miserable as she could without her emotions, she raised her eyes to his once more. "She could work miracles in ways we never can."

"I don't know, Light, but you have to remember that we've worked our own miracles before."

"Not like this, Hope." She sighed. "Not like this."

Turning to face her directly, he folded his hands in front of him. "I believe in you. If there's any way at all, I'm sure you'll find it. You never know, Caius might even be able to help somehow." There was a slight pause before his expression darkened. "And that reminds me. I wanted to request that you not keep so close to him. When you do, his chaos blocks out my sensors and our communications. I can't talk to you when he's around, and I can't keep an eye on you. Maybe I shouldn't worry, but you'd be safer without him."

She felt herself frown. "Maybe, but he _has_ helped me more than he's hindered me. But, I'll try to contact you more often to make up for it, Hope, I promise."

He looked ready to argue, but only sighed. "As you wish, Light. But Caius _is_ the chaos, in all the ways that matter. Keeping him around can't be good for your health, or your mission. Just remember not to turn your back on him, and get some distance once in a while."

She tipped her head. "I'm standing here in front of you, perfectly fine. Obviously, he's not doing anything to me."

His eyes left hers. "No. I suppose he's not."

"What is this about, Hope?"

"It's..." He looked at her, broke the gaze again, then returned it and smiled. "...nothing, really. I just want you to be safe, Light. I don't know what I... what _we_ would do without you." As he spoke, his voice softened and his eyes seemed to become more intense than she'd ever seen them.

Averting her own, she said, "Vanille said to say hi, by the way. She's safe now."

"Safe? Did you get her away from the Order?" When she nodded, he looked relieved. "Excellent. I'm glad to know that she'll be safe, too. Soon, we'll all be together again, like old times."

"And you'll be glad to know the clavis has been destroyed."

Dead silence followed her words. Lightning stared at him, waiting for him to respond. The air seemed to grow stale and cold, the smile frozen on his face. The longer the silence went on, the more uncomfortable she became, thinking that it looked all too similar to the last time he had seemed to go stiff. Even his eyes seemed hollow, and now she felt like she was staring at some sort of doll.

"That is... good to hear." He sounded strained. "The people in the chaos won't be threatened by obliteration, and no one will have to be sacrificed to cleanse them."

Lightning frowned. "Did you... _know_?" She knew she didn't have to clarify what she meant.

"Bhunivelze knew," he said, the smile still frozen on his features. He blinked, looking confused, but the smile never changed. Unnerved, she took a small step back. There was no chaos here, only Bhunivelze's energy, so she had trouble feeling him out. Not that it mattered – all that greeted her was a shell, surrounding a core of light, that she couldn't penetrate. His heart was pure, at least, as far as she could tell.

And then she asked the question she almost feared to know the answer to. "Did Bhunivelze want those people to be destroyed, Hope? Do you know?"

"I did warn you that you could only save a select few. Perhaps they were not among them."

A chill settled into her bones. "Hope, I don't–"

"Where would you like me to send you, Light?" He interrupted her smoothly, the smile becoming genuine again, and she only stared, mouth half-open, at him.

She shook her head. Her worries would have to wait for later. "Yusnaan." She took another small step back, not knowing what else to say, and waited a moment longer before turning and making her way to the teleporter. As she stepped onto it, she glanced back and saw him looking at her still, eyes vivid even from this distance.

She frowned again as the teleporter clicked to life.

But instead of the world below, she opened her eyes to shadows.

After a moment of hesitation, she slowly rose to her feet and looked up at the facsimile of the crystal throne to see Lumina sitting atop it as usual. Neither of them spoke, studying one another in absolute silence but for the beat of her own heart in her ears, rubbing her fingertips across one another. The girl was smirking, her chin resting on her folded hands, but she said nothing, looking down at the older woman like some sort of predator.

Lightning took a breath. "What do you want?"

The girl bared her teeth in a childlike, and chilling, grin, before slipping off onto the floor. "Wow, no need to be so grumpy. I'm not here to _kill_ you or anything. You act like I'm some sort of monster." Clasping her hands behind her back, she walked slowly forward, head tilted, and said nothing more.

"I don't have time for games," she reminded the girl. "Tell me what you want and make it quick."

She shrugged. "Helping you remember what you lost. This is all that's left of your heart, this little chunk of darkness bound to your soul." Cupping her hands and holding them out, she stopped smirking. "But that's okay. I can help you remember. See? Isn't it cool?" She opened her hands, and a sphere of shadow appeared and expanded. In it swam a multitude of murky shapes, and it settled over her with a sigh.

For a moment, she stood rooted to the spot, seeing herself climbing up the crystal steps to the throne, a view from the outside as her vision dimmed and her body turned to a shining stone. She saw herself with Serah in those last moments, then her memories from before then – Serah falling to her knees in Noel's arms, her own body flung across the clearing to land hard on stone after an attack from behind.

"When you became a crystal, you held Serah, bound to this world. Her heart, her memories – they were with you the whole time. You kept her safe, just like you promised." Lumina's voice was much softer than she had ever heard out of her before, and her blue eyes were serious.

Lightning brought a hand to her breast as memories came rushing back. The chaos dissipated; she could think clearly again. "She _was_ here," she murmured. It was true. She knew that now. Serah _had_ been there, had been safe with her in the chaos for all those centuries. "She _was_."

"But you see, Bhunivelze needed someone to play his games, and in you, he had the perfect tool and the perfect way to get you moving." Lumina tapped her chin with one finger. "So, when he comes for you, he takes Serah away and your heart with it. You've only got a small piece left. It's what makes you, you."

"My heart?" She rubbed a finger across the silver emblem on her armor. "Why would he do that? He _promised_ me he would give her to me. Why take her to begin with?"

Lumina smirked again. "Really, sis, you're so dense when you wanna be. Because you probably wouldn't have done what he asked otherwise. Saving mankind for his perfect new world? Yeah, right." She tilted her head. "Bhunivelze's promise is a lie, and Hope in his Ark is a lie. If you honestly think the guy who killed his mother really wants to help you, you might want to open your eyes a little." The smirk broadened. "Before something happens, like... finding out _you're_ some kind of lie, too. Don't trust Hope."

Lightning scowled, but couldn't deny that the words had pierced the shell around her doubts, and said nothing.

Lumina raised one eyebrow. "So, you need all the help you can get, right?"

Still she said nothing, scowl crumbling away.

"Moving on." The girl laced her fingers. "There's someone who wants to talk to you." She looked over at a shadow that had begun to form to her right. "Well?"

Grateful for the distraction, Lightning also looked at the shadow and watched it take form. "Yeul?" she murmured in surprise as a girl formed out of the shadow. And more than that, it was the one who had expressed her love of Caius to her inside the temple – she recognized the heavy gaze, the stronger bone structure of a girl so close to reaching maturity, the longer limbs and slender shape of a young woman. The oldest she had yet seen, she now saw, and the one with the fiercest eyes. "Wait, how are you _here_ in my heart?"

"Your heart's made of chaos, duh," Lumina said. "Anything else made of chaos, or with enough of it, can come in."

Lightning frowned and looked back at the girl. "Why are you here?"

The girl held her head high. "I am the Yeul of War, the oldest any of us have ever been allowed to live before we had to pass on. I have come to tell you something very important, to show you." Raising one hand, she waved it through the air, and all around them the chaos formed pillars that became familiar shapes. Lightning felt her chest tighten at the sight – Snow, Noel, Fang... all of them lined up and gazing steadily, expectantly, at her.

When her mouth fell open in surprise, Lumina said, "See? All your friends!"

And then, just like that, they vanished.

"Whoa, wait. What's that about?" The girl raised both eyebrows. "Oh, I get it, they can't reach you! Your heart's closed off to them, so they can't ever help you out."

"You cannot be afraid to reach out, Liberator," the young woman said. "These are your family. They will help you, but you must not continue to believe that you can bear all your burdens, and all those of the people you are trying to help, all by yourself. You are strong, but you cannot forget the bonds that have tied you to these people. Even the greatest warrior cannot hope to fight alone forever."

"I..." She swallowed, looked at the ground. "...don't need their help, not yet."

"And yet you have taken Caius away from us to aid you. You will allow your old enemy to stand at your side, but you will not reach out to those you know you can trust for help?"

Slowly, she returned her gaze to Yeul's cold green one, not missing the venom that crept into every word. "I didn't take him from you. I accepted his help because he could help _you_. The more he helps me do my job, the easier things get, and the more time the world has." She folded her arms and shifted her weight to one leg. "He gets to spend eternity with you. Why complain now?"

"Because he wishes to die, even now, but cannot. And..." The girl's voice trailed off into the softest of sighs through her nose, and her eyelids fluttered as her gaze dropped briefly to the ground. "You... you can't understand, but I will try to tell you. Every moment with him is infinitely precious. Being separated from him is..."

Lightning waited for her to finish, but when she didn't, she said, "You told me all of you love him dearly. You were intent on making that clear, but it's..." And then, in the back of her mind, something clicked, something she wanted to kick herself for. It had been so obvious. _Unbelievably_ obvious. It should have been as obvious to her as the stars in the sky for how clearly it came to her then. "You love him."

Despite focusing on Yeul, she didn't miss Lumina's smirk. "We told you this," Yeul said.

"No, you didn't. You left _that_ part out." She let her arms fall back at her sides before lifting both hands to rest on her hips. "It's not just love. All of you love him in some way, but _you_..." An unexpected flicker of anger filtered into her blood. "You are _in love_ with him, and you're making him _suffer_ like this?"

"You _cannot_ understand." Yeul's voice never lost its softness, but the tone turned sharp as a whip. "You can _never_ understand. You do not know what it is like to feel the pain of separation or the heartache that follows."

"I love my sister," she said. "That is–"

"It is _not_ the same." As the venom and the bitterness vanished, all that was left behind was sadness, and she looked exhausted. "Do not judge me for what you cannot understand. We have all made our choices, and my choice is never to be separated from him again. Though he desires death, he will quash that desire to serve us as we wish. That is how he has always been, and that it how it will always be. That is how it _should_ be."

Lightning felt her gaze waver before it drifted away. "I know."

"I will not be separated from him. I cannot." Her eyes were strong, proud, cold as ice in the deepest winter, but her expression never changed. "His is a soul you cannot save. If you know what is best, you will release him from your servitude and return him to our side, where he belongs."

"You come here, upset at me for accepting his help, then demand he goes back," she muttered.

"I was the one who encouraged him to go to ease the pain in his heart. It is always there, rippling through the chaos, and we can feel it eternally. However, you do not need him as we do. Your heart does not ache when he is gone, as it does for so many of us, not just for me. While I cannot force you to acquiesce, I am asking you."

Lightning looked at her. "And then?"

"And then we will withdraw, and you will not see us nor our Guardian again."

Lumina rocked back on her heels, looking immensely pleased, while Lightning pondered the options, but only long enough to take breathe deep. "He wants to help me. He's _been_ helping me. When the end comes, your heart will no longer ache because of separation, and if he continues to help me, you also won't have to feel his pain for the rest of eternity. Isn't that enough? Isn't that worth leaving him with me for?"

For a moment, Yeul's eyes narrowed, but her expression softened in a heartbeat. "As you wish."

"Good." She sighed. "Anything else?"

"You must understand what Bhunivelze is and the tales of the deities like him, or you will not succeed when the final moments come to pass. How can you hope to save everyone when you cannot even hope to save yourself? Are you willing to fight and kill Hope if needed? Who will be the last soul you save, and who, then, will liberate the Liberator?" And before the woman could retort, the girl became a shadow and vanished in the sound of a hundred whispers that dissipated into the dark.

"Now you get it." Lumina smirked wider. "There's just some things you can't help, you know."

Lightning bit the inside of her lip. "Not even Snow?"

"Probably not. Besides, it's the fate he wanted. If he dies, he gets to reunite with Serah, and if he doesn't, he's got to live knowing that the man who _killed_ the love of his life still lives, while she had to die." The cruelty of Lumina's words was only amplified by her smirk becoming a smile. "Can you _imagine_? How that would break his heart and ruin him forever. Are you _sure_ you even want to _try_? You _should_ just kill him."

She took a deep breath and let it out slowly, but the girl's words were digging ever further into her shell.

"You know it's what he'd want."

She looked up to offer her thoughts on the girl's declaration, but the image of the throne room surrounded in shadow wavered and melted into a hazy image of the real world, like an overexposed picture, and slowly faded out of the light into the true colors of reality. She felt something hard on her back and grew acutely aware of something between her and the hot sun she'd appeared beneath.

Groaning softly, she managed to push herself up onto her elbows, and when she blinked away the last vestiges of the darkness, she made sense of the shadow standing over her. "How long was I out for?" she murmured.

Caius, crouched beside her, met her eyes. "A few minutes."

"Huh." Feeling her joints work out the stiffness of the landing on their own, she managed to get up onto her feet, and her companion straightened beside her. She looked all around to realize she was not standing in the desert, but in a plaza surrounded by the kind of architecture that plainly spelled out that it was Yusnaan. She could go after Snow right away, then, and then she could bring him with her to the desert and show everyone, if he would leave.

Without meaning to, she heaved a deep sigh, hanging her head.

If he _could_ leave. If she could save him.

"Since I'm here, let's finish getting the stuff for that elixir." Trying to ignore the worry gnawing at her bones, she fished the list out of her sling. Most of the ingredients were checked off, and only two remained. It would at least distract her from her dismal thoughts about the suffering patron.

She looked at Caius, and he gazed back in silence.

_What does she love about him?_ Perhaps it had been special circumstances, but what else did she find so enthralling about him that she preferred to cause him to suffer rather than be removed from his side permanently? Did she admire his strength? His spirit? Something else she couldn't see?

Aware she was beginning to stare at him, she swallowed and returned the list to her sling. "Caius?"

He made a soft sound of acknowledgment.

"Who..." Would he know which girl was meant by the title? "Who is the 'Yeul of War'?"

She _thought_ she saw his expression tighten, but if so, it vanished just as fast. "The oldest, born six years before the War of Transgression, living nearly eleven years after it." Early morning sunlight shimmered across his hair as he tilted his head in a quizzical expression. "Why do you ask?"

"I met her, that's all. Nothing more."

Instead of speaking, he looked off into the city.

Lightning let her eyes rove over him a moment. Things had changed between them, she knew. Not so long ago, she had not dared trust him with her back, but now she knew she could. His pledge of protection had convinced her, and now she knew he would hold himself to the words he had spoken then. Whatever war they had fought was over, and he was no more willing to fight her than any of the Yeuls he loved.

The realization made her heart tighten. _No more war_. The dark warrior who had decimated her world, her family, her _life_, would probably never raise a blade against her again.

Unexpected bitterness slithered into her heart. It wasn't right. The man who had so callously destroyed so much – not just her _own_ existence and her own _reason_ for existing – should not have escaped his fate or been allowed to live on by those who adored him so. And she didn't understand _why_ they did. It made no sense to her how _anyone_ could love this creature enough that they would rather chain him to life for eternity than be away from him. What made him so precious to them? What was so special about him?

But it was also pathetic, she admitted to herself. He wanted to die, escape his fate for however long it had taken to sink in, and he couldn't even have that. His casual impalement upon his evil sword told her he had tried it before, and enough times to know he would be revived without fail.

Lightning felt the remains of her heart being pulled two directions, and buried her face in her hands.

The sensation of his chaos enveloped her, at the same time as she heard him move across the porous stone that made up the street. "Are you alright, Lightning?" he said to her.

Unsure how to answer, she lowered her hands. His expression was as cool as ever.

"Fine." She shook her head. "The market. We should find what's needed there." She brushed past him and proceeded up the wide stone steps to the open-air market. He followed close behind her, as he always did, as she climbed up into the delicious scents and quiet chatter of the early morning shops. No doubt they were open to get their wares out and customers in before the heat of the day sent everyone scurrying for shade.

"What is left?" was his query.

"Just a couple of ingredients. Should be able to get it to her today." She glanced over her shoulder at him. "Didn't I tell you to call me 'Light'? What happened to that?"

"Ah, yes," he said. "I had forgotten. Is it intended to be permanent?"

"No. You don't have to use it if you don't want." As she made her way into the market, feeling a little overwhelmed by all the scents mingling in the air, she tried to pick out a stall that would have the ingredients she needed. There were only a few people walking around right now, but she knew that number would grow quickly. "After we do this, we're going back to the palace to deal with Snow, then Cardesia, and then..." She hesitated. "And then I don't know. Out to the desert to see the others, I suppose. I did say I would."

Caius was silent as she picked up the ingredients from two different stalls. As she moved away, passing a food vendor grilling chunks of meat and vegetables, making her salivate a bit, she wrapped the ingredients into a bundle and managed to fit all of it into her sling.

"So, tell me," she said, "would you rather be here, or at the temple with Yeul?"

The question caused him to cock one eyebrow at her and tilt his head slightly. "That seems an odd question. Is there something in particular that caused this?" Before she could answer, his eyes narrowed slightly. "Do you bring this up because of your conversation with the Yeul of War?"

"Maybe." She searched his eyes, but they betrayed nothing. "Just answer the question."

Armor creaked as he folded his arms and met her eyes with an even stare. "I know where I belong," he said. "I know to where I must go when this is over, and I know what I must do while I am here. This world does not have long to live. I will make of it what I can." He kept his eyes on hers, back straight as a rod.

_We encouraged him to go to ease the pain in his heart_. Caius was being cryptic, as usual, but he was answering her question, even if she didn't fully understand what he meant. The end of the world and the suffering of its people pained him, even if she couldn't understand the depth of it. Or maybe she didn't want to. Even now, after his pledge, after having reality pitched at her feet by Yeul and his own mouth, she didn't want to see.

"You will always be the man who caused the end of the world," she murmured. "You will _always_ be the one who caused my sister's death. But I know you're in pain. I know everything that's happened hurts you. I wish I could ease it better than just allowing you to witness what happens when you help."

His expression could have been carved from stone for how much it changed. "I do not deserve to have my burdens lifted, and I do not deserve salvation. The best I can hope for is to go into the chaos knowing that those who live on have fewer scars on their hearts." But though his expression betrayed nothing, his carefully-controlled voice still sounded thick with so much emotion that she didn't dare try to sort out.

She stared. "It's been five hundred years. All that time, you've been with the girls you killed the world to save, but you're definitely not the same man I knew. What _happened_?"

A pause, and then, "Would it matter if I told you? Would it change anything?"

Lightning went quiet, flexing her fingers at her sides. The silence stretched on; their eyes never moved from where they had met. This was not Valhalla, not an endless realm of sadness and death, a land of pain and suffering, from where she had watched helplessly while her sister traveled through innumerable dangers and faced impossible odds, only to die at the end. There was nothing to be found in hanging onto old wounds except futility.

"Maybe," she admitted, softly, hesitantly.

Though it was possible that she have imagined it, a shadow slipped from his features; a flicker of surprise followed. "I will always carry these burdens, and this pain," he said, and took a few steps closer. "No one can never rid me of it entirely. But..." His arms fell back to his sides. "...perhaps it will become easier."

She lifted her chin. "That _is_ my job, you know." She felt no unease this time at his proximity. To see him as a warrior, not as a demon, felt much better than she expected, as if some burden of her own she had not known of had lifted from her soul. Feeling strangely awkward in the resulting quiet, but oddly relieved, she turned her back and began walking again, with him beside her as usual.

The palace gates stood ajar, the statue still toppled over and broken into pieces, most of it scattered across the plaza, the walls still dusty from the impact. Guards watched the gates, overseeing the workers hauling away stone and other debris, coming in and out of the gates to stack it on carts to be hauled away. Inside the plaza, even more could be seen working to fix the damage. For a moment, she felt slightly guilty, remembering the events that had led to the devastation, but understood that, at the very least, it gave them something to do.

Lightning sighed. "I was afraid of this." She quickly scanned the perimeter, noting that quite a few guards were present, though only a few wore the Order's distinct armor.

"The best way forward is the most obvious," he told her. "Perhaps they will know of you."

"But what if those guards didn't tell everyone that I'm welcome here?" She ran a hand across her hair. "Maybe all they got was that I'm responsible for the patron disappearing."

"Only way to find out, Lightning."

So, he wasn't going to get into the habit of calling her "Light", not that it mattered. That he was content to say her name at all was enough. "Well, I guess so. It's not like we can't take them on if they cause trouble, anyway." She straightened up and walked into the plaza, boldly crossing the path of several guards, with Caius matching her step-for-step at her side. No one seemed keen on approaching them, despite the fierce stares.

And she had a good idea why that was.

They were not stopped until they reached the second gate, which normally opened to the main courtyard of the palace – beautifully landscaped, with stone and marble making up the paths that threaded their way between well-kept shrubbery and enormous flowering plants. Just looking at it made her feel warm inside – it reminded her of Bodhum, and of the vast, thickly-vegetated landscapes of old Gran Pulse.

Where the statue had punched through the wall, more guards were stationed and barriers were up. It would be easier to climb than to try to get through the gates, but rather than cause a scene unless she had to, she instead approached the guard at the gate, who stood beside a dangerous-looking, four-legged beast.

Lightning gave it a berth, recognizing it as one of the gorgons that had littered Gran Pulse in the old days, though this one was a little smaller and seemed relatively tame.

"Not any closer," the guard told her, and she stopped dead as he asked. Caius did the same.

"I am a friend of the patron's," she said. "I need to–"

"I don't much care if you _are_ the patron himself." The guard, a tall, tan-skinned man with stern eyes, leveled her with an even stare and looked completely unfazed. "No one is allowed inside the palace."

She folded her arms. "I brought down that statue. You really gonna stop me?"

The man looked ready to do exactly that, but though he reached for his rifle, he stopped upon grasping it. "I value my life more than my job," he muttered. "I'll admit that much. Even still, I can't let you through. It's not just for you, it's everyone's safety. There's some kind of monster in there."

"Really?" Feeling cold, she lowered her arms. "Any idea what kind?"

"Rumors mention a Cie'th." His expression never changed, still fixed – rather unnervingly – on hers. "I won't be the one going in there to find out. It's already attacked some of our squads." He slid one hand off his rifle to wave it through the air. "Some died. It can be hard to tell where it is, so no one goes in." Pause. "Ever."

Lightning swallowed. "Do you know who the Liberator is?"

The man gave her a wry smirk. "Heard of her. Let me guess, you're her?"

"Yeah, and, between the two of us, I'm sure we can stop that monster."

The guard looked between her and Caius, the smirk vanishing, for a long time. The sun had begun to warm the air, heating the chill out of the breeze, and the distant sound of birds told her the world was waking up. "I don't doubt that," he said at last, "but it's not up to me. If you're really her, then you can do it, but I'm not the captain. That is up to Cora. She's around here somewhere."

"Cora? Is she the captain of the guard, or the shift captain?"

"She's one of the captains, and she– ah, never mind, she's right over there." Nodding and drawing her gaze, he indicated a woman across the plaza, darkhaired, her armor not quite enough to hide the thickness of her body that came from strength of muscle and bone. Lightning nodded to him and made her way over to the woman, at one point having to scramble over debris to get to her.

Cora turned to her as she came close. "You look like trouble," she said, calmly.

Lightning sighed. "I'm a friend of the patron's. I need to get inside the palace, and I know you're not letting anyone in because of some sort of monster in there, but it's very important. Urgent, even." Taking a breath after spilling the words, she waited, somewhat anxious, for the captain to speak. "My name is Lightning."

Cora looked at her for a long time before speaking. "Everyone knows Snow was a Cie'th," she murmured. "All of us know who is most likely to be the monster in the halls." Her shoulders sagged. "I was one of the last people to see him when he was human, and I know how much he has been hurting all these centuries."

Lightning didn't miss the snag in the other woman's voice and felt what was left of her heart tighten. "I'm going to try to save him," she murmured. "He still needs to marry my sister, you know."

Cora's eyes were unreadable. "Serah? Is she alive?"

"She will be. When we all go to the new world, she'll be waiting for him."

There was a long, pregnant pause before the captain spoke again, and her voice sounded heavy, even as her face stayed emotionless. "That is good to hear," she said. "I know that would do his heart good to see her again. He has never stopped loving her." Jointed metal _clinked_ quietly as she shifted her weight. "I see no reason for you not to go into the palace. If you think there is a chance, please, take it."

"I have to try," Lightning murmured, trying desperately to ignore what was so painfully obvious in the other's dark eyes. "And if I can't save him, I will end it myself."

Cora dipped her chin, but said nothing else before turning her back.

Lightning forced herself to turn away before returning to the courtyard gate. The guard there took one look at her before silently stepping aside, tugging the gorgon beside him along with him. The animal's beady eyes looked her over, but though it sniffed the air as she passed, it made no hostile movements, staying right where it was as she pushed open the gate and stepped into the courtyard.

Caius was silent for a long time, not speaking until they passed through the archway of the main entrance. "Cora has a burden of her own," was his quiet comment.

She didn't have to ask what he meant. "It's been five centuries. She probably knew him a long time, being a captain and all." After all, what was there to stop her except respect for the chain of command? Serah was gone, and even Snow had not believed she would return.

As they moved inside the palace, she saw spots of sunlight streaming through windows, forming dappled patterns on the polished marble floors – a harsh contrast to the last time she had been here. Though shadows still clung to the pillars and corners, they felt normal, natural, rather than dreary. The way the light bounced off the marble filled most of their surroundings with the golden glow of early morning light. Through the windows, she caught glimpses of clear blue skies and couldn't help thinking that it all felt too strange.

"It's very quiet," her companion observed.

"Yeah, and there's no enough shadows for him to hide in," she said as they ascended wide, red-carpeted steps to a broad landing flanked by flowering plants. The air smelled sweet. "What I don't get is, if it _is_ him, how he escaped that room. I sealed it tight. You saw me do it."

"He has grown more powerful." He spoke in a low voice, just loud enough for her to hear. "He no doubt broke out of containment on his own."

"But if he got more _powerful_, then..." She turned widened eyes to him. "Wait, do you think..."

"Cie'th left alone long enough grow more powerful with time," he said. "If left unchecked, there can be only two fates for them. One is to be overcome by despair and become a living stone, eternally calling out their Focus to anyone who will hear them." There was a lengthy pause before he continued. "The other befalls those who have come to despise their fate and envy the living."

"Snow has no reason to," she pointed out. "The only person who mattered to him is dead."

Expressionless, but with eyes thick with emotion, he gazed at her. "Lightning, the love of his life is dead, and the one who caused her death still lives."

Lightning averted her eyes, the possibility making her mind reel.

"Snow's mind is no longer his own," he added, voice soft. "Whatever thoughts and feelings were with him when he transformed are what carry into his crystalline purgatory. Tell me, if you would, what you witnessed of him just before he absorbed the chaos and became what he is?"

She stopped, hanging her head. "He was grieving, I think. And, I think he was angry at you."

Caius sighed. "Then, you understand."

Though only part of her heart remained, all of it ached when she looked up at him. "I can't let him go on like this. I have to try to make a miracle, or I have to cut him down. I'll exhaust _all_ my options before I kill him. But I don't think he'll give me a choice." Feeling cold all over, she rubbed a hand across her face, thinking of when she first met him, lifetimes ago, and demanded he stay away from Serah. She thought of leaving him in Lake Bresha, carving away at the crystal Serah had become embedded in with no thought to his own well-being. She remembered his promise to see Serah together while standing on an outcrop on Gran Pulse, of him giving her sister his pendant as a promise to return, of the hazy glimpse she'd seen of him being branded by Cactuar, the fal'Cie.

All of those memories would remain regardless of his fate, but she wouldn't be able to bear the grief on Serah's face if she came back and Snow's arms weren't there to greet her.

"I have to try," she murmured, and began walking forward again, but before she had gone more than a few feet, a shriek fit to shatter glass ripped through the still air and caused her to stumble back in shock.

Caius's eyes were grim. "He found us," he said.

Lightning's sword felt heavier than it ever had when she lifted it off her back. _That isn't Snow anymore, it's a thing_, a voice in the back of her mind whispered. _Give him the fate he wanted. Relieve him of his pain and reunite him with his beloved_. Taking a deep breath, she began to run in the direction of the Cie'th's battle cry.

* * *

_This chapter flowed really easily for some reason, hence the quick update. It's probably because we're finally past the "setup" chapters and into the meat of the story. Less filler from here on, more focus on action and characters. I would still say it's going to be around the length of "Hearts in Chaos", but not in terms of word count - I fully expect this story to be longer that way, but the number of chapters to be similar._

_We are now on the doorstep of some of my biggest changes to canon. Stay tuned._


	28. Fractures

**_27 Fractures_**

Even in the thick ambient haze of the chaos, Lightning could still think clearly, even though her memories seemed to come much easier with it enveloping her on all sides.

Meeting Snow for the first time, unimpressed with his boisterousness and confidence, slowly growing to despise him for taking Serah's time in such a pointless manner.

Laying him out flat on the floor of the Pulse Vestige, trying desperately to cope with the nightmare that had unfolded before her eyes, breaking apart at the sight of her crystallized sister.

Half-panicking at the realization that she had unwittingly turned Hope onto a destructive path of revenge and not knowing how to stop it from ending in Snow's murder.

Apologizing profusely for her behavior, and resolving to build a new future.

Following him when he insisted on soothing the endless, pained cries of the Cie'th-stones.

Giving her blessing on the plains below the crystallized Cocoon, and smiling for real when he assured her, with as broad a smile as the sky, that he would make her sister happy.

Asking him to stop the flan from destroying the pillar, and knowing that he would.

Watching him fight his life away in the Coliseum, under the watchful eye of the Arbiter of Time, hoping against hope that the skills he honed would never need to be used.

The memories formed, perfectly clear, within her mind. Though so many of her emotions were gone, the memories invoked feelings so strong that she felt their pressure on what remained of her heart. It was on her to save Snow from this fate, as it had been her fault to begin with.

Hers, and Caius's as well, but _she_ was the one who hadn't listened to reason.

The marble floor and vaulted ceiling amplified her pounding bootsteps until each one sounded like a gunshot, and she knew he could hear her, wherever he was. Caius was right behind her; she felt the fringes of his chaos around her, enveloping her. This was the sensation that prevented Hope from keeping an eye on her, she knew, even if he could still track the gloom wherever she went. He could hear nor see nothing with Caius nearby, and she wasn't sure how to feel about that. She wasn't sure she _cared_.

The further they went from the entrance, the stronger Snow's chaos became. When they suddenly ran across a threshold onto a balcony overlooking a huge atrium, she didn't think before leaping over the railing and landing on the floor below. Enormous windows greeted her with sunlight and blue sky, and above them glimmered the chandelier Lumina had broken five days ago, suspended in the grip of silver-blue crystal.

She stood from tucking and rolling, straight into a blast.

Barely deflecting it with her shield, she dropped to one knee behind its comparative safety and peered through the white flash at the room itself. The chandelier and its slender crystal pillar – so much resembling Cocoon, she thought now, in its final moments – still stood, casting a long, gray shadow across the floor. The rest of the place was filled with color and light, except for the chill in the air.

"Snow? Snow!" she called out, desperate to get his attention, praying she could pierce the crystal shell to get to the man deep inside. "Where are you? Come out!"

The Cie'th cried out again, a shrill wail that made her head swim; dizzy, she fell back, catching herself with a hand, but the world spun around her, rocking her until she felt sick. To her shock, the windows didn't shatter, though she saw a crack form across one of them.

She remembered her brief stint as a Cie'th – dark, cold, painful. She remembered their battles against the ancient, powerful Cie'th that had lived for untold centuries, fueled by envy and anger and grief. If Snow was still in there, he could no longer control his own body and wanted to be free of his prison. Her blade could give him the end he so desired, and he knew it. What was worse was that she was _compelled_ to give others the desires of their hearts, and in this manner she found herself drawn to that final fate.

_Bhunivelze wants this?_ The thought soured her stomach. _Bhunivelze would want me to kill someone rather than find some way to help them?_

"Snow, please." She fought against that drive and rose to her feet, eyes sweeping the room, searching both shadow and light, trying desperately to find the man whom her sister's soul loved. "_Please_. Come out, please, let me try to save you from this fate. Let me _try_." But what could she do? Could she reach his heart, encased now in cold crystal, and somehow force him to reverse his fate, or would he remain a monster, with no Etro to turn him back into a human being? "Snow, where _are_ you? Snow!"

Again came the wail, right before something dropped off the balcony to her right, so heavy that when it landed, it cracked the floor underfoot, and she stumbled back.

In just a day and a half, the Cie'th had undergone a noticeable transformation, more crystals shooting off from its body, one arm having grown large, thick, coated in crystal formations. The face in the middle had frozen into an expression of horror, its eyes covered by sheets of black crystal. Streaks of color had appeared on its limbs, and the checkerboard pattern had spread further across its body.

Lightning stared at in shock for a moment, and it was long enough for it to race toward her, chucking out pearls of light, and ram right into her. Caught completely off guard by how fast it had moved, she scrambled to get out of the way, but it suddenly went flying, crashing into a pillar and cracking it. As she climbed to her feet, she saw Caius a short distance away, knees bent, just lowering one hand from where he had blasted the monster away.

Lightning looked at the Cie'th, feeling a war brewing inside her. It was Snow, but it was a Cie'th powered by huge amounts of chaos, which had apparently accelerated its normal transformation. Now, all of that chaos was encased inside its body, swirling and building ever further into a singularity fit to burst. Horror had begun to creep over her as she realized _what_ exactly she was looking at.

_Etro is gone_. There was no Etro. There was only her, and the immense power Bhunivelze had given her.

Yet Bhunivelze, she knew, couldn't touch the chaos.

The fringes of anguish squeezed her heart as the Cie'th came back up onto its feet, and she raised her shield... only to watch as it heaved a slew of powerful blasts at her companion instead of her, apparently deciding that he was a more worthy target than her. That, or it had remembered something from Snow's memories and instinctively knew that he was to blame for its current state.

As Caius toppled back, he vanished in midair and reappeared behind the monster, a flash of light knocking the Cie'th to the ground. It heaved itself back upright, distorted groans filling the air, and turned on him, shambling forward with more speed than its bulk belied. Caius attacked it again, and it swung around and bashed him into the far wall. It cracked; he fell to the ground, but wasted no time getting back upright.

Lightning pulled a blast of her namesake out of thin air; tiny crystals popped off its body and scattered across the floor at the explosion of energy. It wailed, falling to its knees.

She ran forward and swung her blade in a cross-cut; it fell onto its back.

For a moment, she saw him from centuries past, shouting that he could save Cocoon _and_ everyone on it, _and_ her crystallized sister, and her striking him, twice in a row, both times taking him down to the frozen lake. Both times he had stood up with fire in his eyes, and somehow, he had either convinced her of the truth, or she had realized it was futile to try and discourage him anymore.

_We will see her again, right_, he murmured to her, head down, staring at the grass.

"Caius!" she shouted. "Tie him down!"

Instantly, a lattice of shadowy tendrils appeared from the ground, holding the struggling, groaning creature down on the polished marble. The bonds were _powerful_, she saw, easily pinning its body down, but that didn't silence it, still screaming, still wailing. Battling the wave of dizziness that overcame her, she approached the creature and stood over it, sword at the ready, staring down. Caius appeared on the other side, eyes narrowed, and his body language made it plainly obvious that he was concerned.

Into her sling she reached, withdrawing the pendant she had taken from Snow's bedside, and held it over the beast, letting it hang free as the Cie'th writhed beneath her.

"You promised eternity to Serah," she told him. "You promised never to abandon her, and yet here you are, a Cie'th, a monster, and of your own choice." She thought she felt the pendant prickle against her fingers with warmth, but it emitted no light this time. "Look at this pendant, Snow. Remember what it means? I don't think you really know how much my sister loves you." She hesitated, then said, "You are _precious_ to her. You protected her from my wrath and kept the bad dreams at bay. Don't you abandon her _now_."

The Cie'th had quieted, and though it still twitched, it seemed to be listening to her, if she dared hope.

"Who is she supposed to come back to, Snow? Me?" Her chest felt tight. "Right. Sure, I raised her and protected her and all, but I'm not the first one she went running to when she woke up, was I?" And there it was – the admittance, the knowledge, that she could never be what Snow was to her, that she would probably never again be the shield that protected her sister from the dangers of the world.

Her fingers tightened around the chain; the pendant clinked quietly as her hand trembled.

"She won't be dead forev–"

The Cie'th roared in her face, forcing her back, overcome with dizziness again. Unable to think, she nearly fell onto the floor, seeing through the haze as it abruptly stood and struck her with a backhand. Before she could recover, she saw it turn and go after Caius instead... and to her shock, he didn't make much effort to move out of the way and took the full brunt of the one-two punch, skidding across the floor.

Though her throat burned, she choked out his name, wondering what could have _possibly_ possessed him to do such a foolish, pointless thing.

Distorted groans filling the air, it ignored her, bringing its stony arms down, again and again, on her companion's shoulders until he was on the ground, expression twisted in pain and eyes shut. Lightning scrambled to her feet, forcing herself through the haze, and made a wild grab for a formation jutting out of its back.

When her fingers wrapped around it, she yanked hard.

"Why are you doing this? _Snow_!" She clawed at its back, pulling as hard as she could. The Cie'th groaned loudly and lit the floor around her on fire; she grunted from the sudden flare of heat and pain, but didn't let go, quickly dousing the flames with a thin puddle of water. "Don't you abandon Serah," she demanded of him, "and don't you try to tell me you deserve this end! You can't _do_ this to us!"

The Cie'th backhanded her again; she landed on her feet and slid, feet nearly shooting out from under her, but she snapped her hand out and pelted him with pearls of light, followed quickly up by a thunderclap that left her head ringing. The Cie'th cried out and fell to its side, flailing about like an upended beetle.

It'd have been comical but for the circumstances.

A swirling mass of shadows surrounded the creature, lifting it off the ground, and gravity seemed to reverse, raising the beast high into the air. A heartbeat later, it suddenly returned to normal, smashing it into the floor. The marble cracked, pieces of stone showering the floor, dust puffing up into the air. Just as she started to approach, a sudden wave of terribly frigid air chilled her to the bone and stopped her dead.

She gasped; Caius unleashed a fierce battle cry, and a wave of warm air chased away the chill. A flash of orange light flared on the other side of her eyelids; she opened them in time to witness a flame puff out of existence and saw scorch marks on the marble, surrounding the crater. At the same time, the sound of shattering glass came to them as the beast screamed again; one of the windows simply came apart. Bits of glass sparkled in the air like crystal before landing and scattering across the ground.

_Crack_ – the chandelier suspended in the air suddenly rolled off its perch as the crystal pillar snapped in half, some of it dissipating into chaos. The whole thing came down; Lightning gasped and scrambled to get out of way, and she looked back in time to see some of the long, slender formations shatter across the ground. The sound of cracking crystal rang through the air; streaks of sunlight scattered through the crystal, colors briefly painting a chaotic pattern across the floor, before it all struck and stopped.

The Cie'th, bowled over by the impact, climbed to its feet and screamed again. She reeled back, but saw through her pain as Caius suddenly brought it down with a snap of the wrist, tendrils of darkness wrapping tight around it and yanking it down into the floor and opening a crater in the marble.

When it tried to stand one more time, she slung a large pearl of white light into its face. It hung suspended in the air a moment, collapsed on itself, and exploded.

The Cie'th groaned in pain and fell back, its movements weak.

Lightning gasped air back into her lungs, regaining control over her body, and stalked over to it. Ignoring the uneven ground caused by its plummet, she fell to her knees, laid a hand on its chest – the cold, hard crystal a harsh reality, batting aside her wishes – and held the pendant out once more.

In silence, features completely unreadable, Caius lowered himself to one knee at her side, laying one hand on the torso of the Cie'th, helping hold it down.

She opened her mouth, and the words did not come. If she were not missing her heart, she knew she would not be able to hold back the tears. Reality faced her, cold and hard – this was Snow's corpse, sprawled out before her, his grave littered with crystals, lying in a vessel choked with chaos. It was an end unbecoming of such a cheerful man, whose heart was too big for her cynicism, who smiled in the face of opposition and demanded the very best of the people who came across. And he rewarded them in kind.

"Snow, if you're in there, then..." The pendant glittered in the light. "...then listen to me. _Listen_ to me. Serah is _not_ gone forever. She's going to come back, and she needs _you_ to meet her with open arms. The one who's gonna bear her to the shores of a new world is..." Her grip tightened. "...it's not me, Snow. It's _you_. It's always ever been you, and you can't leave her. You _can't_ leave her."

The Cie'th groaned softly, and the face embedded in the crystal gaped.

Out of her peripheral vision, she saw the exposed skin of Caius's hand turn pale, fingertips digging into the divots between twists of crystal, nails catching on minute imperfections. She followed the line of his arm up, but his face was hidden from her, bent down toward the Cie'th, hair falling to hide his expression.

She looked back at the monster. "Snow. Can you hear me?" Her voice was quiet. "Can you... _hear_ me?"

One arm moved weakly; she moved her knee to pin it down.

"Snow... Snow, please... no..." Barely above a whisper, feeling something sting her eyes, she moved her hand closer to the face in the crystal. "It can't end like this. It's not over. Why..." Her throat tightened; she shook her head and battled past it. "Why don't you come back? Fight your fate, you've done it before. You're too... you're too..."

The Cie'th groaned; the pendant glittered.

"...aren't you too... stubborn... to die?" The words came with so much difficulty that they felt like daggers on her tongue. They would cut her, she knew, and leaving her bleeding out words that no longer meant anything. He could not hear her. He was too far, his soul and his heart wrapped up in an indestructible shell.

_You know it's what he wants_. The voice came from the back of her mind; she pictured Lumina, head tilted, smirking at her, and closed her eyes, but the images only became clearer.

_How can you hope to save everyone when you cannot even save yourself?_

Defeat came in the form of the pendant slowly lowering to its rightful place on its chest, the glitter of the ancient silver too heavy to bear any longer. For a long time, she just sat there, sitting back on her heels, unable to believe that she had actually managed to _fail_ this quest to save her sister's love. This sad, pitiful creature was the way Snow would die, and if she could not save him, he would be lost to the darkness.

Then her companion said, broken-voiced, "Lightning, I... I am..."

She slowly raised her eyes to find him looking at her; her chest tightened at the emptiness that stared back, a pain she could never name etched deeply into his features. All she found was the endless void in his eyes, with no stars to guide her. For a moment, she saw with clarity, and understood.

Not trusting her voice, she only stared back, feeling hollow and, for the first time, truly grateful for the inability to feel any real emotions anymore.

The pendant moved, coming to rest beside the face that stared out into emptiness.

And slowly, Lightning, the Liberator, raised herself to her feet, her hand drifting to Caius's shoulder as she did, and for a moment, she rested it there, for the first time truly recognizing the power in his body, the strength hiding under the ancient armor, feeling the powerful, painful knot that was his heart scald her fingers and flow through her like a great river that threatened to sweep her away into its chaotic depths.

And then her hand fell away; she took a step back. Though Snow had been her friend, her comrade, once, that time was over. There was no returning to the past. Her sister had more strength of heart than many gave her credit for. She would live, and she would move on. Her heart would be scarred, and she would cry in the night, but she would _have_ to live on, if only just to honor his memory. Snow Villiers would never want the love of his life to go on and live a completely empty life; she had to give her heart again, and love again. And she would.

Her lips formed his name, but no sound came.

Caius withdrew his hand and rose, armor creaking in the silence, stepping back.

Feeling as though she gazed at herself from very far away, Lightning brought her hand over her shoulder, took the sword in her grip, and raised it, the broken end shimmering in the warm sunlight. The Cie'th – Snow Villiers – had not come to rest in the shadow, but in the dappled sunlight, a fitting resting place for someone whose smile had been able to bring light to the deepest shadows on their long journey. Its body glittered like the stars in the heavens, a strangely beautiful, peaceful sight for her heavy heart.

Her other hand came up, trembling, before she steadied it; she raised the sword over her head.

The Cie'th groaned, and even though she _knew_ the end that awaited him, she had trouble doing what needed to be done, fulfilling the promise she had made. Perhaps this _would_ save him, giving him the end he wanted. Perhaps he _would_ see Serah again. Perhaps, in the darkness beyond, he would find some semblance of peace. Maybe she would find him again, somehow, in some form she didn't yet know.

But enough was enough. The dream had to end someday, and her oath, her obligation, would cause her to act.

_You can't do this_, a voice cried, but she silenced it.

Dimly, she knew of Caius gazing at her. Lightning took a deep breath, braced, forced her mind past all barriers – _control your emotions_ – and made her choice, swinging the blade down with all the strength she had, as fast she could, knowing the blow would be final and fatal.

* * *

Five hundred years ago, Caius Ballad made a choice. Though his body had faded away into nothingness on the graying shores of Valhalla, he had known, even then, that he would be revived and live on to greet the eternity that would come. For him, it was an absolute victory, a final triumph, that would finally bring _peace_. His eternal charge would never again endure the pain of a short life, and he would never again have to endure the pain of having to be separated from her, over and over, knowing he could do nothing to even ease her suffering. He had watched Valhalla's chaos devour Gran Pulse, taking its form into its own, flooding the world, space, and all of time, wrapping up all of existence in its iron grip. The end came swiftly.

And, one by one, the Yeuls had risen out of the chaos, freed from their chains. Most had decried what he had done, but others had come to him, promising never again to let him go, never again to leave him. Soon, others had come to accept their fate, and they too had allowed their affection to become bonds.

Over it all had sat Lightning's crystal statue; there had been many a time when he had laughed at her for thinking her tenacity could win against his power, reminding her over and over – and hoping she could hear him in her dreams – that no one had been able to stop the end from coming.

And then the bonds became chains. In a few centuries, he was screaming, but there was no one left to hear him, no one who cared.

Again and again had he cracked his own body open. Again and again had he been revived.

They pleaded with him not to leave them. Then they _demanded_.

Watching Snow, who had always been willing to sacrifice so much of himself to help those around him, be reduced to a mindless monster, felt like a knife in his heart, one more of thousands. Another cold reminder that what he had done was unforgivable. That it had been _evil_. Snow would have sacrificed his very existence to save those he loved, or even those he had never met, and _never_ would have fallen to his level to accomplish it. Never would he even had _considered_ ending millions of lives to save only a single soul.

Caius had spent five hundred years facing up to it, every waking moment pouring over it, dismantling his motives and his foolishness, and the firestorm of bitterness became darkness. He deserved this fate. He deserved _worse_. To go on and exist in the new Valhalla that would come, existing eternally with the knowledge of what he had done, the pain and the guilt gnawing away, sunk into a pit of self-hatred... this was what he had earned.

And he deserved no forgiveness, no hope. He had raged at the darkness, at his own wildly chaotic heart, and fate had spat back in his face and forced him to submit.

So he did not ask for forgiveness. He did not ask for salvation. _That_ was for those with gentler fates, who had created far less grievances, who had not ruined countless lives in their vindictive quest for respite. He was reminded of it every day, bitterness always flowing through his blood, pain aching in his bones, his heart bound up and closed off behind steel walls and rings of black fire. Not even Yeul could pierce the upper layers to reach the core deep within, the one part of him no one yet knew. And even could he be granted any of those things, they would only follow him to the new world and slowly infect it as well.

And now, because of his crimes, Snow would be forced into nothingness. He would not even be able to see Serah again. He would go into the darkness and fade away.

He moved back, out of Lightning's peripheral vision, to hide his countenance from her. For her, and for Yeul, he had to be strong, could _never_ allow his weakness to bleed through. Lightning _must_ always see him as cold, malicious, and withdrawn, because if she was ever allowed to see anything else, he did not dare think what could happen. He did not want to consider what she might think of him _then_.

He had grown quite practiced at hiding his feelings, and though his features tightened and the familiar burn of his heart came to his eyes, he let none of it get any farther.

The woman beside him moved with purpose, with great reluctance, her broken sword shining brightly in the sun as she raised it high. Perhaps, after this, she would turn him away– but no, he realized, she would not. Her hand on his shoulder had told him that. He had felt the intent behind it. He knew what it meant. The damage was done. He never should have told her anything. He never should have admitted to the hurt that so grieved his soul and strangled his heart. But it was too late to take the words back.

As she held the sword up, she seemed to freeze in place, time standing still, and he gazed at her, unbidden thoughts rising and threatening to slip through to be voiced – memories of her crystal statue going from a monument of triumph to a reminder of his foolishness, of the Yeuls yanking him back from the brink again and again when he tried to escape his self-made prison, of pieces of the world he had once loved falling into the darkness and too many lives ending when they plummeted into the Sea and were devoured.

It took more effort than he expected to keep the dangerous, traitorous words from falling from his lips.

_Lightning, I am sorry. I am so sorry_.

Quick as her namesake, Lightning brought the sword down, a cry wrenching itself from her throat, and the blade flashed bright as it arced through the dappling of light toward the pitiful monster on the floor. Time seemed to slow; he could see every microsecond tick by as the razor-thin edge cut the air in two, and the blade took form as another in his heart, joining the multitude already gathered.

But then, something happened. Before her blade could meet the monster's body, a brilliant spark of light flared in the air, and her blade struck, then was repelled with enough force to send her backward. She could not even so much as cry out in surprise when her back landed on the floor, eyes shut tight, an expression of pain on her face. The force that had driven her blade back also pushed him away, and he landed beside her. A sudden surge of power split the air as easily as a galvanized blade and bloomed bright in the shadows, like a match lit in a dark room, forcing all of the shade to leap away as though scalded.

For a moment, there was nothing. The brilliance lingered, so bright that he could see nothing else, and he shut his eyes, wondering what this could possibly be _now_.

As it dissipated, he opened his eyes to see her stirring and sitting up. She rubbed her eyes, a soft groan leaving her, taking deep breaths, before lowering her hand to look over at the Cie'th again.

It was the sharp intake of breath that made him follow her gaze.

The brilliance was fading, slowly receding into the pendant that still rested on its chest until it became a pinprick of blue-white light. At the same time, the body crumbled into crystal sand around him as a ripple of light spread out like a flame devouring paper; the sand gathered at his sides before vanishing in ghostly flickers. From the sand appeared the body of Snow Villiers, still clad in the same black suit, but it was _him_, in human form, eyes closed and breathing coming in, slow and deep.

Lightning could not find words, he soon saw, and he was at a loss to explain it. Etro, the only one who had this power – she who had reversed the crystal stasis of the heroes on the Day of Ragnarok, who had brought the party back to human form in Orphan's cradle, who had scorched Fang's brand and put her to sleep with her fellow Oerban native within the silent ruins of their village – was dead. He had ensured it. There was no one left alive who still had the power to manipulate chaos and crystal in such a way.

And yet, he could not deny what had happened. There indeed was Snow, in human form, not moving except for his breathing – as though he slept, but was about to wake.

Lightning did not stand. She climbed instead to her knees, hands reaching out and fingers grasping at empty air in his direction, as though uncertain what to do. He saw her trembling as she moved closer, half-crawling across the cracked marble to his sides. At last, her hand found a place to land, on his arm, near his elbow, and he saw her fingers close around it. She whispered his name, over and over, more and more urgently, and then she shook his arm, trying, as he could see, to rouse him from his sleep.

Snow stirred in the crater formed by his landing, hair shimmering in the sunlight, eyelids twitching.

Again, she shook his arm, saying his name, now louder.

Eyes as blue as ice finally opened, partially shadowed from the angle; he stirred again, groggily but not weakly. The pendant shifted across his chest as he moved, the light no longer shining from it. As though he had always known it was there, he moved his hand with some difficulty to grasp it, closing his fingers around it.

"Sis?" he murmured. "Is... that... you?"

Lightning didn't seem to know what to do or what to say, still kneeling, still gripping his arm, still staring at him without any evidence of understanding on her features. Her mouth hung slightly open, and evidence of feeling could plainly be seen on her face, which was paler than normal.

Snow groaned and looked directly at her. His eyes had not completely focused as of yet. "Wait, weren't you about to kill me? What, uh... what happened, sis?"

Her lips parted a few times. "I... you... _remember_ that?"

"Yeah. I remember all of it. I remember transforming into a Cie'th and everything. And coming back. You beat me up... pretty good there, you know? Just like old times, huh?" The humor in his voice was light and forced; his lips twisted into a smirk without amusement.

Caius remained where he was, perfectly still, half-hoping, though knowing it to be futile, that the man would not notice he was still there. If the very sight of him and understanding of what he had done had been enough to turn him Cie'th, he did not dare risk triggering another episode.

"Snow." Lightning stared at him.

Snow held up his hand and opened his fingers, letting the pendant dangle from his grip. "This little thing seemed to be the catalyst," he murmured, "but I have no idea who or what did it. Maybe it was Serah?" At this, he chuckled a little and shook his head, then sat up. "Well, maybe it was. Stranger things've happened."

Lightning moved her hand from his arm at last to gently touch the pendant. "I don't think it was," she said, "but I couldn't tell you _what_ it was, either."

The smirk vanished. "So, I was wrong, you _didn't_ betray us. But..." Snow looked at Caius now; he felt dread creep into his heart, but allowed none of it to reach his countenance. Whatever Snow felt was just punishment, he would take it, and would take it in silence. It was the least he could do – and it truly _was_ all he could do; there was nothing greater that he could offer but to be a whipping boy for his failures.

Lightning also looked at him; he met her eyes, but thereafter returned them to Snow.

"You brought Serah's killer here." Snow's eyes grew dark and as deep as Valhalla's Sea. "This man killed the whole world, and Serah, the love of my life and _your_ beloved sister, yet you've allowed him to take up arms beside you, to help you. Why..." Now he turned his hollow eyes back to Lightning; the hand grasping the pendant lowered to his abdomen and rested there. "_Why_ would you do that?"

Lightning spoke gently, carefully, enunciating each word. "Caius is here to help me, and that is all he has done and tried to do. He's hurt no one else." Her eyes were fixed on Snow's; they did not waver in the slightest. "And he's also here to protect me when I need it. His power has been a great asset. Please, Snow, trust me when I say that he is _not_ here to cause trouble."

Blue fire ignited in the other's man eyes, a firestorm he turned on Caius, but Caius only stared back, still without expression, waiting to see what would happen.

The patron slowly climbed to his feet, wavering as he moved, obviously finding it difficult to stand in his human form after having spent so long shuffling about as a crystalline beast. His arms trembled, stilled, and his back straightened out, shoulders squaring. For several heartbeats, the two men leveled each other with stares, but each of a completely different nature – Caius did not miss the hostility and grief in the other's eyes, while aware that his own were cold and dark, betraying nothing at all.

The ambient chaos chilled. Caius instinctively braced.

Snow squeezed his fingers tighter around the pendant and turned his hand over so that the image of the broken Cocoon lay against the side of his fist. The chain twinkled in the light. He raised his other hand, fingers closing into a tight fist. "Serah, the love of my life and Lightning's beloved sister, died because of _you_. I became a l'Cie so that when the time came, I'd be able to save her, but..." Hesitating, his eyes closed; he took a deep breath. "Now I know it wouldn't have made a difference. At _all_. She traveled through time to solve paradoxes _you_ caused. Nothing could have prevented her death, because wherever they solved a mystery, you just created another. Even if I'd been there, I would've only been able to watch her _die_." His voice cracked, and he hung his head.

Caius focused on keeping his face neutral, but his heart constricted, the guilt and anguish he always felt building up until his chest began to feel tight.

"This is _your_ fault. I believe that. I will never _not_ believe that."

Fearful that his voice might betray him, he still spoke up. "As well you should, Snow."

Snow suddenly looked at him and opened his fist, slashing his arm from left to right in a single quick motion. A blast of ice collided with his chest, knocking him down to the hard marble floor, and for a moment, he couldn't breathe, lungs frozen by the freezing air. As he fell in a graceless heap, he made no effort to get up when he ended up splayed out on the floor on his side.

When he was finally able to look up at his assailant, he found to his surprise that Lightning had seized Snow's arm and locked it in place, fixing him with an unamused expression that dripped with displeasure. Snow was looking back at her, but his countenance showed anger and shock. For a few moments, there was silence; Caius had enough time to move to one knee, but otherwise stay on the floor.

Snow's eyes were feral and as cold as the element that gave him his name. "I can't believe you would–"

"Believe it," she told him. "Back off."

His captured hand curled into a fist; a flare of icy white light appeared on his arm. "You would let–"

"I'm getting tired of this," she interrupted him again. "What do you gain from hurting him, huh? You think you can somehow make him 'understand' something he doesn't already? Is it for some sort of vindication, or just so you would feel better? It's not like you, Snow." There was a pause; her eyes never left his. "You wouldn't be telling him anything he doesn't already know. Back _off_."

Snow growled softly, but with great and obvious reluctance, he did as she requested. She released him; he took a few steps back, tucking the pendant into a pocket of his jacket, then raising his left arm and examining it. A sigh left him. "I'm almost afraid to look," he muttered, and used his now-empty right hand to tug the sleeve up, rolling it when the fabric resisted him. "Let's see what w– huh?"

Caius eased himself to his feet while Lightning reached out to brush her fingertips over Snow's brand. Instead of the inky, angry black arrows, red lines, and single eye of a brand in its final stage, it had been replaced with a white, scorched, faded mark that glittered faintly in the center. While evidence of progression was visible, it seemed to have halted, or even lost its ability to progress altogether.

"That... doesn't that... that looks like, uh..." Snow stared at the brand, fascinated. "It looks like... _Fang's_ brand."

Lightning frowned. "But Etro stopped Fang's brand."

A hand moved to pat the pocket where he had stowed the pendant. "Did she?"

"From what I understand, yes. She reversed Fang's transformation into Ragnarok, sealed the brand so she still had her power but didn't run the risk of turning into a Cie'th, then put her and Vanille to sleep." Lightning lowered her hand. "That seems to be what happened here, too. But _how_?"

Snow looked at her. "Whatever brought me out of my Cie'th form used the pendant to do it." Pause. "Could... could it have been... could _Serah_ have done this somehow?"

Lightning looked at a loss for words.

Caius examined the mark from where he stood and considered what had happened – the flare of light, a brief feeling that something had split the chaos and surged into the void left behind just long enough to return him to his human form, and witnessing the power of Etro at work. He knew, beyond all doubt, that Etro was gone, yet something had manifested her power and granted Snow a great blessing.

"I don't believe so," he said, quietly, drawing their eyes to him. "Serah is tenacious and strong, yes, but she would not have the ability to do this, even from within the chaos."

Lightning said, "What about Yeul? Could she do this?"

Caius considered this. "It's... possible," he admitted, "but I don't think she did it, either. I did not sense her power when it happened. Rather, I felt something I did not recognize."

"Something you didn't recognize?" The incredulous look on her face matched by the confusion in her voice. "That doesn't seem possible. You and Yeul are part of the chaos now, through and through. There shouldn't be anything that escapes your notice. There has to be some other explanation."

"Perhaps it was something we did not know existed."

Snow still looked hostile, but not as openly as he had a few moments ago. "Guess we'll find out when we find out, right?" he said. "Anyway, it doesn't matter now. I'm back here, alive, and human. Can't argue with that. I need to go out and be the Patron again." The dappled sunlight scattered through his hair when he turned his head toward the window. "Been a long time since I saw the sun."

"The captain will be glad to see you're alright," Lightning said.

The patron did not move. "Talking about Cora, right?"

"Yeah." Her brow knitted. "How did–"

"You notice things even when you're shut up in the dark." He did not look at her.

Caius thought of the Yeul of War, gazing at him with determined eyes full of feeling and remembering her final moments before passing and the way she cursed fate for taking her away from him. He wondered, too, how Cora would take knowing that, like that Yeul, her feelings would go unrequited. She would probably handle it better, but no doubt she would carry the sting of it into the new world, at least for a time.

"So," the warrioress said after a time, "what will you do now?"

Snow placed his hands on his hips, still facing the window, still gazing out at the sun. "I'll live for Serah's return. I won't give up this time, I promise." His head bowed. "I would say to keep an eye on Caius, but... you don't seem to be having much of a problem with him. It's weird." Blond hair shifted, revealing brownish hues beneath the upper layers, when he turned his head. "I knew him as a monster, but it looks like that isn't the case."

Lightning moved away now, closer to Caius. "It's not."

"Then, I won't interfere. I'll trust you, Light." He turned back to the window. "Have you seen Hope lately?"

"Yes," she said. "He's up in the Ark, with me. He's safe."

Snow nodded. "Good. Tell him I said hi, and tell him not to work himself to death before we meet again."

There was a long pause before Lightning nodded and began to leave the room.

"An imposter wouldn't have known what to do with a trinket like that. They wouldn't have known to use it to break the seal on the room, or what it could possibly mean to me." Though he stood a good distance away now, his voice carried easily to them. "I'm sure now, you're the real deal. Thank you."

Lightning half-smiled. "Of course."

As they left the room, Snow said to himself, just loudly enough to be heard, "So... what to do about that window..."

* * *

Lightning strode out into the sunshine of the courtyard and welcomed the sweet, heady scent of the blooms that filled the gardens. The courtyard was enormous, a narrow stretch linking the front gate to the main entrance that then expanded out into a well-kept garden, as bright and colorful as the Sunleth Waterscape in the glory days. Though she knew it best to leave and return to her duties, she found herself drawn instead to the colors and scents, fascinated at the contrast of the bright gardens with Snow's just-ended gloom.

Caius said nothing and made no attempt to dissuade her, following in silence as she wandered across the worn stone to a willow-like tree heavy with soft pink flowers. Their scent was mesmerizing, as sweet as honey yet as soft as dewy grass; she was standing beside it before she really understood what was happening, raising a hand to take one of the long fronds and slide her fingers down it.

When she glanced at her companion, his eyes had wandered away, actively taking in the scenery. He was still paying attention, of course, but at least he wasn't concerned for their safety.

"This feels nice," she murmured, and wished she could feel the flowers with her bare fingers.

There was a pause, then, "Are you alright?"

"Mmm..." Her hand stopped partway down one of the fronds before she released it. The frond quickly returned to its original position, heavy with blossoms. "I, ah... I'm still feeling..." She looked away from the willow to see more bushes and green shoots springing out of patches of rich soil. "I guess... overwhelmed."

"What is it that ails you so?"

Lightning took note of the softness of his voice as she turned her eyes to meet his, searching them. They were as vast as the cosmos, hollow as the Void, and she could not read the emotion that flickered in the shade. "What happened to Snow... I wish I knew how he'd come back." Turning slowly, she made her way over to a bush a short distance away, thick with white flowers streaked with sunset hues. "And then there's other things, like Dajh, and the whole thing about Vanille and the people in the chaos, and the clavis. I mean, I still can't believe it's all true. I'm hoping it isn't, but I just..."

"Lightning," Caius said, "what are you talking about?"

She clenched one hand into a fist and stared at the center of a flower. A butterfly, very small with jeweled wings, fluttered past, too busy to notice her. "Hope told me that... Bhunivelze, he– he _wanted_ those people to die and for us to forget about them. He didn't want them going to the new world. And then, well..." She reached out a hand to cradle the flower. "You know those times when I appear, but I'm out cold?"

"Yes, several times," he said.

"Lumina intercepts me when I come down from the Ark. She said that she's pulling me into my own heart, the only place Bhunivelze and Hope can't _hear_ us. She told me not to trust Hope, and now I'm wondering if..." For a moment, she didn't want to finish that sentence. So long ago, she had trusted Hope with her back, trusted him to take care of the world, and now her confidence had begun to falter. Lumina had split open the foundation of her trust and her affection for the young man in the body of a boy, and with a little more impetus, the halves would move apart. "If... she's telling the _truth_. Maybe I really _can't_ trust him. I don't know." She hung her head.

Caius's chaos enveloped her as he moved closer to her; she felt him at her shoulder, closer than usual, and saw in her peripheral vision as he reached out for a flower.

"Lumina is a trickster," he said in a quiet voice, "but perhaps it would be wise not to discard her words."

Lightning rubbed her forehead. "If it's true, then I _am_ just a pawn."

The stem of the flower broke with a soft _snap_; he withdrew his hand, holding the flower cradled in his fingers. "I can't tell you what is best. That is up to you. With that being said, I know these gods. They are never fully honest, and they will manipulate and bend others as they will for their own ends. Pulse and Lindzei worked in tandem to bring about Cocoon's end. Bhunivelze slew his mother. Only Etro was truly kind."

At a loss for words, she stared at the ground.

The flower appeared in her peripheral vision, an almost comical contrast to the black, worn armor, looking like a tiny sunset frozen in place; she stared at it without comprehending for a time before raising her eyes to his. Instead of the stoicism he'd had a moment ago, he looked softer than usual. Warmer.

She took the flower from him and raised it to inhale its scent. It smelled warm and sweet, like the air as the sun sank into the earth at the end of the day.

"Sunflowers," he told her. "They always grow in direct sun."

"They _smell_ like the sun." For a moment, she rubbed her cheek against its wonderfully soft petals, enjoying the sleepy fragrance it released. "You're right." She closed her fingers gently around it. "Maybe Bhunivelze does have him trapped. If that's the case, I might be able to pull him away before it's too late." Her eyes rose to his again. "I have to try. He is my friend, always has been, and he always will be."

"Then you are obligated to save him," he said, "if he is indeed under Bhunivelze's thrall."

"And if he's not, he's probably already saved. I guess I'll find out, then I can stop worrying about him." She tucked the flower into her sling, but lingered, her hand pausing halfway out. Her fingertips curled around the edge of the red leather, squeezing slightly. "Caius, what about my sister? If Bhunivelze really _is_ out to get me or he's got something up his sleeve, and I ruin it, I could lose her."

"You will _not_ lose her. I know you will not falter at fighting him to get her back." Amusement further softened the lines of his features. "That wouldn't be like you at all."

The corner of her lips lifted slightly – no doubt he remembered her ad-lib at the end of the Ballad of the Liberator a few days past. And it had been true. She had meant every word. If Bhunivelze betrayed her, she wouldn't back down. He could send all his armies of all of space and time, rend the earth and boil the seas, extinguish every star and turn the sky into blood, and she wouldn't back down.

But then, she remembered something. "Hope told me Bhunivelze can't see the chaos. You would know – is it true that our hearts are made of chaos?"

He rested one hand on his hip with a thoughtful look, but only said, "That is indeed the case. It makes sense he would not be able to see it – the gods have no hearts of their own."

Unease and doubt slithered through her; her fingers flexed. "So, our hearts let us see the chaos?"

"From what I understand, yes. Without them, the chaos does not exist."

"And what, then, exactly, _is_ the heart?"

The thoughtful look deepened; a twinge of concern entered his eyes. "It is the essence of our individuality. Heart, soul, and body make up each individual. Without a soul to anchor it, a heart simply becomes part of the chaos. Without a heart to quantify it, a soul is formless in this world. And without a body, neither have any ability to exist here at all." He tipped his head. "Is something on your mind?"

There was a long pause. Her eyes never left his. "I have a doubt."

His expression tightened. "Be careful, Lightning. If you confront Bhunivelze about this, be warned that he is the most powerful of these... gods." He spoke the word with a noticeable edge this time. "Though he may have plucked you out of stasis to do his bidding, he can just as easily throw you aside."

"If he was going to do that, he would've already."

Caius shook his head before she had finished speaking. "Not so. He merely had a perfect bargaining chip by hinging your sister's life on whether you would help him."

Something clicked in the back of her mind as he spoke; her mouth fell open slightly. The terrible thought sprung out of the collected doubts in her sliver of a heart, consuming her mind. For a few heartbeats, all she could do was stare at him. Suddenly, the doubts formed with perfect clarity, and she prayed they weren't true. Bhunivelze _had_ to be a benevolent creature, despite his offer of an exchange. And if he wasn't–

She looked up at the sky, now very blue except for a bright golden spot around the sun. Closing her eyes, she let the sensations of her surroundings – bright colors, exquisite smells, the warmth of the sun, the sound of birds in the distance, the faint bustle of the city – sink through to her bones. It distracted her from her thoughts and yanked her out of the shadows in her mind for the moment as she resolved to cage the little sprout, for now. She would indeed go to see Hope. She would confront him, and she would demand answers.

And Hope would either give them to her, clear as crystal, or her doubts would only be confirmed.

She would need to be _very_ sure before she spoke.

Caius was quiet for a long time. His chaotic heart was still tied in a knot, but for now, it felt calmer than usual. It was a comfortable quiet, nothing like the silence that preceded his attacks in Valhalla, or the silence of a man crippled by the pain of what he witnessed. He was simply _quiet_, and pleasantly so.

When he spoke, his voice was calm, smooth, and only just loud enough for her to hear clearly. "Are you ready?"

She opened her eyes to the blazing sky. "I am."

"Are you certain?" he said.

Turning her gaze to his, she said, "I... I think so." Not liking her uneven tone, she cleared her throat, trying again. "I think I can manage. When I get back to the Ark, I'll talk to Hope. If anyone can clear up my worries about all this, he's the one to do it." Her lungs filled with fresh air; she let it out slowly. "

In the golden sunlight, his hair shimmered, as though strands of gold had been woven into his dark hair. The sun caught the beads and adornments that had been woven into his hair long ago, and they glinted dully. The shadows did not fall across his face quite so readily in this sunny courtyard. And the way he looked at her made her falter, eyes drifting from his again, uncertain what to make of what she saw.

"Let's see if we can get to Cardesia and figure out what's going on with _her_ mystery," she said. "Maybe I can find out where Odin's been off to this whole time. I hope he's okay."

They exited the courtyard, getting a curious stare from the gate guard; the gorgon at his side sniffed the air, but did not otherwise move. Lightning scanned the plaza for Cora and her guards, but saw none of them. They had likely either left, or perhaps they were hidden from view for the moment. Either way, she decided not to try searching and looked over at the gate guard instead.

"Snow is alright," she said. The man's eyes widened. "He's no longer a Cie'th. Please let Cora and the other captains know about this." As he opened his mouth to speak, she turned away and continued on across the plaza.

* * *

_So, finally, a resolution to Snow's Cie'th situation... but there are still lingering mysteries and effects that will be explored more and more as the story goes on, diverging ever farther from canon. I'm currently replaying "Lightning Returns" right now, after having played the first two games back-to-back, beginning to end, so I would expect the next chapter and upcoming chapters to come ever faster. In fact, I fully expect to be back to my once-a-week updates, since the next chapters have been planned and worked on for... well, actually, many, many, MANY months!_

_Thanks to everyone who reviews, with particular mention to "i" and "Myahle" for leaving me such detailed and well-balanced comments. I always look forward to getting your reviews (and everyone else's of course!). Thank you so much!_


	29. Atonement

_**28 Atonement**_

In the morning of the wilderness, the air smelled sweet and the sun seemed particularly bright and welcoming. The shadows were soft, dappled patterns scattered across just-opening carpets of wildflowers interspersed with clumps of grass and great swaths of sweet-smelling, thick, soft mosses. Luminescent flowers and lichen that gave their colors to the night were dark now, all grays and pale greens, not at all betraying their truths.

It was enough to keep Lightning from worrying too much about her feathered companion, but she still did – where could he have gone, she wondered, or what could have happened to him? Had he gone and gotten himself hurt once again? Had he been swallowed up by the chaos?

Caius was silent behind her, having not spoken a word since Yusnaan's courtyard, following as she walked the trails into the Jagd Woods and the village near its heart.

Cardesia stood beneath the awning of her apothecary, busily grinding a rainbow assortment of herbs into a paste she mixed with water at regular intervals, too intent to notice the pair approach. The air smelled like wildflowers and natural medicines, sweet and thick. As Lightning stopped a short distance away, Cardesia swept her bangs out of her eyes, coughed into her elbow, and kept on working.

Lightning said, "Cardesia? Do you have a moment?"

"Mmm?" The woman looked up, not at all startled, and smiled at her. "Oh, hello there. Of course I do, just give me one minute to finish this up here..."

Caius moved to stand beside her, out of the path that circled the village, and looked up into the branches overhead while Lightning waited patiently for the other woman to finish her work. Eventually, Cardesia set the bowl of paste over a small fire and turned to her, brushing her hands off on a nearby towel.

Before she could speak, Lightning dug the ingredients out of her sling, careful not to disturb the flower Caius had given her, and handed them over to the brunette. Cardesia's eyes widened slightly; she took the ingredients as though they were made of sugar glass, her hands delicate on the little bundles.

"Oh, you _brought_ them," she murmured. She laid the bundles out and slowly unwrapped them. Her expression began to crumble. "Oh, thank you so much. I need to make this up, right away. Must be extra careful with these, you know, they're too important." Her eyes met Lightning's. "It will lose its potency within an hour of me making it. Do you think you can take it to Taleb? It will break the curse that's befallen him."

"Curse?" Lightning stared at her as she began working right then. "I thought he was sick."

"He... he isn't. Just as I'm not." Every movement deft and calculated, Cardesia peeled off husks around herbs and carefully sliced them up. "Taleb and I knew each other a long time ago. Like I said before, we grew up together, and we called ourselves the Three Musketeers. We were inseparable." For a moment, her movements slowed; she shook her head and cleared her throat. "Truly, truly inseparable."

"One and one make two, not three." Lightning frowned. "Who was the third?"

For a long time, the brunette was silent. Lightning said nothing, did nothing, did not push her to respond, and just watched her continue her work. Only after she had begun mixing up the herbs, using a pestle to turn them into a fine powder she mixed with a paste made from mushrooms plucked from the woods, did she speak again.

"A boy who would become my best friend, the one I fell in love with." She looked up and smiled softly. "We were going to spend the rest of our lives together. What I didn't know was that Taleb also cared for me, and he became jealous when he found out."

A sinking feeling in her gut told her the result. "And killed him."

"In a fit of jealous rage, or maybe grief, not that it matters anymore. Murdered him. Death by strangulation, as I recall." The smile weakened a little. "Soon after, both Taleb and I fell very ill, like from a curse. From what those in Poltae have said, it may have been from the chaos. It wasn't that long afterward before the chaos came and the world began to decay." As she took a breath, she suddenly began coughing again, having to turn away and bend over at the waist. Lightning came to her side, but knew it to be pointless even before she moved. There was nothing anyone could do for this woman anymore.

Cardesia finally straightened again, and Lightning spotted a bit of pink at the corner of her lips before she hurriedly wiped it away with the back of her hand.

"He's been expecting me to poison him all these years and enact some sort of revenge, something conjured up in his head, no doubt." She went back to work, looking sidelong at Lightning. "You look confused."

"Well... I am, yeah." Lightning glanced at Caius, but his expression was dark; she shivered and looked away. "I mean, you _could_ exact revenge for your lover's murder. No doubt you loved him very much, and if Taleb's expecting you to kill him, maybe that's because you were going to."

Her gray eyes were soft. "Once upon a time, as a fool, yes. I would feed him a poison that would kill him slowly and painfully. Count on an apothecary to know exactly how, right?" Raising one hand, she tapped her fingertip against her chin. "But it's been hundreds of years. I got sick before I could do it, and since then, I began to think. I realized that killing him would change nothing, and it'd leave me hollow. So I just..." Lowering the hand, she glanced at Caius, then back at Lightning. "...forgave him, instead."

The warrioress wasn't sure how to respond to that, not really able to understand how this woman, whose love had been murdered in cold blood by a man who was now dying not very far away, could possibly forgive him of such a horrible crime. There were few things more awful than murder. How could Cardesia do it? _How_ was she able to reach out a hand of kindness instead of vengeance?

"But I don't... understand. You _loved_ him." Lightning waved a hand, aimless, not sure what to say, what to think, or even what to do. "It may have been centuries ago, but the pain has to still be there."

"Oh, yes, it still hurts a little, knowing I won't ever seen him again." She bowed her head, but only briefly. "But it hurts a lot less than it did because I let go of my hatred and bitterness over what Taleb did. By releasing that burden, I got my life back, and now I'm going to give Taleb back his."

"But..." Lightning deflated. She didn't know what else to say.

"He probably won't understand it." Cardesia worked a few moments in silence. "He'll have to live knowing he's forgiven. Believe me, it's a tough burden to bear. He hates himself for what he did. I don't think he's ever forgiven _himself_, actually. He's shut himself up in that village, joining the Children of Etro and trying to atone for what he did, but he never forgave himself. If I forgive him, and he finds out, he'll probably go mad before he gets right again." She chuckled. "I wish I could tell him myself. Instead, I'll do it by proxy. Give me a few more minutes here and I'll have it all finished up for you to take to him."

Stunned, Lightning turned her back, staring without seeing. Long ago, she had forgiven Snow for taking Serah away, for being the relentless and obnoxious optimist he had always been, for being the type of person she just couldn't stand and being unable to deal with that knowledge. Yet she had not forgiven herself, not yet, for not believing her dear sister when she'd shown her brand and expressed her desire to stay with Snow in marriage.

She didn't understand, at the time, that Serah had not wanted her sister to be her foundation of strength, but Snow, the one whom her heart and soul so adored.

As a woman who had never been in love, and didn't plan to ever be, she still didn't fully understand it. Yeul was right. It wasn't something she _could_ understand.

As she didn't understand this idea of forgiving such a horrible thing as _murder_.

When she looked around for her companion, Caius had disappeared, but she could sense the fringes of his chaos brushing her heart – he was close, but out of sight, though he could probably still see her, as she doubted he would leave her alone for long or go very far.

"All done!" Cardesia sounded cheerful; Lightning turned to see her triumphantly wiping off her hands and smiling wide. "Once I seal it up, you'll need to get it to Taleb as soon as possible. Too late, and it'll lose its effectiveness. I don't want to make you get more..." She coughed and cleared her throat. "Well, make you run all over to get those ingredients again. If you would please?"

Lightning stared at Cardesia's hands as she filled a vial with a bluish liquid containing flecks of black and capped it with a stopper that fit tightly. She took the vial in her own hands, the glass cool even through her gloves, and held it up to the light to inspect its many facets of color and shifting light patterns.

Then the woman said, very softly, "You don't know what this means to me, Lightning. If he goes to the new world with the rest of us, I will find him again and tell him myself. I might die before the end comes, but... just _knowing_ the past is behind us is... it's enough." Her smile was wide, soft, and real.

Lightning looked into her eyes and realized the forgiveness was not faked. These were not just words. They were feelings made into words that came straight from the heart, from the _soul_, and they clung to the vial like an aura she could actually feel against her skin.

"Cardesia, I..." She squeezed the vial between her fingers. "I wish I had your strength."

"Oh, it's not a question of strength." Tipping her head, she cleared her throat and ran her fingers through her hair. "It's more a question of when you want to stop hurting, you know? When do you want to stop having whatever-it-is gnaw away at your soul? That's the _real_ question."

Lightning stared at the vial. "Alright."

"Now, go and get that to him. Time's wasting." She chuckled. "Meanwhile, I'm going to keep working here, but as a doctor for our chocobos." A rustle of grass came to her; she looked up to see Cardesia turn her back and go back to work on the paste over the fire.

Lightning turned away and tucked the vial into her sling, pointing her feet in the direction of Poltae. As she began to walk, she heard a crackle of static in her ear. "I caught most of that," Hope said, his voice coming through with a bit of static, but mostly clear. "So, Cardesia is giving a potion to Taleb, the man who murdered her lover, as an act of true forgiveness. I wish I could've been so forgiving of Snow, when my mother died. Though, of course, that hadn't really been his fault, though I couldn't accept it at the time."

"I guess I don't quite get it," she murmured, glancing back at Cardesia as she walked.

There was a long pause. "I do. Refusing to forgive Snow had been an enormous burden. It weighed me down and turned me into a monster. Only when I released that pain and let him be forgiven was I really able to be free again, and in turn, him. It really _is_ a relief, Light, like she said it was."

"Well, I don't have any murders to forgive," she muttered as she walked.

Hope sounded hesitant when he said, "But... you _do_, Light. I'm not saying that you _should_, but Caius is responsible for your sister's death, as well as so many others, and the suffering of the world."

Lightning looked at the grass as she walked across it. "Hope, what he did was _horrible_, orders of magnitude worse than anything Taleb did. He didn't just kill a single lover, but probably thousands. He ruined a lot of lives and took my sister away. That isn't something that's so easily forgiven."

"I understand." Hope sighed. "Maybe once you're in the new world and everything's okay, or in fifty years, you will be able to. Maybe you'll have your heart back then."

"Yeah, maybe, or I might not ever be able to. Let's just drop it, okay?"

"Alright, sorry. Didn't mean to reopen wounds or anything." There was a pause. "Anyway, I noticed you don't have Odin with you anymore. I've been tracking across the whole area, but I haven't found him anywhere. If he is in the area, he doesn't seem to be in a form my sensors can pick up."

Her blood chilled. "I hope he didn't fall back into the chaos. I couldn't bear it."

"I understand. Odin was always your most faithful companion. He kept you safe when you needed it in Valhalla, isn't that right? And he followed you wherever you went during our journey to save Cocoon." He chuckled quietly. "Just like Alexander did for me. I wonder what all happened to our Eidolons. If Odin was able to manifest without Etro, maybe the others can, too."

"That would be good. There might come a time when we need their help again." She heard static come into the line and hoped it wasn't a chaos beast manifesting nearby. "I'm starting to get noise on the line. Keep in touch when you can, but I'll probably drop out again for a while."

"Because Caius is nearby, no doubt. It's amazing a human being can carry around that much chaos, and even more so that it isn't hurting you at all." There was a pause; the noise increased slightly. "Look, I'll reiterate that I don't like him being so close to you all the time, but... if he really _is_ keeping you safe, then I'll trust him to."

She blinked. "You mean, in your stead?"

"Well, sort of. I mean, I can't exactly watch you when he's nearby, so I have to trust both of you – you, to not get hurt when I can't watch out for you, and him, to keep you safe."

"Wait..." She stopped. "What?"

"Light, I know what I said before, but when I'm up here alone, I get a lot of time to think. My instruments do most of the work, which frees up my mind. I've come to realize that, even if I don't like him and haven't forgotten what he did to us, the fact is that I already tried to change your mind about him and failed. You _know_ I trust you, Light. I know you'll do what's best regarding him and the world. Just be careful."

As she stared into the distance, absorbing his words, she realized the fringes of her companion's chaos had become stronger, and there was enough static on the line to be distracting. "I will. Let me know if you find Odin anywhere. I'm getting worried." She continued forward, Hope's reply mostly drowned out by static.

Caius fell in step behind her as she passed him leaning against the cliff. The glimpse she got of his expression was one as cold and unreadable as the stone towering over her.

"Where did _you_ run off to?" she muttered, not intending to sound accusatory, but it came out that way.

"I needed to think," was his too-curt reply.

Lightning knew better than to pursue the matter when he spoke like _that_, so she kept walking without slowing. As before, the rocky chasm that split the earth was deadly silent, though she caught a glimpse of monkey-like creatures squabbling over something in the distance while an individual creature looked on while tugging idly on its tail. None of them paid the pair any heed.

As they reached Poltae, Lightning went straight to the clinic, shouldering her way through the nurses that stood near the door, and over to Taleb's side. He lay pale-faced on the cot, eyes squeezed shut, squirming, muttering something under his breath. Overall, he looked worse than the last time – in a few short days, he had degraded even further.

"Taleb? Hey, I brought something from Cardesia for you."

Instantly, the man's eyes flew open. They focused on her. "Cardesia, you said? At last! I can _finally_ be free of this existence, this _trap_ of a body." Though his words were strong, his voice was weak; he reached out with one hand, but his fingers were unsteady. Lightning took the vial out and pulled the stopper. The scent was sweet and mild with a tinge of something that reminded her of wet earth.

"Here," she said, and held it out to him. "This will make it better."

"At last," he muttered, and made another attempt to grab the vial. This time, he managed to do it, craning his neck to turn his head up. "I finally get to _leave_ this place." Without wasting another second, he tipped the entire thing back and drained it in one gulp, swallowing it eagerly.

Lightning gaped at him a moment. Was he so eager to die that there was no hesitation? He'd had many long centuries to consider it, and yet he had still decided that death was to be his final atonement for his crimes.

She waited to see what would happen, too curious to leave.

The vial clattered to the ground; Taleb made a face, looking relieved yet oddly desperate, as though silently pleading for the potion – or the poison, as he expected – to take effect. For a minute or so, he lay panting, making a soft sound in his throat as though gagging, fingers curling and uncurling. A look of confusion overcame him; frowning, he laid his fingers on his throat, then on his chest. The color came back into his skin.

"Wh..." Taleb slowly sat up, the hood of his robes falling away from his face. He was handsome, she saw, the sort of face she could imagine someone would love from afar. "Why... why am I still alive?" Looking at her with sea-blue eyes, his tone became one of accusation. "What did you give me? Did Cardesia not mix up a poison that would end both of our suffering? What happened? Why aren't I _dead_?"

Lightning breathed deep. "She cured you, Taleb. Forgave you."

Taleb's mouth fell open; the hand on his chest gripped the robes, fingers digging into the fabric until it gathered into folds. His breath still came rapidly, but not as shallow as it had just minutes before. While his skin still looked a little pale, the color had mostly returned to it, and his eyes were clear.

"How could she?" When he spoke, his voice was very small. "Look at what I did. I _know_ she told you. I killed the love of her life because I got _jealous_. She told me she would end it. Why didn't she? Why forgive me? What have _I_ done to be forgiven?" His demands had gotten louder, the small space making them seem even more so; she gave him a glare, and he shrank back from it.

"Cardesia chose to forgive you. I don't understand it myself, but she did. Maybe you do deserve death, or you were just trying to run away. It doesn't matter now."

For a very long time, he was silent, staring at the ground, though his eyes flitted back up to hers several times. "Or maybe it's a very slow-acting poison," he muttered, though he didn't sound at all convinced. "But then, I wouldn't be able to sit up, would I? Why would she _do_ that?" Leaning forward, he buried his face in both hands. "Now I'll have to face her in the new world and look her in the eye _knowing_ I don't deserve to live."

"Now, Taleb," said a voice behind her; she turned her head to see the old nurse from before walking forward and prodding his shoulder, encouraging him to lean back again. "You can't make that judgment. Everyone deserves a second chance, and no one is too broken that they're beyond salvation. Not even _you_." When he still refused to sit back, she grabbed both shoulders and forced him. He grunted, but didn't fight it. "Now, lay back down and gather up your strength. You'll be back to work in no time."

"Back groveling at everyone's feet, you mean, begging for atonement." Looking rather like a child, he crossed his arms tight to his chest and glared at the ceiling. "It would've been _better_–"

"That's enough out of you." The nurse spoke very firmly now. "_Lay down_ and get your rest. The world will end soon enough, and you'll be able to face up to Cardesia in the new one, I'm sure. Then you can work it all out, if there's anything more _to_ work out. Now hush up and lie still."

Lightning moved away, leaving the nurses to their work, and looked around, but Caius was nowhere to be found in the dim interior of the clinic. Only when she moved back outside, into a flood of golden sunlight, did she find him, standing out in the open and staring into the distance. Following his gaze, she found that he was staring at the broken spires of Etro's ruined temple. Though they were gray and dull, they still glimmered in the sunlight – it seemed some of their original beauty was still intact, even now.

The dirt and gravel crunched underfoot as she approached to stand at his side. He did not acknowledge her, though he knew she was there. "You wanna go back there?" she said.

He hesitated before looking at her., but turned away too soon for her liking, and she felt an unexpected twinge of some unknown feeling when he did. The fringes of his unease brushed across her heart; she brought both hands in front of her to fiddle with each other, trying to distract herself. "I need to stay longer when next you leave."

A frown creased her brow. "I thought you _did_ spend a long time there."

The worn armor creaked quietly as he took a deep breath and let it out in near silence before speaking. "You are gone for only a few minutes when you leave, and when you return, I am right back with you. I actually spend very little time in that temple anymore." He looked sidelong at her, eyes thick with feeling, though the stoicism that had turned his features to stone was at complete odds with both them and the uncertain tone of his voice.

"So you... prefer to be out here?" she ventured quietly.

His eyes remained on hers. "Yes."

Lightning didn't know what to say to that and looked over at the broken spires again. So many battles had been fought there during their long war. How strange was it that she stood now at his side, without concern for what he might do, in the place where the beach had once existed.

"Well, good, then," she said. "That is exactly what's supposed to happen, you know." Her gaze drifted back to his; he met it at the same moment. "Now that we're done here, let's go back to the desert for a while."

The breeze stirred his hair. "And after that?"

"And then, I don't know." She shrugged. "I have to burn some hours before I get back to the Ark. Then I can talk to Hope and we can try to get all this straightened out." She looked down at one hand, watching the fabric shimmer in the sunlight as she curled and uncurled her fingers. "Ruffian would be the best place to go next. Maybe Fang has something we can do out there, and I want to see how Vanille's doing."

When her companion said nothing, she took it as an acknowledgment and used some of her strength to travel into the Historia Crux, flooded with chaos, the matrix of what was left of time and space, and carry herself swiftly to the burning sands of Ruffian.

* * *

After the solemnity of the grand cathedral, Vanille found Ruffian's rowdiness to be a pleasant change akin to going back to her village on Gran Pulse before the war. During the night hours, people got loud at the bar and went digging for treasures swallowed up by the dunes, had the most unbelievably random dance contests in the front lobby, and went out to the oasis to poke around in its precious waters for even more treasures. Fang assured her this was all completely normal; Vanille absolutely reveled in it.

And it was even better now that she was out of those ridiculous robes. She wore instead a top that bared her midriff and protected her shoulders, made of red cotton edged in gold embroidery and held in place with leather strips and silver clasps. Over a pair of small shorts in case of any incidents was a skirt that went to mid-thigh made of soft brown leather covered in gray fur that felt soft to the touch. Coupled with brown sandles and an assortment of beaded jewelry handmade by Ruffian locals – or plundered from the ruins, judging by some of the more archaic styles – she almost felt like her old self again. _Almost_.

After spending an hour or two amongst the ridiculousness, she had gone to bed feeling pleasantly exhausted and woken up after sunrise much refreshed. Fang was nowhere to be found in the main lobby, so Vanille suspected she was probably resting in her makeshift office.

Ruffian was quiet in the morning. The stone had dissipated all heat, and now her surroundings were cool, the shadows deep but welcoming rather than frightening. She saw no one she knew here and not many people overall, except for a bandit busy in the corner with a broom, trying to sweep around a rock that stuck out of the ground. She wandered into the bar, following the warm scents of breakfast and lulled by the low hum of the fans that stirred the air. Unlike the glass-shattering and shot contests of the previous night, the bar was almost completely silent except for the bartender humming to himself as he cleaned the counter.

Looking around, she finally spotted someone familiar – Noel, half-sprawled out on a table, his clothing changed into something light and airy that would protect him from the boiling sun, his back to her, arms splayed out. His hair had been trimmed, his skin scrubbed of years of city-grime, and he almost looked... normal.

She walked over to him and bent low. She smelled no alcohol – it seemed he had decided to put his head down and ended up falling asleep instead.

"Noel?" Taking his shoulder, she shook it gently. "Wake up." Though he stirred, it was only to curl up tighter and groan softly. She bent down to his ear. "Hey, Noel! Wake up!"

"Buh?" Nearly cracking her in the jaw, he suddenly sat straight up, but the movement upset his balance on the chair and caused it to scoot aside. He caught himself halfway through the act of falling by bracing himself between the chair back and the table, stopping with one foot having shot aside. After the initial panicked confusion wore off, he looked up at her and said, "Uh, Vanille? That you?"

Managing a small smile, she said, "Yep, it's me. How are you feeling?"

"Uh..." Noel groggily closed his eyes and shook his head. Pulling himself back onto the chair with one hand, he used the other to rub at his eyes. "I think I'm okay. Uh, what happened?"

"You tell me, I found you here."

"Here?" Voice cracking as he said the word, he looked quickly around, becoming more awake. "I don't remember falling asleep. One minute I was listening to some guys throw back some shots behind me–" Here, he gestured with one hand to his right. "–and the next, you're wakin' me up." Pause. "From a nice dream, too."

"Is that so?" She rested a hand on her hip. "What about?"

Only when his gaze wavered, then fell to the ground, did she realize it may have been best not to ask. "I think I was dreaming about Yeul," he whispered, and that was all he said – and all he needed to say – about that. The next thing out of his mouth, to her amusement, was an uneasy query. "I don't think I got drunk, did I? Though that might explain the weird dreams. I mean, it wasn't just Yeul..."

"Oh?" She tipped her head. "And what else was in there, Noel Kreiss?"

"Oh, things." He waved his hands and nearly slid off the chair again. This finally give him a hint. "Well, guess I'll rest either in the grave or in the new world. No time for restin' now." Rising, he stretched his arms, the threads of his tunic and pants shimmering dully in the dim morning light. It was the garb of a bandit, it seemed, though modified to fit Noel's unique, outdoorsy style – bands of leather bearing random doodles of embroidery closing the fabric around his arms, a leather belt studded with beads around his hips, loose pants tucked into brown boots cut to let the air pass across the skin freely. The ensemble was effective and practical, perfectly suited to someone line him. "I'm glad you're okay," he said after a moment, and smiled.

Vanille folded her arms and watched him stretch a bit longer before looking all around the room. Unlike the cathedral, she did not feel the constant weight of chaos here or the voices of those trapped inside. While she could smell it, faint and acrid in her nostrils, it didn't feel at all oppressive. The world was _drenched_ in chaos, but she was happy to find that it hardly mattered to her while she was here.

Her sandals made soft tapping sounds on the bare bedrock that made up the floor of the bar as she walked to the opening to look at the sky. Oh, how she had missed the sky.

The scent of a powerful chaos emission came to her nostrils; she turned her head toward it. In the distance, she saw two figures, one distinctly feminine and the other tall and masculine, making their way across the burning sands. In an instant, she knew who they were – the Liberator and Destroyer – and smiled a little, hurrying across the loose sands to meet them when they entered the main atrium.

She knew that Caius and Lightning had warred on the shores of Valhalla five centuries ago, caught in the throes of a war that ended only when she fell into crystal stasis. Back then, she had feared Caius, like so many others, having heard his name and knowing of his exploits throughout history, knew him as a powerful warrior who could rend the earth and level mountains with a thought. To see him walking alongside the woman who would guide them to the new world, cloaking her in the fringes of his darkness, was strange.

Lightning's expression betrayed preoccupation, though she seemed to be making an effort to hide it. Caius had no expression at all, except his apparently default one of absolute focus.

"Hey, Lightning!" she called out; the woman's eyes suddenly jumped to hers as the preoccupied look slithered away.

"Vanille," she said, and smiled slightly. "Good to see you."

She hurried forward, examining her comrade's face. Though it still seemed a little hollow, she no longer felt as though she gazed into the face of a doll. Had something changed in her journey to bring that part of her back, or had it been some trick of the chaos? Or perhaps it had been her own imagination, her own disconnection from reality, that had summoned such thoughts.

"You're well?" Lightning continued, looking her up and down.

"Oh, yes, yes, don't worry about me." Smiling wider, she reached out and shyly patted Lightning's shoulder. Her eyes flitted to Caius, but he only gazed back without any change in expression. She refocused on Lightning. "How is everything? Did you make any major breakthroughs?"

Lightning's blue eyes were serious as the slight smile faded away. "I had to go save Snow, as you know. Thing is, what I didn't tell anyone was..." She looked down at her hand as she raised it and curled the fingers tightly into a fist. "He... had turned into a Cie'th, and now he's miraculously a man again."

Vanille stared at her in silence, absorbing her words. She didn't have to voice her thoughts – Lightning had become a Cie'th with the others in Orphan's Cradle, and only the intervention of Etro had saved them from their fates. But with Etro gone, who or what, then, had saved Snow?

"I don't know what did it." The rosehaired woman spoke as if responding to her thoughts. "Caius says he felt a power he didn't recognize, but that's our only hint."

"Another mystery, huh?" Vanille folded her hands and tipped her head. "Snow was saved, but by what?"

"And whatever it is, I wish it'd help us," she muttered.

"Maybe it can't for some reason," Vanille said. "Reversing Snow's fate might be the most it can do for now."

"I wonder if he's right." Lightning's brow furrowed. "I wonder if it _was_ Serah."

Caius shifted his weight, but still said nothing. Vanille couldn't help looking in his direction, finding the weight of his chaos and his silent, intimidating presence somewhat distressing. Obviously, if he was still at Lightning's side, then she had found no reason to send him away, so he was hardly a threat, but though her mind knew better, her heart beat a little faster, unease prickling across her skin.

"Well, I guess we'll find out." She offered another small smile. "Anyway, it's good to see you. Sazh is around here somewhere, and Fang's off resting, no doubt. Still sleeping off her pain." She rested her hands on her hips. "Noel is here, over in the bar, if you want to see him, though."

"I would," she said, and nodded. "Would you lead the way to him, please?"

Vanille smiled and returned to the bar, where Noel stood beside the table and stared outside. At their approach, he looked at Lightning with warmth in his eyes, but they chilled the instant he saw Caius. Vanille said nothing as she came forward, and neither did the dark warrior at her heels. The knot of chaos that Caius carried with him felt as though it had tightened, but she could sense little else.

"Lightning," he said. "I'm glad to see you were able to get Vanille out of the cathedral."

"Don't thank me too much," she said. "Sazh was the one who convinced her. Caius destroyed the clavis, so there's no chance they'll be able to use it again, or even try to."

"I'll still have to help those poor people trapped in there," she murmured, "but there'll have to be another way."

Noel frowned. "You defied Bhunivelze's wishes?"

Lightning snorted. "That ritual was intended to destroy everyone inside the chaos so that we wouldn't remember them or care about them. _Everyone_, including Dajh and..." Dread crept across her features for a moment. "...and that might have included Serah, even."

"He promised to give her back, didn't he?" the younger man said. "Why would he let her be destroyed?"

Lightning said nothing.

"And you've still got him with you." Noel looked at Caius directly now. "I would have thought you'd release him by now, but here he is, still at your side. Is there some reason you keep parading him around?" His voice sharpened suddenly, and his eyes narrowed. "It's not enough knowing what he did and being able to keep it in the back of my mind. Now you have to drag him everywhere with you as a constant reminder?"

Lightning looked him in the eye. "You were fine when we went into the ruins. Did something change your mind?"

"I had something to occupy it," he growled at her.

Vanille watched out of the corner of her eye as the subject of the conversation visibly shrunk back from the trio, as though attempting to become little more than a shadow.

"Noel, you've made your thoughts clear enough before, and I thought you were past them. What triggered this?"

He looked away from her. "I had a dream."

Lightning frowned and looked down at the floor a moment, then said, "About Yeul?"

When his deep blue eyes shot back to hers, Vanille took an uncertain half-step back, fully expecting him to pounce or lash out in response, but instead his gaze turned hollow, and he huffed before striding out. Lightning pursued him, and Vanille turned to do the same, but hesitated when she saw that Caius had not moved to follow.

"Um..." She looked at him. "Are you coming along? You stay with her, right?"

His eyes were cold. "I am the last thing he needs right now."

Swallowing and trying to calm her trembling heart, she hurried after Lightning. A short distance from the entrance to the bar, she had caught up with him, apparently headed aimlessly into the deep desert, and now Noel found fit to respond to her mostly by nearly shouting.

"–and I had to deal with it for _five centuries_. _Every_ time I see him, I can't help remembering Serah limp in my arms, or seeing Etro's seal break open the sky and the world come crashing down. You don't know what it's like! While you slept the years away, the rest of us had to suffer!"

"Is that why you tried to go to the temple and Caius had to pull you out? Are you that desperate to see her?"

"You don't get it! A world without her is _none at all_!"

Vanille stopped just beyond the threshold and studied the grains between her feet.

Lightning sounded irritated when she spoke. "I keep getting told that. I can't possibly understand this kind of love because I've never experienced it myself. The pain of separation, of loss, or crippling grief. I lost Serah, but I am starting to understand it isn't the same." A deep sigh escaped her. "But if _this_ is what it means to fall in love and be forced to say goodbye, then I _never_ want to know love."

"No, it's... it's not _like_ that. It hurts, yeah, like nothing I've ever known, but it's _worth_ it."

"How?" Lightning demanded. "How, when you feel like someone ripped out your heart? How, when it grieves your soul just to think of the one whom it so adores?"

Noel groaned in exasperation. "I can't explain it to you because you've never been in love."

Lightning kicked a pebble. "I _know_ that!"

Vanille looked up sharply at her tone. She sounded both exasperated and helpless, as though something dear to her lay just beyond her grasp. All she had to compare the grief and the pain to was losing her sister, but those around her were also right. Serah was very dear to her, but she was not a lover. She was not a piece of her soul, her sun and sky and stars, infinitely and impossibly precious to her heart.

Knowing Lightning's fierceness and fiery heart, she could imagine what she would feel to be separated from a lover.

Perhaps she had been blessed to only have her sister taken.

"But that isn't all of it. I wish it was, but Yeul isn't the whole thing." When she looked up, it was in time to see Noel scuff the sand with one foot. "I grew up with Caius. He mentored me and helped shape me into what I am, even if I was trying _not_ to be like him. I _despise_ him for what he did, for how callously he destroyed our futures and ended up locking Yeul up inside that prison in the wilderness, but... that isn't all."

"It isn't?" Lightning sounded confused. "Then–"

"It's _him_, too." Now Noel's voice had gone softer, solemn. Miserable. "After everything he's done, after what he put us through and..." Taking a deep breath, he rubbed a hand across his face. Vanille moved closer to hear him better as his voice grew even softer. "I still love him. He's still like a brother to me, or even the father I barely had. I just can't _hate_ him enough to stop loving him."

Vanille moved closer, with slow, steady steps, reaching out a hand of understanding to his shoulder.

Lightning said, gently, "He needs to know that, Noel."

"No, he doesn't." Noel shook his head. "If I can help it, I never want to see him again."

"Are you saying that out of spite, or are you just so upset over Yeul that you can't think straight?" Lightning tapped the underside of his chin with her curled index finger, forcing him to look up at her. "I understand why you feel the way you do, but your soul won't ever find complete salvation unless you release that pain, you know that. You're so close right now. Don't blow this chance because of your anger."

Noel's anger flickered, a flame dancing in the wind, bowing before the words that cut to his heart, before it went dark, and he looked at the ground again. "I'm not ready," he murmured.

Vanille rubbed his shoulder. Noel made no attempt to resist her attempt to comfort him. "If it's too much right now, then face it later," she said. "I'm sure you'll get another chance."

"I'm not ready to forgive him." But he sounded much less vitriolic now.

"Neither am I, Noel, if I'm being honest. And I may not ever be." Lightning folded her arms. "But it's not about that. If you don't stop hating yourself for what happened, you won't make it to the new world. I know you don't want to go without her, but don't you think she'd tell you to live a happy life anyway?"

Noel looked to be on the verge of a breakdown; Vanille laid her other hand on his arm. "Yes. She would."

"I can't make you do anything," she murmured, "so I'll leave it up to you."

He said nothing, staring at the sand.

Lightning let the silence sit between the three of them for a good while; Vanille withdrew her hands despite her enjoyment of the earthy roughness of the fabric and looked at the other woman expectantly. "I only came to tell all of you that Snow will be fine," she said at last. "I managed to save him."

Vanille started to add that Snow had become a Cie'th, but come back, when Lightning did not speak for a time, but held her tongue. The omission had to be for a reason.

"Yeah, good." Noel sighed. "Hope you don't mind, but, uh, I kind of want to just... stay here."

"Noel," she said, "Caius is going to be with me wherever I go. You staying here, curled up in the dark and waiting for the end, isn't going to change that fact."

"I won't be 'curled up in the dark'," he muttered. "I'm _going_ to help, however I can. But it _hurts_ when I see him. It _hurts_ so much. His face haunted my nightmares, Lightning. You don't understand." But instead of lashing out at her, he only looked away into the distance, at the rolling dunes and the shimmering oasis. "You remember what he said. They won't let him die, and my Yeul is chained to the chaos as well. Even if I do see her again, it'll only be–" Then, suddenly, his gaze sharpened. "You know what, I _am_ going to see her again. I might even find a way to save her. _That_ will be my atonement for what I did."

Lightning nodded, looking pleased. "That's better. Change the future."

"Yeah, yeah, I know. But that's from those days when we all thought a little fighting and talking could save us. Oh, man, but we were fools, both of us."

The pleased look vanished. "Noel, _I_ sent the two of you out on that suicide mission. You had nothing to do with it."

He sighed. "Okay. Now _I'm _sick of the blame game."

Vanille chuckled. Lightning looked amused. "Alright. Get back inside. I have to burn daylight before I need to go back to the Ark and talk to Hope about what's going on." She patted his shoulder. "You gonna be alright?"

Noel blew through his lips. "Yeah, sure. Fine."

Vanille nudged him with an elbow. "You can do it. I believe in you."

"You barely know me," he muttered to her, but nonetheless flashed her a genuine half-smile.

Vanille stayed beside him as Lightning went back inside Ruffian, curious to know if Caius had overhead any of that, but knowing better than to go after her. Lightning would be able to deal with him, she knew, no matter how he chose to respond to it, and it was not hers to be concerned with.

_Hope_. Remembering Lightning's words, she wondered, not for the first time, how he was doing. Lightning had not really said what he was up to, and she was desperately curious, not that she knew why, or understood why... or accepted any explanations as to why.

"Something troubles your mind, my lady," Cecil had said to her once. "I recognize that look in your eyes."

Of course he did. It had been reflected in his own.

"Hey, Noel? Remember that bit about occupying your mind?" When he nodded, she smiled. "Come on. Let's go back inside and see if there's anything these rascals can set us up doing. I need something to do."

* * *

After spending many hours tracing routes through Luxerion and the Wildlands, visiting the various people who had made their homes there, all too soon the sky had begun to lighten, and the stars began to fade into the milky peach tones of the approaching dawn. It caught them when they stood on the southernmost hill, overlooking the massive moor that made up the central expanse of the wilderness. Aryas Village, a quaint little place of low-slung huts and sheep pens, bore a large clock with hands shaped out of what appeared to be ivory. Right now, it read 5:55, only minutes to spare before it was time for her to go.

Caius had been quiet most of the day, speaking only when spoken to, unwilling to relent when Lightning asked that he tell her what troubled him. Too much occupied his mind for him to trust his tongue.

"It's beautiful," she murmured beside him, robes fluttering in the wind off the moor, the chill in the air indicative of the early-morning dew that clung to shoots and leaves. She had saved many souls today, performing mundane tasks ranging from checking clocks to providing ingredients for a meal prepared here in this village, one the cook with the curious accent had called "the Nora Special" and caused Lightning to smile.

They had not found Odin, but she had managed to bottle up her growing concern to focus on her tasks.

Not sure how else to use up the remaining minutes, Caius stood in silence beside her and stared over the landscape. It was wild, beautiful, sweet with the scent of earth and life, and soon, it would be dead.

"You haven't talked much all day, you know."

He looked at her.

"Did you overhear anything Noel said in Ruffian?"

Ancient beads clicked together when he shook his head. "No. Did he speak of me?"

"Could say that," she said. "You upset him."

"Merely by existing, right?"

"Yeah. But he'll get over it eventually." She frowned, murmuring, "Come on, Odin, where _are_ you?"

"While you are resting in the Ark, I will try again to find him for you. It is not right for you to be separated from your Eidolon like this." He brought one hand up to rest on his hip, then looked sidelong at her. "Is there anything else you can think to do before you return, so you do not waste any time?"

"Oh, I'm sure there's _something_." She sighed. "But, when I go to the Ark, I don't do much else except sleep. Here, I can just look around. I _want_ to waste a few minutes and engrave this place in my memory."

"It is beautiful," he said, still looking at her.

As though sensing his gaze, she met it and raised an eyebrow. "Are you gonna talk to me?"

He felt his lips quirk at her words. "I have been, have I not?"

"I mean, tell me what's bothering you."

"Lightning," he sighed, "enough about that. Please."

Both eyebrows went up, but he saw the fervor go out of her eyes. Understanding replaced it. "Then let's talk about the plan for the remaining days. I should have collected enough eradia today to extend our time to at least another day, so by tomorrow, when next you see me, we'll be up to ten." She raised a hand, fingers splayed, and tugged on her pinkie with the other hand. "Provided everything goes well, I'll be up to thirteen in no time, and then Bhunivelze will wake up and shape a new world. We need to get those people out of the chaos, and I want to find Odin."

Caius nodded. "What will you do, then, should he not return your sister?"

"I'll fight him, and destroy him if I must." She said it with such matter-of-factness that he almost found it amusing. It was simple to her – give Serah back, or die. "It'll be easier with you around. That's assuming you're still with me."

"I swore to be, until you need me no more," he reminded her.

Her eyes searched his. "That's true."

Without meaning to, he looked over at the clock. The time was drawing near; the eastern sky had developed the pale hint of dawn. Soon, she would vanish, taken by a golden shimmer of light, and he would have to go to the temple to be with the girls who so desperately awaited his return. He did not wish to admit to his reluctance to do so, but the dark, dank halls of the ruined temple made him sick. After the end of the world, he would be left with this landscape, warped beyond recognition, to rule instead.

It would be better than the temple that still bore the scars of their war and her pain and his foolishness, and he would be glad of the day it was finally swept away.

"Caius?" she murmured, her voice nearly drowned by the wind.

He looked at her, into her eyes, wishing he could look away, while knowing that he could not. "Hmm?"

"If I somehow set off Bhunivelze, things could get rough." She tucked wayward strands of hair behind her ear. "If that happens, I need you with me. I don't think it'll come to that just yet, though, but I expected, at the end of days, if he does not do as I ask, or if my suspicions are true, I _must_ fight him."

He met her expression firmly. "You do not have to be concerned, Lightning. I shall not leave your side, even should you need to fight Bhunivelze. Only when the chaos comes will we be apart again."

She sighed. "I understand. Thank you, Caius."

"It is what I am supposed to do," he said, but dipped his chin. "But, you are welcome."

For a long time, she looked out over the moor, the wind tousling her hair and causing her robes to flare out behind her, grass rippling around her feet. Caius gazed at her, hoping she would not notice, and wished he could etch her into his memory. This powerful warrioress had faced him without fear and dared best him, over and over, making him work for the end he sought until he had despaired.

If anyone deserved to go on to the new world, it was certainly her.

Chimes noting the hour rang out; Caius felt his heart tighten when he saw the glow wreath her in golden light and wished he could think of something appropriate to say, but what was there left to tell her anymore?

There were so few days remaining. They were halfway to the end.

"Find me again when I return," she said, and then the golden glow swallowed her up.

Caius continued to stare blankly at the spot she had vacated for some time, heedless of the rising sun and fading stars, watching the imprint in the grass from her feet slowly disappear as the wind batted the blades. It was time for him to return to where he belonged, wile away the minutes or the hours until she returned, and then he would take up his duty once more until the final bell tolled and the end came.

_I only wish that I could do more_. He could follow her everywhere at her heels, help wherever he could, watch as she mended hearts in preparation for the end. He could watch her receive Serah into open arms, and watch Snow take her up in his arms and laugh joyously. But he could never–

He silenced those thoughts, something he had become skilled at over the past five centuries.

When next he took solid form, it was inside the temple's gran receiving hall that doubled as the throne room, the dark crystal throne of Etro still suspended in midair as it had always been. No longer did it radiate light as it had done while the goddess had lived, or when Lightning's crystal statue had perched atop it for nearly five hundred years. Once she had vanished, so too had the last light.

There was no reason for him to stand here in solid form, really, not when there was no one else here who could make use of his ability to do so. Yeul received him in the chaos, as she herself had no solid form, and he heard her in the form of endless whispers all around him, endlessly cycling through the air, waiting for him.

But he stood rooted to the spot, and stared at the floor.

Cold air brushed across his exposed skin; he peered sidelong to see Yeul, the one from the War of Transgression, appear a few feet away, cloaked in shadows, but her eyes were clear and focused. There was love in the those eyes, a look he had become well accustomed to.

"Welcome home, my Guardian," she whispered, and smiled.

Though he tried to return it, the only thing that came out was a twist of his lips that barely bore a resemblance to a facsimile of a smile. Annoyed that his body had betrayed him, he watched her smile falter before it fell away into her usual stoic expression, and her large green eyes bored into him in silence.

"Is there something you need of me?" he murmured.

The girl's expression crumbled slightly, and again he cursed himself, knowing the tone to be too accusatory, too stern. "Nothing but your presence," she said, her voice very gentle. "You have returned to us, and it seems as though you wish to stay longer this time. We are gladdened by this."

Yeul heard him wherever he went, through the chaos, so even his conversations with Lightning were not exempt from her watchful eye. "I will continue to perform my duty to you," he assured her. "Now, and into forever, as I gave in my oath to you in ancient times. That will never change."

The girl smiled again. Caius looked at the crystal throne again, felt something brush across his armor, and moved his arm out of reach, sensing Yeul's heart suddenly prickle with emotion before it melded into the chaos and he could no longer separate her uniqueness from the others.

* * *

_Alright, I admit it. I'm not terribly happy with how this chapter turned out, but at least it's finally done. Been planning Noel's scene and the ending to Cardesia's quest for a long time. I do assure you, though, you won't want to miss the next chapter. No joke. As I'm quite excited for it, expect it to show up by next Saturday, with Sunday evening being the latest. Stay tuned, and please don't forget to review! (even though, honestly, I do know this chapter wasn't **quite** up to snuff)_


	30. Cold Light

_**29 Cold Light**_

When the teleporter deposited Lightning into the Radiant Garden, she felt the ache of weariness in her bones suddenly become heavier than ever as she stumbled forward. Water splashed around her feet; she saw through a haze of exhaustion the silhouette of Hope, the golden light shimmering on his silver hair, and his warm smile. He was always here, she realized, like some sort of angel to greet her and wash away her worries with that smile. Compared to Caius's cold, angular features, Hope seemed a jewel delicately carved by an inhuman hand so skilled that one could only be left in awe of the resulting craftmanship.

"You look exhausted, Light," he murmured, smile fading. "Is something bothering you?"

"Sort of," she murmured, and gathered enough energy to walk over to Yggdrasil and gaze up at it. A flicker of light appeared as her gathered eradia melded into its towering green stem, and a bud unfurled from the side. The flower at the very top seemed to perk and brighten a little more. Its large pinkish petal spread a little, and the yellow center glowed a little bit brighter than it had yesterday

"How many days now?" she said, walking over to him as he turned to his console.

"Uh, ten, it looks like. You won't need to gather much more to guarantee thirteen. Great job." He flashed a smile at her. "See? I knew you could do it. Serah is ever closer."

Lightning stared up at the console, at the shape of Etro's Gate hovering behind the monitors, and remembered what Lumina had said, warning her of Bhunivelze's lies, of not being able to trust Hope. She thought of Hope urging her to keep her distance from Caius, of Lumina revealing to her that Bhunivelze had cut Serah out of her – by design or by accident – when he had stolen away her heart, of the clavis killing the people in the chaos and Vanille as well, of Yeul warning her that she could not save everyone without first being saved herself.

The worries gnawed away at her, making it difficult to think. She couldn't focus, and her mouth went dry.

"Light? Are you okay?" Hope's voice dripped with concern.

She was vulnerable here, without the chaos to shield her. But this was no time for holding back. If her memories were true, Hope could be trusted implicitly, and at least she could express her worries and have him smooth them away with a smile, like he always had.

But if _Lumina_ was right, and Caius had been earnest in his warning, then she preferred to face it head-on, and move forward without having to watch her back.

But she prayed Lumina was toying with her, that Caius's words would end up hollow.

"I'm fine," she said, and smiled slightly. "Been a while since I've eaten. Do you have any food up here?"

He still looked concerned, but his expression warmed at her query. "Of course, anything you like. Have something particular in mind? It'll take me a few minutes to get it."

She thought a moment, then said, "Surprise me."

The smile that spread across her comrade's face was bright. "Sure thing, Light. Have a seat. I'll let you know when it's ready." He turned away, and briefly she wondered how he could conjure food – but then she remembered that this _was_ Bhunivelze's realm, so no doubt he was capable of providing edibles.

A short time later, long enough for her to wake up a little after resting, he called her over. She stood and made her way over to the console to find a gilded plate stamped with Bhunivelze's crest and edged in what seemed to be tiny gemstones perched near the edge. On it, she found colorful fruit cold to the touch, a pile of mash that appeared to be made of grain mixed with bits of vegetables and drizzled with an orange-colored sauce, a lean cut of meat she didn't recognize – but from the color, it seemed to be behemoth – and assorted pieces of bright vegetables.

She gazed in wonder a moment as she lifted it. "Wow. What's this?"

"My surprise." His green eyes glittered. "Of course, I had to fix it up a little. Bhunivelze has no need of it and does not understand emotions, so the original meal was rather bland. I tried to add things that would taste good, as well as be nutritious." He shrugged. "The thought of 'enjoying' food is alien to him. Hope you like it."

"Smells good enough." Raising the plate closer, she inhaled it. Various scents mingled with one another; she picked up the single utensil, a cross between a fork and spoon made of silver, and picked through the food until she found something appetizing to start with.

As more of the crest was revealed, she felt her brow knitting. Everything about the arrangement, from the priceless dinnerware to the selection of foods, felt too elegant, too glorious, for her liking.

Hope chatted while she ate, and she listened to him talk about the progression of the chaos, the lack of progress he had made on finding Odin, and musing about their pasts and what would become of their future. She listened more than spoke, nodding every so often, and cleaned every last morsel off her plate. Despite Hope's best efforts, the base meal still tasted bland, but enough spices had been added to mask most of it.

When the plate touched the console, it suddenly lost mass and vanished in a flicker of golden light. She raised one eyebrow at the show. Convenient.

"Well, that's all I have for now," he said. Resting his palms on the edge of a console and leaning on them, he raised both eyebrows at her. "Though I'm sure I've just about talked your ear off. Been a while since I've really been able to just _talk_ to you, Light. It's good to have the chance now. So..." The corner of his mouth lifted. "...is there anything at all on your mind? I noticed the chaos in Yusnaan seems to have dissipated."

"Oh, right, I completely forgot." She nodded. "Snow has returned from being a Cie'th. He's back being the Patron."

His eyes widened slightly. "That is good to hear. Tell me, how'd you do it?"

"I didn't," she admitted, shaking her head. "I wish I could explain what happened, but something used his pendant to reverse his transformation. I had been about to cleave him in half and end his torment, too, but it blocked me and cut right through the chaos to change him back."

"Another of life's great mysteries," he murmured. "Only Etro had the ability to reverse such a transformation, and now she is gone. Perhaps someone has, somehow, gained similar power." His gaze wavered when she met it, briefly dropping away, but returning quick as thought. Lightning studied his face, but it told her nothing. "It doesn't matter, though. Some things just stay as mysteries. This is probably one we'll never understand."

She nodded slowly, still studying him, but his features were unreadable, as though she looked at a stranger. It had the face of her friend, the expressions of him, but they didn't seem quite right somehow.

"I can trust you, can't I, Hope?"

He almost looked offended. "Of _course_ you can trust me, Light. That's why I'm here. And I trust _you_. If there's something on your mind, just say it. I won't get upset, promise."

_That's why I'm here_. Feeling a chill settle over her at those words, she tried not to think about them too hard. Of course he had been chosen because she trusted him. In this strange world, where her old friends had been caught up in the chaos, their hearts burdened with darkness, who else could she trust but him, who had been kept pure even as everything else had fallen apart, by Bhunivelze himself?

She tried not to fidget when she said, "You... you said the people in the chaos may not have been in Bhunivelze's plan to go to the new world." She looked carefully at him, watching his expression, but for now, it was unreadable. "But, why would that be? He _does_ want as many people saved as possible, right?"

"I..." Hope's eyes narrowed. "I guess. But remember, he can't see into the chaos. Maybe he didn't understand those people as a result, and thought it best that they were destroyed. They may have been too badly tainted, to the point that even you could not have saved them. Like I said before, it's a numbers game."

Her eyes returned to the monitors. A shiver raced through her. "But now the clavis is gone. Will he try again?"

Pause, then, matter-of-factly, "No."

Lightning, puzzled, looked at him again. "And how do you know that?"

"The same way I know about eradia, lost time, saving souls, and all of that," he told her with a sigh. "I don't know _how_ I know, Light, but it's like..." A crease formed in his brow, alien on his normally perfectly placid countenance. "...someone's whispering in my ear, or into what remains of my heart. Like a distant voice."

Lightning swallowed, saying, "Bhunivelze took her away, you know."

"He..." His eyes widened. "...what?"

"Serah. When I woke up, he cut my heart away, but she used to be there. I used to be keeping her safe." Raising a hand, she balled it into a fist and rested it over her heart. "She used to be _right here_, safe and sound, rather than being swept up in the chaos when it came. He took my emotions and Serah with them, and then I don't know what might have happened to her. I don't trust him, Hope, not anymore."

While his overall expression did not change, a stricken look came into his eyes, quickly, and faded, but she knew she had not imagined it. "But he _did_ promise..." Trailing off, he stared at her, mouth slightly open, fingers flexing at his sides. "Lightning, I... I don't understand," he said, finally.

She turned, leaning on the console, and gathered her wits and her breath, clearing her mind. Quick as her namesake, she carefully lined up all her worries, all her thoughts, and began pulling them out, presenting them to her comrade in hopes that he would silence the doubts that clawed at her mind.

"Bhunivelze can't see into the chaos, which means he can't see into human hearts. That was why a human had to be chosen as the Liberator." Her fingers gripped the console until her knuckles felt as though they would snap. "I had to be chosen, and to push me onto the straight and narrow, he dangled a hostage in front of me and told me she would come back if I did his bidding." Raising a hand, she swatted it against the console, making the metal ring from the impact, and paced away from it toward the center of the platform. For a moment, her weariness was forgotten. "But if he can't see into our hearts, then all he can see is souls, and conveniently, _that_ is what I have been harvesting for him. There's no chaos up here, right?"

"Uh..." The boy sounded uncertain. "That's... right. It can't be allowed to invade his realm."

"But souls are just what make us people," she continued, as though he hadn't spoken. "Chaos is what gives us our hearts and makes us individuals. Without it, we're just dolls, puppets that can be pulled on strings. Tell me, Hope, do you know why he doesn't want the chaos up here?"

"It... would accelerate the end, and probably cause the tree to decay," he said, but his voice quavered. "He also blames it for destroying the world and tainting–"

At his sudden halt, she whirled on him, water splashing around her feet, incredibly loud in the silence. The light was low, a warm golden glow reminding her of a lingering sunset, and crystal shards floated through the air, all of them pivoting around the tree in silence. His eyes were wide, shining with the dim golden light, hair catching it in such a way that it scattered in dappled patterns across his shoulders. Angelic, she thought again. Unsettling.

"And... tainting what?" she murmured.

Hope drew a deep breath. "He finds the chaos a curse that must be purged."

Lightning's thoughts shot instantly to the mural of Mwynn, sinking into some sort of dark sea, and cursed herself for not recognizing it as a vast sea of chaos – the very one her son had thrown her into, no doubt. Someone in the distant past had known the truth about these "gods" and tried to tell the world before it was too late. Instead, the murals had been conveniently desecrated, then buried under the sands. Had the bandits not found the ruins and she not needed to go for the clavis, perhaps no one would have ever found them.

"So, if he can't see hearts, he can't attach them to souls. If souls are reborn without hearts, and without chaos to make them people, then they're just dolls." The words coming out of her mouth, rushing out like someone had cracked a dam, made her uneasy, causing her to pace restlessly as she spoke. "And if someone gets swept up in the chaos, then _they_ must be destroyed like he had planned. Dajh would have been destroyed, and... and _Serah_."

It was like being punched in the gut, and suddenly she understood.

Caius's words came back to her, haunting her.

"Bhunivelze was never going to give her back to me, was he?" she murmured, staring at the floor between her feet, her bones feeling as though made of lead. "Maybe he could have crafted a body to house a soul, but it wouldn't have been her, not really. It would look like Serah, and it would talk like Serah, but it wouldn't _be_ her. Her heart is out in the chaos somewhere, and _he cut her out_."

"You don't know that, Light," he said, but his voice trembled. "Bhunivelze made you a promise. If we do as he tells us, then you get Serah back, and we get a–"

"But he cut out my heart _and_ yours." She looked at him again. "Crafted us into perfect tools, ones that were not likely to question what he asked of us, but he left me alone down there for far too long. Caius was right, Lumina was right, and we were both fools." Raising her hands to her face, she rubbed her eyes with her fingertips. "And I still don't think that's the whole story. There must be _more_ to it."

Hope was flexing his fingers at his sides, his whole body fidgeting, and he didn't look so angelic. She stared at him, feeling as though she gazed into some infinite pool of knowledge that, if she could just crack the surface, she would find all the answers she desired therein. "But, if he did that, then what will happen to us? To my heart, and yours?" His voice was small, bearing no hint of Bhnivelze's chosen.

"Nothing, if he doesn't try to stop us from being ourselves," she murmured, "but if he does, I will fight him if I have to, and I will free us both from his grasp."

Hope backed up a step. Her nerves prickled at the sight of it. "Light, this is... this is _traitor_ speak."

"But don't worry," she tried to assure him, "I won't unless–"

"You're covered in chaos," he interrupted, eyes wide as he took another step back. "I told you, you're spending too much time around Caius. I _told_ you he would affect you, and now I see he's been dripping poison into your mind, whether intentionally or otherwise. I _told_–" And then he regained control of himself, closing his eyes, taking a long, deep breath, letting it out slowly, but Lightning kept staring. Something was happening, and for the first time, she desperately wished that–

She felt her heart tighten as the treasonous thoughts raced through her. Who had stood at her side, willingly or not, and protected her, watched over her, listened to her worries, promised his help? It had not been Hope, for he had been cut off from her, the chaos a wall neither could break through.

And though she knew she did not _need_ him, she wanted _him_ to be here at her side, just for a moment.

"If you kill Bhunivelze, that's the end of it. You won't get Serah back."

"I won't get her back anyway," she told him firmly. "At least, not the real Serah. I'll get some semblance of her, but if he can't bring her heart back, then all my journey has been for naught. I just..." She took a quick breath, the rising anxiety inside her foreign to her empty heart, and she wished she had her emotions so that she would know how to react and what to do. Everything was out in the open now. She couldn't take it back.

"But you can't know for sure. He may have a way yet." Hope shook his head, looking uncomfortable, leaning against the console now with his body sagging slightly. "Light, rest on this, okay? Sleep now. When you wake up, we can go over this again. Let's figure out how to proceed then."

She wanted nothing more than to obey, to crawl onto the cot and rest her weary body. Part of her wished she had never said anything at all or let her traitorous mouth run off like it had. Had Lumina not whispered words of doubt into her mind, and Caius not confirmed them, she never would have spoken. She would have hung on until the last day, willingly playing the part of the pawn to save her sister.

But she was not going to do it for some lie. And in the morning, when she awoke, she would steal Hope away from this place and find some other way to save them all.

"Yeah, you're probably right," she murmured, and turned away. The small piece of her heart that still remained felt sick and heavy as she crawled onto the cot and let its contours cradle her body. The lights dimmed further, shadows melding into one another, and she closed her eyes against it.

"Try not to worry, Light," were Hope's last words to her as she drifted away. "Even if it's all true, I'll still be at your side, forever. Nothing will _ever_ change that."

Fervently hoping his words were truth, she emptied her mind and fell into a deep sleep.

* * *

Lightning's eyes snapped open, abruptly, and were greeted by the bronze hues of the dim light of the Ark. The air was deathly silent, the crystals still slowly parading around the floating tree. Thinking something had startled her awake, she gasped and sat upright – too quickly, she found, and became suddenly dizzy. She groaned and raised one hand to her temple, holding it until the dizziness went away. Once her head cleared, she stood and looked all around, rolling her shoulders, working out the kinks.

Hope was nowhere in sight. The monitors were dark. The consoles had been dimmed, and no data streamed across them. Nothing broke the quiet.

Lightning blinked, remembering her last conversation with him, and called out, quietly, "Hope?"

Nothing answered, not even an echo, swallowed by the void.

She cleared the burr of sleep out of her throat and called out his name again, louder, but again was greeted only by the oppressive silence. Water splashed when she walked forward until she stepped up onto the smooth white stone that made up the central dais. The light did not change; murky shadows clung to every nook and seemed to hang suspended in midair all around her, as though waiting to pounce.

Growing more bewildered by the moment, she looked all around. Had she ended up back in her heart somehow, perhaps while she slept? Had it taken on a new form, without the restless chaos?

But one deep breath told her the only chaos present was that which clung to her skin and clothing, the strongest scent telling her it belonged to her companion on the world below, mingling with the fainter touch of the ambient chaos that pervaded Nova Chrysalia. No, this was not her heart, so where was Hope?

Walking over to the consoles, she tried a few buttons, but nothing changed – no lights, no sounds, nothing. None of it responded to her touch. Perhaps it had been crafted only to respond to Hope.

Frowning, she tapped her fingertips on a console and half-turned, looking all around again.

A glimmer of pinkish light appeared in her peripheral vision; she turned her head, seeing something shimmering at the center of the dais, suspended at chest height. Her boots _clicked_ across the stone as she moved closer, curious as to what this could be and wondering if it could give her answers. It was something new, at least, something that had never showed up here in the Ark before.

When she stood before it, the shimmer suddenly lengthened and widened. Next came pink hair, large blue eyes, pale skin, and long, thin limbs she knew very well.

Half in shock, she said, "Serah?"

And it _was_, her dear sister, dressed in the clothing she had worn through her journey, and she greeted Lightning with a smile as radiant as the sun. For a moment, the warrioress couldn't breathe, gaping in shock, unable to summon any coherent thoughts as she stared at the apparition before her.

"There you are," Serah said, and it was definitely her voice. "I'm so glad you're okay. Bhunivelze decided to let me see you, to reward you for all your hard work." The smile widened further, and Serah gazed at her with warmth in her eyes. "We're going to be together soon. We're so close now."

"I– I–" Lightning closed her mouth.

Serah tipped her head and raised an eyebrow. Across her, the shimmer of crystal flowed, head to toe, in a constant repeating pattern, while a halo of pinkish-white light wavered faintly around her entire silhouette. "Oh, come on, smile for me. I know you can do it." When Lightning still stared, she tipped her head the other way. "Yeah, you _are_ the same old Lightning. You've finally got your sister, what you've been fighting for, right in front of you, and you just refuse to let on you're glad."

Finally, Lightning gathered her thoughts and tried to smile, aware it was forced and vague. The shock began to dissipate. "For now, this is the best I can do."

Serah laughed quietly. Lightning wished she had her emotions so she could really appreciate what she saw – her sister, more or less alive and well, right in front of her like old times. "Well, don't worry. We'll be together again real soon, and I can make you smile again. Just... think about happier times."

"Happier times, huh?" Lightning snorted. "When was _that_?"

"Before we started making a mess of things, fooling around with fate and fal'Cie," Serah murmured.

_Those were happier times?_ She thought of how she'd thrown herself into her duties as a security officer to the point of neglecting Serah, how they had argued and fought until she'd driven her away, of their branding and the future so coldly handed to them by the ruler fal'Cie Barthandelus. Even at the end, when she had given her blessing to Serah and Snow to marry, had she ever _truly_ been happy?

The word was foreign to her, she realized. She had felt the fringes of it, but it had never consumed her to the point of forgetting all her worries and her pain.

Would that be something she could finally have?

"Before we made all those mistakes," the other woman continued, and looked down.

"Mistakes? Was it really?" Lightning frowned, but more out of memories of guilt and the feeling of it brushing through her heartless void. "I sent you on that foolhardy journey to 'save the future', calling you to Valhalla. If it really _was_ a mistake, then I'm the one to blame for it."

"Of course it was. The world ended and I _died_. If _that_ wasn't a mistake, what is? And... and what's this I hear about you spending time with Caius?" Her voice was miserable. "He _killed_ me."

A pang of guilt touched Lightning's heart. Though she had managed to get a grip on that painful reality enough to last through these last days, it was still true. She was indeed traveling the world with the man who had, indirectly but truly, slain her beloved sister just for the sake of Yeul. Not only that, but she now had the audacity to look her sister in the eye, knowing full well what she was doing, knowing she had begun to trust him.

"He's helping me, Serah," she said. "By accompanying me, he's allowing me to make use of his power. It's actually helpful, and I'm grateful for it." She hesitated, realizing the words were true.

But Serah looked solemn. "It doesn't change what happened. We fought so hard to stop him, and then he just cut us all down like we were weeds tangled in his path. He didn't care about the consequences, or anything besides Yeul. It was just too much for him. You can't trust him, not even now. He..." She lowered her gaze. "He can never make up for what he did. Never. Don't ever forget that."

Lightning pressed a fist against the emblem on her chest, wishing she could draw strength from it, but it could offer her no strength, nothing that could help her now. "_I_ am trying to make it up to you, Serah. Give me a bit longer, and I promise, we'll be together again. When we go to the new world, we'll be happy. None of this will matter anymore, alright?" She lowered her fist. "We'll live on, and greet a new dawn."

"Maybe." Serah frowned at her. "I just want to forget it all. All of it was too painful, too... too _much_."

Something cold slithered through her blood at those words. They seemed _wrong_. As though the apparition imitated Serah, but could not mimic her exactly. Was that something her sister would say? Would her sister, who had pleaded with her not to forget her, who had pushed on knowing full well she would _die_ at the end of her journey, really admit that she would rather forget it all?

_Don't trust Bhunivelze, and don't trust Hope_.

"Forget?" It was her turn to frown at her sister. "But, why? It was an important journey, and it defined both of us in so many ways. It may have been awful, but it happened. I don't want to forget the past. I want to learn from it." Suspicion battled hope in her heart, and the former edged out when her tongue formed the traitorous words: "I don't think that's something you would say, if it was really you."

Serah stared in shock. "But sis, I've been here the whole time! I even heard what you were saying about Bhunivelze cutting me away! How can you _say_ things like that?"

"So you're going to tell me he _didn't_ cut you out of me and throw you aside?"

Serah's became frightened. "Sis, please, don't do this. Bhunivelze, he– he isn't going to–"

"No." Though it hurt to do it, Lightning stood her ground, coldly cutting her off with a single firm word, and moved closer, leaning in. "My sister was strong, much stronger than anyone, including myself, gave her credit for. She never ran away from anything. She _never_ turned her back on the past. She was with me when I went into the crystal, and then she got tossed aside with my heart. Which means, you _and_ my heart are both out in the chaos somewhere." She hesitated, then said, "Who are you, really?"

For a long time, Serah said nothing, only staring at her with widened eyes. The longer the silence went on, the more ridiculous Lightning felt. She was no better than she had been long ago, accusing her sister of bearing a fake brand so she had an excuse to marry a man that Lightning had _despised_, then threatening her with death if her story really did turn out to be true. And now, here she was, disbelieving her _again_.

But... this _image_ carried no scent of chaos.

Refusing to give in to her growing fear and the ache that had begun in her chest, she waited.

Serah's eyes flew open wider; her hands flew up to cover her mouth, and she screamed, the sound piercing in the silence that still engulfed the Ark. Lightning reeled back instinctively from it, keeping her eyes on Serah, the ache in her chest becoming pain she couldn't ignore. _No, no, no, please!_ As the image began to shimmer, cracks forming across the shell, she cursed herself for her foolishness.

Serah's scream became everything at once, and for a moment in time, it seemed that the universe compressed into a point, a bright singularity from which she could not escape, where she saw the consequences of her unkind words and lack of trust, before it collapsed, and the image shattered.

Lightning screamed, "_No_!"

But then something drove her back, hard enough to bring her down to the stone. She lay there, dazed, the Ark spinning around her, the pain in her chest excruciating. She gasped for breath and held her head between her hands, wanting to shout for someone, _anyone_ to help her and get her away from the prison pressing down on her body, but the words tangled in her throat when she tried to speak. Instead, all that came out was pathetic whimpering, some invisible force keeping her pinned to the dais with ease.

"Why do you defy the gift of eternal bliss and love I shill bestow upon you?"

Lightning's eyes flicked open. Panting for breath, she managed to crane her neck up enough to look in the direction of the voice. In place of Serah stood a different silhouette, small and slender, but she knew it well. Puzzled, a faint sense of panic bubbling in her blood, she blinked away the haze of pain enough to see. When the image grew clear, she could not stop the sharp intake of breath that underlined her shock.

Hope stood there, inhumanly calm, expressionless, but everything about him was wrong. Wreathed in a faint golden glow, he stared down at her through glacial green eyes. Even his voice had gone flat.

"H... Hope?" she choked out. "Is... is that–"

"That is the name of the vessel I inhabit. You impress me, my Liberator, that you could be so unpredictable as even to awaken the Maker before he planned to return to this realm." A strange smile spread across the other's face, but his eyes did not match up to it. "I gave you a chance to return to the right path. You desired your sister, and I gave her to you, and yet you rejected her. Is it not good enough for you?"

Lightning pried herself away from the dais, feeling the pressure lessen enough to move. She did not feel any sort of defiance in her blood. Instead, only a flicker of fear remained.

"Bhunivelze," she murmured. "You took his body."

"He made for the perfect vessel, now that the culmination of my crafting is complete. Now I can stand among you, blessing you with my presence, and walk the path to the new world I will bequeath." The thing that looked like her friend glanced between its two hands, extended slightly before him. "But you have not answered my question. Why do you reject my plan like this?"

"You weren't going to give my _sister_ back, only some mockery that parroted her," she said. "But it wasn't her, and I would have known it. I know my own sister."

His lips curled back from his teeth in the shadow of a grin that chilled her bones. It was as though she stared at the face of some ancient demon that dared her to make a wrong move. "I would merely have taken your pain and grief away, and brought you to a blissful existence in my new world," he said. "You would not be burdened by memories of what came before, and would exist to worship me and shape my new realm."

Lightning snarled the words, "No better than puppets."

"But what else do you do with tools? Humans have always held great power within them. Even without the taint of the darkness, you still have uses. In my new world, you would be the ultimate tools, and in return, you would live eternally in glorious bliss." The grin dropped off his face, and his expression melded into one quite displeased with her. "But _you_, my Liberator, I have chosen well. Your heart is strong, but you are tainted. You must be cleansed before you can be fitted back into my plan."

"Your _plan_?" She spat the words with all the ferocity her damaged heart could manage. "You know I can't be an accessory to this. You are no better than the fal'Cie before us, calling us 'tools' and planning to _use_ us. I can't stand by and let that happen."

"I would have given you happiness, eternal bliss, in the world to come. No more pain, no more anger, no more despair. Even death may have been wiped away, or the fear of it." Raising a hand, he waved it in the direction of the great tree. Lightning watched in faint horror as it disappeared in a flicker of light. "You are not a lost cause entirely. There is yet a chance. But your final test begins now."

Lightning, beginning to understand, stared at him and tried to reach for her sword, but her hand rammed against some sort of barrier that forced her to recoil.

"You can accumulate no more days," he said. "This Ark can no longer be your haven. Your time on the world below will no longer be easy. Now you will fight for the souls you save. As for you..." Holding her in place with some invisible energy she could feel crackling through her muscles like electricity, he moved up to her and held a hand over the emblem on her chest. Lightning strained against his power, but though she could feel it giving way ever so slightly, the strength quickly drained out of her, leaving her paralyzed.

The pain in her chest had lessened, but now it spiked again; her vision darkened as she gasped desperately for air.

"_You_ will lose your power." He smiled and spread his fingers.

The pain became unbearable; Lightning strained against it, trying to see through the haze of pain, but it was unlike anything she had ever known before, worse than the chaos beast, than her brief existence as a Cie'th, far more terrible than any of her worst nightmares. She coughed as her chest became constricted, heart racing, trying so hard to keep blood and nutrients flowing, but she felt her mind cracking open. Unable to cry out, she closed her eyes instead and fought as hard as she could to stay awake.

Bhunivelze pulled harder on the crystal embedded in her chest, the source of her power; Lightning's eyes flicked open when nothing seemed to have happened still. With some difficulty, she managed to claw her way through the haze of pain to bring his form into focus.

His expression had darkened. Lightning tried to breathe again and pushed back with all her might. He wasn't taking her power away. He _wasn't_. She could _not_ go on without it, not willing to risk facing his trials without the ability to meet whatever he might throw at her, now that her betrayal had been made clear. If he thought she would just give up and submit to him, then he was horribly wrong, and she was determined to make that clear.

And then, as though scalded, he snatched his hand back.

Lightning drew in a deep breath, hands automatically going to her chest as her heart thudded against her ribs, the pain suddenly disappearing. For the moment, she was just grateful to be alive and intact.

"The taint prevents me from retaking my power. Interesting." His eyes gleamed; she didn't like the look of it. "Very well. Perhaps you will yet earn your place in the new world, but how you walk your path through the next days shall decide how you greet the new world. Embrace the light."

The ground opened up; Lightning remained in midair for a few moments more, long enough for his words to sink in and make sense, before she began to freefall. Her voice caught in her throat, unable to cry out, as the Ark dissolved into shimmering crystal lattice, then nothing. Even Bhunivelze winked out of existence. Air rushed past her ears, whipping her hair against her face; she regained coherent thought and forced her body to turn, carving her path in the air with her shoulder, and got herself turned to face the direction of the wind.

Only to see the Sea of Chaos roiling below, which the Ark had been suspended over, and in the distance, the golden sands of the desert, too far to reach.

Her fear must have been great indeed, for it shot through her like a blast of energy, sparking to her fingertips, as the Sea grew ever larger and deeper and more ominous, glowing in some places and nearly black in others, and there was no way to cease her fall. Though she struggled to come up with some way to avoid the inevitable, any thoughts scuttled away before they could take root as she tossed them, one after another. None of them would work. She was doomed, then, to sink into the darkness and fade.

"Odin!" she shouted, but the wind swallowed her voice, stealing it away like smoke, and the Sea of Chaos grew ever larger, the surface shimmering in bright blue hues.

But Odin, her faithful steed, her eternal companion, her most trusted comrade, who had always protected her from the dangers of Valhalla, could not hear her. He had been lost, her steed hidden from her, and she would not be able to find him now. Unless some miracle happened, she would crash into the darkness and be lost. Unless her mind was as strong as she hoped and what remained of her heart pure enough, the chaos would swallow her up and drive her mad until she was lost within its infinite depths, and there would be no future.

"Odin! _Odin_!" she screamed, but already knew it to be futile. Wherever he was, somehow, she knew it was where she could not be heard.

She was close enough now to see the Sea rippling and pulsating like something alive. She steeled her resolve, knowing she had to fight, to be strong, or she would be lost in its darkness forever. As she reached the surface, it seemed to reach up for her, claws of shadow embracing her, and she broke it open with a _crack_, only to be pulled down without any fanfare, deep into the formless depths.

* * *

_This chapter here is one I've been waiting to write for a long while now. I spent the whole week editing it, trying to make it perfect. This is the moment when the story truly diverges from canon. This is the moment so many others have been leading up to. I hope you enjoyed it, and do let me know what you think!_


	31. The Shadowed Path

_**30 The Shadowed Path**_

This early in the morning in Ruffian, the fortress slept in silence but for a few early risers who braved the heat to venture out into the desert. The sun was rising slowly, the night breeze had died, and Vanille woke against her wishes to the shadowy recesses of her apartment. It was a tiny thing carved out of the rock, furnished with a few cheap artifacts, a handmade and well-frayed rug tossed on the floor, and a dusty mirror, but she liked it quite a lot, enjoying its rustic hominess. It felt like a good friend, despite the cramped space.

Groaning softly, she pawed the sheets out of the way and yawned for a long time, stretching out all four limbs until her joints popped. Humming softly to herself, trying to shake away the unpleasant dreams of her years-long prison in the cathedral, she managed to make it to her feet.

Above the door to her apartment was a grate bolted into a gap in the rock, perhaps to cover up a workman's mistake. Through it, she heard nothing at all.

Rubbing the sleep from her eyes, she shuffled to the container of chilled water in the corner, removed the lid, dipped in a rag, and scrubbed her face and arms. The shock of the cold water jolted her awake; she splashed some of the precious liquid on her face and coughed when she accidentally inhaled some. Once the fit passed, she set the lid back on, shed her sleeping clothes, and donned her day clothes.

As she fitted her skirt, her hands moved more slowly, mind drifting back to the day she had left the cathedral and not once looked back. She thought of Cecil, doting upon her with a smile, of the guards who protected her even from the shadows, and of Vashti, the priestess, fawning over her every day.

Had it not been a gilded cage for a woman who had sought so long for the strength to be independent, it would not have been so bad.

She kicked aside her guilt and snapped the last clasp in place. Her stomach grumbled at her; she pressed her hand to it and smiled a little. After making sure she looked presentable to anyone she happened to run into, she made her way down to the bar once more in search of breakfast. The bartender was not behind the counter – instead, he was hard at work tidying up a table that had been knocked askew, crouched on the floor and fiddling with the bolts that kept the leg attached to the main section.

Vanille walked closer, cocking an eyebrow. The patrons here got much too rowdy.

The bartender paused and looked up at her. "Oh, hey there," he muttered. "Sorry, just let me get this one thing done and I'll get ya somethin'. Some idiot decided to slam his friend into the table." Pause; he pursed his lips. "Ah, not that he had any malice or nothin'. Just got too happy on the liquor, I guess."

"Um..." She placed one hand on her hip and looked sidelong at him, jabbing her free index finger at the table that was still not sitting straight. "This happen a lot?"

He groaned; a tool slipped from his hand to clatter on the floor. "Chickie, you have _no_ idea."

Despite his annoyed tone, she smiled.

Casting a glance around, she found Noel at another table, bent over and scrubbing hard at something that seemed to have dried itself to the surface. As she approached, he glanced up and gave her a quick smile before going back to his work. A moment later, he dunked the rag in a bucket of soapy water and went at it again, the water pooling across the table until it dripped off onto the rough-hewn stone floor.

"Found something to busy yourself, I see," she said, examining his work. The rest of the table was spotless. "Having fun?"

"Oh, plenty." Looking at her again, he rolled his eyes; she grinned.

"Noel, get over here and fix this table so I can make somethin' for this girl. I'm gonna throw it out a window. And I don't even _have_ any windows!" Punctuating the remark with a string of colorful choice words, he scuffed a foot on the floor before marching over to the bar. Noel sighed and dropped the rag into the bucket.

"What's on the menu for breakfast?" she said.

"Name somethin'! You want fried gorgon meat? A strip of cactuar hide? Maybe some gurgan... gurgun... ugh, giant tortoise eggs?" the bartender shouted, probably louder than needed, while she stared at him in amusement. She had never had cactuar hide and had no idea what it could possibly taste like. Maybe just plant.

"Sure," she said, and shrugged. "Surprise me."

He seemed pleased by this and turned around to go right to work.

Vanille looked at Noel, laying on his back on the floor and reaching up to work at the fasteners that would keep the bolts in place. With a few deft flicks of the wrist with one of the small tools, he got the leg secured and gave it a hard _smack_ that caused the table to skid slightly. He smiled. "There," he said, and sat up. "I'd like to see an earth eater take this thing apart."

She settled into one of the surprisingly comfortable chairs to wait on her meal and spent the time gazing out at the golden sands as the sun slowly rose. Noel returned to his original job of scrubbing tables. Each time he finished one, with a swiftness and efficiency that surprised her, he took a few moments to return whatever items had been on it – a small candle in a worn vase, a card that stood on end and acted as the drink menu, seasonings and packets – before he moved on to the next one, hoisting the bucket with him.

"There ya go." The bartender came up and set a steaming plate of exquisite scents before her. As the smell wafted into her nostrils, her mouth began to water. "Don't worry none about payin' just yet. The boss will probably try and cut ya a deal." He smirked and walked off.

"Try not to drop anything," Noel told her. "I _just_ cleaned that table."

Vanille focused on doing exactly thatl. In the quiet, Noel began to hum to himself, a seemingly random tune that he carried on throughout his work. The bartender moved on to scrubbing the pots and pans that he had used to make her meal. About halfway through, she heard the bartender shout greetings, and she looked up to see Fang's familiar silhouette stalk into the bar.

"Oh, Fang!" Vanille raised a hand and waved. "How are you feeling?"

"Hmm?" Fang stared at her a moment, then smiled slowly. "Oh, fine. I'm always fine." She walked over and sat down in a chair at the table, crossing her arms on the surface and staring at the wall a moment. Noel did not stop in his work and seemed to be at the last table.

Vanille examined her friend carefully. Fang looked tired, but not like before, and though she moved stiffly, she held herself up well enough, looking well enough despite her more-disheveled-than-usual hair. Noel glanced in their direction before continuing his work, still humming. The bartender didn't even look up.

"Sazh'll be joining us." Fang yawned. "Peaceful day."

Picking at her food a little, Vanille selected a morsel of meat, chewed and swallowed before saying, "You make that sound like a bad thing. Haven't changed much, have you?"

"I was never the one running off just to look at things, you," she retorted, and Vanille made a face.

Just as she was finishing up her meal, Sazh joined them, sitting down at the remaining open seat, and took a few moments to examine Vanille's plate before staring at the table instead. For a long moment, neither woman spoke, just looking at the man without any expression.

Fang, of course, broke the silence eventually. "Doin' alright, there?" she murmured.

He sighed. "I've, uh, been thinking about Dajh. We still haven't found him. And you, Vanille, you said you didn't hear him, right? That hasn't changed?"

Feeling her brow knit, she shook her head. "No, I haven't. Sorry, Sazh."

The older man grunted and dropped his hands in his lap as he leaned back. Perhaps he had no appetite. Had he had a bad dream? "Who knows, could be a good thing. If he got pulled into the chaos, not hearing him could be really, really bad. But if he somehow got out, or is being protected, well..." He looked at her with an eyebrow up. "...it could be really, really _good_. Means he's not screaming, you know?"

She thought of the little boy who had so innocently stumbled upon herself and Fang in the Euride power plant, the flash of light, the Sanctum brand glowing on the back of his hand, and cursed herself. If Dajh disappeared _now_, she would never be able to fully forgive herself for Euride. A long chain of events, starting with her cowardice, her lies, had eventually triggered the end of the world. In a way, this was _her_ fault.

"Don't start with that face." Sazh spoke firmly, poking her shoulder. "You aren't blaming yourself again, right?"

"I, uh..." She hesitated, then smiled. "No, of course not."

The lie burned like fire in her chest.

"Mm-hmm." Not looking convinced, but not wanting to pry, Sazh withdrew and laid his hand on the table to lean on it a little. "Yeah, well, I'm not getting that impression, but, whatever."

From across the table, Fang glared, but said nothing.

Noel finished his work and carried the now-dirty bucket of water out the entrance, probably to dump it out on the sands to evaporate. No one said another word. Vanille picked at the scraps on her plate before her stomach clenched and she pushed it away, trying to look casual. Fang continued to glare, while Sazh had found a spot on the wall more interesting than either of their faces.

A shout from outside sliced through her thoughts, ripping her out of unpleasant memories with an abruptness that nearly made her yelp. As it was, the chair skidded backward as she sprang out of it, suddenly wishing she had some sort of weapon, berating herself for not picking one up yet. Her binding rod had been lost years ago, and it now resided in the hands of the Order, somewhere in their cathedral of horrors.

Then she heard Noel, muffled, "Get back inside! _Get inside_!"

"What the–" Sazh cried as he shot to his feet.

"–startin' a ruckus in the mornin'?" Fang demanded as she mimicked him.

Vanille gasped and ran outside, conscious of her friend shouting after her not to go but paying her no heed. Noel was still outside, weapon unsheathed, but he gazed not at the horizon, or at anything closer to the fortress. Instead, his head was tipped back, hair falling back from widened eyes and grim-set lips; as a black shadow passed over them, she stopped, nearly running into him, and followed his gaze.

Across the sky, wheeling around to face them again, spread enormous wings covered in ornate curls and juts of bone and rock. Ahead of it, a fanged face sized them up.

"Ereshkigal!" Noel cried; she looked at him, noting the fear in his eyes. "What's she _doing_ here?"

Vanille swallowed. "Get back inside, Noel," she said. When he didn't move, she grabbed his wrist and yanked him almost off his feet, half-dragging him back into the shelter of the fortress. As they crossed the threshold into shadow once more, a blast of heat from behind made her yelp and fall to her knees on the hard stone. The shock of impact rattled all her bones; Noel toppled against a table and hissed.

"You _didn't_ say Ereshkigal, right? I _know_ you didn't!" Fang brandished her spear, unfolded to its battle position, as she hurried toward them. "She's never been so brazen before!"

Vanille looked over her shoulder. The sands smoked, blackened by the creature's attack, so thick that it choked out the sunlight and turned it the color of ash. Her knees wobbled as she climbed to her feet, resisting the urge to run but knowing being unarmed would not help them now.

Sazh had both hands on his pistols and a grim look on his face. "What is Ereshkigal?" he demanded.

"Some beastie that eats people or steals them away, never to be seen again. She just slaughters everyone else." Fang looked helpless despite her battle stance. "If she's here, then she's trying to take _us_. Normally she's out in the desert – _never_ has she tried to attack us directly before!"

Noel scrambled toward them as an explosion sent pieces of rock raining from the top of Ruffian. "So, what now?"

Fang gritted her teeth. "Not much choice. We fight."

Sazh coughed. The smoke and dust began to waft inside. "There's no _way_."

"Really? This coming from the guy who helped take down Orphan _and_ Barthandelus?" Fang faced him and grabbed the lapel of his jacket, tugging him a little closer, but replacing the gritted teeth was a gleam in her eyes. Vanille knew the look well. "Sure, we might not have our fancy powers, but you can still shoot things, I can still _stab_ things, and I'm pretty sure we're gonna take that thing _down_, right?"

Sazh, looking exasperated, pried her hand away. "Right, right, whatever. Fine. What do you suggest?"

"A straight fight." The woman looked at Vanille. "Hey, you. Go get a weapon."

Vanille forced herself to focus and nodded. "Right!"

"Then let's go get this done!" Noel said. The fortress shuddered around them, smoke and dust swirling around, and a pebble dislodged from a tiny crack in the ceiling. He punctuated his words by coughing.

"Then you're on the front lines. Prove you're a great hunter!"

Vanille wasted no more time, bolting into the main lobby where bandits scattered with their eyes wide, though some of them still looked groggy. Quickly, she picked out the forge, nestled against the back wall, and seized the first thing she laid eyes on, a short sword. The weight felt completely wrong, the balance off; she slammed it on the counter and tried another, but it felt too light. The spear was too long for her; a staff had weight meant for someone at least twice her size. Through all of this, the woman who ran the forge just gaped at her.

Then her hand sized a staff tucked in the corner and hefted it. The thing felt light, just enough for her, the shaft sturdy in her grip. Ornate ivory decorated the grip; she squeezed her fingers around it and tested the balance. It felt a little bit off, but not enough that she wouldn't be able to compensate.

It had been many years since she had trained with a staff. While she had eventually moved on to a binding rod, however, the basic principle of finesse and balance had remained, and instantly she knew that if she used this staff, it would feel right in her hand. She could fight now.

"Um, ah..." She patted her pockets, then withdrew what gil she had and practically threw it at the other woman, who caught it with a gasp. "Hang on to that! I'll pay the rest later!" And then she turned, fast enough to cause her short red skirt to billow out around her, and ran out.

"Wait, this isn't even–" And then, the woman sighed and shrugged, pocketing the gil. "Oh, whatever."

* * *

There was no light at first, and no sound. The silence was absolute, the darkness like staring into a void with no stars to guide her. It was absolutely nothing – and yet, everything at once. Though she heard nothing with her ears, she heard it with her heart, her soul – the screaming and surging of the chaos around her, flowing through her like cold water and trying to pull her every direction at once. The infinity of it threatened to tear her mind apart – it had no beginning, no end, no structure of time or space, no central point to its existence. It swallowed things, conjured thoughts and feelings, purged them out into the normal world again.

She grew aware of her limbs feeling very, very light, of her head becoming detached from her body, of her heart no longer beating blood through her. It was a strange sensation, that of being decoupled from her physical body, losing all she was to the infinite void, like smoke through her fingers when she tried to grasp it.

Lightning tried to move, but her arms and legs trailed her and her eyes would not open, body locked in the grip of something beyond her control and pulling her ever deeper into the depths.

When it had dragged her to Valhalla, it had released her once she had collapsed on the beach. Now, it had no place to put her except into its own dark heart. It took all her focus not to lose herself, struggling to hang onto the pieces of herself that she still had. At least it was easy enough – the remains of her heart were so small that she could hold it tight to her, while everything else fluttered, chained by tiny filaments.

She tried to call for help from her faithful steed again, but her mouth wouldn't open. Nothing worked. Her body did not obey her – it obeyed the chaos.

Fear seized her. Was there nothing she could do to avoid her fate?

_I am Lightning_, she told herself, commanding her body she sunk. _I am Lightning, the Liberator, full of Bhunivelze's power. I defied even his attempts to make me meaningless. You will obey_. Fighting as hard as she could, she gripped the filaments of herself tighter, pulling hard. Slowly, she felt her body begin to take form again, no longer melting away into the darkness, and then the chaos became cold on her skin. Still struggling, she pulled all her pieces together... but then they slipped through her fingers once again.

_You will obey_, she demanded, but it ignored her.

Through the endless whispering voices, she heard a girl chuckle, then the sensation of everything snapping back into place so quickly it startled her. Finally, her eyes opened, to more blackness. There was no difference between the inside of her lids and the darkness that surrounded her.

"Where am I?" she called out. Her voice carried into the infinite depths; she heard an echo of it, faint behind the words she spoke, definitely hers but very far away.

"Really? You have no idea where you are?" Lumina's disembodied voice came to her.

Lightning twisted, or believed she did, but there was nothing to orient her up from down. Dizzy, she righted herself, trying to face the direction she had come. She tried to claw through the darkness, treating it like water, but while she felt herself slow, she made no other upward movement. The surface drew ever further away, and still she sunk – or perhaps she was floating now, like flotsam, on the Sea.

"I know I'm in the Sea of Chaos," she said. A sigh escaped her after a moment. "Guess that's all."

And this was how it ended. Lightning, who had been through so much, conquered fal'Cie and her own fate, even faced her fated rival and defied the end of the world, would be lost to the darkness. Even if she maintained her grip on her own body, sooner or later, she would give in, out of boredom if nothing else.

"No, no, no." Lumina sounded disappointed. "You can't just _give up_. You're the _Liberator_. You have so many people left to save, and you can't leave poor little Hope! Besides, aren't you going to see Serah and go on to the new world with your friends?" And then the darkness was replaced by murky golden light, the silence by rushing wind, and she turned her head in time to see herself hit a body of water.

Coughing and sputtering, she dragged herself to the surface and broke it. Waves rolled all around her, but they were weak, nothing like a real sea. It reminded her instead of the Sea of Chaos lapping at Valhalla's black shores, but when a briny, sweet scent met her nostrils, it jostled her memories. At the same time, she got a good look at her new surroundings, seeing the sea sloping _up_ and away from her, into the horizon... _forming_ the horizon, she realized, and continuing up past clouds tinged pink and gold from an artificial sunset.

Trying not to think about what it meant, she tread water, forcing her exhausted body to move forward, until her feet found purchase on sandy ground under the water. With great effort, she pulled herself upright and waded through the shallows to a wide, white-sand beach that stretched into the curved horizon.

She blinked. The image of her surroundings shimmered faintly, like a corrupted video transfer, and wisps of chaos could be seen snaking out of it in spurts of darkness.

"Where am I?" she said, quietly this time.

Lumina's voice came to her, but the girl herself did not appear. "Really?" she said flatly.

It was true, Lightning really had no need to ask. The colorful spires, white sand, beautiful sunset, and waving palm trees had been engraved in her memories since she was a child. Bodhum, destroyed during Cocoon's first fall, could still be called an unmistakable example of modern architecture. Nothing else looked quite like it. Nothing would ever look like it again, not even the copy on Gran Pulse.

When she looked around, she spotted her old home, standing out over the water. Quaint, compared to many of the much larger homes with their curved storm windows gleaming in the sunlight. She knew it had been crushed during the fall, no doubt by debris plummeting from what had become the planetoid's "north". All of this was simply some sort of illusion, then, conjured up through the chaos.

"Is this a dream?" she murmured.

Lumina appeared then, striding out of the chaos, hands behind her back. "Yep," she said. "When people are swallowed up by the chaos, one of two things happen. If they're too weak, they get eaten up, becoming lost, like all those other people. If they're strong enough, they end up in a dream where they can be happy." Though she smiled, her voice sounded taut, as though she were upset. "This must've been your happiest time."

Lightning stared at her old home, feeling herself drawn toward it, but balked at the girl's words. "Happiest? These were _not_ happy days. They never were."

Her eyes glittered as though filled with tears. "Not even once?"

"You mean, when I wasn't throwing my life away trying to help Serah, not even realizing that I was just pushing her into the arms–" Cutting herself off, she gritted her teeth, shaking her head. "Just... pushing her to Snow, the one person left who would devote his life to her?" She glanced at Lumina, then her feet. They were alone here. No one in the chaos would care what she said.

Lumina did not say anything for a time. Her feet crunched across the sand; she kicked a shell out of her way, and it bumped across the tiny dunes before coming to rest in a divot. Only when she had moved to stand a few feet away from Lightning, almost directly in front of her, did she speak again.

"You're trapped here," she murmured. "Unless you get help, you won't be able to escape your dream."

Lightning looked at her. "I don't believe that. I can find a way out."

"_Why_ can't you accept help, Claire? _Why_ can't you just admit you can't do everything by yourself?" The girl's voice turned sharp, pained, louder than she expected; Lightning flinched at the use of her real name and backed up a step without really meaning to, watching the fire go back out of the other's eyes. Lumina stood without speaking, hands balled into fists, then the smirk spread across her lips again.

Uneasy under Lumina's abrupt mood swing, she stared, waiting to see what would happen.

"Doesn't matter," she said. "Someone _is_ here to see you, anyway."

"Someone?" She frowned. "Who, then?"

Lumina giggled, then waved a hand. A short distance away, chaos massed into a cloud. As it coalesced, she saw a slim and short form appear within it. At first, she thought it must be Yeul again, but then she realized that it was far too small to be hers. As she watched it take form, she grew more curious, the darkness rippling and pulsing... until a shape no larger than a small child appeared, finally took solid form, and smiled at her.

Lightning raised both eyebrows. "Wait, _Dajh_?"

The boy shook his head. "Not quite," he said, speaking in Dajh's voice, as smooth as glass and very calm. "The boy with that name _is_ here, but I am just taking on his form as something you are familiar with. I am the speaker for all of those trapped inside the chaos, the ones whom you saved from destruction by the clavis. We wanted to tell you how happy we are you did so."

Lightning blinked, then brushed it aside. She had seen stranger things just in the past few hours. "Alright, whatever you say. Are you the one who brought me here?"

"No, that was done by yourself."

Confusion clouded her mind. "Uh, no, I definitely didn't wanna come here."

"That is not precisely what I meant." The boy's smile never faded. It was odd, but not as disturbing as Bhunivelze doing the same in Hope's body. "I came to help you remember what you lost, and to bring you a message. I can tell you all that I know of the path laid before you, but be warned, no one can see the future anymore. Time has stopped. Actions do not have consequences anyone can track anymore. The chaos, you see, is more than just the stuff that makes up the individuality of our hearts. It is also pure spacetime energy, soaked into anything that exists in the physical world. Too little, and time has no purpose. Too much, and every point of time exists all at once... or not at all. It is unparalleled and eternal, unfathomable to us, and unique to our world."

Deciding not to think about that too hard, she nodded. "Alright. Get me out of here."

The boy shook his head again. "Not just yet. There are things you must be shown first." His last word trailed off as though blown away on the wind. Stumbling a little through the deep sand, she took a few steps forward, but could not reach him before he disappeared completely. Looking up, she saw him appear a long ways off, down the beach, very near to the path that led to her old home.

Lightning froze in place. Her great reluctance to proceed kept her rooted, though she knew the only way she would get out of this place would be to do as he requested. Though she did not have the emotions for them to matter all that much, she remembered the unhappy atmosphere of her home from long ago. It had not always been that way. Once, she and Serah had laughed and smiled at ridiculous things on the television, played tag on the beach, collected seashells and stones, and enjoyed simple but filling meals together.

That had all stopped when she had turned fifteen and their mother had faded out of their lives.

Her feet felt like lead; she picked them up, one step at a time, and forced herself to follow the boy across the beach to the house. It wasn't in quite the right place, though she couldn't really remember exactly where it had been, but most of it seemed correct. Even the reflection on the glittering water seemed real enough, though when she peered at her reflection, it looked back at her clear as crystal, unlike the haze around her.

"Mirrors here show you images of reality," the boy's voice came to her. "You are real, whereas all around you is not. The water and your reflection will show you truth."

Lightning peered closer, and realized that, beyond the reflection, she saw the unmistakable golden-brown shadows of chaos lit by sunlight. That, then, was what made up her surroundings – pure spacetime energy, containing within it every moment of time and yet none of it, thick with the imprints of many realities. They had all blended together at the end of the world, when the seal was broken, then.

She forced herself to move away and looked up the short flight of steps at the unremarkable front door. Her boots made little sound on the sturdy steps; she keyed in a code from memory – many, _many_ evenings spent in groggy waking moments, stumbling back from long workouts and exercises.

The murky light flooded into the room beyond. It was the living room. She hadn't seen it in ages.

Her feet made very little sound on the sand-colored, plush carpeting as she stepped inside, closing the door behind her. Though the shadows came again, the room brightened enough for her to see. A muted rumbling, like the sound of a pounding ocean on a distant beach, reached her ears, but when she looked all around, she saw nothing. Perhaps she heard all of time, then, spent within these walls – every word that had been spoken by herself and her family, and all the words of those who had lived in the home before them.

It was an unsettling thought, yet intriguing all the same. She gazed into the heart of time, now, and while the thought elated her, it also made her feel sick. "This is ridiculous," she growled. "Get me out of here."

"We can still be freed," the boy said, appearing in front of her now. "Vanille does not know it yet, but she has the ability to break our chains. Some are gone permanently and can never be recovered. That is reality. But anyone swallowed up by time since the world ended five hundred years ago can still be rescued, but not forever." There was a long pause, then he said, "Someday, the dream must end. You could save us, too, had your mind not been tainted and corrupted by Bhunivelze's power. She may have given herself over to her fate and been in the care of the Order, but her heart has always been pure, even when misguided. It does not excuse her past actions, but it does give her one last thing she must do."

"Suppose I turned my back on Bhunivelze," she said, "as I did. Can I save you now, or is it still her?"

"No, you can't." The boy shook his head. He no longer smiled. "At least, not as you are."

"Why?" She scowled at him. "Because I'm missing my heart?"

The boy's eyes were solemn. "That is precisely why. An incomplete vessel exists only to be filled by whatever those around it choose to fill it with. Your time spent as a pawn has left you empty. You will accept _anything_, _do_ anything, as long as you believe it will rid you of your guilt and past failings."

Lightning did not like what he told her, though the twinge of unease in her heart reminded her it was true. "Tell me what I have to do, then, instead."

"It doesn't work like that," Lumina said. She strode into view, looking sidelong at her. "You have to _learn_, sis. If you can't figure it out, if you can't accept the past and yourself as you are, then you'll never fit in the new world. You'll just continue to be an incomplete vessel, running endlessly without purpose, into the void of the future."

Lightning shook her head. "This is _ridiculous_."

"You can't save everyone, and you can't go to the new world, not as you are." The boy tipped his head. "In turn, Serah would not be able to be revived. Her fate is bound to yours."

The buzzing around her grew a little louder. To her left appeared hazy images, like ghosts, of two pink-haired girls. Their voices and words were impossible to make out, the droning loud but unclear, and Serah, the smaller of the two, began to cry. The other girl lashed out, shouting something, before she turned her back and fled the room to leave Serah trying desperately to stop her own tears.

She could place that day easily, though she could not remember what had been said. It had been a few days after their mother passed and about a week before the funeral. She remembered shouting at her sister, then fleeing into her room and locking the door to cry into her pillow, grieving for the loving and beautiful mother who had been forever lost, for the simple but wonderful life that had been stolen away.

Shortly after, when the funeral ended and she realized that a future still stretched out ahead of them, empty of their mother's stabilizing love, she became Lightning.

"Why are you showing me this?" she said. "It means nothing. Those are mistakes of the past. They no longer matter. When I get to the new world, with Serah, I will have the chance to apologize then, and we'll be able to be together, just like old times." Whirling on Lumina, she extended a hand toward her, index finger held straight out. "You know something. Get me _out_ of here, _now_."

"That's not how it works." She shrugged. "If you can't put your own heart–"

"Irrelevant," she said, casting aside those concerns. "So what if I go on to the new world without it? Emotions are more often a crutch than a blessing, and I've become _very_ good at controlling them anyway. What matters is that Serah gets to be safe there, even if I don't get to be with her."

Lumina stared at her. "I saved you _both_ from melting into the chaos. Why won't _you_ save _me_?"

Lightning faltered, saying, "What?"

"You must tell Vanille to save us," the boy said, drawing her attention. "And you must escape to help those who are being hurt by Bhunivelze. For the sake of protecting them, if nothing else, will you ask for help?"

"Bhunivelze?" Her eyes widened. "What's going on?"

"He is starting his campaign to rid the world of the taint before it gets to his new one. He will do whatever is necessary to make _sure_ what saved Snow doesn't come after him." Lumina grinned, one hand resting on her chin. "Because, you see, that would be very _bad_."

Lightning said, "You _know_ what saved him, don't you? What was it? Why won't anyone tell me anything?"

"The dream will go on forever," the boy said, "unless you choose to end it."

"Then just _tell_ me what I need to do!"

Lumina laughed, long and loud, and swirled on her toes with her arms outstretched. "Wouldn't you like that! Oh, sis, you are just so _cute_! The demands you make sometimes, thinking that if you just shout and stomp your feet, things will get done! It's cute, like a little puppy! Or a _child_." Now she turned on Lightning again, her blue eyes wide and deep, all-seeing, cutting right into her.

Lightning stepped back, disturbed. "Get me out of here, _now_. Let me out so I can help them!"

Lumina's eyes brightened. "Sure thing, sis."

Startled by the sudden change, she stared, mouth agape. A whirlpool of darkness snatched her off her feet, tossing her into the air like a ragdoll. As she stared, the facsimile of Bodhum melted away into shadows.

Again came the darkness, but this time, it screamed, pouring into her head, enormous pressure against her skull that replaced her blood with fire. She opened her mouth to cry out from the pain, and the chaos flooded into it, plunging cold fingers down her spine and twisting her bowels into a knot. From all sides, it wrapped its claws around her limbs and began to pull, slowly prying her apart at her lowest level. Her chest grew tight. Everything hurt. Her head throbbed as the energy around her began to break her apart.

Into her mind flooded images, so many of them all at once that she felt her mind splintering. It reminded her of her time-gazing in Valhalla, but much faster and much more of it – faces she didn't know, places she had never seen, long-distant pasts when fal'Cie tilled the land, the face of Pulse scowling from his half-mask over his realm, the bright crystal of Bhunivelze piercing the ambient chaos even as its brilliance faded, images of futures that would never again be, of people and places long since burned away to ash.

When she tried again to cry out, the chaos even stole her voice away. Her body continued to come apart, fringes of her body floating off into the void. When she tried to tie herself back together, she could not grasp the filaments long enough before they slid out of her grip and into the shadows.

_No, this can't be happening_, she thought, but nothing she did even slowed down the dissolution of her self into the vast Sea of Chaos. She hoped Vanille would save her. She hoped _someone_ would tell Vanille that these people could still be saved, but she was the only one who could do it.

Then the chaos took even her thoughts away.

Memories flashed through her mind – images as hazy as the sun's corona, of being branded and chasing her sister away, of fighting on Valhalla's shores and the chaos pouring into the land, of Bhunivelze casting her aside and his cold green eyes judging her as she tried to breathe under the pain.

From deep within the darkness came Lumina's cackle, faraway, and into her mind, crushing everything else, flooded the image of Caius Ballad, laughing at her, choking her, impaling her on his evil sword, at the apex of his triumph, the chaos flooding about him and wrapping affectionately around his body as he called it into being.

The death of Etro, a knife in her heart. Her body turning to crystal.

Waking to the nightmare of Caius's cruelty.

And then, something finally happened. Long, powerful appendages enveloped her body; her form yanked itself back together as she felt someone recall it from the shadows. She felt her body, solid and real, retake form, cradled in arms as strong as steel but holding her as gently as if she were made of sugar glass, close against something not unpleasantly cool but very solid. Vertigo overwhelmed her; she cried out and heard someone answer, but the voice was muffled, as though she heard it from a vast distance.

_Hope, is that you_, she tried to say, yet, instinctively, knew it wasn't him.

The rush of wind and roaring of the chaos in her ears consumed her. Golden light and a flash of pure blue briefly appeared in her vision, and then her body righted itself. Time lurched forward. Gravity pulled her down onto a firm bed that felt soft and blazing hot against her exposed skin.

The arms that had held her slipped from around her body. Equally strong hands gripped her shoulders, and the voice came again, fierce and desperate.

Lightning could hear nothing except the roaring in her ears. Though aware of her body pinned to the ground, her heart seemed caught in freefall, and her head spun as though caught in a torrent. Still came the whispers in her head, over and over, _call out to Vanille and save us and save yourself_, and she clasped her hands around her head, willing them to leave her mind, but it was not her own, it would not obey.

The chaos soaked into every fiber of her being. She stood in a crowd, and no matter how she screamed, no one could free her from the prison pushing into infinity.

"Lightning! _Lightning_!" The hands gripped her tighter, and now they shook her as the owner repeated her name.

Gasping, she opened her eyes, but her vision sparkled.

Warm, lightly calloused skin brushed across the exposed inside of her upper arm before one of the hands left. Light pressure began in her head; something smooth and warm rested on her forehead. Feeling panicked, as though her body was not her own, she tried to claw, to push it away, but her hands jerked, not obeying the whims of her deeply confused mind. Fear clenched her stomach into a knot.

And just like that, her head cleared, and she opened her eyes, revealing to her clear blue skies. The scent of hot sand wafted into her nostrils as she breathed deep.

Whatever had been resting on her forehead moved away; she blinked at the shadow hovering over her and slowly made out familiar broad shoulders, long limbs, and dark eyes that peered down at her, heavy with concern. As her eyes adjusted, she realized the light was that of a sunrise and cast the man's features in a soft glow. His lips were firm and slightly twisted, worry drawing creases in his forehead.

For a moment, she just stared at him, struggling to regain control over her breathing. This time, when she moved her hand, it did precisely as she requested. She rested it on her chest, feeling her heart pounding against her ribs, and took a long, deep breath, steadying herself, clearing her mind.

"Lightning," the man said, his voice taut, but soft, "are you alright?"

She stared at him, trying to place where she had seen him before. In the depths of her heart, she _knew_ him, as well as she knew her beloved sister or dear friends, but could not place him. The memories were still coalescing.

"Lightning?" he said again.

Finally, the memories came, pushing the last vestiges of the chaos down into the depths of her mind. Blinking, she gazed with her mouth slightly open at Caius, and he gazed back, steadily, into her eyes. The silence stretched on, the Sea of Chaos lapping peacefully at the sand as it always had, the breeze blowing grit past her armor. Caius knelt at her side, while she lay on her back, the sand painfully hot against her skin.

"Uh... Caius?" she murmured.

Relief softened his gaze. "Yes. Yes, it is. Are you alright?"

"I'm..." She shook her head, dizzy. The worst effects of the chaos were gone, leaving her feeling as though she had just woken from a long sleep instead. His right hand still rested on her shoulder, thumb brushing across the exposed skin of that arm, but for the moment, she didn't really care about that tiny detail. "I think so." Rubbing her eyes, she groaned softly. "Where did I end up?"

"In the desert, now. I found you before you dissolved in the Sea."

Her hand dropped to her lap when the tone of his voice sunk in. Though she had heard such concern from him regarding Yeul, never had she heard it directed at her. _You're the Liberator_, she reminded herself. _Of course he's going to care if you live or die. You're fixing his mess_. But as she stared back, searching the depths of his dark eyes, even she could not ignore how hollow those thoughts sounded.

"Then," she said, "thank you."

He dipped his chin, and his eyes bored into her, cutting straight to her soul. Lightning stared back, fascinated by what she saw there. Though she could not put a name to the swirl of emotions in them, nor to the specifics of the storm always blazing in his heart, she could not deny that they existed.

With some reluctance, she looked away and sat up. He moved enough to get out of her way; she rubbed her eyes again, still trying to clear her head, but a wave of dizziness caused her to sag back the way she had come.

Something caught her. "Careful," he said.

Lightning realized he had locked an arm around her shoulders, holding her upright. His other hand perched on his knee; he waited, patient. Blinking against the brightness, eyes adjusting, she looked at him, nodding. His expression remained unreadable, but he removed his arm. She shook the sand out of her hair.

"Amazing," she said. "How do you _stand_ it in the chaos?"

He shrugged one shoulder. "When you have spent as much time around it as I have, you tend to develop the strength needed to avoid dissolution."

"So," she said, "what you're saying is, spend long enough in it, and you can avoid being swallowed up?"

He nodded. "Precisely."

This caused her to remember what the Speaker of the Chaos had said, and she hoisted herself to her feet. Again, she felt dizzy, but when she failed to right herself, body beginning to tip beyond her ability to control, Caius caught her again, taking her arm in a firm grip that kept her from toppling back onto the sand. For a moment, she wondered if she would be able to function during a fight.

"Lightning, you are shivering," he said, distressed. "Are you well?"

Hissing through her teeth, she smacked a hand against her temple a couple of times. The buzzing finally cleared. "I think so," she murmured, and looked at him with one eyebrow raised. "Stop worrying. I am _not_ Yeul."

His hand fell away. "Of that, I am well aware."

Days ago, he had spoken those same words to her when she had gone recklessly after a chaos beast. At the time, they had been stern and tinged with admiration. This time, the admiration remained, but the sternness was gone, his tone taut and threaded with some emotion she couldn't name. Again, she looked at him, searching his eyes, but though he stared back without wavering, their depths told her absolutely nothing she didn't already know.

Disappointed, she let those thoughts fade away.

"I met someone in the chaos," she said. "He claimed he represented everyone in it, and told me that Vanille can save them. He also told me Bhunivelze has begun his crusade."

Caius looked grim. "You confronted Hope, and Bhunivelze was the one who lashed out."

"That's exactly it." She frowned. "He threw me out of the Ark, Caius. I can't accumulate any more days, and I can't go back there to rest. He _also_ tried to take his power away from me, but the chaos clinging to my skin was enough of a barrier to prevent it." With a slight smirk, he added, "Hope implied it's because of you."

The breeze stirred his hair when he tipped his head, looking curiously at her, but he did not comment. "What sort of crusade did he mean, then?" he said. "What does Bhunivelze want?"

"I'm not totally sure yet. Need some time to sort it out." Shaking her head, she waved a hand. "But whatever it is, I do know it isn't good for us. Something about us being tools, right. Like that'll fly." She snorted. "We need to watch our backs down. He's out to get us – of that, I'm _sure_."

"What, then, will he try in order to stop us?"

She shrugged. "It doesn't even matter. The important thing is making sure the others don't get caught up in it."

"How many days are left?" he demanded.

"Well, this is Day Six, and I have accumulated ten days total, so..." She sucked in a breath. "Four. Only four, including this one. He told me I would have to fight to save the people now, that things wouldn't be easy for me anymore. I don't know what he's going to do, Caius, but it won't be good, and there's not much time left."

"I advised you not to–" He stopped, then sighed. "Alright. What then?"

Lightning turned and began to move as fast as she could up the sandy slope. They had ended up on the beach nearest to the train station, but it was still a long ways to the ruins. With Bhunivelze having turned against her, the chaos making her sick to her stomach, and the thought of possibly being taken in by it again, she did not dare risk trying to teleport, not until she became sure there would be no more incidents.

"I need to get to Ruffian and warn the others," she said. Strength seeped back into her as she clawed her way up the slope toward the top of the dunes. "He might try to off them first, since they were my friends. I think he still hopes he can entice me to come back, but I'm not going to do a thing like that if I can help it."

"That would be wise," he told her.

Lightning finally reached the top of the nearest dune and stopped to catch her breath. As she squinted against the rising sun, she saw the ancient lighthouse, bleached white as ivory by the sun, piercing the heavens. Very close to it, she knew, was Ruffian itself. As she started to move forward, though, she caught sight of a shadow, hard to see against the sunlight, circling over where she estimated Ruffian to be. She thought of Ereshkigal, of the energy sources in the desert Hope had warned her off, and had a horrible thought.

"Caius," she said, and whirled on him, "did you find Odin?"

The suddenness of her movement had not disturbed him one bit. Perhaps he was used to it. "I found an echo of him, yes, out in the Wildlands, but he is snared by the chaos. I had wished to take the time to free him, but getting to _you_ ended up being much more important than your Eidolon at the time."

_The Wildlands_. Then she would have to return there, but what to do about _now_? "I need to get to Ruffian. _Now_."

"I can clearly see why," he said. "Can you teleport there?"

She shook her head. "I can't risk it. The chaos is still too fresh, and I don't trust Bhunivelze not to try something when I do it. Without Odin, all I can do is run there." Hesitating, she looked back over her shoulder and tried not to consider the distance between herself and the ruins. Without another word, she turned that way and ran down the slope, skidding when her balance gave out, rolling into a valley when she landed too hard, then hopping back to her feet and taking off running again.

With the strength bestowed upon her, she could run for a long time before tiring. That did not concern her. What _did_ was that she could run no _faster_ than usual.

"What about _your_ Eidolon?" she demanded. "Do you still have _him_?"

Caius was beside her, matching her speed. Had he not needed to, she knew he could have easily overtaken her due to his much longer strides. "Bahamut is still alive, yes, but he is bound within the temple. Only if it were freed could he be capable of traveling with me beyond its borders. He cannot help us now."

They kicked up dust, grit, and sand behind them as they ran, slowed by dunes, gaining speed by sliding down the other side of them, ignoring any monsters and wild animals that tried to stop them, and if they got too close, one blast of powerful energy from either of them cleared the path. Ruffian, though, never seemed to get any closer, and she prayed desperately – to whoever or whatever would listen to her, perhaps something beyond the cruel gleam of Bhunivelze's light and the madness-inducing power of the chaos – that it was just a trick of her mind and reality was not actually stretching it further away, far beyond her reach.

* * *

_This came a little earlier than I expected because I wrote the chapter in only a couple of days and didn't have much editing to do. I'm also almost done with the next chapter, but I'll try not to update too soon, though if no one has any objections and I finish editing it, I might release it a little earlier than my usual once-a-week schedule. Anyway, please let me know what you think!_


	32. Dust to Dust

**_31 Dust to Dust_**

Vanille ran outside in time to see Fang and a bunch of bandits engaged in heated battle with the bellowing beast that raged through the sky. The bandits mostly had spears and staffs, but a couple had rifles and pelted the creature's hide with a hail of bullets. Sazh had joined in from atop a dune, pistols spewing bullets, while Noel combined his two blades into a javelin and brandished it whenever Ereshkigal's snapping jaws got too close. He did not seem keen on throwing it, however, keeping it close at his side, gleaming in the rising sunlight.

The sky had become bright blue; she jumped into the midst of the group and bumped immediately into Fang.

"'Bout time!" she said, by way of greeting. "Whaddya got?"

"I got a staff!" she shouted, and waved it.

Fang laughed. "Well, _that's_ been a long time for ya! Don't know how well _that'll_ work against a big flying beastie like this, but, uh..."

Electricity arced across the sky and caused the dune Sazh had been standing on to explode in a shower of grit and sand. Sazh shouted something and started running down the hill; the older woman just stared at him, beat-up lance hanging in a limp grip at her side.

"We'll _make_ it work," the redhead said, nodding quickly.

The brunette made a sound of acknowledgment, and then the crowd suddenly split apart as Ereshkigal charged right at them, wings spread, mouth agape, and a blast of hot fire ignited the already-smoking ground. Vanille choked on the heat; the sand became glass underfoot, most of it shattering when she moved. Smoke curled up from the ground, and she scrambled to get away from it, little yelps escaping her lips.

Stones, knocked loose from the blast, plummeted toward the ground. She gasped and ran aside just as a large one struck and sent glass shards flying into the air.

"This thing is _ticking me off_!" was Noel's shouted comment, nearly drown out by a roar. "How do you _kill_ it?"

"We _definitely_ need Lightning!" Sazh added to the commotion. "Where's that woman?"

"Can't just conjure her," Fang told him.

Ereshkigal dove, the wind of her passing nearly ripping them off their feet. As she climbed back into the sky, Vanille saw in horror that she had snatched one of the bandits, who screamed and struggled in her grip. The beast roared and opened her claws once she was a good distance away, and the bandit fell. The beast wheeled around and came back

Fang shouted, "_No_!"

Again, Ereshkigal made a pass, this time blasting a huge chunk out of the entrance. Rocks, glass, and grit exploded outward, showering the onlookers. The bandits wearing masks had little trouble making themselves scarce, but it caught everyone else in the cascade. Vanille felt it on her bare skin, leaving nicks and cuts all over it like some sort of canvas, and the concussive force knocked her flat on her back.

Fang landed hard as well with a sharp grunt.

She patted her ears, hearing them ringing, everything else having gone somewhat dull. Kicking up sand, she decided it would probably not be wise to stay where she was and began to run.

Another blast knocked her off her feet. This time, she felt consciousness slip away, the air knocked out of her lungs and vision going dark. The feeling of being tugged to her feet was what woke her again; moaning, she looked up into Sazh's face as he pulled her away from the fortress. She shook her head, regaining control over her body, and stumbled in the deep sand as she struggled to keep up with him.

"Gotta keep movin'," he said through gritted teeth. "Fang's shoutin' for us to get back from Ruffian."

Gasping, she looked over her shoulder, stumbling again as she did. The two blasts had opened up the front, piles of rock strewn about. Several bandits lay flat on their faces or twisted onto their sides. Fang ran up the hill behind them; Noel had climbed atop a nearby dune and took a potshot at the beast. His javelin sang through the air and hit with perfect accuracy, but the hard shell encasing the beast's abdomen caused it to bounce off and return to the ground, flopping there. Noel growled and went back down to retrieve it.

The battle became a mass of flying rocks, the javelin, bullets, and a lot of shouting. Ereshkigal shrugged off most of it, more interested in carving a swath into the fortress.

"She's blowing it up!" Vanille cried, and wrested herself out of Sazh's grip. "She's _destroying_ it!"

"Hold up, girl," he said, grabbing her shoulder now. "You can't do anything!"

"Gotta have a plan before we fling ourselves into the fray!" Fang said.

Vanille gasped. "We can't let this _happen_!"

"Got a better idea?" Fang demanded. Vanille said nothing.

They looked up at the sound of Noel's shout, in time to see him leap into the air and drive his javelin forward as an extension of his own body. It hooked into a gap between two plates of armor, and the beast screamed, but he hung on, hoisted into the air when it flew higher and did a barrel roll. To her shock, he used the chance to flip himself around and up, yanking the javelin free and digging it into the beast's back to hang on. Screaming and slinging her head back and forth, she tried to buck him off, but he hung on.

Vanille, in spite of the situation, raised her hands and cheered him on, impressed by his determination. Perhaps he was somewhat suicidal. Perhaps he had gone mad. But _failure_ was not an option for him.

Sazh made a sudden movement beside her; she looked in time to see Sazh abruptly turn his two pistols into a rifle with a long barrel and squeeze the trigger. The bullet impacted the creature's eye; a shower of orange blood spurted from the wound and spattered across the ground. The smell made her nose crinkle.

"Good _job_, Sazh!" Fang shouted.

Sazh looked pleased with himself as he aimed again. "Now the other one."

Ereshkigal slung her head, foam appearing around her bright white teeth. Blood and spittle darkened the sand that had not been scorched by her yet. Just as Sazh got set to take the shot, she suddenly dove aside and crashed right into a dune, back-first, obviously doing her best to scrape Noel off her back. To Vanille's shock, _he was still there_, hands still gripping the shaft of his javelin, but he looked dazed.

And then she realized something very important: she had been standing there, like some sort of dumb animal, and been doing absolutely nothing. "I can't just _sit_ here!" she shouted, and ran back into the fray. Fang made an irritated sound, but didn't bother to try stopping her, running back down the hill. When she tried to pass, Vanille growled and stuck out her staff. "_You_ are still recovering, old woman," she told her friend. "You shouldn't be going back!"

"I do what I want," Fang told her firmly, and smirked.

Vanille gave a strangled growl. "_I know_!"

Ereshkigal flew into the sky in an arc. Blood dripped from the wound in her back; she flew headfirst toward a dune, changing direction at the last second to slam herself into the sand. This time, when she flew away again, the javelin dangled precariously from her back, and Noel lay face-first on the sand, struggling to rise. Vanille changed direction midstride and ran right over to him, falling to her knees and grabbing his shoulders.

"Hey, hey! Noel! You okay?" She shook him.

He raised his head off the sand and gave her a dark look. "Peachy."

Roaring in apparent triumph, the mighty beast slung around to take another shot at the fortress. This time, she hit it at its apex, splitting open the ceiling. A geyser of grit and stone exploded into the sky. Horrified, Vanille sat frozen in shock at the sight of the ancient ruins being destroyed as though made of paper.

"What's the point?" the man beside her shouted. "What are you trying to do, just terrorize us?"

"Huh. Guess I didn't miss the party after all."

Vanille felt a flash of relief mingled with annoyance when she pivoted toward the voice.

Sure enough, there stood the rose-haired woman, well-dusted, chest heaving, but her eyes were clear and focused. At her side, looking just as dusty but not any worse for wear, stood Caius, but his eyes were up at the sky, fixed on the creature still trying to turn Ruffian into rubble. Vanille gritted her teeth and looked back at the mess. If no one did anything, the best they could hope for was a pile of rocks, but with these two, the Liberator and Destroyer, working side by side, they still stood a chance of surviving.

All she could do was count on Caius being honest in his claims to help Lightning.

"This should be fun," Lightning said, her voice cool and level. She lifted her sword off her back, readied her shield, and quickly sized up the creature. "Now or never. Let's kill it."

Noel climbed to his feet, then whirled on her, eyes blazing. "What took _you two_ so long?"

Lightning looked at him. "Later. Big story."

The younger man scuffed a foot on the sand, kicking up a wave, but seemed to catch her tone. "Alright. What do you suggest we do? Can you two brute-force your way through this one?"

The warrioress raised one eyebrow, then looked sidelong at Caius, who met her gaze. "Yeah. I think so."

* * *

The flow of battle was a familiar one, thrumming through her blood and batting aside even her dulled emotions. It gave her purpose, helped her move, helped her _think_. Though Valhalla had been an awful place of endless war, it had honed her skills, turned her into a fiercer fighter... and it had taught her Caius's rhythm, the way he moved, how he thought, how he reacted. Using that to her advantage, she met his eyes, and in an instant, an understanding passed between them. There was no need for words.

_Clear your mind. Move on instinct_. As if she would need to remind either of them of that advice. Caius had been raised on war. She herself had known little else. It was part of them, as much as the blood in their veins, shaping how they saw the world, how they greeted their futures.

Perhaps there was no one better to be at her side right then.

Leaping off the apex of the dune, she ignited the air around Ereshkigal, flash-burning her shell. When she twitched and screamed, the javelin dislodged and landed hard on the ground far below. Caius quickly followed her up with a sudden blast of purple-tinged shadows that seemed to rip apart her shell. Pieces of it exploded off her. She turned her one good eye to them, wings flapping madly, air rushing out in great pulses.

At least now it found them more interesting than the ruins.

Before she could formulate the next step of their plan, a lattice of chaos appeared around the creature's wings and pulled them tight to her body. She plummeted out of the sky hard enough to blast grit into the air. Bandits coughed and Vanille went scrambling away. Noel fidgeted, obviously wanting to run down and grab his javelin again, but seemed to know better than to do so.

Ereshkigal clawed her way out of the crater, beating her wings furiously, screaming. As she watched the creature rage, she thought of her steed again. Odin and Bahamut both had helped her in Valhalla against Caius, and either one would be tremendously helpful right then.

And then she remembered she had someone much more powerful than both of them combined with her.

"Caius," she said, "do you still have the ability to throw big rocks?"

He looked at her. "Are you referring to–"

"Meteors. Comets. Whatever you call them. Can you still do it?"

Both eyebrows went up in an unusual expression of surprise. "I... suppose I could," he said. "I generally refrain from using it, however. There is far too much collateral damage to risk it." He frowned at her, and she saw more than heard him heave a sigh. "Lightning, are you asking me to–"

Ereshkigal inhaled. Lightning grabbed his arm and yanked him backward, down the back side of the dune. With the other hand, she pulled on Noel's wrist. All three narrowly ducked a blast that covered the dune in a sheet of glass that cracked when she toppled forward onto her knees. Noel yelped.

Growing warm beneath her armor, heart rate beginning to increase as her senses tuned to battle, Lightning tugged on Caius's arm and looked him in the eye. "That thing is going to kill every one of us unless we get this done and end it quickly," she told him. "Now, _can you do it_?"

His expression was not amused. "Yes, Lightning, I can."

"Good. Who's faster of you two?"

Noel drew her gaze by tapping her shoulder. "I definitely am."

"Alright. I need you to be the bait." Facing him, she watched Ereshkigal sweep by overhead and begin to turn to come after her quarry again. "Noel, lead that thing away from the ruins. Get it as far out into the desert as you can. When the moment's right, Caius is going to decimate her. Should be enough, but be ready." As Noel nodded and scurried to his feet, running back up the hill, she shot back to her feet, swore under her breath, and scrambled aside just as Ereshkigal came back and opened her jaws.

The blast knocked her completely off her feet. For a few moments, she hung suspended in midair, dazed, before she realized what was happening. She tucked in time, but still hit the sand harder than expected, rolled and only came to a stop in a divot between two dunes. Sand dumped on top of her.

She felt Caius beside her and instantly raised a hand. He grasped it and pulled her to her feet; sand flew off her in a whirlwind of sparkling golden grains.

Noel dove down the slope toward the ruins, skidding more than actually running, and grabbed his javelin off the smoking ground as Ereshkigal turned a hairpin in midair and pursued him. Lightning watched as he ran out of the valley; steam rose from the oasis, some of the creature's attacks apparently having flash-boiled some of the water, and he used it as cover. The advantage of her missing an eye, leaving her with poor depth perception, quickly became obvious as Noel zigzagged and she failed to hit anywhere near him.

Lightning gave Caius a shove. "Get going," she told him.

Not needing to be told twice, he looked at her, a familiar gleam in his eyes and a smirk on his lips, and vanished in a flicker of shadow. Lightning charged to the top of the dune, ignoring her growing headache, and watched from her vantage point as Noel continued to run. When he disappeared from sight, she followed as quickly as she could along the crests of dunes, a hot breeze blowing into her face.

Noel ran faster than she had expected, easily clearing rocks and racing along dunes. Further out and up the slope he ran, out toward the dead shell of Atomos. Lightning followed closely.

Out in the open, surrounded by craggy cliffs, Noel finally stopped and pivoted in place to look up. Ereshkigal stopped and beat her wings furiously, hovering over him and screeching. Her chest expanded; Noel dodged the first couple of blasts, only to scurry back under her, forcing her to twist back and forth, trying to keep her bead on him. Lightning looked at the top of a cliff across from her to see a human-sized figure there, unmistakably Caius's, with one hand stretched to the sky.

She glanced up to see the chaos coalescing into an enormous sphere. Spines shot off in all directions and curved up, and a brilliant pink sigil surrounded it.

And then he brought his hand down in a cutting motion, and the comet plummeted out of the sky.

Noel had just enough time to scurry out of the impact zone, but Ereshkigal, too busy trying to kill him, had only enough to glance up and squeal in terror. The spiny rock slammed into her, ramming her into the ground. A visible wave of concussive force, tinged pink and gold, flashed out from the crater, tearing Noel off his feet and causing him to collapse on his face in the sand after being thrown through the air.

The sigil and the meteor both vanished, swirling into smoke. Caius reappeared on the ground beside Noel, kneeling as he had done with her; Lightning slid down into the valley, coughing from the sand and grit that had exploded into the air and now came drifting back down.

Noel moved his hands under him and pushed himself to his hands and knees. His movements were slow, ponderous, as though he had been injured, or was in shock.

Caius held out a hand after standing; Noel looked at him for a long moment. She had never seen him look so stern, so upset, and yet, behind it all, so miserable. It was true, then, what he had said – his hatred of his old friend could not ever be strong enough to wipe away the love he still had.

Expression darkening, he climbed to his feet without help and silently turned his back to the dark warrior.

Lightning watched Caius's expression, but nothing changed.

Lightning stayed back as the bandits came pouring into the valley. Caius moved away, walking back to her side and taking his place at her shoulder as he always did, standing and watching in silence. The fringes of his chaos felt very uneasy as they brushed across her heart, more so than usual, more tumultuous.

She looked sidelong at him, but he did not return her gaze.

Fang and the rest of the living bandits came into the valley and clustered around the corpse, commenting on how fine the meat was when she cut it open with her lance, on the toughness of the hide, the fine structure of the teeth, pointing and gesturing and arguing about how best to make use of it.

When someone mentioned eating it, she looked at the orange blood oozing from its wounds and said, "Are you sure that thing is actually edible?"

"We'll find out." Fang carefully sliced a piece of meat from the wing muscle and held it up, still dripping orange and hanging limply in her grip. Someone gagged. "I guess we could always give it to Caius and see if he dies or not." Long pause. "No? Fine, old-fashioned way it is." She tossed the meat on the ground. It landed with a wet _smack_.

Lightning sighed and said, "Where will you go, Fang?"

"Back to Ruffian," she said. "Yeah, it's messy right now, but we can rebuild. Maybe we can even make it better than it was. In either case, it's all we've ever really had." She plunged the bloodied end of her lance into the dusty ground and leaned on it, looking uncomfortable. "There's things that need to be done."

"Be careful," Lightning said. "Bhunivelze turned on us."

Silence fell over the assembly. Everyone who heard looked up and stared. Fang said, "What?"

"I confronted him about his plan for humanity, and he didn't appreciate it." Lightning shook her head. "He threw me into the Sea of Chaos after telling me I had a trial ahead of me, and that I would have to fight to save anyone now. I don't know what all he meant by it, but please, be _careful_."

Fang bared her teeth, raised her lance, and punched it into the ground again. "I _knew_ it," she growled.

"I have to keep moving. If Bhunivelze is on the move, then he could strike anywhere. For all we know, this could have been orchestrated by him as well."

"Probably was," a bandit she recognized – Adonis, that was his name – said from beside the corpse, and gestured at the creature's shell. Lightning scowled: Bhunivelze's crest, or at least one of them, the very same one stamped onto her breastplate, could clearly be seen, burned like a brand on the shell.

"Then that's it," she muttered, green eyes empty. "I'm... afraid to go back. I don't think I can bear the bodies."

"You can do this, Fang. You _have_ to."

"I know," she said sharply. "It's... it's just... like..."

Lightning let the silence hang between them for a few moments, thinking of all the soldiers she had coldly cut down during her crusade against the Sanctum so very long ago. Since Etro had shown her how much it saddened her to see life be taken away, she had stayed her hand from mortal blows wherever possible. The idea of bodies strewn, people dead in her wake, made her heart feel cold. No, the bandits' deaths hadn't been Fang's fault, but as their leader, it would be her job to burn the funeral pyres and somehow keep her people strong.

Fang herself _was_ strong, no doubt, but she had never had to lead like this before. She had never had to show a face of courage where it had been so dearly needed.

Could she do it now, when her temper needed most to be sealed away?

"Fang," she said, and stepped forward to set her hand on her old friend's shoulder, "this is the moment when they're going to need you the _most_. You can do this. You don't have a choice. You're their _leader_."

The other woman winced, but nodded. "I... I know."

"Then I leave you to it. I have to keep moving." Squeezing her shoulder, she let her hand slide away. When she turned, she saw Noel murmuring to Sazh, but he looked at her with cold eyes before moving away. She did her best to ignore it and walked right up to Sazh, saying, "Hey."

"Oh, Lightning." He smiled at her. "So, I heard what you said. Bhunivelze's got it out for you?"

"It was my own fault," she muttered. "I set him off."

"Nah, forget that part," he said, waving a hand. "We'll deal with it when the time comes. For now, best not to get too sidetracked, just like old times. Remember the Sanctum breathing down our necks?" The smile faded. "Yeah, yeah, they weren't as big and bad as this guy seems to be, but, whatever."

She gave a slow nod. "By the way, I found out that Dajh is still intact, but he's in the chaos."

"In the chaos?" Sazh's eyes widened. "But he's _alive_?"

"Well..." Her brow furrowed as she wondered how exactly to convey what the Speaker had told her. "Sort of. He hasn't dissolved away. Someone in there made that much clear. You see, Bhunivelze threw me into the Sea of Chaos, I guess as punishment for turning on him or something. Don't really know if he was trying to get rid of me, or trying to see how strong I was when being eaten up by the chaos."

"You were _in_ that stuff?" His tone carried a note of horror. "Oh, man, Lightning, I just... that must've been..."

"It was as bad as it sounds," she admitted. "I don't wanna talk about it."

"Ah," he said, "can't say I blame you."

"But I wanted to tell you your son is definitely fine," she said. "We also might have a chance of getting him out, as well as anyone else who hasn't dissolved away yet, but that's going to be up to Vanille. I'll need to talk to her about it, but later. Now is definitely not a good time to do it, and there's still some days left."

Sazh's eyes were focused on hers. "Be honest with me, girl," he said, "how _many_ days?"

He deserved her honesty. She said, "Four. Including this one."

His eyes closed; he dipped his chin.

"It's all going to be over soon," she said, partly to distract herself, "but if we're going to make it to the new world and do it properly, we might have to face Bhunivelze. He's taken Hope, but I _am_ going to try and reason with him first. I am _not_ going to draw my sword and fight him unless I have no other choice."

"Even if you have to fight, I think you'll be fine with _him_ at your side."

Without thinking, she glanced at her companion. "Think so?"

"_Know_ so," he said, his tone very firm. "No doubts. Both of you are super strong and real tough. I wouldn't be worried anyway with just you, but _him_ too? Hah!" A grin broke out across his features as he laughed. "The universe would be committing _suicide_ throwing anything at you two!"

She rubbed the back of her neck, warming beneath his praise. "Uh, well, thanks."

"Sure, sure," he said. "Where you going next?"

"The Wildlands. My steed – Odin – is out there somewhere, trapped in the chaos. We're going to free him."

"Odin? Wasn't he your Eidolon way back when? What's he doing here?"

She had forgotten she hadn't actually _told_ him – or anyone, really – that he was alive in this world. "Somehow, he came back as the Angel of Valhalla, a mythical white chocobo who appears at the end of the world," she said. "One of the harbingers of the Apocalypse is actually my most trusted ally."

Sazh blinked at her. "So, your big scary Eidolon came back as... a chocobo?"

She smiled. "And he's as cute as it sounds."

He chuckled; she heard Caius snort. "_Now_ I've heard everything," Sazh said.

Hearing him laugh and seeing him smile made her own spirits lift, in spite of herself. Sazh had always been the one to jest the most, even in the deepest depths of despair, and try to brighten the mood with the lamest jokes and puns he could come up with. While he had been chained down in his crashed airship, nothing could have done this for him – it had done him, and those around him, great good to be freed.

And now that he knew Dajh was still alive, and there stood a chance of rescuing him, she knew his spirits would stay lifted, and that nothing would faze him now.

"If Odin can come back," he said, sounding thoughtful, "maybe the others can, like Brynhildr."

"Maybe," she said, remembering Sazh's fiery and elegant Eidolon, but wasn't so sure. "If so, there may come a time when we need them, and especially her. She is a warrior of Valhalla, as strong as Odin. If anyone could help us, it would probably be her."

"Yeah. She was always a tough old girl."

That was an understatement, and it made her smile wider. "Anyway, I need to get going. Are you going to stay here and help?" At his nod, she smiled. "Good. Fang is going to need you to give her strength, I'm sure of it. She's tough, but even this might be a little much."

"Would be for anyone. Don't worry, Lightning, I got this. Since you and Caius saved me from my solitude, I am _not_ going to squander the hours I have left."

"Good," she said. "I leave you to your chosen path. I'll see if I can get a com network set up so we can communicate across the continents in the meantime. Good hunting." After glancing over at Noel, who seemed to be fixated on the corpse of the great beast, she turned and began trudging out of the valley.

Caius did not speak until they were well away from the ruins and the sun had risen higher in the sky, its hot light casting deep shadows across the dunes. Somewhat nervous beneath the open sky, she found herself keeping one eye on it while the scanned the horizon. They made good enough time as she was careful to avoid monsters, following the straightest path to the station near where Caius had dragged her back onto solid ground.

"Do you need to rest?" he said to her.

She shook her head. "Not yet. I feel fine."

He did not say anything further, and Lightning felt a strong desire, a _need_, to speak to him, _anything_ to occupy her mind. The horror of being torn apart at the atomic level still felt fresh in her mind, the memories making her feel cold all over, and the last thing she wanted was to let her mind wander. Sure, Caius had found her and dragged her out before she could be lost, but what if he hadn't?

"Talk to me," she demanded.

Caius grunted softly. "About what? Something on your mind?"

"Yeah." She shook her head, feeling her mental defenses cracking as she tried not to think of _what if_ he hadn't come to rescue her. What if he hadn't found her? What if she had been trapped there in the darkness, shredded into pieces of herself? What if she had still been _aware_ of it, screaming, but no one could hear her, until she had been wholly dissolved away, beyond all hope of rescue?

"Lightning?" Suddenly he was in front of her, gripping both shoulders in his hands, looking at her. "Are you well?"

She realized her breathing came in swift, shallow pants. "Fine."

"You are on the verge of panicking."

"I am–" Forcing herself to stop, she knew, deep down, he was right. She recognized the signs of an oncoming panic attack, though she had not experienced one for a very long time. Finally forcing herself to meet his eyes, she found herself staring in silence at his expression – no anger, no exasperation, but concern, so thick that she could not deny it and be truthful, and she realized it frightened her.

It was _wrong_, unbelievably _wrong_, for him to feel like this for her. Caius Ballad was a destroyer of worlds and lives, who had followed her and continued to do so out of concern for Yeul. Not for her. Not for _her_.

She was scared, and intrigued, and that only made it worse.

Her self-defense instincts kicked in; she forced him back with one hand, palm colliding with his breastplate hard enough to make him take a stumbling step back. She immediately turned away, taking a few deep breaths, clearing her mind. Even without her heart, she was still susceptible to strong emotion. It was muted, as though it came from someone else, but it still affected her. She didn't like it.

"Do you honestly believe your lies will go unnoticed?" he said.

It was the unexpected softness of his voice that nearly broke through her defenses. "I said I'm _fine_." The force behind her words lacked real emotion, but the meaning was clear all the same. She could not put the hammer of her heart behind it, the anger and hurt of too many years and too much happening too fast, but she could call upon a semblance of it and she directed it all at her bewildering companion.

"You were immersed in the chaos for far too long," he told her, firm as steel. "I may have banished the worst of it, but the effects will linger for some time. If you allow yourself to think–"

"I can't think about it, so I need you to talk to me."

A long, pregnant pause sat between them, and with a heavy sigh, she forced herself to look at him. At least his face was more interesting to look at than the dead sands below her, even with how they shimmered in the sun, and it kept her thoughts from wandering off again when it seemed like his eyes consumed her.

"Sorry," she muttered. "Forget I said anything."

To her mild frustration and puzzlement, his expression had gone unreadable once more. Could he so easily go from one extreme to the other, like flipping a switch? "Then you should focus your mind and your efforts on finding your Eidolon, Lightning. Do that, and your mind shall not wander back to what you endured."

"Yeah," she said. "We're almost to the station anyway."

A few more minutes of walking brought them down the hillside to the station, but only just in time to watch the train roll off down the tracks and into the distance. Lightning contained her spike of irritation and wandered into the shade to rest against one of the support pillars.

The station attendant looked at her. "Sorry, ma'am," he said, in a low voice that didn't match his white-blond hair and pale blue eyes. "The next one should be coming 'round in about half an hour."

She sighed. "Thanks, then," she said, and paid for two tickets.

Caius moved to stand near her, facing her with his back to the wall, but his eyes were elsewhere.

Feeling her mind start wandering back to her dip in the Sea, she forced it away and looked at him. How strange that it had become so _natural_ to find him there at her side, not too close but just close enough. When he left at the end of the world, it would truly feel strange to find him gone. "Maybe I _should_ try jumping there through the chaos."

Now his eyes found hers. "The chaos?"

She rubbed her neck. "To teleport, I have to jump to the Historia Crux. There's not much left now. It's rotting away and full of chaos, and it just seems to be getting worse each time I go, but it still works. The travel is just... turbulent. _Really_ turbulent." An involuntary shiver raced down her spine. "I'm worried about whether I'll have problems if I try again, since being thrown into the Sea."

"That is a valid concern. If you truly feel that way, do not attempt it. If you're lost, so is all hope."

"Maybe not," she said, thinking of Vanille.

He looked at her, curiosity coming to his eyes, but it faded fast. "I disagree."

"What does it matter to you? I am helping _other_ people be saved so they can go to the new world." She waved a hand at him and fixed her eyes on his. "_You_ have made it abundantly clear that not only can't you be saved, but you don't even _want_ to be. More than that, Yeul can't be saved, either. Even if you're here to ease her burdens, no one can ease _your_ pain. You don't have much _reason_ to be here."

"Lightning, we have been over this," he told her. "I prefer to be out here, making some sort of difference, than be in that–" His mouth closed suddenly, and his eyes flicked to the attendant.

Lightning understood his warning and looked away.

For half an hour, the heat grew ever further until she began to sweat profusely beneath her armor. Finally, the train rolled in, depositing three passengers, and she quickly climbed aboard. Caius followed her. The doors slid shut with a _snap_ behind them; conditioned air rolled over her and made her feel cold all over, but her relief at no longer being subject to the blazing rays made it worthwhile.

There were many passengers on this train, scattered all around, so she stood in the aisle at the back, grasping a loop dangling from the ceiling as the train lurched ahead.

Caius, not the least bit fazed by the swaying of the train, stood beside her.

She looked at him. "Is that _really_ the only reason you're staying here with me, to help Yeul's burdens and protect me, or are you here because you're being just a little selfish, too?"

He looked at her. "Not here," he told her coldly.

Lightning hid her frustration and turned to look away from the continent at the Sea of Chaos pouring off the edge of the world into an abyss of clouds. The world she knew was gone, replaced by a sphere of swirling white that led to some sort of singularity at the core no one could reach. Perhaps there _was_ a way to halt the progress of the world's decay for good, but even then, how to kickstart mankind's normal biological functions again? Even if they could stop the world from ending, there might not be a way to repopulate it.

And sooner or later, mankind would go extinct, relegated to the pages of some future civilization's history books, if one were to follow this one at all.

* * *

In the late hours of the evening, after the sun sank and much of the rubble had been cleared away from the front of Ruffian, the surviving bandits, their leader, Noel, Sazh, and Vanille stood in a semicircle over a patch of earth that had been freshly dug up, tilled, and then moved to cover the bodies hidden by the soil. All around them, torches flickering orange light provided the only illumination. It was a good distance from the ruins, near the corpse of Atomos – a fitting enough monument for a graveyard such as this.

Vanille stood close to her friend, Sazh on the far side, and Noel at her left. No one stood further in or out than any others, none more important than the next, all gazing at the soil. Soon, it would be bleached white by the sun and brushed by the winds, forgotten except by those who had worked to complete the procession.

Fang had already spoken the traditional words of mourning, remembered from the Oerban priests, and now she had nothing more to recite, just staring blankly down at extinguished lives hidden by soil. Vanille had not known these bandits very well, but she could recall their liveliness not so long ago, throwing glasses and dancing wildly in the front lobby, making a ruckus and loving it.

Her friend stood with one hand extended, her spear extended to its full length, held horizontally. She should have lowered it upon finishing the recitations, but she had not done so. She mourned, then, not only for those slaughtered by Ereshkigal, but for those still missing from the ruins near Titan's hand across the desert. The Order had come there, she had said, and they never discovered what happened to the lost bandits. Perhaps they had been kidnapped. Perhaps badly injured and thrown into pits. Or impaled on ceremonial swords, or their necks broken, or riddled with bullets by uncaring guards led by a fanatical priestess.

No one really wanted to know their final fates but Fang, who believed herself brave enough to take it, strong enough to bear the unique and heavy burden of leadership.

But Fang was not a natural-born leader. She could rage and charge headlong into the fray, bringing others whooping and hollering with her, but she could not stand without breaking, show no tears or weakness, when those around her so desperately needed her strength.

Yet she did her best, one of the lone betrayals being the way her spear shivered.

"It's possible Bhunivelze orchestrated their deaths by directing Ereshkigal to attack," she said, the long silence at last broken. "If that's the case, he's no friend of ours, and there's a good chance he might throw something else at us to see how many more he can kill." She looked as though she would say more, but she clenched her jaw and returned her spear to her back. Her voice wavered throughout those words.

A long silence fell once more. Vanille fiddled with her skirt.

"Dust to dust," Fang said, and turned away.

It took a moment for the others to realize she was leaving, and they slowly followed. A few lingered, mourners paying final respects to the lost before running to join the others. Noel stood among them, over the graves, hands at his sides and his dark eyes staring into nothingness.

Vanille started to leave him and the other mourners alone, but something kept her feet rooted to the spot. Sazh brought up the rear, but gave her a sidelong look as he passed her. Halfway past, he paused to rest a hand on her shoulder before nodding and moving away again. She stared after him until the shadows beyond the flickering torches swallowed him.

Two bandits, herself, and Noel remained. One of them, a young woman, knelt beside one of the graves further away with her hands pressed to the fresh-tilled soil, shoulders shaking as she cried. The other, a man, stared blankly at one of the others for a long time before turning and hurrying away.

When next she looked at Noel, he had lowered himself to his knees, grasping a handful of soil with one hand and an absent expression, and scattered it. "Dust to dust," he echoed.

Vanille folded her hands, thought a moment, then moved to kneel beside him, a chill in the air accompanying the warmth still lingering in the soil against her bare skin. For a long time, she stayed there in silence, long enough for the torches to grow a little weaker and the crying woman to dry her tears and leave. With the sound of some predator roaring in the distance underlining the quiet, she waited.

Noel laid his hands in his lap. "You know, in a way, this is all my fault."

She took a slow breath. "I know why you feel that way, Noel. Even if it really isn't all your fault, or there's no point in blaming yourself anymore, you can't help it." She traced a design in the dirt by her ankle. "It's not like you killed Caius on purpose, though. He trapped you, forced you. At least _you_ had the courage of trying to make a choice that didn't end with his death. Much braver than me."

"I've turned over the moment in my head thousands of times." He spoke as if she weren't even there. "If I only could have done this or that, none of this would've happened. I was so _stupid_, just standing there. I should have expected him to literally force my hand. But no, I was too young and too stupid."

Not for the first time, she wished she knew the whole story. All she really knew was that Noel had confronted Caius on the shores of Valhalla and been forced to kill him, but she didn't know what else surrounded that encounter. "I know how you feel, believe me, more than you know." When he still didn't look at her, spirits still low, she knitted her brow and touched his shoulder. "Noel, no matter how alone you feel, you're not, I promise. Keep your chin up, and things will be better. You'll see."

The man turned deep, troubled eyes on her. Startled by the feeling churning in them, she froze, staring back and finding herself unable to look away. Was this how she had looked to Sazh, trying so hard to face her impending death with a brave face, while inside she was breaking apart?

"I wish I could believe you, but... but what..." His eyes searched hers. "What about Yeul? If she can't leave, then there isn't a point in living. But she wouldn't want me to live alone, or die because I couldn't see her. _She_ would want me to live on. But I can't see a future _without_ her." His gaze fell. "I'm over five hundred years old, and I still haven't grown up. I'm such a disappointment."

Lean muscle and solid bone felt sturdy against her fingers when she squeezed his shoulder. "I know how you feel."

"An _adult_ would just keep going and be brave, but _me_..."

"Noel," she said, a little louder.

"But how... _how_... do they _do_ it? How did Serah go on? And Sazh? And... and what about... how could I _ever_..."

"Because," she murmured, "you're a lot stronger than you think."

His mouth closed, the line of his lips firm, and he cupped her face in one hand, smoothing his thumb over her cheek. The sensation left a prickle in its wake – a hint of fire that made her breath catch. Never before had she been touched in such a way... or _looked_ at in such a way, his eyes softening as he breathed her name. Against her will, her heart skipped a beat, and the feeling of his calloused skin against hers made her body tremble.

More out of shock than anything, she just sat there.

Then reality nipped at him as he yanked his hand back and scrambled to his feet, keeping his back to her. Vanille felt her skin heat up and tried to turn her focus to the hem of her skirt as she tugged on it with the tips of her fingers, but her mind kept turning over what had happened. In the dimming light of the torches, she saw his skin redden through the shadowy, thick tresses of his hair.

"Sorry," he said, voice gruff and taut. "It doesn't matter. I'm going to find her, my Yeul, and make it forever, no matter what. I won't give up." He breathed deep. "I can't."

"As well you shouldn't." So it had been an instant of weakness. She could live with that. "I know you'll do it."

For a moment, he met her eyes again, determination warring with fear, before he nodded. "Even if I only see her the one last time, I'll make it through." There was uncertainty in him as well, she saw. "I want to be with her forever, in the future. My heart belongs to her. No one else. I'm..." Pause. "...sorry."

"Don't," she said. "We all have our chosen futures."

"But we can only ever see one." He looked thoughtful, then said, "Let's head back."

The front of Ruffian had been blown away for the most part, but deeper sections were mostly intact. The work of clearing away stones would continue for some time, and the rebuilding process to the end of the world. At least when they returned to the others, there would still be somewhere to rest.

What had happened would not be easily forgotten by him, she knew – a moment of weakness, some slip he probably hadn't expected, one he wouldn't repeat, but would carry with him a while. He would blame himself, accuse himself of betraying his love, not accepting that it was just... one of those things, a product of grief, of exhaustion, of so much pain... and of the undying fear that his next meeting with Yeul would be their last.

Perhaps, just for a moment, he had seen some sort of future where Yeul had not gone with him, and recognized that he _could_ go on. Just... not necessarily with her.

Noel couldn't make up his mind, she saw, sadness touching her heart. He couldn't accept the idea of moving on, mostly out of guilt, and he couldn't accept that he might not be able to find Yeul in the new future as he had so long dreamed. Here he was, just being a normal man, wavering between acceptance and rebellion, and the push and pull of those sensations on his already unbalanced heart could drive him mad.

"Probably a good idea," she said, very gently. "You need to take it easy. You've had it rough, you know. That much is pretty plain to see," she added with a small smile.

He flinched and looked away again. "Yeah. Sorry about that."

"No sorries," she told him. "Dust yourself off and move on. Get some rest tonight, okay?"

Though his shoulders wouldn't straighten out, he gave her a nod and followed her back to the ruins.

* * *

_Big battle scene followed by mostly quiet dramatic scenes. Both narrative and emotional development is furthered in this one - this story, after all, was partly conceived out of my disappointment with how the cast was underused in canon. Anyway, four days left in the story, lots of new developments coming up, and hopefully it'll continue to be interesting. I appreciate all of you still coming here and reading and reviewing, and I hope you'll stick around to the very end. Anyway, hope you enjoyed!_


	33. Anxious Heart

_**32 Anxious Heart**_

Five hundred years ago – perhaps more, or maybe less, from the way time flowed in Valhalla – Lightning made a choice. She had knelt before Etro, in too much shock and too stricken with dismay to do anything else, and sworn her allegiance to the unseen entity. She had hoped, then, that it would pave the way to her ultimate atonement for being so foolish in her youth. Perhaps she had always known, somewhere in the back of her mind, that she would never see Serah again. That _something_ would happen, and pull them apart. And when she won her last battle, and lost the war, she went solemnly to the crystal, and slept.

If she had been allowed to keep her emotions, she would be angry, she knew. Angry at herself, mostly, but also at the world. At the unfairness of it all. And at Caius.

But instead, it roiled and burned at the fringes of feeling. She couldn't grasp it.

She had trouble focusing. A thousand thoughts and memories seemed to swirl through her head as she remembered the crippling fear of being dismantled deep inside the chaos. She remembered Bhunivelze in Hope's body, smiling at her as he pried away her power. The ambient chaos around her seemed amplified, rippling around her like a living thing, and she wondered how much of it was Yeul, and how much of it was natural.

The scenery outside the train flew by in streaks of color and darkness and light, but she could hardly focus on any of it. Everything inside her told her to distract herself, and yet–

The swaying of the train kept her attention to an extent, but it wasn't enough to keep her worries at bay.

And her mind felt as though it would eat her.

Trying to stave off her prickling feelings of frustration, she shut her eyes a few moments and focused on taking deep breaths. Clearing her mind again. The chaos would not win, not as long as she kept her wits about her. She would save everyone. She would free Hope from Bhunivelze's grasp, and Noel from his darkness. She would help Vanille with the people caught in the chaos, and lead everyone to a new world. Even if Bhunivelze had turned his back on her, still she would fight, and do the right thing. After all, she still had the power he had bestowed upon her, and she wasn't about to give it up, no matter how much anyone begged.

The noise of the train seemed to slowly fade away. She had begun to think clearly once more; grateful for the respite, she allowed her eyes to open once more.

There was no sound at all, no more motion of the train, and no one in sight. Her surroundings were unchanged, but instead of the scenery passing outside the windows, only a featureless white glow greeted her when she tried to look through them. The silence pushed against her ears; she shook her head and looked all around. The other passengers were gone; only the ubiquitous white glow greeted her.

She looked on either side of her, but even Caius had disappeared.

The next time she looked toward the back of the train, she spotted a petite figure, sitting atop the seats and swing her feet. The pink hair and black outfit were unmistakable, but she didn't look at Lightning, nor did she say anything. She only sat there, staring out at the void, as though she saw something fascinating there.

Lightning took a step, and her feet moved with no resistance.

A dream, or some parallel reality?

Slowly, cautiously, she made her way over to the girl, stopping a short distance away and leaning against the seat nearest to her. Though she stared at Lumina, the girl never made an indication that she noticed at all, still staring out at the void and swinging her feet. Except for the rustle of fabric when either of them moved, nothing else broke the powerful silence that seemed to pound her ears with its depth and strength.

"Lumina?" she said, voice loud in the quiet.

The girl's blue eyes shifted to hers. One pink eyebrow lifted. "Finally. We can talk."

"It couldn't wait?" she muttered. "You had to drag me here?"

She shrugged. "So, I am just _dying_ to know, what do you think of poor Noel? He's just suffering _so_ much because he doesn't know if he'll ever be able to see Yeul ever again. And then, what will Vanille think, knowing she's going to be responsible for saving all those poor people? And what about Yeul herself?"

"Did you come here just to tell me the same story _again_?"

"It seems that you keep forgetting, is all."

"How could I?" She snorted. "You don't ever let me forget. And what _is_ this place?"

"This? Oh, well, you see..." Now her eyes sparkled with mischief; Lightning took a hesitant step back, not liking the girl's expression. "It's... kind of like your heart. Here's the train – that little tiny piece of you that you still have – and outside is the rest of your heart!" She made a show of looking horrified. "Oh, _wait_, what is _that_? Oh, poor Lightning, the rest of your heart doesn't exist!"

"Are you trying to make a point?" she demanded. "Because you're being too cryptic for it to work."

Lumina clucked her tongue. "Okay, fine, I'll help a little this time." She leaned back and crossed one leg over the other, tucking her feet against the seat to hold herself upright. "The chaos is what makes us who we are. It gives us our individuality. _You_ are missing most of your heart, so that which makes you, you has been lost out in the chaos, drifting for ages. That includes Serah." She held up a finger when Lightning opened her mouth. "Hold on, not done yet. So! The chaos is surging into the void your heart left behind, since you've taken a nice dunk and now you're soaked in it. Bhunivelze can't do much about it, but it's part of his plan."

"What is his plan, Lumina? What does he want?"

"Remember that Etro's gone and she balanced the mortal world with the unseen world by keeping the chaos is check," she said. "She was responsible for a lot of stuff, and now she's dead." Lumina grinned, but it was a sinister and chilling grin that caused Lightning to take another step back.

"He wants me to take her place?" Her voice was small.

"Yep. He molded you into his Liberator, gave you lots of power, but kept you human enough that you can touch the chaos. I just don't think he expected you to be so affected by being dropped in it. He's just a kid, after all." She shrugged one shoulder. "But, whatever. It is what it is, right? Etro's gone. How can it be helped?"

"Gone," she said, "because of Caius."

Lumina nodded. "That man sure did cause a _lot_ of damage. Really, sis, _why_ are you still running with him?"

"Because I still need his help. And I distinctly remember _you_ suggesting it."

Her eyes widened. "Oh, so you can _trust_ me, right?"

Lightning felt cold and said nothing.

"And you can trust _him_, right?"

She kept her eyes on the girl's, but her focus wavered.

"How much damage has he done? What good has ultimately come from it? And what about you and your heart?"

"If I'm supposed to get my heart back, I'll get it back when I'm supposed to."

Lumina cocked her head. "Uh... right."

Lightning shook her head. "Whatever. This is all in my head, anyway, so I can just stop it when I want. So, I say to you." She scowled and waved a hand. "Get lost, and let me go back to work."

Lumina burst out laughing. Lightning, taken aback, simply stared at her with her most unamused expression, but the longer the girl sat there guffawing, the more nervous she became. When the girl clapped her hands together and finally dissolved into mere giggles, Lightning gripped the seat beside her and found herself glancing around in hopes that someone was there with her, but there was no one still.

"In your _head_? You kidding? _This_ is as real as anything you see day to day!"

Lightning growled. "I was on a train, traveling to the Wildlands to rescue my Eidolon, and suddenly, I was here. Nice try, Lumina, but I'm not playing your–"

"Sorry, sis, but not quite." The girl slid off the seat and went over to the door of the train. Without another word, she slid it open – easily, as though it had not been secured at all. As the door _clanked_ open, the endless void of white was what greeted her, its light pouring into the train and nearly blinding her. Lightning hissed and shook her head. The light felt very warm against her bits of exposed skin.

For a long time, neither spoke. Lightning wondered what the point of this was.

"You step out, you won't fall off into the Sea again." Lumina shrugged. "But, uh, you _might_ find yourself wandering around in a big void, you know? _But_ – lots of buts here – if you concentrate, you can bring it form. Go out there, and you might find some answers you _really_ need. Right now?" She snorted. "No answers for you."

"What's the point of this game?"

Lumina sighed and leaned against the wall. "You let your mind drift, so you ended up here."

She swallowed. "Am I still affected by the chaos?"

"Yeah. And you know what else?" Lumina's eyes seemed to sparkle. "Caius _can_ help you. He _can_ pull all of it out and keep you from suffering these episodes, but he won't do it. Maybe he just wants you to _think_ you still need him. Look, you won't be able to take on chaos beasts and such without him, but you don't have to. Just avoid them, and deal with Bhunivelze when the time comes."

Confused, she examined the girl for a long moment. Lumina had been particularly insistent on her bringing Caius along, and now she was changing her mind? Something here didn't feel right, and her skin crawled.

"And if I go out there," she murmured, "what exactly am I going to find?"

"Things that weird you out. Maybe some answers."

Lightning eyed her for a long moment, then stepped to the threshold of the door and leaned out, both hands holding either side of the frame. Nothing had changed. She could see the outside of the train, but not the tracks that held it suspended above the Sea, and there was no ground or any horizon to speak of whatsoever. Unnerved by the silent whiteness that greeted her, she found a sudden reluctance to go further. Perhaps she really _could_ conjure whatever she desired by stepping out... but what if she could not?

Musing over what the girl had said, she looked over at her, but Lumina only raised her eyebrows, a faint smirk on her lips, and did nothing else.

Why did all of this inevitably come back around to Caius? Noel had expressed the root cause of his anger, and it had been because of Caius. Etro could no longer maintain the balance of the world, because Caius had killed her. Yeul could not stop the flow of the chaos into the world, because of her love for Caius. Vanille had been willing to give up her life for the sake of the Order's lie, and it had been because of Caius unleashing the chaos. She herself had lost most of her heart, carved away by Bhunivelze, because she had to save Serah, who had died because of Caius.

Not for the first time, what she knew and what she had seen warred within her.

So many terrible things had happened because of him, and yet...

People had died, or suffered, and _yet_–

She felt better when he was beside her, knew he could save her when she could not do it herself, would follow her to the end of the world and _beyond_ if she asked it of him.

A chill settled in the pit of her stomach.

"I don't need anyone," she said sharply, to no one in particular, and squeezed the door frame harder than she meant to before pivoting to face the inside of the train. She moved away from the door. "I don't need Caius to help me, and I don't need anyone else to help me."

Lumina groaned. "Ugh, you don't _get_ it. _No_, you don't _need_ Caius, but you do _need_ other people with you."

"That's enough," Lightning snarled. "_Lies_."

"Serah, and Noel, and Fang, and Vanille, and Snow, they're all your _friends_, and they want to help–"

"Fine, then I'll talk to them," she said, "but I don't need anyone to help me."

"Really? You gonna live the rest of your life _alone_ then?"

"'Need' always generates weakness I can't have," Lightning snapped at her. "So, if that means living the rest of my life all by myself, then so _be_ it. Others _must_ come first."

Lumina looked angry – an unusual expression, she had to admit, one that made her take a step back. Though she doubted the girl could do anything to harm her directly, Lumina was in her element within the chaos. With a wave of the hand, she could conjure nightmares and break her mind all over again.

"Now who's lying?" she demanded. "Listen to yourself. You are so _eager_ to convince yourself with logic that you won't face your own deepest fears, even though you _know_ they're there."

Lightning sensed a rising bubble of panic, very distant, but unmistakable. "Don't patronize me, Lumina. I have–"

"You're afraid to face the reality that you're–"

Her mind finished the sentence, but her mouth said, "Stop it."

Lumina opened her mouth, but surprise crept into her eyes, and it slowly closed again. Her eyes drifted away from the woman to a spot beside her. Almost afraid to look, Lightning forced herself to do so, turning her body. Still the train was devoid of people or any other sound, but _now_–

"What is _he_ doing here?" the girl said, and her voice sounded colder than ice.

Lightning looked up into her companion's eyes and did not know what she could say. He had simply appeared out of thin air, as solid and real as herself, but though he gazed at her directly, she somehow knew he could not exactly _see_ her so much as he simply knew she was _there_. But it was no so much that knowledge as what she saw in his eyes – as vast as the cosmos, and dark with worry.

She didn't like the prickle of feeling that crept across her skin when she looked back. But there was no denying it.

"No," she murmured. "I don't need _anyone_."

"Not _him_, at least," Lumina told her, and scuffed her toe on the floor.

Was she actually still standing on the train, just as she had been before? Had Lumina lied to her? Was this actually all in her head, as she had suspected? But, if the girl lied to her about _that_, then what else? Had she lied about Caius, about needing his help, or had she been truthful in that she could not trust him fully, no matter what he said or what he did for her?

She had sent him away once before, and she knew he would go again if she asked.

_Don't send him away_, a voice whispered in her mind.

Confusion joined the cacophony inside her. She didn't know the right thing to do. To forget or move on from the fact that he had killed her sister and ruined so many lives felt like heresy, yet for the first time, she began to entertain the thought of doing exactly that. What would it feel like to be relieved of that burden, to release her negative feelings toward him and, dare she think, _forgive_ him of it?

"But..." Still staring, she flexed her fingers, "_is_ he as bad as you say?"

"Oh, _don't_ go there," the girl said. "You know better than anyone what the answer to _that_ is."

The image wavered; she frowned. "I wonder, though, every time... is it _worth_ it to stay angry at him? I mean, if I could feel all my emotions, should I still be holding on to my anger?"

"What, you gonna _forgive_ him?" Lumina mocked her, and laughed.

Lightning looked down at his chest before turning her shoulder to him. "I don't know," she admitted.

"Well," Lumina snapped, "you _can't_, not ever!"

She gasped softly in surprise as his image wavered like a distant mirage, and just before he vanished completely, she saw his expression become distraught and him reach out for her. She felt nothing, though, and heard nothing to break the silence. She sputtered out, "But–"

"After all the things he did? How can you even _dare_?" Lumina pointed an accusing finger at her.

Lightning faced her. "_You_ were the one–"  
"And you think you can trust _me_?" She giggled, then snapped her fingers.

The gravity in the train completely changed, pulling her sideways instead of down; she landed hard against what had been the wall, striking a seat in midair, causing her to wheeze briefly with pain. Gritting her teeth, vision blurring, she shook her head and tried to blink away the haze. Lumina still sat upright, swinging her legs, humming to herself, with a chilling gleam in her eyes.

"What was _that_?" Lightning demanded of her.

"You needing to learn some very difficult lessons. Oh, don't worry, I won't hurt you _too_ badly, or kill you. I just need to make sure you think a bit." Clapping her hands, she laughed, and Lightning was suddenly yanked sidelong and out the door of the train into the infinite whiteness beyond.

The train receded quickly into the distance; she quickly regained her calm, her breathing and the sound of clothing rustling or creaking being the only sound. Remembering Lumina's words, she forced herself to focus, trying to conjure images out of the featureless void. For a moment, her body and mind nearly succumbed to panic, but she drew herself back together and continued concentrating.

And then, out of the void appeared forms and shapes. Only then did she become aware of a muted roar, rather like she had heard in the facsimile of Bodhum, and saw what appeared to be... ghosts, surrounding her on all sides, but barely visible. Every one of them whispered, and at times, she could make out the occasional word.

"This is pointless," she growled. "Lumina, _where am I_?"

The girl did not appear, but her disembodied voice responded to Lightning's query. "Where do you think?"

"In these stupid mind games you're playing."

"Ugh, you're so unimaginative."

The ghosts floated in midair, mostly transparent, but the occasional voice came to her. Some of them she recognized, but others meant nothing more to her than the sound of wind stirring leaves. Keeping herself under control enough to focus, she tried to force her mind to surface again. Her _body_ was probably still standing on the train, but her mind had slipped away into the chaos because she hadn't been able to stay focused.

Then one of the ghosts began to take shape – _large_ shape – and as it took solid form, she stared with her mouth slightly open as her old friend appeared from the shadow.

"Odin?" she blurted.

Her Eidolon was there, appearing as he had before becoming the legendary white chocobo, expressionless eyes boring into her, and she sensed him speaking to her, mind-to-mind, as he had in the old days. Odin did not think in words she could understand, but communicate in feelings and "echoes" she could sense the meaning of and be able to communicate back to him in ways _he_ could understand.

_How are you here_, she began to wonder, but did not have much time to consider before he reached out for her.

"Show me," she demanded, and reached out in turn.

And like breaking open the surface of the water from below, the whiteness and the ghosts dissolved, and sunlight and a warm breeze took its place. But instead of ending up in the train, she collapsed instead on the dancing grass of a meadow the stretched into the distance on either side, and instead of Odin's Eidolon form, she instead saw him in his chocobo form, stamping his feet and trilling excitedly.

Scrambling to her feet, she said to him, "What's going on? What's all the–"

Was as much as she got out before something impacted the ground very close to her. A geyser of dirt and grass spewed into the air; she scrambled away from it and, once she was a sufficient distance away, she turned her head enough to see what had caused the disturbance.

Towering over her, making her feel very small indeed, was a beast that appeared to be made entirely of crystal and glowing with faint golden light. Clear blue eyes – many of them, in fact – peered from what she supposed was its head down at her, while slender legs held a body that glittered with rainbows high above the ground. Before she could process what exactly she was looking at, an icy blast catapulted her off her feet. She tucked in midair entirely on instinct and crashed down hard, but flipped back onto her feet and drew her sword.

Grooves left in the dirt betrayed her hard landing; she brandished her sword and stared up at the beast, wondering how she was going to take it down.

Then it turned and stamped a foot; she narrowly avoided being crushed by running to the side.

She blasted it with a bolt of energy, but all it did was exploded across the crystalline shell before the beast breathed an icy blast in her direction again. Again, she turned to run out of the way, throwing a few more blasts at it as she ran and wishing she had significantly more power than this.

Then something exploded in midair, making her head ring from the sheer volume of the blast, and she looked up and gasped to see the creature stumbled and fall to one side, though it did not hit the ground.

Lightning looked to see Caius suddenly appear in front of her.

"Ask me later if I'm fine!" she said as he opened his mouth. He looked momentarily surprised and irritated, but gave her a nod all the same and turned his attention back to the monster... just as it bellowed _far_ more loudly than she could have expected, causing her to grunt and recoil while covering her ears.

When it finished, Caius said, "Look at what it is doing!"

Lightning shook her head, clearing it, and looked around at the meadows of the Wildlands. It took a moment for her to realize that scorch marks covered the meadows, vegetation flash-burned away or melting ice having taken its place, while the ground had split not very far away. Odin drew her attention by squawking, pointing out that the split traveled across the entire meadow and vanished over the hill.

She felt her skin cool. "Is it... destroying the continent?"

"So it would seem." Her companion sounded grim. "This is no beast of chaos. It is formed out of crystal, but not the kind that comes from the chaos. It seems to be the work–" He suddenly ran from where he had been standing, grabbing her elbow as he passed and yanking her away from the blast zone as the beast turned the ground they had been standing on to molten lava that almost instantly hardened to stone.

"Bhunivelze," she finished for him. "So _this_ is what he meant. But why do _this_?"

Caius's eyes were hard when he looked at her. "If you must ask, you really do _not_ understand him at all."

She gritted her teeth. "Point. Suggestions?"

"It is made of crystal. There is no telling how– wait." Again, he ran, and this time, she followed. The beast bellowed out hot gases that seemed to scorch her exposed skin before stamping the ground again, multiple times, only a short distance behind her. Odin squawked and ran the opposite directions, dropping a downy feather in his wake. The beast bellowed again, making her head ache.

Lightning risked a glance behind her at the creature. It was tall, but not enormous, smaller than Titan of the old world and the mechanical soldiers such as Atlas. All the same, its body was held high above the ground on long, spindly legs that reminded her, dimly, of the chaos beasts they had fought against in days past. The only thing that really seemed to be missing were the tentacles, but she tried not to dwell on that.

"Caius," she said, "if you can bring it down onto its side again, I think I have an idea."

He looked at her, nodded, and raised a hand. In time with the movement came a blast of pink energy that exploded in a brilliant flower on the creature's hide. It screeched and fell sideways. Again, energy bloomed, and now it fell to the ground, legs buckling, hitting hard enough to shake the earth.

Lightning ran forward, narrowly avoiding legs and the snap of teeth, and tried driving her sword forward. To her pleasant surprise, it cracked open the crystal. Pieces showered around her, and she hung on even as the beast heaved itself back upright and she nearly lost her grip.

She struggled, but found no footholds on the slick-smooth hide.

With one hand, she made her own, peppering the hide with holes big enough for her to climb higher with. With some effort, she clambered higher until she stood atop its back, using her embedded sword to keep herself upright. She sent a shockwave down through her sword, briefly causing the crystal hide to distort with the burst, and it howled and shook itself quite violently. Only by digging in with her heels and clinging to the sword did she stay, but when it finished, her head was spinning.

When she was able to see straight again, she saw that Caius had appeared atop the beast as well, blasting craters in the hide. Pieces of crystal geysered into the air.

Lightning swung with all her might, hacking at a crack that formed from one of his blasts. The crystal split, bigger pieces flying all around her. Not sure what she was looking for just yet, she hacked at the newly-formed hole until the creature unexpectedly stood on its hind legs, bellowed, and thrashed in midair.

Her sword hooked into the hole, but did not stay put, and she slid back a few feet before Caius captured her wrist.

"Thanks," she managed to say, and clawed her way back up.

"We must find its weak point," he told her. "Even the chaos beasts had them. I suspect there is a crystal somewhere inside, but it may be very deep."

"I made a hole," she pointed out.

The creature shook itself like a dog; Lightning reached out for her companion and grabbed his hand before she could fall. He held on tightly, somehow maintaining a grip on the hole she had made until it stopped shaking itself. As soon as the moment passed, he heaved her back up next to him.

"It is not yet deep enough," he told her.

"Well, _make_ it deeper!" she almost shouted, just as the beast bellowed and belched out ice and snow.

Suddenly, the meadows were carpeted in frost, glittering under the sunlight. She could see from here that the earth had split open further from all the ruckus, and a gaping maw greeted her. Unease washed over her like a wave. It was breaking open the continent, she realized, trying to cause the Sea of Chaos to gush out onto the surface. It would hasten the end of the world, she knew.

Would there be more of these creatures to come, even if they felled this one?

The sound of cracking crystal interrupted her thoughts, and she looked to see Caius filling the hole she had made with a blaze of pink energy too bright to look directly at. When the air filled with tiny glittering crystals, she knew he had managed to break open the body of the beast, particularly so when cracks spread out from the hole like a spiderweb and shot down on either side of the creature's flanks.

The beast screamed and seemed to throw itself forward. For a moment, she hung suspended in midair, made a wild grab for her sword, before she was falling.

Her companion called out to her, his voice cutting through the noise like a razor, and he lunged for her.

Odin squawked far below, dodging stamping feet.

Trying not to dwell on the impending impact, she free-fell, air rushing past her ears and the beast screaming still, as if in agony, before she felt something encircle her waist and she was suddenly on the ground, the impact cushioned by a bubble of energy that almost instantly dissipated.

Lightning struggled to stand up from where she had fallen face-first onto the ground, aware of Caius having now moved to stand above her.

"This is ridiculous," she growled. "I'm too dependent on you. I can't do _anything_ without you."

"Not at all," he told her, very firmly. "You are simply too reckless."

She whirled on him. "After all the–"

The beast leaned down at them, snapping jaws missing both of them by a mere hair's length. Feeling the wind of its passing, she fell straight down and moved out of the way. Her sword had landed a short distance away; she pounced on it, then slashed at the head when it came close again. The edge cut into the crystal, splinters flying into the air. When it howled and recoiled, she pounced again, this time landing on its face and aiming for the eyes. Odin, still on the ground, peppered the eyes with bolts of energy while she hacked away. One of the eyes exploded in a shower of blue crystal shards, and it screamed in pain.

Using the momentum of it swinging its head up, she slung herself up and over to land on its neck, sliding down to the back and the hole gouged in it. Golden light shone from the opening.

Lightning called a bolt of electricity, filling the hole with a massive amount of energy. The _crack_ was deafening; she reeled from the noise, sparkles in her vision, but did it again, and again, over and over. Large chunks of crystal fell away and shattered across the ground, and the beast began to sway.

From the ground, pink energy split open the side with a mighty _crack_ that seemed to cut the universe in two.

Lightning leapt, following a strong instinct to _get off now_.

As she fell through the air, behind her, the beast crumbled into a pile of crystals, howling the entire time and tossing its head all about. A flare of golden light blinded her for a moment, an explosion ripped open the air, and soon the pile of crystals rested in a crater beneath the open sky. The concussive wave of energy actually affected her fall through the air, changing her trajectory just enough that she hit the ground harder than she had intended. With her vision dark and filled with specks of red, she toppled off her feet, rolled with it, tried to stand, swayed, and collapsed hard back onto the ground before the world finally went still.

Lightning lay there for a few moments before she could raise her head, blinking away the haze of pain. She eased herself to her feet and looked over at the pile of crystals.

Then her knees shivered, and she fell back to her hands and knees, groaning.

Odin trotted over to her side, gently nudging her shoulder with his beak, trilling near her ear. The sound seemed soothing to her; she settled back on her heels, taking the moment to rest, and stroked his forehead. He cooed to her and made no other movements. As she stared at the crystals, she spotted crystal dust on the breeze, sparkling as it rose into the air and the pile slowly began to fade away.

Caius came up to her left and knelt beside her; she looked at him to see him looking back at her.

She took a deep breath. "My head hurts," she muttered.

The skin around his eyes briefly tightened. "Are you alright otherwise? You were..." His brow furrowed. "...out for quite some time, as though your mind had left your body, and then you simply disappeared."

She thought of Lumina. "So, I _did_ leave the train?"

"Yes. You vanished. It took me a moment to locate you again."

Lightning heard the tightness of his voice and wondered why Lumina had been so insistent on sending him away, on not being able to trust him, on her not _needing_ him. Perhaps she would have been able to take down the crystal beast on her own, but it would have taken longer, and things may not have ended quite so well for her. Whatever Lumina had in mind for Caius, she somehow knew it had little to do with her own well-being.

"I ran into Lumina while I was out," she said.

Pause. "I see. What did she want?"

She rubbed a hand across her forehead and eyes. Odin made a trilling sound. "She demanded that I get rid of you, send you back to the temple. It's like she just _hates_ you, and I don't know why. But I don't trust her." She shook her head. "She bothered me _just_ to complain about you and try to make some sort of point."

The pause this time was longer. "Do you wish for me to leave?"

Surprised, she looked at him. "Why do you ask?"

Instead of speaking, he gazed at her.

Lightning curled and uncurled her fingers. "No, I don't. I think this battle just proved it. Sorry, Caius, but you're not going back to that temple until the chaos finally devours the whole world." She eased herself to her feet, and though she felt drawn taut, exhaustion seeping into her bones and her muscles tight and sore, she stayed standing without too much trouble this time. "Lumina is just going to have to deal with it."

"Was she not the one who suggested I come along?"

Lightning frowned. "Yeah, she saw, which is why I don't _get_ it. I even questioned her, but she just... dodged it."

"She may try again, Lightning, if that is her plan."

She snorted. "Let her try." Turning her back to the dissolving pile of crystals, she made her way to the top of a nearby hill, avoiding the crack in the earth, and surveyed the landscape.

The view was devastating. Grass had been replaced with ash, trees uprooted and tossed wildly about, pillars of ice melting slowly in the hot sun, smoke billowing in the distance. Canopus Farms, off in the distance, looked as though it had not taken the sudden appearance of the beast well at all – she spotted a tree, tossed through the air, having landed atop one of the buildings. It had crushed the structure on impact, buckling it to the ground.

At her sides, her hands became fists.

"Bhunivelze," she muttered, making it a curse. To think that she had bowed her head willingly to this false deity, that she had been willing to give her very heart and soul, to carry out his will, all because he had dangled the promise of Serah's return before her – an act that had turned out to be exactly that.

Reaching the farms only made the scene worse. The beast had laid waste to the surrounding area and part of the small village. The inn was mostly intact, as were a few residences, but the rest of it – even Sarala's field – had been torn up or blasted into craters. The worst part was the image of several bodies, some in hunting regalia and others in plain civilian clothes, littering the ground, and around them, the broken and twisted bodies of every chocobo that she had ever seen tied to a post or wandering freely in the village.

Odin gave a soft, pained cry, his head hanging, every feather drooping.

She continued forward, watching the survivors wander in a daze or break down into sobs over the bodies, but could not bring herself to wander into the ring of death and destruction and stopped some distance away. Doctor Gysahl had survived, but he stood over one of the chocobos, face in his hands, not moving. The innkeeper knelt beside a body of a hunter, shaky hands roving, and Sarala could be seen lying on the grass, eyes tight shut, one leg bloodied while a pair of hunters tended to her.

_How could you do something like this_? She looked at Odin, heart tight in her chest. "I'm so sorry," she said softly to him, reaching out a hand to brush across his feathers. "I wasn't able to save your friends. I couldn't get here in time to help anyone." Her hand closed around a group of feathers.

Odin cooed to her and nudged her shoulder with his beak, and she understood the gesture well enough.

The fringes of her companion's chaos felt wilder than normal, yet she felt it less obviously, turning her head to look over at him. Caius stood a good distance away, silhouetted against the clear blue skies, and did not look at her. His eyes were instead trained on the farms, hands at his sides and gathered into fists near his hips.

And as she stared at him, she realized something.

For all the pain she felt while gazing upon the state of the world, she had merely been unable to stop the juggernaut that had been her enemy in Valhalla, and it was not for lack of trying. She had blamed herself and slept away the centuries, then awakened to a world on the brink of destruction, trying to deduce the motives and feelings of those who had been living through those five hundred years. Without her heart, without the rest of her emotions, she could act as little more than a guilt-ridden observer, still aching from the loss of her sister.

But _Caius_ was an entirely different matter.

He had wrought the destruction of the world, and witnessed the consequences. He had torn open the gate between two very different universes, and regretted it. He had demonstrated his power, yet admitted to his pain. No matter how much she hurt, she doubted it could come close to the darkness in the Guardian's heart.

She did not understand him. Perhaps she never would. And she could not peel away the layers that hid his heart from her and shielded him from the world to see his truth.

But she could take his word and witness his actions, and she could glimpse who he was.

Caius was no threat to her. Nor was he to anyone else. He could no more cause destruction and pain to those around him now than she could drive a blade into her own sister's heart. He _would_ follow her to the end of the world out of his own form of guilt, _would_ do as she asked, _would_ help her and those around her to the best of his ability, and Lumina's words – and her own, from days ago – rang hollow in her ears.

_I don't have any murders to forgive_, she remembered telling Hope, and his calm rebuttal to those words.

She wasn't ready to forgive him. But perhaps, one day, she could.

She crossed the gap between them with slow, steady strides, reaching out and resting a hand on his upper arm. The armor felt rock-hard against her palm, even through the leather of her gloves, but Caius sensed her touch, his eyes traveling to hers, lingering. Though neither of them spoke, something passed between them – a silent understanding, perhaps, words that _couldn't_ be spoken, but were, somehow, all the same.

"This, too, is my fault," he murmured to her.

Lightning's chest tightened at the pain in his voice, and she sensed him coil up inside himself, cutting off her ability to feel the fringes of his heart, except for lingering echoes that brushed her own void. Was she too close to him? Was even his own heart bleeding into hers, filling the void left from Bhunivelze's cold logic?

"Don't go there," she told him. "None of that. You may have caused the events that led to this, but it won't help to go moping about it now. I need your head straight."

He frowned at her and looked away; she slid her hand further down his arm, grazing the inside of his elbow.

"I will be ready," he said, still without looking at her.

Reluctantly, she let her hand drop away. They stood there for a long time, the two warriors and the white chocobo, gazing at the destruction left in the wake of Bhunivelze's beast. As the sun crept toward the noon mark, she wondered what else Bhunivelze had in store. What would he be willing to unleash to test, to _punish_, his wayward Liberator? How many more lives would he take before he was satisfied? And how would she, even with Caius at her side, be able to save them all? _Could_ she save them all?

* * *

In the branches of a tree not too far from the trio, Lumina sat perfectly still, using the shadows cast by the branches and the leaves to hide from them if they happened to look her way. So far, they seemed much more interested in the destruction left behind by Bhunivelze's pet, but she wasn't about to take any chances. The time would come again when she would meet them face-to-face, but now wasn't exactly the best time.

All the same, she felt disappointed. Lightning had failed her. The Destroyer was still with her, and worse yet, she had touched him of her own volition, even letting it linger.

Things were about to get worse, and Lightning was still too foolish to make it easy on her.

"Whatever," she muttered, lips twisting into a semblance of a smirk. "Guess I can't count on you making the right choice. But that's okay. Playtime is still going."

* * *

_This chapter was probably the most difficult to get right so far, and I'm still not completely happy with it, but I'd kind of written myself into a corner in the last chapter and had to dig myself out somehow. Anyway, I think I finally dragged out the "Lightning doesn't know what to do with Caius" bit out long enough, so I can tell you that's been resolved. Now we have to deal with big threats that Bhunivelze throws out, and Lumina's right - playtime is still going, and things are going to get a lot more interesting..._


	34. Hue

_**33 Hue**_

Lightning and Caius spent a little over an hour helping Canopus Farms wherever possible, helping tend to the wounded or carry away debris, gathering up and burying bodies when the others could not spare the manpower, before Lightning expressed concern that crystal beasts would show up elsewhere in the world and decided to return to the train station.

Caius noted her unusual silence as they crossed the meadow, the way her eyes stayed on the ground when she walked, the way she squared her shoulders.

She did not look like a woman who wavered, or was afraid, or at all uncertain, and yet he could tell that this incident had struck her to the core.

The deaths of innocents was not something she had prepared for.

And not for the first time, he felt an instinct, buried for at least five hundred years, roiling in his heart. When Yeul became gravely upset by something, her first instinct had always been to come to him and take his hand, or wrap her arms around him, even if he did not always return it. The older they became, the less likely he was to respond in kind, but he did his best to soothe them.

He remembered the youngest ones, little more than toddlers, hugging them close and calming them as they shivered and curled up against him as their only source of comfort.

But he dismissed the thought each time it arose. The instinct to take Lightning in his arms, soothe her, to ease the tenseness in her bones, was a powerful one, but it could not overcome his willpower. While she was no longer an enemy, he knew she would reject his touch... and that it would be inappropriate. As comrades, rather than family or close friends, that was the simple reality.

Yet he could not merely dismiss her obvious discomfort.

"Where are we going, Lightning?" he asked of her, as they came within a few minutes' walk of the station.

"To Yusnaan," she said. "I want to check in on Snow, make sure he's okay."

"We must go through Luxerion to get there."

"I'm aware. And yeah, I fully expect Bhunivelze to have told the Order to watch out for me. Probably a price on my head, or some other big reward, for removing it from my shoulders." She shrugged. "Huh. Let them try."

"Are we going there now?"

"Yes." She glanced at him. "Got something on your mind?"

"You are on edge from the encounter with the beast, and the result of its rampage," he pointed out, ignoring the faint scowl that colored her features. "I do not need to remind you of why you cannot be allowed to fail. You should rest before we continue on to Yusnaan."

"_Or_, I could get to Yusnaan, check on Snow, _then_ rest," she said.

He stopped in his tracks; she went on a few more steps before noticing and coming back. "You will not, at least not without being reminded. Did you forget that you cannot go to the Ark to rest now?" When she openly scowled and her lips parted, he held up a hand. "I cannot make you do it, but I can _suggest_ that you rest."

"What, here, out in the open?" she demanded.

Caius raised both hands, palms to the sky, and tipped his head back. The sky overhead was blue, save for a few streaks of white cloud and the whiteness of the sunlight. The breeze was soft and warm, the air comfortably warm, and puffballs floated by on the breeze, oblivious to the destruction around them.

"Look around you," he said, looking at her. "Take in the sky, the grass, the wind. In a few days, you will never see this land again. Brand it on your memories."

Though she maintained the scowl for a few moments, it slowly fell away as her eyes moved from his to rove over the landscape. As he watched, her body began to relax. The breeze stirred her hair, making it shine a warm rose-gold hue, as she lifted her chin to look all around her.

"I... guess it _is_ kind of pretty," she said, very quietly. "But it's a waste of time."

He shook his head. "Not at all. To pause and allow one's mind to rest is hardly wasted time. With so little left to spend, you cannot obsess over every minute detail. You cannot know when next you will have the opportunity to be still and absorb the reality that surrounds you. Does it not beckon?"

Her eyes returned to his, and they were softer now. "I don't know that I should," she murmured.

"It is your decision." He held his hands out, fingers spread, an image of supplication. "I don't want you to ever think that I am forcing you into anything. I am merely encouraging you."

The corner of her lips twitched. "There's so much on my mind, Caius," she said. "Resting is... kind of foreign."

"Then I encourage you to let the breeze and sun clear it."

Her eyes remained on his, but she dipped her chin. "Maybe it... wouldn't hurt."

He suppressed his relief at hearing those words and seeing her turn away. Walking into the dappled shade of a tree, she sat down on the grass with her back against the trunk, legs loosely folded before her, resting her arms on her thighs. He hesitated before coming up beside her and lowering himself to the ground, careful to keep at least an arm's length of distance, but hardly able to make himself move further away.

_Be careful_, his wiser half whispered.

"This isn't so bad," he heard her murmur. "It feels nice to just _sit_."

"I am glad you agreed to it," he said.

For a while, she sat and stared into the distance, worry lines still keeping her features tense. The breeze stirred her hair again, rose-gold highlights shining; he let his gaze rove over her, clearing his mind of all else, trying to keep it focused on his surroundings.

Suddenly, she met his eyes. "Something you want to say?"

Looking away would make him appear guilty, so he held his ground instead. "Nothing at the moment." He tipped his head. "Well, did Lumina tell you anything else of interest?"

"A few things." She studied him for a moment before looking down at her hands. "She seemed to think the chaos is going to affect me for a while, and that..." Her eyes flicked up to meet his before sinking again. "And... that you _could_ get the rest of it out of me." She hesitated. "I don't think she wanted me to tell you that."

A spike of anger, directed at Lumina, touched his heart. "If I could, Lightning, I would have, but it is beyond my ability to do so. It will dissipate on its own, however."

"Really? And how long will _that_ take?"

"I would say the rest of the day and a good night's rest," he said. "I perceive you will need it."

A hand gripped the grass at her side and tugged hard on it.

Caius watched her fingers for a moment. "Something else is on your mind," he said sternly to her, making it clear she could not hide herself from his perception. "Will you tell me what it is?"

The grass came out by the roots. "No," she said.

Unfortunately, he couldn't argue. "As you wish," he said, and sighed.

They sat in silence for a few minutes. Lightning said nothing for a long enough time that he had to look over at her and watch carefully to make sure she was even breathing. Her eyes closed, she rested her head against the tree behind her, the breeze stirring her hair, fingers clenching around the grass she had torn from the earth beside her. He waited patiently, glad he could not see the temple spires from this spot, and worked on keeping his thoughts under control instead, trying not let his mind drift to any of the thousand things that prickled in his mind, trying to keep his eyes from roving over her and appreciating her beauty.

It was only centuries of sheer willpower that keep him stone-faced. He had _always_ perceived her beauty, even back when they warred on Valhalla's timeless shores. He had _always_ known it existed, as he had known and perceived the beauty of countless other women throughout his too-long lifetime. Yet he had successfully ignored it, as he had all the others, and see her only as an obstacle to be overcome.

But here, the real danger of leaving the protective shell of the temple was laid bare. Here, there were no barriers to his eyes and no filter of hostility to see her through.

She was simply Lightning, terribly young and very old at the same time, the Liberator who would fix what mistakes she could that he had caused and bring the people he had hurt to a new world. And she was a _woman_, mortal, nearly as strong as himself yet just as capable of death as any other woman in this cursed world, and he could see her as such very clearly now – could see her sky-blue eyes and the way her hair shone in the sunlight, her determined gaze and quick, graceful movements in battle. Were she not so reckless, she would not have skirted so close to death and injury as many times as she had, and he hoped she could resolve that.

_Careful_, his mind warned him again, and the only way he could keep his thoughts from wandering further was by dragging them back and sealing them behind a steel trap.

He treaded too close to dangerous ground now, teetering on the edge of falling into an abyss he had never known for himself, but knew the existence and depth of merely from watching others, and he knew he would not be able to claw his way out again if he made the mistake of moving too close to the edge. He knew his own heart well, and exposing it to such a dangerous line of thought would be a final torment.

But perhaps it was something he deserved.

Caius turned and climbed to his feet, moving a few steps away and trying to focus on the hills in the distance, battling back his thoughts when they tried to surface and filling his mind with static, forcing himself to regather his focus and pretend it was like hiding his true feelings from Yeul all over again.

"Hey," Lightning said; he heard her get up. "Caius?"

"It is nothing," he said, too sharply.

Lightning heaved a sigh. "It wouldn't be fair for me to pry if I won't let you do the same," she said. "I feel good enough to keep moving. Come on, I've had enough of this continent to last a lifetime, and I'm hoping we won't have to come back here for a while." He heard the grass rustle as she turned away.

He hesitated before dutifully turning as well and following close on her heels, keeping his eyes averted, reminding himself of the eternity to come.

It would be bad enough without losing the last bit of control he had over his heart.

* * *

Yusnaan's climate was mostly dry and hot throughout most of the year, with a bit of cooling rain sprinkled throughout, and the winter months bringing even more rain in torrents for a few hours here and there. The land itself was mostly dead rock and sand. Few things would grow unless encouraged by the locals. Even the palm trees that sprung out of the ground were quite hardy, and no good for anything except a bit of shade. The palace had been built open to allow the evening breezes to sweep through, with a sloping roof to deflect the harshest rains. The gardens had to be maintained multiple times a day – left alone for too long, and things began to shrivel and die. It was a constant battle, but the resulting beauty paid off.

While maintenance worked on fixing the glass window he had shattered, Snow spent his time wandering around the palace, seeing it with new eyes. His heart still felt heavy, but not as though it were being dragged down into the depths of a vast ocean anymore. Instead, it was weighed down with the knowledge of Serah's fate, though he no longer felt as though he gazed into a maw of darkness when he thought of her. There was still a pang of guilt and the feeling of grief twisting his gut, but it didn't feel like death.

And he never wanted to repeat the experience of becoming a Cie'th again. _Ever_.

He rubbed at the arm with the white brand, not for the first time wondering how such a thing happened. All of their brands had turned pure white before they had faced Orphan for the last time, proof that they had defied their Focus and given themselves a new one, something beyond even the fal'Cie themselves. Lightning had mentioned that Etro had sealed Fang's brand; he didn't know the story behind it, but he could guess, from his limited knowledge of the timeline, that it had something to do with stopping her assault on Cocoon.

It didn't itch, or burn, or really feel like anything, but he still felt it somehow, and reached under his sleeve to rub at the skin all the same. He still had his power, but the brand no longer progressed.

With Etro gone, who, then, had done it?

"Snow?" a woman's voice called to him; he grunted and looked up to see Cora, dressed in her uniform.

"Cora," he said, and nodded. "Got something for me?"

"We finished the sweep of the palace," she said. "Nothing out of the ordinary to be found. Do you want to reopen the gates for visitors, or should we keep them locked?"

"Nah, reopen them," he said. "I'm done hiding up here and cringing like a coward. If Lightning comes back with Caius, tell your guards to don't even ask, just let them in. Same goes for anyone else who used to be part of my old crew." He flexed the fingers of his left hand. "Hey, Cora, check this out," he added, and pulled up his sleeve. "See what happened to my brand?"

She examined it, eyebrows going up. "Aren't they supposed to be black?"

"Yeah, and something sealed it." He tugged the sleeve back down. "I've still got all my power, but I won't be in danger of becoming a Cie'th again. It's a really weird situation." He ran a hand through his hair. "I'm trying to think of something to _do_ today. Do I have any patronly duties lined up?"

The corner of her lips twitched. "I'm just a captain, sir. I don't do administration."

"Yeah, yeah, I know." He looked up at the window. It was nearly finished being put back together – the maintenance crew didn't have much else to do and almost seemed grateful for the opportunity to do some difficult work.

Cora cleared her throat. "I heard that Serah will be returning."

Snow felt a warm glow envelop his heart. "Yeah, so I've heard, straight from Lightning herself. I just..." Taking a deep breath, he let it out as slowly as he could. "I can hardly believe it. Knowing she's going to be coming back is just... it's a... nothing short of a _miracle_." Bringing his hands together, he interlocked his fingers and bowed his head, trying to calm himself. Thinking of the love of his life returning made his heart beat faster and his mind fill with senseless buzzing. "I'm still... I don't think it's really sunk in yet."

She shifted her weight. "It is good to hear," she told him. "I just wanted to congratulate you in person."

He hesitated, hearing a snag in her voice, and looked at her. Her face was a perfect mask of serenity, and he could not ignore the fact that she was tall, strong, and beautiful. To his eyes, not nearly as beautiful as his dear Serah, but a woman who could catch a man's gaze without meaning to – and, knowing her professional demeanor despite her unease at facing him in the dark not long ago, she never meant to.

He also recognized that she seemed to care for him, that she stood closer to him than the other captains and could recall her checking in on him even when everyone else had left him alone. Though she had grown increasingly nervous as his brand progressed and his attitude worsened, she had never given up on him.

And now, with Serah's return, she would have to.

"Cora," he murmured, "you know there's no rules against fraternization, right?"

He saw her brow twitch and admired her ability to stay otherwise completely professional. "Yes," she said, "but the palace guards generally aren't interested in each other, or the staff, or anything. I've never seen it become a problem that I or any of the other captains have to deal with."

"Then why didn't you ever say or do anything about me?" he said, tone firm and leaving no room for her to wriggle out of it. He noticed her flinch slightly and felt a twinge of guilt.

"Your heart belongs to Serah. It always has," she said. "It would have been wrong for me to try."

Her confession made his admiration for her grow. "That's... very... very thoughtful of you, captain," he said, and gave her a bow of the head. "In your position, I might've tried anyway. But what you _did_ do for me, in hindsight... I didn't appreciate it then, but I do now. Thank you."

She nodded, but her eyes seemed anxious. "If you don't mind, I must continue my rounds."

"Of course, sure." He waved a hand. "Dismissed."

She saluted him and turned on her heel as was proper. Snow watched her go, wondering how many others like her there were in the world – people in love with those had lost their own, who could be faced with the reality of a lost loved one reappearing in the new world after having already found someone else, or who had moved on and would now find that they would have someone waiting for them they thought they had lost after having taken the time to shed the pain and heartache.

Could a heart take the strain of such a love, of losing and regaining? Could it take the difficulty of ripping open old wounds in such a fashion?

Snow shook those thoughts away and looked around at the grand hall instead. Pieces of crystal were still scattered across the floor, and the crater of his landing was still present. Such cleanup would take much longer, and it would be pointless to patch up the floor when he suspected the end of the world could now be measured in mere days rather than weeks. He did not know how much longer it would be now – he would need to ask Lightning the next time he saw her – but he doubted it was too much longer than a week or so.

There was something twisting up his gut with anxiety that whispered to him that he wasn't far off the mark.

And what of the reports of a massive crystal beast ripping up the Wildlands?

Snow patted at the brand again, wishing he could call upon the Shiva Sisters to help if the time came that he would need their power again. If one of those crystal beasts came here to Yusnaan and terrorized the populace, he might have enough power to fight back... but what if he didn't? What if his l'Cie abilities, amplified as they were by the chaos around him, were not enough to stop the onslaught?

And what, more importantly, could have summoned such a beast to this realm?

He looked quickly around and spotted another captain in the corner of the room, talking to several guards, and he hurried over. When the guard turned to him and saluted, he returned it, then said, "Captain, get the word out. Keep an eye out for intruders and beasts spawned out of the chaos."

"I heard the report from the Wildlands, sir," the captain said, frowning. "Worried it might come here?"

"I'd count on it happening," Snow said. "Let me know if _anything_ changes."

"Yes, sir," the captain said, saluting again.

Snow nodded and turned away, but could not quiet his mind. Not wanting to return to the unfriendly shadows in his quarters and unsure of what else to do, he instead ascended the stairs to the grand balcony that looped around the ballroom and stood beside one of the open windows. It allowed him to look out over the city from a vantage point nearly as high as the gulls that circled the palace's apex and be reminded of how many lives depended on him to keep the city safe from the dangers of the dying world.

He rubbed at his brand again.

It might not be actively descending toward his oblivion anymore, but his Focus had not changed. He had been tasked with protecting the city and its last remaining, uncorrupted fal'Cie. If that meant going head-to-head with a crystal beast, or _far_ worse, then so be it. Perhaps he still had access to his Eidolith, though Etro's death meant they could no longer be actively reached, but maybe he would find out in the heat of battle.

Probably the worst place to find out, actually, but the heat of battle was when he had first found Nix and Styria. It was fitting, then, if they returned when he needed them most.

Despite his worries, he felt the corner of his lips lift.

An ancient prophecy asserted that the end of the world would be preceded by a final, great battle. The forces of two worlds would collide and rend the earth, and both armies would break open the sky. No doubt at least some of it was embellished, as the poets of the past seemed to enjoy putting ornate touches on tragedy, but it was likely still going to happen, and what better way to end than with a bang, as the saying went?

And then, after this, he would settle down. No more dashing heroics or monster hunting. No more fighting wars and odds they couldn't fathom. It would just be him, Serah, and their family, maybe in a quiet home in the country, not too far from some big city with all the highlights.

First, though, they would just have to get through _this_. And they would, somehow, no matter the odds.

They had, after all, defied the odds before.

* * *

The train rolled into Luxerion's South Station nearly an hour later, as the sun moved into its afternoon arc. Lightning disembarked in a line of other passengers, knowing she stood out but trying to keep a sense of anonymity, the slow-lengthening shadows of the afternoon light softening the edges of the city's gray, dreary architecture. With Caius close behind her, she moved away from the station, nodding to the attendant as she passed, and moved to the edge of the pathway that overlooked the fountain in the square below. Watching the water sparkle as it flew through the air and splashed into the pool below, she closed her hands around the rail and leaned on it.

Right now, the area bustled, people scurrying about and a crowd of people standing off to the right, surrounding a girl who couldn't be much older than thirteen, a guard too busy eyeing the passerby to be interested in her off to the left, and a gull wheeling in the sky and squawking.

The railing was made of elegantly-twisted iron; she gripped it in both hands, feeling the rough texture even through her gloves, and let the surrounding ambience seep into her.

She could hear many things when she really stopped to listen to it. The dull roar of the crowd's chatter reached her, the sound of feet on the porous ground, the girl's voice mingling with the crowd that surrounded her, the water in the fountain, the gull, the distant _thump_ of the Sea's waves striking the rocks.

It took her a moment to realize Caius was close beside her, maybe a forearm's length away, leaning on his elbow with his hands loosely folded, looking out over the plaza.

She studied him for a moment, knowing that she had made a decision she could not go back on. She hadn't told him to stay out of the heat of the moment. Lumina wasn't telling her the whole truth, that much she knew for certain, and all she was left with, instead, was what she knew of Caius... and what she knew of him consisted of two distinct persons: a world-destroying terror, unstoppable in his goals, who laughed in her face and wanted nothing more than to tear her apart, and this man here, quieter but with a raging heart, whom she could not understand no matter how much she tried to learn the language he spoke.

The two halves warred within her mind, and the quiet one who wanted to help her, to protect her, had begun to win out, slowly subjugating the other and banishing him from her mind.

She did not need his protection, she told herself, each time her mind wandered. And she did not need his help, she knew beyond all doubts. He was right – had she not been so reckless, she might not have ended up getting as injured as she had, or brushed up so close to death as she had done.

And yet, here he would stay, with her, until she needed him no more – not that she _needed_ him at all, she reminded herself, as those thoughts crept through her mind.

She moved to rest on her elbows, silently accepting her new future. All this time, she had tried to pry herself away from Caius's influence, trying to keep him at arm's length – or further, when possible – but now she understood that if she was going to survive Bhunivelze's trials, or emerge without terrible injuries, she would need to have him at her side (just so she didn't need to watch her back so intently). Without Hope to give her gentle words, to be her companion, Caius would have to stand in for him, for now.

Though she wished to break the silence, she could think of nothing else she wanted to say. When Caius said he could not remove the rest of the chaos, she believed him. Though Lumina had seemed sincere enough, she could not make herself believe the girl's words. If she had lied about that, what else had she lied about?

Seemingly of its own accord, her mouth opened, lips forming words. "It's nice," she admitted, and let her eyes rove over the fountain again, enjoying its sparkling, splashing beauty.

"The fountain is a pleasant touch," he agreed. He spoke just loudly enough for her to hear, but it cut through the din as though he were the only other person there, and it did not set her ill at ease. Rather, she found it pleasant to hear him speak quietly, gently, to her, rather than raging and cursing her.

"We need to keep moving," she muttered, but said it while still staring intently at the fountain.

He shifted at her side. "So soon?" he said.

Feeling her lips twitch, she looked up at him and shrugged. "I mean, we _have_ to move _eventually_. Can't just stand here and take in the sights all day. Though, really, I wouldn't be bothered too much by the prospect," she added, a note of solemnity drifting unintentionally into her voice. One day, when this was all over, it would just be her and Serah, together again like old times, and then she could relax. Then she could think about a future that didn't involve war and death. _Then_ she could see the future as a bright one.

"Perhaps we can when we reach Yusnaan," he said, tilting his head slightly. "I seem to recall it being a beautiful city. Have you had the chance to take in the nightlife?"

She sighed. "No. I remember it being pretty at night. Maybe it'd be nice to watch the fireworks. But..." She shook her head. "I only have four days left, Caius. _Four days_ before the world crumbles into oblivion. I can't waste that time sightseeing. I'll waste enough as it is just getting some sleep at night."

When she allowed her head to droop below her shoulders, she felt his hand come to rest on her shoulder. "So you waste an hour or two enjoying the time you have left," he said quietly to her. "Time is precious, yes, but it does not hurt to just... waste a little of it on small things in life."

She lifted her gaze again to his, searching his eyes as he looked at her. "But you're _ancient_, Caius. You are old enough to have seen the stars change position in the sky. I'm sure you've done all these 'small things' that you speak of, or am I wrong? Why would you encourage me to do the same when you know how it turns out?"

"My duties have always superseded my desires," he said. "Even my decision to flood the world with chaos came as a result of my duties. I have never appreciated time itself."

His hand still rested on her shoulder, but she felt no need to dislodge it, mulling over his words. "Well..."

The line of his mouth softened. "It won't hurt."

Taking a deep breath and letting it out as slowly as she could, she decided she believed him. "I used to go to the fireworks festival in Bodhum, but I never really, you know, _enjoyed_ it," she said. Raising the arm he rested his hand on, she let her hand land on his upper arm, squeezing the armor there. "You're right, it _won't_ hurt. Serah usually has to force me into these things, so it can't hurt to _choose_ to do it."

His features tightened. "Don't think I am forcing you into it," he said, "because I am not."

"No, of course you're not," she said, giving his arm a gentle shake. "I can say 'no' whenever I please, and you know I will, so relax. Just stick with me, help me, and we'll be able to face anything Bhunivelze throws at us. Got it?"

"And what of Lumina encouraging you to send me away?"

She snorted. "Forget about her. I do what I please, and she can't make me do anything. Yeah, I admit I thought about it, but I decided it's for the best that you stay. As far as I'm concerned, you can stay right here with me until the final day comes and goes, when you don't have a choice anymore."

The tenseness vanished from his features. "Ah. Thank you for making that clear, Lightning."

"Sure," she said, and released him. At the same time, he let go of her shoulder. "Now, let's get moving. Need to get to the North Station so we can catch the next train out."

"It may be best to follow the seaside path," he said. "That will keep us away from the crowds."

"And most of the guards," she finished for him, nodding. "Good plan." She hesitated, looking over in the direction of the girl. The crowd had mostly dispersed, leaving a couple of people standing near her. To her surprise, the girl had streaks of tears down both cheeks and was just dabbing them away with a tissue provided by one of the patrons, but she did not seem upset, eyes clear and mouth now smiling gently.

Lightning frowned, but descended the stairs on the left side to the plaza and crossed, melding with the crowd where she could. Once away from the plaza, she slowed to a more leisurely pace.

Together, they crossed the clock plaza, carefully avoiding the guards, timing their passes for when they were not looking their direction, and kept as far from the gates of the cathedral as possible. Not to her surprise, the gates were shut up and locked, and most of the interior appeared dark except for the most basic lighting. Guards were posted near them, but they did not look across the street, or they didn't care.

Eventually, they reached the seaside path, and she began to breathe easier. The guard normally posted at the head of the path was missing, which she found odd, but began the crossing.

"I want to check up on Snow, make sure everything's okay with him," she said. "After that, I want to see if anyone needs help in the city. I haven't spent a lot of time checking up on the citizens there. I haven't decided if I want to spend the evening there, or in the desert just yet."

"You will know soon enough," he told her. "Of that I am sure."

As they crossed, she let her mind drift to the pounding of the waves below, grateful that it drowned out its attempts to go wandering off into the chaos again. It reminded her of home during Cocoon's periodic storms, when the sea would stir and strike the rocks, spraying high into the air. The facsimile of Bodhum that she had been dragged into while drifting in the Sea of Chaos had reminded her of times long past. Of happier days.

Those _had_ been happier days. She just hadn't appreciated them.

Shaking her head, she squared her shoulders and quickened her pace. She could lament on lost hours and ill-spent days later, once they were through this mess. When she stood on the surface of the new world with Serah and all the people she loved and cared about, _then_ she could reminisce.

At the other end of the causeway, the normally-posted guard was also missing.

Lightning stopped, feeling her skin crawl. "Both guards are missing," she said. "We made our way easy here, too."

"A valid concern," he said.

She slowed as she approached the edge of the North Station plaza, having cut through the older section of the city already, where there were no guards at all. It was not much further to freedom – Snow would welcome them, she knew, unless something terrible had happened to change his mind – but something held her back. The sense of unease that had come over her deepened. Something wasn't right.

When she stopped, Caius stopped beside her. He said nothing, instead exchanging a look with her that clearly said he understood her concerns very well.

Ready to reach for her sword, she walked into the plaza.

There was no one else in the plaza except for shopkeepers, and all of them kept their eyes averted from her. Not able to see the entire plaza at first as she emerged, she did catch movement in her peripheral vision and placed a hand on the grip of her sword, fully prepared to pull it free. When she turned her head, she caught a glimpse of white robes, a flash of sunlight on steel, and fell into a ready stance.

The impact came quite suddenly, causing her to stumble to the side, a sharp pain lancing from her ribs and shooting into her skull. Gasping sharply from the pain, she reacted, slamming the flat of her sword into her attacker. He fell into a heap with a sharp grunt, armor clanking.

As she turned to check her surroundings, Caius knocked another guard off his feet with a flick of the wrist, bringing him down hard enough to knock the wind out of him.

Catching a flicker of white, she faced it, sword at the ready, saying loudly, "Stop there!"

Caius, standing with his back to hers, remained in a ready stance, but did not move, though his eyes were fierce and focused on the guards that had been approaching but now wisely stayed back.

"What do you want?" she demanded.

The robed Order members – one in which, displaying her status as a high-ranking anointed member, and several in charcoal gray, lower-ranked acolytes – stood some distance away with no visible weapons. Remembering Vashti and her power gifted by Bhunivelze, Lightning did not lower her sword, not taking any chances.

"You are the Liberator, are you not?" the white-robed woman said. Her face was ashen, mouth pulled tight, and her eyes were blazing. "You betrayed us all!"

"Hardly," Lightning said. "_Bhunivelze_ betrayed us. I am the one getting us out of this mess."

More movement in her peripheral vision alerted her to the arrival of more palace guards – a dozen or more, she guessed, fanning out to encircle them. She stifled a chuckle. Unless they had great power, they would not be able to put a scratch on either of them. Whoever she didn't smash into the ground, Caius would be more than capable of tossing about like rag dolls. It was amusing.

"Bhunivelze has come to us in a new and blessed form," she said. "He warns us of the false shepherd who will lead his people from the truth, that his chosen warrior has betrayed him, wrapping herself in the chaos instead of his own blessed, cleansing light! He instructed us to bring you back, or to kill you!"

Lightning sighed. "I figured," she muttered. "Look, I'll cut you a deal: all of you walk away, right now, leave me be, and every one of you gets out alive and unharmed."

"As if we'd trust you, after what _you_ did," the woman said. "Bhunivelze promised you a chance. Come back with us now, reaffirm your belief in him, and all will be well."

"Bhunivelze is a liar and a thief," she snarled. "He plans to strip away our free will and enslave us in the new world, using us as tools to do his bidding. I don't know what else he has planned yet, but if he thinks he's going to get away with turning us into nice little slaves, he's wrong. I plan to keep us human and able to make our own decisions, and that means no longer being his precious little Liberator."

"You _lie_ through your _teeth_!" The woman looked mad, her movements more animated now. "Bhunivelze loves us as his children! He only wants the best–"

"The _only_ one who ever cared is Etro," she cut her off. "Why don't you _believe_ me?"

Flickers of movement all around caused her to realize that every guard in the vicinity had raised their rifles to point at the two of them. Caius did not look concern, and his heart was calm. She, too, felt no concerns. If they wanted to fight, they were going to end up hurting.

"That was your final chance," the woman shouted. "Kill her!"

As the last word faded away, every rifle went off at once with a _crack_. Lightning moved to deflect the bullets, but she found them all suspended in midair, locked in place, before she could do more than twitch; Caius stood with one hand raised slightly, and pink energy could be seen wavering around the bullets. The faint black haze of chaos could also be seen, enveloping the pink energy.

"That... that is the power of the chaos." The woman had turned white as her robes. "The Destroyer stands with you. Bhunivelze was... he was _right_. You have... you..." Knees trembling, she stumbled back, and the acolytes around her went with her, their eyes wide with terror.

If only for the pleasure of knowing she had shaken this woman, and everyone else standing around her, to the core, Lightning felt very pleased that Caius stood with her now. When he reversed the bullets and sent them flying back into the guards, sending most of them staggering, she smirked and leapt forward with all the speed and strength she had. Diving into the midst of the madness, she swung both her fist and the flat of her blade around, crashing against armor hard enough to crack it and knocking the wearers down.

Someone fired a rifle, but the bullet never reached her – it _pinged_ off a metal sign instead, and the guard yelped as Caius unleashed a wave of energy, cracking the stone on impact.

All too soon, the guards lay in heaps around her, most of them stunned or knocked out, others groaning in pain, and the white-robed woman and her acolytes had turned to run. Lightning ran to intercept them, leaping over the bodies strewn across the ground, and cut them off. Shrieking in terror, they scattered like leaves, but Caius stopped them with a barrier of invisible energy. The woman froze in place, looking terrified enough that Lightning would not be the least bit surprised if she simply crumbled apart.

The acolytes, on the other hand, needed no other encouragement, shrinking back.

Lightning came up to them, stepping through the invisible barrier with no resistance. "Did Bhunivelze put a price on my head, too, or are you just wanting to kill us out of principle?" she said, keeping the sword at her side and angled down, but also careful to keep it in clear view.

The woman shivered from head to toe, but she managed to get out, "Others will pick a price. You _have_ to die."

Lightning leaned in. "Bhunivelze wants to _enslave_ us," she said, voice level and low. "He will stop at nothing now that I've uncovered his plan for humanity, though I don't yet know the full extent. If you bow, that just means he'll take you with no resistance. Have you heard what comes out of your mouth? You already sound like automatons, lacking any will of your own. He's already halfway there."

The woman opened her mouth, but nothing came out except a few soft croaks.

Lightning leaned closer, eyes fixed on the other woman's. "You saw what happens when you come after me. I won't kill any of you, but it'll hurt. The end of the world is _very_ near. You have _four days_, including today. Do you _really_ want to bet your very soul on whether Bhunivelze is being truthful?"

The woman's eyes widened further. "F... f... _four_?"

"Yeah. So what's it gonna be?"

She opened her mouth again, but her eyes fell, filling with uncertainty.

"Food for thought," she murmured, and stepped back. When she looked at the acolytes, they averted their eyes, shivering, and made no other movements. Not perceiving them as a threat, Lightning returned her sword to her back and began striding back toward the train station. Caius released them.

"Is it wise to leave them alive?" he murmured.

"If they have even a shadow of a doubt," she said, "then it's enough. At least now I know for sure I'm not welcome here in Luxerion anymore." She frowned. "I wonder what Bhunivelze will do now."

"Whatever it is, nothing good," Caius muttered. "I may not have ever known of Bhunivelze personally, but I knew of his spawn, Pulse and Lindzei. If he was able to mold such cruelty into forms such as those, such callousness, and if the fal'Cie are reflections, then he is capable of much worse. The Wildlands will probably die next, and the temple will be all that is left standing in that area, in a sea of chaos."

She gritted her teeth, not liking the image he painted, but knowing it was a strong possibility. As they reached the platform, she said, "Any guesses on what else he could be up to?"

"Knowing a single beast wasn't enough to stop you means he will probably send more. I would expect more beasts to come, more eruptions from the chaos, more of his followers trying to skin you..." Taking a breath, he looked into her eyes. "I will watch your back if you can slow your pace, and try not to die."

The distant rumble of the train came to her. An attendant stood in the corner, wide-eyed, but came up despite visibly shaking ever harder the closer he came.

"Things _are_ going to get a lot more interesting," she muttered. "He wants me to replace Etro."

Caius frowned. "Is that so? Did he tell you this?"

"Lumina did. I believe her."

He made a thoughtful sound in his throat. "Interesting. No need, though – Yeul and I can replace her. All you should focus on is saving your friends and the people of this world, and ensuring you escape death." The train came within view; he clasped his hands behind his back. "You needn't worry."

Lightning approached the attendant carefully, paying for their tickets, allowing him to step back before she turned away again.

"If you're right," she murmured, "and things _are_ going to get worse, then pretty soon, I'll have plenty of things to worry about. If what you're saying is true, Bhunivelze is going to throw _everything_ he's got at might, and it might not all be monsters." Flexing the fingers of her right hand, she watched the train roll into the station. "And I still have to figure out how I'm going to rescue Hope." She chuckled dryly. "Should be fun."

* * *

_Sorry about the wait on this one, folks. I ran headlong into a roadblock... anyway, enjoy, and let me know what you think!_


	35. The Shadow Cracks

**_34 The Shadow Cracks_**

On the half-hour-long train ride to Yusnaan, Lightning thought. She did nothing else, not even speak, not even to the man standing next to her as though tethered to her, though neither did he do anything else besides stand and gaze out the window at the passing scenery, either. Keeping her mind on various topics, rather than letting it slip away again, was more difficult than she had expected, but she kept her balance. When the threads of her mind slid toward the dark again, she struggled to drag them back, and succeeded.

They arrived at the station to an early afternoon sun and a town that slept through the hottest hours. With hardly anyone on the streets, she had no trouble walking into the market area, where most of the shops had been closed up for the midday hours and there was no one in sight.

She kept mulling over what Caius had told her – his calm, straightforward acceptance of what Bhunivelze had told her she needed to become, and how willingly he had shifted the burden to himself and Yeul instead. She had been too unsettled to comment at the time, but now, she wondered. Perhaps, over the five centuries that had elapsed, he had simply had the time to think about all of this already. Perhaps he had been prepared to take on the responsibility, or had known only he and Yeul could do it, for decades.

And it had come as a bit of a shock. She had not yet had time to fully absorb Lumina's assurance that she was destined to replace Etro, and Caius calmly taking that burden from her made her wonder.

Was that simply part of his responsibility to her, or was something else at play?

Yet again, she wished she could peel back the layers that hid his heart from her... but she would be a hypocrite to try again, she knew now. If her own heart was so buried, and had been for so long, that Bhunivelze had easily snipped it away – and if she had indeed done it to herself, as Lumina liked to imply – then attempting to dig into a heart just as heavily shielded would be ridiculous. If she did not want to reveal herself, then she had no right to make him do it.

"You seem thoughtful, Lightning."

She blinked and looked at him, squinting slightly from the brightness of the haze around them. "I was thinking about what you said, about replacing Etro," she admitted.

His hair shimmered and armor glinted in the sun when he shifted his weight, changing his stance, and she noted his shoulders became more rigid in the process. "There is nothing to think about," he said. "Do you remember when I told you I would become the chaos's overseer? Even then, I knew what would become of us. There is no need for _you_ to be anywhere but with your family."

"But..." Her brow furrowed. "If he's shaping me to be so powerful, and he carved away my emotions, too, then what else can I be _but_ the replacement for Etro? What else am I good for?"

Caius snorted. "Listen to yourself. Do you despise yourself so much that you cannot see a future?"

Surprised at his accusation, she opened her mouth to retort, only to find she could say nothing at all. Somewhere deep inside, his words had struck a sensitive nerve. Long ago, after her final battle with him, a Yeul of the chaos had accused her of causing the world's doom and her sister's death, and as she had drifted aimlessly through the Historia Crux, trapped with her own thoughts, she had come to agree.

And those thoughts had followed her into this world, anchored to her mind.

If she'd still had her heart, she doubted she would be able to stand the weight of her failures.

"Not the case," she told him, but aware it came out defensive. He would know the truth. "I _can_ see a future, but others always come first, especially my sister. If that means becoming th–"

"I am a living example of why that is not always a good thing."

Lightning was left with her mouth halfway open, staring at him, as he finished. He looked hard at her for a few moments before turning his back and staring off into the distance. She closed her mouth, gazing at his back and the inscription on his armor. She didn't know anyone more enigmatic than Caius Ballad, and she doubted, even in the new world, that she ever would.

"Let's go to the palace," she murmured. "I want to make sure Snow's okay."

He looked over his shoulder at her. "Lead."

Not letting her puzzlement reach her features, she moved past him and followed the stairs. The only people she saw now were ones seated at the cafe on the ground level and one person seated on the balcony in the Banquet of the Lord high overhead. As they wandered down the mostly deserted street, she did occasionally see people, but they either kept to the shadows or could be seen sleeping. Most shops down here were closed up as well.

She enjoyed the quiet, finding it relaxing.

They passed the statue of Cactuar and were entering Fountain Plaza when she became aware of a woman's agitated voice by the fountain. She slowed and tipped her head, finally locating the woman – a tall, slender, brown-haired woman dressed in a flattering sundress, arguing actively with what appeared to be a stage hand. Lightning came closer, trying to make out what she was saying, but moved slowly.

"–where he is," the woman was saying. "How long have we been looking for him? _How long_?"

The stage hand, however, did not look the least bit concerned about the woman's demands. "Yusnaan is not a very big city," he told her. "If he was _here_, we would _know_, wouldn't we? At worst, he went to some other city, but from what I understand, there's no way he'd leave you."

"We _have_ to find him, you idiot! I can't sing without him! My muse has escaped me! He wrote all my best songs, and I just can't _bear_ to be without my beautiful music or his poetic words?"

"Ma'am, I'm a little busy right now. I'll get... back to you." The stage hand turned and walked off while the woman continued chirping at his back, before she seemed to give up, stamping a foot and grinding her heel into the ground, then whirling to face the fountain and folding her arms.

Sensing the kind of person this was, Lightning approached cautiously. "Ma'am? Did you lose someone?"

She turned her head. "Only the other half of my very existence. Without him, I just can't sing! My heart misses him so, and he also happened to run off with all my best music! He is such a–"

"Slow down," she cut in, "and tell me what's going on."

The woman looked miffed at being interrupted, but thankfully didn't waste her breath on it. "My name is Olga," she said, "and I lost my lover, Berdie. He ran off some time ago, just up and left. He used to write my music for me, all my best songs, and without him, I can't perform! I can't even _sing_!" As if to demonstrate, she opened her mouth and unleashed a somewhat garbled, warbling note; Lightning flinched.

"I, uh, see," she muttered. "So, did he take your voice, too?"

"Of _course _not," Olga growled at her. "But he was my _muse_, my whole reason for existing!"

Uneasy beneath the woman's raging scowl and strange word choices, she took a small step back, though careful to make it look as though it were perfectly natural. "Maybe he had a good reason," she said. "You know, it might even be that someone else caught his eye."

"Oh, impossible," Olga said, waving a hand. "He _only_ has eyes for _me_, and that has always been the case. Though, I guess it might be possible someone caught it for a mere second." She snorted. "As if he could _ever_ be in love with _anyone_ but me. _Everyone_ knows we do our best work together, and apart, we're utter failures. I have known him for so long that I just can't imagine my career without him!"

Lightning had to bite her tongue to keep from accusing the woman of _running_ him off. It took a moment for her to gather any proper thoughts. "Okay, so when last did you see him?"

"Here," she said. "He said something about getting something from the warehouse, and then never came back!"

"Did you check the warehouse? Maybe he–"

"_What_ do you think I am, some kind of _idiot_?" Olga shouted. "_Of course_ we checked the warehouse! We checked _all_ the surrounding areas! We even inquired at the palace to see if anyone matching his description had happened to turn up! There hasn't been _any_ word of him!"

Finding the woman's screechy demands tiresome, Lightning folded her arms. "There may be other factors at play here, but I will keep an eye out for him."

Olga rubbed the bridge of her nose between her thumb and forefinger. She was a lovely woman with sea-blue eyes and tanned skin, but her attitude disrupted her beauty too much to be appreciated. Perhaps it had come about merely because of her worry about Berdie, but Lightning was not convinced.

"Fine, then, I will even give you my blessing." Olga lifted her head and smiled thinly.

"Uh..." Lightning frowned. "...why is that?"

"Because there isn't a hope on this earth that he could _ever_ fall for _you_ and forget about me." Her eyes narrowed slightly; Caius made a soft sound at Lightning's elbow, and she glanced at him to find his eyes hard. Though she reached out and gently laid a hand on his arm, it did little except make his spine less stiff.

"Don't blame if he does, though," she said. "I'm not out for romance."

"Well, if he does, I'll pull out your hair and claw out your eyes, do I make myself clear?" Olga's smile was tight and so fake it may as well have been painted on her face.

"You can try." Caius's deep voice had dropped a notch further – a commanding sound that instantly drew Olga's eyes to him. Lightning found great amusement in watching the other woman pale and the smile drop off her face, though she otherwise did a fine job of hiding whatever fear he instilled.

"Ah, well, anyway, just bring him back if you see him." Olga nodded, glanced at Caius again, and turned her back to look over the fountain once more.

Lightning lifted an eyebrow. "Olga, you haven't described him to me."

The woman whirled around as though scalded, an utterly irritated expression on her face. She dug into the pocket of her sundress and withdrew a photo that she handed to Lightning with the tips of her fingers. She took it and held it at an angle, revealing a pale-skinned man with brown hair and brown eyes, smiling genuinely at the camera, standing against a backdrop of the same fountain she stood at now. Olga stood beside him in a floor-length white dress, her arm looped around his waist and head on his shoulder, _almost_ looking truly happy.

"That picture is precious to me, so don't lose it," Olga said. "The _moment_ you find him, bring him _and_ that picture back to me, right here at this fountain, do you understand? And if you happen to _lose_ it–"

Caius shifted his weight; Olga looked at him.

"–then I will be very, _very_ unhappy," she muttered, and turned her back again.

Lightning moved away from the fountain, holding the photo and examining it. The looks on the faces of the subjects reminded her of Serah and Snow, especially the day Serah had come home utterly jubilant and told her she had found a boyfriend – right before Lightning had torn into her, reminding her of the importance of university and how finding a boyfriend and falling in love were _completely_ secondary to that.

Feeling a pang of guilt, she quickly tucked the photo into her bag and snapped it closed. For a moment, she stood in the plaza, listening to the fountain and the sound of birds in the distance, trying to pull her mind away from her sister and Snow. That had been in poor taste, she knew now, but she could not change the past.

Shaking her head, she began walking again toward the palace.

"She does not seem to truly love him," was Caius's comment.

Lightning looked at him, grateful he had voiced her thoughts, though more bluntly than she would have liked. "Hard to tell without all the pieces," she said. "I'm willing to give her the benefit of the doubt. I mean–" Pulling out the photo again, she showed it to him and gave him a few moments to look. "Look at them. They look _happy _here, like it was better times. Besides," she added, tucking the photo away once more, "how do I know? I don't know love."

He slowed to a stop in the shade. "Love in and of itself, or have you never _been_ in love?"

"The latter," she said. "I can't say whether they're actually in love or not, because the only example I actually know is that of Snow and Serah, and I didn't even know _their_ love that well. Never having experienced it myself means I just can't make that judgment." She looked at the ground. "I think... _that's_ what Noel and Yeul have been trying to tell me. I can't judge without knowing what it's like."

"You have never been in love," he murmured. "Somehow, that does not surprise me."

Her lips twitched. "Since we're on the topic," she said, walking forward again, "what about yourself? How many times have you fallen in love over the centuries?"

For a moment, he gazed at her, then said, "Not once."

A little surprised, she stopped in her tracks and stared at him. "I find that _impossible_ to believe. You are, what, well over a thousand years old? Probably closer to two thousand, really. You were in one of the highest offices of your people, and you mean to tell me you have _never once_ been in love before?"

"That is the truth. It seems you misunderstand." He rested a hand on his hip. "My whole life has been spent training to be a hunter, hunting, training to become a Guardian, or being a Guardian. Battle is as much a part of me as my blood. Only in the past five centuries have I rested from it."

Understanding came to her. "Your devotion to Yeul kept you from such things."

"And in time, I had no desire for personal pursuits at all." He glanced behind him at the gate leading to the Augur's Quarter, then back at her. "That has been a reality all my life, and it was a reality for all previous Guardians. To be a Guardian is to shun most personal desires and even, to an extent, our individuality. The only object of importance is the life of the seeress, even to the detriment of ourselves."

"I get it," she said. "It's the same reason I never really..." Unsure, she looked at the ground again and laced her fingers together. "I... never... really paid much attention to myself. Serah always came first. Once our mother died, it was me becoming an emancipated minor and guardian to her, or being taken care of by the state. That was when I made the decision to join the Guardian Corps, and became an adult. Nothing else mattered."

"Even to the detriment of yourself."

Her voice was small, against her will, when she said, "I guess so."

Caius did not stand very far away, a forearm's length at most, and in that instant, she became more aware of his closeness than ever before, feeling a sense of unease at having spoken so openly. Though she had told Hope she had needed to become strong for Serah's sake, hence her self-chosen moniker, it had been mostly for _his_ sake, as an attempt to bolster him out of his anger and depression. This was something she had not told anyone. Serah might suspect the truth, but she did not actually _know_ what was in her sister's heart.

To so willingly admit tiny flaws and weaknesses to the man she had warred with, no matter how friendly he was to her now, made her uneasy, her stomach tighten into a knot.

She did not speak, hands clenching at her sides, as she moved past him at a faster pace than before, as though she could leave her words forgotten, dissipating into thin air, trying to ignore that they had already been spoke and he would probably never forget them, no matter her desires. Even though he seemed to understand, that he was quiet and calm and laid no judgment upon her, she did not like the ease at which she could let slip the word festering in her heart to him. Caius had no right to know her heart.

Perhaps Lumina _was_ right, but not in the way she had expected. Perhaps it was not a blade digging into her back or a conspiracy to ruin her she needed to worry about. Maybe it was exposing her heart, even if all that remained was a sliver that contained enough to give her individuality and tiny pieces of emotion.

She ran the card and pushed open the gate harder than necessary, but though she sensed Caius's disquiet, he did not comment, and they continued into the Augur's Quarter.

The statue had been mostly removed, with only a few large chunks and various pieces still present. The ground had cracked during the impact, but places where large pieces of stone had to be removed had been roped off to prevent anyone from stumbling in by accident. Though guards were posted, none of them gave her more than a glance, and the gorgon from before only gave a quick sniff before going back to guard duty.

Lightning waited for the guard at the gate to unlock it and then crossed the threshold into the palace grounds. The air smelled of fruits and flowers, thick and sweet, the sun beating down overhead. She felt sleepy and safe, as though she could simply curl up on the ground and rest for an eternity.

"Is it wise that I accompany you?"

Lightning paused just inside the entrance and half-turned to look at him for a long moment, pondering. Snow had seemed less aggressive by the time they had left. By now, he had probably calmed down, and would not object to Caius's presence – particularly if he'd had the chance to really mull over Serah's return. There was little else to be angry about anymore but the unchangeable past.

And yet, she knew how the past could hurt. Until now, she had carried a strong grudge against him, and only the stark realization of his reality and acceptance of his presence had dulled it to the point that she could ignore it. But Snow had not had that luxury, not yet.

"He needs to deal with you sooner or later," she told him. "Don't worry. This time, he won't turn into a Cie'th."

Caius looked unsure, but he nodded and followed.

Instead of the endless, empty halls of before, Lightning led the way past guards and staff, most of whom were much more interested in their duties than in her. The occasional guard gave her a look when she passed, but none of them tried to stop her, and some even got out of their way. Perhaps Snow had cleared the way for them.

The reached the grand central ballroom, and a quick glance around told her Snow was nowhere nearby. "Excuse me," she said to a nearby sentry, "where's the Patron?"

"Last I heard, ma'am, he was headed back to his quarters to sleep off the heat," the sentry told her.

"Right." She hesitated. "Which way, again?"

The sentry pointed at the stairs. "Follow those stairs, go around to the far side, and follow the corridor."

She did as the sentry directed, Caius at her side. No one commented on him, and he never said a word.

Snow's quarters were easily accessible now, the door propped open and the curtains drawn back. Sunlight and a warm breeze drifted through – a stark contrast to the darkness that had pervaded her last visit here. Instead of looking like a prison, it looked like a place Snow could actually rest in.

"Hey, sis," came a familiar voice, and she turned her head to be greeted by a faint smile.

"I'm not your sister," she said, but managed a slight smile in return. "Good to see you, Snow. We came to make sure you were okay, and it looks like you're faring well enough."

He gave a small nod, then his eyes drifted to her companion, and his smile vanished. "I see you've still got him with you," he murmured. To her relief, though, there was no hint of the previous hostility – only solemnity, sadness, that felt as deep and vast as a sea. "Well, you're still alive, and he doesn't _look_ mean, so..." His lips quirked slightly into an echo of a smile. "So, anything new with you?"

"Uh..." Lightning flexed her fingers. Here was where things got tricky. "I need to tell you something."

"Uh-oh, I know _that_ tone." Snow frowned. "What's up?"

Again, she flexed her fingers, then turned, moving toward the balcony to stand at the railing. As she gazed over the cityscape, she said, "I used to go the Ark at six in the morning, every day, to talk to Hope, and to rest. Bhunivelze used that as a way of keeping an eye on me, and he would also watch over me while I was down here. He had reduced Hope to a teenage state again, as well. Not sure why."

"Wait," he said, "Hope was de-aged?"

"Yeah." Lightning leaned on the railing. "Anyway, things happened. Bringing Caius along brought this... aura of chaos that followed me everywhere. Blocked Bhunivelze's view of me. And then other things happened, and things began to get... weird." She rubbed a hand through her hair. "I heard of an imposter that appeared here years ago, looking like me. Then we busted Vanille out of the cathedral and... and then..." She shut her eyes, deciding now was not the time to talk about what she'd found in the chaos, but forcing herself to go on. "Then... the last time I went to Hope, Bhunivelze took over his body and confronted me directly. He'd been using a facsimile of Serah to keep tugging me along, but when I stopped complying, he threw me out."

There was silence. Lightning glanced over her shoulder to find Snow staring at her, mouth slightly open.

"And by threw me out, it was the whole package," she muttered. "Took away my ability to accumulate days and dissolved the Ark around me so I fell into the Sea of Chaos. Caius had to rescue me."

"That's..." Snow trailed off.

"And then we encountered a beast in the Wildlands, tearing up the continent. I suspect Bhunivelze sent it to keep me busy or–" Pushing away from the railing, she squared her shoulders. "Or... to accelerate the end of days. I have no idea what else he has planned, but if he's going to be that brazen, the collateral could be bad." She looked at him. "Make _sure_ you're ready for anything that happens around here."

"But... but _why_ would he do this? I mean, I'm not... _surprised_, not really, but..." Snow shook his head.

"He wants to strip away our sense of self, our free will, and turn us into tools to toil away in his next world," she said, facing him. "Beyond that, I really couldn't tell you. When I left the Ark, I had accumulated ten total days, and now there's three and a half left. But even _that_ might not be a guarantee. I've done what I can..." Rubbing her forehead, she sighed. "...but it still might not be enough."

Snow placed his head in one hand and stood in silence for a time. Caius, standing off to the side, near the wall, shifted his weight, but otherwise did nothing.

"A facsimile of Serah. That's just _great_." He rubbed the bridge of his nose with his fingertips. "And if he's trying to accelerate the end of the world, he must be desperate. It might not make that much difference if you already know his plan, unless he plans to take his existing 'faithful' before you can 'convert' them." He raised his head enough to peer around his hand at her. "Okay. This is... going to take some time to absorb, but hey, it's not like we've never beat the odds before, right? We're all _heroes_, right?"

She managed a tight smile. "Right. Definitely time to call upon the heroics."

Snow still looked serious. "But, Light, hang on – if he can't get mankind to follow him, then... then what if he just throws us away and lets us all get turned into oblivion at the end?"

"That's _not_ going to happen," she told him sternly. "No matter what the odds, we'll beat them. Bhunivelze can't stop me, or you, or _any_ of us. He can do what he wants, throw _everything_ he's got at us, _tear down the sky itself_, and none of it is going to stop us. You can bet your life on that."

"I already _am_," he muttered, "and don't tempt Bhunivelze. He _will_ take that as a dare, you know."

"Let him, then," she said, snorting. "We can handle it."

Caius gave her a severe look. "Don't act with such bravado," he said. "He _will_ take you up on it."

Despite her brazenness, though, she already knew those were empty words. She believed in her own abilities, knew they could face whatever came upon them, but also understood the risks. Even if Vanille was going to end up more useful than herself should the chaos devour all of humanity, she was still the most powerful of them, and she couldn't guarantee that Yeul would let Caius stay with her through to the end. When it came down to it, she could very well end up facing Bhunivelze alone, so she _had_ to live, as possibly the only human left who would be capable of facing him. There weren't any other options.

"I know," she said, injecting as much weight into those words as she could, and sighing. "Don't worry, I know my limits, and that of man." She swiped her fingers through her hair, then looked at him again. "So, Snow, are you going to stay here? All the others are in the desert, but they'd probably like to see you."

"I'm the patron," he said. "Sorry, my place is here, for now."

"I understand." She nodded. "I don't have anything else, unless you have something for me."

"Not really. Things haven't been all that exciting around here since you left." He rubbed the back of his hand on his forehead and moved away, turning his back to her. While he still wore the black suit of the patron's office, it was neatly pressed and shimmered in the sunlight, as was befitting his position. "If there's less than four days left, then we have to prepare for the end. Who knows how much longer the remaining continents will stay as solid ground, you know. So many acres of land have already disappeared below the waves over the centuries."

"You expect the same to happen here, then?"

"Sooner or later, just going off that pattern. Either it'll get smoked into oblivion at the end, or the remaining land will get eaten by the Sea of Chaos before, or on, the final day." He hung his head. "There's nowhere to evacuate everyone to. They'll just get... swallowed up, like it's nothing."

"Snow," she said, "even if that happens, I know of a way to save them. I just haven't told her yet."

"Her?" He looked at her curiously. "Her, who?"

"We'll talk about it later." The next time she went to the desert, she would need to discuss what the Speaker of the Chaos had told her about Vanille with the woman in question. Knowing Vanille, she would embrace her last role, but the pressure on her would probably feel immense. "There is... one other thing, though."

"Oh?" Snow turned to face her, hands on his hips. "That tone is totally different. Okay, what's up?"

"I haven't had a shower in days," she muttered sheepishly.

Snow's eyebrows went up. "I see."

"And I probably smell like it. There weren't amenities on the Ark, far as I know."

"Say no more," he said, waving a hand. "We have guest rooms with showers. They should be stocked, but if they're not, ask the staff and they can help you." Smirking, he folded his arms now. "Take a shower and a load off for a while. I can tell you've been runnin' yourself ragged." The smirk faded into concern. "It's okay, Light. We can take of ourselves. We did, all these years, without you, you know."

She chuckled. "Right. Except for the part about feeling guilty and locking yourself away, right?"

"Hey, now, I never stopped protecting the people."

The serious note in his voice, coupled with welcome warmth and familiarity, made her smile. "Well, thank you, then. I guess I can spare a few minutes to clean up." She tugged on the collar of her armor, thinking it probably smelled as bad as she did, considering she had never removed it completely. "I'll see you around, Snow."

"Sure," he said. "Out the door and down the hall. You'll find some guest rooms. If you get lost, there's maps at most intersections, or just check with the staff."

Thanking him, she left the room and her concerned thoughts behind, walking swiftly down the hall. At one point, she stopped a sentry and asked for directions, but eventually found a vacant guest room – sparsely furnished and a bit quaint, but with a small balcony and large windows to let in the sun and breeze. It was just big enough for a bed capable of sleeping one comfortably or two squeezed, a few chairs, a counter with a sink and a few cupboards, and a door to the side leading to a bathroom that included a standing-only shower. She got the impression it was meant for lower-ranked staff or low-priority guests, but only as compared to the Patron's quarters and the rest of the palace – it still bore the marks of being handcrafted, lightly decorated and very inviting.

"Perfect," she said after checking the bathroom, finding it fully stocked with towels and other expected amenities, and sighed in relief. "You can hang out here, or go elsewhere, up to you."

"As you wish," he said.

Finding his non-answer both amusing and bewildering, she slipped into the bathroom and shut the door. Carefully, she undid each snap and buckle to find the armor coming off in manageable pieces, which she dropped on the floor. With the exception of the soft, protective layer beneath the shell, she wore nothing else, unexpectedly sweaty once everything was off. She arranged it so that it would air out, then stepped into the shower.

Hot water came first, instantly washing away stress, cramped muscle, and a buildup of grit and sweat that had clung to every possible nook and cranny. The water came off tinged brown, and the smell made her nose wrinkle. One of the soaps was purple and smelled like a pungent tropical flower, easily overpowering the more unpleasant smells of her skin, and within minutes, the water came off clear.

Then she carried her armor into the shower, scrubbing and rinsing until everything shone.

She lingered longer than she had expected, tuning it to a pleasant medium and just standing beneath it with her eyes closed and the smell of the soap clearing her head. Eventually, aware of time passing, she switched it off, grabbed a large, fluffy blue towel, and dried herself off before checking the protective layer. It was still moist, and her armor was still drying, so she wrapped herself in the towel and opened the door.

Someone like her sister might have been a bit put off by the fact that Caius was still there, and she was wrapped in nothing but a towel, but she'd spent enough time in coed locker rooms – not all the time, but once in a while – that the prospect didn't bother much her at all.

"Decided to stay, huh?" She opened the door all the way, letting the steam escape through both the larger windows of the main room and the smaller one in the bathroom.

Caius had selected one of the chairs on the far side of the room to sit, his back mostly to the wall, facing the window but with the only other door squarely in his peripheral vision. His eyes flicked to hers, having been focused on the cityscape beyond the window, and he nodded once.

She grabbed the protective layer, quickly checked to make sure the towel was still secure, and walked across the plush carpet to a chair a couple of feet away from him, plunking herself down in it. Here, the cross-breeze from the windows blew over her and cleared the last of the water. She stretched the layer over the back of the chair, where it would dry the quickest, then rubbed her hands through her hair to shake out more of the water.

"What after this, Lightning?" he asked her.

She made a thoughtful sound and shrugged. "Not sure yet." Leaning forward to rest her elbows on her knees, she rested her chin on her hands. "There's no reason to go back to the desert yet, Snow's doing fine, and the Wildlands are _probably_ okay for now." Sighing, she looked sidelong at him. "Any ideas?"

He leaned back in the chair, resting one arm atop the back. "Now is a good time to rest," he said. "It's peaceful now, and you may not have another chance later."

"Not this again," she grumbled.

"Yes, 'this' again." Caius frowned. "Do I need to remind you once more?"

Lightning leaned back and crossed her legs, now resting her head on her fist propped beside her, but could not disagree with what he had said – it was sensible, something she usually couldn't argue with. Besides, it was true that the bed looked comfortable and inviting to her tired body.

"What will you do, then?" she said, and looked over at him. "Go back to the temple?"

His expression did not change, but his gaze wavered for a moment. "Yes," he said quietly, "I will. It has not been all that long since I have seen Yeul, but she will welcome any time with me."

She lowered her arm. "But you won't."

Caius said nothing, but this time, his eyes briefly drifted away from hers. "It doesn't matter."

"It does," she said. "Do you really not want to go back?"

"She can hear everything you and I discuss," he said. "And you _know_ I must do my duty, regardless of my personal feelings. We just talked about this. That is an oath of a Guardian. My duty and what is right must come before what I want or prefer to happen, whether it matches hers or not."

"I don't care if she can hear us," she said. "Do you want to go back to that temple or not?"

"Irrelevant." His tone was unreadable. "Do not ask me again."

"Caius, can't you just, for once–"

"Lightning, please."

Even if he had shouted at her, she doubted it would faze her more than that quiet plea. The edge had vanished, and all that was left behind was a distinct, nearly invisible, feeling of vulnerability. Even the fringes of his heart, ebbing in the ambient chaos around her, felt as though they reaching out tentatively, but keep withdrawing before they got close enough for anyone, or anything, to respond.

If his answer was yes, she doubted he would be so stubborn about not answering. But if Yeul already knew him as well as she suspected, why bother hiding it?

Hesitantly, she said, "Does she not know the answer to that?"

Caius looked faintly exasperated, but his voice was still soft when he responded. "My heart is part of the chaos now, but there is still a part of it that I keep locked away. This is a part of me that she cannot reach, that is as faraway as my soul. That is where the answer lies."

"That must take some effort, since hearts are made of chaos."

"It does." Eyes softening, he let them linger on hers a moment, then looked away out the window once more. "But I have gotten very good at it."

Hearing him say those words, in that solemn tone of acceptance, she didn't know whether to remind herself he had cursed his own life, or pity him.

"I'm sorry I can't save you," she said, very quietly.

Looking at her again, he said, "Why? I have been little more than a scourge to those who will survive. My face will only bring bad memories when they look at me. Where would I belong in a world like what is to come? What reason would I have for going? The only thing I have ever truly cared for is here, and she will never be able to travel to the new world. She is my anchor to this world. There is not one for me in the future."

"That... isn't the point." She lowered her gaze. "Sure, people might not like you, but they'd get used to you. They could accept you, eventually. And if they didn't, well, you know Sazh will. Snow probably would. Noel would need some time, but I don't think his attitude is permanent."

"Lightning, I do not belong in the new world. There is nothing for me there, no future, even if there was a choice."

"So, is it better, then, for you to be here, rotting away in the darkness?"

There was a pause, and then, "Yes."

Lightning clenched her fingers and looked away. "I'm going to take a nap."

The chair creaked as Caius rose to his feet without hesitation. "I will return when you wake," he said. Meeting her eyes, he nodded. "Sleep well, Lightning. You will need it." Before she could say anything more, he vanished in a wisp of smoke and the softest of sighs.

Lightning stared at the spot he had vacated for a long time, heedless of anything else in the room. When her thoughts finally returned to her, she shook her head and rose, rearranging her protective layer so that it would dry more easily. Once finished, she cast aside her towel, leaving it on a chair to dry, and checked the sheets before choosing to lay atop them instead, finding the coverlets too heavy, and grabbing one of the sheets to pull over herself. As she curled up, facing the window, her thoughts seemed to spin in all directions.

Bhunivelze and Hope occupied them first – she hoped she could rescue him from his fate, having her doubts about her capabilities. Remembering Bhunivelze trying to rip away her power and nearly succeeding but for her own force of will, she wondered what else he would do to punish humanity for her disobedience.

They wandered to Snow, and she was grateful that he seemed alright. Remembering how poorly she had treated him when he and Serah had first met only made her hope even more that their reunion would be happy, that they would be together forever, and that nothing would ever interfere with their happiness.

Lightning gripped the coverlet for a moment before making herself relax, trying to ignore a familiar twinge at the bottom of her stomach, but finding it difficult in the peaceful silence.

When Serah and Snow reunited and married, would they happily accept her into their home? Would there be room for her there? Or would she eventually be forgotten, buried under children and the demands of living a normal life, under work schedules and a growing family?

She would eventually be alone, she knew, one way or another, once again.

With some effort, she managed to shove those thoughts off to the side and went back to thinking. Her thoughts drifted to the others – Sazh, Vanille, Noel, and Fang – as she pondered when she would see them again, and what they would do in the new world. They would be happy, she knew, because she was going to make it happen no matter what, but the trick was in making it the rest of the way.

Then her thoughts slipped away from her, drifting to Caius and his solemn eyes, accepting his fate and having no more will to fight it – no _way_ to fight it – and only wanting to make up for the mistakes he had made, whatever and no matter the cost to himself.

And hearing him declare himself a _scourge_, and _meaning it_, disturbed her, and made her pity him.

He would deny her pity, but she didn't really care.

_How did it come to this?_ She had begun this journey steadfast in her lack of forgiveness, in her anger, in her grief, in her desire to keep him at arm's length, yet now she entertained the idea of forgiving him for every atrocity he had committed against herself, her friends, her family, and humanity. The atrocities he had wrought were massive, at one point nearly reaching the level of genocide in his desperation. And yet, she considered it.

For now, she filed it away, at the back of her mind, and closed her eyes.

* * *

She opened her eyes to smoky shadows, but not pitch blackness, and the dull roar of the people trapped in the chaos all around her. She stood on solid ground, but when she looked down, she saw nothing except blackness beneath her feet, making her head spin, so she looked back up and tried to focus. The chaos swirled and danced all around her, and she looked for Lumina, but the pink-haired girl was nowhere to be seen.

"Lumina?" she called out. Sooner or later, the girl always showed up. It was a pattern. "Come on out."

There was no response but the whispering shadows.

Worried she risked slipping into the chaos again, she forced herself to stay focused. She had fallen asleep, it seemed, which would make this a dream resulting from the chaos. She was at risk again of losing herself, and this time, Odin was not here to save her, and Caius was nowhere nearby.

A tendril of chaos appeared before her on the expanse; Lightning narrowed her eyes, watching it take shape, until it formed into the image of a young girl.

"The Yeul of War," she murmured as the figure took solid form. Wisps of chaos still swirled around her and danced like river water, reminding her that the girl _was_ the chaos itself. It was indeed the girl who loved Caius, who had asked her to release him from her service, who had looked at her so coldly in the temple and calmly stated her all-consuming _need_ to keep him with her.

"Your mind has slipped toward the chaos again," she said. Her green eyes peered at her, vivid against the dancing darkness. "This could have been avoided had you released our Guardian."

"I can't change the past," Lightning told her. "Besides, you have no proof of that. Can _you_ see a different future?"

"I can make observations," the girl told her. "Will you release him back to us?"

The warrioress tightened her expression. "Release him back to you? I told you, you're getting him back at the start of eternity. You will be with him _forever_ after this world ends. It might hurt a little to be away from him, but I need him with me for now. He's staying."

"And I do not?" The girl lifted her chin. "It is because of him you were cast into the chaos. Perhaps, if you release him back to us, Bhunivelze will not chastise you so."

Lightning faltered at this thought and stared at the girl. Releasing Caius from her service might very well be what was needed to keep Bhunivelze at bay until the final day arrived. It could be enough to stop him from sending his beasts to destroy the world. It could even give her a little more time.

Yet, even as she mulled this over, she knew it was, likely, already far too late for it.

"He has free will," she told the girl. "Caius can walk out any time. He can go right back to you whenever he wants. Why do you keep asking _me_ to send him back?"

"Because he will stay until he cannot." Yeul's voice was strained. "You must turn him away in order for him to come back to us. He will not leave until he is made to. Do you not understand?" When Lightning opened her mouth, the girl frowned. "No, you cannot understand. Caius's heart is hidden from me. The truth of his motives and what he feels remains locked away. Yet some of reality slips free." She fiddled with the hem of her skirt. "You _must_ release him to us, or he will not return until he has no choice."

"That isn't very long from now," she muttered.

"Release him to protect him, then, so that he will not suffer more."

Confused, Lightning stared at Yeul for a long moment, wondering how Caius could possibly suffer any more than he already did. How could she possibly add to his suffering? She could neither ease his suffering nor increase it, as it was not within her ability to do either. Perhaps Yeul had gone mad.

"He is... I won't make him suffer, Yeul," she assured the girl. "Besides, I couldn't. It's impossible for me."

"Man, you just don't _get_ it."

Lightning frowned in the direction of Lumina's voice as the pink-haired girl appeared from the chaos, bearing a broad smile and twirling her hair around one finger. "Should've known you'd show up eventually. So, tell me the truth, what's _your_ stake in all of this? Why do you care so much?"

"Just tryin' to watch out for _you_, sis. I mean, haven't _you_ caused enough pain? Why make poor Caius suffer, too?"

"Enough nonsense," Lightning snarled. "What is _really_ going on?"

Lumina laughed at her. "You just don't _get_ it!"

Irritated, Lightning turned her attention back to Yeul to find the girl looking at her with pleading eyes. "I implore you, as only a woman who feels as I do can," she said. "I miss him so much that it hurts my heart. I am alone and broken without him. Missing him makes me incomplete. Even if he does not return my love, I still cannot bear to be apart from him. That is something _you_ cannot understand."

"Oh, Yeul," Lumina said, giggling. "Of _course_ she can't understand! She cut her heart into pieces a long time ago. Part of what makes her who she is, is missing."

Lightning's frowned deepened. "Listen to me, Yeul," she said sternly. "I remember, just before my final battle with Caius, you strung up Serah in front of me like a puppet, made me _watch_ while you laughed about her fate, while you convinced me that _I_ was at fault for her death. That continues to haunt me to this day. _Yes_, I am responsible for sending her to her doom, I understand that. But I did the same thing you are now – I _begged_ you to bring her back, demanded that you release her from the darkness, and you _laughed_."

Yeul opened her mouth, but nothing came out. Something flashed through her eyes, something akin to fear, and not a hint of anger could be seen.

"There was more than one of us that day," she said. "I was among them, but–"

"Then I'm _tired_ of this, and of playing these stupid games. That goes for _both_ of you." She looked between them. "No matter how much either of you beg,. You know him – you can _tell_ he doesn't want to go back when he has to. I don't know his heart like you do, but I can see hints when they exist. He's helping me, even though we warred and tried to kill each other. He is trying to make up for his mistakes, and to do that most effectively, he travels with me. If he asks to be allowed to leave, then we can talk, but enough is enough."

Lumina's grin froze on her face. "Ah, right, sis, but... ah, don't you think it would be... _better_ to–"

"That's _enough_," Lightning said. "_Don't_ ask me again."

The grin vanished, and the pink-haired girl stood there, looking lost, for a long moment, before her form slowly melted away into the darkness. Yeul was left staring in dismay, lips parted, but nothing came. The two stood and gazed at each other; Lightning felt a sinking sensation in her gut the longer she looked at the girl, but she could not determine the source of it.

Then Yeul said, in a voice barely above a whisper, "I cannot lose him more than I have. I _cannot_. It hurts. I cannot... I just..." Her hands came up to her face, and she vanished.

At the same time, a warm, white light enveloped her, separating her from the chaos, and lifted her off the black ground she had been standing on. As she blinked and looked all around, something brushed across her forehead, soft and warm; her mind cleared, the echoes of the chaos fading away as though her time in the Sea of Chaos had never occurred. Confusion overcame her; she opened her mouth, asking who was there, what they were doing, but there was no response she could understand.

A sensation of grogginess overcame her, not in the least unpleasant. Welcoming the feeling to her weary bones, she let her eyes drift closed, slipping into a peaceful sleep once more.

* * *

_Both this chapter and the previous chapter are what I consider "relationship chapters" - ones that focus primarily on building and strengthening the relationships of the characters while laying the foundation for the direction of the rest of the story. In addition, these types of chapters are more important than they appear to be at first glance. This one, for example, has quite a lot to do with the remainder of the story. Anyway, now we have a confused Lumina and a hurting Yeul, a Caius who wants to be totally truthful to Lightning but can't, and a Lightning who doesn't really know what's going on. Thanks for being patient, and please let me know what you think!_


	36. The Glittering City

_**35 The Glittering City**_

Lightning awoke to find the sky colored bronze outside her window, the breeze cooled since the last time she had been awake. Feeling refreshed, she lifted her head off the pillow, then stretched all her limbs at once, working out the kinks in the joints. In spite of her stubbornness, it seemed she really _had_ needed the rest, as she felt more awake and alert now than she had in many days. She kicked off the sheet and went into the bathroom to find her armor dry and smelling much better.

In a few minutes, she had everything strapped on and adjusted.

Before going out to summon a staff member to tidy up, she walked out onto the narrow balcony and leaned on the rail, taking a few moments to look at the city, imprinting it in her memories. Once the world ended, this landscape would be devoured by the chaos as though it had never existed. Perhaps some echo would linger, but it would be in a place no one in the new world could ever see again. Even those who carried the old world in their memories could only pass on stories as their lives faded to dust.

She looked at the railing and rubbed a finger across it. So much would be lost during the transition to the new world, even if it was all, ultimately, worth it.

Feeling a familiar brush of chaos across her heart, she leaned on her elbows. "Hey, Caius," she said. "You alright?"

"As well as I can be," he told her.

"You would..." She looked at him, entwining her fingers. "...tell me if I was keeping you from Yeul, right?"

"Yes," he said, looking curious. "This is sudden," he added, turning slightly toward her. "Seems an odd thing to ask as soon as you see me again. What prompted it?"

"Well, it's... just..." A sigh escaped her. "She... well, came to see me last night, while I was asleep."

His brow furrowed. "Interesting. For what purpose?"

"She begged me to let you return to the temple. She wanted me to _tell_ you to leave, because she seems to think you wouldn't otherwise, though she refused to tell me why."

"I..." He trailed off, then looked away. "...see."

"So, I'm not holding this over your head, Caius," she added, straightening. "If you want to leave, do it. No one is keeping you here, and it would be wrong of me to. I know you have duties beyond me. I know your ultimate duty is to her, and to watch over the chaos in place of Etro. I'm not trying to keep you here against your will."

"You are giving me leave?" he said, quietly.

"Of course," she said. "You're not a prisoner here, you know. I know you have a duty to me, but Yeul is a little more important to you. I wouldn't want you to think otherwise."

His eyes returned to hers. "Then I will remain here until you need me no more."

She sighed. "Caius, look, it's not about–"

"Lightning," he interrupted her, gently, and she stopped, looking down at the ground far below. He did not need to explain that single word, or the weight behind it.

"I know." She flexed her fingers. "Alright. Stay, then." Pushing away from the railing, she stretched her arms over her head again. "Well, I feel more rested than I have in a long time. Guess you and Snow had the right idea after all, much as I hate to admit it." She offered him a small smile, relieved to see his expression soften in return. "So, did anything exciting happen in my brief absence?"

"There seems to be some odd seismic activity in the Wildlands," he said, "and the chaos has become so turbulent that it is very difficult to make anything out. There is something in there, some form of energy I cannot place, but whenever I try to find out more, I always encounter some obstacle."

"Obstacle? Energy? What..." She blinked as she trailed off, thinking about last night – about the mysterious force that had touched her mind and cleared it of the chaos. "What... kind of energy?"

"Difficult to say," he said. "Powerful, at the very least."

"But I thought there was nothing but the _chaos_ inside the chaos. I mean, if there's something there..." Rubbing her forehead with one hand, she shook her head. "Could it be something that fell in very recently? You know, some sort of powerful energy signature from elsewhere in the world, maybe?"

"Doubtful. It feels both foreign and familiar. Thinking back, I know I have sensed it before, but it was far weaker, as though restrained somehow." He folded his arms. "It is said that Etro built the temple in Valhalla as a prison for an enemy from antiquity. Perhaps the collective memory of Yeul might have some clue as to its truthfulness, but no one alive has anything more than mere speculation to go on. Perhaps that is what I sensed."

"And an enemy of Etro would be no friend to us."

"You would certainly be right about that."

Lightning rubbed a hand across her face a few times, doing her best to take it all in. A prison for an ancient enemy, a mysterious energy force deep within the chaos, obstacles preventing Caius from finding more information, and a false god that may or may not want to kill her. It was a little overwhelming.

"Is it any good thinking about it now?" she murmured.

Caius did not speak for a moment, but she heard him move closer. "No. We can leave it."

"Good." She let her hand fall away. "So, I guess it's back to work. The festivities should be starting soon. Think you're up for wading into the madness again?"

"You needn't be concerned for me." He moved to stand before her; she looked up at him. "But my worries are about you. Did the chaos come to you again?"

"I..." She rubbed the crown of her skull. "I... yeah, I think it did. I think that's how Yeul and Lumina were–"

"Lumina, too?" He scowled. "What did _she_ want?"

"Well, she didn't _help_," she muttered. "But, anyway, I think that's how they were able to come bother me while I was asleep, using my remaining link to the chaos. But, here's the thing, and it's weird, but..." Bringing both hands in front of her, she rubbed them together, fingers entwining. "I... think someone, or something, cleared it away. I felt something touch my mind and break my link to the chaos. It feels free."

Caius's scowl faded into a slight frown. He raised a hand, holding it close to her jaw for a moment, before the frown vanished entirely. "It seems that way," he said, a note of relief coloring his voice. "I wonder, then, who would have done such a thing. It _could_ have been the other Yeuls."

"What," she said, "you don't think the Yeul of War would have been so kind?"

"No," he said, without hesitation.

Lightning wasn't sure what to make of that sort of honesty. "Ah, well, then..." She shrugged. "What else?"

His hand dropped away. "I do not know."

Her brow furrowed as she continued staring at him. If even _Caius_ could not know, and he had no idea what the mysterious energy was, then it was as alien as the distant stars. "Standing here wondering about it won't get us any close to the answer," she murmured, "and it won't make us any more prepared for the end. We're running shorter on time with every passing moment. Let's get moving."

"Down into Yusnaan, then?"

"Yeah," she said, and led the way out of the room. When they passed a staff member on the way out, she let them know it needed to be tidied up, then continued out to the plaza.

The statue was almost completely cleaned up, though the ground still ruined, and she doubted any real effort would be made to fix it this close to the world's end. They left the plaza as the sun began to disappear behind the buildings, and long, inky black shadows spread across the streets. The air cooled a little more, the sky deepening its hue, and a star could be seen on the opposite side of the sky from the sun.

Lightning paused outside the Augur's Quarter to look up. "One of the last sunsets this world's gonna see."

"It makes it even more magnificent," was Caius's quiet response.

She looked at him. "You've seen a lot of sunsets."

"I have," he said, "but I cannot recall the last time I was truly able to... appreciate any of them."

"Are you appreciating this one?"

In the sunset light, he reminded her of the brief flashes of images she had seen of him standing on the plains of Gran Pulse from Valhalla, long before the fall of Cocoon, as stoic and unreadable as he was now. So different from what she had had known him to be in their war.

For a moment, he did not respond, then his eyes found hers. "Yes."

Lightning felt her skin prickle at that single word – something about the way he looked at her, the weight he placed behind it, struck some sort of nerve deep inside her she did not know existed. For a moment, she gazed back, then shook her head, forcing herself to continue onward into the streets.

In the moments before the festivities began, everything was quiet. Shopkeepers were finishing setting up and there were not many people out on the streets just yet. She remembered Olga's request to find Berdie and wondered if he was actually in the city anymore.

Before she went too far, though, her stomach crawled, grumbling at her for sustenance. She paused and glanced around, looking for somewhere to eat. The closest place was just across from the fountain, a cafe tucked into the wall and run by a hostess in cat getup. Lightning's first instinct was to pass over that hole-in-the-wall, remembering the hostess's assurances, called out to the crowded streets, in a sly tone and with no shame, that both their "drinks and women" were top-notch.

When the hostess looked her way, Lightning nodded politely, but kept going.

"It concerns me," Caius murmured as they continued into the plaza near the station, where a thousand delightful smells wafted into the near-still air. "Someone, or something, came to you in the night and severed your link to the chaos, something even I could not do."

"Why does it bother you?" she said. "I mean, isn't what happened _good_?"

"Of course," he said, "but the fact that there is some entity with greater power over the chaos than even myself or Yeul, at least as far as I know, whom I cannot sense or seen, worries me." Raising a hand, he swept his fingers through his hair, causing it to shimmer in the sunset hues. "Be careful."

"I'll be fine," she assured him. "Besides, you don't need–"

"To worry about you," he finished, and looked sidelong at her. "Yes, if you promise to be less _reckless_."

Despite her best efforts, a tiny smile slipped free. "Yeah, I promise."

His eyes visibly softened. "Good."

They waded into the Glutton's Quarter; Lightning wandered among the stalls, searching for anything that seemed particularly interesting. Eventually, she decided the grill was the most appetizing, drawn by the scent of fresh meat, sauteed vegetables, and fresh-cooked flatbread. Her selection ended up being a surprisingly stout flatbread roll stuffed with some sort of meat, chopped vegetables, and spices, the juice threatening to dribble out both ends if she didn't carefully juggle it and tuck the wrapper just right.

The moment the ensemble struck her tongue, her whole body seemed to demand she shove it down her throat all at once, the innumerable flavors perfectly mingling and sending her into a state of pure contentment.

"Wow," she mumbled around a mouthful, "this is _amazing_."

"You certainly look as though you are enjoying it," was Caius's amused comment.

After another bite, she wiped away the juices with a napkin and looked at him. "Haven't eaten food this good in a while, that's all. Kind of tastes like what Serah used to make." She forced herself not to dwell on those memories as she tossed the napkin in a trash bin. "You don't need to eat anymore, right?"

"No, no longer a requirement."

"Must be nice," she muttered, and continued eating until about half was left. The thick flatbread managed to soak up the spices and juices without becoming soggy, and seemed to be doing most of the job of filling her up.

"Would you rather sit?" he said.

Lightning hesitated, looking at the rest of her roll for a few moments. She did very much want to eat and enjoy the rest of it, and juggling it in what amounted to one and a half hands was no fun. Of course, they needed to keep moving, keep finding people to help, and yet...

"Probably should," she muttered, and moved to a bench at the foot of the stairs leading to the Glutton's Quarter.

Here, they were out of the way of foot traffic and most curious eyes, but she could see a good swath of their surroundings. Slowing her pace, she chewed for longer periods of time, sitting on one end of the bench while Caius took up the other, settled back but clearly alert, and no one got too close as a result. The only one who seemed more than a little curious was a young woman standing in line at a trinket vendor, who more than once shot a glance over at him, but she came no closer.

The sky darkened to a burnt orange color with a hint of gold, and more stars appeared in the skies. The air cooled a little further, though the pavement remained warm, and the breeze died completely. In sections, lights wrapped around trees, banisters, and balconies came on, filling the city with an inviting yellow light. Somewhere in the distance, a clock struck the hour; she heard six chimes.

Lightning crumpled up the now-empty wrapper and threw it in the nearest trash bin. Instead of getting up right away, though, she lingered and looked up at the still-darkening sky.

For a long time, neither of them spoke, sitting in comfortable silence. Lightning pondered it, thinking how they had come from her feeling unable to trust him at her back to this, wondering what could have happened had she never asked him to leave the temple in the first place. At the same time, she thought of Bodhum, with the annual fireworks lighting up the sky, and the childish belief that they could make wishes come true.

Even she had been caught wishing on them before.

"This reminds me so much of Bodhum during the annual festival," she said.

Caius shifted his weight a little, but did not comment verbally. When she looked at him, she saw him gazing back, the lights casting soft shadows across his features and blurring the sharper edges of his armor. She could almost believe it wasn't even there, if only for a moment.

"Serah and I used to go to it," she continued, looking back at the sky. "We'd go every year. Our mother used to go with us, before she got sick, and buy us stupid little trinkets that we just loved, because we were kids. Then we would get some sort of treat and go sit out by the water and make wishes." Her eyes fell away from the sky to her lap, where her finger entwined. "I stopped believing in wishes after she died."

"When you had to grow up," he said.

Lightning sighed. "I probably shouldn't have even told you about that."

Caius sounded bemused when he said, "Is there a reason?"

"Well... no, but it's... personal. It's..." Suddenly uncomfortable, she leaned forward, resting on her knees. "It's one of those deeply personal matters, you know? It's something that shaped my past and makes me who I am. It's not one of those things I just... tell people. Serah barely knows about it."

"I understand," he said, and she believed him. "I would never want you to reveal something you are not comfortable with. Tell me only what you wish to."

Her eyes flicked to his. "Caius, I told you on my own. Well, there was that _one_ time you asked about my mother, but I didn't tell you much of anything even then. Don't go thinking you're pushing."

He dipped his chin. "As you wish."

Another non-answer. Lightning sighed and stood. "Let's keep moving. Maybe we can find Berdie."

Caius rose to his feet. "He may not be in the city."

She nodded, but couldn't help but sigh. "I know, but I still want to give–"

A yelp close by snagged her from her thoughts; she turned in time to see one of the chocobo girls pull back from slapping a dark-haired man with her wing – not hard enough to hurt, but apparently enough to startle him. As he recoiled, she gave him a look of displeasure, the usual smile completely gone.

"Hey," Lightning said, hurrying up to them, "what's going on here? Is this guy bothering you?"

"No, not too," the chocobo girl said, raising an eyebrow.

"Would you just–" The man looked helpless. "I'm not... it's not what you _think_–"

"For the third time, stop _propositioning_ me. I am _working_ right now. No dates! Now, go on!" She waved her wings at him, and once he had hung his head and slunk away, she immediately went back to grinning and waving her arms while singing and throwing the occasional flower. Lightning grudgingly admired her.

"I wasn't _asking_ for a date," the man mumbled, and looked down at something his hands.

Lightning hesitated. "Alright, then, what's going on?"

The man looked up suddenly. "Oh! Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to... uh. Hmm. Well, no one else has asked tonight, so would you listen to me for a moment? Please?"

At least it was in her job description. "Of course," she said. "What's your name?"

"Lennet," he said. "I have... I have these, you see, and I'm trying to give them away, but I can't seem to get a word out straight, so everyone thinks I'm just..." He sighed and held up the object. It was a slip of paper, creamy white and embellished with gold accents, with the name of the city's most famous, upscale restaurant written in sweeping, bold calligraphy at the top with an obviously skilled hand. "...asking them out."

"Reservations to the Banquet of the Lord?" Lightning stared at him. "_Why_ would you give these up?"

"Well, it's that, or try to find someone to go with me. Needless to say, that hasn't worked out. You see..." Lowering the reservation slip, he looked at her. "...my girl, she's... uh, well, we're no longer together, let's just leave it at that. I made these a long time ago, I think over a _year_ ago. Do you _know_ how hard it is to get reservations there?" Lennet looked frustrated for a moment, but she couldn't miss the thick sadness in his eyes, either. "Anyway, it's either give them to someone, or it's a hard-earned paycheck wasted. Or someone comes with me."

"I see." She folded her arms. "When are they good for?"

"Tonight, at eleven," he said.

"And you're allowed to give them to someone else?"

"My prerogative." Again, he looked at the reservation slip. "I mean... it's not like I'm going to– going to..." Lennet suddenly ducked his head, hiding his eyes from her, but she heard a soft choking sound right before he cleared his throat in an obvious attempt to mask it. "Uh... sorry. The breakup... it hit me hard."

"It was no mere breakup," Caius murmured.

Lennet did not look at either of them. "You could... you could say that, yeah."

Lightning hesitated and gazed at the reservation. She could take it and give it to some other couple they found. She could just go with him, too. But it felt wrong, somehow, to just take it, all the same. Lennet wasn't telling them something, and she had an idea of what the "breakup" had really been. There had already been so much death in the world, it seemed to be the most logical conclusion.

"Lennet," she said, gently, "how did she die, and how long ago?"

He squeezed the paper between his fingertips. "That obvious," he said, very quietly. After a moment, he managed to look up at her. "Months ago. I mean, I'm... past it, yeah. I get I won't see her again. She would want me to still enjoy it, or give it to someone who _will_ enjoy it in her... in _our_ stead, you see." Finally, he smiled, the sadness clearing a little from his features. "Here, take it. Someone else will love it, probably."

Lightning did so and nodded to him. "Will you be alright?"

"I will, yeah." Lennet tipped his head. "Just let them know I sent you. Already warned them I... might hand it off to someone else, so don't worry. You look like a couple that could use it."

Lightning somehow kept her expression perfectly neutral. "We aren't together."

"Oh... you're not?" Lennet looked genuinely confused. "Oh, uh, well... sorry. You were just kinda.. giving off that vibe. Know what I mean?" He waved his hands and looked sheepish.

Caius sighed quietly at her side; she shook her head.

"Don't worry about it too much." He slipped his hands into his pockets. "Two people who won't leave each other's sides have a tendency to get seen as 'together' in this city. Well, either way, thanks for helping me out." Smiling a little, he turned and wandered off into the ground.

She gazed after him for a moment, then folded the slip and tucked it into her bag. It seemed as though everyone she'd come across had lost something or other over the past five centuries. Did _anyone_ still alive on this planet still have everything, or were they all like Lennet and the others? "Maybe we can find Berdie and I can give this to them," she said. "It might help their relationship a little."

Caius snorted. "Appreciating _that_ sort of gesture might be somewhat difficult for those two."

Lightning made a face at him. "Well, we can _look_," she said, and continued on into the crowd. "Maybe we'll bump into him completely by accident, do a quick job, then drop him off with Olga before midnight."

"Perhaps," he said.

Not sure what else to do, she followed the flow of traffic through the lower section of the city and into Cactuar Square, where the lights seemed to be at their brightest and shining from every direction. From here, she could hear the sounds of the Coliseum undergoing preparation for the evening's battles, though muffled by distance and being on the other side of buildings and rock.

To the left, she saw colors dancing on the wall near the fountain. Curious, she moved that direction, carefully avoiding the pedestrians blanketing the street. Chocobo girls stood at the edges, waving and smiling, and some of them tossed confetti into the air, where it sparkled and glittered in the lights. While not as noisy as she knew it would all be later, it was still rather raucous.

It was the fountain and its light display, scattering patterns on the wall behind the water. Not to her surprise, she found Olga there, looking frustrated as before and still wearing her sundress from earlier.

"Does she ever leave?" she muttered.

Needing time to think, Lightning moved to sit at the cafe with the cat-eared hostess and did her very best to ignore her calling out how simply amazing the place was for "everything you can imagine". More patrons flocked to the cafe as she sat at one of the outer tables and did her best to ignore them. A man in a hood that covered most of his face sat on the outer edge, while a woman in a partial mask sat nearer by with a toddler in her lap – a child who had no doubt been that age for _centuries_.

Looking away from them, she instead cast her gaze around the immediate area, but nothing in particular caught her eye, and instead she looked down at the table.

Caius sat just to her left, leaning over the table with his hands folded, but in her peripheral vision, she saw the telltale symptoms of alertness in the tense lines of his arms and shoulders and the way his gaze drifted to key points of their surroundings. It called to mind her Guardian Corps training and the alertness she had developed from her time as a l'Cie, and it made her feel a little bit more secure.

Bored, she propped her chin on her fist. "You look thoughtful," she said, more to break the silence than anything.

Caius looked at her. "I am always thinking."

She knew how that was. "Well, what are you thinking about right now?"

"Many things," he said, and looked at his hands for a moment, fingers twitching against each other. "One of them being how this reminds me of some of Paddra's festivals. More alcohol and... hmm, groping involved, here, I would say, but the atmosphere feels familiar enough."

"Groping, huh?" She half-smiled faintly. "What, were your people not into public displays of affection?"

"Not... exactly, no." He tipped his head. "Not to say it didn't happen."

She looked over at Olga again. "Sounds like it's common around here, in Yusnaan, from what I've heard. Must be a city of 'love' or something. Or maybe just... really romantic. Something about the atmosphere cultivating intimacy or something." She shrugged. "Well, whatever the case, it's at least pretty."

Caius nodded. "Indeed," he said, his voice soft.

Lightning looked at him for a few moments, the city's lights causing his hair to shimmer and casting soft shadows across his features, before looking away again, searching for something to do. She didn't expect to find anyone who looked remotely like Berdie, or else he'd have no doubt been found already.

The toddler started to cry; the woman cradled him closer and shushed him, hugging him tight. Lightning tried not to look at the uncomfortable sight.

Caius suddenly looked severe; at the same time, Lightning saw movement out of the corner of her eye and looked to see the man in the hood approaching the table. She quelled the first instinct to rise to her feet and instead stayed where she was, looking off into the city as though paying no attention.

The man came up to her, at the edge of her peripheral vision; Caius hid his displeasure well, but she saw it as a familiar fire in his eyes.

In one swift movement, she stood, grabbed the man's wrist, twisted it, and forced him to stand still, locking his arm in an uncomfortable position that left him at her mercy. She heard him suck air through his teeth, but he seemed wise enough not to try anything further.

"Can I help you?" she said, keeping her expression calm.

He turned his head enough for her to see his face and get a better look at the rest of his outfit. It resembled the robes of the Heretics in Poltae, though with more customization, just enough to keep it from looking _exactly_ like theirs, and enough to make him distinct. "Maybe you can," he murmured. "You spoke with Olga."

"I did, yeah." Looking at Caius, she gestured for him to remain seated. He shifted enough to lean back from the table and rest one arm on it instead of both, but nodded. "What of it?"

"Are you looking for her dear Berdie?"

"She asked me to find him, if that's what you're wondering. Something to you?"

"Let go and I might just tell you."

She squeezed a little harder. "Could be a problem."

"Fine. I see your point." He sounded strained. "Berdie isn't anywhere around here. He's a little trouble, you see. Got talking to the wrong people, if you know what I mean, and couldn't pay up. That's all I know. You want more, you need to talk to the guy handling his problem."

Lightning couldn't hide her surprise. This was a turn of events she wasn't expecting. "Wait, what?"

"Yusnaan isn't some sparkling metropolis of utopian beauty," he muttered. "It's like the lower levels of Academia, only more glitz and less space. Nobody looks too close around here, so we all just kind of mind ourselves. You can find just about anything you want in this city. So, you wanna find Berdie or not?"

Releasing him, she folded her arms. He faced her, grimacing and flexing that arm. "Why do you care?"

"I don't, I just get paid to." He lifted an eyebrow. "Ever heard of Serendipity?"

"Yeah," she said, "a casino on the edge of eternity."

"Sure, supposed to have been blessed by the goddess Etro and everything. Eternal luck, the works." His lips quirked into a half-smile. "Serendipity fell into this realm when the chaos came... well, sort of."

Lightning exchanged a look with Caius. "You're kidding."

The man looked smug. "You see evidence of it all around. The fal'Cie Pandemonium might have cultivated the land and encouraged Yusnaan's creation, but there's this _atmosphere_ no fal'Cie can replicate, you know?" He shrugged. "Don't know much beyond that, but you get the idea. You want to talk about Berdie's release, go talk to the owner of the Slaughterhouse. He won't talk to anyone but the Liberator."

"Great," she muttered, "something only I can clean up?"

"I don't know. I didn't get paid to know."

"But you're a Heretic, right?" She pointedly looked him up and down. "You look it. Why do this?"

"Some of us have to make a living," he muttered. "It's never been a utopia around here, not since Cocoon fell out of the sky and we had to start making our own way. Human nature sucks. I take it you've never spent any time in the lower levels of Academia?"

"Can't say I have," she admitted, "and honestly never heard anything before now."

"You wouldn't." Turning his back, he waved a hand. "The Slaughterhouse owner usually loiters around the outside of it. You won't see him before he sees you. And yeah, you're right, I _am_ a Heretic." And with that, he walked off as calmly and quietly as he had arrived, leaving her bemused.

"You shouldn't be surprised," Caius told her.

"Oh, I know," she muttered. "It's my job. Just wondering what it is only I can do."

"Not everyone has a burden of emotion or pain," he said. She looked over at him; he rose to his feet and allowed a ghost of a smirk to slip onto his lips. "Perhaps he has a problem only a fierce warrior can resolve. This is not the first time you have needed your strength and power to save a soul, you know."

"True," she said. "Guess we better see what's up."

Leaving the cafe, they doubled back, through Cactuar Plaza, and went down the busy central avenue that led to the Slaughterhouse. Though it was not yet abuzz with activity, she caught sight of furtive movements betraying the presence of attendants and staff working feverishly to prepare the Coliseum for its nightly "festivities". A bloody enough sport, she knew, one that disgusted her. She was a soldier, but at least she didn't fight for the raw thrill of it – at least, not that she could admit to herself, of course.

"People come here to fight and die," her companion said behind her. "They spill blood for the thrill, because of reality, the way eternity dulls the blade of mortality." He snorted softly, but it seemed derisive, and not directed at the people he spoke of. "The reality I wrought. How did I not see this coming?"

"I don't think anybody did," she said. "It's not all your fault. Eternity didn't make people into what they became, it just gave us time to be what we are."

He was quiet for a moment, then said, "Perhaps you're right."

Lightning stopped some distance from the Slaughterhouse and looked around, scanning for the owner – for _anyone_ at all out of place – but the slapdash of expensive threads, worn clothes, and very strange ensembles made it hard to figure out who _didn't_ belong to the cacophony. Remembering the Heretic's words, she folded her arms and decided to wait, leaning against a pillar supporting a fence around a pair of gorgon that were circling each other. Caius stood beside her, leaning on one shoulder, and said nothing.

Then, a minute later, she saw someone slightly shorter than her, willowy, with dark blond hair, peel away from the rest of the staff and come hurrying over.

One quick glance told her everything she needed to know: high-quality clothing masquerading – and convincingly – as lower-middle-class fashions, neatly maintained hair, tanned pale skin indicative of regular time spent outdoors, and a walk that was somehow both shy and confident. Used to playing a part, she guessed.

As he opened his mouth, she cut him off with, "You the owner?"

"Ah–" He closed his mouth and lifted an eyebrow. "Yeah, that's me. And you're the Liberator, obviously. Not a lot of people with pink hair and armor like yours around here."

"Cut to the chase," she said. "One of your men sent me here to help you. It's about Berdie."

"Oh, yes, Berdie." The Slaughterhouse owner couldn't have been much older than seventeen, she guessed, but his eyes were world-weary, his mannerisms betraying that he was accustomed to dealing with people, yet he kept a tone that was light and befitting his age... though she heard the burr of a much harder edge buried within it. "Funny you should mention him. I heard from Olga you were looking for him."

"Olga?" Straightening and letting her arms fall to her sides, she tipped her head. "Wait, why?"

"Because Olga, uh, speaks her mind. Often."

"I imagine," was Caius's muttered response to that.

Lightning looked sidelong at him, which he returned without expression, then back at the owner. "Well, whatever, it doesn't matter. I heard Berdie's in a bad way. What exactly happened?"

"Oh, that's an interesting story." The owner folded his hands behind his head, large gray eyes taking on a mischievous glint. "He's a songwriter, a _good_ one. It's what he does for a living, and he's been good enough to make a living off it for centuries. I invited him to write a few songs for the opening festivities, but he started slipping, reneging on the deal. I was paying him big, and he wasn't delivering. So, I cut the credit line and gave him an ultimatum: cough up the songs, or he goes into the pit."

"That seems a little harsh," she grumbled.

"Well, it worked, and he was fine for a while. Then his relationship with Olga got strained and he couldn't pay the bills anymore. Cost of living suddenly went up." Lowering his hands, the owner looked all around, then pointedly at the expensive architecture surrounding the Slaughterhouse. "Started taking loans and placing bets. Couldn't pay the loans, wasn't winning big on the bets. Kept _losing_ money." Suddenly looking at her, his expression turned severe. "He _owes_ me, and it's a kindness I haven't pitched him to the dogs."

"Alright, I get it," she said, nodding. "So, what exactly can _I_ do that will solve this problem?"

"I need some monsters killed. They've been giving me grief and I want them gone, but either the gladiators won't fight them or they get eaten. It's expensive, and I'm getting tired of it." The owner shifted his weight, then placed his hands on his hips, all pretense of youthful innocence gone. "I might own a lucrative business, sure, but the money has to come from somewhere, and I have to keep a profit."

"So, I fight monsters, and Berdie goes free." She frowned, then shrugged and nodded. "Alright, I'll do it. When do you need me to start?"

"About twenty minutes. You'll need to sign up with the Slaughterhouse supervisor. She's over there behind the counter." He gestured. "And just so you know, you have to go in alone. If this guy here helps you–" Here, he nodded at Caius. "–then I can't help Olga. If you die, I move on."

She opened her mouth to agree, but Caius moved in her peripheral vision, stepping forward to stand shoulder-to-shoulder with her. "No deal," he said, calmly, but clearly.

"She's the Liberator, she can handle it."

"She is also _far_ too important to lose to something such as this." The burr in his voice was familiar, dangerous, and even though the owner had no doubt heard his share of threats, a visible, if subtle, change came to his features. "You want your monsters gone, she can certainly do that, but if she gets into a situation she cannot escape, where her very life is on the line, _know_ that I will be there. Do you understand?"

The other man studied him for a while, eyes searching his, before he lifted an eyebrow and nodded. "Well, I can see she's very... _special_ to you. Fine. If it comes to that, I won't stop you."

Lightning looked curiously at her companion, but he had not looked away from the owner, and she could glean nothing of what the man spoke of from his expression.

"You have yourself a deal," she said, extending a hand. He shook it, looking pleased.

"Good. There's five rounds, but you're tough enough to take it. Go sign up with Zoe before you do _anything_ else, and make sure you're ready. Stock up if you need items."

"Before you go," she said, "tell me one thing. What does this place have to do with Serendipity?"

He shrugged. "Hard to explain, but it 'melded' with this place. You can see it all around. The chocobo girls, the ones that aren't human? They're from there. And, you know, the owner of Serendipity?" He placed both hands on his hips. "Well, he's still here, too, but not in a form you'd recognize. The betting, the gambling, the drinking, the girls... it's all from there. For a place Etro supposedly blessed, it sure was salacious."

Lightning frowned. "Sounds like it. But there's more to it, isn't there?"

"Of course there is. But some mysteries aren't meant to be solved, you know." The man smirked. "This place has more to do with Serendipity, with me, than you know... but you'll only ever find out what you need to know." He fell back into his original demeanor and strolled away before she could say anything else, wondering right back into the crowds from which he had approached.

Lightning faced Caius. "You don't need to protect me all the time, you know," she said. "I can handle myself."

"I have complete confidence in your abilities," he said.

"Then why did you–"

"At this point, if I must reiterate your importance, you are being intentionally obtuse," he told her, sternly cutting her. "Beyond that, does it matter? As long as you are safe and you can save the people of this world, does it _really_ matter?"

She thought she saw something else in his eyes, something warm, yet badly strained, but couldn't name it. "No," she admitted.

After signing up with Zoe, they loitered around the Slaughterhouse plaza for the next twenty minutes. The sky grew darker, more stars coming out, the glow of the city lightly brushing the firmament, the light of the torches around the plaza casting black shadows across the stone. Though they did not speak, they stood close to one another, watching the crowds and occasionally eyeing the two gorgon in the cage.

Caius did not need to express his feelings in words, clearly written in his eyes and the lines of his body.

Finally, the gate to the main Slaughterhouse plaza opened, and a host of gladiators, including herself, filed inside. She hesitated on the other side and looked back, seeing Caius standing where she had left him, but when their eyes met, he nodded to her. She lingered long enough to watch him make his way to the stadium seating with the rest of the crowd, and she continued on with the flow of contestants.

The plaza here was narrower and longer, contestants sorted into groups or filed into special areas, where they were checked and fitted where necessary. There were about two dozen of them, some in teams, others in pairs, and others completely alone. Most looked confident. Others looked bored.

She looked around with some admiration. There were some here who were very seasoned, she could tell.

"Hey," Someone poked her elbow; she looked to see a boy, probably no older than eleven, looking up at her and frowning. "What's your name?"

"Lightning," she said. "It's on the registration I filed with Zoe."

"Don't get smart with me." Looking disgusted, he held up a piece of paper, then nodded. "Alright, you're on the first round. Doesn't say what you're up against, so be ready for anything." He hesitated, then looked her up and down. "Looks like you've got that covered, though."

She thought of Caius and his insistence on being allowed to save her from death, if it came to that. "Sure."

"I'll give you a rundown," he said. "You'll receive payment when you finish all rounds. Partials are not allowed, and your associates don't collect if you die or otherwise fail. All opponents must be eliminated to complete a challenge. Once you're finished, the owner will process your payment and release Berdie to you. Get in." He pointed at a narrow chute leading to the main Coliseum.

Lightning brushed past him and climbed into the chute. With a _clang_, a gate slammed shut behind her, and for a brief time, she stood in near-darkness, with only the light of the torches leaking through cracks and holes.

Then the cheering started, and the gate before her slid open.

Lightning squared her shoulders and walked out onto the sandy floor of the Coliseum. The crowd roared around her, nearly deafening her with the noise; she strode forward with confidence, the reassuring weight of her sword making her feel bigger than everything around her.

At the far side stood a gate made of iron with only darkness behind it.

"Here we have our first contestant of the night, Lightning!" a voice over the loudspeaker proclaimed. "Supposedly, she was there at the fall of Cocoon and even fought as a knight for Etro herself! We were never able to figure out how that works, though, folks, so take it with a grain of salt!"

For a moment, the cheers were joined by laughter, but was quickly drowned out again.

"Lightning is here for the Death Game! Five grueling rounds against some of very _toughest_ and undefeated monster champions, some of whom eat folks the size of Lightning as a snack. Are you _ready_, Slaughterhouse fans?" The cheering grew even more ridiculous in response. "Sounds like we're all eager to see the show. Let's see what our newest contestant can give us! Begin round one!"

The gate opened with a loud grinding sound; Lightning lifted the sword off her back, swung it once, and assumed a battle stance, shield at the ready, staring into the darkness.

A swarm of dark specks came out of the gate, wandered around, then came directly for her.

She felt the corner of her lips twitch – niblets, small, furry, round creatures who were capable of delivering a nasty bite, but were only really a problem if she let them get too close. She wasn't planning on it. If that was the best the Slaughterhouse owner could come up with, this would be easy.

"Don't get too bored just yet, folks," the announcer said. "Niblets are just the first. You'll _want_ to be placing some sizable bets by the time we reach round two! And just wait until you see round _five_ – if she makes it!"

The smirk dropped off her face.

As the swarm approached her, she looked up into the audience, feeling something tug at the ambient chaos all around her. Her eyes found Caius in short order, on her left and about halfway up the seating, the only one not moving, arms folded and gazing directly at her. Taking a deep breath, she faced the niblets, dug in her heels, and launched herself, thinking that at least the job of the Liberator wasn't boring.

* * *

_I apologize about the wait, folks, it's been a very rough month for me. That being said, I did write when I could. Anyway, not much to say about this chapter other than I quite enjoyed writing Caius and Lightning's interactions and developing their relationship further. Please let me know what you think!_


	37. Unity

_**36 Unity**_

At the end of round three, Lightning began to understand why she was needed.

Her muscles had begun to ache from the work of swinging her sword and bashing her shield into her opponents. Her knees and feet hurt from sudden movements and scurrying about in the several inches of grit underfoot. Her lungs had begun to burn a little, and her breathing rasped a bit through her throat. Her great strength, power, and agility did not help her here – never before had she been subjected to so many opponents coming at her at once, for so many minutes... she'd lost track of time entirely.

The first round, consisting entirely of niblets beyond count, had been simple enough. Lots of sidestepping, slashing, kicking, and bashing with her shield. The second, she'd had to face several dog-headed beasts with axes, who moved much faster than their bulk appeared capable of. Those had taken longer to dispatch, and though she had unleashed the power that had let her dash around her opponents and fill the air with shimmering energy, each time she used it left her more and more depleted. Now, she couldn't even _think_ of using it without her whole body rising up in protest and a muscle spasming somewhere.

Round three had given her a dragon with scales red as fire, but it had belched ice instead of flame, chilling her body and dropping her core temperature until her head ached and she could barely think. Huge and hulking, it did not move so fast, but its skin was covered in natural armor plating, and below that, tough skin inches thick. By the time she had felled it and its blood painted the ground, everything burned.

The audience cheered her on even when she stumbled in the sand or missed a stroke... or when the dragon had unexpectedly bashed her with its tail and sent her flying.

She reminded herself that she did this for Berdie, and Olga, and for the Slaughterhouse owner. None of it would matter in a few days, but they didn't know that. Besides, all of these monsters had killed and tasted blood. They had to be stopped sooner or later.

If _she_ was having trouble keeping up, normal people would only do _far _worse.

In the moment before round four began, she leaned on her sword and caught her breath. The crowd stomped and cheered until her ears rang; she bared her teeth and swung her sword up, stained with the blood of the creatures she had fought, watching it glint in the torchlight. It took some effort to do it, and that shoulder burned in response, so she lowered it again after a few moments, then looked at Caius.

Still the only one not moving, he gazed at her from a distance, violet and black amongst the din.

Shaking her head and pushing her sweat-dampened tresses back, she moved to a clear part of the arena, hoisted her sword and shield, and faced the iron gate, ready for the next fight. The announcer said something, but she couldn't make out words – and at this point, it really didn't matter.

The sound of metallic clanking came to her before the gate ground open. Torchlight glinted off hydraulics, while large feet designed to distribute the weight of the machine clomped on the ground. Chains dangling, steam hissing from vents on either side of the main armored body, a dreadnought, discolored from great age, porous from its time in the weather, moved into the circle of orange light.

And behind it, a little misshapen and bearing the scars of many fights, came a second.

Lightning swallowed hard and forced herself to concentrate. She had encountered her fair share of such automatons on Gran Pulse, but that had been with her five companions. Alone, against two machines, she would have to change her strategy quite drastically if she was to survive.

_Caius is here_, a voice whispered in the back of her mind. _He won't let you die_.

She gritted her teeth, wishing she didn't have to rely on him extending a hand if she made a fatal error, but knowing she could not afford to turn down his aid. So far, he had allowed her to fight and stand on her own, trusting her to do well, to live, to not make any stupid mistakes.

If she kept her focus, moved on instinct, she could keep it that way to the very end of all five rounds.

Then she would _definitely_ take another shower, and a nap.

The dreadnoughts advanced slowly enough to let her size them up. The damaged one moved with difficulty, the hydraulics of one leg barely doing the minimum to keep that side upright, but its claws were still in good condition, the chambers in each arm still venting excess heat from the mysterious systems that kept it supplied with fuel it could use to scorch. The other was in better condition, though almost as weathered, and moved stiffly, but upright, chains clanking and claws flexing.

Lightning deepened her stance a little, bending her knees further. Separating the weaker one from the larger one would be ideal, but difficult without the help of another to act as a distraction. Blasting them with ice and cold air would probably help, but she would need to avoid the super-hot jets of flame from their arms, and their tendency to launch spheres of incendiary materials at their enemies, which usually carried shrapnel, made that idea harder to pull off. Wearing them down was another option... but she herself stumbled toward exhaustion. The arena was plenty large enough for maneuvering, but she couldn't figure out how to make use of it.

Then they were too close for her to afford to keep standing there thinking, so she moved, darting around them, hitting them simultaneously with a blast of icy air.

As the ice darkened the sand, the audience went crazy and the machines stumbled.

Lightning darted in, slashing with her sword, sending blasts of ice and cold air into every nook and cranny she could see, but failed to see one of the machines spinning its body toward her and ended up knocked some distance away from the blow of one of its arms. Though she tucked and rolled with it, the impact still rattled her bones and left her a little bit breathless when she ended up back on her feet.

She brought her sword up. Pain shot through her shoulder and seemed to split her in half, ripping down to her hip; she sucked air through her teeth and shook her head. Bhunivelze had given her great power, strengthened her bones with crystal energy, gave her the ability to wield power like a l'Cie at the peak of their capabilities, and yet here she was, limping about like a normal human being.

Was Bhunivelze draining her power, free of Caius's chaos to shield her?

Running back into the fray, she conjured a blast of energy that _boomed_ with a crack of thunder, seemingly splitting the world around her wide open, forcing the machines to stumble back. As one of them wavered, she attacked the weaker one's bad leg, smashing the hydraulics apart, then igniting it with a blast of lightning and fire. Just as she rolled away from it, something exploded and black smoke billowed out.

The crowd roared; the machine fell on that side.

Then the other one slammed an arm down in front of her, startling her and forcing her to move away, tipped off balance by the strike. It attacked again, belching flames from both arms.

Unleashing a warrior's shout, she dodged, the heat from the flames making sweat pop out across her body, then swung up and bashed one of the arms away with her sword. Again, she struck, over and over, then crouched as it swung again, the air rushing over her head and blowing her hair around. Her knees screamed in protest when she straightened again. _Just a little longer_, she thought to herself, and launched herself away toward the broken machine that struggled to move. Though it tried to attack her with napalm from its arms, she carefully made her way outside the reach of the extreme heat and made a hit-and-run on the other leg.

Something exploded on the ground, shrapnel and sand spraying into the air. The sudden concussive force threw her to the ground, tumbling. For a moment, her vision went dark.

_How could I let this happen_, she thought to herself. _How am I so weak?_

Panting, she hauled herself to her feet... and right into another blast, this time from the crippled machine. Knocked off her feet, she rolled, but her vision darkened again. She tasted blood; a moment of scrutiny revealed that her teeth had pierced the edge of her tongue, and now blood pooled on that side of her mouth. She spit it out, climbed back to her feet... and a wave of vertigo brought her to her knees, hitting hard enough to make her head hurt.

Groaning, shaking her head, she rose to her feet again, head spinning, understanding coming to her. Before, all her battles had been fierce, but brief. Hope had warned her, again and again, that she was not invincible – she could be badly hurt, or even killed, even with Bhunivelze's enhancements.

Fighting battle after tiring battle, trying her powers and endurance and the limits of her body, had begun to wear through even her superhuman abilities.

Crying out with a warrior's ferocity, she scrambled to her feet, ignoring the way the ground seemed to tip beneath her for a moment, and faced the machine bearing down on her, both arms aimed at her. In the split second that she realized that and changed tactics, it opened fire.

Having no other choice, she fell straight down, onto her stomach, and rolled sideways. In the process, she lost her grip on her sword, and could make no effort to retrieve it before the dreadnought belched flame her way again and sent her scurrying away.

In desperation, she threw out a blast of energy behind her, but couldn't turn around. Finally skidding to a stop, she took a quick look to see that her sword was plainly visible... and the dreadnought in good shape stood directly over it as though fully aware of its purpose, rotating its claws threateningly, flames flicking from the barrels. The other one, swaying very unsteadily and still billowing black smoke, wobbled toward her.

Lightning swore under her breath. This would be tricky.

It was then she saw something move in her peripheral vision – a flicker of movement, black as night, and when she turned her head, it was to see Caius standing in the arena, knees bent into an energetic battle stance, and in one hand, he held his sword, glinting in the torchlight.

She frowned. She might have been disarmed, but she wasn't incapable of defending herself...

Then he took another step, vanishing and reappearing a short distance away, flipped the sword over so that the point was aimed at the sky, met her eyes, and threw it, grip-first, at her.

Lightning extended a hand on instinct, shocked that he would do such a thing, but in no position to argue, and the grip, as though guided by some unseen force, smacked her palm at a perfect angle. Her fingers curled around it, and she let the impetus of its foreign weight swing it back, transferring the energy into an arc and her body, causing her to take a step back, but keeping a grip on the weapon.

Caius said nothing, did nothing else, but when she looked at him again, he smirked.

Lightning hefted his sword, the weight balance unusual in her hand, but in an instant, she knew how it was supposed to be wielded – not with finesse, not with showmanship or great skill, but _brutishly_, putting all of one's power and strength into every swing as an extension of their own body... and yet, there needed to exist an element of grace, the very element its owner had so often demonstrated.

Taking it in both hands, she faced the machines, hefting the sword's bulk; she sensed Caius vanish from the arena once more, and she was again on her own.

Foolishly, the machine that could still walk did exactly that, moving toward her.

Lightning charged it, brought the sword around, and put all her strength into the strike, arm muscles bulging with the movement, leg protesting with aches and pains when she put her weight on it. She charged the strike with frost and allowed it to collide with the machine. Ice shattered against the shell, but it also supercooled, steaming in the hot, humid night air. Before it could react, she struck again.

Metal cracked and came apart, scattering across the sand, showering through the air.

Its internal workings exposed, the machine stumbled, and she hacked at the now-exposed joint of its arm, sending another frosty blast into the hydraulics. It stumbled, she leapt, and as it righted itself, she gained purchase and climbed atop the dipping and swaying chassis, thinking as she went.

Its arms were too short to reach her here, instead swinging wildly inches from her head. Panting from the exertion, she cooled the chassis again, then pierced it.

Something exploded in her face; she gasped and nearly slipped, but grabbed a piece of metal jutting from the body and scrabbled until she could just barely balance on a part of its shoulder not made up of joints that could crush her feet. Sparks arced out of the body, so she turned her focus downward, rammed the sword into the joint, and used its bulk as leverage, prying the hydraulics apart. Joints screamed, sparks flew, and coolant spurted as a hose came apart, the sudden release of pressure causing it to flop harmlessly aside.

Using the sword and one foot, she pushed, grunting, until the rest of it split apart, a conduit exploded, and the arm fell to the ground, landing with a _thud_.

The crowd was on its feet now, cheering and stamping thunderously.

The machine stumbled sideways, stunned and pulled off-balance by the sudden removal of the excess weight. Her lungs burned, breath rasping in her throat; dried blood made the corner of her mouth and part of her chin feel both tacky and wet from mingling with sweat. Her joints ached, her legs hurt, and her head had begun to throb, but she refused to give in to her body's growing weakness, swinging herself around to hit the ground and roll, ending up on her feet again. She pivoted, hefting the sword, and struck at the other arm's joint.

The machine groaned in response and stumbled.

The worn-out dreadnought wobbled in her direction, comically wavering back and forth, waving its claws in the air, but not concerning her in the least. She charged, slid under a swing of the arm, and slashed upward as sand sprayed into the air. The impact rattled her spine, but it was worth it as one of the legs creaked.

Tucking her legs, she performed a diving roll out from under the body, then used the momentum to flip over with a hand to end up on her feet, steadying herself with some difficulty.

The worn-out machine fell forward, the one somewhat-working leg desperately digging in, attempting to push itself back upright, but Lightning attacked before it could, through a feverish haze that turned her vision red, hacking at panels, conduits, coolant hoses, _anything_ that looked even remotely vulnerable. When something exploded and coolant sprayed, darkening the sand and making it clump, she scrambled back in time to watch it pitch forward and slide slightly as it landed. A few more pops, and it was no more.

Leaving only the one, working machine.

Lightning faced it, holding the sword in a ready position, as it rather sloppily turned to face her. Coolant dripped from the now-empty arm socket, spattering the sand. The other arm waved in the air, obviously being used to hold the machine as upright as possible, while the body teetered from side to side. The feet clomped across the sand, puffs of dust and grit curling into the air. Panting, rasping with every breath, her arms beginning to tremble, her legs hurting, knees aching, _entire body_ demanding rest, she met it head-on.

By supercooling the other arm's joint, the coolant froze and broke the hoses when it suddenly warmed again; that arm flopped to the side, joints grinding loudly as coolant gushed into the air. The machine vented steam and came after her again, but she swung and struck. Metal shattered, shrapnel flying, some of it gouging her skin, but she dodged the worst of it, turned, and threw a sizable electrical charge at its back.

And with the grinding sound of broken gears, it toppled forward and crashed into the sand, causing it to geyser into the air around it, and lay still.

The crowd went berserk, screaming and stamping and cheering. Lightning raised the sword overhead, shouting back in a grand show, and let their approval sink in before letting the sword's tip drop back to ground. She walked to her broken red blade and picked it up. Holding both swords now, at her sides, she gulped air, taking the brief moments between rounds to gather strength for the final one.

"Would you _believe_ it, folks!" the announcer shouted over the din. "She survived _four rounds_ of the Death Game! That's approximately, oh, I don't know, _three more_ than the usual contestant! If you're betting on this girl, I think it's safe to say she has a _very good_ chance of winning it all!"

That brought even more raucous cheering from the crowd; she rolled her shoulders and rammed Caius's sword into the body of one of the machines, where she could grab it if necessary. Making her way around the bodies of her slain enemies – except the niblets, who had all simply puffed into wisps of chaos after being defeated, and the dog-like monsters, which had slowly dissolved away – she gave herself a clean shot to the gate.

After that show, what else could _possibly_ be waiting?

"Well, since she survived so long, let's give her the grand prize, shall we? This creature has _never_ been defeated in all the centuries it's existed, having slain _literally_ everyone who's tried to fight it, and usually did so in the span of thirty seconds or less. Can she beat the record? Let's find out!"

The gate ground open, and Lightning felt a sinking sensation. Whatever was waiting for her, it would be the worst of the lot, and she was running out of energy.

Torchlight gleamed on two long, slender blades and glittered orange on a white crystalline shell. A face tinged blue and set on a short, narrow neck stared back at her, eyes and mouth frozen in a look of fury. On thin, bowed legs, it walked out from the shadows and faced her, tendrils wriggling on its back.

"You have _got_ to be kidding me," she muttered, staring with mouth agape. "A _Cie'th_?"

With unexpected speed, it ran toward her, bringing its swords around like a pincher; she rolled to the side, hanging on to her sword, and clumsily deflected the blades before flipping over onto her feet... in time to receive a faceful of energy that knocked her clean away. For a moment, she hung suspended in midair, landing and skidding, and her vision filled with spots. Pain split her skull as every joint turned to needles.

Gasping for breath, she turned over, trying to stand, but the Cie'th was already on top of her, bringing the swords down with the obvious intention of neatly cutting her into pieces.

There just wasn't enough time to move.

Then the blades struck a bar of pink energy fringed in darkness that caused it to screech and stumble back. Lightning lifted her head to see Caius standing near her. As she watched, he hit the monster again, this time with a blast strong enough to send it flying halfway across the arena. It landed with swords clanging.

"That is an Undying," he said as he came to her and extended a hand. "You can't face it alone."

Lightning knew better than to argue, for he spoke the truth. Gripping his hand tightly, she allowed him to pull her upright, and together, they faced the Cie'th. "Plan, then?" she said, wrapping her fingers as tight as she could around the handle of her sword. "I mean, you have one, right?"

"We will have to pierce the crystal in its chest," he told her. "To do so, dismember it."

"Right," she muttered as it charged them. "Easy."

As the Cie'th reached them, it moved the swords so fast that they seemed to teleport from one point to another, and she blocked one strike inches from her neck before kicking it away. She and her party had faced Undying before, in their exploration of Gran Pulse. They had occasionally come across them by accident, and it had taken all six of them to bring just one down. With speed, power, and abilities surpassing normal Cie'th or mortal l'Cie, they could turn the tide of battle so fast that it was like fighting rage itself.

But _this_ was not the gray, scarred husk of a Gran Pulse Cie'th. It had the sweeping, blue-tinted white shell of a Cocoon Cie'th, something she hadn't seen in _centuries_.

Then it went for Caius and knocked him off his feet; he landed with a sharp grunt some distance away, but rolled onto his feet once more. Eyes fierce, he attacked with all his power, forcing the monster to stumble and claw for purchase, going for the arms and legs. Screeching again, it attacked with a flurry of strikes; Caius dodged most of them, but a few bit into his armor, leaving scrapes and nicks.

She barely ducked a mad swing at her head, having to fall almost to her knees, and looked up to see it quickly turn and bash Caius in the chest with an uppercut; he grunted and fell back, hard. Tucking his knees, he quickly managed to flip back over onto his feet, in time for another swing aimed at his neck.

He fell straight down, rolled sideways, and blasted the swords away as the Cie'th twittered and came after him again. It stumbled instead and chittered.

Lightning made a swing at one of its arms, missed, and was kicked instead.

She lay on the sand a moment, too dazed to move, and blinked through the reddish blur to see Caius toe-to-toe with the creature, avoiding numerous swings with both swords with only hairs' breadths to spare, before he kicked out, swatted one of the arms aside as it stumbled, then rammed the blade free from its grip. It glinted evilly, bounced once, and skidded to a halt out of the creature's immediate reach.

The Cie'th screeched and twitted, headbutted him hard enough to force him back a few steps, turned, and made a beeline for the fallen sword... only to be struck from behind with a powerful explosion of raw energy. It screamed a bloodcurdling cry before crashing headlong into the ground.

Caius vanished and reappeared over the fallen sword, picked it up, aimed, and threw it. As she struggled to climb to her feet, it was in time to watch it wink out of existence into a rift in the chaos.

"It will not be down long." He helped her up. "Are you alright?"

"Ask me when we're done," she wheezed, and felt her stomach knot up at Caius's furrowed brow and the shadow of concern in his eyes. He touched her shoulder, lightly, but quickly turned his attention back to the Cie'th – and not a moment too soon, as the creature was already charging them.

At the same instant, both warriors raised their hands and sent out brilliant, powerful pulses of energy; they melded and collided in midair, weaving together in a tapestry of scintillating color, before exploding outward. The Cie'th screamed again as it was tossed away like a rag doll, landing and rolling, sword clanging on the ground while its limbs flopped about as though lifeless.

She exchanged a look with Caius, and he raised one eyebrow.

Then she charged, dodging scraps of metal and the remains of the red dragon, raising her shield before her and hunkering down behind it, and rammed into the Cie'th with all the strength she had left. Her vision turned to red fire, vertigo overcame her, and she fell limply with the monster. It squirmed and squealed under her, kicking at her, but she used her sword and shield to deflect most of the blows as she fought for purchase. Finally, when one foot hit the sand, she twisted, flipped her sword's edge to face the other way, and sliced.

It missed the arm holding the remaining sword, but shattered the empty one. Pieces of crystal rained into the air, and the creature tried even harder to boot her off.

With a great deal of effort, arms trembling, she twisted and swung again, at the arm holding the sword, but missed, and as Caius appeared in her peripheral, moving to intercept the arm – probably to pin it down – the Cie'th threw her off and, in a single clean movement, rammed its sword through his heart.

Caius's entire body spasmed at the impact, expression twisted in one of pain, eyes shut tight. Blood was visible, running down the blade; the Cie'th pulled him closer before kicking him away.

He fell and lay without moving, blood staining the sand.

Lightning knew he would be fine. He was immortal, and the Yeuls would never allow anything to happen to him that they could prevent... yet the sight of him there, prone and powerless, even if it would only be a few seconds, made her pounding heart skip a beat and her throat tighten.

With no more time, she quickly turned, slid down onto one knee to avoid a wickedly fast strike that narrowly missed her head, and swung in an arc upward.

An inches-long, deep gash tore into its side, sparkling. Further up, she divided the arm cleanly into two pieces about halfway along the forearm. The severed half of the limb exploded into dust.

She shifted to aim at the crystal, but it used its two remaining limbs to kick her off. She nearly dropped her sword again, landing on her back with all the wind knocked out of her. Entire body protesting the very _concept_ of standing again, she gasped for air and barely brought up her sword in time as the beast attacked her with what was left of one arm and its two large, blue-white feet.

Twisting this way and that allowed her to avoid most of the strikes, and she battered the legs with her sword, though admittedly clumsily, until she finally knocked it back.

That was when its feet left the ground, and it rose swiftly into the air, lifted by a geyser of darkness tinted with purple, and as it flailed and screeched so loudly that her head rang, she watched bands of energy, like those that had pinned Snow to the floor, wrap around it, tightening fast. She scrambled to her feet, the ground swaying beneath her, and watched in satisfaction as it slammed hard enough into the ground to make a crater.

Lightning didn't hesitate, pitching out a ball of blazing energy that exploded on impact. Grit and dust showered into the air; she pushed herself forward, her whole body on fire.

A few more feet. Inches. _Millimeters_–

Crying out, from pain and the fierceness only a warrior could know, she leapt clumsily onto the Cie'th, pinning it to the ground, and as it screamed, she sank her broken sword straight through the crystal. The torso cracked open like an egg; an explosion of crystalline dust swirled and sparkled all around her. It screamed, raged, flailed, but began to weaken quickly. She scrambled back, tripped, and toppled onto her back and hands, wheezing, rasping, watching through the shadowy haze as the crystal broke free and exploded in a shower of sparks and light.

And with that, the Cie'th's suffering ended.

A lengthy silence followed... and then the crowd rose stamping and screaming to its feet, the noise utterly deafening. Caring nothing for appearances, and too exhausted to do anything else, she collapsed on her back, struggling to breathe, throat sore and raw while her lungs burned as though on fire. Every breath scorched them; her vision sparkled and blurred and turned red. Vertigo overcame her.

"Lightning," she heard her companion say, and heard him land on his knees beside her. Hands landed on her shoulders, holding her, but gently.

She blinked away the haze, still gasping, to see Caius's dark eyes gazing into hers.

"Don't worry," she told him. Battling exhaustion, she sat up, swiping sweat-drenched hair out of her eyes and away from her face, then wiping at her mouth. Blood darkened the glove and smeared across her skin, sticky and smelling like rusted metal in the humid, hot air. "I shouldn't have been _that_ weak," she growled, glaring at the destruction around her. "Bhunivelze gave me much more power than this. Shouldn't have been a problem."

"Lightning," Caius said, "you fought for forty minutes."

Whatever bravado she'd had died on her lips, and she stared at him, mouth hanging open. _Forty minutes_? She had fought for _that long_, yet only now was she collapsing into near-death exhaustion?

"I... I didn't..." At a loss, she kept staring.

"You seem to be fine," he murmured as he looked her over. Avoiding his eyes, she slowly climbed to her feet, body heavy and bones screaming for rest, and dusted herself off. "I apologize if it seemed as though I did not trust you to finish on your own. I was–" His mouth closed; she looked at him, but he said no more.

"No," she said. Reluctantly, she met his eyes. "I'm... glad you did."

His features softened, and he nodded.

The announcer was saying something, but Lightning wasn't paying attention and didn't care much. Slowly, her heart slowed again and her breathing stopped rasping, though now she realized she felt thirsty. A couple of wounds needed tending to, and she would need to wash the blood, sweat, and grime off again.

"I don't dare look in a mirror," she muttered. "How bad do I look?"

Caius gazed at her a moment, then smirked faintly. "Well... let me say I have seen worse."

She groaned and waved a hand dismissively at him, making him snort softly in amusement at her back when she turned it to him. As she looked around, she saw a team of staff running out onto the sands, including the boy who had herded her into the chute.

"The Slaughterhouse owner accepts your triumph as sufficient payment." The boy scoffed at her. "You can go meet him in the main lobby. His name is Sagan. He'll see you first."

"Thanks," she said, and began to jog.

Before she had taken a dozen steps, her breath wheezed out, and she nearly stumbled. Throat still raw, lungs still burning, legs and knees still aching... she was below her acceptable minimum, beaten down by forty minutes of grueling rounds in a tournament likely no one had survived before her. Forced to proceed at a walking pace with Caius keeping pace beside her, she occupied her mind, distracting herself from the pain, by turning her thoughts to the Cie'th. Even if it was a Cie'th turned on Cocoon, that would have been at least a thousand years ago, with the possibility of it being far more. As an Undying, it would've had to exist for at least a few centuries, and there were no more Cocoon fal'Cie to transform people into tools like that now. Perhaps it had been holed up inside one of the Arks, skulking about, waiting for an opportunity to escape.

And if _that_ was the case, where had it been during the previous thousand years, after Cocoon's fall? Had it fallen into the chaos as well, or simply not been encountered?

As they neared the exit, Lightning said, "Caius, the Cie'th... it was a Cocoon Undying."

"Yes," he said, "and I see where you're going with that thought."

"Any theories? Ideas of any kind?"

"A few, yes. But I doubt any of them are valid, and for now, it hardly matters."

He was being practical, she knew, not wanting to distract either of them with topics that had nothing to do with what was going on, and for that, she could let it go.

Eventually, they circled around to the lobby, an atrium connected to the main Slaughterhouse by a narrow, rough-hewn tunnel filled with colorful lights and the throbbing beat of energetic drums. It sounded as though Yusnaan's nightlife was in full swing, and as they continued on, her exhausted mind wandered to the reservation slip in her pocket, wondering if it would be so bad to use it themselves.

_No_, she reminded herself, _save Berdie first_.

They encountered the owner – Sagan, she now knew him to be – almost immediately upon stepping inside. Through her exhaustion and pain, a hand lying idly across a wound that had stopped bleeding but was not healing as quickly as it used to, she watched him nod to her and Caius before disappearing into another room. While they waited, she leaned against a pillar, drawing in a few quick breaths, eyelids drooping.

"Lightning." Through her gloves, she felt something cool, and looked down to see a wet rag dripping water pressed into her hand by her companion. She gave him a look of gratitude before using it to wipe her face, turning to look at a dull reflection in a glossy surface making up part of the wall. Ignoring the nips of pain when she touched cuts and bruises, she wiped away grime, sweat, and blood, turning the pale gray rag into a red-brown piece of fabric she immediately afterward tossed in the trash.

"Thanks," she murmured. The cool water felt good against her too-hot skin; she felt her body temperature coming down toward normal levels again as she rested against the pillar.

"Still a little worse for wear, I'm afraid," Caius said. "You have a nick on your chin and bruises all over."

"But I look acceptable, anyway?" she said.

"You are still..." The pause that followed was brief. "...fine."

Lightning had no more opportunity to say anything before Sagan returned, this time with a man in tow who looked like the one in the photograph Olga had given her. Berdie looked frazzled and tired, but he was not restrained in any way, and his relief was obvious. He looked healthy enough, too – it seemed he had not been mistreated. More likely, he had kept himself up worrying instead.

"It'll be good to have him off my hands. He picked at his food and complained." Sagan nudged Berdie toward her. "His debt is repaid, by you. I never want to see you again, Berdie." Sagan kept his voice calm and smiled slightly as he said the last sentence, but the hint of menace was quite clear.

"Uh, noted, yes, of course." His voice was higher than she expected, and flighty, but befitting of his willowy stature and occupation as a songwriter. "Yes, um, are you... you're the Liberator, right? The one who saved me? Does that mean you're taking me home to my dear sweet Olga?"

"Yeah, we're taking you to her. Ready to go?"

"Am I ever!" Berdie sighed and rubbed his wrist with the other hand. "Just to see her again would be worth all the torment of the darkness I've been in all this time. Oh, I know, it was my own fault. I'm terrible sorry. I hope she can forgive me for being away so long. How silly of me."

"Um... I'm sure she will." Lightning gently patted his shoulder. "Let's get out of here."

"Scary for a teenager, isn't he? Gives me the shivers." Berdie wrapped his arms around himself and walked beside her, with Caius bringing up the rear in silence. "I don't think 'Sagan' is even his real name, either. He's, um, well, you could basically call him the heart of the city. Sure, sure, the Patron rules, but Sagan is the one who actually feels the beat. He's the one who pulls the strings, guides the flow, you know? Been doing it for centuries. Everyone leaves him alone. Oh, he's not _bad_, per se, but he's, um, kind of an odd fellow, you know? Oh, but his treatment of me? It was _terrible_. I was only fed twice a day, and..."

Lightning let her mind drift, too tired to focus on more than a few key words, not in poor enough a mood to tell him to cut the chatter. They left the Slaughterhouse district and went straight to the fountain, her leading the way by shouldering a path through the bustling crowds, and Berdie was still talking, interspersed with the occasional nervous mumble, when they finally reached Olga and her posse.

"Olga!" Berdie bounded forward, arms open and extended, directly toward her. "My sweet!"

The woman had done up her hair in shimmering threads of silver decorated with tiny diamonds and donned a floor-length silver dress that glittered like stars and bared her shoulders. When she whirled to face her returning lover, the dress swirled around her like a wave dancing on a jetty, the way the fabric rippled telling demonstrating that it was a light, airy, yet strong fabric. Perhaps silk.

"Berdie? _Berdie_!" Olga shoved her way past a few staff, but instead of returning his embrace, she grabbed his shoulders, stopping him cold. "Where were you? Why did you _leave_ me? How _could_ you?"

"Forgive me," he said, arms dropping, head bowing. "I couldn't return. I was so ashamed. I didn't pay my debt owed to the city, and I was caught for it. But this woman here, she _saved_ me! From what I heard, she was _magnificent_ in the ring, all so I could come back to you, my dear!"

Olga slapped him hard enough to make him stumble back; he nearly lost his balance, but managed to stay on his feet, raising his hands in an obvious show of submission.

"Do you _realize_ what you did to me?" Olga's voice turned chirpy, enraged, and she came for him again, the second slap landing hard enough to be heard from where Lightning stood with her mouth open. "I couldn't sing! No one could compare to the beautiful music you made for me! How _could_ you _leave_ me?"

Two more slaps, hard enough to make him stumble again. As she raised her hand again, Lightning took a few quick steps, grabbed the woman's arm, and wrenched it back, locking her elbow.

"If you _ever_ lay a hand on him in such a way _again_, I'll make sure it's the _last_ time," Lightning hissed.

Olga struggled. "Let go, you _wench_! How _dare_–"

Lightning tightened her grip, pulling Olga's arm back further until it twisted the shoulder. Olga's sentence ended in a sharp yelp, and she immediately stopped struggling, freezing in place. Berdie muttered and chattered a short distance away, making motions with his hands, but she didn't pay attention.

"If you _really_ love him, you'll stop this. He's _obviously_ crazy about you, though I question his tastes. Now, are you going to stop abusing him, or do I have to dislocate this shoulder?"

Olga gritted her teeth, but said, "Yes, I'll stop. Now let me go, _please_."

Lightning was not gentle about doing so, letting go fast enough to make Olga trip on the hem of her dress and nearly fall, but Berdie caught her. For a moment, Olga's eyes were fierce, and she fumed in silence, but her bright-painted lips remained firmly together, and instead she slung both arms around Berdie's neck and let him hug her.

"That may have been a bit much," Caius murmured to her.

"Yeah, well, I kind of learned that's not how you endear yourself to people you love, or who love you." Lightning rolled her shoulders and flexed both hands, then reached into her sling and took out the invitation. Walking up to the couple, who had pulled apart and were now speaking softly to each other, she said, "Hey, since you're back together now, could you by any chance use this?" She held up the slip.

Olga looked at her, scanned the paper, and shrugged one shoulder. "Hardly, we haven't the time. I have a little concert tonight and I can't take the time to do it."

"We would otherwise, though," Berdie said, smiling at her. "Thanks for all your help."

Lightning hesitated, then tucked the slip away and nodded. "Of course."

"Can you stay and watch a bit?" Berdie asked eagerly.

She hesitated. "I suppose," she said.

Berdie took a moment to stroke Olga's hair before she turned and hurried up to the stage set up in front of the fountains. A rainbow of colors shone on the wall behind her, reflecting and sparkling on the water as it danced and flowed. The crowd gathered near the stage hushed as she ascended the small staircase of white steps, picking up the hem of her dress with both hands and revealing silver heels with a gem on each toe. Berdie went over to the grand piano set up near the stage, bowed, and sat at the keys.

Olga began to sing a few moments after the keys began to play a melody, and the voice that came from her throat stood in utter contrast to her chirpy speaking voice – one that flowed like water, gliding around the surroundings as though visible, swirling among the colors and dancing through the air.

But what struck Lightning most were the words. They were familiar words, ones she had heard long ago, sung in a soft voice while her sister stood in the kitchen or overlooked the sea.

It was what she knew as Serah's song.

An unexpected prick of distant emotion slithered through her heart-void; Lightning stood stock-still, staring at the woman as she sang the melody with more heart than she probably actually felt, feeling her hands curl into fists at her sides. Caius stood close to her shoulder, saying nothing, not moving, but she felt the fringes of his chaos brush over her, as though reaching out with great reluctance to her.

Did he sense how she felt?

For a moment, one insane moment, she wanted to move closer, feel him against her, but she got a grip on that urge and reined it in before it could develop further.

She watched as long as she could bear, feeling prickles of emotion at the furthest reaches of her void, before she couldn't stand it any longer and turned away, robes swirling. Dirty, tired, and dehydrated, she left the fountain and its crowds of people, walking without seeing toward the train station. She knew, right then, that if she still had all her emotions, it would hurt, unbelievably, to hear her sister's song.

When she finally stopped, it was to lean briefly against the wall where it turned a corner to follow the stairs up to the Glutton's Quarter and the station beyond.

Faintly calloused fingers, cool against her skin, brushed her arm. "That bothered you."

"Look, I'm just..." But when she turned her head and saw him with brow furrowed, hand resting against her armor, his skin on hers, she couldn't lie. "Maybe... a little."

"Are you alright otherwise?" Caius's voice was softer than she'd ever heard it.

Not so long ago, she would have pulled out of his grip... but right then, she needed it. Needed to know she wasn't alone. Needed to know someone was _there_ and she was _alive_. "I admit, I've been better," she murmured, and let her gaze fall. "I mean, I know she's... coming back. I _know_ she is. But it's..." Sighing, she rubbed a hand across her face, feeling pricks of pain beneath her fingers. "...so tiring."

"It will be over soon," he said. His hand still rested on her arm. "All of this will be nothing but a memory."

"Three days after this one," she said. "Only three days."

"You need not worry," he said. "At the end of those three days, it is over for _good_."

Rubbing a hand across her face, she nodded and moved toward the train station. As she entered the Glutton's Quarter, she thought of the reservation still tucked in her bag and touched it with her fingertips when she reached without thinking under the flap. It wasn't eleven yet. There was no reason to use it. She was dirty, bloodied, bruised, and exhausted. She didn't fit in a place like the Banquet, didn't fit among the well-to-dos and posh aristocrats who could afford the exquisite meals they served. And _yet_...

"I want to try something," she said, and turned to ascend the stairs to the Banquet. Caius followed without question, footfalls swift but quiet behind her.

It was just after nine, and the Banquet was full except for two spots – one in the center and one near the balcony. The cooks were busying themselves at the back, steam and smoke curling into the air, while the waiter flitted from patron to patron, taking orders and smiling the entire time. She pulled out the reservation as she waited at the entrance and studied it again, but the beautiful paper seemed to blur before her eyes; she ducked her head, brushing her wrist across her forehead.

"Lightning." Caius sounded worried.

"It's fine," she said. "I'll be better after I eat. If I can eat here."

"I doubt they will turn away a paying customer, even if that customer is dirty and bloodied. They seemed to almost worship the gladiators in this city. You will be fine." His voice was calm, soothing, and she felt her frazzled nerves soften a bit as she listened to him. She could still hear a faint warble, the hint of worry, but he hid it well – centuries of practice, she suspected.

After a few minutes, the waiter came over with a smile. "Good evening," he said in soft, pleasant accent. "Do you have a reservation?"

"Sort of." She held the paper out to him. "We're, ah, early."

He hummed and looked over the paper. The smile faded a bit. "Ah... I see. Lennet gave you this. I suspected he would do as much." He looked at her again. "Yes, you're early, but as you can see, we have two tables available."

"Won't that step on someone else's toes?"

"Hardly. We had three cancellations already tonight." The waiter's brow furrowed, but it faded quickly enough that she couldn't pin down what had caused it. "As you can see, you have two options. Which would you prefer?"

"It..." She looked around. "It doesn't matter."

The man looked between them, smiled, and led them to the table near the balcony. From here, Lightning had a good view of the city, the stars, and the fireworks going off overhead – starbursts of color with a few seconds between each one, muffled _booms_ rippling through the noise of the party on the streets. She barely noticed when a menu was laid in front of her, exhaustion causing her to fixate on the fireworks.

Caius sat across from her, hands folded, back straight. A menu had been laid in front of him, but he made no move to reach for it. She opened hers, but the text swam before her eyes; she shook her head and tried her best to concentrate on what she saw, but it had become an ongoing struggle.

While she tried to make up her mind, Caius sat in silence, sometimes glancing at her, but his eyes strayed out to the fireworks often.

She squeezed the menu between her fingertips. "The fireworks shows in Bodhum were always worth looking forward to," she said. "This reminds me of them. I wonder if... if Snow asked for them because it reminds him of Serah, or something." Frowning slightly, she took a moment to select something from the menu, then folded it and set it aside with the other. "He proposed to her under fireworks like this. I wasn't happy."

He looked at her. "That sounds as though you put it mildly."

Lightning nodded and glanced at a couple who stood at the balcony, close to one another, chatting idly, holding hands, her leaning against his shoulder.

"She told me he proposed the same day she revealed herself to be a Pulse l'Cie. I didn't believe her, pushed her away, and she went to Snow. When I didn't believe her, didn't want her, Snow opened his arms and took her without question." Looking down at the table, she rubbed her fingertips across it. "Wonder what that must be like. Having someone at your side, unquestioning, eternal. Like there's nothing they want more than to be _with_ you."

"You may find that in the new world, Lightning."

"Yeah, but..." She frowned. "I wouldn't know what to do with that. I've always been alone. And when Serah goes off with Snow, well..." She stopped when the waiter came over, and did not resume until he had walked out of earshot, lowering her voice so only he could comfortably hear it. "I'll be alone. I can deal with that, but... I've never... _really_ been alone in my whole life."

"Can you not stay with her?" he said, looking right at her with concerned eyes.

"I... maybe. I don't know." Leaning on one elbow, she rubbed a hand across her face. "I don't really want to think about it right now, anyway. Got more important things to do right now, like focus on getting this done." She rested her chin in that hand and met his eyes. "And then, what about you? Are you going to keep following me?"

"Until the end," he said without hesitation.

Despite her exhausted mind, she smiled slightly. "You seem so determined to make things right."

"I am," he murmured. "Don't be concerned with the future just yet. It is very bright for you, and all the others who fought alongside you. You will never be alone."

"I think I will be." Turning, she looked away from the Banquet and directly at the fireworks. "I'm not all together, Caius, even when I have my heart intact. Pieces of me just don't make sense together. Who would want a mess like me? Besides..." Trailing off, realizing who she was speaking to, she glanced sidelong at him, then crossed one leg over the other and folded her arms, cutting herself off, refusing to speak further.

"You would be surprised," he said gently. "Just give it time."

Lightning didn't answer him, finding her eyes drifting to the couple at the balcony. There she saw Serah and Snow, but felt a faint pang of longing at it as well. Not that she would admit to anyone, of course. Not even herself. All she saw there, of course, was a memory of friendship, comrades, who fought false gods to secure freedom for humanity's future, and they were about to do it again. They would fell Bhunivelze and take the new world from him as though it had never been his to begin with.

And they, only then, would they truly be free from the influence of his ilk.

There was no longing at all there for someone at her side, the touch of his hand on hers, a strong shoulder to bear her weight when her legs inevitably failed, someone who walked the path of life's long journey beside her.

* * *

_Ah, yes, a chapter title with multiple meanings! Sorry about how long this took, I've been extremely busy and often stressed in real life, not to mention getting sidetracked with **Mirror's Edge Catalyst** and also **Mass Effect** again. I do plan on this being my last fic for this fandom, partly because I'm ready to move on and also because the fandom is pretty much inactive, but I will finish this one up. For those of you who enjoy my work, I highly suggest checking out my works in other fandoms once I have time to branch out again. I won't start on any other big fics until this one's done, though, but I plan to be done with this one this year (hopefully by the time FFXV comes out). I have a **Catalyst** sequel/fic idea in mind and a couple of others I really want to work on. Anyway, please let me know what you think! It gives me motivation to finish it out._


	38. Bleeding Through the Cracks

**_36 Bleeding Through the Cracks_**

Caius sat with Lightning for a long time after she finished her meal, listening to her talk about the fireworks of her old hometown and enjoying it. When she hesitated, or expressed, just once, the concern that she bored him, he dismissed it without a thought, content to just _listen_. It was a world he had never known – Cocoon, before the fall, a peaceful enough world she described as beautiful and colorful, though the twinge in her voice told him she had unpleasant feelings toward it she did not wish to elaborate on.

They left a tip with the waiter, and Lightning murmured she had used up almost all the gil she had left to eat that night, but Caius assured her they would find a way regardless.

The walk to the station was quiet, and the ride back to the desert even quieter. Lightning said nothing the entire time and merely sat beside the window, leaning on her elbow, chin propped on her fist. He stayed nearby, standing, one eye on the other passengers in case any of them did anything unusual.

Nothing happened at all.

They walked from the station to Ruffian in silence. She had to stop twice on the way to rest, and the second time, she stared up at the stars as though she had never seen them before, resting against wind-scoured rocks, and he stood nearby, keeping watch, trying not to watch her too closely out of the corner of his eye... but he found himself unable to look away for long, incapable of ignoring her for more than a few moments.

The feeling of dread creeping into his heart was a familiar one.

On the one hand, he hoped to stretch the remaining days out as much as possible. He wanted to know her, but she was not keen on opening up. And that was acceptable. He could be happy with that. Time was not on their side, but he would make use of what little he– of what _they_ had left.

But on the other, he wanted to crack open the earth himself and accelerate the end of the world. The sooner the chaos came, the sooner he could escape from her.

It had begun slowly at first – a cold, hard pressure on his heart, on his mind, on his very bones, crushing him from all sides and ripping him apart from the inside out. Long ago, he had felt something similar, as a Guardian, as he grew attached to Yeul as more than merely his charge. It had always been a struggle to keep her at arm's length, and in the end, he had lost the battle, crushed under her heel as she smiled at him.

The nightmare always repeated itself.

Caius was glad of the silence. It meant he did not have to hear her voice, imprint it any more on his memories. It meant he did not have to speak to her, that voice and her unknowing choice of words tearing him in half and pulled two very different directions.

He was too late to save himself now. Teetering on the brink for far too long, he'd slipped, falling into an abyss from which he could not be rescued. But what was it except an addition to his punishment? Whatever more pain it could inflict upon him was acceptable – penance for inflicting that sort of pain a _thousandfold_ on the inhabitants of this world, so many of whom were now _dead_ and it was _all his fault_, deaths that could have been _perfectly avoidable_ but for his own stupidity. What was a few more wounds _now_? Couldn't he bear them in silence, grit his teeth against the pain and the blood, for the sake of knowing everyone else's was _worse_?

Once upon a time, under similar circumstances, his heart glazed over, and, cold and calculating, he had decided that if the universe had to rot to save the girls he loved, _so be it_.

He would resist now, of course. That was his duty.

So he used the fierce discipline of five long centuries, atop the centuries he'd had already, to tie the pain into a knot, swallow it, and hide it within the deepest depths of himself. Not even Yeul could find it there. She might be able to feel the echoes, but she couldn't determine the source, or know the truth.

And he was Caius Ballad, the most powerful warrior the lands of the old world had ever known. He had been bequeathed with Etro's own heart, helped destroy the armies of Cocoon during the War of Transgression and been there to witness the silence that fell thereafter. He had seen all of history and all its possibilities, traveled to Valhalla and won a war before it had even begun to conquer Yeul's fate.

If he could not conquer his _own_ heart, then he was unworthy of being called a Guardian.

They reached Ruffian, and Lightning said to him, "Are you alright?"

It took him a moment to realize that his frustration had reached his features – a furrow in the brow, a tightening of the skin around his eyes, the way his lips pressed into a thin line. When he met her eyes, he consciously softened his expression and gave her a slight nod, but when her eyes narrowed slightly, he knew he had not fooled her.

"Yes," he said after a moment.

Lightning looked exhausted and dirty, blood still smeared across her sunkissed skin and staining her hair, but she still had a fire in her eyes that he knew too well, dulled by losing her heart, but still _there_. She had stopped outside the golden light spilling from the entrance to Ruffian, but even in the dim light of the desert's night, he could still make out her features, her imperfections...

Caius flexed his fingers, distracting himself, but not well enough. "Shall we keep going?"

She opened her mouth. Closed it. "Caius–"

"It would be best for your health if we did," he cut in before she could say more, aware his tone left no room for doubt. Her voice scratched at him, leaving deep cuts that bled memories and guilt, and the only thing he wanted to do was sit quietly in the shadows and empty his mind. He couldn't do it with her around.

A faint scowl darkened her features; she turned on her heel and marched into Ruffian, looking even worse when she walked into the light. Rips in her robes. Blood smeared on her skin and leaving stains on her armor and in her hair. Bruises, very dark, blue and greenish, smattering her exposed skin. Cuts with ugly scabs. Nicks and scratches. Hair scattered around her shoulders. Darkness under her eyes.

Bhunivelze had whipped his Liberator as hard as he could, and she had soldiered on, spitting in his face, and come out beaten, but very much _alive_. And _far_ stronger.

"Hey, there she–" Fang cut off very suddenly, and her sandles tapped on the hard ground before she came running up to Lightning and looked her over. "Wow. You look _terrible_."

"Yeah." Lightning swatted away an inquisitive hand. "Need rest and to wash up."

"Sure, sure. Go upstairs to the apartments. Grab the first unoccupied one." Fang winced. "Sure there's bound to be at least one, figuring how many we lost so far." She shook her head. "So... what _happened_? You look like you went through a meat grinder... or got punched by a behemoth." Pause. "Several times."

"Fight in the Coliseum. I don't wanna talk about it."

The other woman studied her a moment. "Well... sure, then. Go on."

Lightning said nothing more and continued on toward the apartment area. Caius remained where he was, not daring to follow her – not strong enough to follow her – until she disappeared, and only then did he tear his eyes away and survey the area instead, seeing that much of the damage and rubble had either been repaired or removed, and while the bandits had obviously dwindled in number, they at least seemed relaxed enough to stand on two feet.

It took him a few moments to see Fang gazing at him.

Caius stared back for a long time, waiting for her to speak first, his face a perfect mask of neutrality. He would not crack before her. He had the most practice hiding his thoughts and emotions, centuries of work suppressing light emotion and frustration, and he would not betray himself to her. Instead, he met her eyes directly, lifted his chin and straightened his back and shoulders, and waited for her to speak.

But Fang did nothing of the sort. She only studied him, hands on her hips, and though he did not allow his thoughts to reach his countenance, he could not help feeling curious all the same.

Then her expression became unreadable, and she walked away without a word.

For a few moments, he stared after her, bewildered as to what could have caused that. What had gone through her mind that she had decided he was not worth staying around for?

He forced himself to look away, spotting Noel across the lobby, but the younger man had no obvious interest in coming any closer, only giving him a cold look before turning away, his body language that of uncertainty, of hurt. He caught a glimpse of Sazh, but he faced the other direction, talking with the bandits. Feeling uncomfortable in the faces he did not know, among those who cared little for him regardless of what they knew of him, he left the lobby to walk back out into the dim moonlight beneath a sea of stars.

Drawn to the oasis, he moved to the edge, knelt, and stared into its depths. The blurry reflection of the stars rippled ever so slightly, though he did not touch the water.

When he bent slightly over it, studying its depths, they seemed to gaze back at him. A glimpse into the past, of a crystal-laden shore, blood spattering the sand, sparks raining from collisions with the armor, of her determined face and solemn eyes _daring_ him to try and stop her for good.

Caius recoiled and nearly lashed out at the pool in disgust at himself and the past.

He only hesitated to avoid disrupting its beauty.

Ignored by those in Ruffian, he spent some time there – how long, he did not know for certain – before slipping away into the chaos and rejoining Yeul in the temple. Unlike all the times before, though, he did not greet her. He did not speak at all to her, did not acknowledge her presence, though he melded into the chaos and left the normal, physical world behind for the evening. As his essence drifted about, weaving with the Yeuls as they reached out for him, he did not respond, suspended in place by his own thoughts.

_The darkness in your heart has deepened_, one of them whispered to him. _You are in pain_.

_Is there nothing we can do_, another said.

_We have brought this doom upon you_, another told him. _We are responsible for your pain_.

_But we are here for you, always, our Guardian_, yet another whispered.

_But is it a fate you still desire_, yet another said.

Fewer of the girls than normal wrapped their essence around him, small arms embracing him while they took comfort in his presence. Even now, he could not reject them. Companions they could not be, not truly, to him, but to say he no longer loved them would be an outright lie. He loved them all, dearly. He could never turn them away, or be angry at any one of them for long.

It was just...

Though allowing them to be close to him, he curled up inside himself, leaving them brushing the shell but unable to touch the depths of his heart, and there, he shut out the noise of the chaos, his memories, his thoughts, all bleeding in on the edges of his mind, and sank into the shadows.

As he tried to be alone, as much as he could, he heard them whispering words – _he would never leave us_ and _he hurts too much_ and _you cannot say such things_ – before shutting it out.

Most of all, he just wanted to clear his mind of _her_. He had spent far too much time around her. Spoken to her too much. Seen her hurt. Helped her. Watched with satisfaction as she crushed her enemies without slowing. Heard the pain in her voice, and seen the fire of determination in her eyes. _Too close_. Always _too close_.

The same mistake, repeated endlessly, like a sick poem.

And it was _his own fault_ it happened.

Caius tried to crawl deep inside himself, away from the world and the chaos and the girls, but no matter how far he went, nothing could completely block the voice dripping guilt and poison into his heart.

* * *

"You intrigue me, Liberator. You were incredibly foolish to defy me, and yet you seem to have grown stronger in the absence of my watch. And still you fight, onward to a finish line you cannot fully see, toward dreams you cannot fully realize. Though I have thrown obstacles in your path and unleashed my wrath in the form of new tools, it seems that, perhaps, you will still be worthy of my love, after all."

Bhunivelze spoke in the voice of his host, the boy named Hope, and she saw his ghost faint in the shadows. It made her whole body tense, but in the sleep paralysis, she couldn't move.

"Pass my tests," he said, a shadowed smile directed her way, "and prove your worth."

"I don't have to prove _anything_ to you," she said, forming coherent words with some effort through the thick haze of waking. Her tongue felt as though it were numb, her mind not yet awake enough to control it properly, but she spoke clear enough to be understood by anyone who listened. "You'll die like all the others I faced."

And then she was awake, the ghost of Bhunivelze instantly vanishing, and groaned. At least he couldn't invade her dreams, but he could disturb her anyway, when her mind struggled between sleeping and waking. She had returned to the Dead Dunes to wash up and sleep, and based on the sun angle, it was late morning now. For once, she didn't much care, especially knowing that Bhunivelze still watched her, and took her time getting out of bed.

She had slept in a shift apparently made of cotton that felt nice on her skin and let it breathe in the warm night air, but she had still managed to work up a sweat and wasted little time removing it in the water closet as she doused herself with cool water from the tap. When she had asked where the water came from, Adonis had responded that it was from a well tapping a spring deep below their feet, filtered by layers of basalt and other rock to leave it cool and sweet on the tongue, with a tinge of minerals.

Once she had redressed in her armor, she came down to the lobby to find it almost silent except for someone sweeping nearby, whom she couldn't see. Without even looking, she could feel Caius's presence, somewhere to her right, but he made no move to come closer, for now.

The ruins had been cleaned up, for the most part, all the broken masonry hauled away into piles and much of the damage repaired as best as possible, though some of it she was wary of getting too close to due to looking unstable – poles holding up tattered cloth, stones wedged together, cracks in the foundation.

Lightning rubbed her wrist across her forehead as she moved over by Caius, who sat atop what remained of a stall's counter, back to the wall, in a very familiar pose.

Her steps stuttered slightly as she came closer to him. Last night, they hadn't talked all that much, but what they had exchanged had been quiet and oddly intimate. They had been silent while she'd eaten, but afterward, while she greedily drank down cold-pressed fruit juice and stared at the fireworks, she'd told him about Bodhum, about its spectacular shows and the joy it brought to everyone's faces. He'd sat still and listened quietly, sometimes asking questions, but mostly just... listening. And gazing at her.

With a prickle of not-unpleasant unease, she looked up at him to find he wasn't looking at her, but out the entrance toward the desert.

She remembered mentally comparing him to Hope, contrasting his hard lines and angular features with Hope's softer ones – even in adulthood, Hope had not yet lost his baby-faced roundness. He had seemed inviting and warm, and Caius had seemed cold and distant. Hope smiled, welcomed her back to the Ark by calling it "home", called her by her nickname, and had only displayed unease when she spoke of Caius.

And now the tables had been so ironically turned.

She wanted to be close to Caius. She wanted to feel the fringes of his chaos and know he was nearby. She wanted to know he was there, silently standing with her, and she didn't know why.

Not so long ago, had Caius not been an enemy of hers? Had he not conjured up nightmares and feelings of dread? Yet, here she was, swayed by his promise of protection, by his keen eyes, the way he seemed to always know when she needed his help, how he worried about her, yet stepped back when he knew she could handle things alone, and never doubted her, only tried to give her words of wisdom to keep her alive.

No need existed to keep him near her.

_There is no one but myself_, she thought, but the little voice not only sounded hollow, but _laughed_ at her and accused her of trying to paint over the gaps she couldn't fill.

Perhaps Hope was right, and she _did_ just need a friend. When was the last time she'd had one, a _real_ one? She couldn't even remember anymore. Was that what Caius was to her, then? A _friend_? Something that she, perhaps without really knowing it, needed so very badly?

Leaning on the counter beside where his hand rested to keep himself upright, she looked out at the desert as well, at the clear blue skies and golden hues of sand, and breathed deep. The air smelled like the earth and sun-warmed sand, and the breeze was not yet unpleasantly hot, though quite dry.

A faint sound from her companion's throat drew her attention – one distinctly of amusement. "Did you rest well?"

Lightning folded her arms. "I did."

Caius let the silence linger a moment, then said, "It does not sound like it."

There was no point in trying to take back her words. The tone of them had betrayed her. "Alright, Bhunivelze came to visit me this morning... just for a moment!" she added quickly when she heard him shift his weight. "And then he left, so don't worry. Anyway, besides that? Yeah, I slept fine."

"Bhunivelze came for you again?" Caius snorted. "Yes, of _course_ that is not something I should worry about. What did he want from you this time?"

"I'm..." She furrowed her brow. "I'm not really sure, to be honest."

"I see. Then, what did he say?"

Lightning frowned a little at the burr in his tone. "He said something about me still being worthy of his love, or something like that. Didn't much understand it." She sighed and folded her arms. "Don't want to think about it too much, really. Whatever he has planned, it probably isn't good."

Caius said nothing, but she heard him take a deep breath. "Worthy of his _love_?"

"No, don't start that," she said, reaching up to pat his shoulder with one hand. "It's fine. Whatever it is, we can take it. Done well so far, why mess up a good streak?"

Again, he breathed deep, but let it out slowly, and when she looked up at him, he nodded. "I can assure you that will be the case, no matter what it takes." He turned to land on his feet on the floor, brushing the dust off his hands. "So, where do you wish to go next?"

Lightning frowned. "Not sure. Snow is taken care of, and we've cleaned up a lot of problems." She hesitated – last night, upon returning to the desert, she had managed to avoid being interrogated by Fang, and though the woman hadn't been satisfied, she'd let her go. This morning, perhaps it was time to tell Vanille what the Speaker in the chaos had told her, after putting it off too long. "But I need to talk to Vanille, and go see Fang."

"As you wish. I will remain here until you are ready to go."

Lightning nodded and placed one hand on the shoulder nearest her, briefly, resting on the curve of the armor that protected that part of his body, and let her hand slide off. The gesture brought back a memory – of Snow, gazing at Cocoon in the sky, and wondering whether they would see Serah again, faltering beneath an alien sunset as he had on the Fifth Ark, and her, a fist on his back, assuring them both it would be alright. Somehow.

There were no words needed to go with it.

For a moment, their eyes met, and then she continued on, searching for Fang and hearing Caius move away. She retraced her steps to Fang's chambers, walking soft as she could in case her old friend was asleep, and hoisted the curtain out of the way. In the dim light of the chamber, she spotted Fang, lounging in a chair with her head lolled to one side and mouth open, breathing in a pattern that told Lightning she slept.

The rose-haired woman smirked and lightly kicked her friend's ankle with the toe of her boot. "Fang, hey."

Fang's green eyes flicked open and looked groggily at her. "Eh?"

"Yeah, it's me. Don't look so surprised."

"Sarcasm, huh? 'Least I know I ain't dreamin'." She smirked a little groggily before stretching her arms overhead and slipping off the chair. "You ducked out so fast last night. All I got was some mumbling."

Lightning shrugged. "Sorry about that. I was exhausted."

"You looked like it." Fang raised an eyebrow, looked her up and down, and the smirk faded. "So, you gonna tell me what happened now?"

"Had to get into a multi-round battle in the Coliseum," she said. "The last one was an Undying."

The other woman folded her arms. "No fooling."

"Yeah. Needless to say, I got beat down, hard. I was doing it alone at first." She shook her head. "But, ah, Caius helped me in the last round. Even between the two of us, though, we still had some trouble. I finally managed to take it down, though. It was worth it, though." Sighing, she ran her fingers through her hair, gripped a handful of it for a few moments, then let her hand fall again.

"Caius helped you, huh? He really _did_ mean what he said, eh, about helping you?" When Lightning nodded, Fang made a thoughtful sound and rubbed her neck. "Lightning, I wonder... look, not my place to pry or nothin', but... ah, I wonder if..." She snorted, dropped her hand, and pointed a finger at Lightning. "Listen, you. I still don't like Caius much, but if he's good on you, fine with me. I'll trust your judgment. Just remember who he is."

"He's staying behind, Fang, when the world ends. We won't become friends."

The other woman lifted an eyebrow. "Staying?"

The rose-haired warrior lifted hand, curled and uncurled the fingers, and nodded, once, slowly. "Yes."

There was silence for a few moments. "Does he have a choice?" Fang said quietly.

"No."

Fang made a sound in her throat and shifted her weight, letting the silence sit between them – letting that one word sink in, perhaps. "I see. Well... then... maybe it's good you're not becoming friends. Getting attached like that... it can hurt when you lose 'em." Some unpleasant emotion – or unpleasant memories – twisted her features as she shook her head. "But, don't feel too bad if you do. Best to have good memories when he leaves."

"Fang, he was my _enemy_. It's not like–"

"Yeah, yeah, heard it all, and what, he's your enemy _now_?"

Lightning opened her mouth, realized she had no rebuttal, and deflated, looking at the floor. "Hope isn't helping me anymore. He can't. Bhunivelze took him." Not wanting to elaborate, she ignored Fang's curious look. "Caius has been the only one consistently at my side. He doesn't complain, doesn't abandon me, does as I ask, but questions when he feels the need. Perhaps... maybe..." Slowly, she looked back up. "...he _is_ my friend, in all the ways that matter. It's... strange." She looked at one hand and chuckled dryly. "My rival is my friend now."

"Life has its twists and turns," the other woman murmured. "It could've been far worse, believe me you."

"Yeah." She mustered a small smile. "How are you holding up?"

The other woman's gaze seemed hollow as it fell to the floor. "Ah, yeah... I lost some good folks. A lot of them. And our home... you saw it, last night and this morning. Ereshkigal _wrecked_ us. Now, I'm glad Caius and Noel were able to kill her dead, but it... won't bring back those lost." She chewed her lip, scuffed her toe, and looked back up. "All those people... everyone else is..."

When Fang trailed off into silence, Lightning stepped forward and laid a hand on her shoulder, squeezing gently. "I get it, don't worry. I know you'll honor their memory."

She swore under her breath and scuffed her toe again, harder this time. "I thought I was _better_ than this. Stronger."

"You _are_ strong," Lightning told her, "but you also happen to be _human_."

"Yeah, yeah, don't remind me. 'Tool of the gods' and all, right?" Smiling thinly, she let those words simmer between them for a bit before going back to her original expression. "In any case, yeah, I'm fine otherwise. Ready for all of this to be _over_ with already." She tilted her head. "Did you come down just to chat me up?"

Lightning half-smiled. "Actually, I was looking for Vanille."

"I see," Fang said. "Well, she's not gonna be down here. She's up in one of the guest rooms. If she's not already up and about, she'll be in one of those."

Lightning gave Fang's shoulder another quick squeeze before dropping her hand away. "Thanks."

"Yeah, yeah." Her friend gave a small smile. "Go on."

She did exactly that, leaving the other woman to finish waking up – or go back to sleep, as the case could be – and reentered the central atrium. Caius was nowhere in sight, though she sensed the fringes of his chaos as always, and except for the person still sweeping – whom she could now see, in the corner, sweeping dust and sand out into the desert, away from the main traffic areas – no one else had yet appeared.

She ascended back to the apartment area and searched for Vanille, eventually coming across a door that stood a little ajar, enough for her to see inside. Though too polite to push it the rest of the way open, she did peer through the slit, but couldn't make out who lived there. She knocked, but there was no answer.

"Vanille?" Backing away from the door, she decided calling out might be faster. "Vanille? Are you up here?"

There was no response except someone shouting at her to shut up.

Lightning sighed and wandered down the hall, averting her eyes from the few remaining signs of destruction – a few pieces of broken stone, the dusty floor – that had not yet been cleaned up, or simply weren't going to be. There were other open doors, but none of them looked like Vanille's quarters to her, though of course there was always the possibility she'd done nothing to make it distinct.

She moved on, coming out at the other end of the apartments, and descended the stairs there back to the lobby. If Vanille wasn't in her room, then she had to be awake.

This time, she went into the bar.

The bartender was there, as usual, but staring idly into the distance while leaning on the counter, only giving her a glance when she walked in. There was no one else at the tables except for a familiar redheaded young woman with her back to the entrance and a middle-aged man sitting beside her – Vanille and Sazh, it seemed.

Lightning approached and moved into their field of view, trying very hard not to do it in such a way as to startle the two, and slid into one of the empty chairs.

"Oh, there she is." Sazh smiled at her. "Hey, how are you doin'? You dragged yourself in lookin' like a Cie'th last night. We were a little worried about you."

"Fine enough." She managed to smile back slightly. "And you two?"

"Fine." Vanille sounded tired, but she smiled as well. "Something up? You look a little on edge."

"I actually came to tell you something, yeah." Folding her hands on the table, she considered how to voice what needed to be said, took a deep breath, and said, "Remember Ereshkigal? She'd been sent by Bhunivelze, I think as some sort of test for me. I had confronted Bhunivelze on the Ark the last time I got sent up there, so he dissolved the Ark and threw me into the Sea of Chaos."

Sazh stared at her. Vanille said, quietly, "Oh. That's why the Ark disappeared."

"Yeah, and I got swallowed up."

The redhead's eyes widened. "But... didn't you say Hope was up there? Wait, is Hope okay?"

Lightning flexed her fingers. "Uh... Vanille, he's... no. No, Hope is not okay. He was... uh, taken by Bhunivelze. He can't help me or anyone else right now." She drummed her fingertips on the table a moment before looking at the younger woman with all the empathy she could muster. "I'm sorry, Vanille. I know you wanted to see him."

"Yes." She took a deep breath. "But there will be time for that yet. We could still have the chance to save him. How did _you_ get out of the Sea?"

"Caius saved me, actually. I, uh, don't really want to think about what happened too much. It was a nightmare." She shook her head, forcing the creeping images back out of her mind. They did not bring the vertigo of chaos-sickness like before, but it still made her want to recoil from the horrible memories. "Uh, anyway, I met someone down there, inside the chaos. He came to me in the form of Dajh."

Sazh repeated the name before looking down at the table with his brow knitting.

"He said you can save the ones trapped in the chaos, Vanille. You, and only you, not me."

Vanille stared at her and said nothing.

Lightning studied the table for a moment. Was the other woman just absorbing the information, letting it sink in, before speaking, or did she not believe her? Worse, was she going to _fight_ it?

"I..." Vanille shifted her weight. "...see."

Lightning looked up abruptly at her. "That's _it_? You _see_?"

"Well, I... I don't... I..." She faltered, her eyes widening, and her fingernails dug into the table. "I... I mean, I _guess_. I get it. Okay, alright, I'll take the responsibility, but it's not just like–" One hand curled into a fist she brought down on the table, just hard enough to make the few items atop it shake a bit. "Okay. Alright, fine. I'll do it. What... what do you need more to do to help those people?"

Lightning sighed. "I honestly don't know, Vanille. Maybe you'll find a way by accident."

She looked at the table. "Hope so."

They sat in silence for a moment, with Sazh looking thoughtful and Vanille seeming stressed. Lightning looked all around, but still did not see anyone else, not even Caius, though she sensed him. Excusing herself, more to be rid of the awkward silence than anything, she headed for the main entrance on the desert side of the bar. Telling Vanille of her – hopefully final – task had not gone over as elegantly as she'd hoped, but perhaps she would feel better if she let it stew for a while, or talked it over with Sazh.

Out in the sunshine, she found Caius, crouched at the edge of the oasis and staring intently into the water with one hand partly outstretched, as though just drawn back from touching the surface. A faint ripple betrayed the presence of an underground spring feeding the pool, but she could see where the water had visibly receded.

The world was drying up, dying fast.

"Hey." She crossed the gap between them to crouch beside him. He glanced at her. "How are you?"

"Well enough." Again, he studied the water.

Lightning waited a minute or so to see if he would say or do anything further, but he appeared more interested in the water than in her, which she found somewhat odd for a man his age. Rather than press him into doing something, though, she chose to wait and join him in his study. The sun had climbed high enough to cast its light on the water, and it rippled and shimmered, casting golden patterns across his features.

"It's pretty," she ventured at last.

The softest of sighs escaped him, just loud enough for her to hear. "Indeed."

Feeling she would go mad if she waited any longer, she laid a hand on his shoulder. The chaos that brushed her palm felt like the pricking of needles, but not painfully – as though they prodded from just below some thick fabric that would not allow them through. "Hey, what's up?"

He extended a hand and stirred the water just enough to cause little waves. "Merely thinking."

"I got that much. Anything in particular?"

"I find it hard to believe you wish to hear the musings of someone like me."

"Well..." She squeezed his shoulder. "...maybe you shouldn't only believe in things you can see."

To her surprise, he frowned and shook his head. "Memories of this world can be painted on my mind so that I carry them into the world to come, but they will mean nothing there. I will never see a place like this again. I suppose I am just being... sentimental. It is rather pointless to do this."

"You're here because... you're going to miss it?"

He stared at the water. "Yes."

Her hand slid off his shoulder. "You know, that's not weird or anything. If you don't want to lose your memories of this world, then don't be ashamed to absorb as much of it as you can. Yeah, you brought it to this state, but so what? That doesn't give you the right to enjoy what's left of it?"

Dark eyes found hers with a suddenness that made her freeze in place, and they searched her gaze, but when she looked back, the cosmos beyond were hollow.

"I... Lightning..." The words came out sounding as though they were being twisted out of him; he twitched out of her reach, but stepped directly back away from her, still facing her, as he stood. "Please. You needn't do this. Keep your mind on the mission."

Lightning hesitated and stared at him for a moment. Many times, she had suspected a double meaning his words, but it had never been more than a feeling.

This time, though, it was undeniable. He was hiding something.

"Caius." Standing as well, she stared at him, and he met her eyes without wavering, but the uncomfortable knit in his brow told her he would certainly prefer to do otherwise. She couldn't help admiring that. "What's going on? What are you not telling me?" She took a small step forward; he took a full one back.

"Lightning, enough," he said.

"No, you're holding something back. If we're going to finish this, I have to know you're not hiding something that could endanger this mission, so you're going to tell–"

"No."

Startled, she stopped with her mouth halfway open, before somehow getting out, "_No_?"

Caius gazed at her, but it was not entirely friendly.

"You didn't just tell me no."

"It will not endanger the mission, that I can assure you." His tone was clipped. "Enough questions."

"Caius, you–"

"_Enough_, Lightning. _Please_."

The pleading tone sent a ripple of disquiet through her blood. Before she could even attempt to press further, though, the earth trembled underfoot – not hard, but just enough to feel. The tremor passed through all her joints; she looked all around for the source, but could see nothing in the valley they stood in. A second tremor, stronger than first, came through; it caused the water to ripple, though there was no other sound.

Lightning exchanged a look with Caius before turning to scramble up the incline of the valley. Overhead, the sky was still blue and clear, but the air smelled... oddly stale.

"Stay with me," she told him as she climbed. "I don't know what's up there."

"You needn't ask, Lightning," he said.

When she reached the apex of the dune, she shielded her eyes and squinted through the glare of sunlight on sand. All around, she could see to the horizon, but nothing seemed at all out of place, with clear blue skies everywhere except over the Sea of Chaos, where a mass of dark storm clouds could be seen gathering. Not unusual, she knew, from what she knew of the weather over the remaining land of the world.

But the unease curling in her gut made her look closer, at the way the clouds blotted out the blue sky and did not reflect the sunlight.

And then she realized they were not normal clouds.

Her heart skipped a beat as she realized she stared not at the clouds of water vapor that brought bellyfuls of water to the land. Nor did it consist of swirling clouds of chaos, as what accompanied the worst monsters. It was a different kind of cloud, silver in color with twinges of blue-green, a heart of blue-white light glowing in the center, and though it was far away, approaching from over the Sea, it moved _fast_.

"Caius," she said, breathless.

"Yes, I see it. That is not of the chaos, and it is not of this world. I sense nothing from it."

She looked at him. "What, _nothing_?"

"No. It has not been touched by the chaos, or at least not long enough for the chaos to echo in its shape. Whatever it is, it does not belong in the world's end." His eyed widened. "Lightning, it is moving fast, and I still cannot tell what it is. This may be something we will be forced to face."

"But _how_?" she demanded of him. "For all we know, it could be as big as a continent!"

"Or small as a behemoth. Aside from that, you and I have both encountered, fought, and destroyed far worse. What are you concerned about, as long as we fight together?"

Forcing herself to calm, she took strength from those words. Caius was there with her, his purpose being to protect her from the dangers of the world. Those dangers had escalated exponentially since her arrival and alliance with him, but they had faced them _all_ and won thus far. What could Bhunivelze or this dying world throw at them now? What could possibly stand against them if they fought as one?

"Right." Quickly, she plotted its trajectory and realized it would land on the beach in a minute or two. "I don't think we can make it down there quickly enough."

"Can you teleport now that the chaos is gone? I will meet you there."

Lightning considered this, forgetting that she could, indeed, teleport now, and nodded. Focusing on a point on the beach that she had not yet trod but could see clearly from here, she summoned her strength and what power she had left, lifted her sword, and stepped into a rift of crystal energy into the churning Historia Crux.

But instead of stepping out right away, she fell into the rift.

Feeling no solid ground underfoot, Lightning fell directly into freefall. All around her, the Historia Crux had come apart, pieces floating in the void or colliding and showering sparks, the chaos around it swirling and roiling like a boiling sea, as dark as the same. Flecks of blue-white light danced in the void, but before she could get more than a glimpse of the madness around her, the bells began to ring.

Lightning brought a hand to one ear, trying to dull some of the noise. The clanging of the bells was familiar – the same sound that had accompanied her fall into Valhalla – and she couldn't understand why. Valhalla had been more or less destroyed, fused into Gran Pulse. There were no more bells. There shouldn't be. The boundaries between the two worlds had been destroyed. The Historia Crux itself was nothing more than the border to Valhalla, and it had begun to break apart as the last walls between her world and what others were left were shattering. In a few days, there would be nothing at all left to stop the chaos any longer.

Even Bhunivelze's power could not pierce the madness. It could not bring her to the place where her feet needed to land. In that moment, she decided, if she got out of this, she was _never_ teleporting again.

Somehow hanging on to her sword, she opened her eyes.

The churning around her had been lit by the blue-white light of _thousands_ of glimmering crystal shards. They felt... _calming_, radiating their warmth across her skin, blocking out the madness, dulling the cacophony of the invisible bells still clanging away in the darkness beyond. Lightning uncurled from her instinctive position, trying to protect herself, and held her sword aloft as a rift of crystal energy appeared.

And the familiar presence from before, that had cleared her mind of the chaos, enveloped her, making her feel warm all over – not unlike the touch of Etro had been.

_Who are you_, she tried to call out, but her throat made no sound.

And then she toppled through the rift and slammed into the sand, tumbling a few feet before finally coming to a rest a short distance from where she had originally intended to teleport to. The bells still rang in her ears; she shook her head and gritted her teeth, then climbed to her feet and brandished her sword.

She looked directly up into the swirling mass of clouds, and as she stared, bending her knees in a battle stance, the clouds finally parted, and the bells kept ringing.

In an instant, she understood why.

Caius had appeared beside her, also in a battle stance, his sword called to his hand and held in a two-handed grip so tight that she spied the skin turning white in response, mouth pressed in a thin line and eyes narrowed as he joined her in staring at the impossible standing over them.

"Lightning," he said to her, "perhaps bringing down the wrath of Bhunivelze was... not so wise."

She gritted her teeth. "You don't say."

What hovered over her was not something she had seen since the beginning of her journey as l'Cie. At the time, she had not understood what it was, only knowing that Anima had seemed to have something to do with it. Using the knowledge of Valhalla bestowed by viewing Etro's memories, though, she recognized it now.

She didn't think he could exist outside his own realm.

How foolish she had been.

A single, blank eye peered down from the clouds as they drifted to form a sort of trail behind him, the many bells adoring his strange form still ringing endlessly, and without so much as a glance their direction, Pulse passed right over them, the Sea of Chaos churning in his wake, and proceeded inland, leaving them behind.

* * *

_Okay, I won't lie, Pulse's entrance is... somewhat more underwhelming than I'd originally planned. But! As one of the big moments I'd planned for many, many chapters now, at least it finally happened, right? Anyway... thanks for being patient with me again! A bit of blockage with this story and a busy real life has caused me to have less time and energy available for doing things like this, but anyway, at least it's done. Please let me know what you think!_


	39. Hammer

**_38 Hammer_**

At first, Lightning felt unfamiliar twinges of fear – all that was left to feel, it seemed, now – when they pursued Pule inland. She couldn't believe this was happening, and blamed herself. What other reason did Pulse have to come here unless asked to by Bhunivelze, whom she had provoked without a thought to the future, to consequences? And Pulse was _not_ benevolent – he acted out the will of his master and molded the land as he saw fit, decided who was fit for life and left others to rot into obscurity, and cared little for the lives of humans. He came, created tools, and departed without leaving clues as to their purpose behind.

And now he was headed toward one of the last strongholds of free man left in the world. She could imagine what he could shape from those in the ruins, and did not wish to let it come to pass.

But he moved too quickly. Both of them could not keep up, and Caius only left when she _demanded_ he do so, telling him to find some way, _any_ way, to stop Pulse.

But though she believed in their own abilities, she also knew they were all only human. Only Caius could match the sheer might of the fal'Cie, and all she could do was hope he got there in time. If she teleported, she could end up in the right place, or too far from the ruins to make a difference anyway, and it would be pointless. She felt helpless, more than she had in a long time, as she struggled through the sand, pulled hot and dry air into her lungs, and pushed herself as hard as she could, _desperate_ to win, hearing a voice in her mind whisper _you can't_.

They had defied their fates before, right?

So she followed, blasted in the eyes by the sand Pulse stirred in his wake, praying it was not too late.

* * *

The Oerban people had worshiped Pulse as their main deity, like many other tribes on Gran Pulse. They had called him Hallowed Pulse. He was their caretaker who had abandoned the world but left his fal'Cie behind to tend it. The people of Gran Pulse may not have completely believed him to be an entirely benevolent entity, but they respected him as the master of their world. Once, they would have given anything to see Pulse with their own eyes, rather than through glimpses upon being branded l'Cie or whispered in stories.

Vanille found the appearance of Pulse in their world utterly horrifying. Not awe-inspiring. Not worthy of falling on her face in worship of. _Horrifying_.

Pulse looked like a man, but did not move like one. The air seemed to distort around him, and the earth warped, but did not break, as he moved across it. She heard Fang shout something and begin an assault, raining blasts of icy light and pelting his armor with explosions. The bandits either ran as fast and as far as they could or attacked en masse. At first, Vanille could only freeze in terror, watching, listening, to the madness.

Fang shouted something at her, and she reacted.

For a long time, Pulse merely stood over them, seeming not to notice the assault, his single eye scanning the crowd that ran like panicked ants beneath him. A sickly greenish light tinged with blue and edged in white wavered around him, only emphasizing the sheer horror of his otherworldly appearance. Solid metal armor shimmered in the glow, not reflecting the light of the bright sun, reflecting _nothing_ but what resided on his person. His mouth did not open, did not move, permanently set into a hard line that made her heart pound in her chest.

Pulse had been the one who had shaped their world into existence and programmed the fal'Cie to perform their tasks for eternity. He was _mighty_. It was one thing to see him dimly in the sickly light of that other realm they had been drawn into to be branded. It was another to see him bend reality like this.

"Stay focused!" Fang's voice cracked Vanille's horrific fascination with the being towering above. "Gotta get rid of this guy! Keep your feet movin' and give it everything you got!"

Was she _mad_? Did she _really_ think they could do _anything_? "Fang," she panted, "that's Pulse. _That's Pulse_."

"Think I don't know that?" the other woman snarled at her.

Bandits ran out into the sunshine to find Pulse dwarfing them, greenish-blue light shining down from his single eye and the clouds swirling around him. No sound came except the rush of wind as it refilled the vacuum left by his bulk moving through the air. Vanille couldn't make out where he began and ended, the edges of his form shimmering and wavering and dancing about.

It was as if part of him still existed in the realm he came from, and only what he needed to function in this world had come with him.

Bandits rained gunshots and explosions upon his armor, but Pulse seemed to pay no heed, eventually coming to a stop a short distance from the front of the ruins. He stared coldly down at them, unmoving, and Vanille felt a sinking feeling in her gut. The mighty fal'Cie above them eyed them in a way that made her feel as though the world were ending much faster than before. The sensation of dawning horror made her hair stand on end.

Something terrible was happening. _Why else would he be here?_

Then something exploded in a sphere of deep violet smoke against the side of Pulse's armored head; Vanille looked to see that Caius had appeared, without Lightning, following up his initial attack with a second, a third, a _fourth_, all of them aimed at Pulse's head. When Pulse turned to face him, he was greeted with an explosion of bright light and purple smoke that caused him to visibly recoil.

"Vanille! Get back in the ruins! Get away from this and somewhere safe!"

"What's _safe_?" the redhead demanded of her friend, and gripped her staff in both hands. "If _Pulse_ is here, _there is nowhere safe left to go_!" She turned away before Fang could respond, but heard her grumble some sort of agreement as she did so. Vanille had no long-range attacks of her own anymore, as Bhunivelze had bequeathed none to her during her tenure as the Saint, but she could do _something_.

For a moment, she watched Caius as he seemed to throw everything he had at Pulse, chaos spilling out of cracks in the desert and engulfing the creature in a cloak of violet-tinted shadows.

Then Pulse swatted him aside with a blast of icy energy–

–and Caius reappeared, righting himself, in midair, unleashing a ferocious volley of attacks before hitting the ground feet-first again. When Pulse made a move toward him, he raised both hands, blocking it with a shield of energy that shimmered pink, then pushed back. Pulse struck a wall of pink and violet energy, reared back, and slammed his hand into it, only to have it stop in midair and rebound slightly. Caius looked strained.

"Where's Lightning?" Fang shouted as she ran toward him. Vanille, not knowing what else to do, followed, thinking it safer to be near the only person who made Pulse hesitate.

"She is coming!" was his response before unleashing another fierce volley of energy. Pulse flinched and recoiled, moving slightly away from the ruins.

Fang bared her teeth and made a frustrated sound. "What can we do?"

"Not much at all." Caius had landed in a half-crouch, and now he righted himself, facing her. "If you are not capable of attacking in a similar manner, don't bother. Pulse cannot be bothered with your stings. He _must_ be struck with as much power as you are capable of."

From nearby came the sound of someone shouting insults at the towering monstrosity. At any other time, it might have been comical, but when she turned her head and saw Noel, gripping his javelin until his knuckles turned white, any amusement she might have felt did not even bother to try rising up. When he threw the javelin, and it flew true, but it bounced off Pulse's armor instead of piercing it, she felt her heart sink.

Noel had to run directly toward Pulse to retrieve the javelin, narrowly avoiding a blast of energy that blew a chunk of earth into the air with the impact as he picked up his weapon.

He wasn't so lucky with the second one.

Vanille backpedaled from immediate danger just as Pulse attacked with multiple needle-thin bolts of silvery light that left punctures in the earth. One of them grazed her, and the feeling was like that of fire instantly spreading across her body and knocking her to the ground. Noel, hit directly, toppled over and lay twisted, eyes closed in an expression of intense pain, not moving.

Caius retaliated, unleashing every ounce of power he had, and forced Pulse to once again back away. "Get out of here," he told Noel as he hefted the younger man to his feet, shoving the back of his shoulder. When Noel spun to open his mouth, Caius merely pushed him again, this time in the chest. "You are useless here. The best you can do is just to get away. _Go_, Noel, and I will do what I can here to slow him down!"

"You can't make me run anymore! I _have_–"

As she shook the dimness from her vision, she looked up in time to see Caius bare his teeth in a snarl and shove Noel back harder by the chest, nearly causing him to fall over. The dark warrior had lost patience with the younger man, it seemed, and though Noel's eyes raged, he could offer no retort as he regained his balance.

"You are a fool if you stay! Now _leave_!"

Noel opened his mouth, closed it, scowled, and hefted his javelin.

"Tell me, then," Caius said, "what good are you to Yeul if you are dead?"

In the few moments of quiet, the younger man suddenly looked as though someone had carved out his heart, hand slowly falling to his side while still holding the javelin. He gazed back at Caius, then his eyes fell, and he hung his head. The question had pierced the wall he had constructed around himself.

"As I thought." Caius turned away. "Now _go_."

A sudden, intense pressure on her chest made her gasp; her vision turned white. She heard Caius grunt, then a small explosion that knocked her to the ground. Her ears rang. A geyser of dirt and sand spewed into the air, leaving a deep hole where the impact had been. She couldn't see.

A strong hand grasped her arm and pulled her to her feet; dazed, she stared at Caius with her mouth slightly open.

"Can you fight with the power of a l'Cie?" he demanded.

"I..." Gritting her teeth and shaking her head, she finally said, "No... I'm sorry, I can't."

Caius grunted and released her, pushing on her shoulder and making her stumble. "Then leave. Go with any others incapable of fighting in such a way and leave the area. I and any who remain behind – and Lightning, if she arrives in time – will try to force him to leave, but if all we manage to accomplish is stalling him–"

"That bad?" She took a step back. "Wait – you don't think he's... he's..."

"Vanille, _go_!" he shouted. "No more! _Leave_!"

She turned and stumbled through the deep sand surrounding the ruins, trying to find the shortest route away from the towering behemoth behind her. As she climbed the nearest dune, panting from fear, she turned her head to see Pulse still being hammered by blasts launched by Caius, as well as hail-like explosions of energy tossed out by Fang and a hail of bullets or pearls of light from the bandits. Noel stood at the top of the dune, waving his hands, urging her to move faster. His eyes were wide.

She had nearly crested the dune when a sudden silence fell, heavy as a blanket.

Vanille forced herself to clamber to the very top before stopping and turning around. A few others had followed her, but most of the bandits remained down in the valley. All of them had stopped what they were doing and were now staring up at Pulse, and he stared back down, unmoving except for the shimmering. Caius was visible at the edge of the valley, but she could see he had braced himself, down on one knee. From here, she couldn't make out any real details, but none of it looked right in the slightest.

Then came a flash of light. Vanille felt her skin crawl in recognition as painful memories surged up from deep inside her heart and broke through the surface.

And she shrieked.

Shimmering blue and green and white flooded her vision, pulling her back to the moment of her first branding – Fang had been with her, but during those few, terrifying moments, they had hung suspended in midair by some invisible force, watching a crystal crack open, witnessing Pulse appear over them, cold and calculating, raising a hand, piercing her thigh with a pain so intense she nearly blacked out. The uncaring fal'Cie said nothing, only staring, flooding her mind with images of destruction and death and a multi-limbed creature of nightmares.

Within that same realm, five centuries later, she had been brought before him again, but he had ignored her in favor of the other four, branding them as harshly as he had her long before.

It was the same light. The same cold fingers around her heart.

Suddenly, she couldn't breathe.

She dared open her eyes.

A shimmering sphere of energy, blue-white in color, barely visible, had enveloped her and the others who had run away from the destruction. Something seemed to touch her mind, quieting it, just for a moment, before withdrawing and leaving them alone. She blinked away the hazy afterimage of the energy, gazing into the valley.

And she saw something far worse.

The sound of sheer horror came to her from deep within the valley, the echoes absorbed by the sand, and for a moment, she thought it to have come from her own throat, but then she realized it came from _below_, from _Caius_, as he raged at the heavens and unleashed his most powerful blast of energy. It exploded on the side of Pulse's face, knocking him onto his side, landing hard enough to send sand flying out in all directions, shielding her eyes from the horrific sight that had replaced the bandits.

They were no longer human. They shuffled through the sand, groaning, their charcoal-colored crystals sparkling beneath the clear blue skies, jerky movements, stumbling steps.

Vanille's eyes burned; a choked sob escaped her. "Why," she finally managed to get out. "_Why_ would you do this to them? _Why would you do this_? Give them _back_!" Even knowing the futility, she reached out her hands toward the Cie'th in the valley until she stumbled and fell to her hands and knees, tears of anger and grief building up behind her eyes, but she refused to let them fall. As she sat there for a long time, head spinning with how quickly everything had come apart, she felt someone's hands on her shoulders.

She looked up, and Noel gazed back.

Then the ruins came apart. She looked back just in time to see it happen, chunks of rocks and sprays of sand rising into the air and flying in every direction. Most of it missed her and the others who were still nearby, staring in shock, but one particularly large chunk hit her shoulder and knocked her, dazed, to the ground.

With great effort, she lifted her head, blinked away the darkness, and shook it. The resulting dizziness only made her lower it again to the ground, heedless of the sand.

And then, there was nothing at all.

Lightning crested a dune in time to see Pulse, inky black against the brilliant and cloudless blue skies, turning away from a billow of smoke and dust. As he turned, his single eye faced her, locked with her gaze, and it seemed that his expressionless face _leered_ at her. The sinking feeling in her stomach turned into a stone that pulled her down through the surface of the planet into the depths and shadows far below.

Somehow, she raised her leaden feet and continued, pulling air as hard into her lungs as she could, but finding greater and greater difficulty the further she went.

When she at last climbed over the last dune and looked down, she found a sight that made her heart feel sick. The presence of the Cie'th in their dark crystalline husks, the ruins having been dismantled, leaving behind a narrow abyss that plunged straight down into the darkness of the earth, left her drained. She felt nothing. Not horror, not fear, not even the slightest twinge of any feeling at all.

Just... nothing at all.

It took her a few moments to see Caius, standing on a slope a short distance from the abyss with his hands clenched at his sides and his head down. There was no wind, no sound other than the shuffling of the Cie'th as they wandered about and moaned. She approached slowly, extending a hand, and when she reached him, she laid that hand on the back of his shoulder. She could think of nothing else to say, or to do.

He did not respond to her touch at first.

Did he blame himself?

Not sure what else she could do, she just stood there, waiting, until he finally turned to look at her. His eyes were full of feeling, but his expression had blanked, greeting her with complete neutrality. The shoulder that her hand rested upon lifted his arm, and that hand caught hers as it slipped off, strong fingers closing around hers, the pressure light but the touch spilling over with feeling. His touch, _there_ and _like that_, felt like being punched in the heart – under any other circumstances, it might have been a questionable decision, but _right now_, she knew it was the only way he could communicate how he felt in that moment.

The chaos that surged around his heart overwhelmed her, wrapping around her, embracing her.

Lightning felt no desire to pull away, or to stop him, instead responding with a light squeeze. It did not last for very long, moments at most, before he let go. The warmth left behind by his touch lingered, and without meaning to, she hung onto the sensation. At least it made her _feel_ a little bit better.

"Pulse did all of this," she murmured as she surveyed the devastation left by his rampage. The Cie'th paid no heed to the two warriors. She opened her mouth, tried to speak, and nothing came out but part of a word, one she hadn't planned to speak and could not make sense of, and she bowed her head, covering her eyes with both hands, rubbing her fingertips into her forehead, too drained to speak.

"Light." He used her nickname in a soft voice, with just enough volume to be heard; she lifted her head to look at him, his dark eyes meeting hers. "There is something else you must see."

Her stomach tied itself into a cold knot. "What?"

Without a word, he turned away.

Lightning followed his gaze toward the abyss, seeing a column that had not yet completely toppled over, sitting on an angled foundation. Most of the ruins had been blown apart, some of it sagging into the fissure. Some of it was still standing, but so badly damaged that there would be no rebuilding it. After all the hard work of the Monoculus bandits, there would be no hope of rebuilding their future here.

It took her a few moments to realize that he was not directing her toward the destruction, but to the shadows beside the column. Blood spattered the ground.

Seeing a figure outlined in faint light in the shadow of the column, she approached with slow, careful steps, keeping one eye on the Cie'th, but still they ignored her. The smell of the blood was sharp, telling her it was fresh, and the closer she came, the more she dreaded discovering what the source actually was. _Who_ it was.

The labored breathing was that of death.

Lightning came up beside the figure and lowered herself to one knee, resting one hand on her thigh, staring at her friend propped against the column only with her spear. For a long moment, the two women only gazed at each other, but the man's eyes were dull, filming over with the symptoms of fast-approaching demise. There wasn't much time left to say anything, or do anything.

Fang knelt beside him, her green eyes filmed over with grief and lack of understanding. A bit of blood mangled her hair, while bruises marred her skin. Lightning did not know Adonis all that well, but Fang did. For that, she could sit quietly. She could respect her friend's heart.

But Fang spoke first, before Lightning could gather her thoughts. One bloodied hand, part of it with skin peeled back from the muscle, sat upon Adonis's shoulder.

The man's pale skin had turned ashen, eyes hollow, and he didn't seem to be paying much attention to what went on around him, if he noticed at all. "Fang," he got out, the sound coming out pathetic and broken, "if what... you told us... was true, there's still... still..." His expression contorted into one of pain; his body coiled. Fang tightened her grip, causing blood to ooze from the wound, but she did not seem to notice or care. "...still... time..." Adonis's breath came out in short gasps now. "Don't... give up on... any... we can... still..."

His head lolled, and he simply expired.

Lightning looked to the left to see that Fang had managed to drag him over here, scuffs in the sand and drops of blood betraying the movement. Feeling her brow knit, she looked back and reached out a hand, but it stopped a short distance from the other woman's shoulder.

"Fang," she murmured, knowing it to be pointless, "I'm sorry."

The other's blank green eyes flicked her direction. Not seeing. Not understanding. Lightning did not know these people. She had not spent over a decade with them, getting to know them, leading them, keeping them safe. She did not know what it was like to sit in the dim light of the dawn and laugh about the day, or train and fight beside them, to earn their trust and respect, but she could call upon memories of loss to reach out now.

Then Fang pushed her arm away and stood, staring at the bandit's body.

Lightning stared for a long time, shock preventing her from moving. She did not understand. She could not understand. Perhaps there were things she did not dare to _try_ understanding, things she could not see that would be too hard to wrap her head around. Instead, all she could do was sit and wait for Fang to do something else, to respond to any outside stimuli, no matter how long it took.

Here was another victim of Bhunivelze's smiling cruelty and Pulse's cold indifference.

Finally, she lifted her head, hand resting on her knee, and looked at Adonis's glassy eyes. "You are _right_," she said, with a little more certainty than she actually felt. "This is _not_ the end. No matter what happens. I'll make _sure_ your end wasn't pointless, and you're gonna come with us to the new world, even if it kills me. I don't care what happens to me, as long as you and the others can go."

Adonis, of course, did not respond. But she imagined he did.

"We'll do it, my friend." Fang finally spoke; Lightning looked up at her. "I promise. And we'll see you again in the new world, if it's the last thing I do, you hear?" Finally, the woman blinked away the darkness in her eyes, took a deep breath, and faced Lightning. "Well," she murmured, "guess I should... get goin'. Need to, uh, get this hand all wrapped up and such. Can't have it." She gave a wane smile, but it was hollow, and she stared at Lightning for a few moments longer before shuffling away.

Soft footsteps on the sand came to her. Leather creaked as her companion fell to one knee at her side. "Lightning, this entire continent is cracking apart," he murmured. "I wish I could give all of you more time, but that is simply a luxury we do not have. We _must_ leave."

She shook her head, trying to clear it, and waved a hand his direction, fingertips briefly brushing over the worn armor. "Yeah," she muttered. It look a few moments for her to climb to her feet, and when she did, she looked over to see Caius gazing at her, like he always seemed to, with unreadable eyes. "What's going on?"

"Pulse tore open the continent when he destroyed the ruins," he said. "The chaos will soon come through here and flood the entire desert. We _must_ leave, _now_."

"Flood?" A little dazed, she stared at him. "You mean... everything here... it's all going to be..."

He hesitated, then said, "Yes."

Sudden nausea curled inside her stomach; she pressed the back of her hand to her lips and closed her eyes, trying to take it in. There wasn't enough time to take care of everyone left behind. They would all be swept up and swallowed by the chaos. As long as Vanille was alright, they still had a chance to help those trapped in the chaos, but the truth of that prospect didn't make her feel much better, not when Fang's second-in-command lay dead and all the other bandits had been transformed into grotesque monsters.

Gathering herself at last, she brushed past him, zigzagging through the crowd of Cie'th and ascending the sandy hill toward the others as fast as she could. The creatures ignored them, stumbling about and sending a cacophony of wails into the sky that echoed across the desert.

She arrived to find Vanille just pushing herself up onto her knees with a groan and Sazh on one knee beside her, hands on her shoulders and holding them tightly. A gash on her shoulder stood out against the girl's milky-pale skin like an exclamation mark. She moved shakily.

"Vanille?" Lightning bent down. "Hey. You alright?"

"I looked her over," Sazh said. He looked up at Lightning with anxious eyes. "On the surface, she seems okay, but I can't know the internal damage. We need to get her to a doctor."

"I got hit in the shoulder, that's all," Vanille mumbled. "Hit the ground kind of hard, but I'm fine."

"Self-diagnosis isn't something you'll get away with _this_ time, young lady." Sazh injected some cheer into his voice, but Lightning heard the strain beneath it anyway. With a firm hand, he helped the girl up to her feet, then brushed the sand and grit off her clothing and skin as much as he could before patting her hair. She looked up at him, blinking, and smiled.

"I'm glad you're okay," Lightning said, "but we need to leave. Pulse ripped a hole in the earth and the chaos is going to come gushing out any moment. We need to go _now_."

"Hold on, now." Sazh wrapped an arm around the girl's shoulders when she swayed a bit on her feet. "I get we need to leave as soon as possible, but I'm sure we still got time. This girl can't run right now, and the others here, well, they're kind of in shock." With his free hand, he waved at the remaining bandits. None of them looked as though they were actually capable of seeing their surroundings.

Lightning started to open her mouth and offer a protest, but Caius stopped her, the back of his hand against her upper arm, and she relented. If he was comfortable giving them a little time, then she didn't need to worry.

"Alright," she said, "but keep the pace up."

Vanille moaned and rubbed at her eyes as Sazh and Lightning gathered up the bandits. Caius stayed where he was, keeping an eye on their surroundings, waiting patiently for the other two to return. "Where's Fang?" she said as she steadied herself. "Did she make it? Is she–"

"Here," the dark-haired woman said, and came over with a thin smile. "Sorry."

Vanille started to look relieved, but then her expression melted into worry. "Fang," she said, reaching out toward her friend with one hand, "did something else happen?"

"You mean besides losing the rest of my bandits to Cie'thdom and watching Adonis die?"

The redhead let her hand drop back to her side.

As the earth trembled underfoot and strange whispering came from the abyss, the bandits were finally rounded up, and they began making their way across the desert. Lightning tried to keep her mind on the push forward, helping hold the others up when she could. Her legs felt leaden, as though she hadn't slept in days, though her mind was clear and the sun felt no worse than usual.

What spurred her on, though, was the sound of the earth cracking behind them... and bursting open with a sound so horrific, she couldn't imagine what it could be at first.

Not that she had to. "We need to get out of here."

"No need to tell me," Sazh said through gritted teeth. "Man, just like the old days."

They finally made their way to the station, only to find that the train had not yet arrived. Perhaps a dozen people stood at the platform, and even the attendant looked concerned. The bandits milled around, many of them making sounds of extreme concern, while others seemed outright panicked.

"The train isn't here," one of them said. "The train isn't here!"

"Quiet," Lightning said, "you don't need to frighten the others more than they are."

"This whole island's going to sink into the Sea of Chaos," he said, apparently completely ignoring her... or perhaps, not capable of hearing her. "We're all going to die, or end up like the others, as Cie'th! Get swallowed up by the chaos, get warped and turned into monsters... _die_, like Adonis!" The more he rambled, the more his voice rose in pitch until it was impossible to ignore anything he said.

"Adonis is dead?" someone else cried.

"Enough!" Lightning said sternly. "We need to wait for the train. Then, we can discuss what happened."

"How can he be dead?" the same person said.

"If he can't even survive, then... how... how can _we_..." Yet another man, exhausted, clutching his side, went wide-eyed and stared at Lightning for a moment before his eyes began to roll about. "No. No, everyone's dead! If none of _them_ could survive the attack by Pulse–"

She decided she'd had enough. "Shut up, or I'll knock every _one_ of you out _myself_! _Now_!"

That seemed to get their attention, and they did as told.

"It's coming, I can see it." Sazh, sounding strained, voice quavering slightly, nodded into the distance, drawing her gaze to a bend in the tracks. The train shone in the sun as it plowed along the tracks toward them. Noel, who had been silent this entire time, stood nearest to the tracks and did not look at anyone.

"Come on," someone said, "come _on_."

"We have to get out of here," someone else said, panic evident in his voice. "Pulse is gonna come back and kill us, or turn us into Cie'th, or the chaos will kill us because we stood here too long!"

Sounds of general unrest rose again, and this time, Lightning didn't bother to try and stop it.

Finally, the train rolled into the station. There was no announcement of its arrival this time, and upon looking over at the booth, Lightning found it empty. She hoped the woman had gotten away.

With much jostling and panic, they managed to get aboard the train. The moment the last person climbed aboard, the doors slid shut and the train began to move. Lightning waited while the others got into their seats, some of them still making small sounds of panic as they moved, while Sazh helped them move and Vanille stared out the window.

"No," she said, almost under her breath. "Oh, _no_."

Lightning looked through the windows at the continent in time to see the chaos gush through the hole Pulse had torn into it. In a blast of darkness and golden checkerboard patterns, it spewed into the sky and spilled out to engulf the sands. The train rocketed away from the station, but the tracks wound about in such a way that they were given an extensive look at the destruction as the chaos blackened the sands, darkened the sky, and melded with itself at the edge of the beach. Before long, everything that had stood upon that continent rippled as though made of living shadows, and there was nothing of the old world to be seen.

In the back of her mind, she recalled a memory she had struggled to bury in the past: her sister, smiling, rising into the air, engulfed in beautiful blue-white light, out of her reach, out of her life.

And despite the beauty, it left her hollow inside.

The same cold, desolate feeling settled over her as she stared at the destruction. Quiet sobs rose up behind her from those who had escaped that bastion of free mankind. She did not dare turn around, lest it pierce her heart and stir her soul into disquiet. She couldn't bear it, not even with her heart carved out.

So she looked at her companion instead.

Caius stood with his back as straight and stiff as a steel rod, hands at his sides with his fingers curled against each other, eyes focused on the pool of darkness slowly devouring the continent and its spires of rock. His hair hid his expression from her, and when she moved toward him, he turned away and took a few steps, instantly creating a sizable gap between them. She stopped, and so did he.

Unsure, she tipped her head. "Caius, you–"

"Leave me be."

Out of the corner of her eye, as her mouth hung open after his interruption, she saw Noel move around, his face a mask of pain and anger. Though he stayed back, she could make a guess as to what it was he sought, and figured it would probably be accurate.

"Noel," she said, and intercepted him with one arm.

His eyes met hers. "Sorry," he muttered. "This is just..." He scowled, shook his head, and rubbed a hand through his hair. When he turned away, though, that hand came down and struck the nearest seat as a fist. It was an action so unlike the Noel she had known and sent on the journey from Valhalla that it startled her.

Moving to him, she touched his shoulder, then seized his arm when he tried to jerk away. "Stop it," she told him.

"It's all _his_ fault." Noel whispered the words, but they seared like fire and scalded the air. "_He_ did this."

"Noel, stop it. You _have_ to let this go."

"I–" The word came out as little more than a croak, cracking under its own weight, before he buried his face in both hands and shook his head. "No, I can't, I can't do it, I _can't_." Still repeating the words, he moved away from her, and she let him go, bewildered and at a loss of what to do. It was so obvious what Noel needed to do, yet he continued to buckle under the responsibility of releasing his pain.

He would hang onto it, no matter how many scars it gouged into his heart, and never truly be free.

At the back of the train, Sazh stood with some of the survivors, saying something she couldn't hear, while Vanille sat near him, looking too stunned to move.

Lightning looked at Caius, but he did not look back, facing away from her over the Sea of Chaos, hands folded behind his back – an unreadable posture, hard, cold, familiar, that made her stomach churn.

But though she wanted to approach him, she dared not.

He would need time, she knew. A little, anyway.

So she stood near the largest window, gazing out at the continent swallowed by the chaos. Pulse was here, no doubt sent by her old master to accelerate the end of the world. With the loss of the Dead Dunes, had she also lost time to spare for her mission? Had Bhunivelze tightened the stranglehold as part of his "test"? And _Pulse_, capable of turning people in Cie'th instantly by giving them an impossible Focus, would torment her further by doing so, slowly prying away the people she needed to save by placing them beyond her reach.

Right then, she knew for certain.

Bhunivelze was a cruel master indeed, testing her for some purpose she likely didn't want to know about, who would drag her to the end of the world and steal as many souls as he could for his own purposes. He had a plan she did not know about – she knew this in her gut – and she would have to be ready for anything. With Caius's power, perhaps they could accomplish that task, but she couldn't always be sure.

And now, she felt more alone than ever.

_You are not alone_, she told herself. _You have yourself. You can do this alone, because of your own strength. No matter what comes your way, you can survive it_. The mantra of her younger years, when Serah spurned her, then ran into Snow's arms, of her early days traveling with the other l'Cie, echoed in her head.

The words felt so empty now.

Remembering her sentiments from standing quietly beside her companion in Ruffian, minutes before everything fell apart, she stared at him now, ashamed of her thoughts, but unable to stop them from rising again.

* * *

_This is... definitely not my ideal work, I won't lie, but I had to get it done between a lot of stuff going on in real life, so the fact that it got finished when it did and came out not completely horrible is a tiny miracle. Anyway, from here on, things should smooth out a bit. My intention is to get the story finished by the time Final Fantasy XV comes out, which gives me about three months to finish. Since I have a pretty clear idea of where to go from here, wait times should be shorter than for the last few chapters. Anyway, thanks for your patience, and let me know what you think!_


	40. The Edge of the Future

_**39 The Edge of the Future**_

Snow responded to the summons quickly, excusing himself from his daily duties as Patron to make his way downstairs. After neglecting those duties for so long, it felt good to be doing them again, interacting with the people again, doing what needed to be done as though he had never stopped. In his absence, others, such as Cora, had taken over many of his responsibilities, splitting them amongst themselves. It hadn't been entirely efficient, but as his interest and capability had waned, they hadn't had much choice.

Five centuries had he spent in this ever-darkening and increasingly chaotic land. At least now, he knew that Serah would come back to him. Soon, they would be together.

As the last days of the world slipped away, it was something to hope for.

In the lobby nearest his quarters, he found Lightning and Caius waiting for him. At first, he felt pleased to see them, and approached with a soft smile, but then he grew aware of Lightning's dull eyes and coat of dust and sand. Caius carried himself without expression, his eyes serious, and yet... _blazing_ with something he would not otherwise reveal. Snow, not liking what he saw, slowed as he came closer, and stopped a short distance away.

"What's going on?" he said, before either could speak.

Lightning looked weary, leaning on a nearby chair for support, and did not speak for a long, long time. Though he wanted to push, he held his tongue, knowing she would speak when it was most appropriate. Not before. That was not her way of doing things. Pressing further would only force her to speak when she didn't want to, and the last thing he wanted to was make her more uncomfortable.

"We, uh..." He almost couldn't hear her. "...lost... the Dead Dunes."

For a moment, he simply stared, not able to comprehend those words. All the possible meanings of the word "lost" shot through his mind, over and over, but trying to choose just one to settle on merely made his head feel heavy. All of them were bad. None were possibilities he wished to accept.

"Lost... how?" he was afraid to ask, but did.

"They sank beneath the surface of the Sea of Chaos." She didn't look at him. "Pulse was responsible."

It took a moment for Snow to connect the dots. "Wait, Pulse? Pulse _himself_?"

"Yeah." Now she looked up. "The one and only."

The Patron stared back at her, through her, for a long time, letting the information sink in. A chill settled across his skin and crept down his spine. Pulse had branded them when they were taken by Anima long ago. He could still recall, with perfect clarity, the feeling of horror at the sight of Pulse's expressionless face, cast in a sickly green glow, staring at them as pain pierced their bodies and the brands formed. While he knew little of Pulse's legends or history, he knew, somehow, his presence could be nothing good.

"Pulse is... here, in our world?" To his own ears, his voice sounded very small.

Lightning met his eyes steadily. "Yeah, he is."

"I..." Pause. "...see."

"What, that's it? No words of wisdom or how we're gonna win this one if we all work together?" There was no amusement in Lightning's voice, nothing but weariness.

"What do you want me to say?" he said. "You want me to lie to you, tell you everything's gonna be golden?"

"That's not the Snow I know."

"Don't worry, still here," he murmured, "but he got buried under five centuries of pessimism."

Lightning gazed at him for a few more moments, then slowly straightened, flexing her shoulders. He heard the joints crack as she moved. "Standing around won't do us any good," she said. "We need to make a plan. I expect him to go after the other continents in time, and... I think it's my fault."

Snow frowned as he saw Caius shift his weight. "Sis, come on, why would it be _your_ fault?"

"Because I invoked Bhunivelze's wrath."

The fact that she had ignored what he'd called her told him all he needed to know. He sighed and shook his head. "No, no, don't start, you did the right thing. He shouldn't rule our lives like that or turn us into dolls. If he wants to throw a tantrum over it, it's not your problem. Just keep your shoulders squared and put one foot in front of the other We'll sort these things out somehow. I just wish I knew _how_, y'know?"

Her eyes softened. "Is that you giving me tips on keeping my head up? Now _that _sounds more like you."

Snow smiled a little. "Said he was buried, not dead."

Though she nodded, nothing else on her face changed at all. Instead, she cast her gaze out the nearest window for a long, long time, a slump to her shoulders he didn't like the look of. Caius stayed where he was, not looking at either of them, but at some indistinct point beyond the walls of the palace, his eyes a thousand miles away. Snow looked between them, wishing he could read their thoughts, and also glad he couldn't.

"We have refugees. A few survivors. They need medical help." Lightning looked back at him, eyes all business once more. Hollow. "Can you spare some rooms?"

"Uh, sure. Sure, of course." Snow nodded. "We got plenty of room. Where are they?"

"In the plaza. I'll have them brought in."

"Do." He raised a hand and slowly swiped it through his hair. It had gotten a bit too long, a little shaggy, but he didn't feel any purpose in cutting it, not this close to the end. There were less than three days left, provided Pulse had not somehow stolen more time away. What did it matter?

"Thanks. You haven't seen Fang in a while, right?"

"No." He lifted an eyebrow. "What, she here?"

"She is. Ready to brawl."

"'Course she is," he said, lips peeling back from his teeth as he briefly crinkled his nose in amusement. "Well, send her on in, and keep me updated, will you? I'll see if I can find some communicators or something so we can all keep in touch more easily. I mean, _just_ in case something happens."

Lightning raised her hand, touching her fingertips to her ear, before quickly lowering it, nodding, and turning away with Caius on her heels.

Rather than wander off, Snow forced himself to wait, arms folded. A few guards made their patrols, and he saw Cora leading a small group at one point, before the doors to the lobby reopened and a bedraggled group came stumbling into the cool shadows. Snow's shoulders began to slump, arms falling to his sides, as he saw them – dirty, bloodied, bruised, covered in dust despite obvious attempts at getting it off, led by a woman with tanned skin and bright green eyes wearing a dusty sunset-colored wrap ensemble and carrying a lance with a bloodied hand.

Seeing Fang, recognizing her gait despite her obvious pain, he felt his stomach coil up into a knot and approached, meeting the group halfway.

"Fang?" he said, reaching out with one hand. "Hey. Been a while."

Her eyes found his, and she managed to smirk at him. "Well, whaddya know. You didn't burn down the whole place or trash it beyond recognition." Her voice was familiar and warm; she took his hand with her less-damaged one and pulled their bodies together in a brief half-hug. "Good to see ya, Snow Villiers."

"And you, Oerba Yun Fang," he said. "Glad to have you back"

"Hey, Snow." Another, equally familiar voice called to him, and he turned with a smile to see Sazh. Beside him stood Vanille, looking exhausted and dirty, but with her familiar soft smile, and behind him, dour-faced, was Noel, looking very much worse for wear and with eyes darker than a stormy sea.

"Sazh, my man." Snow, not the least bit bothered by getting filth on his expensive silk suit – it would all wash out, and it wouldn't matter soon anyway – approached and hugged the older man. "Good to see you."

"Nice to see a familiar face, for sure. You grew up."

"Had to. It was that, or die."

Sazh winced and shook his head. "Heard that."

Snow clapped the other man on the shoulder, drawing his gaze back, and they nodded to one another before he turned again to see Vanille looking up at him. Hesitating a moment, he remembered how she had felt back when their journey had begun, carrying them across Gran Pulse while she coasted on the belief that she had been responsible for everything. Now, he saw a similar weight in her eyes, and it made his heart clench.

"Vanille, hey, you're okay," he said gently. "Away from the Order, huh?"

"Yeah," she said, smiling again, but he could see it was forced. "It's... been too long, you know?"

"Oh, definitely. Way too long. Old friends shouldn't be apart this long, you know?" Despite having to force it a bit, he managed to smile back. When her expression crumbled, he extended both hands, and she responded by stepping into them and briefly embracing him around the only part she could easily reach, his waist.

"Between you and Fang," she said, muffled by his shirt, "we should be fine."

"Mostly me," Fang muttered. "This guy, don't trust him."

Snow made a face at her and released Vanille, then turned to look at Noel, letting his expression settle. The two men stared at each other for a long time. Snow could recall Noel's intense dislike of him and how it had slowly become respect during the Age of Chaos. Then, he had lost track of how many times Noel had apologized for Serah's death, how his response to Snow explaining it wasn't his fault had developed from anxiety to outright hostility, until one day, he gave in to the darkness festering in his heart and disappeared.

He had not seen Noel since that day.

Snow carefully looked him over, seeing a frame that was still strong but had lost a bit of mass, joints and veins more obvious where his skin was exposed, hair a little shorter and parted differently, keeping it out of his eyes, a stance and a way of moving that told him that was all he was used to doing anymore.

And he seemed to recoil slightly at Snow's steady gaze.

He opened his mouth, and Noel immediately spoke, rapid-fire, as though terrified the words would escape. "I know she's coming back, but I'm still sorry for what happened, and I'm sorry for running off, not keeping in touch, fighting and running away, not being myself, and– and for– and–" He winced and closed his mouth.

But the Patron only folded his arms, saying, "That it?"

Noel scowled, but it felt like staring at a sick animal rather than a caged one. "What– what more do–"

"Let it go."

Those three words instantly shut the other man up, leaving him speechless for a few long moments. While the others milled around before being collected by the palace doctors, the younger man continued to stare back at him without moving. Only after a minute or so had passed did he finally speak.

"Everyone keeps telling me that." He looked at the floor. "Maybe it's... you know, time I listened."

"It's okay," Snow said, walking up to him and placing a hand on his shoulder. "I know things have been rough for you and you spent a lot of time alone in the shadows, but it's okay now. Everything's gonna be okay. Serah'll live, we'll be in a new world, and none of this will matter, okay?"

Noel's eyes no longer resembled a stormy sea when they rose to meet Snow's. "Yeah," he said in a quiet voice, "okay. I think... I think I get the hint now." His lips quirked.

Snow nodded, patted his back, and moved away. "Go on, get checked out. I need everyone in peak shape in case anything happens and I gotta call the cavalry."

Looking as though an invisible weight had lifted from his shoulders, Noel gave him a very, very small smile, nodded, and ran in the direction the others had taken. Snow watched him go until he disappeared around the corner before rubbing his hands across his face and breathing deep. He would join up with them again later. Now, he had to make sure protecting the city, preparing for an attack from Pulse – or whatever else Bhunivelze had tucked away in his box of surprises – was at the top of his list of priorities.

"Bhunivelze," he murmured, "you are going to regret the day you decided to meddle with us like this."

* * *

The city of Yusnaan, in the early afternoon, was a warm and inviting enough place. The stone underfoot soaked up the sun's heat, the people went about their duties as though nothing were at all wrong with the world, the fountain sparkled, the children still played. Lightning waded into it feeling like a stranger, as though she didn't belong, as if she had no purpose here. Knowing what was coming, _far_ too soon, she couldn't bring her mind back to the present. She dreaded to see what else Bhunivelze had planned.

Not sure of how long she wandered around the plaza, she eventually found herself coming down the stairs from the Augur's Quarter toward Fountain Square. A young woman, slender, with short brown hair, colorful clothes, and a flower in her hair, stood in the archway, staring at a large yellow chocobo as its handler worked on getting it into position, apparently for practice. Another chocobo stood next to it, preening itself.

Lightning paused and regarded the birds, but try as she might, she could not exorcise the memory of the dead ones from her mind.

Caius, who had not yet spoken, stopped a forearm's length from her side.

Struggling with her thoughts, she failed to notice the brunette approaching until she had come quite close; she snapped out of her thoughts, she met the other woman's eyes questioningly. Neither spoke for a few moments, the younger of the two glancing at Caius before opening her mouth, closing it, then trying again.

Lightning said, "Can I help you?"

"Um... maybe. I don't know. Well, probably. Um..." Looking sheepish, she shrugged. "You're the Liberator?"

Lightning spoke without inflection. "That's me."

"Oh, good," the other said, sounding and looking relieved. "Um, look, you see... I lost my friends. It's been a long time, and I just... oh." She rubbed a hand across her face. "I'm Primrose, by the way. Can you... if you would be so kind, uh, can you... help me find my friends?"

"Of course." She nodded. "Can you describe them to me?"

"Um, well, they should all be the same as they were before, only I was changed... let's see." Primrose folded her arms and tipped her head. "There's a green one, a yellow one, a red one, a–"

"Wait, wait," Lightning said, "are they human?"

Primrose burst out laughing, though she managed to stop herself after a few moments, still grinning and with a slight blush to her cheeks. "No, of course not! That would be silly, green-skinned humans, ridiculous! No, no, they're just regular... oh." She stopped smiling, eyes going wide. "I... look human to you, don't I."

Lightning blinked. "Yes. Yes, you do."

"Oh, duh, of course... uh, that would be– that would explain it, huh. Oh..." She shifted her weight. "I'm _not_ human, you see. I'm a chocobo. I was turned _into_ a human a long time ago, when we were all chicks and got separated because we got shipped through a chaos burst! I was so scared, but somebody heard me and made me human! I thought maybe they would be too, but they weren't, but every time I try to get close, something gets in my–"

"Wait, _who_ made you human?"

"Oh, uh, I, ah... don't know." She wrinkled her nose. "Is it important?"

Lightning felt a prickle across her skin and creeping down her spine, but shook her head. "No. Okay, I'll go find your friends. Are they scattered around this city?"

"Yes," Primrose said, nodding excitedly. "They like people, so they're probably hanging out with them."

"Alright, then." Lightning nodded. "I'll be back."

Once they were out of earshot of Primrose, Caius finally spoke up. "Do you believe her?"

"Why not?" She shrugged. "Weirder things have happened lately."

He grunted. "I suppose that is true."

Grateful for something lighthearted to distract herself, she let the rest of her thoughts slip away and focused instead on finding the chicks. It wouldn't be too difficult to see the brightly-colored birds in the daytime, since most of the brightest colors were reserved for the nighttime festivities. The sunlight could be too bright and wash out the colors, but she resolved to not allow that to slow her down.

As they passed the fountain, she saw Olga and Berdie near the grand piano, arms linked. Olga still had her usual look of self-righteousness, but at least her hand, resting on her lover's arm, seemed gentle, and in turn his rested atop it, his fingers lightly wrapped around hers.

Lightning curled the fingers of one hand – the one Caius had briefly taken in his own.

Her stomach tied itself into a knot at the memory.

"Lightning?" His voice came softly, near her ear, causing her to realize she had slowed her pace and started staring at that hand. After a moment's hesitation, she looked up at him to see him just behind her shoulder, but instead of pushing him away or pretending nothing had happened, she only sighed and shook her head.

"Fine," she said, and dropped her hand.

Caius did not press the matter, though she sensed the fringes of his chaos fluttering about as though caught in a gale and brushing across her heart. She found it both oddly comforting, and unsettling – Caius had been quiet since leaving the Dead Dunes, his face a perfect mask of neutrality, but his eyes were fierce, as though a storm surged with destructive power through his heart, and it worried her. That she could not help him, and did not wish to pry, only made it that much worse, even though she knew he would not hurt her.

The first chick was easy to find – a brightly-colored green runt sitting beside a young woman waiting at the base of the Cactuar statue. When Lightning approached, the girl made a face and the chick bounced on its toes.

"This little guy waiting for you?" the girl muttered. "How fitting."

Lightning reached out for the chick, but it hopped up her arm to her shoulder, making her smile a little. "And why is that, if you don't mind me asking?"

"Because _I've_ been waiting here for my slack boyfriend for _hours_."

The chick twittered; Lightning lifted an eyebrow. "I see. Uh, sorry, but this little one belongs somewhere else, or I'd let him... her... it stay with you for a little while longer."

"It's fine," she said, sighing. "Not the first time."

Since she didn't know how to respond to that, Lightning merely turned away.

Two chicks were found at a stall below the Banquet, with the shopkeeper looking relieved and explaining the chicks had nearly become kebabs, but he had rescued them. Part of Lightning felt surprise that _anyone_ would want to _eat_ chocobo chicks, but she gathered the little ones without a word and moved on. With three chicks on her shoulders, she decided that now would be a good time to start returning them, but stopped when she saw a fourth on a nearby table being tended to by a middle-aged woman.

With a small amount of difficulty, she offloaded the chicks to Caius, who allowed them to scramble up atop his shoulders – and looked ridiculous, though somehow he managed to retain an air of dignity all the same – and walked over to the table, extending a hand toward the chick.

The woman stopped cooing at the little bird and looked at her. "Oh!" she said. "Is this little guy yours?"

"After a sort," Lightning said, nodding. "May I?"

"Of course, of course." The woman looked back at the chick and fluffed its feathers with her fingertips, making it trill happily and stretch its tiny wings. "Don't you worry, little one, Mommy and Daddy are here!"

Lightning and Caius exchanged a look.

With four chicks in hand, they returned to Primrose, who happily gathered them and let them climb all over her and flutter their tiny wings. "Oh, thank you so much!" she said. "You don't know how much I appreciate this. The last two should be over in the... um..." She blinked, waved her hand a bit, and said, "...plaza area?"

"The plaza with the statue?" Lightning said.

"Um... yes. I think so. Yes?"

The rose-haired woman reminded herself that the girl probably didn't fully understand human thought processes yet and just turned away.

The next chick was yellow and watching a worker fiddling with the base of the statue. Unaware of Lightning's approach, it kept watching the worker, occasionally lifting a tiny foot to scratch its face so rapidly that the foot was a mere blur. When she reached it and extended a hand toward it, the chick screeched, hopped in place, looked at her, and stretched its wings while reprimanding her with a series of shrill shrieks.

"What are you on– oh. That one yours?" The worker settled back on his heels and squinted at her accusingly.

Lightning grabbed the chick, making it squeak in indignation. "Sure."

He kept squinting at her. "Totally?"

The chick writhed in her grip, soft feathers warm even through the gloves, so she closed her fingers around it like a cage and tried to ignore the ticklish sensation of its tiny feet and beak. "Well, it belongs to someone else, and she asked us to find it and all the others like it," Lightning said, and gritted her teeth as the chick stopped struggling, kicked around for a bit, and began squeaking _very_ loudly.

Now the corners of his lips quirked up before turning downward in an obvious attempt to stop smiling. "Not sure if it doesn't like you," the man said, "or is just swearing at you because it can."

This prompted the chick to start trilling nonstop.

"Noisemaker," she grumbled. It would drive her mad to carry the thing with her, so she turned and went back out into the Augur's Quarter, depositing the bird in Primrose's waiting arms. The five chicks bounced around her feet as she crouched to talk more directly to them.

When Lightning returned to the plaza, she could see no evidence of the last chick anywhere. After a few queries, they were able to discover that the chick was actually in the palace garden, as it liked following one of the guards around because he fed it bits of his lunch and let it ride on his shoulder. She reentered the garden and followed the nearest path deeper into the well-kept shrubbery and flowering trees. They passed the flowers Caius had plucked a blossom from for her, and the further they went, the quieter the sounds of the city became. Soon, the only sound that reached her ears was that of the wind rustling in the brush.

"Someone's gotta be here," she murmured, scanning the immediate area, but seeing nothing. Feeling a little anxious, she paused long enough to listen for a few seconds, then continued on.

When soft footsteps crunched behind her, she stopped and looked over her shoulder.

Caius had a look of utmost displeasure on his face, but he moved aside and still said nothing when Lightning looked Lumina in the eye. The girl's large, blue eyes sparkled with mischief, her pink mouth curved into an unnerving smile, and she held her hands behind her back and walked with childish, slow, skipping steps. The whole ensemble unnerved her to no end, and she felt herself bristle.

"What do you want _now_?" Lightning muttered.

"Just wanted to congratulate you on getting everyone out of the Dead Dunes before it went under," she said, and stopped next to Lightning with her fists on her hips. "Well, not _everyone_. And let's not even go into everyone who got turned into a Cie'th before the crazy broke loose. But hey, at least you got _some_ out, right?"

Lightning lost her patience. "There a purpose to this?"

"Ooh, calm down, sis, I'm getting to that part." Lumina grinned at her, twirling her hair around one finger while the other smoothed down her skirt. "Bhunivelze unleashed Pulse so that he could wreck your progress. You turning your back on him... well, it was _audacious_, to say the least. But see, he knows that the longer you spend on this planet, gathering resources and saving people, the harder it's going to be to accomplish his goals, including for reasons you don't as of yet understand, so he's gotta accelerate it."

"He can try," Lightning sneered at her, and turned her back. "I'm done here, Lumina, go bother someone else."

"So Pulse rips open the Dead Dunes and steals one of your days."

She stopped, midstride, as the words sank in. Not wanting to believe them, she turned them over in her mind, but realized there existed no room for interpretation. She connected the dots quickly – Pulse ripping open the soil to spew chaos into the air, the result being to flood the entire continent and sink it below the sea.

"The chaos comes and gushes out," the girl said, as though narrating the Liberator's thoughts, "and it warps space and time so badly that the hours of the tenth day just kind of... disappear." She giggled. "Oh, but that's okay, you're the _Liberator_, the great and powerful _Lightning_, and you can accomplish _everything_ in just two and a half remaining days, right? Hope so, because on midnight of the ninth night, the end begins."

Slowly, she faced the girl, seeing Caius standing completely still out of the corner of her eye. "You better be lying."

Lumina giggled again, her eyes wide and sparkling. "Now, sis, do I _ever_ lie to you?"

Lightning scowled at her. "Yes."

Mockingly folding her hands and holding them over her heart, Lumina put on a look of hurt. "Ah, yes, _Lightning_, cutting right to the core of the matter as always. Let's not get into the finer details, shall we? But no, I'm not lying this time, not that I necessarily did _before_. But do you _really_ think you can take him on?"

"If he keeps pulling things like this?" she said. "Yes. I _have_ to."

"Are you prepared to kill Hope to do it?"

She hesitated a moment, before opening her mouth, but the girl saw it and giggled behind one hand.

"You think I'm not?" Lightning snapped at her.

"That's not an answer, it's an evasion," Lumina said. "But, whatever, not that it matters. You lost a day, all because of this chaos flooding the world – and what, you think Pulse is going to stop there, that he won't come after the rest of the world? The more chaos he encourages–"

Seeing Caius's expression darkening out of the corner of her eye, Lightning said, "Enough, you–"

"–to flow out, the more hours you lose. Eventually, _all_ your days will be eaten up, and that'll be the end of it. And if you can't get Vanille to save everyone out of the chaos in time, then you lose all of _them_ too!" Ignoring Lightning's deep scowl, she extended her arms and briefly twirled on her toes before clasping her hands back behind her back and looking sidelong at the woman. "And to think, all this because _somebody_ couldn't let go of the past..."

"_Enough_!" Lightning shouted at her. "You act like none of us know why this happened! You act like _no one_ knows Caius is responsible for all of this! And you think I don't _know_ the extent of what's at stake? You don't need to keep grinding it in. Now _leave me alone_!"

Lumina's eyes glittered. "Fine. I'll leave you alone." And she vanished.

Lightning shook her head and looked at Caius, but instead of looking away, he stared right at her, jaw set, lips pressed firmly together, eyes fierce. Reflexively, she took a small step back, regretting it when the skin around his eyes tightened further. "Caius," she said, "don't listen–"

"We need to find the last chocobo," he cut her off, and turned his back. "We must keep moving."

"Hey, listen, she didn't– none of this is–"

"I do not wish to discuss it."

Snorting, she moved to block his way, and he raised one hand, bringing it toward her shoulder, before she blocked it with an arm. For an instant, she saw the familiar spark of conflict in his eyes and felt it echoed within her own before it vanished, though he did not lower his arm. For a long moment, they simply stared at each other, eyes locked, as though gazing between crossed swords, waiting for the other to strike.

Then Caius pushed her arm away and stepped back.

"What is wrong with you?" she demanded. "So Lumina says words meant to sting. So _what_?"

Caius snorted. "For a woman with no emotions, you feel strongly."

She faltered at this realization. "That..."

"You are still missing your heart, as far as I can tell, and yet emotion comes out of you in spikes of feeling. It is not something that should be happening, and yet, there it is." He glared at her, then looked away. "We must keep moving. If we have lost a day, then we cannot waste any more time."

Lightning stared after him when he moved away. "You know, you didn't answer the question. You keep evading me when I ask you anything real personal."

"The contents of my thoughts and heart are not your concern, Liberator," he told her, his voice cold and firm. "If you could save me, then I would reveal them to you, as sweeping them away could rescue me from the dark. But it is not to be." Stopping a short distance away, he faced her. "Now, must you linger and waste time on me _once again_, or are we able to move on?"

Lightning briefly bared her teeth and kicked the ground, revealing rich brown soil standing out against the bright green color of the grass, and followed him without another word.

They found the last chick at the back of the garden being tended to by a guard with his helmet removed. He had the chick in his lap and was playing with it, looking rather like a child, laughing at its antics as it chased a beetle he had caught and kept just out its reach. Lightning hesitated, feeling reluctant to disturb his obvious joy at the bird, but she eventually gathered herself and approached.

The two returned the last chick to Primrose, and Caius did not speak the entire time, his face resembling a storm cloud. Lightning handed the chick to the girl.

"Thank you so much!" Primrose rubbed her cheek against the chick for a moment, who twittered and shook itself while stretching its tiny wings. When she set it down, all six set about squeaking and hopping around, some of them several feet into the air. "See? They're saying 'thank you'!"

Lightning managed to smile. "You're welcome."

"And now, it's time I went back with them, too. Thanks for all your help, er...?" She stared. "Name?"

"It's Lightning."

"Lightning, huh? Well, if I see you in the new world, I'll say hi. Thanks again!" There was a flash of light, bright enough to make her want to sneeze, and when it disappeared, a tiny yellow chick had taken the girl's place. It came forward, tugged on her robes twice with its tiny beak, squeaked again, and turned away. Together, the group of seven chicks went off to be closer to the larger chocobos.

Lightning's smile faltered. Somehow, seeing all the chicks together reminded her of the l'Cie, running from their fate, then deciding to face it, _together_. And it hurt. More than she expected.

Perhaps more than it should have.

She turned to look at Caius, but he seemed completely uninterested, leaning on one shoulder against the wall and looking away from her in the direction of the market district. Lightning started to approach, stopped, and shook her head. Caius had always seemed so strong that nothing, not even accusatory words, could affect him – at least, at the end, when _nothing_ could so much as slow him.

Would it really hurt to be more sensitive to whatever was going on his head, or try to figure out what it was?

Or would he just keep pushing her away?

_Was_ he pushing her away?

Conflicted and confused, she forced herself to approach him. She felt ashamed of herself for wanting to be closer to him, a sentiment she couldn't completely banish, and that she had allowed him to take her hand as long as he had, or that her mind still drifted back to it. What did it matter, anyway? Soon, he would be gone, and she would be moving forward into a new life in a new world. Or had her desire to be closer to him indeed grown out some gnawing need for companionship, for the friends she had missed since coming to Valhalla.

Not that she would ever admit it. She couldn't. But the accusation, if ever leveled against her, would not be entirely baseless, and in depths of her heart, she knew it.

And there arose another question. She had indeed recognized spikes of emotion and actual feeling, leaking through as though they had been suppressed rather than removed, yet she knew her heart was gone. What, then, was causing her emotional reactions, her outbursts of feeling, to reappear?

Was it all hers, or something else?

Forcing those thoughts aside, she picked up the pace, motioning Caius to follow her. He did, though he barely seemed to see her. This was Day Seven, and now that a day had been stolen, that left only two and a half, including what was left of today. If they had a _hope_ of making the end of the world less an ending and more a beginning, she would have to make the most of what little time was left.

* * *

By the time Lightning came up for air, as the saying went, the seventh day had passed into night. They had spent the entire day tending to residents of Yusnaan, whether it be guards trying to drive out monsters or people with so many problems that her mind spun trying to process them all. Some were simple fetch quests for people who didn't have the means or capability to do it themselves. Others were more complex, taking hours out of the day, and by the time she finally looked up at the clock, she could barely stand.

The day had simply been too much.

"Back to the palace, then?" Caius had not spoken much since the incident with the chocobos – a dozen words, at most – and to hear him now was somehow, and curiously, reassuring.

In response to his query, she shook her head. "No."

"Hmm." He rested both hands on his hips. "Is there somewhere you would prefer to rest?"

Lightning rubbed the back of her hand across her face. The palace was not inviting. She didn't want to look at the tired, battered faces of those who had escaped the desert's sinking. Bunking down here, in one of the inns, made her skin crawl, the thought of hearing so much noise at night, so close to the end, unnerving her.

"I want to go to Canopus Farms," she told him.

Lines appeared in his brow. "Are you certain?"

"Yes. It's quiet there – and don't worry, I won't let what happened bother me. Neither should you." Reaching out to touch his shoulder, she ignored the faint semblance of a flinch that passed through his body, admiring his restraint, and yet wondering what could have caused this sort of behavior. "Are you alright?"

"Lightning," he said, sounding tired, "please do not ask me again."

She let her hand drop to her side. "Fine."

At nine o' clock at night, the festivities were in full swing, the lights all on and soaking the air with their colors, and in it, he looked tired, as though as ready for the end as she was. The colors shimmered on his hair, turning it various hues, while his features remained in shadows. A fine layer of dust over his armor dulled the reflections and colors, reminding her less of the dark warrior trying to kill her in Valhalla and more of a deserter looking for the end of a very long, very hard road, getting closer with every step.

Lightning tried not to remember the cold, numbing darkness of the Sea of Chaos, tried not to think of how similar that and the end of the world would probably be, and instead turned to the train station.

That was the sort of world Caius, Yeul, and anyone she couldn't save would end up in, when this was over.

Did he – did _any_ of them – deserve that sort of end?

When they reached the Wildlands, the trek to the Farms was quiet. She rode on Odin's back, for the bird had met them at the station, with Caius keeping pace with them, but though she tried more than once to make conversation with him, every one of them failed. He gave simple answers, one-word definitive answers, or none at all. Though she still felt his chaos, he had pulled much of it back into himself, leaving her feeling oddly... _empty_. It felt as though he were slipping away from her, distancing himself.

_Detaching_ himself, in preparation for the end.

Though they had built bridges and done their best to find common ground, though he had sworn to protect her and she had chosen to stop blaming him, to call themselves "friends" would be an overstatement of whatever their relationship had become. She didn't know _what_ they were. They were companions, but beyond that, trying to fit their relationship into a neat little box proved difficult.

When they arrived, she swung off Odin and approached the innkeeper, feeling out of it as her head swam a bit, but stopped a short distance away to look at Caius.

"Where will _you_ be?" she asked of him, looking him right in the eye.

The ancient warrior gazed right back. "I can return to the temple," he said, but then he tilted his head, and his voice softened. "But then, you would be unguarded here. Pulse may attack this place next. As a land sitting atop the nexus of the chaos, he could cause enormous damage."

She searched his eyes. "True."

"Would you prefer if I stayed here, then, Lightning?"

"Here?" Looking around, trying to figure out where he could stay, only made her realize just how small this part of the Wildlands really was. "I... ah, where _would_ you stay?"

"Nearby," he said. "I gave my word that I would stay by your side. Yeul can do without me for a night."

"That might be true, but... you sure?"

"She will have me for eternity." His eyes never left hers. "You can only have me for two more days."

Leveling him with a steady gaze in return, she let those words hang between them.

Caius blinked and straightened. "You know of what I speak."

"Of course." She sighed. "I'm not your master, Caius. Do as you please. I will be here for the night." Patting Odin's side, she turned her back to him and made her way over to the innkeeper. After paying for a night's stay, she took a small room with a single bed, a table, and a closet, stripped off her gear, opened the window enough to let in a cool breeze, and crawled beneath the sheets.

It took far too long to quiet her mind enough to sleep, long enough to watch the moon rise high into the sky and the stars move, as she mulled over the past, the day's events, and the future, her mind being pulled at from all directions at once as she struggled to find purchase amongst the maelstrom of confusion that was her thoughts.

* * *

_So, here we go, the next chapter of Suscitatio. A couple of quick notes about this chapter: no, I'm not using Noel for cheap drama, and there's a purpose to his behavior; I nearly made Fang the one to die last chapter instead of Adonis, but soon decided it wouldn't mesh with the rest of the story, unfortunately; and no, I'm not making Caius and Lightning hold what's called the "conflict ball". There's a very good reason Caius is behaving the way he is. Some of you have figured part of it out, but it isn't the whole story. The upcoming chapters will make it clearer._

_Also, Pulse is not just a one-off. I didn't plop him in there unplanned - he's been planned for a long time, and there's no way I'm making him only show up once. But next time, he just might show up with some reinforcements. We're getting close to the end now, and so far, it does look like I'll have it finished and the last chapter out by the time FF15 is released, so it should be exciting. Stay tuned._


	41. The Titan Falls

_**40 The Titan Falls**_

Snow knew more about Gran Pulse and its history than he thought he had ever wanted to know. That he ever _would_ want to know. And it hadn't been by choice, not exactly.

The things he had seen from his time inside the Coliseum, peering into time, and even traveling into the time stream as a l'Cie, had allowed him to look at snapshots of the past. The timeline grew indistinct the closer he came to the world's birth, but he could still make out small pieces, and he still remembered them – glittering monstrosities made of crystal, their facets scattering the light of the young sun like a great prism, clashing on the young, green fields while the heavens raged around them.

War. Death. The end of one era, and the sudden beginning of another.

Pulse shaping his fal'Cie out of the earth and sending them forth to do his bidding. Disappearing.

Lindzei casting Cocoon and filling it with l'Cie and people. Vanishing.

Bhunivelze, turning away. Crystallizing.

And now, at the end of the world, the first steps were about to be repeated, only in reverse. A titanic clash was not necessary, of course. It was a cliché, almost, to ask for such a thing. It was something read in books or seen in films about people who didn't exist. But those stories had to come from _somewhere_.

The end of the world was something they would witness. He knew that already. Would it also include a titanic final clash between two mighty forces? Or be over in an instant?

Part of him _wanted_ to find out.

Lightning returned late that morning, still with Caius beside her. When he received the summons to come down to the lobby and greet her, he hesitated just outside to straighten himself out, a bit lopsided from running about and trying to get everything done at once. When he looked up, however, it was to see that she was not looking in his direction, but with her arms folded and chin lowered, leaving against one of the columns, not really _looking_ at anything at all. Caius stood beside her, closer than he might have expected him to be, hands resting on his hips, just looking down at her.

Snow flexed his fingers at his sides. The body language felt familiar. _They_ were familiar. Lightning lacked tension in her body from Caius's proximity and barely seemed to notice him there at all. And Caius, despite his perfect posture and mildly tense shoulders, still stood slightly off-center, elbows and wrists relaxed, his expression lacking any sort of malice. Rather, his eyes seemed soft.

Snow stifled a quirk of the lips as he felt a prickle in his fingertips. Something was happening between them, but he didn't want to speculate. It didn't feel right to. And, if he ended up being right, Lightning would _not_ be among those who had lost nothing when the world ended. He did not want to bear witness to that. He did not want to know, long before her, that there would be a scar on her heart she couldn't heal.

Lightning did not know that kind of loss, not yet, and he did not wish it upon anyone.

He stepped into the room, and as he moved closer, they didn't look up at him. Instead, he realized she was speaking softly, lips barely moving, and Caius listened.

Finally, nearly halfway across the lobby, they both looked up at the same time, meeting him with steady eyes.

Snow wavered under them. "Something up?"

Lightning studied him for a moment, then shook her head, rubbing at her temples. "Not sure," she said.

He rubbed a hand through his hair a moment. "So... why are you here?"

"Felt like I needed to be." She looked at him again.

Snow gazed at her. "Right...?"

"Snow, look..." Then she reached out, laying a hand on his arm. "I... want this to... be _over_. I'm going to keep fighting until the end, but I just... I just..." The grip of her fingers tightened against his bicep; he felt it tighten more when he raised that arm to rest his hand atop her forearm.

"You're tired of fighting, I know."

Lightning's brow furrowed before she released him. "Sorry. You got enough to worry about."

"Don't worry," he said, and gently nudged her shoulder. "You can't bother me, sis. Besides, if you can't find sanctuary here, where're you gonna find it, hmm? Don't sweat it." When she looked down at the floor, he nudged her chin with his wrist, making her look up again. "Seriously, now. Stop it. You don't need to."

Lightning's frown deepened. "Sure."

Snow realized it wouldn't make any difference what he told her and dropped his hand. "Alright, then."

Her eyes suddenly went to his. "Do you ever think about your time as a Cie'th?"

"Try not to," he said, shrugging one shoulder and half-smiling. "Why?"

"Ever wonder why you turned back?"

It took a great deal of effort on his part _not_ to let his expression fall apart. Yes. He did. He tried not to think about it, but it crossed his mind multiple times a day. Lightning's confusion had only added to his own. She hadn't done it herself, or else she would have known, or _should_ have known, anyway.

"Yeah. I do."

Lightning nodded, slowly and deliberately. "I didn't do it, Snow. I don't know who did, or why."

He frowned, but said nothing.

She flexed her fingers at her sides, then rolled her shoulders. "There is one thing I wanted to bring up. I suspect Pulse is going to come back, and that means he'll try to dunk another continent. I'm hoping it won't be _this_ one, but there's so many people here, so if it is..." Looking at him again, she filled her lungs with air and released it _very_ slowly. "Snow, just... do... do you still have the Shiva sisters?"

He gave her a small smile. "Far as I can tell, I don't, sorry. I don't know what happened to them, though it might just be because Etro died. But no, sis, I don't have them anymore."

She took a deep breath. "I don't know how long we have."

"Before he comes for this city?"

A pause, then, "Yes."

Snow shook his head and rubbed his hands across his face a few times. "What are _you_ gonna do?"

"Right now? I have..." Lightning blinked and looked at the floor. "I... have no idea. Maybe sleep. I can't really... I'm having trouble focusing now. A lot happened, but at least my mind is clear of the chaos." After a moment, she looked back up at him with a small smile, apparently ignoring his look of mild confusion. _Clear of the chaos?_ "Mind if I rest here again?"

"Yeah, sure. Same place should be available." Snow patted her shoulder. "You _look_ beat. Go get some rest."

She hesitated, glanced at Caius, then nodded and turned away. Snow watched her leave the lobby, shoulders back but her gait not as confident as he was used to seeing from her. Was she just exhausted, as he suspected, or was there something else weighing on her mind? Were _many_ things piling up within the confines of her mind that pressed down upon her heart and pulled her down closer to the shadows?

A bad feeling in his gut, the Patron moved on to do his duties.

He busied himself as best as he could. The duties of Patron were many, from security briefings to staff meetings to discussions about the city's budget. After neglecting his duties so long, issues had piled up, and he had spent the time since regaining his humanity trying to sort through it all. Honestly, it didn't matter that much, not with so little time left, but he felt a strong need to hang on to order, even in the waning hours of the world, rather than let it all slip into anarchy before the end.

This, now, was when the people needed a strong leader, who stood before them and assured them he would protect them, no matter what came against them. After failing as a leader for so many decades, he made his comeback with a strong and steady hand.

In mid afternoon, the staff dispersed for the hour break he had put in place long ago as a way of ensuring no one got too caught up or exhausted by the daily proceedings. He took the time to go out onto the balcony overlooking the city and lean on the rail, staring out over his people and the livelihoods they had built. It was a beautiful city, marred with spatters of darkness he had allowed to spring up and a corrupt corps that, instead of keeping order, turned a blind eye when bribed with money and pleasures. It was a city overflowing with hedonism, and he doubted there was enough time to rein it in. Perhaps in the new world, then.

From up here, the flowers of the garden filled the air with their thick, perfumey scent – sweet and warm, earthy and cool, a combination that reminded him of Bodhum, both old and new. The sky overhead was blue, dotted with fluffy white clouds. It felt warm, bright, and yet, oddly... _ominous_.

He sensed a presence behind him – a sweep of chaos across his heart, something all too familiar, as powerful as the bursts that had appeared in the palace in the past, yet far more contained. Even before turning around, he knew what – or rather, _who_ – it was, and responded accordingly, forcing the look of surprise off his face in favor of cautious welcome. "What brings you here?" he said.

Caius stopped just past the entrance to the balcony, his stance and features unreadable as a stone statue. "I thought it may be good for us to speak, however briefly."

"Oh? What about, then?"

Caius snorted very quietly and moved to the rail as well, though some distance away, and leaned on it, palms-first, staring out over the city, but not really seeing. "I was curious to know if you wished to question me, or speak to me, about what happened the day you became human again."

Snow leaned on the rail on his elbow, facing Caius. "Not really. But I did have a question."

Caius looked at him. "Ask."

Snow knew the dark warrior before him had a history of being quite dangerous, stretching far back into the shadows of the Farseers' early history, but he appreciated the man's bluntness regardless. Caius did not mince words, and it was something he could understand. "You're being good to my future sister-in-law, right?"

The other man lifted an eyebrow. "I assist however I can."

"I don't trust you, you know. It seems like she does, though, so I'll defer to her judgment. It's the only thing I _can_ do." Snow straightened and folded his arms. "But understand this, Caius Ballad: you ever hurt her, trust me, you're gonna experience a whole different kind of reckoning. And now just from _me_. Serah, as you can probably guess, can be quite a mean spirit herself. You'd be in trouble all over."

"I have sworn myself to her service." The warrior faced him fully, arms at his sides and shoulders back. "No amount of words from my own mouth can reassure you, but know that much. I could no more harm her now than I could ever have Yeul." He tipped his head, hair sifting around his shoulders, sending his adornments clicking. "Nor would I ever wish to, Snow Villiers."

The Patron curled the fingers of one hand. The weight behind those words was unmistakable. Caius probably did not even know it was present, but Snow was not about to point it out. If he was right – and he hoped, for Lightning's sake, that he was just imagining things – it would only end up hurting both of them. "Alright. Good enough."

Caius nodded. "Do you wish to say more?"

The Patron waved a hand in a dismissive gesture. "Look, I could stand here until I'm blue in the face, chewing you out for everything you've done, but there isn't a point, now, is there? From what I get, you're stayin' here, the rest of us are going to the new world, and I'm getting Serah back. Everything you did's gonna be wiped away like it never happened. If I open my trap now and start trying to bust you for everything that happened, what good is it? It's an old grudge, and it's not worth my time. It's not worth anyone's time."

Caius stared at him, and though his expression never changed, Snow saw the skin around his eyes tighten.

"I am not asking for forgiveness," he said firmly. "I do not seek it."

Though Snow tried to battle it away, he felt the corners of his lips curl a bit. "Whether you like it or not, sooner or later, that will happen. Not everyone hates you, you know. Not everyone holds a grudge. Besides, who am I to talk? You wanna talk about stuff folks have done, what about _me_? I was bad, too. I stayed faithful to Serah, sure, but I let the people of this city down." He swept an arm at the cityscape, drawing the other's gaze. "Hedonism swept in and took over. This used to be a big, beautiful, glistening city. Then I stopped caring. I told everyone to have fun and enjoy their lives, because the world was gonna end. So they did. They trashed the streets you don't see. They got in riots and started the Slaughterhouse. My guards were bribed to look away. The economy almost _collapsed_, and it just barely stayed stable enough to function at all for over a hundred years."

Caius looked back at him in silence.

"And through no effort of mine, let me tell you. It was my staff, the people I handpicked to make sure things played out smoothly, that kept everything on track." Snow snorted. "Not me. I slunk away and hid. I just wanted to die. I was trapped inside my own head, and I didn't want to get back out." He slapped the railing with both hands. "Trust me, man, you aren't the only one who failed. Maybe your failures were no worse than mine, but who knows? I can't judge what you did when I let this place become a cesspool."

"You did not do what I did, Villiers."

"No, but I wrecked this city through my own inaction. You just can't see it very easily."

"It never appeared so when we walked the streets."

"Easy to cover up. Poverty grew enormously. A small percent were just above that line. 'Working poor', they called it. I just... let it happen. I didn't care. I didn't even try." Snow chuckled dryly, remembering the economic reports laid in front of him, the dwindling treasury, the slow inflation of the city's gil as it failed to compete against Luxerion's much steadier currency, desperately drawing tourists and the affluent in an attempt keep the "glittering city" afloat, while on the inside, it rotted and crumbled.

"Can it recover?" Caius said.

"Not enough time," Snow muttered, "but we stabilized it. Barely. The treasury's almost depleted, currency has too little value, and the bottom is waiting to fall out of the economy, but we'll be able to keep it together long enough to make it to the end of the world. People still gotta eat, after all."

Caius frowned at him. "I have not spent enough time in the cities to recognize such signs of failure."

"People were too drunk on themselves to cause dissent, that's why," he said, "and those in poverty couldn't shout loud enough above the partying to be heard, so they kind of just... gave up. Some left for Luxerion or the wilds. I stopped listening to their voices. I stopped caring."

The warrior took a deep, slow breath, then let it out just as slowly. "It is nearly over, Snow. You will begin again in a new world, wipe the slate clean, and begin all your problems anew." His lips curved slightly. "Mankind is constantly in a state of flux, of waxing and waning – great achievements and hard falls. It will happen again in the new world. There is no such thing as a perfect future in this existence."

Snow's first instinct was to disagree, but when he thought of Cocoon, of Academia, of Yusnaan, of Caius's own prolonged life and all the things he had seen, he couldn't bring himself to. "Ouch, man. That hurts."

"Perhaps." Caius nodded. "And yet, you survive."

"You _can_ include yourself in this, you know."

"I am no more human than the beasts rising from the chaos." The smile vanished, and he looked away. "I no longer deserve to be included, but I have hope for your future. Beneath the stars of a new world, the sins of those who came before forgotten or overcome, you will have the chance to build something mighty."

In response to the other man's soft tone, Snow brought out the knife. "Do you ever wish you could go with us?"

Caius looked at him, without expression, and then away. "It is not possible."

"That's not what I asked, you know."

Caius's expression remained a perfect, enviable mask of utter neutrality, both frustrating and admirable to Snow, and he decided to let it go. Caius's heart seemed impenetrable – if he didn't want someone to see what he actually felt or thought about anything, it just wasn't going to happen. It was something he, as one who even now bore his heart on his sleeve without restraint, wished he could bring himself to do.

For a few minutes, they just stood at the railing, not speaking, barely seeing the city, as Snow contemplated everything the other man had said. Caius had centuries of experience behind every word he said. Trapped though he was in the body of a young man – late twenties, at latest early thirties, if he had to guess – he had seen the equivalent of innumerable lifetimes. Perhaps what he said did have weight.

As he began to think it was time to go back inside, everything grew very still.

It was not a physical stillness, as he tried to explain to others in his later years, when they crowded around to hear stories of the old world. The wind did not die and the gulls did not stop circling. No, it was as though he felt the universe grind to a sudden halt, including the flow of time itself. As though every atom of matter around him had ceased to move, and everything held its breath. As though existence had frozen in place.

A conundrum, then, when his eyes said one thing and his mind told him something else, as he looked all around and saw no changes he could perceive with his five senses.

But Caius's spine had lined up, straight as a steel rod, his grip tight on the rail and his eyes narrowed.

He probably felt it stronger than Snow ever could.

"You feel it?" Snow managed to say, voice crackling in uncertainty as he spoke. When Caius looked his way and nodded once, the Patron curled his hands into fists. "Where's Lightning?"

"Asleep. I will rouse her." As he spoke, Caius moved away from the rail, and his sentence trailed off into whispers as his body dissolved into smoke.

Snow wrapped his fingers tight around the rail and looked all around for some sign of what had upset the two of them. The sensation had not lessened, but rather gotten _stronger_. Feeling it like a weight across his shoulders, Snow shivered, feeling his pulse and breathing speed up a few notches. While the city slumbered in the afternoon, as it always did, he felt a growing sense of dread alongside everything else.

It was then that he noticed a patch of sky darkening fast.

He froze in place, eyes wide, as the patch of blue sky turned a deep, ominous gray, before pale blue lines cracked across it in a spiderweb pattern, brilliant against the darkness. As a strange sense of familiarity settled over him, he did not have any more time to react before that part of the sky shattered, revealing a tunnel of grinding gears and glittering crystals interspersed with bits of cloudy darkness, bright blue and teal in color, but with a sickly feeling that instantly jolted him back to the first time he was branded.

And when a massive creature made of steel descended in the midst of swirling clouds, single glowing eye peering over the city, Snow turned and ran inside.

_Not good, not good, not good_. As Lightning had predicted, Pulse now made Yusnaan his next stop.

As he reentered the main lobby, he saw Lightning, groggy-eyed but seeming alert, running along the upstairs balcony. When she saw him, she used her momentum to swing herself over the railing, dropping several stories into a feet-first landing that she turned into a roll – an impossible height for a normal human, but then, she wasn't exactly normal, now, was she?

"It's Pulse, isn't it," she demanded, not making it a question at all.

"Yeah." Snow tried to calm his pounding heart. "So, uh, what do we do, exactly?"

"We have to stop him," she told him. "If he's left alone, he'll turn the entire city to ash and all its inhabitants to Cie'th, just like he did in the Dead Dunes. I'm not losing another continent to that monster." Her lips peeled back from her teeth, and beside her, ever the steadfast companion, Caius glanced sidelong at her.

"Right." Snow took a deep breath, steadying himself. "I've got a lot of power. I know you do, too. And as for Caius, I'm sure he's got something up his sleeve. Can we take him?"

"We better," Lightning said, already moving toward the exit, "or the end of the world's gonna come quicker."

"Rouse everyone who can fight," Snow told a nearby guard, who looked shellshocked in the eyes, but the rest of his face stayed remarkably calm. "And I mean _everyone_. If we gotta throw _rocks_ at it, that's how it'll be!"

"Sir!" The guard snapped off a salute, turned, and ran.

Snow followed his future sister-in-law and the world's old enemy out into the sunshine and blue skies, wondering just how everything had gotten turned upside down and inside out in such a way.

* * *

Lightning threw herself into battle the moment she crossed the threshold into the sunshine. Cries of terror screeched out from the depths of the city, people dropping everything they had or clutching what they had close, knocking over items in their panic to get away from the towering beast in the distance. Pulse seemed to have alighted at the edge of the city, along the shore near the entrance to the warehouse district, and stood over it in dead silence, though the hole in the sky was still open – where he would soon retreat, no doubt.

Or so he thought.

_There has to be a faster way_, she thought as she ran. Not wanting to risk teleporting again, she struggled to think of the fastest route through the city – she had to cross the plaza and go through the merchant district, then down a flight of carved stairs to reach him... but would it be in time?

"We must move faster," her companion said at her shoulder, before blocking her way with one arm, keeping pace so that she wouldn't crash into him.

She skidded to a halt. "Wait, you got an idea?"

"Yes." He held out a hand.

Lightning looked at it, realized this wasn't the time for questions, and seized it tightly.

Caius took a half-step back, then reversed his grip and settled down on his heels a bit. Lightning recognized what he was about to do and half-crouched in response, before he suddenly threw her directly upward with all his strength. The wind rushed past her face and stung her eyes as she climbed higher toward the blue, and she looked around as her body slowed to see she was now a few hundred feet up – and level with Pulse's eye.

As her body began to sink again, Caius reappeared, midair, in a swirl of violet-hued smoke, and used the same tactic again, this time launching her straight across the city.

Hair whipping around her face, she brandished her broken sword, held up her shield, and huddled behind it as best as she could, flying with great speed and force toward the towering beast.

She heard an explosion, saw a shower of bright light, before her shield _banged_ against something, the sound almost deafening right next to her skull. As the impact caused her body to curl up tight and her spine to wrench itself upward and sideways, she quickly twisted in midair to land, catlike, on her feet, in time to bring her shield up once again. At least it held, even after crashing into Pulse.

He swung a hand around and missed her by mere feet – far, _far_ too close for something so huge.

She tried to focus on what needed to be done to stop him.

She wanted to laugh at herself. For all her power, what could _she_ and a group of normal humans and former l'Cie do? Caius was powerful enough to hold his own, but what of Snow, and herself? Even combined, were the three of them strong enough to take down the creature that had shaped their world?

Losing her grip, she bounced across the gaps in his armor, righting herself narrowly before sliding off. Pulse made no sound except for the grinding of metal on metal and some strange, ethereal sound that reminded her of a distant waterfall, rotating his torso to slap at her. For his bulk, he moved fast, and she narrowly dodged it. Looking for a place to ram her sword, she struggled to stay upright.

Then came a bright flash of purple that nearly blinded her, and Pulse seemed to stagger, a gap widening in his shoulder armor and baring blue-tinted, luminescent flesh.

She growled and stabbed out.

Instead of blood, crystalline energy spewed out; Pulse rolled his shoulder, and she lost her grip.

"Hang on, sis!" came a distant shout; she landed on something hard and angled, hearing the sound of crystal rapidly forming like pieces of glass shattering across a concrete floor. The angle allowed her to get her feet back under her, and it was in time to realize that Snow had summoned a sheet of bluish crystal in midair.

"Good man," she said, and tucked her legs. The crystal swooped around, back toward Pulse, and she launched off the end, sword-first, narrowly missing Pulse's hand as he made a grab for her.

_Thunk_. She, and her sword, glanced off his chest armor.

"This isn't going to work!" she shouted as she struggled to find a handhold. Finally, she caught one in his chest armor, sliding to a sudden halt, dangling precariously. It was like attacking with a tiny pebble.

"Lightning! Let go!"

She recognized the voice as her companion and did just that, free-falling in front of Pulse. Snow caught her again, and she looked back in time to see an explosion of violet-tinted chaos on Pulse's chest armor. As he staggered back and wavered, she landed, rolled, and stood just as Caius moved to stand beside her.

"This will not work," he told her. "It is merely an attempt to kill with a thousand cuts, yet we cannot even make the cuts. Though..." He looked at her. "...I did crack his chestplate."

"I was thinking that," she said as Pulse suddenly surged forward. She gasped, trying to get away as he brought one of his enormous hands down, but just as it was about to impact, Caius braced beneath it, holding it back with a flash of bright energy laced with chaos. A moment later, he forced Pulse to reverse by pushing back with a mighty burst of energy, causing the hand to recoil away from them.

Then Pulse slammed that hand down on the ground. Dirt and rock geysered into the air. His eye glowed brighter.

A sinking feeling came to her; she felt sick.

There was no stopping the wave of energy that laced out across the city, seeking the nearest citizens. She could not shut out the cries of terror before they devolved into agonized wails and the sound of shuffling crystal feet. Her mind could not erase the image of the innocent being swallowed up by Pulse, given impossible Foci, and twisted instantly into mindless monsters that knew only pain.

Snow roared, and this time he shaped a spear in midair, immense in size, and threw it directly at Pulse.

It speared the crack in the chestplate and shattered.

But the crack itself widened.

Lightning forced her mind to clear and refocus, having a sudden thought. "Snow," she said, pulling on his jacket to get him to look at her, "that crystal energy, does it come from nowhere, or can you freeze things? Something that would give the crystal–"

Pulse interrupted them by slamming his hand down, forcing them to scatter. That was when he decided enough was enough and blasted the stones with a _crack_ of thunder and light. It deafened her, sending rocks flying, skittering over the sand; she flew through the air, flipped over her shoulder, and crashed into a boulder. For a moment, her vision swam, but she shook her head and climbed back up.

Charging a ball of lightning, she pitched it toward the crack in the armor. It impacted and exploded; Pulse stumbled to one side and clawed with one hand at the impact site.

"I know you didn't finish, but I got what you meant!" Snow shouted at her. "Caius! Hey! Help me out!"

Caius, who was back at her side, glanced at him, then at her.

"Pull the chaos from the Sea," she told her, looking him dead in the eye. "Force it toward Pulse and the crack in the chestplate. If we can knock the armor off, we have a chance at getting to his core. That might be the only way to..." She breathed in quick through her teeth. "...to... to kill him."

"You believe we can? Then so be it." And he vanished in a flicker of shadow.

Having righted himself again, Pulse began to move forward, toward the city, causing wind and dust to rush into the vacuum left in his wake. Lightning fought past it, knowing they had to stop him _now_, or was going to sink the entire continent... and the thought of losing another made her feel a little nauseous.

They had to make a decisive victory, and soon. This was one battle they couldn't afford to stretch out.

Then she heard something, and turned her head.

From the Sea of Chaos came a thunderous roar, a cacophony of crashing waves and thunder, and she stared in awe as a pillar of water rose into the sky, swirling tightly and pulling the rest of itself in. Violet streaks of energy twined with the waterspout; it grew higher and higher, glowing blue and purple and surrounded by puffs of shadow, until it towered over even Pulse.

Then the tendril at the top surged forward with mighty speed, the sound of a storm in its wake. At the same time, Snow saw and raised his hands. From his fingertips came tendrils of glittering crystal that arced into the sky, intercepted the waterspout, and flash-froze it into an enormous spear of energy.

A spear of energy that rushed toward Pulse.

With a resounding _crack_ and sound of shattering metal that made her ears ring, Pulse reeled back, the spear piercing his body and breaking apart the armor, then protruding from the rear, dissipating into chaos again as it emerged. The last of the waterspout vanished from the Sea; it churned with great, loud noises as it settled again.

Pulse now pitched forward, landing face-down. A great puff of dust rushed away at the impact; his arms moved very slowly, drawing themselves beneath his mighty bulk.

But Lightning was already running straight toward him, launching herself upward, climbing swiftly up his arm and shoulder toward the hole torn in his body that spewed crystal energy into the air. Somewhere inside there – she hoped, and _not_ up in the great portal still open in the sky – was the crystal he had shaped himself from. She had seen him do exactly that when he had originally branded them, and now all she could do was count on it being somewhere inside his body of flesh now...

The armor of his torso, no longer held on by the chestplate, but by bolts drilled deep into his body, had cracked, and large pieces had fallen away. As she ran, wherever she saw bare flesh, she slashed, spilling more crystal energy into the air, where it swirled and sparkled and made sounds like the trickle of water.

She made toward a piece of shoulder armor, intending to launch herself off it. It would give her the perfect arc to land right on – perhaps through – the hole, before he got up.

Her feet pounded on the metal; she made a final leap toward the piece of armor and readied herself.

_You are not allowed!_

The voice inside her head, roaring like a monster, came so suddenly that it threw her off her feet with a gasping cry; she clutched at her head with her free hand, then pounded her temple with one fist. "Bhunivelze!" she shouted to the air around her. "You are not allowed in _here_! Get out!"

_You are not to continue! Pulse is my chosen liberator of this world now, he who shall cleanse the world of your foolishness, free of the influence of chaos, and you persist in–_

"Shut _up_!" And, charging through the blinding pain of Bhunivelze's might, she sprang.

As he roared inside her head, stabs of pain dug into her spine, hard and sharp like behemoth claws, and began to squeeze her bones. She shook her head from side to side, fighting right through it, distantly feeling the wind rush past. Time seemed to slow to a crawl. _It's not real_, she reminded herself, _it's not real, it's not real, it's not real it's not real it's not real_. The mantra stayed on a loop inside her school.

Gravity pulled her down.

Her sword punched through flesh. It plunged deep.

She had missed.

Lightning opened her eyes, not even realizing she had shut them to begin with, and looked around through the haze of pain for the opening in Pulse's body. He had began to stand up, but an explosion of shadows and violet sparks caused him to fall again, rattling her from her perch. She skidded, grabbed the first thing she saw, swung herself around, and rushed toward the opening in his body, stumbling because of the pain.

"Get out!" she shouted again, the pain becoming more intense the further she ran. "_Get out_!"

_You will not interfere!_ The false god began to scream at her. _You will not!_

The next flash of pain sent her to her knees, unable to breathe, and for a moment, she thought she _saw_ him – a being of light, inhabiting Hope's body, wreathed in flames and shrouded in flaming gold robes, hand outstretched toward her with a weapon etched with images of the sun and moon in his other. He towered above her, and to look upon his face, with blazing eyes and a mouth filled with fangs, was horrifying.

But how could she fear a false god anymore? After all that had happened and everything she now knew, the worst he could give her was death, and what was death in exchange for others' freedom?

Digging her fingers in, she kept going.

_You cannot! If you destroy the gates, the madness will rush in!_

And that was how she knew, from the growing panic she heard, that Pulse could be killed.

With all her strength, she climbed to her feet and staggered toward the hole. As she made her way, she called out to her companion with all the might she had left in her lungs. "Caius!" she cried out, knowing he could hear her, even if her mind couldn't quite believe it. "Tear him asunder! _Break him open_!"

And with that, moments later, came a second search of chaos, this time not encased in crystal, plunging deep into the hole and tearing it open even wider than before.

Cracks spread out from the opening, brilliant blue-white, nearly blinding her.

Pulse's body became covered with them.

The end was near.

Forcing herself past the pain, she made her way to the edge of the opening, watching the glowing flesh beneath her feet dissolve away in puffs of blue-white light. In the center of the opening, she spotted something brighter than everything else, even the crystal energy still pouring from the wounds, a faint humming sound audible even from this distance. It was small, smaller than she had expected, but it was what she needed.

The sword in her hand, forged by Bhunivelze to carry out his cruel task, would now be used to destroy Pulse, who continued to act to carry out his will.

Lightning leapt off the edge, broken edge first. It collided with the crystal.

At first, nothing seemed to happen. As the sword struck, she hung suspended in midair. The humming stopped. The sword stopped. _Everything_ stopped, except for the outpouring of shimmering energy.

Then she felt her sword begin to move again, sinking into the crystal as though it were made of the softest material known to man. The bright, glowing core was next, and as her sword struck it, the core exploded outward, throwing her back with enormous force. She tucked her body as Bhunivelze screamed in her head, cursing her existence and her very name, but she heard anger, and fear, and panic there, too.

Something came between her and the ground, slowing her descent. It disappeared, slowed her again, then stopped her just before she struck the ground. As it touched her, Bhunivelze's voice went out like a switch being flipped.

Lightning sat up and watched Pulse's body dissolve into energy.

Her chest heaved from the exertion of fighting; she sagged back against something, but did not have to turn her head to look at what it was – the fringes of chaos brushing over her heart and closing off her mind from Bhunivelze told her everything she needed to know.

Snow doubled over, hands on his knees, panting.

For a long time, there was silence. She finally looked back to find that she had ended up against Caius's shoulder as he crouched on one knee, arm slung over that knee, and stared at the spot Pulse had vacated. Carefully, she moved her legs, stood up, waving a hand when she caught his look of concern.

"Done," she murmured, then, "Thank you."

He did not verbally respond, but she saw some emotion in his eyes she couldn't quite name when she looked at him.

Snow, tired but having regained his breath, wandered over to her. "Alright?" he said.

"Yeah." She returned her sword to her back and collapsed her shield. "You and Caius made a good pair."

"All three of us made a good _team_. We got it done. Felled the beast and saved the city." Snow smiled, but it was thin and obviously forced. "Speaking of saving the city, I, uh, better go see about my new Cie'th denizens. If you were able to save me, you can save them... uh, right?"

Lightning met his eyes and said nothing. The smile crumbled off his face.

"We'll... cross that bridge, huh." And he turned and crossed the sand at a fast walk, heading for the stairs that would take him back onto the city streets.

Lightning stayed where she was for a while, looking at the sand underfoot while the sun beat down on her shoulders. Caius remained close at her side, breathing steady, but saying and doing nothing else, not even moving. From here, she could not hear the Sea of Chaos, and there was no breeze. It was silent.

"I should go see if I can help them," she murmured at last, and followed the path Snow had taken.

Caius took a long time to follow her.

Most of the citizens in the streets closest to the warehouse district had become Cie'th, their bodies turned to blackened crystal, their human faces frozen in looks of pain, or fear, or horror. Those who had escaped branding had all but vanished, those who remained having climbed atop their shop or huddled into alleys, no doubt hoping to avoid getting too close to the beasts. Lightning approached one of them from behind, quietly, trying to avoid setting it off or frightening it, and raised a hand.

But nothing happened, even when she concentrated on the Cie'th, and it continued to shuffle along.

Lightning stepped back, then again, and again, until she almost backpedaled away from the madness, but her eyes could not be torn away from the creatures shuffling and groaning their way around the street and shops. No one would look at her, and Snow, standing in the middle of the street, just stared.

Palace guards had appeared on the streets, apparently having taken that long just to leave the palace, but though most were decked out in armor and carried rifles, they did not attack the Cie'th. Instead, they stood stock-still near their patron and looked all around with empty eyes. Cora was there, along with other captains, and she stood closest to Snow, but did not look at him. She did nothing at all except stare at the nearest Cie'th, who wailed softly, but ignored both of them as it shuffled along.

Lightning clutched her hands tight to her chest, over the crystal on her armor, and bowed her head, closing her eyes tight. Another group she couldn't save. More people she'd failed.

_More whose fates were sealed by Caius's foolishness_.

That traitorous voice twisting inside her head made her body tense up. This was not Caius's fault, not directly. He had brought the world into this state, but _Pulse_, and by proxy, _Bhunivelze_, had done _this_. It was not something she could blame Caius for, or that she _wanted_ to blame him for. No, Bhunivelze, the false god of light who toyed with people as though they were his playthings, who screamed and raged at those who disobeyed him, was to blame for every bit of this.

Not Caius. _Not_ her companion, whose uneasy heart of chaos shielded her from Bhunivelze's influence, and whose determination to help and great power was a wildcard she wielded now against Bhunivelze, holding the upper hand in a game they played on a board set thousands of years ago.

Together, they would change the outcome to something Bhunivelze would never expect. They _had_ to.

Unfortunately, she herself couldn't guess the outcome at all.

Lightning turned to look at her companion as Snow moved, eyes dead, and began to gather up the Cie'th with quick spurts of crystal energy and herded them with walls of ice, away from his human citizens. Where he was taking them, she didn't know, and she realized she didn't much care. At the end of the world, either there would be another miracle to save them, or they would plunge into the chaos as Cie'th, and stay that way.

Caius, however, did not look indifferent. Though his features, as usual, were unreadable, his eyes were fierce, and even when she faced him fully, he didn't even glance her way. He just stared past her, toward the Cie'th, hands at his sides, body rigid. She had seen this same stance and expression before, after the deaths of Yeuls he'd carried to the waters of Valhalla to be washed away and reborn.

"This isn't your fault, Caius," she told him, gently. "Don't blame yourself for this."

He said nothing for a while. Then, "I need time to think." His voice came to her so soft that she just heard it, heavy as though weighed down with lead. It drifted to her, and her the void of her heart, bearing the fringes of who she was, felt tight at the sound of it. He wasn't listening to her. Already he hid something from her, and again, she saw it now, wavering in his eyes and lacing down his bones to spark out from his rigid fingers.

She took a step closer. "Where will you be?"

Now, he looked at her, and his eyes hit her with the full force of a hammer blow. Hollow. Deep. Dark. And yet, so full of _pain_ that she nearly recoiled from them. A man's eyes should never look like that, she knew. _No one_ should have a heart so dark, so damaged, so overflowing with pain and... and _guilt_, she saw, that it reached out and grabbed her like that, dared her to stare back, and yet _begged_ her to.

A powerful urge, one that truly frightened her, rippled through her blood: to reach out for him.

_I don't need him_.

"You will find me when I am ready to be found."

Her voice failed on her tongue when he abruptly turned and vanished into smoke. His name followed her attempt to stop him, but it, too, stumbled over her tongue and perished upon her lips. He was gone, and she couldn't do anything about it. She didn't even know where he had gone. Without him, she felt strangely naked, alone, without the weight of his presence at her side or the touch of his heart upon hers, and wanted to laugh at her foolish mind as it decried the fact that the Destroyer had left her side without telling her where he went.

But she couldn't shake the stone in the pit of her stomach. Caius was not going off to be alone for a while. He had _left_ her, for the first time, to be caught up in his own thoughts. And though he had sworn to stay by her side, which meant he _would_ return, just how long would he be gone?

Not knowing what to do, she settled down on a bench and placed her head in her hands.

_You foolish woman_, the voice whispered inside her head, strained, panicked, and angry. _You do not know what you have unleashed upon this world. There is a force waiting to be freed that will cause ultimate destruction. I wished to stop it and protect my children, but you have doomed all of your kind_.

Lightning curled her body tighter, but a mixture of faint sensations mingled in her mind.

If this mysterious "force" could frighten even Bhunivelze, it was either in their best interest to let it rise and strike back, or they were truly about to unleash a worse horror, and she could not imagine what it could be.

Eventually, she stood up and followed Snow to occupy her mind for a while.

* * *

_The reason this chapter took way longer than I had planned was mainly because I got hung up on the Pulse battle. I knew I couldn't stretch it out like other battles, simply because of the scale of it. It **had** to end decisively, and quickly, just like Lightning says. The quickness of it is also intended to send a message to Bhunivelze: he is very strong, but he can't quite fight the forces of chaos, which resides within mankind's heart, but not his. It did affect him, but of course, there are other pieces in place that Lightning doesn't yet know about, but have been hinted at most blatantly in this chapter..._

_Anyway, the next chapter contains material I have been planning almost since I started this chapter. Because of that, I expect it to be out faster. We're in the last act now and nearing the home stretch, but I've still a few bits up my sleeve for later. Thank you, and I'm extremely sorry about this taking so long. Enjoy, and let me know what you think!_


	42. Prism

_**41 Prism**_

"Wait a minute, you went out and slew _Hallowed Pulse_ without me?" Fang curled her lip with feigned distaste, her red-tinged tresses sifting over both shoulders when she shook her head. "I must've missed somethin' amazing out there. Ah, to have given Pulse a little piece of my mind." Her green eyes were tired, but still glittered with mirth when she looked at Snow. "Hope you did well enough without me."

"Yeah. Caius was the one who knocked him down, though. I helped. Then Lightning killed him." He managed a small smile. After having spent forty minutes rounding up all the Cie'th, he'd herded them into a makeshift pen of crystal out by the warehouse district. They could still be heard howling a bit, but at least they weren't about to get out anytime soon – and he had guards posted, just in case – and it helped his mind stay calm. "It was real nice seein' him fall, though. The world-shaper, killed by a broken sword."

He and Fang, in the waning hours of the afternoon, had taken up residence on his personal balcony. Now that he had decided to throw open the shutters and let the sun's light flow into every crevasse, his world seemed flushed with light. To know Serah was coming back helped, of course. They were settled in comfortable chairs, content beneath the open sky. Snow was glad to enjoy the view, knowing the three had averted catastrophe for his city, stopping Pulse before he could damage the livelihood of those left behind.

"Speakin' of Miss Smiley Face... where _is_ she?" Fang _harrumphed_ and folded her arms while crossing one leg over the other. "Y'know, haven't seen her for a good while."

"Not really sure." Snow tipped his head back. The sky was violet, and near the sun, it turned amber. The stars had become to come out. The fireworks would start soon. "She said she was going to go out into the city and try to help some more people, but she seemed a little distracted." In his lap, his hands came together and fingers laced. They tightened until his knuckles hurt. "Think it's because of Caius."

Fang blew through her lips. "Can't believe she's draggin' him around still, but she apparently judged him good enough to keep around. That should be enough for both of us."

"What, you trust her judgment?"

"Ha." She looked sidelong at him with a smirk. "Never. But you can't say her mind ain't sound."

Snow smiled at that before looking back over the city. For a moment, his mind's eye roved over Lightning's face – solemn, _very_ solemn, not just emotionless or detached like when they had first run into each other. If it was indeed because of Caius having left, then it was more than just him vanishing for a while. That had been a few hours ago, and he hadn't heard from her since.

"Am I missin' the party? You know you can't start without me."

Snow shifted in his seat and smiled at the sight of Sazh walking into the room. Behind him came Vanille, and some distance behind her came Noel. Only the boy looked upset, while Vanille smiled a little and Sazh looked openly pleased to see Snow and Fang. "Old man," Snow said, "you're late."

"Yeah, well, don't get too excited, now." Sazh pulled a chair away from Snow's desk and set it out on the balcony, where he gestured for Vanille to sit. For a moment, she protested, but he assured her he didn't need it and leaned on the balcony rail instead, so she sat down and crossed her legs. "What'd I miss?" Sazh said.

"Not much," Fang said. "Just talkin' about Pulse."

He looked bemused. "What about Pulse?"

Snow gave him the short version then, telling him about how Pulse himself had come and tried to destroy the city and sink the continent, but had failed because of their combined efforts. Through it all, Vanille seemed fascinated, Sazh looked pleased, and Noel, leaning against the edge of the balcony entrance, half in the shadows, just kept staring at Snow with an unreadable expression on his face.

At the end of it, Sazh took a deep breath and whistled softly. "Wow," he said, "you guys really did somethin' amazing. Too bad I missed it."

"That's what I said," Fang grumbled. "Now I'm all sad."

"Yeah, but now we have to focus on how to go about taking care of the end of the world. Things are quiet _now_, but Bhunivelze will probably still pull something out of his sleeve." Snow folded his arms, then decided to stand and fold his arms again, pacing a little. "We took down Pulse. That's probably not something he's happy about. He could still bring out more monsters, or even Lindzei." He blew through his lips. "Whatever happens, we have to be ready for _anything_. Lightning defied him. We're not out of the woods yet."

"Don't we know it," Fang said quietly. Leaning back, sunset-hued clothing rippling and shimmering in the sunlight, she crossed one leg over the other and folded her hands over her belly. "It's the calm before the storm. Bhunivelze isn't gonna let us off that easy. We just gotta make it to the end."

"And I still have to figure out how to help the people trapped in the chaos," Vanille said, her voice strong and clear. "Lightning said only I can do. I have _got_ to figure it out."

"As long as it doesn't involve you dyin' on me, then I'm all for it," Fang said. "You'll probably figure it out right at the last second or somethin'. Isn't that always how it is with us?" Flexing her fingers, she scowled. "Wish I could have been there to give Pulse a piece of my mind for killin' Adonis. If I get to smash Bhunivelze's face in, though, I can be happy with that. _He_ sent Ereshkigal to kill my bandits."

"We'll get the chance," Snow said. "With Caius on our side, we probably have more power than we need."

Noel shifted and looked uncomfortable. "Sorry if I don't seem so keen on that," he muttered, shaking his head and clenching his fists. "But I'll fight with you guys to the end."

"Noel, you can't keep doing this," Vanille said. "If you keep everything you feel bottled up, it'll hurt more."

"I don't have to like what he did," the boy said, "and that's the end of it."

"Is this still because of Yeul?" Vanille said gently.

Snow watched them for a few moments, then looked away toward the city. It was not his place to listen in on that conversation, and he didn't want to. "Hey, you two, if you need to discuss something, take it away from us. Don't think this is a conversation we need to hear."

"There's nothing to discuss," Noel said quietly. "Please, continue."

Vanille frowned, and Snow sighed. "Alright, then," he said, leaning against the railing. "From what I got from Lightning, tomorrow is the final day, so sometime around then, the world's gonna end. Who knows what else is gonna come around? So, is everyone ready for this? Not like we got much choice."

The dragoon stood, whipped her spear off her back, and flicked it open. Though worn and chipped, the spear still gleamed in the sunlight. Everyone looked at her, and no one spoke. There was no need to. Without a word, Fang had spoken for them all, and everyone knew it.

"Alright, then, thank you, Fang." Snow waved a hand at her, and she looked approvingly at him. "Anyone else?"

"I'm not a l'Cie anymore. Don't have much exceptional strength of my own. But..." Sazh shifted his weight and laid both hands on his pistols. "I still got my guns, and I can still use 'em."

"All of us have something we can use in a fight." Vanille raised her staff and waved it in the air. "Don't worry."

"It'll be over soon," Noel said under his breath, drawing her eyes to him.

"But we have to earn our way to the new world all the same," Snow said. "When I was in the Coliseum, I heard there was a final battle to take place at the end of the world, a clash between two powerful forces. We don't know if that prophecy is still valid, or who it's supposed to occur between, but I still think it'll happen. Maybe it'll just be us against the beasts of the chaos, who knows? But it's supposed to be big."

"We heard bits of that in Oerba," Fang said, letting her spear dangle at her side. "I guess the fal'Cie tried to twist it so that it meant the fall of Cocoon. Even back then, they were trying to bring about this exact end. Caius just did it for them in a different way. If there's any fal'Cie left at all, I'm sure they're happy." She looked at the spear, raised it again, studied it, then collapsed it once more. "It'll be worth it."

"Then we can all go to the new world and be happy." Sazh grinned for a brief moment. "Good to get some rest."

Noel picked that moment to walk out.

Snow frowned. He didn't know enough about Noel's unique situation to make a guess as to what had upset him, other than remembering his lamenting about losing Yeul several centuries back, which was the last time the two had been on easy, comfortable terms. Perhaps, like himself, he had lost the will to go on, having lost the one thing that had kept him tied to this world. One by one, everything else had slipped away – the friendships he had, Serah, the world he once loved – and darkness had set in.

"Uh... right, so," he continued, "about the end of the world... I don't know if there's really much else we can do in this case. It kind of is what it is, and I just want to make sure everyone's alright."

"Good as we can be," Sazh told him. "My son's trapped in that chaos, somewhere, and he's alive. Vanille will be the one to save him, I guess, if Lightning can't. Whatever happens, we've defied the odds before, and I guarantee you we can do it again, don't you worry."

A pause, then Vanille said, "Excuse me for a moment," and also walked out.

The warrior nearest him frowned at her retreating back, but didn't look interested in following. Instead, she turned and stood at the railing, arms folded, overlooking the city. "Quite a view," she murmured. "Reminds me a little of Palumpolum in the waning light. Man, that was a pretty city." She shifted her weight. "You know, I'm gonna miss this world. I'll be honest. Oerba had flowers everywhere. They even bunched up around the lakes. I never got to see as much of Gran Pulse as I'd like, but what I did, I loved."

"Yeah, know what you mean," Sazh said. "Gran Pulse was rough, but it sure was pretty. But, hey, as long as we keep memories of it, and tell stories about it, it's never _really_ gone, right?"

Fang smiled. "Yeah. Guess you're right."

"I really want to know about this 'final battle', though," Sazh said. "Is that what's gonna destroy the world?"

"Who knows. Nobody even knows what's going to happen. All we know is that, without anyone to hold the chaos back, it's going to consume _everything_, even the rest of the universe. _Everything_ is going to be destroyed. I guess we get a whole new universe on top of a new world. Not _that_ bad of a deal."

Fang scuffed her toe a few times. "The whole universe, huh? You know, if I get to live to see it happen, to see all this go down, it's sure gonna be a sight to behold."

* * *

Vanille followed Noel out into the corridor, where he had taken to leaning against the wall, palms pressed against it, body rigid, but his shoulders were far from straight. Every piece of body language told her something bothered him, deep in his soul, and it threatened to come out in a far worse form. When she approached, she reached out, not letting him flinch out from under her touch when he tried.

"If this is about Yeul, do you _really_ think she wouldn't want you to go to the new world and have a future all your own?" she demanded of him. "Do you _really_ think that?"

"No! No, of course not." Now he looked at her, over his shoulder. "I just... I don't know _what_–"

"You can't keep living like this, Noel. Let go of that darkness, or it'll consume you. Whatever it is you feel for Yeul, or the future, or for Caius, you _have_ to let it go, or you'll be right back in the same place." Holding her free hand to her breast, she clenched it in a fist. "Take it from me, someone who knows too well."

"I don't know how I feel about any of this." At least he had the sense to keep his voice down. "I know I have to let go of her, or I can't be happy, but I can't stop _loving_ her."

"Nobody told you to. Love hurts. It _does_." She chewed on her lip a moment, then moved her hand from his shoulder to his chin when he lowered it, forcing him to look at her again. "Loving someone this much isn't weakness, and you know that. _She_ knows that. It's okay for you to always love her, as long as you're willing to move forward into the future, even if it means you never see her again."

"Yes, right, I... I know." Looking stricken, he shook his head, then closed both hands around his temples. "But I just... how I... _feel_ about Caius..."

"You still love him. You told us that. And that's okay, too."

"But–"

"Stop that, Noel, you're coming apart." Clucking her tongue, she gently pried his hands off his temples. "Now, take a deep breath and get your head in the game. When this is all over, regardless of the outcome, _then_ you can think about how life's been treating you. For now, just... try to relax."

He groaned. "What am I supposed to do?"

"Like I said, let go." She tapped a finger on his chest, over his sternum. "Things'll be much better, you'll see."

Deflating a bit, he looked at the floor. "And how do _you_ know?"

She smiled a little. "I just do." Remembering his response to her attempting to comfort him before, knowing she had the potential to open a floodgate, she still decided the positives outweighed the possible negatives and reached out to embrace him. He was taller than her, though not by a whole lot, so she had to wrap her arms around his waist, but it was enough, and he returned it, embracing her shoulders.

"Alright, you made your point." The embrace was a little tighter than one a mere friend should give to another, but he had enough sense to pull back quickly. When she looked at him, his eyes were still solemn, but at least he gave her a crooked half-smile. "I'm alright. I can do this."

"Good." Crossing her arms, she lifted her chin. "_That's_ the Noel I've always heard about."

* * *

Caius did not choose to end up in any place in particular. He simply stepped away from Lightning, letting his body meld into the chaos that surrounded him and bled into him as part of him. The sensation of disappearing from the world of solid form was one he was well used to, of course. He had done it, in some form or another, for centuries. He had spent five hundred years finding ways to escape Yeul's gaze and the fleeting touch of her hand on his arm. In the chaos, he could still feel her, but he could hide away in his heart.

Within the chaos, he allowed his form to dissipate and his sense of time to slip away. Being inside the chaos, fully immersed in it, was a sensation he found difficult to explain, even now. It seemed alive, and not, detached from time, and full of it. It was memory and loss, life and death, and through it, he could touch the furthest reaches of the world, though with some difficulty. Energy sources he did not recognize flowed through it fabric, but as before, he could not determine what it was, almost as though it hid itself from him.

He drifted close to Yeul's presence, and she reached for him, but he avoided her touch.

The Yeul who had lived to seventeen cared deeply for him. Her love was the strongest, the fiercest, the most desperate, the one most looking forward to spending eternity with him. He had known of her particular affections ever since she had actually lived, and even then, he had turned her away. The world beyond, within the chaos, would be no different, but he had not voiced that truth, and she had not acknowledged it.

Losing track of himself, he drifted in the hollow of the Sea of Chaos, below what was left of the world, for a time. Calling upon memories trapped in the flow allowed him to reach deep into the past, and he saw images of the old world – the clear waterfalls tumbling over moss-covered rocks, the vast expanses of Gran Pulse's grasslands, even places he had not seen with his own eyes, like the Gapra Whitewood.

And it struck him all over again. This land he had so beloved, his home, the land of his ancestors that had existed for so many centuries, would be lost to time, forever.

Beneath the remaining pieces of the world was the core of the planet. The world balanced precariously upon it, perched atop a whirlpool of chaos that kept it afloat. Around the whirlpool swirled endless gold-tinged clouds, filling the void left behind by the rest of the world being destroyed. The chaos had not yet surged beyond this world, but when the final wall between it and the universe broke, there would be nothing to stop it. The destruction of the entire universe would come, and no one would be able to stop it.

In some ways, it fascinated him.

When he reclaimed his solid form, he found himself on a balcony in a building quiet as death, overlooking Luxerion. The sun was still visible in a cloudless blue sky, sparkling on the water, casting hard, black shadows, but the silence felt heavy on his ears. Some people milled about below, and based on the position of the sun, he had wandered for quite some time – enough for the great, fiery disc to move toward the horizon. To his right, he saw the expanse of the southernmost section, the market, and to his left, the massive expanse of the Sea, glittering, crashing upon the rocks that edged it.

For a long time, he stood at the railing that edged the roof. He rested his crossed arms atop it, staring out over the city. The sun beat down, the air hot and dry upon his skin, but for the moment, that sensation at least reminded him that he existed, was solid, was whole, that he could feel, that this world still existed for a little longer.

But only a little. Tomorrow, at midnight, the world would end, swallowed up by the chaos, drenched in darkness for eternity, and he would lord over it with Yeul.

And yet, there was still so _much_ he wanted to say, to everyone he had brought to harm.

But there just was not enough time left. Even if he spent the rest of his hours scurrying all over the world, he would not be able to apologize to all of them, or take the time to hear their stories. Even some of Yeul's incarnations had been hurt by his survival, but apologizing to them would only cause the ones who wished him to remain to interfere. And what of Lightning? And Serah?

He lowered his chin to rest on his forearm at last, watching the sun track slowly across the sky.

This world existed as a dichotomy that could not be resolved, reveling in the final hours while trembling in fear of it, sunk deep into the march of time and yet existing outside of it.

Not unlike his heart, that which he had never controlled, which now sought to destroy him.

The weight of guilt he bore weighed him down as though a millstone were tied to his neck, pinning him to the earth he had diseased so willingly. He had accepted his fate after raging against it, over and over trying to end his life out of desperation, resigning himself to it only when, again and again, he was pulled back to the land of the living by a girl who loved him so dearly that she could not bear to release him. He had stared into the void beyond the end of the world with dignity and felt nothing as he waited for the end to _come already_.

Now, for the first time, the creeping feeling of dread and fear crawled up his spine and dug claws into his mind. He looked upon his fate and recoiled from it.

To plunge into the darkness beyond, surrounded by the girls, but alone in his thoughts, made his skin crawl.

Trapped in his own mind, he would be _thinking_.

He loved every one of Yeul's incarnations, truly and dearly. It was no lie to say so. He knew every quirk of their unique personalities, knew how each looked, how each moved, how each smiled, or did not. But though he had once resigned himself to be their Guardian into eternity, resigned himself to the sad eyes of those who wished to see him freed, now the thought of facing his own mind made him anxious.

He turned his head to bury his face in the armor of his forearms, shutting his eyes tight, but the darkness that greeted him only allowed his thoughts to meander worse than before.

It had been a foolish idea to go with Lightning, and yet, how could he have foreseen this? They had warred with one another for so long. They had tried to kill each other. She had stood steadfast against him, gone to sleep in the crystal to stop him, while he had ripped the world away from her and destroyed it with no care as to how much it would hurt her and so many others. For him to feel _this_ was an abomination. A _betrayal_.

But he knew, beyond the end of the world, when his thoughts were all that he had and they swirled in his mind and stole his attention, his greatest guilt, his _shame_, would be wrapped around an image of a fierce, rose-haired warrior who did not, and could never, know about the nonsense his heart whispered to him, whose beauty and ferocity had thrilled and awed him, whose fierce blue eyes accused him and snared him and tangled his heart in intense feelings he had never before known throughout his long life.

It was _wrong_. Of _all_ the people he knew, she was the one he had hurt the most, and to feel anything but respect and camaraderie for her summoned his deepest shame.

And yet, he would bear that burden. He would take it as another punishment to suffer for his countless crimes.

His fingers closed tight around the railing.

"What, all alone? No Yeul, no Lightning, just moping by yourself?"

Caius lifted his head again and straightened, pulling his body into a neutral stance and facing away from the voice behind him. He could think of no reply worth speaking, and he could not trust his tongue not to lash out like a serpent at her. He merely wished to be _left alone_.

Lumina walked slowly, but the rhythm told him she did it with a bounce in her step, likely coupled with a cheeky smile. "My, my, Caius, this isn't like you. For you to just stand around, doing nothing... it's weird." Her steps came closer until she had moved beside him. Still he did not acknowledge her. "Shouldn't you be helping Lighting, or hanging out with Yeul, or something?"

That triggered a response. "Is there something you need, Lumina?"

The girl giggled softly. "Oh, no, nothing, just wondering how the Destroyer of the world is doing. It's so close to ending. The chaos you unleashed by murdering Etro is gonna swallow everything up, and – poof! Off you go into the darkness with Yeul and all the people stuck in the chaos!" She heaved a sigh. "Can't happen soon enough, if you ask me. But of course, you want to make sure everything's gonna be okay first. Lightning still has to make it to the end and help as many as she can, and Vanille still has to save the people who are trapped. Still so much to do, and not enough time to do it. A shame."

Still leaning on the rail, he picked a place across the city to fix his gaze on and locked it there, on the face of the clock tower near the cathedral, refusing to look at her. Sooner or later, she would get bored and leave.

"I bet you were hoping that helping her would make up for everything you did, right?"

_If I help her, not only can I help those I have wronged, but I may yet ease the burden for you_. That had been his hope all along, and yet, he had accomplished very little. Lightning's struggle had been the same, and in the end, Yeul had not found any peace in the attempts he had made to mend his mistakes.

He forced his gaze to remain on the distant point.

"Good job, by the way. I bet _you're_ proud." Lumina clapped softly. "You kept her alive when the chaos beasts came for her, protected her from Pulse, helped her save Vanille... oh, wait." She chuckled. "The chaos beasts already existed, but they wouldn't have come around if it hadn't been for _you_. Bhunivelze, too, probably would've taken longer to turn on her without you putting doubts in her head that made her question him. And Vanille? Well, _she_ probably would've been freed too, it just would have taken a little longer."

A chill settled into his spine, but he did not move.

"And let's talk about Pulse, turning those people into Cie'th and trying to steal days. Do you _really_ think Bhunivelze would have turned on her so soon if you hadn't been there, your chaos blocking his sight? Come _on_." Clothing rustled as she shifted her stance. "Bhunivelze doesn't know _how_ to feel about her, not really. He's something that has never felt human emotions before, and now, he is. Everything's all muddled up, and he just knows he just doesn't want to let Lightning go. Of course he won't kill her, unless she forces his hand. Of course he'd prefer if she ruled beside him. You messing everything up by taking Etro's place with Yeul, and hiding Lightning from him, only made his attitude worse. Did you know that?"

Caius still did not move.

Lumina sighed and scuffed her toe. "They're never gonna forgive you. Not for what you did. No matter how much you try to help, it's _never _going to happen. Not Noel, for forcing him into a future without Yeul, where he's had to live with the guilt and anger for five centuries. Not Sazh, who lost his son and spent all these years trapped by a facsimile of him. Not Fang, for turning her bandits into Cie'th and killing her second-in-command. And definitely not Lightning, for killing her world, her future, and her sister."

Every part of his body became painfully tense. Every joint locked in place. Every reminder Lumina handed him felt like a punch in the gut. He had indeed done all those things, and yet his heart _still_ dared tie itself in knots and yearn for a woman he _knew_ he could never have.

"Oh, and what else? Don't tell me you've been trying to get sweet with her or something." She spoke as though narrating his thoughts, and laughed at him. "Trying to be her friend will never work out, and trying to be anything else won't, either. You really think someone like _you_ could even have hope?"

He very nearly had to bite his tongue, in a very literal sense, to keep from responding to her, but he could feel a fire beginning to churn beneath his skin.

"You're a failure at this, just like you were with Yeul. You might have stopped her from seeing the future and dying, but now she's just trapped in that temple, and soon, at the end of the world. No one's gonna be able to save her from _that_. That one Yeul will never see Noel again, won't be able to have a future... so sad." Lumina sighed again and took a few steps behind him, while inside, he used all his discipline to stay silent. "Okay, so you helped her a little, maybe. Here and there. Sort of. But, uh, soon, Lightning's gonna go, you'll be apart, you'll never see her again, you know the deal. Well, I guess it's better that way, that you _don't_ see her again... right?"

Somehow, he remained silent.

And then, she giggled, but there was a cruel edge to it, sharp as a razor, that slashed at him, cutting him down to the core of his soul. "You're not even worthy of touching the ground Lightning walks on. You know that. You thought you were so smart, killing Etro like that, and you managed to make a mess of everything. Guess you didn't think it through much, huh? You failed at all of it. Why don't you just slink back to the temple and wait for the end of the world? Nobody wants you here. Why don't you just go back and cower in the dark? It's what you're best at."

Something inside him snapped.

In one swift pivot and a single step, he faced her, reaching out to block her before she could get away. When he stepped toward her again, she did not run, but froze and brought her hands to her chest. It reminded him of Yeul whenever he scolded her, but for the moment, he refused to care. This was not an ordinary girl. She was something else, in the _guise_ of a girl, who toyed with him and so many others, and _laughed _about it every time. Everything she did was a game to her, and he had run out of patience.

He came closer, until they were perhaps a couple of feet apart, and towered over her.

"Enough!" he shouted, the word coming out with such force that she visibly flinched. "Whatever you are, Lumina, you cannot tell me anything I do not already know! You do not need to remind me! I am here for _her_, to protect her, even if the dangers she faces are ones I unleashed! I am not asking for forgiveness! I cannot _have_ it, and nothing I do will ever change what I did! _I know this_!"

Throughout it all, the girl simply stared at him, wide-eyed, mouth hanging open, though she looked less frightened and more... anxious.

As he studied her, waiting to see her reaction, letting his words sink in, he looked her right in the eye, making sure she could not pull away, or hide, or ignore. His gaze eventually drifted slightly, looking over her face. It was too smooth and very near to symmetrical – an unnatural look, scrounged from the chaos, no doubt – and framed by hair as vivid pink as Lightning's or her sister's. The girl's eyes were large and very blue, and they stared back into his without wandering away, even for a moment.

Their distinct hue and shape was what caused him to falter.

Each pair of eyes, even within the same color family, was different. No two pairs had the exact same characteristics, whether it be flecks of other colors around the pupil, or how it looked in the light, or the shade of the skin around them, the fold of the eyelid, even the angle of the eye itself.

But he had seen these eyes before. They had stared defiantly at him, accused him, and, as of late, looked to him for help, trusted him, gave him gratitude he did not deserve.

He felt his severe look slip off his features, not fully believing what he saw, but unable to deny it.

And he said, quietly, "Lightning?"

The girl never looked away, even when he stepped back. When he stepped back himself, bringing her out of his shadow, still staring, she lowered her hands and lifted her chin. No, she was no young girl, not really – he could see that, right then, in the way she moved. It was graceful, strong, like an adult used to fighting, yet trapped in the body of a small child, restrained by her very size.

"You're half right," she told him, smirking, quiet, and vanished.

Caius stared at the spot she had vacated for some time. His mind battled back a wave of thoughts, but they won out, and he drifted back to what the girl had been telling him. All she had done was echo his secret thoughts, things he did not want anyone else to know. How _she_ had found out, he could not know, and it did not matter. She had told him the truth. Everything she had said, he _did_ already know.

And somehow, she had known about Lightning, the deepest of his secrets, the most precious of them all.

And the most foolish.

Caius felt his rage, his grief, his fear, break out of him as a solar flare erupted from the sun, and when the burst subsided and he could see clearly again, one of the balcony's pillars had been shattered, its pieces scattered across the floor. Another stab of grief and rage threatened to break him open for good, but he strangled it, swallowed, and moved back to the railing to lean out over the city. He would return to Lightning when he was ready, and he would excuse himself from her service. And he would not allow her to stop him.

His throat constricted; he gripped the rail hard enough to crack it before realizing what he had done. Battling back the prickle of heat behind his eyes, he stared at the city, then bowed his head to rest on his forearms again.

He would never be ready.

* * *

Lightning smiled down at the boy who had asked her, so politely, for a selection of fruit, one of her duties this afternoon for being the Liberator. "Here," she said, handing him the last piece and watching him tuck it in his bag. His family was too poor to buy the more luxurious fruits, but his parents loved this variety, so she indulged him with a not-insignificant amount of gil. To see him grin up at her made it all worthwhile.

"Thanks!" Like so many other children, he had the voice of a youngster, but the way he carried himself and how he chose his words spoke to just how long he had been alive. "My parents will love this. I don't think I can thank you enough, really. They will just... _love_ this."

"I got it," she said, waving a hand. "Now, go on, before it gets too hot."

He hefted the bag a bit. "This fruit is best served chilled on ice. That will help when it gets to the hottest part of the day." Returning her wave, he turned away and trotted off into the crowds. Lightning watched him go until he vanished among the people wandering around the market.

Eventually, her smile disappeared, fading to a neutral expression. She tried not to think about Caius, but they had not parted on well enough terms for her not to be worried.

She had spent the past forty or so minutes wandering around, trying to fulfill any requests she could. Very few large ones remained. They mostly consisted of minor things like she had done for the boy, and they had filled up her time well enough, keeping her mind away from Caius, but it kept wandering back to him whenever she had a moment, and she couldn't understand why that was.

Except that every time she tried to look at the sky, or shut her eyes, all that gazed back were _his_ eyes and the insurmountable feeling that crushed her like a massive stone.

She kicked a pebble at her feet as she moved out of the market, more to distract herself than anything, and descended the stairs to the main street again. Despite having gone for some time now without food, she felt no real desire to eat, though she needed to. Satiating her hunger meant getting a kebob from a stand, made of grilled meats and seasoned vegetables – delicious, but she barely tasted it as it went down.

When she tossed the skewer away, she just stood beside the trash bin and stared down into it, hand resting on the edge. Not really seeing it. Not acknowledging it.

Then she slapped a hand against the stone wall and walked off again.

Caius had been her enemy for so long, and only within the final days had he become her companion. Why did the thought of him consume her? Why did his eyes gaze back at her whenever she tried to banish them? Why did she feel bare without him at her side?

Again, she kicked a pebble, but could not focus.

Continuing her wandering, she found herself by the fountain and stopped to watch the revelers. Olga was up on the stage, practicing, while Berdie sat at the piano and played a gentle tune in a loop. Others stood around and watched, or simply wandered around in seeming circles until it drove her mad, so she turned away, trying to refocus her mind, but found herself wandering aimlessly once more.

_This is so stupid_, she told herself, wishing she could simply yank the thoughts out of her mind like bits of lint.

But he did matter to her. And she couldn't explain it.

"Hey, sis, how's it goin'?"

Lightning felt her fingertips prickle at the voice. She stood near the gates to the palace now, which were still closed, and refused to turn around. "What do you want _now_, Lumina? I'm busy."

"Busy wandering and wandering." The girl giggled. "Looking for Caius, right? I know where he went off to."

Now she faced the girl, fingertips prickling.

"Oh, what?" Lumina smirked at her, hands clasped behind her back. "_Now_ you're interested?"

Lightning demanded, "What did you do to him?"

"What, me?" She shook her head, then went back to smirking, but her expression didn't seem quite as mischievous as it usually was. "Oh, not much, just reminded him of a few things. Caius got it in his head that he's helping–"

"He _is_ helping!" the warrior snapped at her.

The girl's eyes widened, and she twirled her hair around one finger. "Easy, sis, no need to so fiercely defend the man who did all those awful things. Yeah, I know, they're over and done, but come _on_. Caius ran off, all by himself, to mope and guilt about things he can't help." She grinned broadly. "Maybe you should go and ask him, all nice, to just... you know, go back to the temple?"

"Where is he, Lumina?" Lightning felt her knuckles beginning to hurt as she spoke.

The girl looked at her for a long moment, then shrugged. "He's in Luxerion, standing on a roof, all by himself. Don't know how long he'll be here, don't much care." She began to walk in a small circle, swinging her arms slowly with each step. "Poor Caius, having to bear the weight of the world and his failures, thinking of Yeul and how she can't ever be free, thinking about how he hurt _you_ so badly... ah." Then she stopped, faced Lightning, and beamed. "I just can't _wait_ to see how this plays out."

Only then did Lightning realize she had been clenching her fists and hastily shook her fingers loose. Without another word, she brushed past and quickly made her way back to the train station. Picking up a ticket, she waited for the next train. To her disgust and chagrin, Lumina waited with her, standing a short distance away and making as though she wasn't paying attention, except for her sidelong look.

"So, uh, you're gonna go after him? Again?" The girl sighed and tipped her head. "I think this just proves he doesn't wanna be around you, sis..."

She couldn't take it anymore. "I am _not_ your sister," she growled. "You only _look_ like Serah."

"Whatever." Lumina grinned again and clasped her hands behind her back, walking off. "Don't worry, you'll come around to my side soon enough. See things from _my_ perspective. When things inevitably get ugly with him – they always do, Lightning, don't deny it..." She stopped and looked over her shoulder. "...well, then you'll wish you'd heeded my warning and just let him go. But it's okay. You'll learn."

"_You_ suggested I bring him along, remember?" Lightning muttered to the girl.

Lumina shrugged. "That was then."

Lightning stared at her, and she walked off.

It felt like an eternity before she finally got off at the Luxerion North Station. In late afternoon, the sun had begun to cast long shadows, darkening the alleys and walkways, plunging them into shadows. Aware of how long it had been since she had last seen him, she strode out into the first open area, near the clock, and shielded her eyes from the falling sun as she looked around. She scanned the rooftops, but either he was nowhere nearby, or she couldn't make him out against the colorful skies.

She closed her eyes and tried to feel for the familiar fringes of his chaos.

But she felt nothing. Not even a thread. Perhaps it was because her own heart was missing, or perhaps he was too far away, but there was _nothing_ to give her a hint as to where he had gone off to.

Lightning clenched her fingers again.

"I'll show you where he is," came Lumina's voice.

The warrior looked over at the girl, feeling more confused than ever. It was less the girl's words, less her tone, than the look in her eyes that evaded being named. She opened her mouth, but whatever she had planned to say died on her lips, and she could only watch as the girl turned and waved her along, half-skipping out of the plaza. Lightning followed, carefully avoiding the frightened gazes of the clergy as they gave her a wide berth. She had forgotten how she and Caius had openly defied the clergy the last time they had been here.

_They _hadn't forgotten. She needed to watch her back.

Sticking as close to the shadows and out of sight of the guards as she could, she hurried after Lumina, passing posters with her face on them that demanded death, capture, or bounties of varying amounts. Some were crude, some made with the elegant craftsmanship of the Order.

All of them looked accurate enough for her to be pinpointed.

She gritted her teeth, then picked up the pace, seeing Lumina appear and reappear seemingly at random, hoping she wasn't being led into a trap. Should it come to that, she knew she could fight her way out of it, but she didn't want to deal with the annoyance of having to listen to the Order spew their nonsense _again_.

Then she rounded a corner and skidded to a stop. Lumina stood a short distance away, using one hand to open a door beside her and hold it open, the other resting on her hip. Beyond the door lay thick shadows, but she made out the outline of a staircase. They had ended up in the old part of the city, in the south, near the bridge that led across the water to the north section. The building looked abandoned, all the windows dark, some of them cracked or pitted, and no sign that anyone had ventured near it in years.

"He's on one of the upper levels," the girl told her. "Well, go on. Work your magic and make the man think he's actually worth something. Or, don't." She raised both eyebrows.

Lightning hesitated for a long moment, studying the girl, before turning her gaze to the stairwell. Reluctance kept her rooted to the spot as her skin crawled. If this was a trap, it was a tight space. If it was not, then she _would_ find Caius up there and have to confront him on whatever bound up his mind.

Part of her did not want to know what it was.

Her feet heavy, she stepped over the threshold, hearing Lumina disappear behind her. The fading light framed her, and her shadow reached deep into the stairwell, blending with the darkness that filled every nook in the ascent. When she placed her foot, the stairs creaked, but held. She took another step, and another, and another, and made her way up the softly-creaking staircase. The landing at the top turned out to be a long, broad hallway – the building seemed to be an old apartment complex.

She took a moment to look around, but peering through holes in walls and pushing open doors, she saw no sign of him, so she continued her ascent.

Two more floors up, she found herself beside a door that led out to an open-air lounge area – essentially a balcony, for all intents and purposes, but with the remaining overhead floors supported on scattered pillars. Evidence of worn furniture could be seen scattered about, and as her eyes adjusted to the lighting conditions, she spotted a pillar that had been destroyed by what appeared to be a single strike, its pieces lying in the dust on the floor. Past that, she saw a dark shape at the railing, silhouetted against the blue-gold sky.

Her fingers flexed at her sides. Though he stood without the strength she was used to and had his head down, on his crossed arms, it seemed, there was certainly no mistaking his profile.

Taking a breath, she walked slowly toward him.

The distance between them seemed vast – a few hundred feet – but likely was not. Her perception seemed warped, confused, her feet still heavy. As she drew closer, the force of his chaos on her heart-void began to grow, and soon she felt its familiar pressure, but as she continued to come closer, it grew heavier, until she felt her chest constrict and had to stop to take a deep breath.

It was then he chose to raise his head and say, "You have no need to come here."

Lightning breathed deep a few more times, swallowed, and said, "Well, you have no reason to be here, at least not for so long. I just wanted to know what was going on."

He straightened, but still held the railing in both hands, which stood far apart. Every line of his body was hard and strong, inky black against the sky. Unnerved, she stopped, studying him. Her eyes roved over his form – it felt as though she gazed into the past, at him standing waist-deep in the Sea of Chaos, after letting one of the Yeuls drift off into the darkness. Her instincts prickled – would he turn on her?

It took a long time before he spoke again. In contrast to the tension in his body, his voice was clear. "I ask of you a favor, to release me from my duties here."

She blinked. "Wh..." she said, then swallowed and tried again. "You want... you–"

"If you will not release me," he interrupted, "then I will simply leave."

"Wait," she said, "_why_?"

Another long pause, then, "I cannot explain."

Not liking the weight behind his words, she took another step forward. The pressure of his chaos almost hurt, but she refused to let it stop her. "It was Lumina, wasn't it?" she said in a quiet voice. "She told me you were here. Kind of figured she was, giving you a hard time. Whatever she said, don't worry about it. You know how she is."

The pause felt thick. "Not this time, Lightning."

She sighed, but forced herself to have at least a semblance of patience. It was the only way she would be able to chip away the shell before he got skittish. Caius was hardly a delicate man, but to say his emotions were as strong as his body would be a drastic overstatement. She had witnessed that many times firsthand.

"Before you go," she said, "tell me what happened."

"No."

That response threw her off. "_No_?" she blurted.

Instead of responding, he just stood there, still facing away from her. Lightning stared at him, waiting for him to do something, but he continued to be as unmoving as granite.

"Look," she muttered, "even if you run back to the temple, I don't care if I have to go back in there and _demand_ answers from you. I'm tired of these stupid games you've been playing with me. You are _hiding_ something, and I want to know what it is. I want to know what she did to you."

She saw his grip tighten. "Lightning, this is not a matter you should push further. Leave it be and let me go."

"I don't think so." She folded her arms. "Not until–"

"Lightning, let me go."

The note of desperation caused her to falter. "This isn't like you," she said. "What's going on?"

"Lightning..."

"_Tell me what's going on_."

She didn't expect him to suddenly face her, one hand leaving the railing while the other stayed on it. Because of the angle of the sun and the way the shadows fell, she couldn't quite make out the details of his features when he looked right at her, but there was just enough ambient light to outline his fierce scowl. Instinctively, she took a step back, but regretted it when his brow furrowed deeper.

"Wait–"

"You and all those like you know I cannot remain. It serves no purpose." He looked her right in the eye as he spoke, and she didn't like the emotions within them. At the same time, she sensed him pull the fringes of ambient chaos in his heart back under the shell, leaving her only echoes. "Regardless of what I do, or what I try, it will never be enough. If I spent a thousand years toiling, _it will never be enough_."

She didn't understand. "Wait... Caius, what are you getting– are you talking about–"

"I should never have accompanied you." He spoke as though she weren't even there. "I should have remained inside that temple and faced my fate. Going with you only–" Abruptly, he cut himself off, and his eyes left hers to fall to the ground instead.

The silence felt heavy, and she didn't like it. She let it sit for a few moments. "Whatever it is that's bothering you," she said, "let it go. It's over. It's done."

"The past is past, yes," he admitted, "but it continues to leave scars on the future."

"Is this..." She hesitated. "...about what you did?"

The derisive snort he responded with told her everything she needed to know.

Understanding bled into her mind. Her thoughts drifted back, to every look of guilt and pain he had shown, every time he had closed himself off, every time he had looked at her with unreadable emotion. How long had all of this been building up inside him? How long had he kept his heart in check, warred with it, only for Lumina to come and gouge it full of holes, no doubt laughing the whole while?

"Listen to me," she said, "it's over, Caius. It's done. Yes, you did all those things. You destroyed the world. You killed my sister, and Etro. You broke Noel's mind–" She stopped at his wince, realizing she only echoed thoughts he already carried. "But it doesn't matter, you see? Everything's going to be wiped away. We're going to get a whole new world to rebuild our future in. Serah's going to come back. We'll all be together."

He did not respond, eyes still on the ground.

"You've been... very helpful," she admitted quietly. Her fingers laced together in front of her hips while her eyes stayed on his face. "I see what you've been doing, okay? And yeah, I didn't help. I was heartless, I know. Some of the things I said just weren't justified. It was sometimes just... _me_. Don't blame yourself."

Now he looked at her.

Lightning knew, in that moment, that if she still had her heart, she might – _might_ – have been driven to tears just from the raw emotion she saw in those dark depths. There was _still_ something he hid from her, something besides the guilt and the anger about what happened to the world, and it weighed on his soul so heavily, hurt him so deeply, that she doubted even she could help absolve him of it. Barely holding his gaze, she stayed fiddling with her hands, but kept her spine straight and shoulders back.

"Don't blame yourself anymore, okay? I need you to help me finish this out. If your guilt complex ruins this, then yeah, you leaving the temple was all for nothing. Pull it together and _be_ _strong_."

Looking as though he wished to speak, he kept gazing at her.

She waited, refusing to look away.

And then, "I have lived hundreds of lifetimes, Lightning. I have seen countless live extinguished, many of them by my own hands. I have seen the turn of seasons countless times, the rise and fall of entire civilizations. Throughout most of my life, I have been known as untouchable, unknowable, a solitudinarian who stood at the side of the seeress for all eternity. My people did not know me. No one knew me."

She opened and closed her mouth.

"In those centuries, _you_ are the one who has been closest, aside from my charge. I have existed with that knowledge in these final days, and I will join the shadows knowing that I have destroyed everything you ever held dear in _this_ world. You may be born anew, but your new world cannot erase the fate of the old."

A secret meaning threaded itself through his words. She felt it. But though she tried to parse his speech, tried to understand the secret, it would not reveal itself.

Whatever it was, she knew, instinctively, _that_ was what he hid from her.

"Thus, I implore you once more." Facing her fully, hands at his sides, he said, "Allow me to leave."

She said, quietly, "Why? So you can mope in the temple instead?"

"No. So that you may be free of me."

The words felt like a dagger in the void of her heart. The sheer amount of feeling behind them was something not even she, heartless though she was, could ignore. To stay silent _now_, in the face of those words, would be cold and cruel, and just couldn't find it in herself to do that.

"I was like you once," she murmured. "I thought I couldn't do anything right. I didn't want anyone to be close to me. During Cocoon's final days, I stopped thinking and started fighting. I ran away, the same thing you're trying to do _right now_. But _you_ don't get to run away."

He leveled her with a steady stare, but she saw anxiety now.

"You did awful things. That's true. If I said you were justified in any of it, I'd be lying." Finally lowering her hands, she took a long, deep breath, filling her lungs, and let it out through her nose. She closed her eyes for a few moments, then opened them to his again. "You committed atrocities, and you've had to live with them. You can't die, and you can't be free. You're gonna plunge into the chaos and live eternity as a prisoner of the mistakes you made. You've had to follow me around and be exposed to the consequences of your actions. You dug your own grave, paved your own road to destruction, and you know it."

As he continued to stare at her, he dipped his chin – agreeing with her, she knew.

"But don't you think that's punishment enough?"

His entire body froze.

"I can't keep holding a grudge, you know," she said. "It's not productive. I need it off my chest. I wanna be free of the darkness your actions left in me, and you need to be released from that guilt. If it doesn't hurt me anymore, then what reason do you have to run away? So–"

"Lightning, no," he said in a very stern tone, and shook his head. "You cannot."

"Oh, but I can." In that moment, she caught her pride as it ran around in her skull and crushed it under her heel, cast aside the memories of countless battles in Valhalla, swallowed the hurt of the past, and summoned all the courage and humility she still had. "We can't keep doing this. I forgive you. For all of it."

Caius looked as though she had just ripped out his heart and crushed it before his eyes. He recoiled from her, backing up until he hit the railing, and kept staring at her, until finally, his eyes fell to the ground. In the silence, his breathing seemed loud – unusually so, from the way his chest so visibly moved.

"I refuse to accept it," he said, but his voice trembled.

"That isn't my problem," she told him firmly. "What matters is that you're absolved of your guilt toward me. You don't have an excuse anymore, got it? You no longer get to stand here and think about all the bad stuff you did, and I don't get to keep dredging it up. It's over, it's done, and now we can move on."

"You should not forgive me. You _cannot_."

"Yeah?" Feeling a smirk tug at her lips, she took a few steps closer. "Think I just did."

"Foolish, then." Eyes suddenly coming back to hers, he closed the gap between them until he stood over her, his height emphasized as being so much more than hers. She didn't flinch, didn't move, only stared up at him, mouth set in a firm line, the proximity making her anxious, but not fearful.

"You won't do anything to me," she said, and meant it. "You can't hurt me any more than you can Yeul. _If_ you were gonna hurt me, you'd have done it by now."

Even though his expression seemed set in stone, she saw his resolve slip at her words. As though conceding, he took a step back, eyes still on hers, but his body lost all its ferocity, leaving him standing there with sloped shoulders and the wind stirring his hair, casting faint shadows as the sun angle changed.

Her hand landed on his shoulder. "The next step is forgiving _yourself_. That's way harder than accepting someone else's forgiveness, trust me."

Though his eyes were still thick with emotion, some of the pain, the darkness, seemed to have slipped away. It seemed that, though she could not free him of all his darkness like she could the others, she could untangle a few knots and leave him free of that pain. "As you wish."

Tilting her head, she let her hand slip off his shoulder. "There's still something you're hiding from me. This is only part of it. Will you please tell me the rest?"

For a long time, he simply gazed at her, and his eyes seemed to soften. Again came the prickle of feeling, the distant understanding of what she saw in those enthralling depths, but it seemed she needed her heart to fully grasp what it was that she saw. If that was it, then it had to be something deep, human, genuine – aspects of herself she was missing, parts of her that had been torn away.

"There are some things I must yet keep to myself," he said, voice so quiet she barely heard him.

At her side, her hand twitched. "I really wish you wouldn't."

"And I wish you had not found it within you to forgive me my transgressions." Without ever looking away, he tilted his head, lips forming a small, sad smile. "But we cannot always have what we want, can we? There are many possible futures, but we may only ever witness one."

She let those words hang between them for a while before saying, "So, you gonna leave me?"

"I... will only if you request it of me."

"But do you want to?"

A pause. "No."

Lightning felt the fringes of his chaos seeping out from his heart again, and when they washed over her, she felt the prickle all the way to her fingertips. "But you were just asking me to let you go."

Pain twisted his features, and he turned away.

"You gonna explain that one?"

His shoulders moved as he breathed in deep. "No."

"But..." Realizing it was pointless, she shook her head. Caius would always be an enigma to her, and she didn't have enough time to get to know him well enough for him not to be. "Alright, fine. I'm not gonna question it any further."

"And I reaffirm that I am your sword until you need me no more."

Remembering his Guardian pledge, she nodded, though he still was not looking at her. "Thanks. I think... look, there's a good chance I'm gonna need you at the end of the world. Whatever happens, I need your power. I need to have you with me, okay? When it's all over, _then_ you can be with Yeul."

For a few moments, there was silence. Slowly, he turned his body until he could look at her, not fully facing her, and dipped his chin, briefly closing his eyes. "As you wish." His eyes opened again and found hers. "I still do not like that you are able to forgive me. I do not believe myself worthy of it, and I do not deserve it. And yet, you are your own person, with your own mind and heart. What you choose is yours alone."

One hand went up to her hair, then the back of her head, where she rubbed the joining of her skull and spine. "I, uh... thanks. Even if you don't like it, you can accept it. I like that."

"It would be pointless for me to argue with you over it regardless," he told her. "You are a stubborn woman."

Her lips became a half-smile. "You're one to talk."

He looked away. "Perhaps."

Not sure what else to do, she simply stood there, looking past him at the city. The people below likely had no idea what was going to happen, and though she had helped some clear their hearts of the darkness, there was little else she could do now in a city where there was a price on her head. If she ended up killing those who attacked her, what message would that send? Only that she was a "false shepherd", as they had said, and it would draw them closer to their false god, not pull them away.

Perhaps there would yet be a chance to free them, but it was not now.

"We need to get out of this city," she said. "Let's go back to Yusnaan and see how the others are doing. Gotta keep our heads down, though – there's a price out for mine." When he looked at her again, she sighed. "It's not me I'm worried about, though. It's hurting _them_ by defending myself."

"For the time that is left in this world, I will do what I can to ensure you succeed," he told her firmly. "Only when the world ends and you leave will we be separated."

"Well..." She raised an eyebrow. "That's... good of you to say. It kind of sounds like me."

"Ah, you mean when you stood in the temple and I told you to leave?"

"That, too, I guess. I nearly forgot."

He let go of the railing and folded his arms. "You will know rest soon, in the new world. At least for a time, there will be no war, no grief. It is the world I had once wished to bring into being, but for Yeul. I am..." He hesitated, breathing deep, and she waited patiently. "It is good to know you and the others will know that peace. If that is what must come of the evil I have committed, so be it."

Something in his voice prompted her next question. "You don't wish you could go?"

He didn't respond to that.

The breeze felt warm and dry on her skin, blowing her hair back as she moved to stand at the railing. From here, she overlooked much of Luxerion, and despite its shadows and stoicism, she thought it oddly beautiful. It lacked color, or life, but even the hard angles and straight lines were strangely pretty.

"Kind of reminds me of Valhalla," she said under her breath. "I stood up at the railing, looking over a dead city, and the only difference is, you're up here instead of down there." Armor creaked as he moved to stand beside her, and she glanced sidelong at him. "Here, at my side, instead of at my front, trying to kill me."

There was a long pause. "And is that preferable?"

"Why wouldn't it be?"

"Does it not feel as though it is somehow... wrong?"

"What, for us to be on the same side, fighting together, instead of each other? Not really. I mean, yeah, it's a little strange, sure, but our alliance was always uneasy. I don't get the feeling it is _now_, though." She ran her hand along the railing, studying the cracks and weathering in it for a few moments. "I'm glad you're here. Even if I could have done a lot of this alone, I do... I mean, I'm glad to..." She stalled, not wanting to speak the words that nearly tumbled off her lips, not wanting to tell him she was _glad_ to have someone at her side, glad to forget about the creeping loneliness that always seemed to follow her around.

But he did not press her further, did not speak, hardly moved, only stood at the railing with both hands resting atop it, and she watched the breeze stir his hair again. Various violet hues shifted and shimmered, tinged sunset colors in the dying light. To see him this close, able to pick out every detail – a smattering of faint freckles across his skin, the way his hair lightened toward the tips to a lilac shade, small imperfections along his jaw, nicks and scratches across the ancient expanse of his armor – was strange, unnerving, and...

Lightning swallowed, not liking the path her mind had decided to start meandering down.

"Uh, look, we..." She rubbed her fingertips together, swallowed, stepped back, released the railing, and ran a hand through her hair. _Too close_. "We... should be... going."

He also moved away, looked at her, and, with complete sincerity and no concern, simply said, "Lead."

* * *

_This chapter has been a long time coming. I've hinted at these events, hopefully not so much that everyone guessed it ahead of time, but also hopefully enough that it didn't seem to come out of nowhere. Lightning's been slowly softening up toward him for a while now, so while she's a little grudging about forgiving him, she does mean it. Caius's reaction comes from so much, including things that have only now been more blatantly stated. He couldn't believe it, and her forgiveness is going to be tough for him to bear. Remember Taleb, and Cardesia's cure for him? Yeah. The parallels were too strong to ignore._

_Now we're getting into the final hours. After tonight, there's just one more day, then the world ends. I have a few more big plans, but I'm positively thrilled that I made it this far. It's been over two years since I published this story, and I'm getting so close to the end. The day I type the words "the end" are going to feel surreal, I can already tell. Thanks to everyone who's followed me this far (wouldn't have made it nearly so far without so many words of kindness and criticism alike)! Let me know what you think in a review (or come drop me an ask on Tumblr), and I hope you enjoyed this!_

_Also, chapter title holds quite a bit of meaning, and I hope that was echoed sufficiently in the chapter itself._


	43. The Last Sunset

_**42 The Last Sunset**_

On the way back to Yusnaan, Caius felt different.

He and Lightning stuck to the shadows as best as they could, avoiding guards, distracting them when they could not, and made it to the train without incident. She did not speak the entire time except to give directions, the rest of the time using hand signals hailing from her military background to direct him. Only when they stepped onto the train and it rolled away did she finally breathe out in obvious relief.

Caius, though, felt no real relief.

He had been released of the burden of guilt toward Lightning. Whether he wanted to accept it or not, the reality was that she had forgiven him, and in turn, that sullied part of his heart had been sanctified. It felt _good_. To know she was not angry and carried no ill will because of his past failures lifted a great weight from his soul. Forgiving himself would take time – that much he could already tell – but it would be easier, now.

But he still withheld a very deep secret from her. He wanted to tell her, so much so that it cut into his soul and made him want to rage, but he kept quiet.

He felt fear, creeping through his blood, at the thought of the world's end. And he, perhaps the single most powerful man to ever exist on the planet, did not feel fear as others tended to. Beyond himself and his own anxiety at having to go into the dark beyond with _her_ eyes haunting him for the rest of eternity, he wondered what could await them in the world's final hours. Bhunivelze had expressed his displeasure in horrifying ways, whether it was throwing his Liberator into the Sea of Chaos or sending Pulse to decimate a continent. If Lightning made it to the end – and he would _make sure_ she did – the possibilities waiting there were unthinkable.

And he had heard the prophecies regarding the world's end. The heavens going dark. Chaos rippling out through reality to engulf all things. A final battle between two incredibly powerful forces. A clash of armies so great it would blacken the earth. Yeul had spoken dozens of prophecies, from the slumbering crystal of Bhunivelze awakening to Etro weeping over the world's fate, and her own.

He had not known then that _he_ would become part of the prophecies. What the fal'Cie had failed to do, he had accomplished with mere centuries of patience.

Driven, of course, by grief, and love. Things _they_ did not understand.

Lightning coughing into the crook of her elbow, then rubbing at the joint while making a sound of displeasure, was what drew him back to the present. He had been standing still and staring out at the passing scenery, but was only too glad to pry his eyes and his mind away from the glittering Sea.

When he looked at her, she looked at him. "I told you Lightning isn't my real name, right?"

He honestly couldn't remember. "Perhaps."

She made a face. "Yeah, I can't really remember, either. Too much has happened. At least my brain's stopped buzzing." Sighing, she rubbed her wrist across her forehead. They were the only passengers in this car; the other occupants resided in the other cars, behind closed doors. "Well, it's not."

Having grown up in a land where names often took on elements of their surroundings – the flora, the earth, the weather, even the animals – he had never thought to question hers. "How did you get it?"

"I picked it for myself because I wanted to be strong for Serah."

A self-chosen moniker. "That does not surprise me."

"That predictable, huh?" Snorting softly, she shook her head. The fading light shimmered on her hair – it was rough, a little tangled, evidently unmanaged for a good length of time, but it still shone with rose-gold hues, and when she looked at him next, it was through a sweep of golden-tinged bangs. "I remember telling you our parents died when I was fifteen and Serah was twelve. That was when I decided I had to be stronger, so I picked my new name and got tough. It got me all the way here, at least."

The way the light fell illuminated her eyes from the side, scattering sunset colors across the clear blue, and the sight of it clenched his heart. "You _are_ very strong," he said, and meant it. "Among the strongest I have met, or had the pleasure of knowing. Though..." Hesitating, he felt his brown furrow; she tucked her hair behind her ear. "I do not know you as well as I wish I did."

"There isn't enough time," she said. She sighed. "I kind of wish we could discuss Valhalla."

"Is there something _to_ discuss?"

"Well..." Frowning, she chewed her lip. "I... guess? I really just want to know if, you know, if you..." A hand came to her shoulder; she rubbed the joint with her fingertips. "Did you intend to kill me?"

Honesty was best. "Not at first."

"Ah." One rose-colored eyebrow went up. "Later, you did?"

"I wished you out of the way, but you became so..." He tilted his head. "...troublesome."

Her lips twitched, then formed a small smile that softened her entire expression – which, despite his appreciation of it, only drove the knife deeper. "That so, huh? Guess I did my job." The smile faded. "Makes me wonder, what if I _could_ have stopped you? What would have happened _then_?"

"Recall what I said about the future."

"Right, yeah." She sighed. "You know, _not_ knowing how the future will unfold is going to be... kind of nice."

"It will be a refreshing change of pace for us all."

Lightning seemed to study him. "Yeah."

Caius was silent for a long time. More than anything, he just wanted to be near her, to get to know her, but knew it would be difficult enough just to get her to open up to him at all. She _was_ doing it, slowly. He appreciated that, and yet he knew there would not be enough time before they would part ways. _That_ was the part that kept him wary and forced him to keep his distance. He wouldn't mind finding a friend in her, but there wasn't time.

For a few minutes, she was quiet, looking out the window at the Sea.

"What _is_ your real name, then?" he said.

Lightning looked at him. Her brow furrowed. "I, uh, it's... it's hard to explain, but I don't, uh... _like_ just telling people what it is, you know? It's a remnant of what I used to be, when I had to hold Serah because she was crying about our mother dying." For an instant, her eyes shifted away – a flinch, perhaps. "And, uh... there was a lot that happened then. I don't really like recalling it."

"So you seal away your true name in order to hide away from your past?"

She looked startled. "I... well..."

"Your past is your own, Lightning, no matter how unpleasant. Running away does nothing." He rubbed a hand over his face. "I have had to own up to everything I did. There is still more, deep within my past, I am coming to terms with. You should not hide it. You should accept it."

"That's not..." She shook her head. "...what this is about, Caius. Don't pretend you know me."

"I am not pretending. I am observing."

"You're right, my past is past, but I don't have to like it," she muttered, expression turning dour. "I don't need my past, I don't need my heart, and I don't need to be anything but 'Lightning'. She is who I am now. Bringing the other woman back isn't something I'm keen on doing. Drop it."

He looked away from her, but could not bear to return his gaze to the Sea and instead turned his focus inward. At least there, within his own heart, no one could touch him.

Not even Yeul had delved that deeply into his shell. He had successfully kept it hidden from her.

The last part of himself that was his own.

Now he turned his back to her, hiding his expression. Alone with his thoughts and _himself_, in the chaos, surrounded by both adoring girls and those who sent out wails of despair at him being forced to remain, watching the endless flow of time in the new world, bearing witness to the echoes of memory within the chaos...

If he did not go mad, it would be a miracle.

They rode the rest of the way in silence, arriving as the sun sank into the horizon and the sky turned a range of vibrant hues. From the looks of things, Yusnaan was preparing for yet another night of revelry, and they were greeted by smiling, scantily-clad women adorned with colorful feathers.

"This, as I understand, is the last sunset this world will see."

Lightning dismissed a nearby chocobo girl with a wave of the hand and frowned at him. "But... tomorrow..."

"Do you think the chaos will not seep out before then?"

Her frown deepened. "So, you're saying it could begin consuming the world long before the end actually happens?"

"I expect to witness many odd wonders as the chaos descends."

Lightning raised an eyebrow. "You know, I almost hate to say it, but... I'm kind of curious what we'll see."

Of course she was. "As am I."

"Let's go back to the palace," she said. "I want to talk to Snow some more about what's going on. And..." She glanced back at the sky. "...maybe get a good look at _that_ before it goes away. Come on."

They made their way through the crowds, ignoring the chocobo girls calling out to them and people hawking their wares. As they began to pass the fountain, he looked over at the water to see it spraying into the air and an array of colors dancing upon it – a spectacular display, no doubt intended to be a colorful backdrop to Olga, who was in the midst of practicing over by the piano.

He slowed to watch the water, but didn't realize he had stopped until his companion snagged his wrist and pulled him along a few steps, reminding him he needed to keep going.

"Hey, you two!"

Caius stopped and glanced in the direction of the voice. Lightning also stopped, though a little further along, and she turned to face the owner. "Fang?" she said, raising both eyebrows. It was indeed her, still dressed in orange and gold robes that shimmered when she moved, her spear slung across her back. At first, she appeared to be alone, but then he spotted Vanille behind her, looking the other way, interested in a street vendor.

"Yeah, figured I'd come out and... try to shake loose." Fang rubbed a hand through her hair. "Uh, look, we just got down here. We know the world's endin' tomorrow."

"It's fine." Lightning waved her hands. "I'm not gonna stop you, don't worry."

"Of course you won't," the other woman told her, "because if you tried, you'd get a talkin' to. There's no way I'm takin' Vanille away from all this. Right, missy?" She looked at the younger woman, but Vanille still paid no mind, hands clasped behind her back, bent slightly over a display. "Yeah. See?"

Lightning smiled slightly. "Good, you both need it. I'm gonna go speak to Snow and see what's up, then I might just... crash out for the night."

"What? No, you can't do that!" Fang looked incredulous. "It's the last evening of peace! Come on, join me for a behemoth steak or something! Hang out, enjoy the nightlife!"

"I'm not... really..." Trailing off, the rose-haired warrior tipped her head. Furrows appeared in her brow, but they seemed more amused than anxious. "Well... maybe. I'll _consider_ it."

"Meet me by the meat vendor," Fang said.

"I said I'd _consider_–"

"Nah, you're comin', whether you like it or not." Now she looked directly at Caius, a glitter of mischief in her eye he wasn't sure how to take, and smirked. "And _you_ better come along as well. Of all the people to enjoy what's left of the world, don't you think you should be here, huh?"

Caius did not think so, but he knew better than to express that thought. "Perhaps."

She visibly hesitated. "Sorry about before, by the way. For hitting you."

"It is of no consequence."

She opened and closed her mouth, then shrugged.

Lightning continued on toward the palace, and Caius followed on her heels. They did not speak again until they were inside the palace, picking their way past the collapsed statue and ignoring the curious sniffing of the gorgon on a leash held by one of the guards. Only when her boots tapped out a rhythm on the marble floor inside the palace did she slow her gait and speak again.

"Can't believe she wants me out there." She sighed. "I've never been one for that sort of thing."

"And yet, you should do it," he said. "It would do you well."

"Maybe. But it's not like I can take anything with me if I buy something here. I don't see a point."

"Perhaps to enjoy a world that will die soon?"

Her steps slowed. At the base of the marble staircase, she placed a hand on the banister, then turned and looked right into his eyes. "You mean, to breathe the air and tastes the spoils of a land that's rotting away? What's the point other than making memories I'd look back on in distaste or even pain?"

He moved closer to her and bent slightly over her shoulder. "Even the memories that hurt are worth having," he said in a soft voice. "It is better..." He trailed off a moment, then took a breath and forced himself to continue. "...better to have memories of beautiful things, even if they cause you pain."

That was when he realized his hypocrisy had to end. He too would carry memories of a land he had loved past the end of the world. He would recall ancient faces, the traditions of a dead people, the mighty fal'Cie, the turn of the seasons, the stars, the bellow of a behemoth on the hunt, the way the grass shimmered in the light of the sun when a warm breeze blew over it. He would carry the memory of all those he had hurt and the face of this woman, so strong and beautiful, within his heart. And he could ponder them whenever he wished. And whenever he did not.

No. When he hurt, he was alive. He was not a living shadow. He was _alive_.

Then she said, "I wish you'd tell me what you're hiding."

He did not withdraw. "My apologies."

Their face were not very far apart at that moment, and he held the gaze she gave him, even at that distance, to see what she would do. There was dust in her hair, a mild bruise on her jaw, a few minor scratches pale with age, on her sunkissed skin, her hair tinged gold. Her eyes were large, blue as the sky, rimmed with thick black lashes over which arched slightly uneven, narrow brows matching her hair. Yet, for all the imperfections, he saw the familiar strength in her eyes, and the beauty of the woman looking back at him enthralled him.

He let himself take in every detail. He would regret it when the time came. He knew that. But he could not overrule the feelings cascading through his heart.

"You know, you have..." Lightning stopped, blinked, and turned away. "Come on."

* * *

Snow Villiers had stumbled through a great deal of his life. He had been raised in an orphanage, never knowing what happened to his parents. Maybe they were dead at the time. Maybe they had abandoned him. He had founded NORA and discovered purpose fending off monsters, but still felt aimless. He had found Serah, and only then had the pieces of his life begun to click into place. He hadn't realized then, of course, that he hadn't grown up yet. Only now, after managing a city and shedding the skin of his childhood, did he know.

He would never be the same again, of course. The man Serah would greet in the new world would not be the same Snow she had last seen in the Coliseum. But he hoped she would love him anyway.

It would, after all, all be over soon.

The end of the world was _very_ soon. He felt in the air, the earth, even in the people. It was as though they knew, somehow, the end was barreling toward them. Perhaps they felt relief. He certainly did – five centuries of darkness were about to be tossed aside as though they had never happened, except for the marks left on the hearts of those who had survived to the very end. Noel would never be the same, he knew – he might smile again, but he had grown up quite a lot. Vanille had certainly changed during her many experiences. Fang and Sazh still had their base personalities, but the realities of the last five hundred years were still visible.

What would Lightning be like in the new world? How much of her old self would still be there? Would she be able to smile again, just like old times?

She and Caius came to see him after Fang and Vanille had left to see the sights. Sazh was still around, and Noel had decided to stick around, as well. Neither of them spoke when Lightning came up to him, merely sitting in silence and listening while she told him everything.

She told him new things, and reiterated other things. She told him that the world would _begin_ to end before nightfall, based on what she knew, and that they should expect _anything_ to happen. She told him that Caius would help her until they reached they end, and then he would have to stay behind to watch over the chaos with Yeul. She told him she would be going out into the city to experience the wonder of the world one last time, then return to bed to rest up for the last day, the final stretch at the end of the world.

She expected to go up against Bhunivelze himself in some sort of final battle. Whether it came to blows would be entirely up to how reasonable he felt.

Through it all, Caius stood at her side, silent, unmoving, expressionless. It reminded him of the glimpses he had gotten of the Guardian standing at the side of the seeress. Was that what he thought of Lightning now? Was she his charge, something more precious to him than his own life?

Did she know about that?

They formulated a plan, tried to guess where the final stand would take place, and Snow spoke of the Order and their headquarters in the Luxerion cathedral. From what information had come through from the other cities, the Order had gathered in the cathedral to await the final day and encourage others to do the same. Together, he and Lightning came to the conclusion that that was the most likely place. It was the seat of Bhunivelze's power. It only made sense that he would be there. It had also been intended to be the site where those trapped in the chaos would be destroyed, but without the Clavis, the people would _remain_ trapped, neither living nor dying. Vanille would need to go there, and she would have to figure out how to free them.

And Bhunivelze, and all his followers, would be waiting for them. Whatever it was he wanted, now that the curtain had been thrown back on his plans, he would execute it there.

Then Lightning looked at him, telling him very firmly that Serah would come back, too, and that they would all go to the new world together. She said she looked forward to spending time with her family and friends again, and she was ready to take a break from all the fighting. But then, in a hushed voice, she said that, with Pulse dead, she knew Bhunivelze would dispatch _something_ else to try and stop them.

He thought of Orphan, and shivered.

As the last big population center not favored by Bhunivelze, Yusnaan would suffer next.

He knew it deep in his soul.

When they left, they left side by side, without speaking. Snow watched them go and mulled over what he had seen.

He had been stumbling a long time. Now, he had purpose.

Rubbing his fingertips over his sealed brand, he turned back to Sazh and Noel and sat down with them, drawing up a plan of action, preparing for the final battle. Even if Bhunivelze stayed his hand, there were other things that could come after them. The chaos itself posed a threat, and that wasn't even going into the unusual lack of chaos beasts over the past few days. Everything would happen at once starting tomorrow.

They had to be ready for anything.

* * *

Lightning went back out into the crowds of Yusnaan feeling uneasy. It wasn't a feeling she could easily explain if someone were to ask, she knew. It was just a _feeling_, but one that made her bones ache and the hair on her arms stand up. A sense of malaise seemed to permeate the air around them, prickling like needles on her skin. It felt like the world were holding its breath.

She desperately hoped nothing terrible would happen tonight.

They found Fang over by one of the large meat vendors, who was busy flipping steaks on a flaming grill. The dragoon stood off to the side, a plate in one hand and a fork in the other, sawing off pieces of juicy, tender meat that oozed juices the proper color as she brought them to her mouth. Vanille stood nearby as well, but she seemed intent on fiddling with her bracelet instead. Lightning saw it was a new one.

Still chewing the meat, Fang looked at them, saying, "Ah, finally. About time you two showed up."

She glanced at Caius, but he only looked at her. "Sorry."

"Don't be." Fang pushed a piece of steak into a pile of rice and vegetables, slathered all of it in a brown paste, then stuffed the whole thing in her mouth. She managed to only drop a few grains of rice. "Vanille and I have just been hangin' out, enjoyin' the sight of people relaxing. Man, wonder how many know it's almost the end?"

"Best to keep it quiet," she warned.

The other woman's vivid green eyes glared at her. "What, lie to them? Play pretend?"

"No, just... not cause a ruckus."

"Lightning, you know as well as I do that these people deserve to know when their suffering's gonna end."

She hesitated, looking around. "I just... I don't..."

Laying the fork on the plate, Fang stepped forward and laid a hand on her shoulder. "Listen," she said in a lower voice, "I get it. I _know_ it's rough to think about. But you gotta remember, most of these people, they're ready for the end. They're ready for the light at the end of the tunnel. They wanna know the Liberator's gonna protect them from the chaos and help them get to a new world. Don't you think they should know?"

She wanted to argue, but when she opened her mouth, she couldn't refute Fang's words. It was true. So many of these people had suffered through long centuries – never growing older, never able to reproduce, watching their friends and family die, the world's population slowly dwindling away to nothing.

"Yeah," she muttered. "If anyone asks, I'll give 'em the truth."

"Good. I doubt you're gonna start a mass panic or somethin', so don't worry about that." Fang let go of her and went back to eating. "Get a good slab of meat. You'll feel better."

She looked over at the vendor, who still seemed focused on flipping steaks. It couldn't hurt.

She paid for the freshest, tenderest cut – a flank steak, cooked in flavorful juices and doused in spices. Beside it was a pile of wild rice, a few grilled vegetables, and a piece of fruit she assumed was meant to clear the palate. Not interested in Fang's boisterousness, she moved off to the side, away from the crowd, and leaned against the wall to try and enjoy the food. Between the fork and the knife that came with it, she made good progress, but halfway through, she slowed until she had begun staring at the meat.

Years ago – lifetimes ago, it seemed now – she had bought a perfect behemoth steak from the market on one of her more generous paychecks, then grilled it that evening just for Serah. Her sister had been thrilled, though sad she was the only one eating it, and Lightning had smiled and promised to do it again.

And she never had.

"Lightning," Caius said, "are you feeling well?"

_Too close. You don't need him_. Lightning continued to stare at the food as she said, ignoring her mind's attempts at objecting, "My stomach is a little queasy, and... I..." She gritted her teeth, but she didn't have Hope to confide in anymore, and she didn't have her sister, either. Only Caius stayed by her side, unflinchingly, silently, and she knew he actually _listened_ to her whenever she spoke. "I just want my sister back."

There. She had admitted aloud what was gouged in her heart.

Armor creaked quietly below the din of the crowds as he moved closer to her, his chest now inches from her left shoulder. A foreign sensation flooded her at that moment, and for an _instant_, she had her heart back, tendrils of feeling and emotion creeping through her blood.

It utterly terrified her, begging her to be close to him, because she was tired, sick of fighting, and just wanted to _let go_, wanted to rest her forehead on his chest and let the sensation of him sink into her bones, wanted to find rest in _someone's_ arms and let the rest of the world melt away.

The fear filtering into her blood was raw and red, searing her mind as though branding itself on her soul. For the first time in countless centuries, she felt the kind of fear that had crept into her the first time Serah had spoken warmly and lovingly about the tall, strong, blond man who would soon steal her away.

When she looked at him, he gazed into her eyes.

"You will have her back soon enough," he assured her. "Your loneliness will soon be quenched."

Her tongue tangled in her mouth. "I'm not lonely," she managed, somehow stopping her body from quaking. This was all wrong. Everything was going _wrong_. All her self-control had begun to fail her.

"If that is the truth, then your eyes lie."

Her mouth fell open a moment before she caught it and shut it again. "_What_?"

"I have seen the way you gaze off into the crowd at times, or the look in your eyes when you speak of your sister. When we are around those who have others beside them, your eyes are solemn." Caius looked stern, but his voice could not be gentler. "There is no shame in loneliness, Lightning."

"I'm... not..." As though something had her chest in a vise, she simply could not respond, still staring at him. How did he know any of that? Did he see something she accidentally let slip through the cracks? Why was it that he had this effect on her? It was no use denying the proximity, and no use trying to convince herself none of it was real, because there he was, close to her, and she liked it, wanted _more_ of it.

Then the epiphany came. "_You_ are lonely."

For his part, the dark warrior did not flinch from her gaze as it grew steadier. He did, however, take a long time to respond, and it wasn't quite what she expected. "Yes," he said, and dipped his chin. "The life of a Guardian is a very lonely one, Lightning. Yeul is always there, but she is no true companion."

"She's not an equal," she murmured. "She's just a child."

"Yes, no matter how old her soul."

That, then, was how he had recognized what she didn't want to face. "But you'll be with every incarnation she's ever had in the chaos beyond the world's end, Caius," she said. "You _can't_ be alone then."

His gaze never wavered. "Can I?"

She swallowed. "Then... I'm sorry, _truly_ sorry, I can't save you." She looked at the ground, still trying to still her mind. He saw her loneliness, and he too was lonely. It was all wrong, backwards, inside out, as though she had fallen into a dream twisted with a nightmare, yet, paradoxically, she could not bring herself to wake from it.

"It does not matter. These final days will be worth the eternity."

A prickle traveled down her spine. "I guess."

"As long as you and the others have a future in the new world, and you are with Serah and happy, then what does it matter what happens to me? Yeul, too, will be happy." He turned aside, causing a spark of disappointment in her, and leaned against the wall beside her, back-first. "That is enough."

She ate a little more in silence, then set the fork down. "But what if... I mean, I'll be with Serah, and Snow will be there too, but, uh..."

Was she _really_ about to say this?

He did not speak, but he looked at her, and she managed to gather her courage again. "I mean, I despised Snow just because he took my sister's time. She wasn't paying attention to _me_ anymore, always running off with him, always disappearing for _hours_ with him, Snow this, Snow that, oh he's so handsome, oh he's so kind, did you hear what Snow did, oh let me tell you about his eyes _again_..." She closed her eyes. "If they marry, it's... I mean, she'll be my sister forever, but... she'll be _his_ family. I'll always be family, but..." Snorting, she shook her head. "You must think I'm some kind of idiot. You know what? Forget I said anything."

"You worry Serah will again be taken from you, swept up in her new family, and leave you alone again." He spoke as though narrating her thoughts.

Defensive, she mentally kicked herself. "Never mind, okay? Forget it."

"Words, once spoken, remain in the wind, never to be destroyed or taken back." He turned his body toward her and leaned on his shoulder, loosely crossing his arms. "You are a stubborn, proud, powerful woman, but unless you choose to remain alone, I very much doubt you will be."

"Right, okay, I don't need a shrink," she muttered, turning her face away. "Forget I said anything, okay? Please?"

"Someone will find you. He will love you, though you will try to fight him. That is your way."

Giving up, she looked sidelong at him. "Yeah? Right."

"You will never be alone, Lightning."

Feeling uncomfortable beneath his steady gaze, she returned her attention to eating and proceeded to finish off her plate, even scraping up bits of meat and rice. She then dumped the plate and utensils in the trash, wiped away the grease on her lips, and threw the napkin away with far more force than was necessary. This was not right, _he_ was not right, and she didn't like the things he was telling her. They made her uncomfortable, like she was laid bare before him, and the more she pushed back, the deeper into her he saw.

"Come on," she muttered, and walked off into the crowd, hearing him fall in step behind her. The end of the world couldn't come soon enough. The moment when they would be separated forever needed to come _now_. For days she had been with him, spending almost every waking moment with him, and it was all _wrong_. Not for the first time, she realized she did not miss her heart. It would only complicate things. It would only ruin her. She would never have been able to bear this with her brittle emotions intact. No, she _had_ to go on without her heart, even into the new world, so that she would never understand what was going on, never hurt again. She _never_ wanted to cry again, and having her heart back would allow her to do so.

Caius was her companion. He spoke to her in ways she understood, listened when her mouth pattered on, protected her from the dangers in the dark, and she was grateful, and afraid, and she just wanted him to _go_, she just wanted to move on like nothing happened, for him to _go away and leave her_.

She wanted to get away from him, but she couldn't bear to dismiss him even now. Not after the way his eyes had appeared after she had forgiven him. Not after his confession of loneliness. Not after the way he _looked_ at her, day after day, as though he saw things, knew things, and she was all he ever saw.

Her mouth was try. Her pulse wasn't beating right. She could only imagine what this would be like with her heart intact. She couldn't put words to what was going on, but _she knew_ what it was.

A desperate search for something to distract her led them back to the fountain, where Olga was now performing to a crowd that filled the entire space, almost shoulder-to-shoulder. The woman had let her hair down, adorned it with colorful, glittery ornaments sparsely placed, and had put on a floor-length gown that shimmered. It was the color of sunset, brilliant red at the top and fading to sweeps of soft-edged gold toward the bottom. Olga was a beauty, a sight to behold, and through her vanity shone that truth.

She seemed to be in the midst of singing a love song, quite forlorn, but one that seemed to call out to the heart as it arced up over the crowds and sang through the air. Some people were crying, while couples stood close together or in each other's arms. Small families clung to each other.

Lightning felt a knot in her throat. Perhaps this was _not_ the best place to end up in.

She just wanted Serah back. She didn't want to face the loneliness Caius had called to her attention, and did not want to think of a world where she existed in solitude. More than anything, she knew she _must_ leave her heart behind in this world. What did it matter if she had it, anyway? What good was emotion or feeling, when for her, it was brittle and only brought her pain?

She hugged her arms against her chest and shut her eyes tight, delving deep inside. There would be no more hint of weakness or fear within her. She had to release _all_ of it if she was to succeed.

She felt Caius close at her side, and opened her eyes.

Olga continued her set for some time, singing love songs and folk songs, some happy, some solemn, and at the end, the entire crowd applauded. Throughout that entire time, she had stood stock-still, never changing her stance, with her companion at her shoulder as seemed proper. When the crowd began to disperse and someone announced things over the loudspeaker, only then did she realize the fireworks were going off overhead and looked up.

"They granted wishes in Bodhum," she said without thinking. "I didn't think that, of course."

"Of course." He did not sound completely convinced.

She rubbed her hands over her face.

"Are you alright?"

_Stop asking if I'm alright. Stop caring if I'm okay_. "I'm fine," she snapped at him.

"Then why behave as though you are?" The look he gave her was stern, concerned, and made her falter. "There _is_ something wrong. Why lie to me?"

"I don't have to tell you what it is," she snarled. "If you won't talk to me, I don't talk to you."

"I would not ask you to tell me," he said, "only not to lie to me."

"Why can't I lie to you, huh?"

"Because it is painfully obvious when you are."

Curling her fingers against her palm, she brought her knuckles up to her forehead, pressing them against the bone as hard as she could. He could even tell when she was _lying_. Either he knew her well enough, or she was a _really_ bad liar. It was more than likely both.

"I just want to get this over with," she muttered. "I just want the end of the world to come, I want Serah back, I want it all to be _over_. Okay? Now _leave me alone_."

Caius's expression darkened, but he stayed silent. She shut her eyes tight, trying to get a grip. If Bhunivelze had taken her heart, _why_ was she behaving as though some semblance of herself had returned? Caius was getting under her skin with almost no effort, and the familiar fires of anger and fear were creeping over her. Distracting her from what needed to be done, forcing her to lose focus... she _had_ to get a grip.

What was going _on_? Why couldn't she regain control?

"Sorry," she mumbled, not looking at him.

His response was a sigh.

Now restless, she began to pace, shaking her hands at her sides and working the kinks out of her wrists. Every so often, she tipped back her head to look at the explosions of color in the sky and listen to the echo of them off the buildings. She moved out of the way as the crowd formed a circle, and as energetic music began to play, some of them trotted into the clearing and began to dance. Soon, much of the crowd had joined, and what observers there were laughed and clapped their hands to the rhythm.

The temptation to join, if only to get her mind off the things that sent it teetering on the edge of an alien abyss, was a strong one, but she resisted. She needed to focus.

Instead, she went over to the stairs, mostly deserted, and sat down, putting her head in her hands. Slowly, her head began to clear, and she felt warmth surge back into her. Her pulse returned to normal, and her body no longer felt as though it shivered in a gale. This time, when Caius came close to her – dutiful as always, or maybe habitual – the fringes of his chaos touched the void of her heart, but did not overwhelm her.

"I don't know what's wrong with me," she admitted.

He snorted. "You are being yourself."

A prickle of amusement touched her then; she lifted her face out of her palms. "This won't interfere with my work," she assured him. "But I wasn't lying when I said I want this to be over."

"There are many who would agree. I am one of them."

"I bet." She rubbed the bridge of her nose with two fingers, then groaned. "It can't happen soon enough."

"Are you so certain about that?"

"What is _that_ supposed to mean?" Frustration boiled over in the form of that single demand as she rose again to her feet, one foot placed higher than the other on the staircase.

"The sooner the world ends, the sooner you must face Bhunivelze and his horde," he pointed out. "What lies at the end of the world is anyone's supposition, but it will not be pleasant to experience. I will be with you to help you in whatever you face, but it will not be painless regardless."

The uneasy feeling she had felt creeping through her mind suddenly turned into an unmistakable sensation of fear, and she turned her head upward, at the sky.

"Caius, something's here," she said, eyes widening. "Pulse is dead. Who's left?"

He spoke the name in a cold voice that chilled her blood.

"Lindzei."

Lightning grasped her sword and scrambled up the staircase, trying to find the highest vantage point. Lindzei was the unseen builder of Cocoon and the likeness for the Cocoon l'Cie brands. Even when she had been in Valhalla, she had never caught a glimpse of Lindzei. Perhaps it was formless, or so alien that she wouldn't have recognized it even if she _had_ seen it. Where Pulse had tilled the land, Lindzei had controlled the sky.

Just as she began to make her way up the stairs to the balcony of the restaurant, the crowd devolved into shrieks of terror, and she looked up toward the sky.

Silhouetted against the fireworks was a being she had trouble making sense of, much less describing later when she was asked. It seemed reptilian, with a narrow head and talons, but its body seemed covered in feathers. Huge wings extended out, four in all, and a long, serpentine tail trailed behind it. Its entire form seemed to be on fire, lines on its body glowing bright blue-white, while a streak of pale green followed in its wake.

On the head, the jaws parted. No teeth greeted her, but a brilliant blue-green light shone from its throat, casting inky black shadows wherever it fell.

_Do you think you can defy Bhunivelze?_ The voice echoed inside her head, as clear as though she heard it with her own ears; she clamped her hands over it, skull aching. _You are his Liberator, but you are human! You are beneath him, only a tool to be wielded, just as I had tasked for my fal'Cie that you destroyed! For every life you took and every fal'Cie you felled, you will experience pain a hundredfold!_

Then the wings beat, dust and grit blowing into the air; she hunkered down and covered her mouth and nose with her forearm, unable to do anything up stare. Lindzei rose high into the sky, spreading its wings to blot out the fireworks, and opened its jaws once again.

A flash of brilliant light briefly blinded her.

When next she opened her eyes, blinking a few times to clear her vision, every person on the streets had been replaced with a lumbering, white-shelled Cie'th. Some of them were small, with spindly limbs, while others were huge and towered over them. All of them called out, screeching, sparkling in Yusnaan's light. And every one of them turned on _her_, their faces frozen in expressions of horror and pain, surrounded by crystal formations.

"Bhunivelze!" she cried out to the sky. "You _monster_!"

Lindzei's cry rang out throughout the city – an ethereal, alien, cruel-sounding cry that made her head ring. Lightning had defied Bhunivelze. She had hid from him, taken with her a man who embodied the ferocity of the chaos Bhunivelze was trying to destroy, and now, she had brought down this end upon these people.

This was not Caius's fault. This was all _her_.

"Back to the palace," she panted, and vaulted over the railing into the sea of Cie'th.

She didn't bother to fight back unless she had no choice, focusing on dodging strikes and stamping feet, trying to ignore the head-splitting screeching they made. Her sword banged on crystal shells; her companion cleared the way with powerful blasts of energy that sent the Cie'th flying into the air.

She rounded a corner to find Fang with her staff out, valiantly battling back a horde of Cie'th and occasionally tossing out pearls of light. Vanille didn't use her staff to fight, instead holding it tight at her side while she threw out blasts of colorful energy that forced the Cie'th to back up.

"Lightning! About time! What'd you _do_?" Fang spoke through the clanging on her lance and the ruckus of Vanille doing her best to keep the monsters at bay.

"Not me, Lindzei!" she said, and sidestepped in time to avoid Caius when he sent out a powerful wave of violet energy that tossed the Cie'th into the air. "We go! _Now_!"

"The viper?" Fang sounded incredulous, but followed quickly while Vanille blasted one more Cie'th away before catching up. "Wait, what? Lindzei is–" Baring her teeth, she shook her head. "Makes sense. It's what turned these poor folks into Cocoon Cie'th! Man, how are we gonna _save_ them?"

She thought of the mysterious power that had transformed Snow back into a human, then remembered that it had not done the same for the Pulse Cie'th. "I don't think we can." It pained her to speak those words, striking her right to the core, but the truth could not be forsaken.

"That can't be true!" Vanille was the one who spoke now as they surged up the steps to the plaza. "What–"

A sound like space and time being ripped open interrupted her. The force of whatever accompanied it was great enough to throw them off their feet. As Lightning hit the ground and forced herself to scramble upright again, she felt a cold feeling in her gut. Yusnaan would indeed be the next to go.

"Focus on getting everyone out of the palace," she said, expression grim. "Lindzei is going to sink this place."

"You wished for the end to come sooner," Caius reminded her.

It wasn't worth it to argue with him. Perhaps he was right. Perhaps she had somehow willed this to happen by opening her mouth like she had. Maybe it was mere coincidence.

It didn't matter.

Once inside the palace, she felt a moment of relief to see that everyone inside had avoided being transformed, which left her wondering how Fang and Vanille had avoided that fate. The posted guards needed little explaining before they darted off into the shadowy hallways. Fang and Vanille ran off to round up everyone else they could, and she charged up the stairs, calling out for Snow and the others.

"What's going on?" Snow met her halfway up his hallway, stopping her in her track. Further down, she saw Noel and Sazh, both wide-eyed, but ready for anything.

"Lindzei came," she panted. "It turned _everyone_ in the city into Cocoon Cie'th!"

Snow stared at her a long moment. "It... wh... _what_?"

Shoving him away, she said, "No time. We need to get off this continent. We're going to the Wildlands. It's the only place we can be safe. Now, gather up everyone you can, and let's _go_!"

"Don't need to tell me twice," Snow said grimly.

It took longer than she would have liked, but eventually, all the survivors – and all those who did not choose to remain behind – were gathered in the central lobby. The rest of it passed in a blur – the entire group surging out of the palace, the Cie'th being thrown left and right, the screaming and screeching of their crystal shells. Blinded by the desperation to get out of the city, she didn't dare consider what had been here just a short time ago – a vivid city of color and light and life, of song and sight and smell, destroyed by Bhunivelze's hand.

It soured her stomach and summoned a touch of guilt.

She prayed it would be worth it.

And then, somehow, there they were, stumbling onto the train. "Hold on, I'll get this one going," she heard Sazh say as he hurried to the forward car to get it out of the station. The doors shut behind them; she looked on as the Cie'th moaned and shuffled about, coming right up to the train, raising their arms to bash them against the windows until the panes cracked. Dents appeared in the walls.

The guards, including Cora, picked up their rifles and aimed them, at the ready. "Don't you dare come on here!" she heard Noel shout. "You'll regret it if you even _try_!"

Then the train lurched forward, speeding away from the screams.

Lightning stumbled to the next car, away from the crowd, and found herself at the last one in line. She kept going until she landed, palms-first, against the rear window, pressing her forehead to the glass. Its smooth coolness bled into her, but did little to calm her pounding heart. It had all happened too _fast_. One moment she was there, arguing with Caius, trying to fight her own confused feelings, and the next, Lindzei raged from the heavens and cursed the entire population of Yusnaan with no effort.

"How does it make you feel?" The soft voice made her chest feel tight. "Oh, that's right, you're Lightning. You don't feel. You don't even have a heart. I guess you're the _definition_ of heartless."

"Lumina, go away." She shut her eyes tight. "Not now."

The girl giggled, and then her presence – if she had ever really been there to begin with – vanished.

For a long time, she was alone in the car. The din of the other survivors seemed far away, and none of them came to bother her. In being alone, there was nothing to shield her from her thoughts. Without her heart to color her mind, she could only consider what had happened as though she were an outside observer. Yes, she felt a bit of guilt, but she felt removed from it all, distant. And she didn't like it.

Then she felt Caius's presence at her back and recoiled from it. Of all the people. Of _everyone_. "Go away," she said.

But he came closer instead. "There is still hope yet for the world's end."

"If I hadn't defied Bhunivelze, if I'd _just_ kept my mouth _shut_, none of this would have happened. No Pulse, no Lindzei, no Cie'th, no me getting thrown into the chaos, no Yusnaan and the Dead Dunes sinking..." She opened her eyes to see Yusnaan receding. A shroud of shadow had fallen over it, dulling its colors. "I'm still gonna fight up to the end, but I really don't know... I have... I _have_ to finish this, but..."

"And you will." He moved up beside her, voice barely audible, and she found it oddly soothing. "Whatever it was that saved Snow may yet be able to save the others. You must have hope."

"Hope. That's a hard thing to hang on to."

Silence fell for a time. "I will go if you ask it of me."

It wouldn't be far to Luxerion, she knew. From there, they would have to cross the city and use South Station to get back to the Wildlands. It was a last bastion of mankind not touched by Bhunivelze, the one place she felt they could go and not be attacked. She could have time to herself. It wouldn't be too long.

But she said, "No, you're fine right there."

In silence, he continued to stand at her side. Lightning pried herself away from the window and forced herself to stand upright. When she looked at him, he looked back, and there was no need to speak. She wanted to rest her head on his chest, or his shoulder. Of all those on this train, and all those left in the world, the dark warrior who had so callously destroyed the world seemed to understand her best.

She kept her hands to herself, kept her head up, and forced herself to gaze out the window.

Calm settled over her then.

This was it. She doubted the sun would rise again. The chaos would begin to flow out into the world. It would blacken the skies and cover the land. The chaos beasts, who had not been seen for some time, would come out again. They would rest in the Wildlands, and then they had to make their final march onto Luxerion. Whatever was going to happen, it would happen there. Bhunivelze would pay for what he had tried to do, and she would free Hope, and her sister, and escape this dying land to the new world.

And she would never see Caius, or the Yeuls, ever again, but that was alright. The cause that forced them to remain behind was noble, and for that, she knew she would be upset later, but she could accept it.

_Bhunivelze_, she thought, _you'll rue the day you woke me up_.

* * *

_And here we go, diving into the end of the world. This is the world's final sunset, the last time it'll see daylight. The ending is beginning. And poor Lightning can't quite figure out what's going on inside her. Before anyone asks, yes, it'll get explained later, but for now, there are just (admittedly blatant) hints. She also surprised me in this chapter, going off down a road I hadn't planned, but it ended up being a good, if painful, surprise. Anyway, hope you enjoy. Updates will come faster now that I'm delving into the ending climactic chapters, so you won't have to wait long for the next one. Thanks for reading, and please let me know what you think!_


	44. The Long Night

**_43 The Long Night_**

Canopus Farms was to be the party's final stop. The darkness that settled over the land was thick. While the stars were still visible, many of them had vanished behind rippling, unnatural clouds tinged gold. A checkerboard pattern could occasionally be seen within them. Rumblings from faraway – like thunder, or explosions – could be heard, causing the earth underfoot to tremble. All the vegetation had darkened in color, and the trees drooped, as though they could not bear the weight of the world's end.

The site had nearly doubled in size and tripled in population. Tents had been erected around it. She saw everyone from Heretics to chocobo farmers milling about among them. Wails of fear or pain rose from the assembly, while others simply stood around looking as though they didn't know what to do.

The darkness made her think of someone pouring black tar over everything. The shadows themselves seemed as though they had actual substance.

The group, looking weary from trying to get through Luxerion without catching any attention, fanned out into the crowds. Snow stuck close to her, though, as did Caius. The three of them moved off away from the others, and she rubbed her hands over her face. Exhaustion had settled into her bones, and time was growing very short – not only with the world, but with her ability to keep moving. Bhunivelze's power no longer favored her, though she had been able to hang on to much of it by resisting his attempt to pull it out of her.

"So we've pretty much agreed Luxerion is gonna be where the final showdown is," Snow said in a quiet voice. "I guess that's where we'll need to go, then."

"I'll need rest first," she murmured. "There's no way I can do this without some sleep." Closing her eyes a moment, she breathed in, exhaled, and reopened her eyes. Spread out before her was the Wildlands, all the way to the station, but the grass was thin, dry, and dark. What lights still remained looked like tiny points in an expanse of pitch darkness beneath the tree boughs. "It's finally here."

"The long night has begun." Caius told her.

Thinking about the last sunset and Yusnaan's revelry in the final hours before its destruction, she realized she felt relief within her as well. Once it was over and they traveled to the new world, she was going to live her life right, no longer taking anything for granted. Every moment she got to spend with Serah would be even more precious, and she would never push away her friends again. She would pursue her dream job, she would find her future, and she would be happy at last as long as everyone around her was.

So what if she had to go without her heart? How often had her emotions simply weighed her down?

Deep inside, she knew those thoughts were wrong.

Canopus Farms was a lone patchwork of light in a sea of thick shadows. Though the chaos had not risen yet to swallow the entire continent, she knew it had begun to seep into the earth underfoot. The feeling of ominousness reminded her of when the party had stood before Edenhall and seen Etro's Gate hanging overhead, or when she had stood with Noel and Serah in New Bodhum long into the future, where everything had died.

It was terrifying, and somehow exciting.

"I'm gonna go rest, as best I can. Wake me in a couple hours." Turning away, she made her way into the thick of the encampment. In her peripheral vision, she saw men and women trying to comfort their children, or Heretics standing beside hunters, or elderly sitting on the ground and staring at the roiling sky. A contradictory feeling of hope and despair, horror and wonder, pervaded the group.

When she passed Sazh, who had been kneeling beside a group of children, he looked at her and stood. "Really feels like the end, doesn't it?" he said.

Lightning slowed to a stop. "Yeah, it really does. Be sure to get some rest."

"You bet." He drew in a deep breath. "It's, uh, actually kind of exciting. If it means I get to see Dajh again and bring him on home with us, well, I'm up for anything. No matter what happens, we're with you, just like we were in Orphan's Cradle. Together to the end, you know?" Patting her shoulder, he smiled at her. "And soon, Serah'll be back. That's definitely something to celebrate."

"Yeah, it is." She smiled a little. "What're you gonna do in the new world?"

"Me? Oh, I don't know." He shrugged. "Maybe become a pilot, or I'll take up gardening. Or farming. I've got a lot of interests." He shook his head. "Then there's Dajh. I am gonna make _sure_ he grows up tall and strong, and he gets an education so he can have a better life than his old man."

"Things will work out in the end. We just have to push back Bhunivelze." She sighed. "No pressure, huh?"

"None at all," he murmured. "Get some rest, now. Try to relax."

She nodded and continued on through the crowd. Vanille was off in the distance, among the Heretics, while Fang stood by a weaponsmith, apparently making sure everything about her lance was in working order. Noel sat near the fence, on the ground, and seemed too preoccupied to pay her any mind. The only one missing, then, was Hope, and her steed, Odin, whom she hadn't seen in a good while now.

It took her longer than it should have to realize that Caius was behind her, following her step for step, but it didn't bother her at all. It felt normal, and natural.

"Lightning? Is that... did you come back to us?"

She hesitated and looked all around for the source of the familiar voice, finally spotting a young woman coming toward her on swift feet. "Oh, it's you," she said. It was the girl from Poltae who had told them of Bhunivelze and first spoke of his mother. "Forgive me, I can't recall your name..."

"No, it's fine, it's fine." She smiled. "Aeia."

"That's right." Smiling back, Lightning grasped her hand and shook it. "I'm glad to see so many safe."

"Yeah, we're okay." The girl shook her head, then raised a hand to her hair. She stroked her fingers through it as she spoke. "So, is it true? I heard around camp you're gonna face Bhunivelze himself!"

"Yeah," she muttered. "Word gets around."

"No, that boy, uh... Noel? He's the one who's been talking about it."

"Really. Did he say anything else at all?"

"Only mentioned that you _are_ running around with the Destroyer after all." Now her eyes flicked to Caius, but she didn't look frightened, only a little wary. "You could've said so in the first place."

"It wasn't the right time then."

"Maybe. So he really is helping you, huh? He's gonna help you stop Bhunivelze?"

At this, Lightning turned her head to her companion, encouraging him through her eyes to speak. Caius looked right at the girl and said, "I will stand at Lightning's side as her Guardian, and I will help her fell whatever may stand in her way. This is the only atonement I can offer."

Aeia looked him up and down. "You're definitely still scary," she said, "but... I don't know. I definitely expected you to be, well, scarier. I wasn't scared before, and I'm still not now. I mean, I can see..." Scrunching her brow, she rolled her eyes. "You know what, never mind. It doesn't matter."

Caius nodded to her. "All that has happened shall soon be washed away, and you will know peace."

"Hopefully the kind that involves me being alive," she muttered.

"It will," Lightning said. "I promise you that."

For a few moments, the girl looked unsure, but then she nodded. "I trust you both. I mean, I _could_ worry about _him_–" Here, she glanced at Caius again. "–but if _you_ trust him to help you, then... then I won't worry. If he's the one you warred with in Valhalla so long, and now you want him with you, I'm not gonna worry."

"You shouldn't." Her hand came to rest on his upper arm, just above the elbow, on the back side. "Caius will do all in his power to help me accomplish my goal."

The girl smiled broadly and laced her fingers together, tucking them in front of her hips, then bowed at the waist until her hair hid her face. She held this for a few moments before straightening again. "Be well," she said, "and may you be blessed in all your endeavors."

The warrior looked at her a moment, then pressed her heels together, extended one arm, and brought it to her chest – the classic Guardian Corps salute, something she hadn't used in what felt like lifetimes. The girl wouldn't know what it referred to, but from the warmth in her eyes, she _did_ understand the meaning.

The inn was still standing, and the same woman still manned it. "No charge," she said in a very soft voice when the warriors approached. "Not much point, anyway. All that matters is that you and your friends push back the dark so we will be able to see the light of a new world."

Lightning stopped in front of the inn entrance, staring at the woman. She didn't know her name, didn't know much about the people here, but in that moment, a kinship seemed to form.

These people were counting on her. On _them_.

She reached out and gently touched the other's arm. "I'll make sure it happens. I promise."

The woman smiled, her eyes moist. "Thank you."

Lightning pushed open the door and went into one of the two rooms – very small, with room for a tiny closet, a twin-sized bed, and a nightstand. When she sat down on the bed and sank into it, some of the weariness vanished from her bones; she pressed her hands into the sheets and hung her head.

Caius stood just inside the doorway, making the already small room look even smaller. When he spoke, his voice was so soft that it was only just audible. "While you rest, I will be in the temple with Yeul," he murmured. "When you wake, I will return to your side."

She abruptly looked up at him. "Caius..."

The shadows shrouded him, but the faint light streaming through the window at her back illuminated enough of him that she made out his expression, unreadable but for the intensity in his eyes.

"I... I..." Finding words for the thoughts roiling in her mind proved difficult, and she gathered the sheets at her sides in both fists. "Thank you. For everything. Over these past... days, you've been a great help to me. You have proven you want to make things better, and I... I don't regret bringing you with me at all. When this is all over, I promise I won't let you be forgotten in the new world. Stories will be told for generations, and everyone will know about the Guardian of the chaos who helps keep these events from repeating."

Armor creaked when he shifted his weight, looking at the floor. "I should be forgotten."

"No," she said in a gentle voice, "you shouldn't. You really think the man who brought about the world's end, then helped the Liberator and the other heroes of the Day of Ragnarok, should be forgotten? His tale should be told right alongside _all_ of ours. It's a much a part of the Crystal Age as anyone's."

Caius lifted his gaze back to hers. "Every world ends, Lightning. Even the new world will end one day. Oblivion is the fate of all things. But, for you and all those who escape this one's end, it will be long in the future."

She found no other words that moment, instead gazing at him and nodding.

"Rest well, Lightning," he said. "I will return soon."

As Lightning settled back on the bed, turning onto her side, the last thing she saw before she closed her eyes and let sleep overcome her was her companion turning away and closing the door.

* * *

Etro's temple sat upon the core of the Sea of Chaos. It had always been positioned over the most active point, the whirlpool around which the entire ocean cascaded. Even as the Sea slowly began to rise, covering the lowest points of the continent, the temple seemed to revel in its slow approach. The rocky chasms filled with chaos. The sky overhead reflected the flow of the Sea.

Within its walls, as Caius retook his solid form, it felt like the eye of the storm. Though he felt the chaos raging beneath his feet, the inside of the temple itself stood silent as death. Even the echoes of memory and time were not as fierce, as though the whole place held its breath in anticipation. That which he had set out to accomplish so many centuries ago, lifetimes ago, was about to be fulfilled.

Yeul would never again see the future. Never again would the strain of Valhalla's touch, and the kiss of the chaos, cut away parts of her life. After the end, he would be with them, and they would be happy. Some of them would wish for him to die, or to leave, but those who loved him most...

Standing in the throne room, he stared at the floor.

Those who loved him most would know boundless joy, and for that alone, he could, and _would_, set aside his own desires and wishes for their sake. He could not abandon them. They would be alone in the chaos. They would have each other, of course, but he would not be there to guide and protect them as he had for lifetimes. They were still children, and they still needed his love.

In the most secret places of his heart, he tried, at that moment, to let go of _her_. To forget Lightning. To release the feelings that had built up inside him for so long.

And it was as futile as ever.

"You have returned."

He lifted his head to see dozens of shadowy shapes around him. Some stood on the crystal throne, others on the broken pillars, on the stairs, in midair, and they all looked at him. Every one looked different – war paint, braids, different styles of clothing, a different cut of the hair, the very way she stood.

"I will always return to you," he told them. "In a short time, this world will end, and I will be here forever. Until then, I will be at Lightning's side."

"It is good you chose to take our advice and help her." One of the girls stood close to him, and he looked down at her when she spoke. "There has been so much pain and loss throughout this world, and knowing you are there, helping her end the suffering of countless lives, is a burden off us."

"As we destroyed the world," another said, in a lower tone and with a steadier gaze – the Yeul of War who cared for him deepest, "so shall you help save those whose lives have been stolen from them. Regretful though it is we cannot rejoin the people in the new world, it will be enough to know they will live good lives."

Caius nodded to her. "I will do all I can."

"We wish we could return," another said. "What we would give to see the sky and the rivers again."

"But it is not to be," the Yeul of War said, and bowed her head. "I cannot apologize enough. I have not even had the chance to do so to Lightning. On behalf of us all, may our sorrow always be known."

"It was beyond your control," he said in a stern tone. "Why blame yourself?"

"Did we not hurt your heart and drive you to this?"

He frowned. "Yes, but the fault is my own. What happened can only rest on my shoulders. If I had been stronger, perhaps this would not have happened. I only accomplished what the fal'Cie could not. It would have happened at some time regardless, though perhaps not in the same way."

"This was also Etro's fault," yet another said. "She reached into your world and created fractures. When she saved Fang from Ragnarok and sealed her brand, she widened the crack that had begun when she bestowed you with her heart. Saving the l'Cie from becoming Cie'th, reversing the crystallization of the four heroes, even bestowing upon Serah the Eyes of Etro..."

"Etro was a foolish goddess who did not fully understand what she did. Bhunivelze gave her too little power and not enough of a mind. Her intentions were pure. Her lack of foresight was not." The Yeul of War shook her head. "We can debate for days over who is truly at fault and end up with a dozen names."

"Perhaps." Caius looked up through the broken ceiling at the void of chaos hanging over them. The fountainhead flowed faster now. "It matters little now."

"At least Lightning has forgiven you your transgressions," the Yeul of War said. "That is a burden off her heart."

"Yes, it has helped her greatly," another said.

He looked at the one who had spoken, but did not reply.

"My Guardian..." The Yeul of War spoke again and came forward with a few small steps, though she kept her hands clasped together. "When you venture with us into the dark beyond, I ask, will you open your heart to us? Will you let us see the deepest recesses of your soul?"

He did not intend for his displeasure to reach his features, but could not stop it. "No."

"But you will be with us," she insisted. "What–"

"Perhaps one day, Yeul, but that is not something I wish to discuss now." How would she feel knowing that, in the deepest recesses of his heart, he despised the idea of remaining behind? That his feelings for Lightning had grown far beyond what a Guardian should feel for his charge? He could not bear to hurt her in such a way. This girl – _this one_ in particular – cared for him far too deeply, and though he could never return her affection the way she wished them to be, he also could not callously break her heart.

No. Better to wait until he had released his budding affections for Lightning. Better to wait until his heart no longer yearned for the woman he could never have.

Not that she could ever want _him_. What had he done to earn her favor?

"Time is growing short," he said, desperate to change the subject. "As Lightning rests, we must prepare. Tell me all that you know that can help us, and I will relay it to her."

The Yeul of War nodded, her sad expression thankfully fading away. "Bhunivelze gathers power in Luxerion, the last seat of his influence in this world," she said. "All of his followers – the Order and worshipers alike – will be there on the steps of the cathedral, pleading for salvation from the encroaching dark. Though the clavis has been lost, he has other ways of destroying those left behind. All of mankind has been judged by his critical eye and found wanting, but he will give Lightning one final chance to reverse that decision."

"But he wishes to keep mankind only as tools."

"Yes. She must defeat him before any of them can travel into the new world. Bhunivelze will unleash everything he has. Within him, he bears his own heart of chaos: Hope Estheim, eyes closed, as though asleep."

Caius folded his arms. "Explain."

"It is... difficult to see all of it," another Yeul admitted. "Bhunivelze himself is not of the chaos. He is formed out of crystal, a hollow shell we cannot truly see, but a thread of chaos is anchored to him now simply because Hope is present within him. Bhunivelze does not know how to handle having a heart. He stole Hope away to use him as his own eyes and ears"

"That may be to our advantage, then."

"Yes, but be warned, Bhunivelze is very powerful. He will not be felled easily. When you bring the fight to him, be ready to unleash _all_ of your power. Nothing less will stop him."

He flexed his fingers and studied the girl who had spoken. Bhunivelze combined the aspects of the crystal realm, where those of his kind existed, with the mortal and chaos realms. His power would be great indeed. Still, all of it could combine and work to their advantage – if Bhunivelze could not handle holding a human soul, and heart, within him, then it could be just enough to break his mind.

But what of the new world? Had he already created it, or did it already exist somewhere in this universe? Was it in another universe entirely?

He knew Yeul would not know the answer.

"Is there anything else?"

The Yeul of War looked to the side at one of the others, who said, "There is one. The power Bhunivelze fears is growing in strength. When you travel to Luxerion, you must cross the Sea of Chaos, but you will not need to go on foot. When you reach the shore, have the others call upon their Eidolons."

Surprised touched him. "Etro's power is gone."

"The Eidolons are of the chaos. They are Etro's work, but they _are_ made of the chaos. Call upon them, and they will help you in the final battle to come."

Caius felt a prickle of understanding in the back of his mind, but let it go for now.

Moving past the girls who had taken semisolid forms, he made his way back to Etro's throne instead of melting back into the chaos. When he was here, in solid form, instead of dispersed as he normally was, he could keep himself out of the watchful eye of Yeul and his heart sealed away. It was not foolproof, though, as fringes of his heart still spread outward and could be felt by anyone with a link to the chaos.

He took a deep breath and rested his head on one hand, letting his eyes fall closed.

This was it. After countless centuries of planning and working, and five hundred years of waiting, the end had finally arrived. The plans of the fal'Cie had also come to fruition. Everything that had ever happened throughout human history culminated with these final hours.

In his bones, in his heart, his very soul, he was tired, and ready for the end.

* * *

Lightning woke with a start and opened her eyes to pitch darkness. There was no sound beyond that of her own breathing and her clothing rustling. When she sat up, she thought she might have closed the curtains and didn't recall, only to discover that they _were_ open; she felt the coolness of the glass panes beyond when she pressed her fingers to it. Startled by this find, she rolled over to kneel instead and pressed her forehead to the glass, craning her neck, trying to perceive _any_ sort of light.

But nothing, not even starlight, greeted her from outside.

From behind came a familiar touch of chaos and the sound of her name, followed by a soft violet glow appearing that reflected off the glass. She looked over her shoulder. Caius stood in the doorway, an orb of violet light in one hand, just above his palm, his features outlined in the glow.

"How long was I out?" she asked, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. She felt stiff, having slept in her armor.

"A few hours, as planned." He tipped his head. "It is time to go."

"What happened to all the light?"

"Come outside. You will see."

Not liking the solemn tone of his voice, she crawled off the bed, took a few moments to work the stiffness out of her joints, and followed him outside.

Canopus Farms lay under a blanket of darkness so thick that she couldn't see the hand in front of her face. No stars could be seen overhead. When Caius released the orb of light and let it hang in the air, it cast black shadows that made it feel as though the universe beyond had simply ceased to exist. The huts still stood, as did the tents, the trees, the grass, and the flowers... but she could see no people.

She held her breath, but even when she strained her hearing, _nothing_ could be heard at all.

"Caius," she murmured, "what happened?"

He moved to her side, boots crunching across dirt, gravel, and dry vegetation. "The chaos has come. All the people have been swept away but those who have been personally touched by Etro. Sazh, Noel, Snow, Fang, and Vanille are here, out in the camp, looking for supplies. They will join us soon."

She shivered and rubbed her hands on her arms. She perceived a faint golden mist that drifted through the air and smelled its rancid scent. All of those people, swept away simply because they had never developed an affinity to the chaos like she and her party had.

"This is really it." Releasing her arms, she rubbed her hands together. The air had grown cold and still, like the air in Valhalla, though lacking its lifeless breeze that had stank of death and chaos. "It's... terrifying. Like the rest of the universe just... doesn't exist anymore."

"We will need to stay on the move," he said. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a flicker of light – the others, it would seem, returning. "The chaos beasts still linger around us, and if we stay in one place for too long, they may try to devour us. Our affinity to the chaos shields us, for now."

"But it's still a risk." Cracking her knuckles sounded like fireworks in the still air. Never before in her life had she experienced such _complete_ silence. Even Valhalla had had the sound of warfare, or the blooms in the temple being stirred by the freeze, or the Sea of Chaos lapping at the shore. "Are we all that's left?"

"Beyond those in Luxerion," Caius said, "we are."

Lightning shivered and shut her eyes. Trying not to think of all the people she had encountered drifting in the chaos proved a futile task. "Vanille needs to get to Luxerion. She has to help these people."

The others walked into the pink-hued light, and Sazh switched off the flashlight he had been carrying. They all gathered in a small circle without a word, exchanging looks. For a long time, no one said a word, and they all kept glancing in her direction with expectant eyes.

Lightning opened her mouth, then hesitated as she looked around. Long ago, she and her party had stood before Orphan in his cradle. They had fought Barthandelus and defied their fate to destroy Cocoon. With everything they had, they freed Cocoon from being held under the control of the fal'Cie, who had bred humans just for the sake of ultimately sacrificing them and opening Etro's Gate. They had overcome hardships, even within themselves, to accomplish that final goal.

The odds they'd faced on that day had been mighty indeed.

Then she looked at Snow, who looked back in silence. She had demanded he get away from Serah, had threatened him, hit him, apologized and meant it, accepted him. The man standing before her had changed, she knew, from the one she had first met in Bodhum, but in his heart, he was still Snow Villiers. He would still go to the ends of the universe for her sister. If only _everyone_ had someone like him.

"Snow," she said in a quiet voice, "do you remember the vision you and the others had in Orphan's Cradle?"

"You mean..." He frowned. "...after I became a Cie'th the first time?"

"Yeah. Can you..." She swallowed. "Remind me. Please."

Snow lifted his chin, a look of slight surprise in his eyes, before folding his hands together and gazing down at them. "I saw... I saw all of us someplace I never saw before, smiling and laughing. Everyone was there. Fang was there, and Vanille, Hope and Serah, and faces I had never seen before."

"That isn't what happened," she murmured. "That future never came to pass."

"It may yet still," Sazh said, his voice very quiet. "When we get to the new world, _everyone_ is going to be standing around, smiling and laughing. _Everyone_ will be there. I doubt it's what we saw. I think it was just our Focus, what we _wanted_ to have happen. But, uh... if that's the case..."

"Then our Focus will truly be complete," Vanille said then, smiling a little. "We can do it."

Lightning bowed her head. They had all come so far, traveled long roads into an uncertain future, worked so hard to make it to the end. They had started out despising one another, chafing under each other's accusations and faults, only to come together into a team that could face down the world. Now, at the very end, they would save one of their own, and even Caius Ballad, an avatar of the chaos, would be with them to help.

There was nothing, anymore, that could stop them. Not Lindzei, not the chaos beasts, not Bhunivelze, not the chaos, and not the deadline of the world's end.

"We _can_ do it," she said, echoing Vanille's assertion. "Together. We're gonna take the fight to Bhunivelze, and we'll show him what humans are _really_ capable of. Does..." She looked around. "...anyone want to say any words?"

"Hmm," Sazh said. "Well, I can say one thing for sure: I'm glad I met every one of you."

"Me, too," Vanille said. "We're all so different, but we are more than friends now, more than family. Even in the new world, I won't forget any of you, or what we accomplished together. There's lots of memories in this world, and we'll keep them safe in the new one."

Lightning smiled at the two of them. "Yeah. We've really done it, huh?"

"Lady Luck ain't gonna be on _his_ side," Fang said with a snort. "I _dare_ him to try and stop us." Then she half-smiled and patted Vanille's shoulder. "No matter what happens, we're all in this together. We're a family now. Whether we die or live, whether we fail or we succeed, there's no regrets here. I'm ready."

"Right," the redhead said with a nod.

"And I..." Noel spoke up now, very quietly. "I... just want to say... Caius..."

The dark warrior shifted his weight; she caught something unreadable in his eyes when she glanced his way.

"I... know I... I just..." The boy hung his head with a sigh. "What happened is still your fault, but I let myself slip away. It's not _all_ your fault. I need to forgive you. So..." When he looked back up, his eyes seemed to shine a little brighter in the light. "...I do. I'm letting it go."

Warmth crept into her blood; she laid a hand on Caius's arm, feeling the fringes of his chaos prickling against her palm. She looked up at him in time to see him nod.

"I still wish Yeul could go with us," he continued, "but I'm not ready to give up just yet."

"Anything can happen," Lightning said. "Keep your chin up."

The assembly nodded.

"That's it, then," she said. "We have to get moving to Luxerion, one way or another."

"There is that matter, as well." Caius spoke now, and she listened as he told them all he had heard from Yeul – that Bhunivelze held within himself the heart and soul of Hope Estheim, that he can be expected to unleash all his remaining power upon them, and then, the most surprising of all.

"The Eidolons are able to be called upon?" Snow sounded incredulous beyond belief.

"Yes," Caius told him. "We will need them to cross the Sea."

Fang and Vanille looked at each other while Sazh folded his arms with his eyebrows raised. "Well," he said, "can't say I'm gonna complain. Haven't seen mine in so long, and it'd be good to again. Now I'm ready to be moving just to try this whole thing out."

"This is it," Lightning said, bringing all eyes back to her. "Be strong. Be brave. Remember, you're not alone. Look at the comrades and family beside you. Know that together, we can do _anything_." For a moment, she took them all in, memories of their journey flooding her mind, then blinked it away and smiled.

Snow made a fist and tapped it on his chest, briefly flashing a smirk. Fang hefted her lance, letting it glitter in the light of the purple orb. Vanille folded her hands in the familiar, superstitious gesture she recognized from their long journey. Sazh patted his pistols and nodded to her. Noel folded his arms and managed to smile a little.

And beside her, Caius met her eyes, and there was no need for words between them.

She looked back at the assembly and said, "Let's finish this."

* * *

_I think this is the fastest I've ever updated this story. It only took three days to get this chapter out, though it helps that the events were easy to write and it was a relatively short chapter, at least compared to the others. Fitting that this "eve of battle" chapter is released on New Year's Eve, then._

_A couple of notes: I had originally planned to bring the Eidolons back much earlier, but the story wrote itself in a way that didn't allow for it. Also, I didn't want to stray away from Luxerion being the site of the final conflict. I did consider some other options, but in the end, I decided to stick with the canonical final location. That being said, I'm going to put my own twist on it, so it'll hopefully be entertaining regardless._

_The next chapters are the climactic ones. I've been planning them pretty much since I started almost three years ago, so I expect them to be out very quickly as well. I don't expect to go into February, as well. Thanks, and please let me know what you think!_


	45. Apocalypse

_**44 Apocalypse**_

It took some time to cross to the edge of the Sea of Chaos, and to reach it, they had to scale the cliff surrounding the train station. In pitch darkness and complete silence, to say all of it felt "eerie" would be a massive understatement. Lightning had never been more unnerved in her life. Caius kept the purple orb of light with them, spilling its violet hues across their path, but beyond it still lay pitch darkness. With all the lights of Canopus Farms out, with no stars to be seen, with the chaos cloaking everything in darkness, she almost felt as though she felt her way forward, despite the light of the orb being enough to see by.

The cliff did not drop onto a beach, but straight down into a Sea of Chaos that raged against the rock. Though it did not glow as brightly as it had in Valhalla, a faint blue tint, with an occasional golden checkerboard pattern appearing, could be seen as the Sea thrashed and surged.

"Would you look at that," Fang said, dropping to one knee at the cliff edge and looking over. "Just gotta cut straight across, and we're in Luxerion. But that thing down there looks _angry_."

Vanille made a concerned sound as she knelt on both knees, heedless of the dirt, and looked down.

Lightning squinted through the endless darkness. There, in the distance, she spotted specks of light – the cathedral, perhaps, or the other lights in Luxerion. Everywhere else was darkness. Fitting that the Order's last hideout was the last place in the world there could be any light.

"Weird Yeul said we'd need our Eidolons, plural." Fang stood up and brushed herself off. "We only _need_ one to cross the Sea, the one that flies. Bahamut can carry us all, no problem."

"I wouldn't be so sure he's all we'll need." Lightning stepped forward and touched her friend's shoulder. "Fang, if something goes wrong and we fall into the Sea of Chaos, we might not be able to get back out. I fell in once, and it was the most..." She shut her eyes tight and shook her head. "I don't even want to think about it."

"You fell in the Sea?" Sazh cried. "Wait, what'd I miss?"

"When we get to the new world, I promise I'll tell you all about it." She looked over at Caius, who met her eyes, and added, "Caius was the one who saved me, but I can't be sure he'd be able to save all of us in time. Just... trust me, you _don't_ want to fall in." She closed her eyes and swallowed.

"Alright, okay, well..." Fang shrugged. "No use standin' around thinking about getting over there. Time's runnin' out and we gotta make this quick." Cupping one hand by her mouth, she shouted into the too-still air the name of her Eidolon, the king of the skies. Her voice echoed off their surroundings and the hollow of the valley behind them, and as it faded out, for a long moment, nothing else happened.

Then Lightning saw something that startled her. For a moment, where the Sea thrashed against the cliff, a short distance out, she caught a glimmer of crystal shards in midair. It was the same phenomenon she had witnessed in front of Edenhall as the Gate had opened up in the final moments of Cocoon's existence.

And then, Bahamut burst out of the Sea, roaring, his wings trailing golden light and crystal shards, and soared into the sky. He turned over in midair, briefly lit by the glow of his sigil, and came down hard and fast enough to cause the air to rush away and force all of them to struggle to stay upright.

"Hey, you," Fang said, smiling. "It's been a real long time, hasn't it? Did you miss me, anyway?"

Bahamut made a snorting sound and turned his head toward Caius. Lightning knew that the same Eidolon could be bestowed upon multiple l'Cie, and that they had all hailed from Valhalla. He had been Caius's Eidolon far longer than he had been Fang's, and for a few moments, in a slight bow of the head and a quiet rumble from within his chest, he respectfully acknowledged that fact.

"Okay, buddy," she said, "we need you to get us to Luxerion, alright?"

Bahamut roared and transformed into his gestalt form, hovering in midair below the lip of the cliff. All of them leapt onto his back, and once all seven were assembled, the Eidolon surged forward, and the cold, dead wind rushed past them as he soared into the sky. Another orb appeared and alighted on Bahamut's back, giving them a little light as they traveled into the darkness.

"We'll get there," Fang assured the group. "Just sit tight."

Lightning turned to her companion, who stood near the back of the Eidolon, furthest away from the light, his expressionless features dimly lit. Despite the blanket of ambient chaos, she could still feel his feathering out from his heart into their surroundings. They felt... _uneasy_.

They were charging into the maw now, together, facing down a powerful enemy who saw mankind as nothing more than tools. She would be doing so alongside not only her longtime companions, but also the man who had fought her and brought this world into being. She knew she could trust him – there were no doubts about that – but she just wanted to know what he had been hiding from her all this time.

"You've been quiet." He hadn't spoken since they had left Canopus Farms.

Caius looked at her, standing with his arms at his sides, but did not speak, and looked away again.

"I don't expect getting into the cathedral, or fighting our way to Bhunivelze, to be easy," she said, clasping her hands behind her back as she looked into the receding side of the darkness. "I expect more monsters, and Lindezei is still out there, too. It's going to come after us. There's a lot of thing that'll happen, Caius. Bhunivelze might throw stuff at me I haven't even seen before. I need your head clear."

He still did not speak, and when she looked at him, he looked back at her with stern eyes.

"There it is again," she murmured. "That look."

"Lightning, now is not the time to discuss this," he told her with a sigh. "We must–"

Something surged out of the Sea far below – a gold-tinted pillar of chaos, rocketing into the sky with a roar. Bahamut dodged, nearly throwing off his riders; Fang seized him behind the head and hunkered down on her heels, while Vanille yelped and nearly slid off before Sazh stopped her with his shoulder and she caught a piece of the Eidolon's armor to stop herself from going further.

From the pillar of shadow came a glimpse of familiar ghostly fang outlined in purple – a chaos beast, hanging in midair over them, roaring. The rancid stench of chaos nearly overwhelmed Lightning, causing her to stagger back before being able to regain her focus. The checkerboard pattern rippled over the beast, betraying the fact that it bore enormous wings, though they had to real ending, instead turning to smoke toward the edges. As Bahamut surged to the left, avoiding a swipe of claws, she felt a chill in her blood.

The Sea of Chaos raged below them. More of the beasts burst out of the darkness.

"When I left to find Lightning and went stumbling through time," Snow said, "I eventually ended up in the Coliseum. I guess it was an adjunct of Valhalla. It was... you see..." He turned to look at Lightning, eyes hard in the orb's light. "_You_ know that the law of Valhalla is, the weak serve the strong. The Arbiter told me that, at the end of time, _everything_ that had warred in the Coliseum would break out to fight the final battle."

Lightning swallowed. "What are we gonna find when we land?"

Snow looked away. "_Madness_."

She then had to focus on clinging to Bahamut's armor as he suddenly corkscrewed to avoid another hail of attacks. Explosions hurt her ears; she risked a look up to see how close they were. Luxerion came ever closer, and Bahamut seemed to be flying with as much power as he could muster.

A monster flew in front of them, jaws opening wide... and Bahamut attacked with a blast of icy white light that briefly illuminated _everything_ around them – the startled faces of her companions, the tumultuous waters of the Sea below them, even a flicker on the distant, chaos-scarred mountains of the other continents.

Then Snow threw out a blast of crystal, forcing another of the monsters to careen out of the way with an ear-piercing screech of pain.

Lightning saw more ghostly teeth and glowing eyes and realized they were surrounded, but before she could do anything herself, a powerful concussive wave spread out from Bahamut and forced all of them back. It avoided hitting any of them, and she quickly realized Caius had been responsible for it. When more of them tried to charge in, he again blasted them back before they could get close enough to do any damage.

"Can you keep them back?" she shouted at the two men as she pitched in by tossing out pearls of light, forcing the monsters to stay back.

"Their number is growing," Caius told her grimly. "We cannot hold them back forever."

She looked over her shoulder. Luxerion was close, and her entire party fought with everything they had, keeping the monsters pushed back, clinging for life to Bahamut's armor as he flew swiftly through the cold air. Lightning lost track of time, only having enough mind to fall into a familiar rhythm of attacking and occasionally hacking out with her sword when one of the beasts got too close.

"Nearly there!" Fang shouted. "We're gonna go down and hit the ground running!"

"Sooner the better!" was Noel's thought on the matter.

The cold air stung her skin – it seemed the closer they got, the worse everything seemed to feel. The air smelled so strongly of chaos that it made her lungs ache, and even her blood seemed to react to its presence. As Bahamut suddenly dove downward, Fang called out for everyone to let go, and after a few moments of hesitation from most everyone – especially since they were hardly l'Cie anymore, a fall from a good enough height could kill them all – they did as she asked and plummeted.

Bahamut soared into the sky, and Lightning hit the ground, not nearly as hard as she thought she would. The others also fell much more softly than she had expected of them, and it took her a moment to realize that gravity itself, localized to where they had landed, had actually been reduced.

And Caius, who landed a short distance away, had been responsible for that. It had been such a long time since she had seen him manipulate gravity that she had forgotten he could.

"Ah, thanks," she muttered, and climbed to her feet.

Noel had landed on his knees, and he made a sound of extreme displeasure as he stood. Sazh and Snow had fared better, landing on their feet, while Fang had landed in a crouch with her lance already out. Vanille allowed Sazh to help her to her feet before she took out her pole.

Lightning lifted her broken sword off her back and looked around. They were surrounded by white-shelled Cie'th, all shuffling and sparkling in the remaining light of the city. The chaos choked the air, appearing as a thin veil of black smoke across her vision.

Long ago, they had dropped into Eden from Gran Pulse and blazed a trail forward through opposition of all kinds, desperate to save Cocoon from the fate that had befallen them. Back then, they had not known of chaos or what the ultimate plan had been for the fal'Cie. But she – but _they_ – knew now.

This time, it was Bhunivelze's last stronghold, the last bastion of this world, under siege.

"Alright then," she muttered. "Cut a path. Try not to kill them if you can help it, but don't feel too bad if you do. We have to get Vanille into the cathedral. Hopefully anyone you have to take down will be there."

"Yeah, you got it," Noel said to her.

"This should be fun," was Fang's response.

Lightning surged forward, bringing her sword down with strength instead of any finesse, and bashed one of the Cie'th so hard that it collapsed, cracking the stone street. Within that same movement, she switched directions and forced another one to move aside. As she moved to change tactics again, something hit her from behind, knocking her to her hands and knees and nearly making her let go of her sword. She rolled to the side, bringing her sword up, greeting a Cie'th that hit her with a blast of energy as she rammed her sword into her.

Her vision went white and her ears rang; she gritted her teeth, tucked her knees to her chest, and flipped over to climb back up to her feet.

She caught a glimpse of Fang slashing with her lance while Snow quickly formed a barrier between himself and a Cie'th trying to cut him down with orbs of fire, right before she had to block a strike with her sword. At the same time, her companion moved in a flicker of shadow and forced the creature responsible back with a single wave of concussive force, which in turn knocked several others down.

"We've got a path!" she shouted to the others, nodding her thanks to Caius. "Let's go!"

A shot rang out; she looked in its direction to see Sazh looked pleased with himself as one of the Cie'th, now missing a chunk from its shoulder, stumbled into one of the others. That look dissipated, however, when the creature made a move toward him, swinging an armor, and he had to scramble away.

As she led the way away from North Station in the direction of the causeway linking the northern and southern sections of the city, a sound like the earth ripping open met them.

"Whoa, what?" Sazh shouted. "That was _not_ a good sound!"

"Stay focused," Lightning told the others. "Whatever it is, it's bound to–"

Then Lindzei appeared in the sky over them, its glowing lines bright against the blackness of the chaos, an ethereal and bone-chilling scream erupting from the glow in its mouth. Lightning stumbled and gripped her skull in both hands, the sound feeling as though it pierced her mind and threatened to shatter it. As she managed to look up and squint through the pain, it was in time to see a wall of crystal appear ahead of them, blocking off access to the causeway. At the same time, the Sea surged, and three chaos beasts climbed out of it, trailing smoke, their many eyes fixed on what was likely to be their next meal.

"No, no, no, _no no no_, there's _so much no_ in all that!" Sazh was the first to react, and as she stood and regained her focus, hoisting her sword, he shouted, "Brynhildr! Need you here!"

And with a flash of heat and red light, Lightning had no more need to attack, for Valhalla's true Valkyrie, in her brilliant red armor and with fierce golden eyes, stood between her and the three beasts. With a single swing of her axe, the monsters were forced to scramble aside to avoid being struck, and they could not move fast enough again to avoid her next swing, which knocked them all aside.

When she finished up with a blast of scorching heat that made Lightning's mouth go dry, it was enough to turn the beasts to smoke as they scurried away to recover.

"Hey, that's my girl!" Sazh now stood beside her, wielding his pistols – a familiar sight indeed, one she hadn't seen in such a very long time. "Guess you haven't lost your touch after all!"

"Don't leave me out of this!" Vanille shouted above the din. As Lindzei again voiced its displeasure and Lightning worried what it might do next, Vanille called out the name of her Eidolon, the lord of the earth Hecatoncheir, who erupted from the soil in a geyser of dust and rock that spattered across the ground.

The Cie'th had been trying to follow as fast as their pathetic shuffling could go, but Hecatoncheir had no trouble blowing them back, and Vanille climbed up onto his shoulder, clinging to the armor from which sprouted too many spindly arms, urging him onward.

Lindzei reared its head back; Lightning had enough time to dive and roll aside before a blast of energy turned the spot she had been standing into slag so hot she felt the heat from a good distance away.

"You've gotta be–" She cut herself off by scrambling away again, in time to avoid yet another blast. "_Odin_!"

Then Lindzei screeched, making her head spin.

_You cannot defy Bhunivelze, and you will not accomplish what you came for. The girl will die, you will pay for what you have done, and the darkness you wield at your side will be extinguished by the Maker's light! Humans are tools to be used and cast aside when their use is done, nothing more! You are not special!_

Her Eidolon appeared from nowhere, blocking another of the blasts meant for her, and beside him appeared the dark silhouette of Caius, who seemed to pull energy directly from the Sea itself and cast it into the sky, where it nearly speared Lindzei before it jerked to the side to avoid it, screaming again.

"We can't go that way," she muttered, allowing Caius to help her back to her feet with one hand. Odin looked at her, then over at the dark warrior, but made no move to intercept. "Back the other way!"

"Bahamut!" Fang shouted. "Get back down here and _help_!"

"Odin, clear us a path!" Lightning called out, and swung herself up onto her steed's back as he transformed into his gestalt form, easily carrying her away from the worst of the conflict. She found herself unable to wield his swords, not responding to her call when she tried, but she quickly found she didn't need them – between Odin's charge, her own sword, and Caius's determination to keep their path clear, they didn't have much trouble.

Any Cie'th that got in the way were felled where they stood.

"I don't have an Eidolon! Feeling kind of left out here!" Noel was the one who shouted now, but to her relief, she heard more amusement than any real bitterness.

"You can borrow a seat on mine!" was Vanille's response to this. "Don't worry, he won't shake you off too much!"

"That doesn't help me!" he told her.

Bahamut soared overhead, blasting a hole in the Cie'th and other monsters that had begun to flood the city. True to what Snow had said, those who had warred in the Coliseum seemed to have gathered, from the lowliest fodder to the most powerful of them all, and in the distance, she heard a distinct sound, that of rapid-fire plasma cannons – even Omega, then, had joined the fray of madness that had descended.

She had seen Omega only once during her time in Valhalla, in passing, and the sight of it had chilled her blood. It had been built as a mighty weapon of war, but either no one know who by, or didn't want to speak of it. Huge and walking upon legs of metal, perhaps it hailed from a timeline of death.

If it was here, was Gilgamesh? Even the Arbiter?

She finally spotted Snow, with the Shiva sisters, riding ahead of them and casting walls of crystal and ice all around them to block out the armies that had begun to clash around them. Lightning kept her head down. Any attempt to do more than just fight through would end in disaster. This was not a final war to be won, not by them, but avoided, as the last vestiges fought for control of the New Valhalla.

A chaos beast sprang in front of them, but Snow snap-froze it in place, locking it within a lattice of crystal.

Bahamut blasted it apart, and the smoke scattered.

"Through the markets to the cathedral! Don't stop or slow down!" Lightning, trailing Snow but leading the others, spoke without looking back to see if anyone paid attention.

The streets she had wandered around on in search of people to help were full not of men, but of monsters, Cie'th and chaos beasts alike. She saw clashing swords, a flash of light, heard explosions and the earth cracking apart, and she knew then they couldn't slow down even for a second. No matter how frightening it all sounded, stopping to fight was not an option. Their Eidolons carved a swath of destruction, casting aside all those who stood in their way, and overhead, Lindzei screamed and tried to blast them.

Then a blast struck Hecatoncheir directly; Vanille shrieked as the Eidolon stumbled and caught itself with some of its many arms. In return, the Eidolon flung a volley of energy at Lindzei. Most of it missed, but one bit smashed into its side, causing it to cry out again.

"I want that thing dead," she grumbled. "Caius, if you can hear me, use _all_ your power! Lindzei has–"

Then several blasts of too-hot energy landed all around her, blowing chunks of rock into the air, and one knocked Odin clean out from under her, sending her flying. Odin went the other direction as if yanked by some force, while she landed much too hard on the stone and struggled to stand up again.

Another blast; knocked back again, the breath left her. She opened her eyes to see that the others, too, had been thrown from their Eidolons or forced to dive beneath their protection as Lindezei rained down a volley of energy pellets upon them, screaming the whole while.

"Lightning!" Caius's voice pierced the noise, and she felt him grip her forearm while his other hand rested against her forehead. "Can you still move?"

She blinked a few times and was finally able to look into his eyes. Only then did she realize her right arm hurt and looked at it to find scorch marks on her armor. A smattering of small burns covered her skin, and the longer she sat and looked at it, the worse it seemed to hurt.

"Wh... what... _what_..." Startled, she jerked her arm, but it only hurt more.

"Lightning, wait. Please, stop moving." Both of his hands went to her arm, and as she stared, a flash of violet energy spread across her skin, leaving it prickling. The burning sensation went away. "I cannot heal the burns, but I can relieve the pain." His expression was hard as he took her hand to pull her back to her feet, and he gave her a tug, then a push on the back of her shoulder, to get her going after Odin, who had reappeared still in his gestalt form, but limping slightly, slinging his head.

"We're almost there," she told her Eidolon as she climbed back up. "Get to the cathedral!"

Odin began to gallop with a noticeable limp every few steps; she heard a loud hissing sound behind her and turned her head to see Caius with his hands raised to the sky. Snow, a short distance away and in a crouch, also had a hand up, and both of them directed both chaos and crystal energy up toward Lindzei. Having to crane her neck the further she traveled, she looked up in time to see crystal dust embrace Lindzei, then the chaos join it and become hard. A few cracks appeared, and then...

An explosion ripped it open, a familiar cacophony accompanied by a brilliant flash of white, and Lindzei toppled out of the sky, crashing into a building. Its continued screaming told her it still lived, but the two men had managed to injure it enough to give the rest of them time to reach the cathedral.

Thunder rumbled in the distance, and above them, blurred by the chaos, her namesake split the sky. The world had begun to come apart in earnest.

Past South Station they continued, her leading the pack with the other Eidolons – Bahamut, Hecatoncheir, and Brynhildr – following her on either side and above her. Beyond the gates to the train cars themselves, the chaos was so thick that it blotted out the rest of the world.

As they rounded the corner to the cathedral, Vanille cried, "Everyone, the Sea! Look at it!"

Through the gaps between buildings, they could see glimpses of the Sea of Chaos. The sight of it shocked her – it had been tumultuous before, but now it surged into tall waves, and with each surge, they grew higher. While they grew no closer, she saw the Sea's level begin to drop, and in the distance, the tallest waves rose up, glowing violet and gold and blue, to stand up against the sky.

All around them, the Sea stood on end, surrounding them in an encroaching ring of destruction.

"We don't have a lot of time left," she said, but felt awe inside her. What a wonder it was to witness the end of the world. How terrifying, and how incredible.

The gates to the cathedral stood closed, but they buckled instantly under a single strike from Brynhildr as she smashed them apart. Sazh complimented her on her strength; she seemed to give him an affectionate, sidelong look before marching into the courtyard ahead of them. Lined up near the steps, in the midst of bowing but now scrambling to get out of the way, were dozens of Order faithfuls, scattering at the approach of the Eidolons.

All that stood between them and the front door now were a few guards.

Lightning rode right up to them on Odin and brandished her sword. "Move, or you'll join those in the chaos," she said.

The guards, still wearing their strange jewel-faced helmets, exchanged looks, then looked over at the Eidolons, who stood lined up behind her with their masters. "Maybe we'll die," one of them said, "but we'll do it in service to Bhunivelze, the one who will lead us into the new world with his light! You, the false Liberator, will die, whether by our hand or his! We will _die_ before we let you–"

Brynhildr smashed them aside, and they flew into the chaos, their screams swallowed by the smoke.

More thunder rumbled. Lightning swung off Odin, and as he returned to his normal form, she turned to Vanille and held out a hand. "We need to get you down to where the people in the chaos are," she said, ushering the other woman forward as she hesitated near the steps. "You're the key to saving those I can't. Come on. Bhunivelze is waiting, and the chaos isn't going to much longer."

"Right, right." Vanille took a deep breath. "No more running. I'm ready."

"Good. Now get between us and don't do nothin' reckless, hear?" Fang gripped her friend's shoulder tightly and shook it gently. "Gotta keep ya nice and fit, no disfiguring scars or nothin'. You wanna look nice for when you see Hope again, don't you, now?"

Vanille looked up with widened eyes before smiling and nodding.

Noel took up his place on the other side of her, and Sazh brought up the rear. Together, they ascended, Vanille directing them toward the back of the cathedral, and Lightning looked back in time to see the Eidolons vanish into light and a shadow take solid form in their place. It coalesced into the form of Caius, who looked grim, but focused. Unfortunately, he also seemed to be alone.

"Caius?" she said. "Where is Snow?"

"He stayed behind to slow Lindzei down," he said. "I offered to take his place, but he insisted that not only would Vanille get him out, but that I should be at your side."

Feeling her blood go a little cold, she closed her eyes and shivered. Snow, too, was trapped in the chaos, trusting her and the others to succeed. If they failed, he would be trapped forever. She couldn't do that to Serah. One way or another, they were going to finish this and win the fight against Bhunivelze.

"Of course he did." She ran a hand over her face. "Well, we're finally here. Let's get inside."

They entered the cathedral, passing rows of empty pews, the silence almost deafening. There were no more guards in here, and unmoving bodies lay strewn across the floor, such a difference from the quiet reverence she had seen from this place the last time she had come here. She had to step over more than one, wishing that she could take the time to lay them to rest properly, but there simply was _no_ time.

On the far side, they found Vanille and the others standing before the carved door. From behind it radiated the same oppressive force of chaos that had pushed against her before.

"Back there, huh?" Noel gritted his teeth. "Whatever's there feels pretty awful."

"You're tellin' me, but Dajh could be back there." Sazh stood straight and tall, chin up, hands on his pistols. "I don't care what I gotta face as long as we can save my son."

Vanille turned and took both of his wrists, looking into his eyes. "I promise, Sazh, I'll do all in my power to save Dajh from his fate," she said. "No matter what the cost, we'll get him out of there."

He smiled at her. "Don't you worry, little lady, I know you will."

Her eyes and mouth both smiled back.

Noel was the one who pushed open the doors and waved them inside. "Gotta keep it moving. Time, and the chaos, waits for no one, you know?" With a lopsided smirk, he let the others pass, paused to look between Caius and Lightning, and then continued down the steps into the shadows.

She took a deep breath. "Alright. Whatever Bhunivelze is up to, it's down there. You ready?"

"Be not concerned for me." He glanced at her. "Are you?"

"As much as I can be."

"Oh, really? You ready to go charging into certain death?"

Lightning groaned as she turned to face the voice. "Lumina, I don't have time to deal with you. Get lost."

To her surprise, the girl's eyes were far from mischievous. Instead, they looked frightened. "You can't just go down there and fight Bhunivelze and go off to the new world without me, okay? Don't go incomplete, whatever you do. You can't live a normal life without your heart!"

"I'm sick of listening to you. You've been nothing but a burden!" Lightning turned away, but Lumina practically leapt forward and snagged her wrist, stopping her.

"Don't leave me behind! Don't try to go to the new world without me! You can't!"

"Enough out of you. Let _go_!" And Lightning yanked her arm away, making the girl stumble until she fell to her hands and knees. Tears welled up in her eyes, but Lightning wasn't convinced by them. Nothing more than the tears of a girl who had lied to and manipulated her for far too long. It was just another of her manipulations, another attempt to incite emotion where there simply was none left to find.

"Please! Don't try to go without me! You _can't_!" Lumina's cries echoed behind her, but Lightning kept going, not caring if her companion followed her or not.

* * *

Caius hesitated at the top of the stairs, staring down at the rose-haired girl on her hands and knees with her tears spilling over to stain the floor. Her hair was the same shade of pink as Lightning's, much as her eyes had been the same. He did not understand how, but in some way, Lumina _was_ Lightning. Perhaps she was merely an echo of the woman, caught in the maelstrom of the chaos. Perhaps it was something else.

But when he lowered himself to one knee beside her and her tear-filled eyes found his, he knew that her words, and her tears, were completely sincere. No hint of mischief or darkness reached her eyes now.

"Can you save me?" she whispered, voice cracking. "Please, don't let me melt into the chaos. Don't let me be lost to memory. She can't leave without me, she _can't_. Nobody else will listen. Nobody else cares. _You_ care. You _care_, you can save me, you can..." Her tears spilled over again. "_Please_ don't let me fade away."

Caius felt his skin prickle at her words. She knew things she should not, and spoke with a sincerity that reached deep to touch his heart. "Lumina," he said, "who are you?"

"Someone she still needs." And then the girl settled back on her heels, hands covering her face; helpless to do much else, he watched as her form began to turn to smoke. "Don't leave me here in the dark. Don't leave without me. You can't leave without me. You can't."

And with that, she vanished into nothingness.

Bemused and feeling something in the pit of his stomach that told him something had gone horribly wrong, he hurried to follow Lightning into the bowels of the cathedral.

* * *

The strong hint of chaos wafting through the labyrinth of gray walls felt familiar as the sun to Vanille. For thirteen years, she had slept above it, mingled with it, had to listen to the cries of those trapped inside. She heard them now, screaming and wailing and pleading for help. The sensation frightened her, made her skin crawl, but she held her chin up as she marched, even shouldering her way past Fang and Noel to lead the way.

For too long, she had believed her death was the only way to save these people. The Order had fed her lies, kept her comfortable, trapped her in a gilded cage and treated her like royalty, all so she could be made a willing sacrifice when the world's time finally ran out.

Just as the people of Cocoon had once been groomed for genocide.

Without the clavis, she had no idea how to save the people. The device's intention had been to draw in their souls so they could be "purged of the darkness". She wondered, though, if the clavis had done the purging, and perhaps _she_ was to do the drawing-in. If so, then she would figure out some way to call all those in the atrium to her so they could be freed. If Lightning could only purge the chaos from the living, then she had to be the one rescuing those who existed in limbo, swallowed up by the darkness.

As far as she knew, only those who had died since the world had been filled with chaos could be recovered. Any who had died before that were long gone. Everyone she had ever known in the old world, in Oerba, was gone, and all those on Pulse, and within Cocoon. So many familiar faces would never be seen again. At least she, and the others, could remember them and tell stories of them to their descendants.

She couldn't help smiling a little at this. Oral tradition had always been a thing on Pulse, even long after the invention of writing instruments and paper and, eventually, photography and technology. It would be easy to keep telling stories as the generations went on.

She looked forward to doing exactly that. She couldn't wait.

"It's so quiet." Noel's voice seemed painfully loud in the silence. It echoed off the walls, husky undertone making it sound as though it slithered through the air, glided along the stone, and bled out into the chaos. He spoke in barely above a whisper, and his clothing, shifting over his skin, made more noise than he did.

"Probably a real bad time to finish that sentence, huh," Sazh murmured, still at the rear with his pistols ready.

"Might be," Fang muttered. "Don't much like the look of this place."

A horrible screeching sound echoed through the corridors; she felt the blood drain out of her face when she turned to look in its direction, stopping dead. "Oh, no," she whispered.

"More of those monsters?" Noel snorted and moved away from her side. "Alright. Keep going."

Vanille didn't catch on right away. "We are, but–"

"I might only stall them a second, but hey, it's a second more than you had. You get over there." When Noel looked at her, it was with eyes dark and determined. "Just remember, if you and Lightning succeed, then it doesn't matter what happens to me. I'll be free again, you hear? Now, go!"

"Noel, that's stupid!" she cried. "Why can't you just–"

A shout in the distance silenced her. There were guards still present, and judging by the wails that followed, some had become Ci'eth. Horrified, she stared openmouthed at him.

"Go on, go," he told her. "I'll go this way."

Her hands became fists as she went for the core of the matter. "Noel, you better not be trying to get yourself killed for Yeul!" He could tell her he was fine, smile a little, but he couldn't hide the depth of his love. He had pined for Yeul for _centuries_, and she had been his driving force forward to change the future once. If he couldn't go with her to the new world, that love might drive him to madness.

"Leave _her_ out of this," he demanded. "Now _go_."

"Leave him, he's not gonna listen anymore." Fang tugged on her arm just enough to get her attention; she gritted her teeth and did as the other woman asked, turning away just as Noel bolted down the corridor, and the determination to finish what they had started blazed in her heart.

Even after they rounded a few corners, she still heard wailing, the sound of metal clanging on metal, and _thought_ she heard Noel screaming in pain. Or terror.

When they finally rounded the last corner, only then did she breathe again.

"We're almost there," she said. Ahead, just down a narrow corridor, stood a pair of ornate doors covered in silver leaf. A representation of Bhunivelze as a symmetrical, stylized crystal had been carved in the center and filled with gold; on either side stood representations of Lindzei and Pulse, also as stylized crystals and filled with gold. Above and below were images of the world, including humans and fal'Cie.

She hesitated in front of the doors. The chaos emission's cool breeze blew over them, even through the heavy doors, and raised goosebumps on her skin.

"Feels like the end of the world for sure." Fang scowled at the doors and tilted her head, studying them with a severe look. "Unbelievable. But we got no choice, right?"

"It's the last of the chaos," she murmured. "Once this is gone, the cathedral will not have enough ambient chaos to keep Bhunivelze from executing his full might." Clasping a hand around her necklace, she looked at Fang and furrowed her brow. "Once this is done, Fang, he'll come for us."

"He'll get a fight." Lightning spoke up from behind, and when Vanille looked at her, she found her with her head up and walking just a step in front of Caius. The dark warrior matched her gait stride for stride, unobtrusive despite the heavy burden of chaos he still carried with him.

"Then we go." Vanille took a breath and shoved open the doors. With that single push, they swung inward on silent hinges, spilling a cold gray-gold light into the corridor.

Bhunivelze's Sanctum was one of the largest and most reversed places in the cathedral. The four angel statues stood around the dais still, but more lights had been lit, casting the cold light around at the vaulted ceiling. Four doors, all barred except for one, surrounded the dais. There was silence except for the sound of the chaos whispering as it flowed around the room, ever circling. The sanctum lacked color on its sterile stone walls and pillars, and even the skillful carvings could not mask the emptiness that pervaded it.

Moving to the center of the dais after ascending the stairs, she hesitated, then turned around, looking around at those who had assembled on the dais. Sazh stood to her right, Fang to her left, and Lightning and Caius lined up in front of her. All of them kept their eyes on her.

Vanille swallowed. Never before had she been the center of such expectant attention, not like this. Not when she actually cared what was happening. Not when all she wanted was to make those around her proud of her, and happy. Was this the last step? After this, were they to face Bhunivelze?

"Well, this is it." She tugged on her necklace again. "Um... can I just... ask something? Before it's... no." And then she shook her head. Her questions could wait. Time could not be wasted anymore. "No, no, I'll ask when we get to the new world. Let's get this done first."

And Vanille turned her own focus outward.

The thousands, perhaps even millions, of voices swirling in the darkness clouded her mind. She immersed herself in the chaos, letting it flow around her as though she were a stone in a river. She held up her hands. For a moment, she faltered. This could be dangerous, she knew. It could _still_ cost her life to finish. Or, perhaps, it would be painless and brief, and nothing exciting would happen at all.

"Souls trapped in the chaos, bound by chains of darkness, listen to me."

And all the million unique voices instantly quieted. Only the whisper of ambient chaos remained.

"The world is ending soon. You know this. In a few minutes, or maybe _moments_, the chaos will surge to cover what remains of the earth. The armies outside will clash in shadow before they are consumed. A new Valhalla will take its place, a realm of chaos where you don't belong. If you do as I ask, you can go free. You can join us in the new world. Your chains will be broken, and you can fly into the sky." She clasped her hands tight together, closing her eyes, tipping her head back to project her voice toward the ceiling. "Fly high. Look for a place of refuge. It is said the Ark will be the stronghold of mankind, but it no longer exists." Remembering the empty sky and wishing she knew why it had gone, she remembered there was no time to wonder or ask and continued, "But instead, there are those who will shield you. Band together. Fly far from Bhunivelze. The chaos bound you, but now, it will shield you. We will come for you before the end. Leave this place and find the new world!"

The voices in the chaos began to speak again, but instead of pain and suffering, they surged with hope, and as they swirled around her, she realized she could _see_ them – millions of faces she didn't recognized, a world she had never known, beneath a sun she had never seen – and their memories of _this_ world, all flashing through her mind in an endless, rapid-fire parade that filled her with fear and wonder.

Perhaps this was their last gift before her power finally faded away. Perhaps, as their way of thanking her, they entrusted her, maybe with memories that wouldn't quite make it.

And as they faded, so too did her strength.

Before her knees could hit the hard floor, strong and familiar arms encircled her. "Hey, it's all right," Fang said, close to her ear. "Look at you, all grown up. You did it, little one." One of her friend's calloused hands rubbed at her hair in a familiar gesture she had used as kids, when she was small and Fang was big, and she smiled even as her eyes closed and her head fell into the other woman's shoulder. "Good girl. You _did_ it."

"Did I really?" Sleepily, she sagged against her friend. Now that her work was _finally_ done, she was ready for peace. Ready to travel to a new world beneath a new sun. Ready to rest. To _live_.

"You sure did." Fang rubbed her back, then patted her shoulders. "Now, come on, you can rest later. Gotta get up and make it the rest of the way, you know. Come on, now." She took Vanille's wrists and helped her up, letting her do most of the work. Fang really _had_ come to see her independence, then, her strength, and her growth. She no longer needed to be protected, shielded, like a child. They weren't children anymore. That was over. The life she was to greet would be one with a truly unexpected future.

As she made it to her feet, a tremor passed through the floor. She heard nothing for a moment, and then, from in the far distance, massive bells, their tones deep and ethereal, so alien that it made her shiver, feeling both excitement and fear, began to ring out their dirge.

"Would you listen to that. The bells of Valhalla. The funeral dirge." Fang snorted, keeping one arm slung lightly around her to keep her on her feet. "The world's endin'. I'm gonna miss it."

"Me, too." Vanille managed a groggy smile. "The Vallis Media, and the Flower-filled Fissure, and the plains around Oerba, carpeted in colorful flowers..."

"The white sands by the lake. Oh, and that pretty purple dye, you remember, right?"

She chuckled quietly. "Of course," she said. Warmth and sadness filled her heart. It felt right. The sense of closure and finality was undeniable. They were saying goodbye forever to the world they had loved so dearly that they had given up their futures to crystal long ago. The memory of warm breezes, sweet-smelling flowers, the sound of the night predators, the twinkle of stars during muggy summer nights, would stay with them. She would make sure to pass it on to future generations.

The old world, no matter what, would never be forgotten.

The bells continued to sound. She never saw their source. As they rang, she saw something materialize a short distance away, in the form of a small girl. Beside her stood another girl, with hair nearly to her knees, and they gazed without moving at the assembly.

"You know, Lightning..." Lumina's voice was soft, but audible above the constant whispering. "...the world is ending, and it's gonna come soon. I think it's time you have Serah back. She'll be safe now." She smiled, and Vanille looked to see Lightning move forward with hesitant steps, until she stood in front. "And just so you know, she was always inside me. I kept her safe from the chaos."

"You..." Lightning frowned, shook her head, and spoke again with incredulity. "...kept her _safe_?"

"Yeah, and now _you_ can take care of her." Lumina spread her hands, and in a flicker of light, Vanille saw the form of Serah take shape, still shrouded in the clothing bestowed by Etro. The woman blinked, looked confused, but then she saw Lightning, and her eyes immediately lit up.

"_Lightning_!" she cried. Her body had not yet taken full form, for when Lightning stepped forward and reached for her, they could not make physical contact. "I can't believe it! I'm _back_!"

"Lumina had been shaped by your own heart," the girl beside Lumina, now obviously Yeul, said then. "When you cast her aside, she took form and function, and protected Serah from fading away. Bhunivelze cared nothing for her except to steal her form, and now, she has been returned."

Lightning visibly hesitated, examining her hand, before looking up. "But... Lumina, who are you?"

The girl's pleasant expression instantly melted away. "Someone who shouldn't exist, and that you don't want. I don't have a purpose anymore. Nobody wants me, so I'm going to... fade away. My job is done." Before she turned her back, her eyes seemed to turn wet, and her body turned to smoke.

"Lumina?" the warrior said, sounding more confused than Vanille had ever heard her.

"When the final bell tolls, the world will end. Bhunivelze will awaken, and all will be washed away into the Sea of Chaos. And Caius..." Now Yeul's eyes turned toward the center of the assembly, where the man in question still stood, silent, his expression hard and unreadable. "...shall be returned to us."

Lightning's expression changed. "What?"

Then the thirteenth chime rang out. Yeul vanished into whispering shadows. Everything fell deathly silent for a split second, so harsh that it pushed against her ears and threatened to crush her mind. The absolute silence could not be compared even to that beyond the walls.

And then a sigil appeared, brilliant gold, before them. It bore the mark of Bhunivelze, crystal energy reaching out into the sanctum, so bright that her eyes hurt and she recoiled.

"Bhunivelze..." she breathed. "He's awake."

In a flash and look of horror, Serah vanished, and as Vanille toppled back, she felt her body beginning to dissolve. Nothing she did could stop it, even as she fought and twisted and struggled with all her might.

"Thank you, Liberator, for fulfilling the task I set for you." Bhunivelze spoke in a booming voice that commanded the attention of all who stood before him. The central voice was that of Hope, one she hadn't heard in so long that even to hear it _now_ made her heart hurt. On either end of the core voice echoed faintly that of two other distinct tones, one higher, one lower, and she couldn't fathom what they could be. "Every soul you freed from its burden burns as bright as a star to me. They are mine now."

Vanille had enough time to think _oh, this is very bad_ before her consciousness tore itself from her body.

* * *

_This chapter unfortunately turned out less spectacular than I'd hoped, but still, I'm content with how it turned out. That last scene of everyone in the sanctum was a fun one, especially with Lumina and Yeul being as cryptic as ever. Next up, we have the final push to Bhunivelze, and I'm already several pages into that chapter, so expect that one to come pretty soon. Thanks to everyone who's stuck with me all this time, and please let me know what you thought!_


	46. Yesterday's Dreams

_**45 Yesterday's Dreams**_

"_Bhunivelze_!" Lightning raged with feeling she didn't know she still had, lashing out at the false god in the guise of a man who stood before the sigil. Hope still housed the creature, but instead of the simple clothes he had worn in the Ark, he had been dressed in gold and white robes decorated with black marks that seemed to tell a story, or perhaps it was the language of his race. "Those souls are _not_ yours!"

"Oh, but they are." The voice of Hope responded, the face of Hope gazed at her, but the eyes were green and glowed faintly, even in the brilliant light of the sigil and crystal energy. "Every soul not shrouded in the chaos becomes clear enough for me to see and take for myself. I will sort through them, and I will select those I deem worthy. They will toil away as proper tools–"

"_No_!" Lightning seized her sword and brandished it. "You can't have _any_ of them!"

"Unfortunate you would think this way." Hope – Bhunivelze, she reminded herself, _Bhunivelze_ – only looked at her as though she were a mote of dust. "What will you do, Liberator? You walked this path with a dark companion who has tainted you with his power and allowed you to overcome great odds, even against my agents, but not for long. Now, the darkness has peeled away from even _his_ soul, and it is _mine_."

Lightning heard Caius grunt behind her and the sound of his armor hitting the stone; she whirled to see him on his knees and fall to his hands next, pained, digging his nails into the floor.

But nothing else happened. It looked quite uncomfortable, but that was the extent of it.

Her anger subsiding, she looked back at Bhunivelze, watching his face go from triumphant to annoyed, then wrathful, one hand extended toward the dark warrior, but though he tried with all his might – just like he had with _her_ in the Ark – Caius's soul would not leave him.

"Bound in darkness, chained by chaos, sealed by hate, and eroded away. How fascinating." Bhunivelze lowered his hand, expression melting back into one of neutrality. "Very well, Liberator. Come to me. Together, we shall overlook the new world that I have wrought for you. Prove yourself worthy of my devotion." The sigil winked out, and Bhunivelze vanished with it. Silence filled the sanctum once more.

Lightning dropped her sword in her haste to run to her companion's side, one hand on his forearm, the other on the back of his shoulder. Caius stayed on his hands and knees, breathing ragged, but she waited it out, watching as he, so slowly, regained control of it.

"I'm fine," he said, and settled back on his heels, rubbing a hand over his face. "You needn't worry."

"But I do." Lightning wished she could calm her erratic pulse. There was no point in denying it anymore – she _did_ care what happened to him. She _still_ needed him. "He tried to steal you away. Just one more reason we gotta face him and stop him before he does something to the others."

Caius looked at her, expression unreadable. "Are you prepared for this?"

"I expect him to pull more tricks," she admitted with a snort. "But what does it matter? I'm strong, and I got you with me. No matter what he throws at us, we'll make it. Now..." Standing, she extended a hand. He studied her for a moment before taking it in his own; the raw strength in his fingers was enough to crush her hand, but she felt none of that, only the warmth of his skin and the twitch of a tendon.

"Lead the way, then," he said with a nod, releasing her. "I will follow wherever you go."

Lightning swallowed as she looked into his eyes. They were not so hollow anymore. She still saw their depths, as infinite and unknowable as the cosmos, but they did not frighten her. They thrilled her, made her curious, and there just _wasn't enough time left_. So many mysteries teased her from deep within his heart. So many stories he could tell her. So many things left to say between them, and there wasn't enough time.

She lifted a hand to his shoulder. At the end of the world, events _he_ had brought into being, the one who had tried so hard to destroy her would protect her until she needed him no more.

Caius Ballad, last of the Farseers, a warrior of legend and her deadliest adversary, would follow her into the maw.

Her fingers squeezed the armor as echoes of feeling bled into her.

"Lightning, before you go..."

The warrior hesitated, looking around. It had been Lumina's voice, but her physical form was nowhere to be seen. It echoed instead, throughout the sanctum, yet it also sounded as though it tumbled about in her head.

"Your sword's broken, but it can be reforged. Hold it up."

She looked back at her companion, meeting his eyes, but he said nothing, and his expression did not change. She let him go and picked up the sword. The sound of it scraping across the stone echoed in the chamber, calling even more attention to how silent the sanctum had become.

Not sure what to expect, she held it aloft, and a shimmer of golden light touched the blade. Power rippled through it. Her fingers felt as though they had been lit on fire as she watched in muted amazement while the broken end rebuilt itself, forming out of thousands of tiny, glittering shards of light. In a few seconds, the reforging completed, and she lowered the sword to run a hand over it. Completely seamless, solid against her knuckles when she rapped them against the galvanized metal, not even ringing in response.

"Serah was taken away by Bhunivelze, sure, but she's still tied to the chaos. She's reaching out to you, Lightning. It's a gift from her. Go use it to smash Bhunivelze's head in."

Lightning's free hand went to rest over her armor's emblem. "Then... she's still safe?"

"Yeah, she is. Don't worry about that. Give him a piece of your mind, and save everyone. He's got so many souls hostage. He's a devourer, a monster." Lumina's voice was soft, but a mischievous note accompanied the solemnity. "Then... then everyone else can go to the new world."

"For her, then." She returned the sword to her back and began to descend the stairs. Around her, the lights in the sanctum began to go out; she held her head up. The only door not barred off stood at the bottom of the stairs, elaborately carved with images of beasts and landscapes. She approached it, feeling herself being tugged toward it by the distant hum of Bhunivelze's power.

He would pay for everything he had done, no matter the cost to herself.

At the bottom of the stairs, a short gap greeted her, and as she crossed, her feet dulled by the carpet laid out from the top of the dais to the doors, the last of the lights went out. A surreal silvery light took its place, strangely warm compared to what had illuminated her surroundings before. A chilly wind came up, silent, while the whispers of the chaos grew a little louder as the moments passed.

Just as she reached the door, she felt the air suddenly drop in temperature. The scent of the chaos took on a tinge she recognized from her early days of wandering.

Though worried what she would find when she turned around, she did anyway.

Caius stood still, expression grim and pained, hands tightened into fists at his sides. All around them, the silhouettes of the Yeuls, in the form of smoky shadows, had appeared – hovering in midair, scattered across the floor, standing atop the dais. None of them had solid form. Every one of them looked _exactly_ the way they had looked when they had gleefully strung Serah up like a marionette before her in Valhalla and taunted her.

She opened her mouth, but her voice failed her.

"Caius is our Guardian." It seemed that many voices spoke at once. "He has been tasked by Etro to protect us for all of eternity. He is all we have ever known, all that we have ever been close to. He is more than family and more than our protector. We asked him to help you, and now, the task we bequeathed upon him is at last finished."

Her heart skipped a beat in her chest. "Yeul..."

"He is to be with us. The end of the world has come. Our burdens have been eased. Even his own have been, through your forgiveness and that of others. He is to be returned to us now. The battle you face to stop Bhunivelze is yours alone, and Caius is to have no part of it."

His eyes closed, his features tightening into an uncomfortable expression, before his knees gave out.

"Wh..." All warmth drained out of her. "What... no... n... _no_."

Her companion landed on his hands and knees again, but this time, he kept going, falling hard on the floor – a lifeless form, unmoving, unresponsive when she darted to his side and turned him over onto his back. He was heavier than she had expected, his body hard and strong even through the armor, but completely limp, as though his soul had been yanked out of him, leaving behind an empty husk that did not reach out to her.

"He belongs with _us_," the girls told her. "He is _not_ yours."

"I know... I _know_ that, I... I know..." Her voice failed her again, turning into a whisper as she gripped his wrist with one hand, staring down in faint horror as his body took on the familiar glow of chaotic energy. Taken from her, just like Serah, just like everyone else. _Taken_ from her, so close to the end. The selfish adoration this girl carried for her Guardian would force her, the Liberator, to be alone once again.

_But you can work alone in this, you don't need to drag others with you, it's not needed_.

But she knew they were all lies. If _only_ for that moment, she could admit she wanted him at her side, facing down the horrors yet to be found. No one else would be with her. She had spent too long, _too long_, wandering this world with him, watched him stand strong and grow weak, felt the fringes of his heart, the strength of his will...

And his eyes, his _eyes_, gazing at her as though she were the only thing that mattered.

She couldn't let him go. Not yet. _Not yet_.

"No. You can't. You _can't_. Not yet. Please, not _yet_."

"You would not release him when we asked before, so we will free him."

"No! You don't own him! He's not _yours_ to command! He's... he's his _own_ person!" Her heart pounded in her chest, breathing coming quicker. "He didn't want to go back yet! He _stays_!"

"By what right do you make these demands?" One of the Yeuls – the Yeul of War, whose eyes bored into her like daggers, full of emotion – took solid form and stood over her. "Caius is not your Guardian, he is ours. He has always been with us, and he will _remain_ with us forever within the darkness of the new Valhalla. The seeress possesses a blessing of the dead goddess, and Caius is her protector. We are the last vestiges of the one he slew, and he must be with us as we move to take Etro's place in the world to come. Without him, we will lack the strength we need to face the darkness and hold the chaos back from devouring your new world."

"Yes, _yes_, he _will_, he... he _will_." Her free hand caught his forearm, and it seemed she anchored him to her world, keeping the light from stealing him fully. "When this is all over, he'll be back with you. He gets to spend _eternity_ with you, whether he wants to or not. He isn't my _prisoner_, Yeul. You can spare a little more time!"

Yeul stared at her. "No. He comes with us."

"He said he'd stay until I didn't need him anymore." The feelings bleeding into her were weak, distant, but she knew what at least some of them were. Fear was among them. "Please, Yeul. _Please_. I'll need his strength. I _need_ him with me to _finish_ this. Let that final burden be undone!"

For a few heartbeats, Yeul stared at her, unwavering. Lightning stared back, still gripping Caius's wrist and forearm. The familiar prickle of his chaotic heart could not be felt against her palm; the hollow it left behind twisted her stomach into a knot. The sensation that had overcome her in Yusnaan when she walked beside him, spoke to him, listened to him, met his eyes, came to her again, still nameless. She knew what it was. She _knew_ it, but could not put a name to it. _Nothing_ she did would reveal its nature.

All she knew was that Caius's hollow body at her feet unnerved her as much as realizing the Serah in the Ark had been fake. Seeing this proud, powerful warrior who had given her so much trouble with so little effort reduced to a toy to be fiddled with hurt her very soul to witness.

But then, the girl's eyes softened; the corners of her mouth turned downward before her chin followed. Her large green eyes studied her hands as they entwined before her, fiddling with pieces of jewelry and running over slim fingers and narrow knuckles. For a very long time, silence sat between them. Her eyes came back to Lightning's, but they brimmed over with emotion. The rest of her face remained still as stone.

"He is lost," she whispered. "He is mine, and yet, he is not."

Not understanding, and not caring, Lightning gripped him tighter, and as she waited, out of the corner of her eye, she saw the glow of the chaos finally go out. Caius's body remained limp, but her pulse began to slow again.

"He will be with us soon." Yeul looked up again. "Go, then."

The Yeuls vanished, the black mist swirling into a maelstrom before vanishing again... and then came the familiar feeling of chaos brushing against her palms; she looked down at his face. His chest expanded as he took a breath, and then his eyes flicked open, briefly unfocused before meeting hers. Neither of them spoke, only staring at each other, communicating in some way she didn't understand.

"She began to take me," he said, voice so quiet she almost didn't hear, "yet decided against it."

Her tongue tangled in her mouth, having trouble forming words when he _looked_ at her that way. "Not like it's a bad thing, right?" she finally managed to get out.

Caius's expression remained unreadable, but his eyes spoke volumes, peering so deeply into hers that she once again felt laid bare before him, but this time, it didn't make her quite as uncomfortable. He prodded her for answers she refused to give in words, but the longer she looked back at him, the less stern he became. Finally, he nodded, looking away from her, and she could breathe again.

With reluctance, she let him go, allowing him to sit up and shake his head, regaining control of his body. It would take a moment for everything to come together as it had before. She settled back on her heels to wait, hands on her knees, and watched him run a hand through his hair, though it stopped halfway through as he stared into space for a long moment.

She didn't interrupt, only waiting.

He drew his legs under him and stood, helping her up. This time, his touch lingered, fingers squeezing hers – not very hard, but enough that she couldn't ignore, didn't _want_ to ignore, the pressure. For the first time, she wished she weren't wearing gloves, wishing to know what the skin bared by his armor felt like – calloused, weathered, warm, _real_. And she would never know. It was one of the many mysteries of Caius she would _never_ know.

"We..." She blinked. "...we should be going."

He didn't let go, and she didn't pull away. "Will you be alright?"

At the end of the world, with no one to hear her, what did it matter if she spoke honestly? "I'm tired, Caius, tired of fighting, tired of all... _everything_." Her thumb moved of its own accord, tracing the tendon she felt in his hand, then over the backs of his fingers, before she made herself let go, barely keeping from stepping away in shame. "When I get to the new world, I just... I want rest. I want to see my sister again. I want to laugh with her and see her happy. It doesn't matter what happens as long as she she gets to be safe. I will do _anything_ to give her a normal life."

Caius said nothing. She knew he listened to every word.

"I'll do this final fight, but I... I think Hope was right, about me needing a friend. You have been that to me, and a comrade, someone I can trust to watch my back. If you'd told me when I first got to Valhalla that this was gonna happen, I'd never have believed you." She rubbed her hands over her face. "We've got to face Bhunivelze now and get everyone to the new world. I'm counting on you."

His armor creaked as he shifted his weight and bowed his head, beads clicking together, hair catching the silvery light of their surroundings. "I will be with you."

_Wasting time_, her mind told her. She ignored it. "This isn't the man I met in Valhalla," she said as he straightened to meet her eyes again. "That man screamed at me and laughed about how much death and destruction he'd cause. He never would have listened to me like you do, and..." She took a breath. "He never, _never_ would have walked away from Yeul to guard _me_ instead. Not _ever_."

"That man died long ago," he said. "You have spent far too much of your life alone, Lightning, and though I cannot be what you need, I am glad to know I have been able to keep your loneliness at bay. When you reach the new world, promise me you will change that."

She let his words drift through the air for a moment before seizing them with a faint smile. _Loneliness_. She saw no point in denying it, not when he seemed to know and understand such things. "I don't plan to do that anymore, you know. I want friends and family around me. I can do a lot by myself, and I'm used to it, but yeah, once in a while, it's... nice to have someone to turn to."

"But do not limit yourself to your sister and your family," he told her. "The world will be far larger than that."

The corners of her mouth turned down. "Yeah, maybe."

He tilted his head. "Those walls you have crafted must come down."

For a few moments, she stared at him, mouth opening. Where did he get such accusations as that? Where could he have gotten the idea that she did such a thing? "Yeah?" she said instead. "That's rich, coming from you, a man who has higher and thicker walls than I ever could."

"And I would remove them all, if I..." He stopped, mouth still open, then closed it, frowned, and said, "...could."

"Open them to Yeul," she said as she turned back to the doors.

He did not immediately respond, but she waited patiently all the same, knowing he would. "That is one hope she can never have fulfilled," he murmured.

"Why? I mean, aren't you close anyway?"

"Because what the Yeul of War desires most is something I cannot return. That is all I can say."

Lightning remembered that Yeul confirming her accusation of being in love with Caius. Understanding came to her. All the variables were wrong. No matter how much she loved him and longed for him, while he no doubt loved her in return, it was the form of love that caused the problem. Yeul's was one type; Caius's was another. By keeping her out of his heart, she couldn't force him to do anything but stay.

The thought made her skin crawl, but she understood why Yeul felt so strongly. Caius was her Guardian, close to her and always protecting her. She herself had almost made it to womanhood, no doubt experiencing thoughts and desires none of her incarnations before or since had known. Who would not fall for someone like him, who devoted his whole _existence_ to her and would even destroy _time itself_ to save her from her fate?

"No," she said, "I get it."

As the last of the light disappeared, Caius cast another of the violet orbs of light to illuminate her way forward. She walked up to the doors, raised both hands, but stopped when they landed on the carved stone.

"Are you ready?" he said as he stood beside her.

The truth scratched at her mind, hiding away beyond the fringes of what remained of her heart. Trying to dredge it up to read it proved futile. Rather than responding, she hesitated a very long time. He did not press her, standing at her side in complete silence, their bodies close. If she moved only a little, she could be able to touch him without reaching far, and knew he would not move away.

A thousand thoughts and alien feelings warred within her, all of them nameless. It seemed that, without her heart, she couldn't understand it at all.

Shaking her head, she pushed open the doors, expecting to see the path to Bhunivelze.

But she found something far more intriguing.

What greeted her was a maze of pathways suspended precariously over open air. The ground could not be seen below large white clouds, though when she looked up, she saw the ground _above_ her. Golden sunlight warmed her skin, while architecture made with sweeping curves and calm, beautiful shades of gold and silver surrounded her on all sides. Though a thin haze of chaos could be seen and everything rippled faintly much like it had in her dream, it looked and felt incredibly real.

Lightning stepped over the threshold and looked around. It was a perfect replica of Eden during their assault, when they had fought on the racetrack before heading for Edenhall.

"Am I gazing into the past?"

Caius spoke from a short distance behind her. "No. These are merely echoes in the chaos. They are reacting to your presence. It is strong enough now to cause such images to occur, calling upon your memories to create constructs you recognize." He hesitated. "Where is this, Lightning?"

"The approach to Eden, Cocoon's capital city," she murmured. "We landed here when we got back from Gran Pulse. I'd forgotten what Cocoon even _looked_ like..." A pang of longing struck her then as she gazed at the shimmering image of the dead city. "It's gone now, smashed into Gran Pulse with the rest of Cocoon."

"And now, sunk into the chaos."

"Is this how dream worlds form?" she said, walking forward.

"They are formed by the memories and desires of those who are lost to the chaos, yes. I would not consider this a dream world, precisely, but the idea is the same."

"Are _we_ lost?"

"No. There is simply a great deal of chaos present. Press on."

Lightning nodded and began walking forward. The illusion around her hummed with energy, the whispers of the chaos filling the silence. She stayed on the narrow path that led through the center of the scaffolding, trying not to look down, feeling that if she slipped, she would end up back in the chaos. She never wanted to go back into that nightmare realm, never wanted to relieve the horror of having her existence torn apart.

Eventually, they made their way to the platform suspended above the transit terminals they had needed to drop into so long ago. She stopped at the far edge, then knelt.

"We had to jump off here to continue," she told her companion.

"If that is what you had to do then," he said, "that is what you must do again. You are expecting to follow the same path you once took, even if you are not doing so consciously."

"But if I fall into the chaos–"

"I will be with you, Lightning," he interrupted her calmly. "You need never be afraid. Should you fall into it again, I swear to you, I will not allow you to come to harm."

Grateful for his assurances, and his honesty, she leaned over the edge. "Well, then we go." Before she could give herself any reasons to hesitate, she stepped off the edge, diving headlong into empty air. Her stomach tightened as gravity pulled her into its eager embrace, the wind rushing by and whipping her hair about. The ground approached quite quickly; she coiled in midair, bringing her legs around and bracing.

Gravity changed direction; she fell at an angle now, just enough that she slid along the floor when she reached it rather than falling straight. Her slide continued at high speed; she pulled out her sword and rammed it into the ground. It stopped her dead; she swung herself around as gravity righted itself to land on her feet, at the same time yanking the sword from where it had embedded herself.

And not a moment too soon, as something massive whistled by her head.

Lightning gasped and rolled to the side to avoid a followup strike, looking up to see a beast of the chaos, one of the dog-headed bipeds she had faced inside the palace, brandishing a massive axe. It moved fast for its bulk, slinging the axe around again with a distorted grunt, smashing into the floor. Lightning scrambled to her feet and stopped the next swing with her sword, but the force of it pushed her back a few feet.

Caius appeared between her and the beast, and with a single concussive wave of force that flashed pink and violet and nearly blinded her, he sent the creature toppling back.

And it tumbled right over an edge that hadn't been there before, screaming into the abyss.

Lightning slowly straightened, becoming aware of her surroundings. Instead of Eden, what now surrounded her was a strange city of bright green lights and thick shadows. No real sunlight shone down, and the ground underfoot was made of polished metal. Overhead, the scaffolding of the racetrack was missing, replaced by a long gap between her and the nearest of the largest buildings.

"The Hanging Edge," she said, for her companion's sake. "This is near where a chunk of Cocoon got ripped out. But why would..." She trailed off, realizing that she stood near where she had begun her journey so long ago. Back then, she had stood with Sazh and fought coldly against machines and men.

How foolish she had been then. How _desperate_.

Swallowing her discomfort, she continued on at a brisk walk down the platform suspended in midair. The hiss of the chaos was constant and seemed to echo with feelings and memories all around her. The events of that day had been so long ago that she had forgotten what the Hanging Edge had even _looked_ like, and yet, here it was, a perfect replica except for the rippling on every surface.

_Lightning_.

She whirled toward the voice, startled, in time to see ghostly shapes made of chaos move past her. Though it was hard to see because of the rippling, she made out weapons and armor, the faint glow of bars representing rank, and heard the distorted echo of gunfire and screams.

_The thirteen days after we awoke were the beginning of the end_.

Though unnerved by the shadowy theater of those early days plays out around her, she continued on.

Then, materializing out of the chaos and streaming smoke behind every step, came an exact duplicate of herself, shrouded in the same clothing she had been wearing that day. Lightning stopped dead and stared into the other woman's eyes as she looked back at her with a cold blue stare.

"You remember that day, don't you?" she said, her voice perfectly reminiscent of her own. "That day when you declared war against the fal'Cie and eventually sought to destroy Cocoon itself. You were so callous." She began to walk in an arc in front of Lightning, not looking at her, instead up at the shadowy city. "You were willing to throw everyone else aside for Serah. If you'd stopped then, none of this would have happened, you know." Giving her a hard look, the duplicate vanished into smoke.

Lightning stared after her, wondering what on Pulse she had just seen.

"Do not listen to her, Lightning," Caius said firmly. "What happened during those days began long before. If not your group, then another would have felled Cocoon. There is little you could have done to stop it."

"I..." Blinking rapidly, she shook her head. "...okay."

"Keep moving. We must get through the chaos before something else stops us."

Lightning picked up the pace until she had begun to jog. She passed through more ghostly figures, and they began to take firmer shape. Bullets ricocheted, monsters roared in the distance, and she thought – she _thought_ – she heard Sazh shouting at her to not leave him behind.

"You should've just turned around. Snow could've saved Serah, you know."

The platform under her feet came apart, plunging her into open space. Lightning gasped, the event too sudden for her to too much else, and as she fell, she heard Lindzei's screech and Barthandelus's laughter, and then she landed hard on something. Her knees buckled, causing her to tumble forward. Grit and sand flew into the air; she reached out and stopped herself with one hand, though it was not an easy thing as she seemed to be clinging to nothing but yards and yards of glittering white sand.

Lightning kicked up a flurry of sparkling grit as she struggled to stand, but in her haste, she failed to look up and found something plowing into her side.

She flew through the air, hit another dune, and rolled onto her stomach with a groan.

"_Lightning_!" The sound of the earth exploding tore her out of her daze; she lifted her head and watched as a geyser of crystal dust spewed into the air. On the other side of it, she saw Cocoon, intact and suspended in midair, and a flurry of movement all around coupled with inhuman screams and the sound of war.

Kicking furiously, she avoided a strike from another of the dog-headed beasts and deflected the blow, rolling to the side before it could try again. Three more appeared from over the dune's crest, all of them brandishing axes, though two of them wore white skin and golden armor instead of the others' black skin and deep purple armor. Raising her shield, she deflected another strike, bashed it into one of the creature's knees, then sliced its flesh open with a sweep of her sword in the same motion.

The wound spewed strange bluish blood that glittered like the crystal sand around her.

The four converged, and as she backed up, turning to faced the closest one, she rammed her back against Caius's, who responded with a soft grunt. She threw out a massive pearl of light directly into the face of one of the beasts as he brought down a hail of meteors, tiny blue and purple ones that formed right out of the chaos. They rained down on the beasts, causing them to howl in pain.

When she stepped to the right, he moved smoothly to his right, filling the gap she left behind, and together they blasted two of the monsters away.

She saw him call his sword to his hand and ducked a swing, stepping under it, and on the other side, she straightened with her sword up and slashed up, forcing one of the axes away. Caius broke one of the creature's legs in half; when it fell to the ground with a roar, he kept moving, bringing his sword up and around, and plunged it into the creature she had just disarmed, making it scream. It stumbled back; she struck it with a bolt of lightning. One thunderclap later, and it sprawled out on the sand and dissolved into smoke.

They turned on the next beast. She slashed, and he changed the gravity in the immediate vicinity, tossing all of the monsters sideways. They bounced across the sand.

Smirking, Lightning ran after them, calling down blast after blast of her namesake, finishing the combo with an explosion that hurt her ears. They lay twitching, electricity crackling across their bodies, before turning to smoke a moment later as Caius crushed them beneath a single meteor.

"More come," he said, nodding in the direction of about a half-dozen more approaching.

Lightning felt her lungs tingling from exertion, but rolled her shoulders and raised her sword again. "Let's see what they got. Not getting out 'til they're down."

Into the mess of swinging axes and stomping feet they waded. Swords rang through the air; dust and grit swirled up around them. For a few minutes, they moved in perfect unison – when she stepped to the side, he took her place without slowing, and when he ducked to avoid a strike, she straightened to deflect it. Too long fighting against one another suddenly revealed the real benefit: they flowed together as one. She knew how he shifted his weight to parry, or how he twisted his body for a devastating uppercut, the way his fingers twitched whenever he was about to throw out a powerful blast of energy, or how he settled into a partial crouch whenever gravity was about to change around them... and into each subtle change, she moved without thinking.

And he, in turn, did the same, matching her step for step.

The beasts continued to converge... or rather, attempt to, but were continuously driven back. Blue blood glittering in the sunlight splattered the ground; she grasped an axe as it was raised and swung herself up to slash at the beast's head, taking off a chunk of flesh and breaking its armor there. She landed, slid down to its shoulder, and leapt off to another before it could shake her back to the ground.

_Crack_. One of the axes flew apart; Caius drove his sword into the disarmed beast. Flesh crunched and blood gushed from the wound, which he avoided. With a warrior's roar, he twisted his body for leverage and brought the sword up, splitting the beast neatly open like a cooked crustacean. It fell back, lifeless.

She smashed open another's skull; it squealed and collapsed, where she electrocuted it as she fell back down to the ground and rolled with the landing back to her feet.

Caius turned, sidestepped, and released his sword to throw out balls of flaming gas that instantly ignited the hide of one of the remaining beasts. While it screamed and clawed at its face with one hand, swinging the axe wildly with the other, she hacked at its leg and forced it down. There came another meteor, and it, too dissolved into smoke with the other two that had been taken down.

"Only four more," she managed to get out as she panted. "Doing good."

Three of the beasts came at them at once; she dodged two strikes and stumbled right into the third, where it shoved her into the ground and sent her head ringing. Caius took over, bashing the axe away from her before following up with a series of lightning-fast strikes that eventually sent the axe flying away. He stopped long enough to pull her back to her feet, in time to block a second axe. On impact, he flash-froze the metal – and the immediate vicinity, making her shiver and her teeth chatter – and it became brittle enough that when she brought her sword down on it, it splintered, one half of the business end breaking off.

The two others were hit with a slew of tiny meteors, and as they recovered, she jumped up to their level, broke open one of their skulls, and forced the other one down with a shock. When they were both on the ground, she sprang back, gravity reversed, and as they flew into the sky, Caius followed up with a blast of silver energy.

The last beast, turned its beady eyes on them, visibly hesitating, then tromped forward.

Caius dissuaded it with a single, large meteor to the face.

As its body dissolved back into chaos, Lightning stopped to catch her breath at Caius's side. Neither of them spoke, both of them looking all around for more threats, but none came. Lightning realized they had ended up in a facsimile of Oerba, before Cocoon's fall, but after the War of Transgression, with piles of glittering sand drifting around the ancient buildings and across stone pathways.

"Of all people, you'd actually abandon your sister?"

Lightning swung her blade in the duplicate's direction, but the sword passed right through her, leaving a faint golden shimmer in its wake that quickly faded. She gritted her teeth. "Who _are_ you?"

The duplicate studied her. "I took your place while you were gone. It's because of me so many were saved by light. It's because of me Hope is in the hands of the Maker, the safest place he _can_ be. You said you would protect him, but where were you when he needed you most?"

Lightning, still aiming her sword at the other woman, scowled. "Asleep. What did you do while I was gone?"

"I brought everyone to Bhunivelze in your stead."

Suddenly, she remembered what Sazh had said, days ago, about an "imposter" that had taken people back to the Ark during the world's decay. Others had mentioned something similar in the interim. Was this her? Was it shaped out of the chaos, or had it been built by Bhunivelze?

"What do you want?" Lightning demanded of the duplicate.

"Bhunivelze cast me aside when my purpose was done, just like he'll do to everyone else," she said with a shrug. "That's just how things are. Outlive your usefulness, get thrown away like simple waste. My purpose is done, so I'm in here, watching you act like a fool."

"I'm _not_ abandoning my sister," she said, "I'm getting to her, just as soon as the chaos stops getting in my way!"

"And yet, by going to the new world incomplete, you might as well not go at all." Her eyes were cold even as her lips became a soft smile. "And, you know, you might _not_, anyway."

"So _what_?" Lightning cleaved the image in two, top to bottom, causing it to scatter into golden light. She looked over Caius. "We're outta here. Bhunivelze's gotta pay."

He nodded and followed as she returned her sword to her back and began to run toward the place where they had taken an airship through a portal and back to Cocoon. This required running up steps and avoiding small monsters that did their best to get in her way – flapping, screeching monstrosities resembling Cie'th but trailing smoke, mostly, giving way to _actual_ man-sized Pulse Cie'th up top.

"Cut through!" she shouted. Every Cie'th had solid form and groaned like the real ones, and every one toppled over after only a few strikes. Caius followed up, cleaving a path through a roving group that appeared from the chaos and tried to block their way by blasting out pink energy that threw them asunder. She sprinted into the opening, avoiding a blast from another Cie'th by rolling forward and under, not looking back when she heard it screech as Caius seemed to blow it apart. The chaos whispered and slithered around her; she did her best to ignore it and kept running toward the distant, empty platform.

Instead of stopping, she leapt from the edge toward the water, watching the surface rush up to meet her. It crashed over her and sucked her into its depths, closing over her head, but it didn't fill her mouth. Instead, the stink of chaos took its place. Gravity continued to pull her down.

"You'll join Bhunivelze," her imposter said in the darkness, just before appearing beside her, glowing with a soft golden light, falling with her. "Everyone eventually does, and he adores you. He wants you at his side. Why would you turn down the opportunity for a love like that? A consuming, passionate, pure love?"

"Shut–" Her sword cut the illusion apart. "–_up_!"

"Lightning, here!" her companion called out; she saw him appear from the shadows, a hand extended, and grabbed it, clinging to him with all her might. The darkness vanished, replaced by strangely familiar blue light, and together they broke the surface of an endlessly churning sea of shadows edged in soft blue.

They flew out onto the crystal-laden beach; she landed with a sharp grunt, tumbling over and eventually landing with her face lying on the cold black sand.

"We must be close," Caius said, sounding a little out of breath himself, much to her surprise. "Look where we are."

Groaning, she pushed herself up to her knees and shook her head. "Where did–"

She looked up at the intact edifice of Etro's temple, the highest structure in the gray city that covered the interior of the island. For a moment, she was too shocked to speak. A flood of memories, most of them bad, filled her mind as she stared without speaking, but full comprehension.

"How fitting this would be the final stop." Caius stood beside her and spoke rather tersely.

Shaking her head and successfully clearing it, she climbed to her feet. She had to dodge the next moment as a beast of silver clawed at her, twittering loudly. She kicked a smaller one away, then swept her sword in an arc to fling the rest of them away and scatter them across the beach. Caius followed her lead, piercing the carapace of the larger beast and cracking it open, spewing pink-hued chaos energy into the air.

"We move," he told her. "Cut through."

"Yeah, agreed." Brandishing her weapon, she matched his speed as they sprinted up the bank of the beach toward the silent city. Tiny rift beasts tried to block their way, while larger ones made horrifying sounds like giant insects as they surged forward to join the smaller ones. Lightning made quick work of them with sweeps of her sword, sending them flying in all directions, while Caius, forgoing the sword, instead forced them away by turning gravity into an adversary before causing them to explode with rapid popping sounds.

Once among the buildings, she felt her feet leave the ground and gravity pull her upward, then, as she hung above the tallest buildings, she felt Caius tug her over a roof and watched him turn gravity upright again, bringing them both down on the roof with grunts and the clattering of armor.

"That might've been useful a lot of times before," she grumbled.

"Yes, but I have more than enough chaos here."

"What, didn't before?" Then she sighed and shook her head. "No, forget I asked."

"Perhaps," he told her, waiting for her to stand.

Somehow running through hordes of beasts as they swirled around and tried to block them, they crossed the rooftops and made it to the building below the balcony of the throne room, the same one she had stood at and watched as he laid a Yeul in the shallow waters to rest. For a moment, she cast her eyes back over her shoulder, studying the beach, memories clawing at her mind like living things–

_Falling into Valhalla. Achieving dominance over the Eidolons through war. Defying Caius when he told her to go home. Clashing for seeming hours on the beach, in midair, on rooftops, listening to him mock her, watching him smirk at her, never understanding him, never questioning her mission_.

"Caius," she said, "we met here."

He stopped near the edge of the roof, taking a moment to force a cloud of beasts to retreat and giving them a reprieve. "How little we knew then," he murmured. "If I had known what would happen to us in the end, or that we would end up warring at each other's sides instead of against one another..." He snorted, but his eyes were calm and soft when they met hers. "We truly cannot know the future."

"Sometimes, it's just not for man to know," she muttered. "Let's get to that throne room."

With the help of Caius inverting gravity again, they went tumbling onto the hard stone of the throne room. When she picked up her head, she found the illusion crystal clear instead of shimmering like all the others, and all of the beasts that had followed them turned into smoke, sucked back into the ambient chaos. Lightning picked herself up, staring at the throne with widened eyes. It had always glowed with an ethereal silver light, but now it glowed _brighter_ than ever before, even as chaos formed a roaring maelstrom around it.

"That is _actually_ the throne, I believe," her companion murmured. "I do not believe it an illusion."

"Think you're right," she muttered. "Why, though? What's different?"

Caius did not respond, instead tipping his head, staring rather intently at the crystal. A quick glance behind her showed long, black shadows stretching out toward the balcony, and beyond, the illusion of Valhalla had begun to twist and swirl as though made of wet paint caught in a vortex.

Drawn back to the throne, she studied it, and the longer she did, the more... _aware_ of it she became.

"It's calling to us," she murmured. "You hear it, don't you?"

A slow nod was all the response she needed.

She stood where she was a little while longer, hearing the illusion coming apart behind her. The sound it made was like the rushing of a great wind, blowing her hair around her shoulders. The sound of the earth splitting asunder joined the rushing sound and made the hair stand up on her arms.

"I guess this is it, then." Looking up at Caius, she waited for him to look back at her, ignoring the chaos as it threatened to over take them. "I'm guessing on the other side of that is Bhunivelze. You ready?"

"I am," he said, "but are _you_?"

Lightning bit the inside of her lip, thinking about all that had happened. There was no way to tell what they would find on the far side, but regardless, too much was at stake. The future of mankind now rested on whether they could stop the false god for good. He had captured all the souls of her friends and family. Gran Pulse had become a sphere of swirling chaos, ready at any moment to burst out, overtaking and punishing the universe for the folly of the few. It would all be ending very soon, and she couldn't afford to hesitate.

And yet, she did. They were so close to going to the new world, yet she was so close to losing Caius forever. After this was done and they left along with the captive souls, she would never see him or the Yeuls ever again.

And despite her unfeeling core, it bothered her.

"I'm ready to face Bhunivelze," she admitted. "I'm not ready for what comes after."

The wind came at an angle that blew his dark hair back from his face. His left arm, the one closest to her, started to rise, but it stopped after a few seconds and fell back to his side. No more words fell from his lips, but his eyes seemed to be speaking, _shouting_ at her, in ways he could never express with words. It was disconcerting, and yet, she felt that if she looked away, he would disappear. She wanted to etch that look onto her memories, knowing this would likely be the last time she ever saw it. She never wanted to forget it. She wanted to understand it later, when there were quiet times in the new world, when she could afford to stop, sit still, and think.

"Alright, Caius Ballad," she murmured, "let's stop Bhunivelze."

They moved away from the crumbling illusion of Valhalla; she glanced back in time to see glimpses of the other illusions collapsing in and folding into the chaos, the edges of the throne room stretching and blurring as they were also sucked in, and turned back to the throne. Side by side, they moved toward the silvery light. In her head, she heard a voice, not speaking a language she knew, but the feeling of it was strong and warm, calming her mind as the light enveloped them and yanked them suddenly forward.

Then they were in freefall, plummeting through rapid-fire images too fast for her to see. Vision still white, all she could do was reach out, trying to make sure Caius was still with her – because if he disappeared, _now_, at the end of everything, it would be too much – and felt him reach out in turn, his hand closing around hers and their fingers intertwining. The power in his grip instantly swept aside her anxiety; she took a deep breath and twisted her body to bring her legs under her, feeling him do the same.

The whiteness dissipated. The ground – an expanse of plain gray rock surrounded by sigils – rushed up to meet them. He slowed their descent, but she still landed hard enough to knock the wind out of her.

For a moment, she sat there, slowly regaining her senses.

"Ah, my Liberator. You survived the final trials and proved your worth, though you did not arrive alone, nor entirely on your own power. A pity, but a forgivable one." Bhunivelze's voice, still encapsulated in the guise of Hope's, rang in her ears, in her head, in her bones, _everywhere at once_. "Your transgressions are not enough to cast aside my adoration of you, not yet. The world stands on the brink of death because of the loss of Etro, but I dream of eternity, and you and your kind will grant me that which I desire."

Lightning grunted and forced herself to stand, hand sliding out of Caius's. They exchanged looks before gazing ahead at the source of the voice.

"An unseen power flowed through all of mankind, giving it power and purpose beyond even us. I will harness this power for myself in a new world that I have created. I will take a soul of my own to imbue myself with this power, and I will build bodies for the others to inhabit. You, my Liberator, will be beholden to a greater task: to guard the new world against the darkness, my counterpart in this... new Valhalla that is to come. If you follow me, you will know love. If you defy me, I will visit upon you pain a thousandfold worse than anything you have ever before known. Take heed, Liberator, and choose wisely."

Lightning looked all around as he spoke. They stood on a chunk of earth surrounded by pinpricks of light in the sphere of darkness, beyond which she spied the swirling masses of the chaos. Whether they were in the core of the planet or some dimension alongside it, she didn't know.

All that mattered was the brilliant golden sigil on the far side of the chunk of rock, and in front of it, the silhouette of Hope Estheim, still dressed in the ceremonial robes, waiting for them.

* * *

_Well. This was a quick update, wasn't it? That being said, I knew updates were going to come faster now that I'm in the climactic chapters. I've been planning these final chapters pretty much since I started, though they've evolved since then, of course, so they're flowing extremely well for me._

_A few quick notes: __First, the imposter was supposed to have a bigger role, even showing up earlier in the story, but she fit better here, however brief the appearance. And yes, it's the same "rose-haired phantom" described in Tracer of Memories. Next, the trials in the cathedral on the final day to reforge Lightning's sword were changed to actual replicas of the places she had visited, though a little out of order of the actual travels. I just wanted one last jaunt across Gran Pulse before it was destroyed, and seeing those places outside the windows in the actual game made me so nostalgic that I wished I'd actually been able to walk them one last time._

_Lastly, those last few paragraphs, where Bhunivelze speaks, are paraphrased from tensai-shoujo's translations off her Tumblr. I requested her permission to do so, long ago, when I first started this story, and I'm finally able to make good on it._

_So many big things planned for next chapter! The next update will come quickly, too, as I'm already a good way into it and I'm really excited to finish this out, though I expect it toward the end of next week rather than the start. It's been a long time since I even conceived this story, but the journey's finally almost over. It's hard to believe._

_Anyway, I'm content with how this chapter turned out, and I hope it didn't disappoint. Thanks for reading, and please let me know what you think!_


	47. End of An Age

_**46 End of an Age**_

Lightning's boots made little sound on the ground below her except for a faint tapping sound. The air felt cold despite the brilliance of the sigil of Bhunivelze. The faint hissing sound of the chaos could still be heard alongside another she didn't recognize. Flashes of light in her vision drew her attention to brilliant streaks that arced across the sky toward a shimmering orb hanging in the distance.

Bhunivelze in Hope's body hung before a river of golden light that seemed to sing softly, though she could barely hear it. His hands moved within it, stirring it, causing it to ripple. Every so often, he would pluck a star from the river, study it, then cast it aside. Once they were halfway across the island, though, he waved a hand and flung the river aside, causing it to flow beneath him and encircle the island.

"Do you know why I have done this?" Bhunivelze said as they drew closer. "My fal'Cie have always seen such great potential in mankind, something I have never before understood. Now, I cradle the soul of a man within me, and my eyes have been opened. I _see_." He hung in midair before his sigil and looked down at them through Hope's eyes, but they were very, very cold. "This one's unclean body of mere flesh has been remolded and reshaped. I have given it purpose, and from within it, I will rule over the new world."

Shivering from chills of both cold air and the creature's words, she stopped some distance from him, enough that she could lift her head comfortably to look at him.

"I did not know I bore his soul until another spoke of it, whispering the truth. It is imprisoned inside me now, where it cannot cause any more trouble. Now, consider what I have done for you a great honor. I am far beyond the understanding of man and chaos, and I have descended to this pitiful state for you."

She didn't reach for her sword. "What's the point? Why do it?"

"To touch this broken world and understand your kind. If my fal'Cie desired your species so strongly that they branded you as tools, perhaps you were worthy of _being_ understood." Bhunivelze descended, alighting gently on the ground, and moved close enough for her to see all the details clearly. "There is a curse on this world. In the new one, I will wash it away."

"What curse?" she said, keeping a wary eye on him. Behind him and on the other side of the sigil, she thought she saw the outline of something else, black against the pinpricks of light, but the sigil was too bright to see any detail. She tried not to think about it, staying focused on the small body before her.

"The one bestowed by my mother, Mwynn, long ago, before I killed her and took her place. This world is dying, and its final dirge will come soon. That is the curse she placed on the existence of your world."

"You killed your mother because of that?" It almost sounded noble.

But the corners of his mouth turned downward. "My mother was not worthy of ruling. She constructed me as an overseer of this world, to guide and protect life, but she did not give me tasks worth of my abilities. She told me to do things a lowly servant should do, not the mightiest of her creations." Bhunivelze curled his lip in a very human gesture. "I brought my armies against her, and killed her after a long campaign that cost many lives of our constructs on either side. Now, it is I who rules this mortal realm."

Mwynn had created him, which meant he could die. "You're pathetic."

"But it was not enough," he said, ignoring her. "Mwynn held something I did not: a soul. I was an empty shell to be filled with purpose, and I could not pursue her when she left this realm for the one beyond. Through the gate she traveled, into the darkness of the netherworld. I have sought that gate ever since, sleeping away the long centuries until the day it reopened and I could kill her at last. Only then can I take control of _both_ realms."

Bhunivelze's last words struck her like an arrow, erasing the frown, replacing it with shock. "Kill her? But... but didn't you _already_ kill her?"

"I removed her body, but not her soul. I could not find the gate, or a soul to go through it with, so I waited for the day it would be opened for me," he told her, looking at her with narrowed eyes. "Mwynn still lies in the shadows, bound up beneath layers of darkness I cannot reach or see. She can still stop me, and _you_–" Now he raised a hand with a suddenness that made her leap back a step, seizing her sword, as he pointed it at her. "–are to blame for all of this. Your actions have untangled her prison!"

Lightning gaped at him. The possibility of Mwynn being alive had always been on the table. Even the Order had given it thought, based on the conversation of those she had overheard days ago. But now, as she thought of the voice that had spoken to her, the presence that had cleared her mind, the shimmering crystal shards, the strange events that had guided and protected them throughout their journey–

–Snow being transformed back into a human.

Mwynn, who had constructed Bhunivelze and bestowed him with power, was the one thing Bhunivelze still feared, for she was alive, she was moving, and _she could still end him_.

"I don't know how," she told him. "Look, it's not like I _intentionally_ did anything."

His arm lowered. "The prison of chaos has been bound by chains for countless centuries, and those chains have grown stronger with each passing millennium, but now, they have grown to their weakest for the first time. That which shrouded her has lost much of its will. It is different. It lives."

Not understanding, she bared her teeth. "What are you going on about? All chaos is like that."

"Ah, but this is different. I can see... echoes of it when I close my eyes. When I walked among your kind, I could feel the fringes of its power. It is the chaos consuming the world, and it is responsible for breaking the seal that tore open the gate." He lifted his chin. "It is difficult for me to see properly, but I have been told by those whom I have selected as my tools that it is _different _from the rest."

Something clicked in the back of her mind. When she looked at Caius to see his eyes narrowed and brow furrowed, she knew her suspicions were correct.

Yeul's chaos had imprisoned Mwynn while she had been weak, and grown strong enough to keep her that way, perhaps unintentionally, long after she had become able to fight back... and now, at the end of the world, her grip had weakened enough to give Mwynn a way to reach through.

But if Mwynn was not here _now_, then something _still_ held her back, perhaps something in the normal chaos.

"Then, what are you going to do?" she murmured.

"One way or another, my mother must be destroyed before our new world can be complete," he said. "You are my Liberator. I have sculpted you into an amalgamation of my power and that of the chaos. When you resisted my attempts to remove my power, you proved your worth. Now, earn my adoration and my love. Go into the chaos. Slay my mother. When you have accomplished that duty, take your rightful place at my side, where I shall adore you for all of eternity, and you will never again be left wanting."

Bhunivelze's words were harsh, but they carried with them a note of undeniable warmth as he smiled at her. He really thought she would do it. He _really did think_ she would go into the chaos and _kill_ his mother for him. If she did it, there would be nothing to stop Bhunivelze, nothing but herself. He still had souls captive, and even with Caius's power, she wasn't sure she could overcome his strength.

Someone would need to seal him away forever. And the one entity she knew, somehow, beyond all doubt, could do that, was Mwynn herself.

"Left wanting?" Lightning snorted and lifted her sword. "You purged me of emotion. You threw Serah away and made a mockup of her to string me along. You ripped out my _heart_ and made me... _this_." Her free hand gestured at her body while she scowled at him. "And you think, after _all_ that, that I would _actually_ do as you ask? You think I _want_ to be loved by something like you?"

Bhunivelze's smile instantly vanished. "Don't mock me, Liberator. I am offering you peace and freedom. With me, you will know nothing but boundless joy–"

"Because that's what you'll _fill_ me with." She fell into a battle stance and gripped her sword in both hands. "I won't know any better. You'll just set me next to you like a doll, smiling and reverent of you. Well, you know what, if I ever _do_ fall in love, it'll be with someone _I_ choose. That isn't something you can _force_!" She dipped her chin. "We aren't little toys you can do with as you please. Last chance. Leave us _alone_."

Fear flashed through his eyes. "You have destroyed your future! Unclean souls will travel to the new world! They were not purged of sadness by the clavis we built so long ago, and now, even the new world must die! All must perish to protect that which I have created for you!"

"You're a selfish, childish brat," Lightning sneered at him. "I'm guessing Mwynn built you to be strong, but not enough to actually create anything that had purpose. Something else would give the creation power, and it wouldn't be _you_. So _you_ couldn't stand it and killed her. Now, you're living up to having a soul in you and throwing a tantrum because you're not _getting your way_." Then her lips curled into a smirk. "That about right?"

Bhunivelze stared at her for a long time, the silence pressing down on her ears. She heard Caius shift his stance at her side, but stayed focused on Bhunivelze.

A double-ended scythe appeared in his hand. He roared, swinging it in the air, and blasted her off her feet. Lightning flew through the air, toward the edge of the floating island, struck, and rolled. As she slid over the edge, Caius caught her forearm and yanked her back up; she rolled and flipped back up onto her feet. She raised her sword and deflected a blast with her shield when Bhunivelze threw another one her way. A series of pink-hued pearls of light flew through the air and impacted the creature's body; he screamed his fury.

But when the dust cleared, the realized it hadn't struck him, but a barrier he had swiftly brought up to block her attacks, one that shimmered gold.

"You must grant my desires," he demanded of her. Behind the sigil, the thing – whatever it was – moved enough that she could see it was _massive_. "You must be at my side, protecting my new world!"

She didn't have a chance to reply, having to dodged a few more blasts, then a vise on her chest that knocked the wind out of her and covered her vision in spots. She couldn't breathe before being slammed into the ground, face-first, nearly blacking out. Her head rang, and she couldn't move.

An explosion, muted by her landing, rocked the ground and rippled through her; she lifted her head and looked behind her to see Bhunivelze engulfed in flames, his barrier shattered.

Her companion was at her side, hand extended; she seized it and let him help her up.

As she watched, the sigil vanished in a wink. A huge, clawed hand came forward out of the dark and grasped the now-limp body of Hope. Before she had a chance to react, the fingers closed tightly around the body, then opened again, revealing nothing except a ball of light that shimmered before vanishing.

"_Hope_!" was what escaped her at the sight.

"This body of flesh is weak, and yet I shaped it to be acceptable to descend into your world as one of you." The shadows slowly slipped away as the massive creature came out of the dark to be illuminated by a light she couldn't see the source of – a cold light, bathing its body in silver. "It was once one of your most beloved men, and yet, you would attack even it to stop me. Why do you resist?"

"Where is he?" she demanded. "If his soul and his heart are inside you, _where is his body_?"

"It matters not. I will create a new one."

Lightning charged at the true body of Bhunivelze – a massive creature that dwarfed both of them, elaborate in its styling, with sweeping golden designs etched into glittering crystal. Frigid green eyes gazed down at her above a mouth that worked and twisted, much like those that had adorned Barthandelus so long ago, sometimes baring sharp teeth that glinted as though made of metal.

It was a face from her nightmares, as though Bhunivelze had shaped it to house him, but did not understand how to make a body properly and had just... pieced something together.

It utterly horrified her.

The double-ended scythe reappeared, but grew far larger, several times her size, adorned on one end with images of night and on the other with images of day. He swung it, much faster than she had anticipated from his bulk, and it knocked her straight up into the air. Her body felt like fire as he shocked her, holding her suspended, before slamming her back into the earth.

The next thing she knew, Caius was again helping her up and sent Bhunivelze howling again – a horrible, inhuman sound that made her feel like her mind were being torn apart. While she struggled to get a grip on her mind, she watched with blurred vision as her companion unleashed a shower of energy unlike anything she had ever seen out of him, blast after blast slamming into the creature's face and body, before a wave of pink energy knocked him back and sent him into a daze.

Lightning shook her head, vision clearing, and raced forward. Caius appeared before her at the last second, boosting her into the air, where she blasted Bhunivelze with her namesake, his entire body crackling with energy, and swung her sword so hard it cut into the crystal that made up his face.

"You cannot do this! I will not allow it!" The false god still spoke in Hope's voice and carried an eerie echo.

Lightning fell back, landing softly when her companion swiftly adjusted the gravity in her vicinity, and stood up straight again. The scythe came down; she ducked under it, dodged to the side, and got hit in the face with another powerful burst of blazing hot energy.

"You will obey!" the false god screamed at her. "You are _my_ Liberator, and _you will obey_!"

As he brought the scythe down again, she stopped it on her shield, the force of it nearly buckling her knees, but at her side, Caius summoned his sword to help her. Both of them pushed back against Bhunivelze's might, finally forcing him to withdraw for another strike, followed by a series of shocks to her body. When she fell to her knees and gritted her teeth, sucking in breath through them, Caius swung his sword once, bashing the scythe away and forcing Bhunivelze to flinch when he followed up with a flurry of pink energy that exploded.

Lightning staggered back to her feet as Bhunivelze said, "Impressive. I see now why you insisted on bringing this creature of darkness with you. His power is indeed immense." His voice came out tight; she looked up to see him baring his razor-sharp teeth at her. "But he cannot rule alongside you, my goddess."

"Don't you _dare_ call me that! I'm not _going_!"

"But you must, to maintain the balance of this world." Bhunivelze reared up, towering over them, raising his scythe to the sky. "He must go into the darkness with the others who are tainted with this chaos. After he is gone and my mother is dead, we shall cleanse mankind and ascend! And _you_ will be with me, adored eternally!"

"You really don't get it!" She watched him warily, but couldn't help herself. "We're _sick_ of having our free will get stripped away by things not even worthy of worship! _You_ are just a tool, too, an empty shell that threw a tantrum when _mommy_ wouldn't let you play with her things!"

Bhunivelze slammed the scythe down in a blind rage, but he telegraphed it too much, and she dodged easily, sliding to the side. As she turned, she slammed her sword down on the scythe, and Caius did the same, sending the metal ringing, but a crack appeared across its surface. Bhunivelze raised it again, roaring, holding it in the sky with both hands as it charged with glittering crystal energy.

"_Lightning_!" Caius shouted at her. She hit the ground a split second later, aware of something heavier than her having knocked her down, right before her vision flashed bright white. The air became hot, electricity crackling across the ground, making the hair scattered across her body stand on end for a few seconds. Next, the air chilled, becoming cold enough to lock her joints.

"This creature will perish! He will _not_ bar me from my Liberator! He is unworthy! He will _die_!"

Gasping for breath in air that was suddenly too thin, she somehow got her body to turn over, crawling on her hands and knees and shivering. Bhunivelze held Caius suspended in midair, his body frozen over with a thin layer of ice, one hand hovering beneath him, the other holding his scythe back.

"No, no, _no_!" Lightning forced her cold body to obey, teeth chattering, and struggled back to her feet, nearly falling over from the effort. "Leave him... _out_... of this!"

Bhunivelze roared and slashed the scythe across the warrior's body. The sight of it repelled her; her knees, too cold still to support her, buckled, and she slammed into the ground.

"He has clouded your mind, turned you against me, filled your heart with his darkness! His soul can be seen, but it is too wrapped in darkness to be cleansed! Chains of shadow bind him to this world!" Again came the scythe, raking across his body; Lightning dug her fingers into the rock and forced herself to stand, but could only barely keep her eyes on her companion's limp body as the creature took out his jealous fury on him.

"Nothing you do will change my mind!" she shouted at Bhunivelze, feeling her lips trembling and knees shaking. "Do you hear me? _Nothing_!"

Bhunivelze held the scythe aloft. "You would attack the one adored by man to stop me. You would ignore the plight of the one whom you trusted enough to bring with you on your blessed journey. I chose _you_, Liberator, for your strength of will and warrior's soul. Your power and your beauty make you a fitting counterpart to _me_, and yet, you have chosen _him_ over _me_, the one who empowered you!"

Her tongue tied itself in a knot. It couldn't be true, and yet, in a way he didn't understand, it was. "Let him go!" she said at last, brandishing her sword.

Bhunivelze opened his jaws again, teeth glittering in the pale light, and slung the scythe in a way that ejected Caius from his grasp and smashed him so hard into the island that it cracked, forming a crater around his body, and dust swirled up into the void. Lightning, still too cold to move fast enough, cried out in dismay.

Bhunivelze faced her again. "Submit your body to _me_!"

She struggled to draw breath as she stumbled over to him, aware of the false god's eyes on her as she landed on her knees beside her fallen companion. Caius lay there without even a hint of life or movement, and the fringes of his heart did not reach out to her when she touched him.

"You choose others only because you do not understand what you stand to lose."

Wisps of chaos rose out of the void around them, creeping across the rock. Bhunivelze growled. The chaos touched Caius's prone form and embraced it with the sort of tenderness she had witnessed when he had impaled himself to prove a point during their final battle in the temple.

Lightning's fingertips touched his shoulder, moved to brush the backs lightly across his jaw, before she withdrew her hand. His eyes opened, but he looked pained.

"You okay?" she murmured.

Grunting, he rose to a sitting position. "As I can be."

Bhunivelze roared, a human scream mingled with it, and attacked with furious blasts of bright, hot energy. She blocked it with her shield and threw out several pearls of light that exploded on his torso, forcing him to pull back and scream his wrath at her.

"You don't get it, do you?" she snarled at him. Warmth had begun to creep back into her body. "I don't care what happens to me, but _you are done_! You are _not_ following us to the new world where you can torment us again! We're _done_ with false gods that care nothing for mankind!" Raising her sword with one hand and hunkering down behind her shield, she said, "And I don't want _anything_ to do with you! Men can't be _forced_ to love something, we have to _want_ to! It's called 'free will', and we're getting it back!"

Bhunivelze roared at her and began slamming the scythe down around her. Rocks and grit flew into the air in a whirlwind that made it hard to see, so she fought blindly, slinging out salvos of energy that impacted his crystalline body. Most of it _pinged_ off, but every so often, she heard a satisfying _crunch_ followed by a grunt of pain. Finally, he abandoned any pretense of sense and shocked her again.

Lightning slammed down into the ground with a groan, in too much pain to move. Seconds later, Caius fell some distance away, a yelp of pain escaping him with the landing.

"If I cannot have you, no one else shall, either." Bhunivelze growled down at her. She felt the tip of one of his talons rake across her back – not gently at all, either, nicking the exposed skin and making her cringe. "I would have loved you forever. You would have been with me, adored, all-powerful, watching over the world. Now–" The talon hooked under her side, turning her onto her back. She yelped from the movement. _Everything_ hurt. "–I will purge you of your darkness and take your hollow shell as an image to accompany me."

She felt her body leave the ground. Opening her eyes, she saw herself lifted high above the rock, arms over her head, now at eye level with Bhunivelze's gemstone eyes.

The tip of the talon rested over her chest. She felt something pulling.

"Give up. Submit yourself to me. Let me adore you eternally, as you deserve to be. You shall not know pain any longer, or death, or sadness. A suitable host I have found, whom I will inhabit, and I will be with you always. You will never be alone, and... and– no! _Let your soul be mine_!"

Lightning realized with a start that her power, and her soul, _still_ wasn't coming out. Though the intensity of the pain blinded her, she smirked.

"Caius has been beside me," she panted. "He tainted me with his power, you're right. But even without him, I would _never_ 'submit' to you. You're just a _shell_, and every shell can be cracked open." Every movement a struggle, she fought against his might, pushing back as he snarled at her. "Hope! If you can hear me, I'll set you _free_! Yours will be the last soul to be saved! _Reach out for me_!"

"That vessel has been remolded and turned into a suitable habitation for _me_!" Bhunivelze slammed her back into the ground, sending her into a daze. Every inch of her body protested with pain, but when he lifted his hand away, she managed to move, if weakly, sitting up. "His soul and heart are no more! They have been made a part of me so that I may understand and rule mankind _forever_! Imprisoned inside me, he will become a vessel for he who is worthy of worship, and the eternal companion to the goddess of death."

An explosion made Bhunivelze's head jerk back. Lightning felt strong hands on her shoulders before one took hers and pulled her back upright. "Are you in pain?"

The desire to cry in relief briefly touched her mind. She just wanted to sag against him and let him hold her upright, but her will and determination, and her pride, refused to let her. "Yeah," she said through gritted teeth, "but it's better knowing you're okay. Should've known he couldn't kill you."

"Do not think it was a painless endeavor." Caius sounded strained when he spoke. "We need to end this _now_."

"Right, agreed," she grumbled. "Let's do it together."

Before Bhunivelze could fully recover, she and Caius attacked with all their might. A flurry of power flew from their hands, colliding with his shimmering crystalline body. Explosions rocked the ground they stood on, but she watched in satisfaction as Bhunivelze spent more time batting away the attacks than responding to them, eyes glowing bright green while crystals dripped from wounds in his shell.

Finally, Lightning landed a blow alongside Caius that caused Bhunivelze to recoil away from the island of rock and fall backward, scythe slipping from his grip.

"No..." The creature sounded pitiful now, scars oozing crystal dust marking his body. "My world... my new world... you have torn it from me, chosen the darkness of the chaos over my glorious light. You... you wretched _reaper_, you will perish! Fall into the chaos and be devoured!" The scythe crumbled to ash; Bhunivelze faced her and reached out with both hands toward her.

"Not me," she growled. "No, _you_ are going, sealed away forever! Let the chaos consume you and fill the void within you! And _Hope_, if you can hear me, I'm setting you free!"

Falling toward the creature as he sank into the darkness, the sphere of emptiness cracking around them and filling with the whispering darkness, she punched her sword clean through his chest. Crystal energy spewed out on all sides, bright like tiny suns. Bhunivelze screamed his rage – a very _human_ scream, in Hope's voice, growing more and more distorted the longer it went until it became nothing more than a sound like Lindzei had made while raging from the sky, and the shell cracked open.

Lightning saw a star blow past her face and kicked off his body, bright light shining all around even as the chaos swirled around him, wrapping chains of darkness around his limbs. Though she saw the shell seal itself back up and him lift his head to snarl at her again, she paid it no heed, feeling herself be hoisted away and out of the swirling Sea, back onto the island of rock.

She landed on her knees and skidded to a halt.

The golden river rose from beneath the island and arced into the sky. Orbs of light detached themselves from the river and dropped onto the rock. Each one was joined by a whispering piece of chaos, and when they hit the ground, they took form – Sazh, Fang, Vanille, Noel, and Snow, all looking dazed.

"You're all here," she murmured, then frowned. "Except... Serah and Hope. Where are they?"

And then a trio of stars alighted, taking shape. The one closest to her stood first, brushed itself off... a length of hair tied in a side ponytail, the glimmer of the alien light off ornate clothing...

Lightning gasped. "_Serah_!"

Her sister blinked, looked at her, and grinned widely. "Lightning! I'm back!"

Lightning stumbled across the gap between them, her body aching and exhausted from the fight, and embraced her sister with all the ferocity she could manage without her heart. Unable to speak, she just clung to her, glad to feel her warmth and the new strength in her body.

"Okay, okay, we'll have plenty of time for that later!" Serah chuckled and squeezed her back, then let go. "First, we gotta get out of here to the new world!"

_You can't go without me_. Lumina's words echoed in her head, making her uneasy, but she summoned a small smile – all she could manage when void of true emotion. "Yeah," she murmured, giving her ponytail a tug. "Besides, I'm not the one who wants to see you the most."

Serah grinned even wider as she turned to face Snow. The man wasted no time in scooping her up, getting her name out in a choked gasp as he lifted her right off the ground. His eyes shut tight, arms wrapped hard around her body, and she returned it. No one said anything, looking away from them instead.

The other two stars that had alighted became the forms of Dajh, who immediately ran to his father, and...

And Hope. And not as a child.

He appeared as she had glimpsed him during her war in Valhalla: tall, thin, but with strong eyes and a stern face, sitting up from where he had landed on the rock on his back. He shook his head, looking confused, but moved his legs under him, crawled to his hands and knees, and managed to stand. Vanille moved away from the others to his side, staring at him until he turned to face her.

As both were backlit by the golden light, she couldn't make out their expressions, but she didn't need to, as he only took a few moments longer before grasping both of her hands tightly. After a few seconds of this, he turned to look at her and called her name.

"Hope," she murmured, "it's good to see you back."

"What, that's all?" He placed both hands on his hips. "Nothing else?"

She gave him a small smile. "Later, Hope. Later." She felt something tug at her heart as she watched Serah and Snow draw back from their enthusiastic embrace at last, and her smile faded as she turned away to look back at the whirlwind of chaos around them.

"Lightning," her companion said to her, in a voice just loud enough to hear, "look."

She came over to his side, drawn by the concern in his voice, and looked down. Over the edge of the island, deep within the chaos, she saw Bhunivelze's eyes glowing and energy blazing around him as he carved a path through the chaos toward them. The warmth drained out of her. Like his mother before him, he had enough strength to claw his way out, and now, from the evil in his eyes, he sought vengeance.

"It is not enough," Caius said quietly. "We must bind him in the darkness. You must go on to the new world."

She shivered. "You'll spend the rest of eternity fighting him, holding him back."

He looked at her. "What is one more endless war?"

Her chest tightened. Even now, at the end of the world, Caius still wouldn't get to rest from war. It was what he was made for, all he had known for far too long. It was fitting, then, that he should fight endlessly against the false god to protect the new world. If Mwynn could not arise, still restrained in the darkness, then he and the Yeuls would need to take her place and act in her stead. He would fight, and _she_ would live.

She touched his shoulder. "Thank you."

Caius's eyes were thick with emotion, but he spoke none of it. He wanted to. She saw it. She _felt_ it in the rawness of his chaotic heart, still able to be felt even through the swirling, whispering darkness around them. Whatever it was he wished to say would remain unspoken. Forever.

And curiosity about what he wished to say would wreck her mind if she let it.

Lightning backed up, unable to tear her eyes from his as he watched her over his shoulder. Soon, the world would finish its long descent into destruction, and they would break out into a new world. Caius and the Yeuls would never be forgotten. She would make sure of that, one way or another. She would travel to the new world, without her heart, but perhaps, in the end, it was best to leave it behind.

"You didn't _really_ think you'd be able to leave without me, did you?"

Lightning started, stumbling in her shock, but as she looked around, searching for the source of the voice, she felt something cold take her wrists and ankles. The world of chaos disappeared; she kicked and struggled and demanded release, but the embrace of shadow, accompanied by Lumina's soft giggles, dragged her down into pitch blackness.

* * *

_We are very near the end now. Not much to say about this chapter this time around, as I'm happy with how it turned out, and I hope you enjoyed it! As an aside, I did use tensai-shoujo's translations again in this chapter. All the thanks to her for taking the time to do them way back when._

_I also fixed a continuity error in chapter 44. Thanks to Beio53 for pointing it out!_


	48. The Battle Within

_**47 The Battle Within**_

There had been many times throughout his incredibly long lifespan that Caius had felt as though someone had torn his heart out. Never had he gotten used to seeing Yeul die, for one. No matter how many times he had needed to watch her lifeless body crumple to the ground, it had never stopped hurting. The pain had merely dulled, but each had been as awful as the one before it, and every one thereafter. Then had come watching the world fall apart because of his foolishness, and his heart had hurt continuously, ever since the day he realized his plans had failed and he had brought a doom upon the world he did not foresee.

But to see Lightning snatched away by the chaos and hear Lumina's chilling laughter was like ripping his very _soul_ out of him and crushing it.

Of every person who deserved to go on to the new world, _she_ was the one who needed it most. _She_ was the one who should travel on to the new world and be happy after everything he had done to ruin her. After every scar he had left and life he had taken, taunting her and tormenting her and destroying her future, _she had to go_. She needed rest, she needed peace, she needed _love_.

For the chaos to devour her _now_, on the eve of her freedom, destroyed him.

Her name burst from his lips as though the sound and ferocity alone would be enough to drag her back, but she did not reappear, winking out into giggling shadows only a short distance from him. There was not enough time, even when he lunged, to catch her. All that slid through his fingers when he reached out were shadows, disappearing into the void just as he got close enough.

A vise clamped his chest so tight that he couldn't breathe.

But he didn't need to think about his next move. It would be the same as it had been when he had pulled her out of the Sea of Chaos, or protected her in the illusionary worlds they had traveled through.

He turned without hesitation to the maelstrom below.

If he did not act quickly, she would be lost.

But something seized him before he could leap. It snared his limbs in powerful chains, yanked him back, bringing him down onto the rock with such force that it knocked the wind out of him. Chaos slithered over his body, touching him with gentle brushes of shadow, but holding him down too hard for him to move.

"No, you must stop," the voices of the Yeuls told him, echoing. "Your time with her is finished."

Momentarily dazed, he blinked, shook his head, and turned his body over to stagger back to his feet when her grip slid away from around his body. "Yeul," he hissed, anger bubbling up inside him, "let me go. I must save her before she is lost to the chaos forever."

"You cannot, my Guardian," one distinct voice said to him. "Another will go in your stead. You must remain."

"Yeul, let me _go_. I am the only one who _can_."

"You are not. Hope can also save her."

The feeling of anger, of bitterness, of self-hate, of _grief_ that overcame him almost overpowered him. He looked up at the man in question, who still stood beside Vanille, but though his expression was unnerved and he did not move, his eyes studied Caius with an understanding he did not share.

"Hope, you must go." Yeul sounded more desperate, still swirling around them without form. "Save Lightning."

Hope frowned, but still did not move.

"Yeul, I _am_ your Guardian," Caius told her. "Long ago, I made a promise: that I would protect you, shield you, from the dangers of the world. Then, I made another promise: to save you from your fate. I have fulfilled both. But to Lightning, I made another: to remain in her service until she needed me no more. _She needs me now_."

"No, my Guardian. You will not. You_ cannot_."

The rage burst out of him before he could restrain it, brought on by centuries of grief and exhaustion and guilt and pain, suffering within the walls of the temple, as he stood on the precipice of a fate he could no longer gaze upon with indifference. He had held it back far too long, hiding it from these young girls in an attempt to keep them from grieving further or feeling deeper guilt. Now, he no longer cared. "Yeul, _let me go to her_!"

The chaos inhabited by the girls he so loved recoiled. The chains wrapped around his chest suddenly slipped away. An awful sound like the rending of stone split the air; he caught a glimpse of blue-white crystal shards sparkling in the air before he turned and dove off into the abyss.

* * *

Lightning stirred very slowly from grogginess so thick, it rested upon her like a warm blanket. She lay on something hard and cold, silence surrounding her. Groaning, she moved her hands under her torso and pushed herself up to a kneeling position. The shadows were thick at first, but as her eyes adjusted and she blinked the fog away, it took form. She had returned to the dais Lumina had often taken her to, the darkened form of Etro's throne a short distance away. All around, beyond the dais, was pitch blackness.

Bewildered at her surroundings, she rubbed at her arms, encouraging warmth to come back to her flesh. The burns on her arm were still present, but even now, they still did not hurt, and when she looked at them, it seemed that they had healed, however small an amount.

It took a moment to realize someone stood a few feet in front of her. When she raised her head, she followed a line of long, narrow legs to an ornate outfit of many colors and tiny gems.

"S..." She frowned. "Serah?"

"No, not the Serah you know. Not the one you freed." The duplicate of Serah smiled at her, but her eyes did not, gazing back as cold as though shaped from ice. "Don't you remember? You got dragged away by the chaos and dropped in here because you didn't want to go without your emotions, and she was up there. It can't be me because I'm missing something important. Something that makes me who I am, just like you are."

Lightning gritted her teeth. "You're the one Bhunivelze made." The duplicate nodded. "Look, I don't care what you're up to, I'm leaving."

"But if you go without your heart, what good are you to Serah or anyone else?" The duplicate clasped her hands behind her back, turned, and walked a few steps closer to the throne. "You can't love without it, can't feel anything... you're a hollow shell, just like Bhunivelze."

"Yeah, you're right. Bhunivelze cut part of me away, but it doesn't matter. My emotions have only ever dragged me down or ruined my life, and if I'm going to make a new future, I don't need them." The lies slithered through her teeth and felt like a knife in her soul, but it was the only thing she could think to do.

"Oh, Lightning. Don't you _want_ Lumina?"

The next protest died on her tongue. Lightning stared curiously at the duplicate, who still stood with her back to her, gazing at the throne. What did Lumina have to do with this? Yeul had said the girl had been formed by her heart, but that had not given her much of a clue as to Lumina's actual existence or purpose.

"Lumina?" she murmured. "What do you mean?"

The girl in question materialized in front of her, between her and the duplicate Serah. She bent at the waist and leaned on her knees. "You still haven't figured out who I am?" she said. "C'mon, I gave you so many hints. I can't believe you don't have a clue yet. You're not stupid or anything, so why didn't you get it?"

Lightning studied her a long moment. "Then tell me."

Lumina shook her head. "Don't you remember? You tried to kill me."

Lightning frowned, considering what she and the duplicate had said, before she saw the raw anxiety in the girl's large blue eyes. The only conclusion that made sense, that fit with her appearance and everything she had said, finally crawled into her mind. Her eyes widened. "You're _me_, aren't you? My heart, cast into the chaos. You're the part of me that's been cut and thrown away by Bhunivelze."

Lumina straightened, hands on her hips now. "No, no, _no_, not _him_. He only took out a piece _you_ already cut away. _You_ were the one who made it easy for him."

"Don't you remember the day Lumina was born?" The duplicate Serah turned and took a few steps to her left so that she could be seen fully. When she raised a hand, the chaos gathered into shapes beside her. The whispers grew louder; Lightning turned her head to look at them. The same image from her dream world of Bodhum could be seen, without the living room – two pink-haired girls, shouting at each other in raised voices, before the taller one whirled on her heel and ran, leaving the smaller one behind.

"You ran into your room and cried for hours after your mother died. _That_ was when you made Lumina. You cut your own heart out and resolved to become 'Lightning' instead of Claire Farron." The duplicate Serah smiled again, her eyes still cold as ice. "She's been crying out ever since, but no one could hear her. Lightning wouldn't let her be heard, or seen, or held. No one could reach her. No one could be allowed to care."

"This is getting us nowhere." The sight of her past self sobbing and the words the duplicate spoke sent spikes of distant fear through her blood. That was what she couldn't bear to go back to, what she couldn't _stand_ to think she had once done. "Look at what happened because I had emotions," she snarled as the image disappeared. "Look at everything I did _since_ that ended in disaster because I let them exist. They serve no purpose."

"You make it sound _normal_ to cut away _parts_ of yourself." The duplicate's smile vanished, replaced by a hard scowl that made her skin crawl. Lumina looked sadly at her. "Let me put it another way, one you'll get: you don't take Lumina back, _you_ don't leave."

Lightning faltered. Lumina anchored her to the world of the chaos. She couldn't go incomplete. Though she thought it best to leave her broken, childish emotions behind, she was not being given the choice. She either went as herself, her heart intact, or she stayed here to be devoured by chaos.

"Lumina _is_ Claire Farron. All her selfishness, loneliness, fear. Everything you purged because you couldn't accept the little parts of you that aren't so pretty. And you're afraid to take her back."

She licked her lips. "I don't need her. I _don't_."

"Because if you do, you know that you'll finally know what it was that plagued you in Yusnaan. You'll be able to put a name to that which has been building inside you for so long, that knot in your stomach, that warmth in your blood, every single time Caius so much as looks at you."

Lightning felt as though someone had punched her in the gut and knocked the wind out of her. The realization that crashed over her like a Bodhum wave made her bones turn to ice.

"No, it's not... it's not like that," she choked out. "It's... no. _No_. Caius will always be in my memories, but... he doesn't affect– it doesn't matter if he– he–"

"You cut her out so no one could ever make you cry again," the duplicate interrupted her. "You know that if you take her back, you'll understand. You'll see why Noel said the pain of knowing Yeul is worth it to him. So much will rush back, and you will _see_. And when it's time for him to go away forever, you'll be left with a thousand memories, and you'll be hurting so much because of them that you'll be like a child again."

"And, you know, you ruined every one of my plans," Lumina said. "All I wanted to do was get payback for what he did. I wanted to _destroy_ him, rip him apart and make him suffer for everything he did. I _hated_ him so much, because _you_ did when you went into the crystal."

Lightning found her voice again. "Is that... why you... told me to bring him along?"

"Yeah." Lumina looked at the ground. "And you ruined it. When I tried to hurt him, sometimes you'd play along, then _that_ stopped happening. You forgave him. You stopped being angry. And without your heart, you couldn't feel what you did when you crystallized, anyway. You ruined _everything _I wanted to do, and then, you changed."

Lightning swallowed. "Well, I'm... glad I sunk your plans."

"So." The Serah duplicate raised an eyebrow. "Will you take Lumina and go home?"

Lightning hesitated. The memory of everything that had happened cascaded over her like a waterfall. She thought all the way back to the start, when she and her party fought side by side. She had been so close to accepting herself again, but had held back even then for the sake of the future, even before being taken away to Valhalla. When she had fought her endless war, she'd closed herself off to protect herself from Caius's cruelty.

And now, with her heart carved out by her own hand...

She wanted to go _home_. The desire to be with her family again, to be with Serah and see her laugh and smile, watch her develop her future with Snow and all the others, was a powerful one. But if that meant taking back the part of her that had sent her cowering under her covers, sobbing out the pieces of herself at the loss enveloping her at their mother's death, she couldn't bear it. The very thought of retaking the ugly parts of her that crippled her in her worst moments, the parts that couldn't ever decide what she felt and when, horrified her.

Her heart pounded in her chest. They had to be lying. There was no way she was going to be left in the chaos to rot away like all the others. They couldn't do that to her. Incomplete or not, she _had_ to go the new world, and she tried to convince herself none of it was true. It _couldn't_ be true.

"I'm leaving without you, Lumina," she stated. "I'm not gonna take on my darkness just because you don't wanna be left alone. You can't keep me here in the chaos."

"There's darkness in your heart, sure, but there's light, too. Every human can be good or evil. You just have to be strong enough to choose one or the other... and you're obviously not." Serah smiled. "Look at you, cowering on the floor, afraid of your own feelings. You look like you belong in the cold embrace of the chaos. You see, no one will ever find you in it. You'll be cut off, separated, left to wander, screaming for eternity for help, and no one will care. No one can hear you when you're drowning in the dark."

A cold feeling came over her body, blood replaced by ice water. She couldn't speak, mouth falling open. It wasn't a lie after all.

"You deserve to be alone."

"Serah?" Lightning hoisted herself to her feet as fast as she could, but the duplicate vanished. Lumina winked out at the same time. A hissing sound began around her, then came the rushing of a great wind. "Lumina, wait! No, please, don't go! Don't leave me here! _Don't leave me here_!"

Then the chaos broke through the barrier that had surrounded the dais, its black, smoky fingers reaching for her, trailing darkness as it slithered through the air. Lightning jerked away as she realized the duplicate had spoken the truth, that the chaos was about to chain her down and rip her apart just like it had started to in the Sea, and there was absolutely nothing she could do about it.

No one could hear her. No one cared. For the first time, she was _truly_ alone.

"No, wait, don't!" Summoning every fiber of emotion she could, she collapsed to her knees, trying to hide away from the darkness that climbed all over her body. "Please! _Please_!" She cried out with all the force she had, wanting to run, knowing she couldn't.

Cold fingers wrapped around her, pulling on her body, and she bent down, forehead on the cold stone, wrapping her arms over the back of her neck, waiting for the end.

And she screamed, "_I don't wanna be alone_!"

Then, as though someone had switched it off, the rushing stopped dead. Absolute silence followed. Lightning stayed where she was for a long, long time, head still bowed, but she opened her eyes. Expecting to find pitch darkness, she found instead a soft white glow, tinged with gentle blue.

She lifted her head. Shimmering crystal shards hung silent in the air around her.

Slowly, not able to guess what she would find, she pulled herself up into a kneeling position again and looked all around. Only the crystals gave any sort of light, and each one only gave off a little, but with so many, enough light covered the stone dais that she made out the outline of a figure on one knee beside her, just lowering an arm, before his hair caught the light as he turned his head to gaze at her.

"Are you alright?" Caius said to her.

Lightning stared at him, remembering what Lumina and the duplicate Serah had told her. Somehow, Caius held the chaos at bay, and she didn't question it. "Fine," she whispered. "I'm... fine, now."

In the soft glow of the crystals, his features were warm. Calm. But his eyes were fierce, full of emotion, and even in the hollow of the chaos, she felt the fringes of his heart touching her, brushing across her form. He held so much of it back, restraining it within a shell no one could pierce.

But it was cecause he did not wish them to. He guarded his heart, just as she had.

Then another glow appeared, this one tinged gold, but faint; she turned her head to it to see Lumina, glowing, a few feet away from her, standing with her hands clasped together before her. The crystal shards touched her with pools of soft blue-white light, and her face was very, very solemn.

Lightning rose slowly to her feet, hearing Caius do the same behind her, and faced the girl. For a long time, they just stared at one another, eyes meeting in silent understanding. No, she couldn't leave part of herself behind. She _didn't_ want to be alone. If she could avoid the fate of drifting eternally and be with her friends and family again, then she would bear the burdens that would come to her.

"You know what will happen if you take me back," Lumina whispered.

The warrior took a breath, exhaled through her nose, and raised both hands, palms up, toward the girl. "Yeah, I do."

"Can you handle it? Are you ready?"

She opened her mouth, closed it again. There was no need to answer.

Lumina placed her hands in Lightning's. A glow began there, spreading across the girl until she became an orb of light in her palms and crept up her arms, tingling and warm. Gentle. She brought the orb to her chest, pressed it there, let it sink into her flesh. For a few moments, she felt no different than before.

Then her heart fully settled into the hollow left behind by so many years of mistreatment.

Lightning drew in a sharp breath as a rush of emotions cascaded over her. A thousand nameless things suddenly _had_ names. She felt anger, fear, _grief_, too much, too fast, too soon, buckling her knees and bringing her back down to the floor, where she wrapped her arms around herself and bent at the waist, rocking back and forth, struggling to get her emotions back under control.

She was complete. For the first time in far too long, _she was complete_.

She didn't know how long she knelt there, controlling her breathing and calming her pounding heart. Eventually, though, she heard her name spoken from behind her.

The sound of his voice pierced her heart, bringing with it a rush of tangled, confused emotion. There was a twinge of anger there, and the last vestiges of hate that she swept away without any effort. There was gratitude, hope, and a raw, powerful surge of feeling that almost broke her apart.

With great reluctance, she turned her head, finding him kneeling beside her, and looked into his eyes as though she had never seen him before.

And his powerful feelings made sense at last.

"Caius." She didn't stop herself from reaching up, the tips of her fingers brushing across his jaw, and he didn't draw away, didn't stop her, said nothing, only gazed at her. "You came for me. You saved me from the chaos again. You... how did..." She let her hand linger, ashamed of herself for giving in, but the sheer, raw power in her heart could not be contained. "...how did you find me?"

He might have turned his cheek into her touch. _Maybe_. "I swore to protect you."

Something pricked at her eyes. Her throat constricted. Of all the people who could have found her within the prison of chaos she had plunged into, of course he did. Caius Ballad, a warrior of the chaos, her fiercest adversary, the man who had sworn to protect her during these final days, had found and saved her.

"Lightning," he said, "who was she?"

She finally pulled away, looking back at the spot where Lumina had once been. "She was me," she whispered. "My heart. Everything I hated about myself. Without her, I couldn't..." Again, her throat constricted, and the pricking at her eyes became a burn she couldn't ignore. "I wouldn't have been able... to go."

Caius did not speak for a time. When he did, it was without emotion. "Come now. You must return to the field of battle so that you may join the others."

She looked back at him. That which had been burning behind her eyes spilled over, trailing heat down her cheeks. No, no, she couldn't, it was too soon. She wasn't ready to let him go, even though she knew she had to. There was still so much left to do, to say, to sort out. They still had to figure out what they were, what had happened, she still had to _know_ so many things about him...

"I... I know, I know I have to go," she said, sounding pitiful even to her own ears. "Just... not yet."

He frowned. "You will only delay the inevitable. We must leave now."

"No." She shrank away from him. "Not yet."

"Lightning–"

"Not _yet_," she told him, and more tears spilled over, shaming and frightening her. She wasn't the type to cry so openly like this. She _never_ cried like this, with tears spilled purely for selfish reasons. It wasn't in her, wasn't _like_ her, but when she thought of watching him fade away into the darkness, leaving her forever, it clenched her heart and hurt her very soul, for reasons she didn't fully understand. "I'm not ready."

He looked at the floor, closing his eyes. "It was a mistake."

"_What_ was a mistake?"

"Joining you on your journey."

She angrily wiped away her tears, barely catching a sob when it bubbled up from deep inside. It was all wrong for her to cry, a sign of weakness, of selfishness, and she hated herself for it, but she couldn't stop, tears welling up over and over as though she were some frightened child. She bowed her head, covered her face with both hands, and struggled to catch her breath, ashamed, afraid, and scared.

The sound of him breathing in and letting it out drew her attention back to him. "Do you cry for me, Lightning?"

She jerked her head back up, blinking, not trusting herself to speak.

The frown deepened. "Do not waste your tears."

Those words stirred bitterness and anger from deep inside. "Don't waste time on you, don't waste words, don't waste _tears_..." Suddenly, she didn't care as she cried like a fool, the tears streaming down her cheeks as she stared at him. "_Nothing_ I did with you was a waste. I don't regret _any_ of it."

Something flashed through his eyes; he moved in front of her and gripped her shoulders with both hands. "Stop this. You must control yourself and return. The others will not leave without you. You must go to the new world, where you can live free and be at peace at last. You deserve it. You _need_ it." His grip tightened. "Enough of this. You are far stronger than this, and you should not give in to your emotions."

"I know!" she shouted, bowing her head, closing her eyes tight, ashamed to look at him. "I _know_ I have to go back, but if I do, you'll leave! You'll go off into the chaos, and I'll never see you again! Maybe that doesn't make sense to you, but I can't– I don't _want_ to– I can't–" Sobs wracked her body; she grabbed onto them and strangled them with all her might, clasping her hands in her lap, but her shoulders shook. This wasn't supposed to happen. _None_ of this had gone in any way according to plan, and now, here she was, fighting feelings that shouldn't exist for a man she never should have grown close to, someone who was about to leave her forever.

Caius said nothing, still gripping her shoulders, for a long time while she sat there like a fool and struggled with all the willpower she had to stop her sobbing, and failing.

"Lightning," she heard him say, hard and stern, but he stopped.

She waited to see what he would do next, wondering if he would take to forcing her.

The next thing she knew, he wrapped his arms around her shoulders, pulling her comparatively small body against his, where her cheek landed on the armor protecting his collarbone. Her hands drew in tight against her chest while she rested her head, not fighting it, not wanting to, his armor cool and hard on the bare skin of her back. She felt one of his hands on the back of her head, fingers stroking her hair, while the other clung to her waist, holding her up when she felt as though she would shatter to pieces.

"I wish that I could join you." He whispered the words against her hair, very near to her ear. "If I could, I would cast aside everything else and follow you to the new world. I want to see a new future. That is one of the deepest secrets of my heart, and you must tell it to no one else." He held her a little longer before moving to cup her face in both hands, forcing her to look at him. "But while there are many possible futures, we can only ever see one. No matter how much I may wish it to be otherwise, my fate is sealed. I chose it countless centuries ago, and it can never be undone. You knew this already, and still, you wish for more."

His skin felt warm, a little calloused, against her cheeks. She stared into his eyes, knowing then that her companion had been a friend and so much more to her, perhaps by accident, perhaps by design, and that it was the possibilities of the future that broke her heart like it did. She saw in him now not a rival, not her enemy, not the monster who destroyed the world, but just a man, with a heart that raged like the fires of the sun.

The future she saw in his eyes was one that thrilled her, hurt her, and she knew the bond she had forged by accident during these final days was too strong.

When she blinked, more tears slid down her cheeks, and with a sweep of his thumb, he cleared them away. His eyes never wavered from hers, still in turmoil, but she saw the softness, the gentleness, the affection, in them now, and it made her feel warm and safe. Right there, in his arms, inches away from the man who had once attacked her at any opportunity he had, had become the safest place in existence.

They were such beautiful eyes, the color of amethyst crystals, gazing at her the way Snow gazed at Serah, and she knew he, too, had fallen into a trap.

"But," she choked out, "why are you the only one I can't save?"

He tipped his head, hair shining in the light of the crystals, sifting over his shoulder, sending beads clicking softly together. "I built my own prison long ago and trapped myself in it. The chaos is where I belong. I am nothing more than an empty shell, my heart and soul fused with the chaos. There is nothing left to save."

The sadness in his voice hurt more than any physical wound ever could.

"And Yeul will always need me. I have always been all she has." He rose to his feet, taking her hands and encouraging her to stand, before releasing her. The sudden emptiness and coldness resulting from his absence felt raw. She was alone once again. "I cannot simply leave her on her own, as you would not simply leave your sister if she did not have another to stand with her. It is just a fantasy."

As she fought with everything she had, somehow getting her raging and confused emotions back under control, he took a few steps back. Wisps of shadow curled around him, breaking up the lines of his body. She gasped, but he was already fading away, the dais disappearing from underfoot, the crystals the only light in the darkness; she floated in midair, feeling herself being pulled back and up.

Pitiful though she sounded, she didn't care. "No," she whispered, "_please_ don't."

"Your future is not mine. It never was." He kept his eyes on hers; she stared back into them, lit by the crystals, but not for much longer, she knew. The chaos – Yeul – was taking him away, just as she had always known would happen, and there was nothing anyone could do to change it. "Go to your new world."

And then, he vanished into the dark; she surged upward, through the endless parade of blue-white crystals, until she soared out of the maelstrom.

What she saw was enough to tear her thoughts away, however briefly, from the loss, as the chaos tossed her back onto the island; she skidded, rolled over, and stared in awe.

The chaos still swirled around the island, but aside from the rippling checkerboard pattern, a layer of blue-white light now covered everything in a surreal glow. The chaos flowed and surged like a river, as though it had a mind of its own, and she saw Bhunivelze, roaring, sharp teeth glinting, rising out of the shadows, glowing in the light, but in his expression, she saw a facsimile of real fear.

For a moment, she looked away, back at the assembly, and saw that Mog and Dajh had joined the group – the moogle at her sister's side, the little boy at Sazh's.

And all of them were staring, causing her to return her attention to the turmoil

A tendril broke away from the shadows, twisted, trailed crystals, and slammed into Bhunivelze, winding itself around his limbs and stopping him dead. The creature roared and struggled, panicking, clawing at the air, but more tendrils came and seized him, binding him within their grasp. All glowed with the strange crystal energy, wrapping around his head, silencing him; he clawed at them, but they paid no heed.

_Into the chaos with you_, said a voice, ringing from all around. Lightning slowly climbed to her feet, hearing the voice more in her head than anything. It did not speak words, but somehow, she heard it, understood it, and in an instant, she knew what it was. _You have done enough to curse creation. It is time for discipline. Perhaps you will be made whole one day, but it is not this day. You steal no more souls_.

Behind her, Serah gasped. "Lightning... _look_!"

Lightning did so, following the line of her sister's arm as she pointed at the other side of the island. A vortex of smoke alighted on the rock and took shape – that of a woman, though the outline blurred constantly, golden patterns and blue crystal energy rippling across her body. Her eyes glowed purple, like the beasts of the chaos, and every step she landed left trails of smoke. And she _dwarfed_ them, standing incredibly tall, and as she extended a hand, fingers took shape, glittering with more of the crystal energy.

_Your interference ends here, my son. Go and be at peace in your final fantasy_. Tendrils of crystal wrapped around him and plunged him into the darkness. Soon, his roars were silenced.

Frightened, and yet mesmerized, Lightning took a few steps back as Mwynn's eyes turned her direction. They never blinked, and were the only features on her "face". Whatever this being really was, she commanded the chaos with a sweep of her hand, forcing it to withdraw and form a sphere of emptiness around the island, no effort needed, and made no move that seemed even remotely hostile.

_My awakening is complete. I have awaited this day for countless centuries, and now, I have silenced my wayward son at last_. She still spoke in the language Lightning didn't hear, but understood, eyes never leaving the warrior, as she lowered her arm. _You have freed me from my prison of darkness, though you did not mean to. I am sorry for what you had to endure to reach the end of this trial, but it is a worthy future_.

"Does, uh..." It was Sazh who spoke now, sounding awed and confused at the same time. "Um... anyone... _else_... hear her yappin' in my head, or that just me?"

"Nah, I hear it too," said Fang, sounding just as confused. "That who I think it is?"

"Who else _could_ it be?" Sazh muttered. "We saw her on the mural. Doesn't it fit? It's Mwynn herself."

There was a long pause. "But... she died," Vanille mumbled.

_Felled by Bhunivelze long ago in a war for the world, yes_, Mwynn responded. _He tried to take that which is not his, and he failed. Perhaps one day, he will return to his former duties, but until then, he will remain with me. Perhaps it will teach him the lesson he desperately needs_.

Feeling her hands shaking, Lightning rubbed her arms as a chill settled into the air. "So, what now?" she said.

_Now, you will go on to the new world_.

She took a deep breath. "Right," she muttered. "How do we do that, exactly?"

"Yeah, wasn't exactly in a pamphlet," Sazh added. "I mean, I'm sure we can figure it out, but we've got to get out of here before the entire universe collapses. That stuff won't hang out here forever."

Mwynn's form melted away into smoke again and rejoined the chaos. A tendril of shadow, covered in light and trailing crystals, geysered into the air, soaring high toward the heavens. The chaos parted as it rose, and beyond the shroud, Lightning spotted the stars – _real_ stars, not the pinpricks of light Bhunivelze had made.

Up there, the tendril split, a layer of golden light and glittering crystals rapidly expanding. The chaos surged, but crashed against the barrier that had formed and rebounded.

"Well, then." Fang raised an eyebrow when she and Lightning exchanged a look. "That's, uh... handy."

"That _can't_ be possible," was Hope's very flat comment.

"Well, I'd say it is." Vanille gently jabbed her elbow in his ribs. "She just did it."

Lightning almost couldn't process what she saw. Instead of surging out into the cosmos and dooming a million other worlds, the chaos collapsed back into the interior of Gran Pulse, forming a hurricane around the single island of rock that still remained of the physical planet. She couldn't see the world Bhunivelze had built anymore – probably swallowed up, incomplete because of her meddling not giving him time to finish – but it didn't much matter to her what happened to it. It was _nothing_ compared to this.

"Did she just _save_ the _universe_? No, wait..." Fang groaned. "I learned not to question this sorta thing."

"Does it matter?" said Snow. "There might've been other people out there, and now they don't have to suffer the fate of a single world. Well..." He made a face. "...at least, not _this_ world..."

"What's _that_ supposed to mean?"

He only shook his head. "Just somethin'. Forget it."

Fang opened her mouth, but a hush fell over the group as the sound of crumbling rock came to them. Lightning looked all around to see the island cracking apart and tendrils of chaos beginning to curl between it. Noel, who had been silent this entire time, made a sound she could only describe as one of indescribable grief, and when she looked at him, it was just in time to see him run to the edge of their chunk of rock.

"_Don't you even_!" Snow crossed the gap between them with the kind of speed she hadn't seen in years from him and seized the younger man's arms, stopping him cold.

The tendrils of blue-white-coated chaos swirled like the eye of a hurricane a short distance away, then solidified into a pillar of light that pierced the shadows high above. Vanille gave a cry of joy and clapped her hands. Lightning, too, knew what it was. When they stepped into the light, it would carry them away from this darkness to their new world, where they could finally, _finally_ exercise their free will, build their own futures, free of the machinations of those who cared nothing for mankind except as tools.

But then Noel's shout dragged her attention back to him.

It was not until then that she saw what Noel had been so desperate to reach.

On the far side of the island, as it broke apart, the pieces beginning to separate from one another, seemingly standing on nothing, were _dozens_ of Yeuls, all of them distinct from one another in ways ranging from subtle to not, and one of them – the Yeul of Noel's time – stood at the front of them, her large eyes solemn, gazing at him. She was used to the pain of separation, Lightning knew, and it was the only way to fulfill her promise to him.

And beside her, also at the head of the assembly, stood Caius.

Lightning forced herself to stay rooted to the spot, but couldn't tear her eyes away. They were about to be separated forever, and no matter how foolish it was, she _had_ to take him in.

"The chaos will remain here, within the confines of this world. It will be taken from yours and become the New Valhalla. It will be our home, our kingdom, and we will preside within its borders. In Etro's place, we will restrain the chaos, and Mwynn shall be with us." The Yeuls all seemed to be speak as one, but their voices rippled through the chaos, bobbing on the sea as it thrashed all around.

"You can't go with them! _Yeul_!" Now Noel was struggling hard against the bigger man, and for the first time, she understood why he fought so hard. It would give him strength. "_No_! Let go of me! Let–" He tore out of Snow's grip, knocking him back, and began to run toward the girl he loved.

In an instant, Caius vanished from beside the girl and intercepted Noel, catching him by the throat with one hand and forcing him down onto his knees. Though the younger man clawed at the dark warrior's forearm with all his might, it was not enough to resist.

"Your fate is not in the chaos, Noel," the Guardian said, his voice carrying through the chaos, as though he were the only one present. "Do you wish to die to be with her?"

"I'd rather she lived!" Noel shouted hoarsely. "But if I have to give up my life to be with her, so be it! A future without her is none at all, not one I want to know!"

"Your desire for a future with her in it is of no consequence." Caius shoved him back; Noel collapsed on his side on the rock, coughing for a moment and struggling for breath. "You speak the words, but you do not understand what they mean. You claim chivalry and sacrifice, but they have no weight."

Noel faced him, but his body language, even though she couldn't see his face, did not speak of fighting.

"I would die a thousand times for her to live _once_!"

"You speak without the weight of knowledge!" his old mentor shouted at him, each word hard as a hammer blow, causing Noel to visibly shrink back. "You spew words that sound heavy but mean nothing! Do you think you know what it truly means to love and lose? Do you understand what you say?"

Noel stayed where he was, looking back at Caius, as though seeing him for the first time – and perhaps, in some way, he was.

"But I... I just want her to _live_," he said, sounding pitiful. "Why can't she?"

No one else spoke for a long time... and then she saw Caius's features soften. He was too far away for her to read him any better than that, but when he stepped back, allowing Noel to climb back to his feet, she knew the answer before he had even spoken in or done anything more.

The warrior picked up Noel with one hand and gave him a single, hard shove backward, making him stumble, and said, "It is best you are never tested on your words. Begone, Guardian Noel Kreiss, and never let her go again."

Noel straightened, and in his arms, swiftly taking solid shape, was his Yeul.

Lightning watched for a moment as the two stood and gazed at one another as though nothing else mattered, their hands meeting as intensely as their eyes. It was Sazh who broke them up, shooing them toward the light, telling them it was time to go before the entire world collapsed in and took everyone else with it. Noel and Yeul were the first to enter the light, and the first to vanish.

It seemed fitting, somehow.

Mog had been silent up to this point, except for the occasional soft exclamation of "kupo", but when Serah looked at him, he shook his head at her. "I'm staying here, kupo," he told her. "I'm a moogle, and we don't live in the world of men, kupo! The rest of my kind are here, kupo, and I have to find them!"

Serah smiled and rubbed the fur at the top of his head. He made soft trilling sounds. "Maybe... we'll meet again."

Mog touched her with his bobble. "Kupopopo!"

As she drew away, the moogle turned into an orb of light and was carried away on one of the tendrils, as tenderly as though he were a newborn. Though he would be here, in Valhalla, Lightning knew, somehow, that he would be safe. Mwynn would take care of him. The law of the weak serving the strong might still be enforced, but perhaps not as harshly as Etro had done so long ago.

Sazh took Dajh in both hands and lifted him up to sit on his shoulders, grinning from ear to ear, before walking into the light, the boy making sounds of wonderment instead of fear as they faded away. Dajh was brave, far braver than anyone, even his father, gave him credit for. He would grow up strong and courageous, she knew, and enjoy a long and full life on the soil of the new world.

She watched as Vanille followed, tugging Hope by his wrist and grinning widely, but he didn't seem to mind, _almost_ breaking out into a real smile when he stumbled after her.

The last thing she heard before they vanished was Vanille's laughter, clear and soft as summer rain.

Fang and Snow were the last besides she and her sister, standing beside each other with their hands on their hips and giving each other exactly the same look. "So, tough guy," she muttered, "you gonna go into the scary thing, or do I have to push you in? You know I will."

"Hey, now, I'm not leaving without Serah," he told her. "I didn't come all this way to do that."

"Huh, whatever. I don't see her movin'."

Lightning looked at Serah to see that she indeed had not yet moved and was looking back at her. "You two go on, and I'll be... _we'll_ be right behind you," her sister murmured. "I kind of want to... well." She looked at Snow long enough to smile. "I'll tell you when we get there. Go on. I'll find you."

Snow hesitated. "Are you..."

"Snow, please. I promise I'll find you, no matter where you go."

The man looked uncertain, but he nodded and turned, shoulders back and head high. He and Fang strode into the light together, vanishing at almost the same time. Lightning saw two stars soared into the sky, vanishing beyond the clouds of chaos and the shimmering golden barrier Mwynn had formed–

_Mwynn_.

Lightning gasped and turned, relieved to see that Caius had not moved. She looked at him in time to see him gazing at her, but he turned away when she tried to meet his eyes. A foolish hope overwhelmed her; she moved toward him a few steps, heedless of the crumbling rock beneath her feet or the fact that the pieces were being pulled away from one another. It was her _final_ hope.

"Caius!" she shouted above the roaring din of the chaos. "Come with us!"

He stopped dead after only a few steps. Pulse erratic in her chest, she felt her breath quicken. There was hope. There was _hope_ where there had never been before, but when he turned to look at her, features dim in the darkness, she felt that hope suddenly begin to choke on the expression she saw on his face.

"Mwynn is here," she panted. "Yeul won't be alone, _Mwynn_ can take your place, she can– she– _you don't have to stay here_! Yeul can let you go! You can come with us!"

For a very long time, Caius simply stood there, the winds of the chaos blowing his hair around his shoulders, the deepening darkness beginning to hide the details of him from her. He stood straight and tall, shoulders back, chin up, in the stance of a proud warrior countless centuries old. That same stance had been seen by her before – on the shore of Valhalla preparing for war, turning her away in the temple when she tried to help him, or when he simply waited in silence as the consequences of his actions unfolded around him.

"That is a vain hope, Lightning," he said, "and you, of all people, should know that to be the truth."

The tears once again burned her eyes. "But... you _can't_..."

"Mwynn is not me." His voice softened, traveling on the wind to her as gently as though he reached out for her physically, caressing her heart, breaking it open. "I am the one who has stood here for centuries beside Yeul. I am all she knows, and I would never leave her when she still needs me. She is just a child. The one who has cared for her the longest is the one who must be with her now. She will always need me, just as your family needs you."

The warrior felt as though someone had gouged out her heart and crushed it, then beat her down until she fell on her knees and cried like a child, ashamed she had even hoped for such an end, but knowing, in desperation, that she would have clung to _any_ small hope at all.

It was the possibilities of the future that tormented her, the realization that he had touched her in ways no one else had, reached her heart when she hadn't meant for such a thing to happen, and she wanted to know. She wanted him with her, needed him, even if it ended in pain and failure, but it was not to be. There was no choice. Reality had come and swept away all her hopes, crushing them again, leaving her alone.

_There are many possible futures, but we can only ever witness one_.

"But..." And she spoke her most treacherous words. "..._I_ do."

He did not respond. Did not need to.

She felt her sister take her wrist. "Lightning," she whispered, "it's time."

She didn't resist as Serah drew her backward, away from the only thing she left behind in the dying world. Brighter grew the glow of the pillar of light. The chaos swept over him, consuming him and the other Yeuls in a maelstrom of darkness that cracked her heart in two. The tears fell freely now, but silently, as the light engulfed her. The chaotic realm of pain and darkness and death vanished as the light washed it out. Her feet left solid ground. She soared into the sky, out of the chaos, past the golden barrier, to freedom.

Before she faded away completely, she reached into her satchel and pulled out the tiny flower he had given her days ago. It was shriveled and brown. Dead. Her fingers closed around it, crushing it inside her palm, but holding on to it, even though there wasn't a point anymore.

The New Valhalla collapsed in upon itself, and where Gran Pulse had once been, there was now only dust.

* * *

_And here we have it, the final full chapter of the story. All that remains now is the epilogue, where I finish wrapping up neat as I can. I've been nursing this chapter for several weeks, trying to make sure it was up to par, and I hope that I succeeded and it was worth the wait. The chapter title references the tagline of the first game, by the way. It seemed fitting. I also used bits of tensai-shoujo's translations again here, also. I plan to release the epilogue by the weekend, and then it'll finally be over. Thanks to everyone reading and commenting, and I hope all of you enjoyed this one as much as I did writing it._


	49. Epilogue: Dawn

**_Epilogue: Dawn_**

From deep inside the swirling chaos, Caius Ballad watched as the last two souls – the ones that mattered most to him, the ones he most wished to see at peace – vanished from his new world. Pitch darkness followed their ascent, except for a scattering of glittering crystals all around. The roaring of the chaotic winds continued, the world still crumbling in on itself. He felt the rock beneath his feet begin to come apart; he looked down to see chaos seeping through his body, shadowy tendrils twisting in the air.

It was done. After countless centuries of planning and waiting, it was _done_.

He had not been able to speak his deepest heart to Lightning, but what he _had_ said, he knew she had understood.

Perhaps she did not return it. And perhaps that was best.

When he lowered his chin, he felt something behind his eyes – a warmth and pressure he had not known for a very long time, and it escaped enough to run tracks of heat across his skin before he swiped them away, hoping that Yeul had not seen them. Of course she would know of them, as he would not be able to hide everything from her now, but he wanted to retain what dignity he still had.

Inside, he had shattered to pieces, heart broken in ways he had never known before, but he kept a neutral expression on his face, for Yeul's sake. Many of them would hurt enough already, knowing that he could not escape this end. It would do no good to burden them furtherby allowing his face to expose his unhappy thoughts.

At least he had gotten one last chance to see her, if only to torment himself with thoughts of futures long destroyed. At least he had been able to say goodbye to her.

The crystals hung in the air, casting a cold blue-white light on his surroundings. Mwynn was still in the chaos, her existence mingling with the shadows. She would be here, always, reprimanding and remolding her son while tending to the chaos in ways he and Yeul could not. Her great power would keep the world safe from the machinations of false gods. For the first time, mankind was truly free to make their own choices.

It was time to go to his new future.

Yet something kept him rooted to the spot. Though he knew it was time to release his weary body and become one with the chaos forever, through sheer force of will, or determination, or pure stubbornness, he kept his solid form and continued to stare into the darkness above him.

Two millennia of solitude, enforced by his position as a Guardian, had created within him a treacherous sensation of loneliness. A flickering flame of pointless hope to see her again still burned within him. For a short few days, at her side, the loneliness had been kept at bay, and now it returned, black and raw, surging into the void left in her absence – a familiar, creeping, serpentine companion that dripped poison into his mind.

"My Guardian."

Caius lifted his chin again and turned to her.

The Yeul of War was the one who spoke, moving closer with slow and hesitant steps, but her eyes were clear and focused. She came up to him, hands at her sides.

He faced her fully, awaiting her next command. He would begin his eternity as her Guardian now and accept the fate he had given himself. Whatever she wished would be what he would do.

But something else came out of her, a straightforward question he didn't quite expect.

"Does your soul still yearn to follow her?"

He studied her with a heavy heart. Of course she had heard him speaking to Lightning. He had hoped they would be alone, but even in the hollow of her heart, his charge had heard the traitorous words fall from his mouth and betray his true intentions. Hidden from her that had been for so long. Now, they were laid bare. "My duty is here," he told her. "My desires no longer have meaning."

"Caius..." She moved closer, raising her clasped hands, never veering from his eyes. "That is not what I asked. I only desire the truth." When he only kept gazing at her, she tilted her head. An expression of sadness tinged with guilt – something that clenched his heart – reached her face. "You will not tell me. You will never speak the whole truth. That is how you are. Once more, you cast aside your wants, for my sake."

He felt too weary to argue. "It does not matter."

"I have been watching," she continued, lacing her fingers together. "I have seen you with her, listened to the words you spoke to her, felt the way your heart reached out for her. I am no longer the brightest light in your heart. I don't doubt your love, my Guardian, and yet..." Then her chin fell to her chest, hands gripping each other. "No matter how long I keep you here," she continued in a soft voice, "or what I do for you, you will never love me as I wish to be. All of us could be at your side, loving you and watching over you, and you would still be lonely. Your hands would be empty, even if we took them in our own and stayed always. The guilt would remain, and the longing in your heart would consume you. There would never be any rest. After all these centuries, you carry a weary soul. You desire rest from war, and yet, you never take it."

Not comprehending, he only stared at her.

"You sought _death_. You stayed with us as the world died, then skewered your own body to escape, and yet, you could not. We would not allow you death, nor would we release you to life. We chained you to us, for we needed you more than life, because..." She trailed off, looking into his eyes. "...you are precious, and all we love."

The heavy burdens laced through her words felt like daggers in his heart; he kept his eyes on hers only with great effort, and even then, he felt his neutral expression begin to waver.

"But I am the last of us to keep you. Our despair in watching your heart drift away is what allowed Mwynn to be free." Lifting her head, she smiled at him, but it was the saddest smile he had ever seen. Her voice wavered, as though she had to summon the will to speak at all. "You love us, but your soul cries out for _her_. Even if it brings you agony, you hope for a future you have only ever glimpsed. You would stay from honor and love, but would always be in pain. We have seen you suffer too long. And I..." Her smile widened, growing even more solemn than before. "...it would be cruel of _me_ to keep you here."

His head swam as realization broke over him.

"I want you to stay," she choked out, eyes glistening in the crystals' light. Then she blinked, and what had been was no more. "More than _anything_. I have suffered countless partings, again and again. All I have _ever_ wanted is to be with you, and yet... you do not wish the same. Not anymore."

Caius shook his head, trying to clear it, but the roaring of the chaos drowned out his thoughts. The understanding of what she had said devoured his mind.

"But Mwynn is with us. She _will_ be with us." Her eyes seemed to shine again. "All of us who loved you will hurt. You are all many of us have ever known, and we have always been safe within your love. Many do not wish to let you go. Our hearts will long for you always. Yet, what is our love worth if we keep you trapped in a prison you were willing to _die_ to escape? If even your love for us could not keep you anchored, then what good is any of this? What do any of us gain from hurting you?"

Unable to speak, tongue tangling in his mouth, he warred within himself, struggling to comprehend, and he did, and did not, and wanted to argue, wanted to fight, the guilt bubbling up and clawing at his mind, _demanding_ that he turn her down, that he tell her he wished to remain...

But... they were all lies, and she would know that. She _already_ knew, else she would not extend her hand like this.

"You do not _want_ to stay. So we will not _make_ you."

Something settled over him then, silencing his inner turmoil. Against all the odds, just because his heart yearned for a woman he had once called his enemy, a beautiful warrior who deserved peace and certainly not him, Yeul would free him from his prison of darkness. His yearning for the beautiful warrior could very well turn out for naught, but he wanted to try, because he was a fool with a fiery heart, and if he could have even a _chance_ to see if she felt the same, he would take it.

"Yeul, I..." He took a deep breath. "...I have loved every one of you, individually and uniquely. No matter how much the pain of separation, know this to be true." For the last time, he lowered himself to one knee before her with his head bowed in reverence, befitting her position as seeress. "I would never depart if you were to be left alone. Even now, I would stay if you asked it of me."

The chaos peeled back, revealing every Yeul he had ever known and even some he never had; he let his eyes rove over them, entire body trembling. He would never have left them alone, as they knew already, but if they could be safe with Mog, and Mwynn, and each other, and they could release him with a guiltless conscience...

For the first time in millennia, hope rose up within him.

"Do not think we make this decision lightly," the many Yeuls said around him. "Our decision was made over days, through many arguments, despair, and hope. For us to come to consensus was no easy task, and yet we have been unified by our desire to see you safe. We could no longer bear to see you suffer, not when your heart is no longer with ours. Your memory will be with us instead, and we will grow."

He felt himself falter as claws wrapped around his heart and squeezed. "And yet, if I leave, you are here without me, for the first time in far too long."

The Yeul of War tipped his chin up. "That is no longer your concern. We belong here, and you do not. Of course you may choose to stay if you wish. That _is_ within your right. But you also have a choice to _go_."

"I do not deserve that future," he told her.

"But you desire it, Caius."

The claws slowly slid away. He would never win with guilt and lies. Yeul's decision had already been made, and if he remained behind, regret would gnaw away at him. The thought of "what could be" would torment him until the end of time. There were no more earnest objections to her gift that he could offer any longer.

"Yes," he said. "I do."

"Then I ask again, Caius Ballad, my Guardian. Do you still wish to follow her?"

He almost lied. He _almost_ did. But in the end, he could not.

"With all my heart."

Her expression cracked into one so full of pain, guilt, sadness, and hope that it almost made him take the words back, but he restrained himself. Instead, he gazed at her, seeing her now as he had seen her so long ago – the oldest of the Yeuls, the one who had nursed inappropriate feelings for her Guardian for a very long time. Even now, he saw that same love in her eyes.

The love he felt for her was not the same kind, but it was just as strong.

Still kneeling, he extended a hand and allowed her to wrap her arms around his neck as she had done when she was small. Neither spoke. They knew it would be their last meeting.

She took it for what it was, a few moments spent resting her face in his shoulder, before she stepped back, hands staying on his shoulders.

"Farewell, Caius Ballad," she whispered. She moved a hand rest it on his chest, and under it, a brilliant light began to flare, bright as a star. He felt as though a great burden had been lifted off him, his blood flooding with warmth and light; his vision left him, but he heard her voice clearly as she spoke her final words.

"Find the one whom your soul loves."

The New Valhalla and swirling clouds of darkness vanished in a wink of light, and he knew nothing but peace.

* * *

It had been two years to the day since Lightning and the other survivors of the old world had made their way to the new one. No one had really questioned where they had ended up, only finding that it was somewhat similar to the old world and flush with life. Within those two years, they had built communities in the mountains, along rivers, in meadows, in high deserts, spreading out across the world and making new homes for themselves.

Though they had been scattered around a somewhat large region of mountains and forests upon arrival, they found each other fairly quickly, whether by coincidence or design.

Beneath the new sky, they began anew.

One of the communities was a small town at the foot of a mountain in a temperate part of the world, resembling Bodhum in some ways. This was where Lightning and her small family – her sister, and her brother-in-law – lived out their days. Beyond this region, other people lived, with more advanced cultures, and had helped through trading to provide in ways that meant the survivors wouldn't start _completely_ from nothing. Most enjoyed working, though, and Lightning did, too.

Slowly, beneath a new sky and alien sun, they adjusted. The survivors broke up and moved away, and Lightning stayed with her family in a two-story home just big enough for the three of them. A rail system linked several cities in the region, and the town had been built near it, even constructing a station. Politics and economics soon came into the mix, but that was left to _others_ to smooth over.

She wasn't a politician. She spent her time guarding the town from the local wildlife or helping hunt. She tended to her sister's growing family – one child with another on the way – when she wasn't working. In this world, she had a straightforward and eventful life, and she was happy.

The house always needed something done to it, anyway – an improvement when new materials made it to the town, or a fix when a heavy storm came through. Besides, it helped her earn her keep, and she had even begun a fund to move out of the place – it would soon be crowded, and Snow usually, if good-naturedly, complained about "too many Farron women" within its walls.

But today, she wasn't working on the Villiers home. She road a train out of their town to a neighboring one out in the plains, where descendants of the Wildlands natives now lived. Among sprawling meadows, sunny woods, sweet-smelling breezes, and beneath the impassive faces of massive snow-tipped mountains, the plains-dwellers had carved out an exciting existence as a center of the animal product trade in the region, and had tamed the land enough to till many acres of it for various foods from the earth.

And she wasn't alone. Today, Snow and her sister traveled with her. Sazh, who lived in the same town with his son, traveled to see his friend – who happened to be a _woman_, and a very _good_ friend at that, which everyone teased him about – in the plains. It was the place where the survivors gathered, every years on the anniversary, to celebrate their arrival in the new world with festivities and fireworks that went on long into the night.

There, they couldn't disturb nearby towns or cities, surrounded as they were by open plains and towering mountains, and there was plenty of room to spread out.

And there, they could remember all those who had not made it.

"So, when we gonna move?" Dajh, now eight, had become a bit more eloquent and much more curious. He still loved his father dearly, but now his sense of individuality had really begun to sprout, and instead of sitting quietly, he stood on the seat to look out the window at the passing scenery.

"Dajh, sit down so you don't get hurt," Serah told him.

"Now, now, he's fine." Sazh patted his son's back. "I'm hopin' soon, Dajh. You really like it out there, huh?"

"Yeah!" The boy nodded. "Lots of things to see! And food!"

Serah made a dreamy sound as she settled back into her seat, embracing her belly with both arms. It had begun to swell with the second Villiers-Farron child – another daughter, both to Snow's excitement and dismay, as she often teased her husband about "drowning in estrogen". "They had some amazing barbecue ribs," she sighed, rubbing her hands on her thighs. "Snow, we're getting some."

Her husband, sitting beside her, put on a look of longsuffering and patted her shoulder. He put up with both her mood swings and voracious appetite without complaint, despite the occasional sigh of irritation or a scowl when he thought no one was looking. "Yep," he said in the blandest possible tone.

"Can't you be a _little_ more excited? We're gonna celebrate. Be happy!"

Lightning swallowed her chuckle as Snow just patted her shoulder again, ignoring her snippy tone. "Yep."

Sazh made a show of examining his gloves. "Should be lots of fun."

As the train rolled into the station, she clenched one hand into a fist and pressed it to her breastbone. Someone else awaited her here besides Fang, Vanille, Noel, Yeul, and Hope, all of whom came down from their homes even further away in other climates – Fang and Vanille in a drier area, Noel and Yeul from a more humid place further away toward one of the larger towns, and Hope from the heart of a bustling city – and she hadn't seen him in a good week or so, which didn't help her anxiety. He called this town his home, most comfortable in the open spaces and wild winds of the plains instead of the bustle of the cities.

The train slowed to a halt. An announcement called for an "orderly dispersal", and the group stood, picking up what small amount of belongings they had brought. The train was quite full, forcing everyone to stand in the aisle while others grabbed their luggage or climbed slowly out of their seats.

"Will there be chocobos?" Dajh cried.

"Yeah, there'll be chocobos." Sazh rubbed his son's head. "Just sit tight, you hear?"

Chocobos also existed on this world, though they looked very different from the ones of Gran Pulse. They were smaller, for one, and were certainly omnivores, eating small mammals in addition to greens. That said, they were the same sunny yellow color, with large dark eyes and big, clawed feet, happy to carry a rider, squeaking in excitement whenever someone scratched them where they couldn't reach.

But her mind didn't stay on the chocobos. The longer she stood in the aisle, the more nervous she became. Her relationship with this man had been tumultuous at the best of times as they had approached each other slowly and with hesitation, feeling each other out. Thirteen months ago, he had been returned to her, causing no small amount of confusion and, with the most narrow-minded survivors, even strife. During those months, they had developed their friendship even more until it deepened on its own, going back to the strong feelings they had shared during what had been intended to be their last goodbye.

And a night on the town had ended in a passionate kiss.

Everything had gone downhill for a time. They had argued over it, confused and conflicted, even fought over the smallest things. There had been at least one slammed door, her crying in frustration, him running away like a coward, but then it had worked itself out and they had come back, realizing that the future they desired involved one another. He had been returned to her _because_ of his feelings for her – what good was it to ignore the truth, when it was her own strong feelings for this man that kept her up at night?

They were still working on _how_ to approach the future. But they were doing it together.

Finally, they began to shuffle down the aisle. Dajh hummed a song about chocobos from very long ago, one that had once echoed through the halls of Nautilus, in the old world. Serah talked softly to Snow. Lightning stood between the two groups, alone, but not for much longer.

She craned her neck, looking out the windows, thinking she caught a glimpse of violet.

"Don't worry, he'll be there," Sazh assured her in a gentle voice. She heard the smile in it, and it helped ease her nerves a little. "He always is. He wouldn't miss seeing you for anything."

Her lips quirked. "Yeah... I know. I just..."

"Can't wait to see _him_."

It embarrassed her to know everyone around her seemed to know of and recognize their relationship and what it had become, but in its own way, it _was_ legendary, and they hadn't exactly done much to hide it. At one time, she had tried to do so, but in the end had given up and given in.

So, she smiled. "Yeah. Exactly."

After an excruciating eternity of waiting, she finally stepped down onto the platform. A fresh mountain breeze and warm sunlight touched her skin; she breathed in the scent of earth and vegetation. It didn't smell like the old world, but it was just as clean and clear and pure. Just as wonderful.

"'Bought time you all showed up." Fang's voice cut through the din of the platform with ease. Dressed in simple clothes and still bearing her old lance on her back – polished and prettied up, of course – she shouldered through the crowd and grasped Snow's hand. "Hey, you kept _busy_, huh?"

Snow, immune to double entendres of the Yun sort, only raised both eyebrows. "She made me, this time."

Serah, however, was not. "Don't encourage her!"

Fang laughed at her and clapped his shoulder. "Yeah, yeah, you keep talkin'. Those Villiers-Farron mutant hybrids gotta keep poppin' out. Poor Snow'll be outnumbered soon enough, and it'll be half his fault!"

Serah glared at her. "Now, you look here–"

"Meanie Miss Farron's coming out." It was Noel who spoke this time, wearing a broad smile. "Serah, you're such easy prey right now. Why do you keep taking the bait?"

Her sister directed her glare at him, then sighed, rolled her eyes, and rubbed her stomach.

Beside Noel stood Yeul, who had been reduced – or perhaps, elevated – to a normal human with no special powers, and she looked happier than Lightning had seen in a long time as she gently touched Serah's belly. "You and your family will grow strong, and the two of you will be very happy." A mischievous look entered her eyes. "And Fang is right. Your eagerness may soon drown your hero in more Farrons than he can handle."

Lightning snickered as Serah shot her a hard look, but it was only half-serious.

"Never would've thought you'd say that sort of thing, Yeul," Vanille muttered.

"I'm not." Hope raised an eyebrow. "Coming to the new world seems to have opened up a lot of possibilities. Some are more unsightly than others, but..." He shrugged and glanced at Vanille. "...it is what it is. Never could I have guessed it would end this way, but I am very glad that it did."

"It's not ending, it's beginning." The redhead grinned. "That reminds me, are we still going up the trail?"

Lightning could take it no longer and turned away, her eyes sweeping the platform. Now that it had emptied, she could see much further and easier. She shielded her eyes from the hot sun, finally spying a simple black shirt and a sweep of violet hair with many hues, facing away from her, hands clasped behind his back, gazing up into the highest passes of the mountains ringing the plains.

She moved away from the group, not hiding her shy smile. "Wish you didn't live so far away."

His hair shimmered in the sunlight as he faced her, reflecting her smile with one of his own. "Where, then, would be the excitement of finding me again?" he said, raising one hand toward her.

She took it, pulling herself into his chest, where she embraced his waist and rested her head. Caius enveloped her in both arms, holding her close in silence for a long moment. Her fingers curled around the soft, airy fabric of his shirt, digging into the hard muscle of his back, as her hands smoothed down toward the base of his spine in short, slow strokes, an expression of intimacy and desire he echoed in the way a hand hugged her waist.

The sensation made her throat feel tight.

During those precious seconds, the rest of the world fell silent, and it was just the two of them in all of existence, the only beings that mattered. They had fought for a long time, only coming this close in the past to try and hurt one another, but in his arms, now, she found sanctuary.

_She let me go so that I could return to you_. The day he had told her that truth, after trying to press it out of him for so long, had been the day her world turned upside-down. In that moment, he had admitted his feelings were the same as hers and there was no more hiding. Though it had taken weeks thereafter to approach this new future without being anxious or afraid, they had made it here.

All the scars left by Caius's hand on her heart had healed, and though he sometimes still spoke of guilt in leaving the other Yeuls behind, he was finally at peace.

Lightning drew back from him, paused long enough to plant a brief kiss on his lips, and smiled at him. "Tonight's special," she said, taking his hand and walking with him toward the others as they left the platform. "It's the first anniversary where we actually spend it together, _and_ it's been two whole years. So hard to believe."

He made a sound of agreement in his throat.

"So, it's been a week since I last saw you. What've you been up to?"

Caius spent his existence doing much as he had in the days of Paddra's glory, hunting and helping tame the land or tending to the town. Though his influence had begun to diminish, it never really went away, and enough inhabitants knew who he was to keep a sense of respect about him. That he was spoken of even in the distant cities, a legend whispered of by traders and tourists, meant his legacy never really faded.

That they often mentioned _her_ as Etro's knight and his destined rival, and that they had turned their backs on war to unify in love instead, was embarrassing, and rather amusing.

"Nothing new," he said. His hand tightened; she faced him. "But I missed you, warrior goddess."

Gripping his fingers tighter, she pulled herself back to him, raised her free hand to rest beside his neck, and pressed her mouth to his – a lingering kiss that spoke of a thousand things words never could, soft as the night skies but edged in a fire she knew he shared with her. Though they often took to conversation, she had found just as much meaning in small gestures like this, and the silence.

When he made a sound of amusement, she managed to get herself to break the kiss. "Yeah," she said against his lips. For a moment, he rested his forehead against hers, twining their fingers together, and reveled in the sensation of two very bitter enemies finding common ground.

They hadn't told anyone else of their plans yet, as then it would just get out long before they were ready to finalize much of anything, but it was coming, soon, and it would be the last shred of proof that they had conquered Valhalla.

She squeezed his fingers. "Hey, at least we'll be together."

Then she tugged him along, and then, side by side, they left the platform to join the others.

* * *

On one of the cliffs above the plains, a redheaded woman and a silver-haired man made the last few feet of the climb to the top, shivering in the chillier air closer to the mountains. From this vantage point, they could see the entirety of the plains all the way to the horizon, where the sea could be seen glittering in the sunlight. In the distance, four-legged beasts roamed, bellowing as they grazed through the grass.

"You still haven't told me why we're here," Hope muttered. "Vanille, what's going on?"

"We said we'd see Gran Pulse together, in another lifetime," she said, smiling down at him and making it very hard for him to stay stern, despite the colder air. "It isn't Gran Pulse, but... it sure is pretty. I would say this counts as 'another lifetime', wouldn't you agree?"

He ascended the rest of the way up the dusty footpath to survey the land below. It _was_ pretty – gorgeous, even, full of vivid hues and hints of life, from the swaying grass to the trees, from the birds wheeling in the air to the beasts in the grass, from the glittering sea to the towering mountains. Breathtaking – as beautiful as anything on Gran Pulse, but in an entirely different way that made him stare in wonder.

For a long time, neither of them spoke, and then, she said, "You know, I thought for sure those thirteen days after we awoke were the beginning of the end, but... they weren't. They began an era where we worked to escape the thrall of magic and false gods. It took centuries to get here, and it hurt, but... but we made it."

Hope linked his fingers with hers, still not certain exactly what to make of their relationship – they lived rather far apart, and he didn't always have enough to go see her, or to meet her somewhere – but he knew he still had her as a friend, and that made him happy enough. Made him _content_.

"What about stories of the Crystal Age? Are we going to tell them?"

"Of course we are," she said. "We aren't going to stop just because some of it was bad. Even the bad parts have to be told, so everyone understands where we came from and why. The stories where people go through the worst things and come out stronger, no matter the loss... those are the _best _stories."Her eyebrows raised. "What made you ask about that? Seems like an odd thing to bring up."

"Oh, no, it was just because of what you said, that's all. It reminded me of when we sat out on Gran Pulse and looked at the wonder of your world. I think I'll always miss that land." Tightening his grip a moment, he then let go of her to tip his head and smile a little. "But this'll do, too."

"This'll 'do'?" Her eyebrows went back down as she put both hands on her hips. "Hope, you... you've been through so much, and I do hope things got better for you." Her brow furrowed again; her hands moved off her hips, started toward him, before she stopped and let them drop back to her side. "They did, right?"

"Sometimes, I... I dream." He looked out over the plains. "Memories scurry in my mind, plays of light and shadow, never really forming. I know Bhunivelze did things... and... I know I was there, watching, the whole time, but... I honestly don't... _remember_ that much about it." In his mind, in the back of it, he could recall what he spoke of – flickers of movement, dreamy images – but not any details. Perhaps he had been spared. Mwynn might even have had something to do with it, but regardless, he was grateful.

"I'm okay, Vanille." Turning back to her, he took one of her hands in both of his. "Really."

Her eyes, very green, shining in the sunlight, searched his for a very long time. He had not gazed into her eyes in so long, living with the hazy memory of traveling with her through Cocoon and Gran Pulse, but it made him happy to know he had not forgotten what she looked like.

"Come on, now," he said, tugging on her hand a bit. "Can you smile for me again?"

Her brow furrowed, but the corners of her lips twitched. A faint, reddish hue crept over her cheeks before she slid her hand out of both of his and ducked her head.

Her lips curved into a familiar expression he could remember from so long ago.

"I think I can, Hope." After a moment, she lifted her chin again so he could see it fully. "I think I can."

He returned it and looked out over the plains at the settlement, the beasts, the people, the strange, beautiful world they had found, and watched a bird of prey soar past with large, feathered wings. Its call echoed off the mountains, its shadow sprinting across the plains far below.

"We're a family, in all the ways that matter," he murmured. "And we're finally home. It's a good time to be happy."

* * *

The heroes of old finally know peace in this strange new world. Even the great warrior who had been condemned to eternity in the darkness has been freed to find his own path in a new future, beside the woman he had tried so many times to destroy out of blind desperation. They are only a small group within the millions that live on the planet, but they are building a new future that is full of so much, long-desired hope.

The crystal age is just a legend, to be told for generations to come. Immortalized in the words of those who had escaped that end, it is a tale of despair, vengeance, friendship, hope, and love conquering even the strongest chains of shadow, and shattering them.

And it is with that hope that they live on, greeting the new dawn.

_**The End**_

* * *

_And so it ends after all this time. Ending this story brings so many feelings. I went through this epilogue so many times, even rewriting an entire section from scratch, trying to make sure it ended well. Is it perfect? Of course not. But I wanted a sense of closure, and I set out writing this story with the intent to free Caius from his fate. I have accomplished that, I hope in a way that feels at least somewhat satisfying (having more of Yeul's perspective on letting him go probably would have helped, but still)._

_Thank you to everyone who has been with this story from the beginning, and to all of those who came later. I have appreciated every little bit of feedback I received, positive and otherwise. From what I've seen from all of you, I have succeeded in the goals I laid out for myself, and for that, I am content._

_I haven't fully decided if I will write another long story for this fandom or pairing, but regardless of what the future brings, I have enjoyed the journey. Thanks for reading, and I hope every one of you enjoyed it just as much._


End file.
